i am going to have a lot of fun watching this

Essays in Existentialism: Undies

You’re an underwear model and there’s a giant billboard of your toned body just across from where I work so I have to look at you every day AU

The office on the twelfth floor was fairly empty. Despite three years in the position, the inhabitant did not add much in terms of personalizing it. There was a soft leather chair in the corner with a blanket from her alma mater draped over it. There were a few stacks of books around it, on her large desk, littering the floor neatly. It was fairly boring, until she opened the window.

Keep reading

ARMY 4th: BTS ROLLING PAPERS TO EACH OTHER:

Jungkook’s rolling paper by the members: 

Namjoon: You have no mental sharpness but you are good looking. You are like the main character of an anime. you have so much passion. your eyes and body are massive. You really love Muji Tea. Number 1 at making our team’s average age younger. Jeon Jungkook <3 the ‘guk’ (Broth/soup) that I love the most? Bean paste soup ~ <3

Jin: Jungkook turn on your speakers quieter at home. Come with me to the water park again. Let’s not forget (to go)

Yoongi: Jungkook you are trying to write music lately. If you have something you don’t know, use the internet. I am not a professor/genius. To be honest. I am too lazy to help you hahaha. I’m joking. I will help you a lot. So gain strength. Hwaiting!! (a cheering)

Hoseok: Jungkook-ah!!! Turn down the volume of the speakers in our dorm. I can hear it even in my room. -_- You pig!!

Jimin: Just continue growing up like you have until now. Just don’t grow up taller. Just grow up kind.

Taehyung: Jungkook-ah. It’s hyung … really I’m hyung (He is saying that he is older than him) … you became nicer and gentler lately. *acting cute* let’s have fun/play together.

Taehyung’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon: You are so loud when you play (computer)  games. you bother me but I also snore so I understand you. You are the best looking these days. You are like a farmer. You were born as an idol. You are glued to Gucci. you are so innocent/pure. You have no mental sharpness (not able to catch into things quickly) but you are so cute. So lovable. Kim Taehyung <3 the 'hyung’ that I love the most? a-hyung <3

Jin: When you’re playing games please be a little bit quieter. But you have become brighter these days and that makes me very happy. I hope you make the world brighter with your brightness.

yoongi: It’s right that you do everything to the best of your abilities.try your hardest. It’s right that you play games very passionately. Since you do everything very passionately, let’s passionately enjoy music and games too. Hwaiting.

Hoseok: taehyung-ah hyung always loves you ~~ <3 <3  stop sleeping with the air conditioner on. You will get sick ~ <3 <3 stop playing games so much ~ <3 <3 study with hyung instead <3 <3

Jimin: I don’t know since when but you seem to have become more like an adult, but you are also always like a kid (satori). My friend, stop playing games so much before I go throw your computer away. Wake up when I wake you up my friend. I will shove my hands in your armpits. (drew V as the heart figure he always draws himself as). thank you my friend (In tiny letters).

Jungkook: V hyung! Hyung, stop biting me it hurts so much I am going to die. I always feel this way but you are so good looking.

Jimin’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon; You are sometimes cunning but also sexy, short, attractive when you dance, you always work so hard, you like billiard, you changed the most, but you aren’t obvious Chimchim <3 THE 'Chim’ (acupuncture) that I like the most? Poison acupuncture. 

Jin: Jimin-ah you are an angel. I will do a three lettered acrostic poem using your name. park: In park’s family something good happened. Ji: You are a very cool friend. Min: Min Yoongi 

Yoongi: Jimin you are always doing things to the best of your abilities and that’s so charismatic. Let’s be together for a very long time. I applaud your hard work. thank you.

Hoseok: Jimin-ah our Jiminie who is the most attractive in the entire world ~~ <3 <3 when you go back to our dorm today, please clean the things on your desk ~~<3 <3 have strength!!

Taehyung: Jimin-ah~ even if you do aegyo (act cute) to my eyes you are not cute at all ~ do it to a certain amount ~ but when I see that cuteness thank you *acting cute* 

Jungkook: jimin hyung! be thankful that you are older than me. I am kidding, hyung you are always shining!!! Rice cake (jimin’s nickname) forever!!!

Namjoon’s rolling paper by the members:

Jin: Mon-ah I pick up a lot of things that you drop on the plane for you. I wonder how you have so many friends that are like moms around you. But you are cool.

Yoongi: Our eternal leader Rap Monster. Even though I don’t say it I respect you a lot. please always gain strength hwaithing. Thank you.

Hoseok: My center!! My supportive friend Rap Mon!! Namjoon~~~should we go for chicken and beer??

Jimin: A person that drops everything x 18. Stop dropping your phone hyung. You look so cool when you do solo stages. You are the number 1 coolest person when you are on stage. When you are off stage you are the number 1 dummy.  

Taehyung: Watching our leader who’s always cool, I learn something every day. Continue teaching me composing and producing and stop dropping things ~!! Kim Namjoon is the awesome and the best looking.

Jungkook: To RM. you are sleeping behind me right now and you look very very handsome. please continue showing us your cool side <3

Hoseok’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon: You are often like a horse, but you pull us like a horse. You are like an angel 1004-9 (sounds like “you’re like an angel” in Korean). the most professional. When I see you my heart feels at ease. you dress nicely. Your shoulders got bigger. You’re very neat. You work hard to make songs lately. The point of our choreography. Jung Hoseok <3 the 'seok’ that I like the most is? Kim Jiseok hyung <3 (making a joke about liking another actor with 'seok’ in his name)

Jin: Hoba, your existence guides/leads my path. you teach me dancing and if I’m about to go down the wrong path you yell at me. You are scary :( I’m sorry I was wrong :(

Yoongi: Your bright energy always gives us hope. I hope you always stay bright and hopeful.

Jimin: You are a cool hyung whether it’s on stage or off stage. you’re such a perfect roommate that people who use their bedrooms alone don’t make me jealous. Sometimes you’re really like an adult and sometimes you are such a silly hyung. You are a hyung that always goes shopping with me. you are a hyung that’s brighter than anyone but also a hyung that gets tired faster than anyone. you are a hyung that loves seafood that I can’t eat. you are a hyung that’s always always loud. You are a hyung that always makes fun of me but also tells me that I’m cool. let’s not be sick.

Taehyung: Hoseok hyung you are someone that makes me laugh. You are someone that gives me joy. you are a hyung that takes care of me. I’m always thankful and I love you. Our hope.

Jungkook: Hope hyung. You are always a bright energy! Thank you for always making the environment happy. I’m catching up to your producing!

Yoongi’s rolling paper by the members: 

Namjoon: I wish you would gain some strength. when I look at you sometimes, you really are good looking. You are often very attractive lately. Your body is very weak, you are like a grandpa. I don’t know since when but you started wearing only black clothing. You got a bit more tanned so you are like brown sugar now. Your music is cool. MinSuga who is important to BTS <3 The 'ga’ that I like the most is? Shim Chunga (an old Korean folk tale)

Jin: Yoongi-ah you are my roommate, even when we marry let’s live together and be roommates how is that? 

Hoseok: Suga hyung!! I always have a thankful heart towards you ~~ <3 <3 I am also thankful for the gift you gave me recently <3 <3 <3 I anticipate you hyung ~~<3 I will give you a birthday gift this time ~ !! <3

Jimin: It makes me happy seeing you laugh often. Always stay this way. Don’t faint when you get older and do extraneous activities. you are very attractive when you perform these days.

Taehyung: A hyung that is pretty doing many things, and smiling. Don’t be sick, always be healthy, and make only good memories. The best smile angel of the universe Min Yoongi hwaiting (cheering)

Jungkook: suga hyung. let’s go eat lamb skewers one day. let’s lose weight first though!!!

Jin’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon: Your mental age is like 2.6 years old, but you love eating. When you drive, when you play the guitar, when you are good at things at times, you are the most attractive. Your age worth is -99999999 won. You are often cute. You were a lot more attractive when we debuted, but you are still good looking. Kim Seok-jin <3 the 'jin’ that I love the most is? Crane wing formation (in Korean)

Yoongi: Jin hyung please act your age … I’m joking. It’s fun seeing you so bright lately! Thank you!!

Hoseok: Jin hyung that I love. I’m so glad that you are the oldest hyung in our team ~~~ !! please act your age though!!~<3<3

Jimin: I’m thankful that you are you. You’re the funniest out of all of us. I think this often lately, but you’re really good looking. You’re also like an old man though … also like a child … also like a fool … also like an angel … Thank you hyung.

Taehyung: Jin hyung please come back to the time when you were good looking~!! Now *sigh* .. never mind .. I like you. also, hyung you match short hair a lot. everything Jin does is good. have strength always!

jungkook: Jin hyung … It’s so tiring stooping to your level but when I see you it’s so fun and joyful … please remain that way. Aja! Aja! hwaiting (cheering).

