i am human two

5

WHAT WHAT THE FUVK WHAT THIS BEE-WASP-MAN-DUDE DONE TOOK STOLE THIS GREEN WORM THING AND CAME TO THIS LOCK, STUFFED WIRM GUY IN A HOLE AND FICKING LEFT WHAT AM NATURE THIS THE WIRDEST SHIT I EVER SAW WITH MY HUMAN TWO EYEBALLS WHAT THE FUVK

THEN APRIL DONE SHOOK OUT THE LOCK ANF HE HAD A WHOLE STASH OF DUDES WHATBHE FVK

little-miss-mash  asked:

ok but so imagine how computers get hot you get to cuddle with an monic space heater, and honestly it would be pretty uncomfortable what with all the metal and pipes and hard edges but. Imagine monic sweaters that were thick and squishy specifically for snuggly time. ok that's all, I love your art!

BONUS:

So well I think if you are in a relationship with a metal based entity you would have to be somewhat into the metal surface, but a good onmic significant other would probably also be very aware of his sharp edges around his squishy gf.

For some reason the couple from the Alive short are becoming the most adorkable and pure pair in my history of ships. >_> help.

holy shit.. why did i never make the connection.. that hide’s birthday is “half” of kaneki’s.. wtf.. june 10 (6/10) and dec 20 (12/20).. bye..

Pavlov had it all wrong

I am a single adult human living in a house with two corgis. Got Girldog from a shelter when she was about a year, year and a half old maybe; got Boydog a few years later as an 8-week puppeh. And let me tell you something, from Day One, this has been a three-way psychological experiment. I no longer know who is manipulating who on a daily basis.

  • One of the first things I trained Girldog to do was not to bark at the dinner table; if she barked at me while I was eating, I put her in The Quiet Place (her crate) where she couldn’t see me. She learned almost immediately to subvocalize her barks, to let out a breath with just enough vocal cord vibration that I wouldn’t QUIIIITE consider it a bark and move her further away from the food. It’s a sound like this: “Hrrrr. Hrrrr. Hhhrahhh.” I didn’t realize how odd this was until my aunt came over and said, “That dog hissed at me.” “Yes,” I said, “she does that.”
  • Boydog learned to do tricks by watching Girldog. I never taught him to sit. He learned by watching Girldog get a treat for sitting. Once, I told both dogs to sit at the same time, while I held a treat in each hand. When Girldog didn’t sit quick enough, Boydog put his paw on her butt and pushed her down.
  • I hung a bell on the door and taught Boydog to ring it when he wants to go out. Girldog sees no reason she should ring the bell, as it is beneath her dignity, and she can get her way by barking instead. Boydog, however, will ring the bell for Girldog when she lurks around by the door, although he has no interest in going outside himself. Girldog has made Boydog her personal slave in this matter.
  • Boydog rings the bell when he doesn’t need to go out but thinks I have been at my computer too long. By the time I get to the kitchen, he’s nowhere near the door, but hey mom, as long as you’re up, let’s play! He obviously does not believe I can see through this extremely clever ploy.
  • Girldog once climbed onto a sofa, crossed the back of it, leapt from the sofa to my desk chair, leapt from the chair to the desk, and knocked all my stuff off the desk. (I wasn’t there, but it was obvious from the trail of destruction what route she had taken.) Then she got down and proceeded to ignore the bag of corn chips she’d encountered and focus her attention on biting my phone charger in half, chewing up a USB memory stick, and eating a pen. I still have no idea how she could be so smart and so dumb at the same time.
  • Boydog will chase a laser pointer (not uncommon for dogs introduced to them as puppies! Pro tip) but only when Girldog is not around, because she hates it for some reason and will tackle him for it. Girldog also likes to be outside while I want to be in, and Boydog prefers to have us both inside. Boydog will lead me to the laser pointer, pester me until I get it down, and then run around chasing the laser and barking madly. No matter how stubborn Girldog has been about staying outside, she wants to know what he’s barking at and immediately comes inside. (It is always the laser pointer he’s barking at, Girldog. Always.)
  • There is a chair in my bedroom that I cannot sit on. The dogs take turns sleeping on it, depending on who gets there first. The only hard and fast rule is that if the human sits on the chair, they will both lose their cool. The chair is for dogs only. I have not even tried to sit on the chair for about six months now.

I suspect I’ll be adding more of these as the three of us continue to train each other.

