i am hilare

y’all i love lena luthor. 

the way she set lillian up was so unecessarily theatrical and like she went out of her way to get maximum dramatic climax. like iirc l-corp is the only source of the isotope so she could have just destroyed/moved it all and told lillian to go fuck herself in her office. but no. she staged this evil bonding moment (ask me to help u and i will) and even after effectively thwarting the plan, she made sure to put on her villainy I’m A Luthor show for kara knowing good and damn well the virus wasnt going to work no matter who pushed the button. let kara fly after a giant missle which then exploded in her face just so she could stand there and watch lillian’s reaction as she realized. like…who does that?? just to send an especially large fuck u to Evil Mom on thanksgiving. honestly, she could have called the cops 3.5 scenes ago what a drama queen. 

@albaparthenicevelut replied to your post: Current mood: I need an Obi-Wan Kenobi: The…

I was walking down the street today honest to God contemplating what kind of songs Sad Old Ben Kenobi might sing to his banthas and then I realized that I had gone insane and star wars had eaten my brain.

*points at my eyes, points at your eyes* 

LOL, you and I understand each other. I was not joking when I said that my husband and I were talking about Obi-Wan and Vader listening to 80s power ballads as they worked through their Feels. That is an actual thing that happened to me earlier today. 

Ben Wyatt:  *looks into the camera like he’s on The Office*

Originally posted by adamscottblog

Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards Against Humanity Headcanons

I love the things my brain comes up with in the shower.

  • Yami convincing Kaiba to play because it’s a game for assholes.
  • Tristan generally playing the worst cards (but occasionally has a really good one).
  • Duke and Tea always trying to play the dirtier cards.
  • Both Yami Marik and Bakura will always pick whoever played “multiple stab wounds” regardless of their prompt.
  • Joey busting a gut laughing when he draws “What’s Batman’s guilty pleasure?” and someone plays “dead parents”. Kaiba tries not to laugh.
  • Yami completely losing his shit when Kaiba draws “How did I lose my virginity?” because he has the blank white card he drew on to look like Blue-Eyes White Dragon and he can’t be stopped from playing it.
  • Afterwards, whenever they duel and Kaiba plays his Blue-Eyes, there’s always an uncomfortable silence before Yami loses his shit every time.
  • This card is also played if Kaiba draws “During sex, I like to think about _______.”
  • When Tea plays “I never truly understood _____ until I encountered _____” Kaiba plays “Poor life choices” and “Strong female characters.”
  • “A pyramid of severed heads” always wins the point if Yami is the card czar.

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Rundown of Bill’s AMA

SO THAT WAS A LOT.

Things to take away from the AMA:

  • Stanley is indeed named Stanley
  • Dipper has an embarrassing first name
  • Bill seems to have a serious grudge with the CIA
  • He doesn’t procreate but he considers the 7 deadly sins his “children”
  • He’s over 1000 years old
  • He once had a family
  • There are two Stans (Stanley and Stanford)
  • When asked if he was once a human being, he referenced his time in Dipper’s body.
  • “Stanley made enough mistakes without my help!”
  • Gompers may have once been “not a goat”, considering Bill likes him “better this way”
  • the guy on the other side of the mailbox in the woods is a “real blabbermouth”
  • Stan’s tattoo means “watch your step” at least for Bill. This may clue in to what people already guessed; it’s a ward to keep out Bill Cipher.
  • When asked about Dipper needing to be cleansed to be rid of Bill for good and wondering if Bill still has a connection to Dipper, Bill replied with saying that religion isn’t real and to have “pleasant dreams”.
  • Bill knows Slenderman, stating that he used to not be so slender.
  • The tapestry of Bill has been around a while, made by the natives of Gravity Falls.
  • Bill makes a “weird” pass at Wendy’s mom by quoting a Fountains of Wayne.
  • “I HAVE EYES IN MANY PLACES. I HAVE FRIENDS WITH MANY FACES. I KEEP THE PINES IN PROPER PLACES. DONT LOOK NOW- I UNTIED YOUR LACES“
  • Going by the above, it can be assumed that Bill Cipher is, indeed, the invisible wizard.
  • Bill has a lot of nasty things to say about Time Baby. They aren’t on good terms.
  • “Tad Strange” is confirmed as a character by Bill, who calls him a “real square”.
  • Bill exists in a state of quantum uncertainty.
  • Bill can see all alternate realities of himself, making those AUs essentially canon.
  • Bill concedes to a loophole in his design, stating that he is in fact, not all powerful, but he dresses to try and achieve a “promotion”.
  • Chicks dig psychopaths, and his fan girls should make a throne for him in the Nevada desert. 
  • Bill hates puns.
  • AND MANY MORE IM SURE but these seemed like the “most important”.
10

a second part to the thing i made awhile ago
(click to enlarge)
and no, you can’t include 50+ years of film-making without making it look like an insane mess (trust me, i’ve tried)

WHERE TO BEGIN??

i have a shit ton of rec lists, take your pick.

7

well, I’ll admit that this wasn’t my best one, but Murphy should still appreciate it, don’t you think?

So, Adventures in my Public speaking class

Today we had to give a very simple ‘How to..’ Speech, easy enough. Some guy came and told us how to play some Mariachi music his family made, this girl taught us how to do proper weight lifting techniques (I payed very close attention to that B), Erin the oldest in our class at a wonderful 50 taught us how to properly clean out a Roomba vaccum, and a Chemistry major taught us how to make ‘Elephant’s toothpaste’ which is this gooey blue substance that foams out of a bottle and looked really cool

So, you would THINK I wouldn’t be surprised at the rather out of left field topics being discussed today. But that was not the case. This man goes next and I am assaulted with this bright yellow visage.

He is wearing a Pikachu onesie.

As well as Ash’s hat.

So my mind is just stuttering at the hilarity I am witnessing and coming up with quips such as ‘Omfg is he going to teach us ‘how to become a pokemon master???’ But no, it was much more simple than that.

He was going to teach us on ‘how to be a weeb.’

I fucking LOST it I kept cackling when he kept saying things like ‘One of the things you may have is what we call a ‘waifu or husbando’ when you have a favorite character.’ But then I realized something very important

I know about everything hes fucking saying

and oh god when he got to the music I fucking knew EVERY SONG I was DIEING there was Hatsune Miku and he had a volunteer go up to perform a dance to a song and im so upset it wasnt me because it was carameldansen and I would have fuCKING OWNED THAT SHIT AND I WAS ABOUT TO ASK HIM WHAT HIS FAVORITE VOCALOID SONG WAS AND IM JUST??? I WANTED TO NERD OUT??

So yeah, I’m having lots of fun in my public speaking class

Lmao I had someone ask me in a private message if I could make a shirt and stick it on redbubble even temporarily and I was sure what is it:

Long story short this now exists:

and I am pissing. Perfect. Yes. Will I own one of these too? I think I might. #yolo

So I’ve like developed this ridiculous crush on this girl at my work who is super straight. We literally have nothing in common aside irresponsible drug usage - which is hardly a great basis for a relationship lol. She probs embodies all the things I would usually say I dislike in terms of style / interests / everything really. But she’s also super pretty and lovely and cute and I really like her. And today I was well paranoid she thought I was a weirdo and that’s why she’d ignored my text yesterday after she wrote down her phone number for me the other day. But then things were okay cos she made me do a shot of this disgusting chilli vodka and then I was chasing her around the shop floor and we were dancing to Bootylicious and she was saying she wanted to come out to my favourite night next month and she apologised for not replying cos she was wired. I am literally a mess. When will I ever fancy anyone that’s not significantly older than me and not messed up and unattainable.