Cr rosoidai 
That took me like forever to write. Hope you enjoy it ^^ @mimibtsghost

Beginners guide for wlw mangas/manhwas

1. Tamen De Gushi (Ongoing)

Okay. Listen. This manhwa is for yall out there who just want a chill, innocent, non complicated, 50/50 fluff-to-humor ratio story. Blonde and Brunette. And listen, listen, listen… This is DIABETES worth sugar. The art style is really good too. It’s simple but somewhat sophisticated. So far it has 139 short chapters (about 12 pages per chapter). There’s a linear story to it, but it sometimes drifts to a completely different timeline. It updates about once a month, or sometimes once every two months. 11/12

2. Fluttering/Exciting Feelings (Ongoing/Currently in Hiatus due to Author’s health)

Before I even start with this, I got major Korrasami vibes out of it ho ly shit. Anyway, this manhwa is currently at chapter 68, and sad to say that the author may never continue the story again due to cancer and several other reasons. But I am still adding this manhwa to the list because it’s sooo good. It’s not as fluffy and humorous as Tamen De Gushi because later in the story, No-rae (brown hair) brings in some drama while Seol-a has drama of her own kind. The art is simple but it’s great enough to look amazing. Still though, the manhwa is great, but sadly… it might be discontinued :(. 10/12

3. Citrus [Saburouta] (Ongoing)

I like this manga. I like it a lot. The art is good anatomy wise, but sometimes it gets too…. much….. Here’s a note, though: These two are step sisters. Yes. You heard me right. There are a lot of love triangles, a lot of drama, a lot of “Im-gonna-kiss-her-wait-no-nvm” moments, but there are a lot of WELL-DRAWN kiss scenes and semi-sexual things. There is almost no story line? Well, there is, but it’s your typical high school plot. It barely updates, and it currently has 30 chapters. Probably updates once every two months. 8.5/12

4.  Yagate Kimi Ni Naru (Ongoing)

Yo, listen. This one is ……. VERY complicated. If you are planning on reading this story, I need you to know that this is as basic as I can put it: Nanami hates herself and doesn’t want her partner Yuu to fall in love with her, while Yuu is someone who can’t fall in love with someone. The art is simple but good god it’s really good *o*. It has fluff, but for every fluff there will always be some sort of angst right after or before it. There is certainly a plot line on this but it doesn’t focus too much on the plot. Characters are great and they have a personality of their own. Despite the “Im not in love” thing that is going on in this manga, there are many, many, cute parts. It updates about once every month or every two months. 10.5/12

5. The Love Doctor (Ongoing)

(PS: this image is misleading btw but it was too fucking cute) I. freaking. love. this. manhwa. so. much. Now, this has many, many fluff moments but it also has its bulk of angst and drama. Love(ish) triangles, dark past from both parties, and there IS an age gap between the two but I forgot how many years. Still though!!! It is worth a read! The art style is cute and light and adorable, but sometimes the emotions can start looking the same in each panel (especially for one of the characters). Updates, I believe, every month. 11/12

6. Pulse [Ratana Satis] (Ongoing)

Look at this art. Look at it. Isn’t it cute? Well, if you’re here for cute shit turn the fuck away cus this IS indeed cute, buuuuuut it also has sex scenes. There is also fluff and drama, and as you can see, one of them is a doctor. The art style is pretty well done and really sophisticated. I can’t remember if there’s an age gap? I’m pretty sure there is? Anyway!!! There’s a story, yes, and also a shitty ex that no one should like but everyone feels sorry for (for good reasons of course). 12/12

7. Magan & Danai / Magan he Danai (Ongoing)

This one reminds me of Tamen De Gushi a lot, BUT…. This one is directed to the life of two women who love each other and what happens in their daily life. The art is much more detailed that TDG, and the characters have very different personalities. Danai, the shorter one, is the more mature one but also the more feminine one while Magan, the taller one, is definitely a fucking cry baby. To be honest, idk how frequently it updates? But!!! Still!! Go watch!!! 11/12

8. What Does the Fox Say? (Ongoing, 2 chapters left)

Ho ly shit whe re to be gin…? Definitely not light. It is not full of fun or fluffy or innocent. This manhwa is dark, sexy, angsty, drama-filled, teeth gritting, and very complicated. VERY, VERY, VERY, Adult. A story with a beautiful young blonde who loves a much older boss, and the much older boss has a shitty ex that everyone loves who fucked up a lot but she has her reasons. This is one of those manhwas that you need to ANALYZE every. single. fucking. scene. It is one of those where each scene MEANS something and you have to keep a sharp eye even at the sex scenes. The art style is good. Not amazing, but decent enough. As I said, it ends in two chapters. It updates twice a month (from my observations). 12/12

*Note: These are all based on my observations

How To Come Out in A Conservative Society

An History Lesson on Ellen DeGeneres and Theories about BTS

First, let me start off by saying that I know this is going to piss off some people. Your precious boys can’t have a bad rumor spread about them, can they? 

Well, fun fact: These rumors about idols have gone on for years, and they still have jobs. The rumors aren’t the problem, because when it comes to LGBT rumors, unlike straight rumors or controversies, Korea readily just accepts them as not possible and so someone can be rumored gay and nothing come from it, unless it was ever confirmed, so again, the rumor isn’t the problem. The lack of acceptance if said rumors are confirmed is the problem, because idols can only work if a company feels they will be able to make money. It is simple economics. If fans are not willing to accept and openly express acceptance, how can we expect a society to? How can we expect companies to feel that their artists have a market? Now I understand Korea has a thing about censorship despite fan reaction. This is a part of the problem, and it is a complicated political setting in which I do not understand and therefore cannot determine the ultimate solution. 

All I can say is this:

Guys, America was not always as accepting as it is now. America did used to be like Korea, and none of the laws for the LGBT were in place. What changed? The people. If you, as fans, are so set on protecting idols that you inherently promote the idea that being LGBT is an issue, even if you don’t mean it that way, you are being problematic to the cause. Discussing it openly allows idols and even companies to see the acceptance among fans, and fans educating other fans about it allows the societies to see the change in the people. You have the power but when you so adamantly push to censor the discussion, you give the power to those who wish to not acknowledge the LGBT. Talking is good, and could really help an LGBT idol feel better about themselves if they are LGBT.

NOW ONTO THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION!

So, BTS wants to visit Ellen. This is very interesting to me, as I have always felt a slight connection of their stories. I have a theory, but you have to actually hear me out to try and understand that this is something legitimate and not just some delusion of grandeur. 

First, how many of you actually know the history behind Ellen?

Well, I am going to assume that a lot of you are younger than me. BTS is younger than me lol. So, in the 90s, Ellen DeGeneres was an American television sweetheart. People loved her. American families watched her all the time. She was really popular. She had her show Ellen, which if you didn’t know, was not the talk show she has now. It was an actual sitcom where she played a character named Ellen. She boldly made the choice ON THE SHOW to have the character come out as a lesbian, and the next day on a talk show, she came out herself.

It was a bold move in the 90′s when LGBT rights were in the shitter. Still, if you look back, she actually was quite clever and strategic. She played the every woman and that’s why families loved her, but you will see hints of her sexuality. She used her medium and talent to subconsciously familiarize her audience with the idea of her being LGBT. It took a lot of work, and trust me, her coming out was not ENTIRELY smooth, but it went quite well. She was one of the few at the time to come out and have her career thrive after. 

She after that managed to have the highest viewed day time talk show that still runs today, a role in one of the most beloved children’s films, Finding Nemo. In fact, a open lesbian having a role like Dory in a children’s film at all was a huge deal. She managed to do all of this and land a deal with JC Penney and Covergirl, and her net worth is 350 million. She even for over a decade remained with her wife Portia, all while her career grew. Sure, along the way there were idiots who condemned her, but most of America loved Ellen.

All from a woman who wore short hair, gender non-conforming fashion, and openly lived as a lesbian in the 90′s. She may not be too shocking to you guys, but she did “look like a lesbian” in what people would have defined (don’t take this as my belief).

How? 

Just being someone everyone can connect to! She was happy and funny and wanted the world to laugh! She showed that LGBT people are just like everyone else. They wanted their rights, and that was all. This is a discussion for an entirely different subject, but I as an LGBT can tell you that while I think people should be accepted and able allowed to behave in the manner they see fit as long as it harms no one, there is value in LGBT who are not defined by the stereotypical “LGBT” behavior and are simply just day by day people who live just like you. Ellen did not over-exaggerate her sexuality’s stereotypical behavior. There is nothing wrong with being flamboyant, but sometimes sadly, the first step to acceptance is to be able to empathize and she was the one to be able to connect to easier, and with time, starting with people like her being accepted, times changed, and now we are seeing acceptances for all forms. It isn’t perfect, and it probably never will be, but it is there. She pushed boundaries, but she did so strategically and it worked for her.

NOW LOL WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH BTS?

Well, if you are familiar with their music, behavior, ethical principles, and the HYYH, then you might see where I am going with this.

Firstly, I would be here for hours if I mentioned all the various moments were they referenced something LGBT or did something related to. There is the Japanese Jungkook fanboy, Glam’s Party XXO, Namjoon’s words about the issue, Yoongi and his fuckery, Troye Sivan ultimate stanning, ‘I Know’ etc, but let me continue with my point.

I feel that BTS are familiarizing their fans with the idea of LGBT within idols. Idols have always had fanservice, and idols have always had ones who professed acceptance. There have even been idols that have hinted towards ideas of LGBT in their art (like Monsta X’s All In) but if ARMYS are correct about the HYYH, there may actually be the first LGBT narrative involving idols (KWill’s Please Don’t featured an LGBT plotline but I am talking about the idol themselves being involved). 

There have been hints that Yoongi and Jungkook within the narrative have a romantic plot. The HYYH Notes give this idea some light. Granted, we could be incorrect, but it does seem to be the case with the narrative text. We will have to see in the future where they take it.The Love Yourself highlights also hint at this. Then, Namjoon’s insistence on Love Yourself: Her being gender neutral. I think this is for a specific purpose as well.

Then there was the photoshoot with Jimin and Jungkook on the same rainbow unicorn float that was used at Korean Pride that same summer. I do not find this coincidental at all. There is a message, and I find that they are trying to send it in a palatable way for fans, which sadly shouldn’t have to happen, but it is the society we live in. There is the fact that they covered a song without changing pronouns, which would be ignored had it not been for the recent Namjoon comments and the fact that the BigHit survey featured more than the two genders. I think they recognize all of this. I think that this is all to familiarize fans with directly associating idol with LGBT. 

They are pushing boundaries, but doing so strategically.

Now, this next part might split some people, because it involves two members together, and I know people get pissy but hear me out. Please note that while you may think I am wrong, if you believe there are other LGBT members, the former discussion still applies.

I think the recent events involving Jungkook and Jimin are not fanservice. They are real events that are used by the two for fans. Let me explain: If they are together, they are spending time together, publicly interacting, and expressing themselves more. They are doing this because they love each other, but this is shown for fans for the purpose I believe of getting fans used to the idea, so that if they did eventually come out, it would not be such a shock. Much like Ellen did. I could be entirely wrong, but I think every moment is genuine and they are just showing it to people they care about to show their love. It can be a gift to fans, but that does not make it fanservice. 