Inopportune Moments

Originally posted by imcrystalmreed

There’s many ways I can draft up the perfect storyline that leads to this moment but I currently will not do that. Just understand that you’re in a pretty, excuse my French, shitty situation. In this situation, you are stuck with the whiny, intolerable Peter Hale in a room with no exit. Both of you were so caught up in your will to get it over that you both failed to see that it was a torture based room. The door knob was made of silver, the windows were there but was made of mountain ash. Near the ceiling was an intercom system and the voice coming from it was gruff and cynical. “In two hours, the air vent will filter wolfbane that will kill the both of you. Either have sex and give me both of your bodily fluids or die. The choice is yours.”

Peter looked at you making you gag.
“Don’t get any fresh ideas you disgusting dog”
“What the hell is a were-cat anyways?”
“For the last time, I’m a Bakeneko!”
“Oh, how could I forget? It’s the same thing, the only difference is you weren’t human to begin with, you’re not even Japanese”
“I am two seconds away from using these pretty little claws to rip your heart out and eat it”
“Such an animal”

You growled and marched over to the opposite side of the room and sat on the bed. Peter was the worst thing on the planet in your eyes. He had no respect for you or your feelings. The first day he met you he made a joke about not throwing up fur balls around him.

“Please stop, you already smell terrible, I don’t need your pheromones as well”
“Leave me alone, Peter”

You felt the bed sink, his presence closer than you would’ve liked.

“As much as I hate you, we will die here if we don’t work together”

You stayed quiet, hoping he would just go away but you had to admit, there was only an hour and thirty minutes left before the gas would be released.

“It’s just sex, you know”
You turned towards him with your eyebrows raised.
“You are familiar with that term, yes? I mean someone had to have tapped that”
Peter put his hands up when you narrowed your eyes at him, “I’m just saying, I mean some things about you could be labeled as sexy”
Just wait…
“If it weren’t for your big mouth”
There it is.
You got up from the bed to get away from him.
His fingers closed around your wrist and he pulled himself up, his body towering over yours.
“I’ll be gentle, Y/N. After this, you’ll be begging for more”
His cockiness should’ve made you feel sick to your stomach but between his confidence and his warm hand tightly wrapped around your wrist made you flutter just a bit.
Being the sassy girl you were, you made a quick quip.
“As if you could keep up with your little Hale,” you yanked out of his grip and made fierce eye contact with him.
“Little? I’m not the cat here. In fact…”
Peter’s eyes dangerously scanned your body, his heart and breathing was controlled.
He alerted your predator instinct as he lurched forward and pressed you up against the wall, trapping you under his body weight.
He used one hand to pin your hands into place then used the other to slide past your leggings, resting his palm on your heat.

“You’re the only pussy here, little girl”
A soft, ragged whimper escaped you, a smirk painted on Peter’s lips.
His fingers artfully slid along your slit in a steady motion.
The pleasure was delicious, his fingers not even exposed to your skin yet.
However, a man was touching you in an intimate place where most boys at your supposed age shied away from.
Peter took his time, working you up into a desire that could not be filled fully clothed.
He sensed that you were ready to move on and slipped your shirt over your head.
“You like the way I touch you, don’t you?”
Your lips dared not to move until he unclasped your bra and roughly groped them in his hands, a tiny, shrill yelp dribbled out of your mouth.
“Answer me, kitty”
“Yes”
“Yes Peter”
Peter gripped your throat in his hand and pulled you close to him.
“Call me, Master”
Through the tightness around your cords, you looked at him through your eyelashes and responded in a voice that made Peter growl, “yes, Master”
His tongue skimmed your trembling lips, his patience was slowly being stripped away.
“That’s a good girl,” he let go and forced you on your knees, “do as your Master says and suck him off”
You went for his belt, unbuckled it, then dropped everything, giving him a chance to step out of his clothes.
His cock, was far from little.
It may had to do with the fact that he was an alpha but you were sure that it wouldn’t fit inside you when it came time to put it in.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like little Hale? Suck it”
You stood on your knees, facing the monster before you.
You placed a kiss on his tip, a peck at first then tongue was initiated.
You used both your hands to stroke his length while you continued your make out session with his tip. The pre-cum leaking out served as a lubricant in which you spread by twisting your hands in opposite directions, sliding up and down his shaft. 

Peter looked down at the right moment to meet your eyes just as you attempted to slid a good portion of him into your mouth. He groaned at the sensation and the sight of this truly erotic scene. You took your eyes away to focus on giving him the blowjob of his dreams. You used your feline powers and slowly extended your jaw to take him fully. In surprise, Peter bucked his hips forward, almost cumming as you increased your speed. “Fuck, baby. You’re such a dirty fucking kitty, aren’t you?” Peter slapped one of your breasts making you moan in both pleasure and pain once he rubbed it afterwards. Between your legs, you could feel your juices seeping through the underwear. His muscles bulged in his shirt, rippling every time you fondled his balls in your hand. Tremors rose in his wake, threatening to shoot a load in her mouth. You remembered reading an article about a blow job and decided to take a risk. You slid a finger in his perineum, startling him. Peter groan out loud as he violently spasmed into your mouth. His hot, salty but sweet sperm swam down your mouth and you tried to gather as much as you could.

Peter pulled you off your knees and pulled you into a fervent, impatient kiss. He didn’t care that he could taste himself on your lips, in actuality, in turned him on even more.
He tossed you on the bed and practically ripped your leggings and underwear off your body.
“I can’t wait anymore, I need this wet pussy”
And he wasn’t kidding.
Peter hooked his arms under your legs and lined him towards your entrance.
“Wait, Peter, I don’t think–”
“What did you just call me?”
You realized your mistake and saw his glowing blue eyes.
“I mean, Mast–Ahhh!”
Peter rammed himself into you and you swore that you could feel your pussy shred in two halves. 

His hips moved in a sharp and steady rhythm making you gasp with each thrust. You naturally brought out your claws and scratched at his back, digging into his skin. “My kitty likes to be fucked hard, doesn’t she?” It was so good that all you could do was breathlessly say “yes” over and over. He watched as your chest rose and fell with each thrust and every lucid moan that spilled out your mouth.

Peter was so much better than all the school boys combined. He wasn’t close to a release, he wasn’t in it for himself. Peter was making you moan so much that you were surprised tour voice hasn’t cracked. But best of all, he filled you up and gave you pleasure in places where you didn’t even know existed. You shifted a bit and fell into trance your eyes rolling into the back of your head when he hit the perfect spot. “You gonna for me? Huh? Is my little kitty gonna cum all over me?“ 

You tried to speak but every time he slammed into you, the words got lost in translation. Your walls squeezed down on Peter so tight that he didn’t even care that you didn’t respond. He was contempt when he heard his name slip from your lips in a high pitch tone that almost did him in.

Peter slid out of you as he flipped you over so that your back was exposed to him. Even though you just came, you wiggled your ass to tempt him. He smacked both cheeks before wrapping his arms around you from behind and sliding himself in.

 "Oh, fuck me!” You moaned and pushed back onto him. “Does the little kitty want to me to fuck her?” He grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled your head back so he could nibble on your neck, his other hand reached down to run his fingers over your clit.

“Yes Master, please, I need you…” You moaned at him between gasps, “Please…”

Peter’s thrusts grew frantic now, rubbing his cock along your walls, pushing himself harder into you. His fingers at your clit added to a euphoria you’d never known. “Such a good kitty, I’m going to – oh fuck” His moans stirred something inside of you. Your hips pushed back in an attempt to make him cum quicker. Peter began to lose his rhythm, knowing he was so close. An animalistic urge swarmed over his body and he stretched out his fangs, biting down on the part where you shoulder and neck connect while pulverizing your insides. Feeling his cock jerking inside you as you came mixed with his teeth in your shoulder pushed you over the edge, an overwhelming sense of pain and pleasure forced you to scream your release. Peter grew sloppy and moved his teeth, the blood in his system making him boil in arousing heat. He roared as he pumped his seed into you with a total of eight shots.

The mind blowing, toe-curling sex that the both of you had tired you out. Peter moaned as he slipped out of you then rolled over to the side. 

He didn’t get a chance to tell you how much he’d wanted to do that because a hissing sound went off. The both of you looked at the vent and panicked.
“What the fuck?!”
“Hey, we did what you asked!”
The cynical, gruff sound came on the intercom but instead of talking, the man was laughing.
Peter grabbed the sheets off the bed and tried to cover the both of you but it was too late, you had already passed out.
His body felt heavy crawling over to your limp figure.
“Y/N, wake up!”
His voice grew distorted, his vision blurry as the door opened.

The next person to call octagon misunderstood or defend her actions or say she’s really a good person still I swear to heck is gonna get some, if y'all can’t see by at the very frickin least this ep the kind of person is I don’t know what to do with you

2

I needed to draw the threesome huggles.