As, I said, take the last two paragraphs away, and my point is still relevant, but I do believe they are utilizing this as a chance for members to come out who would not feel comfortable doing so before. I find at this point in time, the most likely is Jimin and Jungkook.

For sure, Jungkook. I always believed him to be some form of LGBT.

NOW, what does any of this mean? What does the future hold?

Well…

You got me.

If I am correct, and I believe I am, this means that BigHit and BTS will eventually tackle the idea of LGBT head on. I think an issue is with the Korea Unicef program, as it is 2 years long, and Yoongi decided not to get a tattoo to be able to do it, so what makes us think being LGBT wouldn’t be an issue, BUT who knows? They may utilize the fact that they are the current most successful Korean idol artist on a national and worldwide scale to see what can happen. Not changing the language they sing in reaches to their intent for change and being a voice for Korean youth, and utilizing the international fame allows them to bridge the youth they are reaching to with the liberalism of Western media.

The thing is in order to not kill their careers, they have to be big enough to survive it. That is why the first part of my essay is so important. Fans are the key. Our support and votes, and yes, our money, is the key to them being big enough that they are untouchable. That might not ever truly happen but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. If we can have an idol who is LGBT that is as big as them, that can invoke change…

JUST LIKE ELLEN. It takes time. Things didn’t change immediately after her, but damn if life didn’t get more and more progressive. I also credit so many others for that, but this is about them.

Please, take into consideration that I put a lot of thought into this before you brush me off, BUT ultimately this is my opinion. Good Day.

THIS MIGHT BE A REACH BUT I THINK I’M ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

OKAY OKAY SO LISTEN 
There’s a lot of discorse about the new season and that’s understandable BUT I want you guys to look at something with me for a second. 

 I wanna talk about Keith and Lance. We all know Keith’s going through a lot, the blade of marmora is convincing him his own life matters less than the mission, that if he died it would just be for the greater good of the cause. So he’s pulling away, trying to make it so that Voltron doesn’t need him so that he could be… disposable. 

So Keith talks to Shiro and tries to get him to go back to being the black paladin. And *cough cough* fake *cough* Shiro tells him to buckle the heck up and stop whining and just be the black paladin. He doesn’t see, in that moment just what Keith is trying to do. So he gets mad. 

This is a face of pure dissapointment in Shiro. And Keith sees it. He really sees it, and feels it too. But he doesnt know what to do about it.

He’s the lone wolf, right? He doesn’t know how to function in a team properly. In the B.O.M he’s much more independant. Yes, he gets orders and people he goes on with missions but if you really watch most of those missions involve very little teamwork. 

So Keith is pulling away, but at the same time he’s getting the rejection from everyone in the team that’s pushing him away. When he shows up late in the begining of episode one Hunk, Pidge and Lance are super pissed at him, right? 

Right? 

No, go back and look at Lance. He’s not angry. He’s worried. 

Yeah, he says “Are you even taking this seriously?” But think about it. Keith is someone who throws himself into missions. He takes everything he does seriously and he puts a 100% of himself into what he does. He doesn’t half ass things, and it pays off. He gets results. 

Lance is used to seeing Keith do well. At the Garrison he was top of the class, when he was still with Voltron he usually spent his free time training. And now, all of a sudden he’s late to missions, falling behind while he’s the leader. 

Not only that but remember this scene? 

 Again,everyone looks super pissed right? No look at Lance. 

And remember the dialogue? 

Allura:You keep saying you’re sorry but your actions say otherwise. Do you realise that your actions put the entire team in jeoprady? 
Lance: And not Just the team but the refugees too. 

and again, look at his face as he says it. 

He’s not angry. He’s confused there. Think about it. What did Keith tell Pidge when she tried to leave? That other people’s lives were at stake if she left. Keith cares about the people he’s out there protecting. Lance understands that this is not how Keith normally is. 

We know that they got closer in season 3 with Lance opening up to Keith and all and you might even call them friends. Sure he’s not as close as (the real) Shiro is to Keith, but he’s close enough to see Keith isn’t himself. 

But what if… what if Keith did open up. 

I get that this might be somewhat of a reach BUT if you watch Keith’s vlog, it’s very likely he wasn’t alone when he filmed it (he looks like he’s talking to someone off camera. but also tells them to get them out of there. Not only that but the camera turns off and from how emotional he got and the way he was walking its unlikely he turned it off and if you watch Allura’s vlog, she definitely gets closer to turn it off). Now my first thought would be that seeming it’s tech related it would be likely that Pidge would be with him. 

But it doesn’t seem like something that Pidge would be into. Sitting and making vlogs with the paladins. Not her style. 

Okay so maybe Coran? He was the first to upload a vlog, and the camera might be some castle gear? Sounds reasonable enough. But why only be there for Keith’s vlog? Allura was definitely alone during her’s. Also, I dont see them having the kind of bond where Keith would say any of that to Coran. No offense Space unc, we love you. 

OKAY so not Coran or Pidge… so maybe Allura? 

No, the bond isn’t strong enough. As someone who is pretty similar to Keith in defense mechanisms, I don’t see him trusting her to a point where he’s this open with her especially after what happened the last time he opened up about his Galra identity. 

(We all know where I’m going with this, but for argument’s sake; I will keep going. Feel free to skip ahead.) 

Okay so Hunk maybe? He has the tech know-how and stood up for Keith during the whole Galra thing. Even if he did tease him a little… Okay but even then they haven’t really had much bonding since then. I suppose it’s possible if Keith was feeling particularly vulnerable and whatever. But… Would Hunk really bother Keith to make a vlog? and would Keith ask Hunk to help with a vlog? 

It doesn’t really seem in character. Yes, they’re closer but still… not close enough. 

So that leaves Shiro and Lance. First, lets look at why I don’t think it’s Shiro. 

As we know Shiro is someone Keith looks up to. He’s always extremely respectful towards him and it shows in his facial expressions and way of speaking. 

but then look at this; 

Thats not a face Keith would make at Shiro.

You know who he does make faces like that at? 

L A N C E 

So lets think about this. Does Lance have the tech know how? Well he’s always stealing Pidge’s shit so I’mma go ahead and say, yeah to that one. Allura seems equally technically inclined as Lance, so seeming she has no trouble with it that makes sense. 

And even if Keith didn’t ask Lance to help him with his vlog, you know what does seem Lance like? Suggesting Keith makes a vlog. 

So lets asume here, for a moment that Lance knows about Keith’s abandonment issues. That would explain why he looks so worried in the screenshot from before, right? He knows Keith is feeling rejected by his team and he knows that Keith’s behaviour has changed since he started working more with the blade. 

But while they got closer in season 3, and Lance has a better understanding of Keith now, I also think Keith was eager to put some distance between them after that outburst. So he starts working with the blade a lot, right? Meaning Lance hardly sees him. 

So they take a few steps back in their friendship.

And then Kolivan calls Keith to a mission that they all know will be dangerous and look at Lance’s face. 

Yes, you could read it as Lance not wanting his spotlight gone BUT remember that Lance isn’t as shallow as he seems at first glance. He’s not the loverboy he pretends to be and few realise it, but he masks a lot of his emotions. 

Yes, Lance thrives on attention. But do you really think that he would prioritise a show over a mission that could give them a great boost in power? No, this isn’t about the show, this goes deeper. He’s worried. He’s worried about Keith. 

He doesn’t want him to go. He needs him around. But he cant tell him that. Especially not in front of everyone. 

So what does Lance do? 

He makes a stupid argument, its not much, but it’s all he’s got. “We can’t razzle dazzle the crowd with four lions.” 
We need you, I need you. Thats what he’s trying to say. 

And Keith refuses. 

So Lance has that same expression. He’s looking at Shiro in dissbelief this time because he can’t believe he’s letting him go. 

So what we’ve established thus far is the following; 

-Lance definitely feels closer to Keith than he used to. 
-Lance was probably there during Keith’s vlog.
-Lance isn’t as straight forward as people think he is. 
-There’s probably some distance between them right now. 
-Lance has noticed Keith’s change in behaviour. 

So with all that in mind, do you really think Lance doesn’t see that Keith is in a bad place. He knows something is up. He can feel Keith pulling and he’s trying to tell him that they need him around but he doesn’t know how to say it. And then… then Keith tells them he’s leaving. 

yeah, everyone looks sad, but look at Lance. He looks deep in thought. What do you think he’s thinking? He just realised he lost Keith. And he gets it. Suddenly it all makes sense. Keith more or less reforced the bond between Black and Shiro and he was acting strange, showing up late. This is what’s been up with Keith and Lance finally figure out that this whole time, he was losing Keith. 

But he gives it one last try. 

Who am I going to make fun of? 

It’s so much more than a playfull jab. Think about it. Really think about it. 

“Who am I going to make fun of?”

Who am I gonna talk to? 

Don’t go. 

I want you to want me

“Wait, no, let’s take the other corridor.”

“But that will take so much longer!”

“I don’t care. Come on!”

Draco ignored Pansy’s pouting and dragged her along. What were the teachers thinking, hanging up all these mistletoes around the castle? There were so many, it was so hard to avoid them all. Also, it was only November 17th! Couldn’t they at least have waited until December?

Cursing under his breath, Draco turned to the corridor that was still mistletoe-free. Well, at least it had been this morning.

“Oh, come on,” Draco groaned as he suddenly found himself and Pansy standing beneath a gigantic ladder. Filch was on top of it, fumbling with the fateful plant Draco had come to loathe.

Since he was a child, he had been very superstitious. Ignoring the mistletoe wouldn’t do it. It was bad luck. And Pansy knew this very well, judging from her smug expression. She had been taught the same by her parents, but, unlike Draco, she chose to try her luck. At least she usually did.

“Well, go on,” she said, grinning at him. Exhaling loudly, Draco pinched the bridge of his nose.

“This is ridiculous,” he grumbled.

“I’m waiting.” Pansy’s grin only widened when Draco huffed and blew his hair out of his face.

“Alright, alright.” He leaned over to her reluctantly, but panicked, when she suddenly closed her eyes. She couldn’t be serious! Dear Merlin! Hastily, he planted his lips on her left cheek and immediately started walking again. There! Surely that would count!