Continuation of this Android!Baymax AU.  Gave Tadashi a matching coat that Hiro probably made for him, ‘cause he’s a little shit like that and Tadashi plays along.

3

Yosano as Little Red Ridinghood

“Red Ridinghood went joyously home, and no one ever did anything to harm her again.”

Part of @forthesmols‘  Bungo Stray Fairy Tales

Human Au/ Highschool Au

Characters: Silvia and Maite

Silvia: @ask-aph-la-catracha
Maite: @ask-united-mexican-states


Time spent: 2 hours
~~

So Gina and I were discussing several aus and this one seem to catch our attention the most because of all the possibilities.

Maite would be one of the popular girls (but not stuck up), a semi good student but one that would procrastinate until the day before something is due. Still sassy as ever though.

Silvia on the other hand would be a nerd with her main fascination in astronomy. She would be a great student and would strive to get things done at a reasonable time. Silvia would be “popular” just because she is related to Maite.

anonymous asked:

What do you think Peter and Johnny's relationship is like?

Oh! I like this ask!

  • Johnny will randomly call Peter ‘kid’ or ‘kiddo’ a few times ‘squirt’ and ‘short stuff’, and it drives Peter crazy, which is why Johnny does it. Johnny normally only calls Peter these things while they are in civvies, but one time Johnny called Spidey ‘short stack’ in front of all the Avengers and Fantastic Four.  
  • For the rest of the night, everyone referred to Spiderman as ‘short stack’, (which is usually in reference to a short woman) and Peter felt any smidgen of respect that he used to have, vanish after that night. (Clint still calls Peter ‘short stack’
  • Johnny found himself webbed to his bed the next morning. And Sue didn’t even help him out. (He ended up having to burn them off, and in the process, he ruined his favorite sheets…stupid Peter)
  • The two boys are competitive. They race around the city, have eating contests, see who can beat up the most baddies, have video game marathons, and even have wrestling contests every once and a while (Peter isn’t allowed to use his spider strength)
  • Peter is pretty much oblivious to how protective Johnny is of him. When he shows up with a split lip or a black eye Johnny always feels himself starting to burn with a need to punch the person responsible. So don’t let Johnny see Peter with broken bones because he will find the person who did the breaking… 
  • Peter gets pretty angry if anyone every extinguishes Johnny’s fire. “That isn’t allowed!” Most the time Johnny doesn’t really get hurt, because no one can touch him. But whenever it does happen…watch out for Spiderman, cuze he is coming after you…
  • Peter and Johnny have a favorite burger joint that is a hole in the wall tiny place that pretty much no one knows about, they go there pretty often. Peter dips his fries in his milkshakes. Johnny is disgusted. “How could you do that to your poor fries!?” “No, Johnny just try it! It’s good I swear!” 
  • Pinky promises are a sacred thing within their relationship. You do not break a pinky promise. That would be unspeakable. (Sue has a picture of Peter with his mask off, Johnny still in his FF uniform, giving each other a pinky promise on top of a building. The boys don’t know Sue took the photo)
  • Johnny loves Aunt May. Johnny has gone to May for advice, and sometimes he’ll go over to the Parker house before Peter gets back from school just so that he can hang with Aunt May for an hour or two. (This boy needs all the parenting he can get) 
  • Peter and Johnny have quite a bit of sleep overs. Some over at Peter’s house watching cheesy monster movies and eating cookies that they baked with Aunt May before hand, and then falling asleep tangled together on the couch. (Aunt May has many pictures of this) (She and Sue trade photos)
  • Other sleep overs are at Johnny’s, usually after a patrol or a rough night. They prank Ben and make a mess of things (many food fights have happened in Sue’s kitchen and she is going to kill them) 
  • Peter is in love with Johnny’s bed…He wants to marry Johnny’s bed. It is a California king sized bed, with the softest sheets and fuzzy blankets and fluffy pillows and Peter always insists, that he has to sleep on it with Johnny. 
  • Peter is a blanket hog and his feet are always freezing, Johnny has told him that a billion times. Peter always comes back saying Johnny snores and Johnny scoffs looking offended at such a notion and walks away from a laughing Peter. 
  • Peter is a heat leech (as Johnny would say) He is always all grabby with Johnny stealing Johnny’s body heat and calling him a ‘space heater’ or ‘heated blanket’. Johnny is not amused. 