“Hey! Draco,” he heard Pansy call after him. Nope, he would keep walking! He would keep walking and avoid these bloody mistletoes this time! Getting back to the Slytherin common room couldn’t be that impossible!

“… no, I remember you specifically told me- Ouch!”

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” Rubbing his nose, Draco glowered at the person he had just collided with. The Weasel. With Granger in tow. Magnificent!

You bumped into me,” Weasley said in an accusing tone.

“Whatever, Weasel! Now get out of my-”

“Oh, mistletoe,” Granger interrupted him, pointing at the ceiling.

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Draco looked up, then back at the other two standing in front of him. Oh, damn it!

“Come on, let’s just go,” Granger said, taking Weasley’s hand.

“We can’t,” he whispered. “We have to kiss.” Granger rolled her eyes at him, but Weasley’s face turned serious. “No, we really have to kiss. It’s bad luck if we don’t.”

Huh. Weasley wasn’t as dumb as he looked after all. With an exasperated sigh, Granger pulled him down and kissed him for much longer than was necessary. When Draco cleared his throat, they finally stopped.

“What, you want one, too?” Weasley asked, arching his eyebrows.

“Well, I was standing under the damn thing, too, wasn’t I?”

Understanding hit Weasley’s face and Draco would have loved to take a step forward and slap him. His dumb face was just so infuriating. Before Draco could do anything, however, Granger shoved her boyfriend and he stumbled forward.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Weasley asked, turning his head.

“Well, obviously, you two are the ones with the superstitions. And I already kissed you, so you can go and kiss him.” The way she said it was so nonchalant, it made Draco gape at ther. Okay, so he definitely didn’t want to kiss her. But did she understand how revolting it would be to kiss the Weasel? Well, of course not. She did it willingly. On a regular basis. Yuck!

When Weasley turned back around to Draco, his face was so pale, Draco thought he might faint.

“Ugh, let’s just get this over with,” Draco murmured.

“No, please, Hermione, no, please don’t make me do this!”

“I’m not making you do anything! You were the one who said you have to kiss under the mistletoe.”

“She’s right,” Draco said through gritted teeth. He closed the gap between them and wrinkled his nose. “Just… hold still.” Draco placed both his hands on Weasley’s shoulders and tried to ignore the way his bottom lip was quivering. His lips looked very chapped.This was going to be worse than he had thought!

If he hadn’t already cheated when he had kissed Pansy on the cheek, Draco would have done the same with Weasley. But he couldn’t cheat fate twice in one day! Ugh!

Just a quick peck. Light. Very light. Lips barely touching. Yeah, that wouldn’t be so bad, right? Ugh, if only it weren’t Weasley!

“Merlin, Malfoy, just do it already,” Weasley groaned. Clicking his tongue once, Draco stood up on his toes and gave Weasley the quickest kiss in history of all kisses.

“Ugh! Now excuse me, I need to go wash my mouth,” Draco declared and started hurrying off.

“Ron. Ron? Are you okay? Are you crying? Oh, you’re gagging. Come on, stop it!” Granger’s voice slowly died down behind him as Draco ran down the stairs to the Dungeons. No, wait, he couldn’t walk down that corridor. There were at least three bunches of mistletoe down there. The one on the left had only one. That he knew of. And he’d have to walk through half the castle again. But one was still better than three. Okay then.

As he walked, Draco kept his eyes to the ceiling. He wouldn’t let himself get into another situation like that. Yuck! Weasley! Disgusting! He’d probably never forget it. November 17th, the day he had kissed Ron Weasley. Why? Why??

He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and began running when he spied the bunch of mistletoe he had been dreading. Luckily, no one else was in the corridor. Heaving a sigh of relief, Draco slowed down when he suddenly heard footsteps approaching.

“Potter!” Draco narrowed his eyes. “Wandering the corridors all alone?”

Why couldn’t it have been Potter? Why couldn’t he have bumped into him under the mistletoe? This really wasn’t fair! Draco was doing everything, but still he had the worst luck! This was just infuriating! And honestly, it was kind of Potter’s fault he’d had to endure kissing Weasley. If Potter had been with his stupid friends, it might have gone very differently.

“Why aren’t you with the rest of your little trio? Tired of being the third wheel?”

Potter blinked.

“I am, actually.”

“Oh.”

This was no fun when Potter was being honest.

“What about you? You look a bit ill. Are you okay?”

Draco tried very hard not to think about his lips touching Weasley’s. This would probably haunt him for a very long time. Instead, he rolled his eyes.

“How sweet. Nice to know the Saviour cares.”

Potter was about to respond, when his gaze fell to the ground.

“What’s that?”

Draco followed Potter’s gaze and almost choked. Was that mistletoe? Growing, actually growing out of the cobblestone while they were standing there? But mistletoe usually grew on trees!

“You can’t be serious,” Draco muttered. This was insane. But… he was with Potter. This would be the perfect opportunity to steal a kiss without having to reveal his feelings for the stupid git. “Ugh, can this day get any worse?” Draco moaned. Yes, yes, act like this is the worst thing that could have happened right now! He watched as Potter slowly examined the plant.

“Is that…”

“Yeah,” Draco said, trying to sound as displeased as possible.

“Oh.”

There was a brief silence, in which they both avoided the other’s eyes.

“Well, since we’re not exactly standing under it… Let’s just ignore it,” Potter babbled. Draco’s heart fell. This was his opportunity! Why was Potter being so difficult?

“We can’t just ignore it. It’s bad luck,” he mumbled. He felt so stupid. Potter was probably seeing right through him. From the corner of his eyes he saw the Gryffindor shuffling his feet, while his eyes were still glued to the ground.

“That’s just some stupid superstition, isn’t it?” Potter said with an arched brow.

“It’s not,” Draco insisted. “People… people have died after ignoring it.” It was utter bollocks. And Potter probably knew it. Draco considered just walking away. Potter was right, they weren’t standing under the mistletoe, so the rules probably didn’t apply here.

“Oh.” Potter paused while Draco suppressed the urge to kick the mistletoe.  “Well, if it’s that serious… we better not risk it.”

Draco’s head snapped up. What? Had Potter just… What?

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Imagine Jack spilling to you what Dean thinks, and practically feels, of you when he reads his mind.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” Dean raised a hand, stopping Jack from drinking his beer “How old do you think you are?” he asked, mouth half full as you and Sam shared a look.

“Uh 3 days, 17 hours and 42 minutes.” Jack replied precisely to the question and seeing the look on Dean’s face almost made you choke on your own drink. It was priceless to say the least. Barely at four days old and the young man had already outsassed the older Winchester, well this was going to be fun. Dean just shook his head and took a sip of his beer, Jack watching closely and doing the same at the exact almost moment.

“So-” Jack cleared his throat, looking at you “You are my aunt, right?”

“Uh well-” you smiled “Was, actually. I’m no longer an angel, I fell and after building a vessel things happened and… there is no angel mojo in me anymore. So I am practically human.”

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Canceled Date (Steve Harrington x Female Reader)

Summary: After you had to cancel your date with Steve because you have to babysit your sister, Steve invites himself over and manages to show you a completely different side to him.

Word Count: 2512

Warnings: none, maybe just OOC Steve

Note: First time writing for Steve but ay whatever. I hope you all enjoy! Feel free to tell me what ya think! :)

Originally posted by ilovenarcisse

It wasn’t every night your parents would leave you to take care of your 8 month old sister, but after your father got a promotion at his job, they wanted to celebrate. You really didn’t want to ruin their celebration, so you offered to take care of little Anna for as long as they needed you to.

The only bad part was that you had to cancel your date with your boyfriend. You were dating Steve Harrington, the “King” of the school. He had told he really didn’t care about that title, and it was a bit stupid. You have been dating for at least 3 months, and your parents absolutely adored him, and you like to think his parents adore you too.

Anyway, Steve had been a bit upset when you told him you had to cancel. You were both going to watch a movie at his house since you worked at the theater and didn’t want to be there any longer than you needed to.

“Come on (y/n), we’ve been planning this for a week,” Steve said over the phone, you sighed.

“I know, I know- maybe tomorrow I can come over,” you said, feeling bad. Steve was silent for a moment.

“I’ll let it slide this time, but you have to promise me that we’ll spend the whole day together.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“The whole day?” you asked, you can see him nodding.

“Yup! To make up for all the other times you had to cancel!” You scoffed.

“I only canceled once before this!” you claimed, he hummed.

“All day tomorrow so clear your schedule, babe,” You were silent for a moment, before a smile grew on your lips.

“I’ll get to that…I’m really sorry, Steve,” you apologized again.

“It’s alright (y/n), what are you doing anyway, I didn’t even ask,”

“I have to watch Anna, my parents are going out to celebrate or something,” you shrugged, moving on your stomach, holding your phone against your ear.

“You have to babysit?” he asked, his voice changing suddenly, like he was excited. You nodded as if he could see you.

“Yeah- I’m not canceling on you for no reason,” you laughed, Steve laughed as well. Your heart sped up because you really loved hearing his laugh.

“You know what- our date is not being canceled, tell your parents I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” Your smile fell, and you tilted your head.

“What?”

“You heard me! I’ll be there in ten minutes,” You could just hear him get up, and grab his car keys. You sat up.

“Steve! My parents aren’t going to like it if my boyfriend comes over while they’re gone- they might think-”

“Come on- we’re going to babysit, that’s all! I’ll see you in ten minutes! Love you!” Your jaw dropped. Was he seriously going to come over?

“(y/n)?” his voice broke you out of your thoughts and you shook off.

“I love you too, but if my parents turn you away at the door- don’t blame me!” He laughed, and you did too, before the line went dead.

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Back To School Tips Master Post!

I had a few people asking me to do a back to school tips/ how to do well in school post so here it is. I’m a sophomore in college and an honors student so I plan on sharing the things that have helped me succeed. Even though these tips are things I use now in college, most of them I also used in high school so it can be applied there as well. 

Organization                                                                                                           The most beneficial thing you can do is stay organized.

  1. Get a planner.- I bought mine this year at Walgreens for around $7 but it has a plastic cover so all paper ones are even cheaper. A planner is good for keeping track of when everything is due. When I get my syllabi for my classes I go through them and write down the due dates of homework, essays, tests, etc, on the day they are due. You can color code your classes or just write the class next to the assignment. This way you can look at a whole week and see everything you have due for all of your classes in one place. It’s also easier to add in things or make changes if your professor decides to due so.
  2. Use a white board- I know white boards can be expensive, so if you can’t afford one, expo markers will write on laminated paper which you can get for around $4 on Amazon. I use this to keep on my wall and write the next really important date for each class. So I have all my classes listed on the board and let’s say my next big date in Psych is a test. I’d write that date on the board, then after the test, I’d erase it and write the next important date. These dates should be in your planner as well but it’s nice to have them right in front of you at all times so you don’t turn to the next week in your planner and realize you have a test on Monday. 
  3. Buy durable folders- If you’re going to be using your folders all year make sure they’ll last all year. You want to lose any of your assignments. I get plastic folders at Office Depot for $0.39 a piece. I chose a color for each class and write the class at the top in sharpie and I’m good to go!
  4. Notebooks too!- You’re going to be taking a lot of notes so make sure to keep a notebook for each class as well. Mine were $3 each at Office Depot but they have a plastic cover so if you need to save some money get the paper covers because you most likely wont reuse a notebook.
  5. Get a pack of loose leaf paper- Sometimes you have to turn things in and if you’re like me then you hate tearing it out of your notebook. But if you don’t have a problem with that then don’t worry about it!
  6. Use some sort of bag/backpack- This will help you not lose anything plus you can put water, snacks, etc in it as well!

Study Tips                                                                                                               Tests are often the biggest portion of your grade so knowing the best ways to study will help you out the most. 

  1. Figure out what type of learner you are- This can greatly improve your study skills. There are visual learners; these people learn best with charts, graphs, and anything that show a visual relationship between information. So if you’re this type of person, to help study you could make charts, graphs, tables, draws arrows between points of information, or watch videos. Anything to help you see it. There are also auditory learners; these people learn best when hearing the information. So the best way for these people to study is to recite information out loud, or if your course has an audio book to listen to it. You could also have a friend read information to you and you say it as well. Some people are reading/writing learners; they do best when reading the text and writing down important points/taking notes. This is the type of learner I am so to help me study, I write out my own flashcards, I copy power points into my notes, and as I read my chapters I write the important information.  Something else that is good for these kind of learners is to make little quizzes for yourself. There are also kinesthetic learners; they learn best with more hands on activities. This can be hard to do especially with some subjects. If you can physically do what you’re studying then do it. If not, make a game out of it. For example, ask yourself questions and if you get it right take a shot at a basketball hoop or a soccer goal (if you don’t have these things use a paper ball and your trashcan or anything you can substitute. Figuring out which learner you are will greatly improve how you study.
  2. Don’t wait until right before a test- Cramming your brain with all the information a few days before a test will not help you remember and only stress you out. This is called Massed Practice and is proven to be a waste of time and information is not retained well. Study a little everyday or every other day. This is called the Spacing Effect and is proven to improve retention and recall of information. So it is best to do short sessions of study over a long period of time rather than a long session all at once.
  3. Find a good place to study- If you like quiet places and your house/dorm is too loud go to a library or outside if it’ s a nice day.  If you like a lot of background noise play some music or go to a coffee shop.

Overall Tips                                                                                                            These tips are still really important but I don’t have enough that fit together to make another header.

  1. Work on what’s due first- Some people think it’s always best to work on the important things first but that’s not always the case. If your essay is due in two weeks and you have an assignment due in a few days then finish the assignment first. You’ll still have plenty of time for your essay. I suggest doing all your work but if something happens to where you just can’t then yes do the more important thing because it’ll be a bigger part of your grade.
  2. Writing Centers- A lot of colleges/universities have writing centers.  If you’re not the best at writing or just need some help you can make an appointment at the writing center where someone highly qualified in writing will read your paper/essay and help you with grammar, punctuation, idea flow, overall organization etc. I highly suggest checking to see if your school has one of these.
  3. Check your email/Blackboard/whatever your professor uses- This is where they may add extra assignments/ cancel class and not mention it in class. It’s always important to check.
  4. Try to relax- I know it can be hard, especially for students with depression, anxiety, and other mental/physical illnesses but it’s important to always take a moment and calm down. Take breaks from your work and do something you enjoy for at least a few minutes everyday. If you need a nap, take a nap. just set an alarm to pick back up on your work later.
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect- This is still something I’m working on myself but getting better at. Last semester I got a B for the first time since my sophomore year of high school and it bothered me to no end. But, I told myself I did my best, and as a person with bad social anxiety I’m okay with my B in public speaking. So for anyone else who feels like they have to keep their 4.0 all 4 years, don’ t panic if you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with not being perfect, almost no one graduates college with a 4.0. Always do your best, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I cannot stress this enough.
  6. Take classes you enjoy- Hopefully you’re in a major that you enjoy so you wont hate your classes too much but it’s still important to try to take a fun class every once in awhile. If you like art, take an art class. Then, you’re still doing work but also doing something you like.
  7. Get a tutor- If you’re not doing as well in a class as you would like, don’t be afraid to get a tutor. Most universities offer tutors who are students that would love to help you and wont be judgmental at all. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little extra help and tutors are often people who have already passed the class with an A so they’ll be very good resources.
  8. Take care of yourself- Overall, make sure you’re eating well and drinking water throughout the day. Sometimes it’s impossible, but try to get enough sleep. If you go out to party watch out for yourself and others. Practice self care and if things get too stressful and you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

I know this post is very long, but I wanted to share everything I could for anyone who wanted help. If I think of anything else I’ll definitely add it later. I hope everyone has a great semester and school year! Good luck to everyone!

nochu unsolved (m)

Pairing:  Jungkook x Reader
Genre: boyfriend!jungkook , smut, comedy, fluff
Warnings: thigh riding, dry humping, panty fetish, creampie, graveyard sex, mention of past emo Jungkook lmao
Word Count:  8k+
Summary:  cryptid hunting with your boyfriend doesn’t go quite as planned…

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What I Learned From University

FIRST YEAR

  • Everyone is super friendly, especially in the first few weeks → Introduce yourself to the people sitting near you for the first few weeks of lectures. Everyone is looking for a friend or at least someone to talk to!!
  • If you commute, make that time productive → My bus ride was an hour there and back each day. It sucks but I would try to be productive for at least half of the commute. I have a post about being productive on public transport here.
  • On that note, stay on campus as long as possible each day → As soon as I got back home I would procrastinate every little thing. Stay in an already productive environment for as long as possible.
  • Maybe don’t buy your textbooks used → I thought I was being smart by buying used textbooks (most schools will have a buy and sell facebook page for textbooks). I ended up having to pay for access codes in order to do my online homework – access codes that cost ~$70 separately and came included with new textbooks anyways. Email your prof or talk to someone who has recently taken the class to find out if you need an access code. If you do, your best bet is to buy a new version of the textbook (unless you can get a seriously cheap used textbook).
  • Print off your timetable and find all of your classes before the first day → This helped me so much! I found exactly where all my classes were before the first day of class. I wrote down little tricks to help me remember where everything was (i.e. my calc lecture is in the arts and science building which is also where the only subway on campus is).
  • Don’t knock living at home to save money → If you’re lucky enough to have a college or university close to home at least consider living at home. Getting your own place or living in dorms is expensive. (But if you have to find off campus housing on your own, don’t leave it too late or you might not find a place)
  • Figure out the best way to take notes for each class → You have to customize the way you study for each class, all depending on the prof and the content. I hand-wrote notes for some classes (chem, calc, and physics), but not others (psych and bio). If you’re writing by hand you can always just annotate your textbook notes or lecture slides (if they’re posted before class). If you fall behind while taking notes, just leave a gap and check out a friend’s notes after class.
  • Adjust your expectations → Don’t expect to get straight A’s, like you might have in high school. You can strive for straight A’s but be realistic as time goes on. For classes I struggled with, I expected to be near the class average. If I was a lot lower than the class average then I would know to invest more time.
  • Make time for physical activity → If we’re being honest I hardly exercised during uni. Go for at least a half hour walk each day and try to start a physical activity routine. Get a friend and join a sports team, go to a fitness class, or commit to some form of a daily workout with them! You’ll feel bad bailing on someone else, plus working out is more fun with other people.
  • Review content throughout the semester → Reviewing little bits of content will save you a massive content review right before finals! Look through old notes while you wait for your daily coffee or take 15 minutes to watch some khan academy videos on stuff you learned in the first month of classes.
  • Think seriously about how much you can handle → Don’t take on too many responsibilities at once and consider all of your options! I worked weekends and some week nights throughout the school year. Looking back I should have worked less because my stress levels were way too high. Also, quite a few people I talked to took 4 classes instead of 5, for their first semester of university. I don’t think I would have done it, in the end, but it’s always something to consider.
  • Have fun but be responsible at parties → Always go to parties with people you trust!! If you didn’t do much partying/drinking during high school (like me), remember to pace yourself when drinking! Eat before you go out and have some water between each drink, till you find your limit. Don’t let yourself be peer-pressured into anything but also don’t be afraid to have fun! And check out if your uni has a safe walk program (someone will come and walk you back to your dorm or your car if you feel unsafe or nervous for any reason)
  • When procrastination hits, aim to be productive in some way → The only reason my biology mark was so high was because I would study biology whenever I got sick of studying for physics and calculus. If you know you need to study but just can’t do it, start by being productive in some other way – study a subject you do like, do your laundry, organize your study area, etc. Get your brain to start thinking productively.
  • Labs are difficult so be prepared → I had so many labs first year. Some tips: eat and hydrate before labs, never assume you can finish your prelab last minute, be nice to your lab partner, always remember lab safety (don’t be the person trying to wear shorts in the lab, TAs will not hesitate to kick you out), don’t rush through an experiment but be efficient, and ask for help (even if you feel like you’re bothering your TA).
  • Please go to bed early. Sleep affects everything → I was so dumb and would never go to bed early even though I had to be up at 6 am almost every day to catch the bus. Lack of sleep will catch up to you eventually!! Also, all nighters are not necessary, unless you make them necessary. I prioritized and never had to stay awake too late. And never pull an all nighter the night before an exam (you’re better off getting sleep and resting your brain).
  • Bring a water bottle everywhere → Buy a decent water bottle and always carry it with you. Even though my uni is small there are still tons of spots around campus where I can refill my water bottle!! Stay hydrated my friends!
  • A practice problem a day keeps the F away → This saying probably works best for science classes, but I guess a reading a day will get you somewhere too. Do something for every class each day, even if it’s just a practice problem or a quick reading. Develop a routine!
  • You’ll have lots of midterms → I was under the impression that midterms happened just once a semester (I thought I would have one week where I had a midterm for each class). That was not my reality. I had 2 or 3 midterms for each of my classes scattered throughout the semester. Study really hard for your first set of midterms till you get used to the high expectations!
  • Don’t worry about what other people are doing or thinking → This is mostly in regards to social media. I was bummed when I looked back on my first year of university, because I felt like I hadn’t done anything fun compared to other people. You only see the image that other people want you to see. You don’t know how hard someone worked or how hard they didn’t work. Just focus on you and how you can affect positive results in your life.
  • Other people literally don’t care about your appearance → My friend’s little sister visited campus and asked us “Why is everyone wearing sweatpants?” People literally don’t care. Dress nice and put lots of makeup on one day, because you feel like it, and wear sweats the next day.
  • Start essays and reports as soon as possible → You never know what might come up so be prepared for the worst! Outline your essay or graph your data as soon as you can.
  • Eat healthy and do meal prep → You can eat healthy during university! Set aside a couple of nights each week to do meal prep. Cook food in bulk to save money and don’t eat out too much. Try to have at least 1 serving of fruits or veggies with each meal or snack you eat!
  • Find a good study spot on campus → Explore your campus and figure out your favourite places to study. I had a couple of spots where I would always meet my friends to study and quiet spots where no one would bother me. Studying outside or in an area with natural light is always good.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk to your profs and TAs → This is the number one thing I’m going to try to do more of in my second year. TAs are chill to talk to and they can tell you tons of useful information on what upper year classes are like, which professors are good, why they chose to go to grad school, etc. If you’re struggling in lectures or labs, talk to your prof or TA! Make an appointment and be sure you can tell them exactly which concepts you’re struggling with or at least where you got lost. One of my profs told us he just waits hopefully during office hours for someone to come in. (Also profs love it if you ask them about their research or any topics they seem passionate about during lectures.)
  • Explore all the resources your university has to offer → My university has a program that is basically people bringing their dogs around for students to pet, in order to relieve stress. It actually works and gave me something to look forward to! Just be aware of your options so that if something in your life changes you know where you can go to ask for help.
  • Get a planner and utilize it → There’s no excuse not to have a planner of some sort. Use your phone, get a bullet journal, or buy a cheap planner. Have somewhere where you can record important deadlines and make to do lists. I also recommend back planning all of your studying at the beginning of the semester. Write down your midterms and finals dates and write down how much you’re going to study each day leading up to the exam. This way you’ll be able to look ahead at each month and figure out what needs to be done (i.e. getting an essay done early because the due date falls during a busy week of midterms)