These two are best buds, so there is a bunch more I am leaving out (piggy back rides, stealing each other’s clothes, pranking one another, saving each other’s lives, sharing body heat when they are teleported to Alaska, long and elaborate handshakes that confuse Reed every time, camping trips and catching fireflies, Peter trying to teach Johnny science stuff and Johnny putting his hands over his ears and singing ‘la la la la’, Johnny buying Peter that big fuzzy sweatshirt he was looking at as a surprise, Peter coming over with pizza to cheer Johnny up) and so much more. 

Credit to Puck Daddy for this gloriousness. 

So guys, who’s starting the petition because I am SO here for this. 

I laid an atlas out in front
of you and said “pick a city.”
You smiled at me
and the ink bled into your hands
where you touched it.

What I didn’t say was,
pick a city where I can hold
those hands.
Where we can walk the streets
and people will only stare
because your fingers are
the land and mine are
the sea and they’re
finally coming together.
Where people won’t look twice,
simply because you are a girl
and I am a girl and didn’t
Aristophanes once say that humans
are two halves of a whole?

No one should call us wrong
for being brave enough to
let our hearts wander and
return to a person
who feels like home.

—  Maddie C, atlas hands, wandering hearts

HOWEVER, no matter how happy i am about this wonderful, wonderful conversation between these two wonderful, wonderful human beings, something i don’t appreciate is that it forced me to face the fact that isak valtersen, who without a doubt has one of the most beautiful faces in all of norway, somehow still uses an old tobey maguire meme as his profile picture. appalling! unfair! unbelievable!

6

Happy birthday TAKAO!! (21/11)

This is the more romantic I get, thanks to the lucky item of 21/11 for scorpio (that was “coincidentally” in first place) Purse and the color blue.

somehow also “””coincidentally””” the second place was cancer with a cough drop and pink.

Really wanted to finish this a day ago but…things happen orz, also sorry for the long post

 i really wanted to participate in something like takao week but i just hadn’t time..so at least the birthday one \o/ 

Fanfiction Recommendation

5/28: Hey guys! I am so excited for this week! This show that I’m about to work (Something Rotten!) is a really big deal for me, that I can’t even explain my happiness. Don’t worry though, its only a nightly show and I will be writing for you guys whenever I have the down time.

I finally did post the next part of A Little Too Real and my Masterlist is  completely updated. So with that enjoy this week’s recommendations and I love you guys!

Last Week’s Recommendations

My Masterlist

Dean x Reader

Sam x Reader

Cas x Reader

  • Blind Date by @waywardmoeyy - “My prompts are “#13 ‘Not another blind date’.” and “L) Mini Golf” with Castiel.”

Crowley x Reader

Jensen x Reader

  • Travelin’ Soldier (Series) by @agentsofsupernaturalmarvel - Reader is currently deployed in the army to an undisclosed combat area. She has been deployed for nearly two years. Anxiously awaiting her return is her husband and brother as they film for Supernatural. Letter comes informing the family that she may not be heard from for awhile and soon devastating news comes. In italic bold in the story is lyrics.
  • Dean Thinks You’re Hot by @supernatural-jackles - “You think you could write one where the reader feels insecure about her stretch marks/size and Jensen is her best friend and tries to help her feel better?”

Jared x Reader

  • White Roses (Series) by @casbabydontgoineedyou - Determined to put the past behind you; you pack up and move to Vancouver after your world comes crashing down around you in a matter of hours. When you get settled in, and get a job as a barista, one of your regulars asks you out on a date. But how long can you keep your past in the past?
  • I Am Human (Series) by @sharonisantisocialimagines - He’s one of the two main actors. He’s 28, sexy, charming and funny. She’s the new girl on set. The new assistant from a foreign country. And she is only 20 years old. She is also the one who stole his heart in milliseconds, just by being herself.  Jared Padalecki and (Y/N) (Y/L/N) are what you like to call star-crossed lovers, two fitting pieces of a puzzle. But we all know love is not easy. So what happens if their age difference becomes a problem? Can (Y/N) keep working for Jared when feelings get involved? And what secret is she hiding from him

Misha x Reader

  • First Impressions and Second Chances (Series) by @ruined-by-destiel - He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

Bucky x Reader

Sebastian Stan x Reader

  • You Died by @jared-padaloveme - Sebastian comes home only to find you crying. He freaks out, thinking something happened, but he calms down once he figures out what’s going on.