This post ended up being a lot longer than I expected whoops. Take the things I said into consideration but remember that everyone’s experience will be different. Good luck to everyone heading to university!


My Other Posts:

Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty: The Hardest Nihilistic Show to watch and the easiest Nihilistic Show to watch

Bojack Horseman is such a weird show for me.

It’s like I need to set a time weeks, or years in advance to sit down and watch it. I’ve only watched the show once but it is so philosophical and life changing and depressing and deep, it’s like I have to set out emotional time out of my day to pick a moment to watch it.

I’ve only watched it once and once was enough to change my entire outlook on life and look at my life from a new angle. 

Where as Rick and Morty is a Nihilistic show too, there are way more laugh out loud moments and tends to make fun of Nihilism. The characters can be deep, while being shallow at the same time. They can be very aware they are in a show. Saying things like: “Was he doing a bit?” things I don’t hear in modern english unless I’m hanging with the theater kids.

A thing that Rick and Morty achieves perfectly with it’s humor is the art of Schadenfreude. Or “Taking pleasure/enjoyment/humor from the suffering of others.” Every single deep moment in Rick and Morty is usually accompanied with a sad or intense song, that you can take in as Horribly deep and depressing, while being hilarious at the exact same time. 

I will take an example from Season One. 

Kind of a spoiler, but this happens very early in season one. It’s like the halfway point of season one, just to establish this show doesn’t fuck around.

The jist of it, is that Rick and Morty ruined the world so badly, that they went to a different universe. A different reality where they died around this time. Accompanied by sad music is Morty coming to grips that everything around him isn’t real and it’s an entirely new reality. Leaving behind a damaged and broken world. And he has to bury his own corpse. So every event in the previous episodes are reconnected or might of not happened in this reality. 

What makes this a very emotional intense scene and an extremely funny one is how juxtaposed Morty is to this compared to everyone else around him. Morty is having an existential crisis about everyone he left behind, meanwhile Reality doesn’t care. Rick grabs a drink, Summer Texts on her phone, his mom and dad argue on the cusp of divorce. Nothing changed. Life goes on. 

I remember the first time I saw this scene when it aired on TV, it blew my mind, while also making me laugh at the same time.

That’s because the show makes it clear Reality doesn’t care about Morty’s extensional crisis. You can take pleasure in his suffering while making it tragic and realistic but funny at the same time. 

And a majority of every emotional scene in Rick and Morty is like this.

There is a moment in season 2 where one character attempts suicide, and while it’s framed in a serious manner, it is also hilarious. It’s not that the show makes fun of suicidal people. (like a tasteless joke in some other adult shows) The inner turmoil is shown and portrayed very seriously. What makes the scene funny, is while the character lies still and alone all night after his failed suicide attempt, the Pathetic Father character Jerry, comes into the foreground, with his weed wacker. A trivial thing he was complaining about the whole episode. Without noticing the character’s pain. “Life goes on. Nobody cares.” Which is seriously sad and funny at the same time.

As I said  Schadenfreude. “Nobody cares. Might as well laugh about it” 

Bojack Horseman has it’s share of funny moments too, it’s writing style in similar format to the Simpsons and typical satire. 

But the comedic moments are usually far away from it’s serious moments.

They have their moments of  Schadenfreude as well. Such as small #relatable moments that make me laughing my ass off due to the delivery. Cause I’m sure many can relate to procrastinating and being lazy as hell on a project or having friends kick your pathetic ass to actually do something.

But when the show wants to get deep, the humor stays far away from the realism. 

There are also suicide attempts in this show as well. And while Rick and Morty can take a look in the mirror and laugh at itself. Like “Nobody cares, might as well laugh about it” This show seems to say: “Life is horrible, we are horrible people, if we don’t take power within ourselves to change. nobody cares. Deal with it.”

Which it a heartbreaking but raw realistic message.

Which is why I only watched the show once and am postpoing watching the newest season as long as I can.

The show is raw, it doesn’t hold back and every deep emotional moment has no comic relief moment to recover.

It lets you breathe in the heavy atmosphere and deal with every screw up the main character commits. 

It’s like if an adult cartoon character had real world negative consequences for his horrible behavior. Friends abandon him, forgiveness is optional, and people die because of a direct result of the main character.

A lot of the problems with myself and with my generation as a whole is that we tend to dissolve blame for things that we are directly at fault for. I know we tend to point fingers at the Baby Boomer generation or society a lot, but pointing fingers doesn’t really help things get better. If you just want to whine and not inspire change. You have to look deep inside yourself and find the will to change.

Something that both shows preach.

“The thing about repairing, maintaining and cleaning is, it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just…. work. And the truth of the matter is that, some of us are okay with going to work, and well, some of us rather die. Each of us gets to choose.” 

I love Bojack Horseman and I love Rick and Morty. But one is way more easier to watch then the other. I know a lot of people on tumblr are comparing both shows, but to me, they are equal in greatness, just take a very different approach to the same subject mater. 

I will get to watching Season 4 of Bojack Horseman some day. But not where I’m at right now. 

I am glad I read a few therapy books before watching bojack horseman and rick and morty so I wasn’t too mindblown by the messages portrayed.

your love could start a war

billy hargrove x reader

words: 1303 (this one got long idk i love dacre’s face)

warnings: language, fighting

request:  Could you do an Imagine where Billy flirts with the reader and he’s like a dick to everyone else but her and he even kicks someone’s ass because the person tried to flirt with the reader. Like not as aggressively as his fight with Steve at the end. Thanks if you do it :)

Billy Hargrove had a reputation. It wasn’t a good one, as most saw him as kind of a dick. His ‘fuck you’ attitude and disregard for what people thought of him, most of Hawkins wasn’t quite sure how to feel about him. Most were intimidated, trying to fly under his radar. But you never really understood why.

You’d only ever seen him as caring and kind since the first day you met him. He was always more concerned of you than himself. He gave you a sea of compliments, no matter how many times you told him to stop, and was the first person you called when you just needed something. From the first day you met him, he was nothing but the most amazing guy in the world, it was hard to think of him as otherwise. He always sat with you at lunch on the same bench every day, even though it wasn’t his lunch period. You sat on the bench now, basking in the sunlight and waiting for him.

“How’s my favorite girl?”

Keep reading

Time to float - Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Title: Time to float

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompts: If you’re taking requests for Bill Skarsgård can you write one where the reader is a famous actress and also little Jackson Scott’s big sister (the kid who plays Georgie) so she attends the premiere with him wearing a stunning dress as usual, she meets Bill who is awestruck bc hes a huge fan with a massive crush on her, the kids who played in the movie myb tease him a little bit, and she’s flattered and thinks hes adorable idk i like this idea 
— 
YN is Jackson older sister and Bill is her fan!so when he finds out he tries his best to get Jackson to introduce them,and when he does,Jackson can’t help and teels big sis that Bill has a crush on her and he’s just super adorkable to admit! later they all say that on an interview,and the kids love to make fun of them

“Jackson please don’t run! Be careful, sweetie, you’re gonna-” you stopped yourself when you heard you little brother giggle and you realized what you’d just said “Oh gosh I am turning into mom!” you breathed out, eyes wide.

Your little brother ran back to you, wrapping his small arms around your legs and you looked down to be met with his adorable smile “Yes you are! But I am always going to love you the most! More than mom and dad, and more than anyone else in the world!” he said and you giggled.

“And you will always be the number one man in my heart, JR!” you leaned down to pick him up and kiss his cheek as he wrapped his arms around your neck with a big smile.

“Even before dad?” he asked and you grinned, nodding your head.

“But we’re not gonna tell him that, because it’s gonna break his heart.” you pouted, and he giggled.

“You bet it will!” your father piped in, saying with a serious nod and you laughed with Jackson as he kissed your cheek before going to help your mother.

“And… even more than him?” he said with what was supposed to be a smirk on his face and you chuckled, tickling his belly.

“You sly little tease!” you grinned as he squirmed in your arms “Alright, maybe I really do like him a little bit but-”

He rolled his eyes so dramatically at you and shook his head “A lot!”

Keep reading

Sweeter Than Candy

Originally posted by mikkeljensen

Prompt: i’m sick on halloween but told you to go have fun at the party anyway but instead you surprised me with a blanket fort, tons of candy and all my favourite scary movies
Word Count: 985
Rating: T
A/N: A lot of people are starting to like Steve in season 2, which I am angry about because I’ve been in love with him since the first time I saw him. But yeah, more Steve love though! Special thanks to @keithstellations for being a lifesaver.


Out of all the days that you could’ve been sick, it had to be on Halloween. You really shouldn’t have wimped out of getting a flu shot.

You sighed and sneezed, lazily slumping down on your couch surrounded by tissue boxes and uneaten sweets, while watching various trick or treaters swear at the doorstep when no came to give them candy. Unsurprisingly, the rest of your family members had their own plans on Halloween and decided to leave you. Alone. Some family, huh?

Your plan was just to keep wallowing and sulking when suddenly, the phone rang from across the room. You mentally groaned at how far away it was before pushing yourself to get up. After taking what felt like a million sluggish steps to the phone, you answered it with a snotty, “Hello?”

“Y/N? Where are you? I’ve been trying to find you everywhere,” Steve paused, and you panicked when you heard what he said next. “You didn’t forget about the party, did you?”

“It’s not that, Steve, I’m just,” you stopped to blow your nose, quickly disposing the napkin. “Sick. Like my-head’s-so-hot-I-can’t-see-straight sick. I’m really sorry.”

You heard nothing but silence on the other linefor a while, then Steve finally spoke up, panic and concern clearly audible in his tone. “You’re sick?! How come you didn’t tell me? Great, now I have to go find Dustin’s old fever kit. Wait shit, I think that’s at Max’s house. Hold on, I’m coming-”

“Steve, no! Go have fun at the party. Please. I don’t need anyone here. I’d feel better if I knew you had fun. I’ll be okay!” You pleaded, twirling the phone’s cord as you did so. You knew it would be hard to convince him, but you had to try.

“Fine. At least tell me there’s someone else with you.” You smiled, despite yourself. He really cared. But now you realized that if you told him that you were alone, surely he would come rushing over.

“Uhhh… yeah… there’s someone with me here.” Trailing off, anyone could see that you were most likely lying. “Steve…”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Steve.”

That son of a bitch hung up. Despite this, you grinned. Steve was probably, scratch that, the best boyfriend ever.

Just like he promised, you heard his car pull up to the curb several minutes later, and once again you forced yourself to get up and get the door just as he was about to ring the doorbell. Steve stood there, armed with pillows and a bunch of bags, smiling brightly at you. “Surprise.”

You rolled your eyes but let him in, watching him trudge through you humble abode while carrying what seemed like a thousand bags. Chuckling, you asked, “Are you staying the night or preparing for a war?”

Steve sighed, looking around your living room and the piles of tissues and candy. “Maybe both.”

You were about to go help him with his stuff when he quickly stopped you, leading you back to your couch. Before you could resist, he looked at you with eyes that told you it would be unwise to get up, while piling blankets on top of you to make sure you wouldn’t get away. “Nope. Not gonna happen. You need to get some rest.”

“But-”

“Y/N.” You finally gave in, but not before voicing your discomfort and mumbling how you felt like a child. He quickly rearranged your blankets, then pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Better?”

“Much better.”

From then on, you drifted in and out of sleep, often only waking up when Steve came over to change the cloth on your forehead or to check you temperature. He seemed to be hard at work on something, since you could hear his swears and attempts to get something to work. Once, you even heard him drop something, causing him to wince in pain.

Then Steve came back, carefully lulling you back awake, then took you gingerly to what he had been working on. His hand grasped yours gently, looking back to check if you were okay several times. You had to tell him you were okay a couple hundred times.

Finally, Steve opened the door to your bedroom, and you gasped, looking at him in surprise and gratitude. Your room seemed to have been transformed. There was a blanket fort in the corner, a bunch of candy lying by its side and right across from it, the television from your basement played your favourite scary movie. So that was what he was trying to carry. You smiled gleefully, turning around to embrace Steve with the warmest hug you could muster. “Did you know you’re the best boyfriend ever?”

Steve chuckled playfully, returning your hug and carrying you over to the blanket fort. “Well, I have been told that a couple times here and there.”

You huddled closer to him as he sat next to you, handing him a bowl of popcorn you found on your nightstand. He tossed it up in the air, catching it in his mouth as it fell out. You laughed, since he usually failed when he tried to do that. For a while, you both just stayed there, watching horribly made scary movies and eating candy that you probably shouldn’t be eating. You felt warm, but it wasn’t because of the sickness. It was because of Steve.

Sun signs according to people I’ve met

Aries

Usually very motivated and energetic, they have a really strong aura around them. I admire them a lot, they seem like cool people and may seem intimidating but are super nice in person! Protective of their loved ones. Goals in terms of swag and athleticism they got. Teach me how to carry myself like you please.


Taurus

The cutest, most amazing (even if a bit stubborn) friends. Best partners for getting food or watching a movie together. Taurus boys are my cryptonite, Taurus girls are the loves of my life. They are very much real in a sense of being human. Sensual, chill and true, really “earthy”. Fake isn’t in their vocabulary. Seriously I know quite a few Tauruses and I love them all to death. Only problem is when we disagree on something major, neither will back down from the argument.


Gemini

I always lowkey hate on them, but they aren’t all that bad; Conversations with them are the most fun, and when I am with them I never get bored; I know a lot of male Gemini’s and no female ones sadly; in general they are nice people but usually fuckboys. Probably wouldn’t date one (but flirting with them is a lot of fun). Good sense of humour.


Cancer

Being a Cancer myself I tend to be drawn to a specific type of Cancer females on social media. Those are the The Moms, their entire vibe is really soft and warm and motherly but also protective and strong. We will cook you dinner because we love you. We are good cooks in general. Foul mouths and will fight you any time. Pretend to be edgy, but we usually aren’t. Crying over our partner (or lack of) all the damn time but usually in private.


Leo

Ughh. Leo females are okay but Leo males? They annoy me to no end and I always bicker with them, but at the same time they are usually really charming so :/. Lowkey hate them and their inflated ego but they are good friends which I appreciate. Loud and sooo in your face but loyal and can take you to the most bizarre and amazing places. Overall infuriating 0/10 do not recommend. (Jk)


Virgo

Okay, so I am biased, but Virgos are literally perfect human beings. They are smart, logical, neat and polished and just ugh. Especially females are really classic beauties with killer fashion sense. Overall all genders seem to have a feminine vibe? It’s sooo hard to get them even remotely interested in you but it’s worth it in the end. Can push you to be the best version of yourself. They can literally step on me. Heart eyes motherfucker.


Libra

Oookay, so. Libras are weird, man. It’s hard to dislike them, because they can be so nice but you never know if they are real nice or fake nice. Seems like usually fake tho. They are super gorgeous, in a very luxurious way and their lives are the true aesthetics. First impression is that they are pretty shallow, but I wouldn’t assume that about people without knowing them.


Scorpio

Damn I love Scorpios! Deep af, people I can talk to about my deepest thoughts, discussing occult stuff, cry on their shoulders or just hug it all out m8. I feel super comfortable with them. Best partners for planning an assassination on your ex (or Trump) tbh. Aesthetics on point as well. I am living for that mysterious grunge shit vibe. You go my bros.


Sagittarius

Don’t hate me for this, but the only sign I usually cannot stand to keep close are Sags. They are amazing conversationalists with the sharpest minds out there and interesting points of view. Talking to them about basically any topic can take hours and not get boring, and you could take them for an adventure for a week and it would be the best choice. But longterm relationship or friendship? Nah. I do not trust.


Capricorn

I have a lot of Capricorn women in my life and I admire them so much. They are so hardworking, punctual and they sacrifice themselves for their loved ones everyday, in every way. Also their love is so good and true, damn. The Cap stereotype is that they are bad with feelings but I strongly disagree. One of the most amazing signs out there. Protect them and treasure them.


Aquarius

Aw my favourite aliens. Just kidding. They are often misunderstood I think, but they are actually super cool. They are not afraid of being different and that’s a really admirable trait imo. Also the best partners for sharing your conspiracy theories with. If you feel like they just walked all over you, they probably didn’t mean it, they just don’t realize it sometimes? The most interesting people to keep around, if you can tolerate their cold exterior.


Pisces

Damn you Pisces. Why you all gotta be so unpredictable. I know a great deal of Pisces people and each of them is so different, it is simply impossible to categorize them in any way lol. My brother is a confident social butterfly. One of my friends is an aesthetics grunge queen with a lot of sadness inside. My other friend is pretty shy and introverted with a lot of super weird quirks (probably the only one fitting the usual Pisces category). Another one is a typical nerd who is however pretty choleric and fake on the inside. And another one was the spawn of satan and literally the ugliest and most selfish person I know. What even are Pisces lmao.

***Nearly 3 weeks into the hiatus and I am missing Magnus and Alec desperately. Matthew Daddario voice: *When is it gonna end?” Siiigh. But well, what better way to spent the hiatus then reading some great Malec fanfics, right? Right. Because I have read a lot of amazing fics incl. discovering some great new authors. And now that autumn is coming…. the perfect time to read more.

Also, I am overwhelmed how many notes the last rec post got and how much you all enjoy(ed) it. So I hope this 5th edition will get a lot of love, too. Again, let me know if you liked this and if I should continue doing this. But now, have fun reading, pumpkins.***


FALL WITHOUT WINGS by @notcrypticbutcoy [ M | 144k | WIP ]

Alec has been told the same stories all his life. He’s been taught the same lines, over and over again. Downworlders are reckless, impulsive, demonic. They’re not to be trusted.

And Magnus Bane is the epitome of everything evil about Downworlders.

At least, that’s what people keep telling him. Alec’s not quite so sure anymore.

Or: In which the Nephilim have wings, are taught to loathe Downworlders, and Alec is presented with a conundrum when Magnus Bane saves his life.


HOLDING THE STICK by @baneismyexistence​  [ M | AU | 80.3k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood has dreamed of hoisting Lord Stanley since he was eight. It’s in his blood. He’s spent the last five years trying to make that dream a reality, only managing to fall short each time.

Until a scandal leads to a multi-team trade that sends Magnus Bane his way. One of the top performing wingers in the league. An up and coming star.

And the most handsome man Alec has ever met.

He’s doomed.


STRANGE LOVE by arandomfan91 [ M | AU | 46.6k | complete ]

Alec is in love with Magnus. Magnus needs Alec to be his fake boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?


STRANGE LOVE - EXTRAS by arandomfan91 [ T | AU | 13.8k | complete ]

Missing scenes and chapter re-writes from Strange Love, all told from Magnus’ POV.

These extras are tied in with the fic Strange Love. You should read that story first before reading this!


FOOLS RUSH IN by @m-aleciseverything [ M | AU | 85.2k | complete ]

Alec, Jace, and Simon go to Vegas for Jace’s bachelor party and things get a little bit ridiculous.

Alec wakes up the next morning and…wait a minute, who’s that in his bed?


AND THE OSCAR GOES TO… by @lecrit  [ E | AU | 21.5k | complete | Stars Aligned #1 ]

Working for Magnus isn’t easy. Magnus is out of control and Alec has to yell more often than not to get him to listen to him. He hates everything formal because it means he has to watch his mouth. Most importantly, Magnus is an incorrigible flirt.

Which would be alright if Alec wasn’t utterly, irremediably, unfathomably in love with him.


IT’S ALWAYS YOUR MOVE by @lecrit  [ E | AU | 15.5k | complete | Stars Aligned #2 ]

Maryse Lightwood is fierce, determinate and she is standing right in front of Magnus, on the threshold of his house, the scowl on her face announcing nothing good.

Magnus hasn’t seen her since the Oscars ceremony three days ago. To be fair, he hasn’t really seen anyone, too busy that he had been catching up on lost time with Alec.

Magnus thought he could be tranquil forever after winning an Oscar and finally confessing his feelings to Alec. Magnus was wrong.


WALK OF FAME by @lecrit  [ M | AU | 13.5k | complete | Stars Aligned #3 ]

Alec is fairly certain he is the luckiest man in America. On earth. Possibly in the entire universe.

He slowly started to convince himself of the now indisputable fact when Magnus and him started dating a year ago after the ceremony that crowned Magnus as King of the World (or Best Actor, but Alec isn’t always objective when it comes to his boyfriend).
A lot happened in a year, and Alec knows eventually the wheel is bound to spin and his luck might dim and vanish but as of now, he still feels like the luckiest man on earth, and he is going to make the most of it for as long as it lasts.


CATCHING THE LOVE BUG by @daddariossmile [ M | AU | 3.5k | complete ]

In which the Lightwood siblings always end up in the hospital, Alec spends a lot of time waiting around, and the charming Dr. Bane is more than a little attractive. 


SYMPATHY FOR THE PRINCE by @ketzwrites [ M | AU | 31.9k | complete ]

Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, was tired of his life in Hell. Every day was the same; condemned souls being punished for their wrong doings, demons feasting on the worst humanity had to offer, two or three deals with a few greedy humans. It was dull, uneventful. Boring.

So Magnus packed his bags and moved to New York City. As the owner of the lavishing club Pandemonium at the heart of Manhattan, Magnus enjoyed a life without worries for five years, until the fateful night where a former client was murdered on the streets.

It was then that he met no-nonsense Homicide Detective Alec Lightwood, owner of incorruptible morals and the tightest ass Magnus has ever seen. Earth was fun, after all.


TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS… by @baneandgone [ G | AU | 2.4k | complete ]

alec works in a coffeeshop. one day jace hijacks the chalkboard out front

(aka one of those ‘today your barista is’ sign aus)


THIGH HOLSTER by @everydayisonfire [ E | PWP | 2.2k | complete ]

Magnus doesn’t get distracted by a certain Shadowhunter, wearing a tight thigh holster.
Nope. Absolutely not.


ON THE SUBWAY by The_Forgotten_Nobody [ G | AU | 1.4k | complete | On The Subway #1 ]

Confused, Magnus followed Rafael’s line of site to the opposite side of the train where a young man sat, pulling silly faces. However, the moment he realised Magnus was staring his face flushed and he stopped, averting his eyes as if he hadn’t just answered all of Magnus’ prayers. In more ways than one as well because not only had he calmed Raf down but he was gorgeous.


MR LIGHTWOOD, MR BANE by TruePlainHearts [ E | PWP | 2.2k | complete ]

“Lovely to see you, Mr Lightwood.”

“And you, Mr Bane. Thank you for taking the time.”

*****

The kinky, shameless smut that occurs right after the rest of the clan leaders leave. Magnus and Alec make excellent and creative use of Alec’s new office and its expansive mahogany desk… and its sturdy door.


MR. LIGHTWOOD by @nanf1c​ [ M | 1.2k | complete ]

A ‘no kissing, looking at suggestively or touching’ rule was applied when it came to Magnus and Alec at the downworlder meeting. Magnus respected that, respected his man, and tried his best as soon as he walked through the doors of the institute. But now, back in his loft, with the night fallen and Alec returning through the front door from a demon attack, looking battered and exhausted, Magnus couldn’t help but keep the game going.


YOU HAVE ME by @hufflebee​ [ G | 664 | complete ]

They stay on the balcony for a while, listening to the sounds of New York at night. Alec noticed the glasses and the discarded pillows when he walked in, but he doesn’t want to break the comfortable silence they’ve fallen into. He looks over at Magnus, and by the angel, he looks beautiful, breathtaking. but the longer Alec watches him, the more he can see the makeup and hair and the clothes for what they really are.

An armour.


PARADISE IN BETWEEN by Teumessian [ E | 7.8k | complete | The Boundless Saga #4 ]

In the months following the loss of the Mortal Cup, anxieties run deep. It’s no time for a vacation, and yet… Magnus has had a lot of years to practice the art of persuasion.


WITH MY BODY AND SOUL, I WANT YOU MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW by liamandzayn [ E | PWP | 4.3k | complete ]

Alec captures the defined line of Magnus’ jaw between eager yet clumsy fingers, tilting his face upwards as they gasp into each other’s mouths, exchanging fevered gusts of breath. Magnus seizes the swollen flesh of Alec’s bottom lip with gentle teeth, nipping gingerly, suckling with avid hunger and Alec’s groan resonates loud and clear throughout the room. By the angel, he wants this man desperately; his need has become a physical ache, pulsating through his nerve endings and coiling strictly around his burning muscles.


BEGIN AGAIN by ReneeWritesx [ not rated | AU | 21k | complete | A Light To Call Home #1 ]

Unpacking sucked. And Magnus had only brought like half of his things. Okay, maybe two-thirds. But whatever, it didn’t matter. What did matter was that Magnus was sweating from carrying boxes, the cottage had no air conditioning, and he was super close to packing everything back up and driving back to New York in about three seconds.

-

Or the one where heartbreak is a pain in the ass, Magnus is forced to spend the summer in a small cottage in the hopes of finding his passion for design again, and manages to piss off the cute neighbor after only being there for two days.

“The only real pain in life is between hanging on and letting go.”


IN THE INSTITUTE by sarahrae5135 [ E | 6.1k | complete ]

Magnus stays at the Institute for the first time.


THE MORNING AFTER by @asexualalexanderlightwood​ [ not rated | 733 | complete ]

A small little post finale fic for anyone in need of more Malec loveliness


BETTER FOR YOU by @zrdu [ not rated | 9.2k | complete ]

Magnus’ and Alec’s relationship comes to a sudden halt when Maryse interferes. They both try to cope without each other.


WITH YOU WRAPPED AROUND ME, THE WORLD FEELS PERFECT by @matsdaddario  [ E | 3.6k | complete | Lovely Firsts #3 ]

Magnus is still asleep; Alec can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against his own back, and Alec takes the few minutes just to enjoy being wrapped up in Magnus’s arms. He looks down at their hands threaded together, resting against his stomach. He loves the contrast between them; tan and pale, long and lean, deep red nail polish and short, bitten nails. There’s something comforting there too. How different they can be, but how well they fit together. Alec has a moment of feeling like they were made to fit together. It might be stupid, it brings a blush to his cheeks, but a warm feeling settles in his stomach at the thought. He likes that.


ONE DAY by @magnusragnor​ [ T | 1.3k | complete ]

“Do you -” Alec started, hissing his teeth in pain and looking up at Magnus. “Do you have any more of that free of charge warlock TLC?”

“What are you -?” Magnus asked, before the memory hit him full force and he tried not to laugh, because Alec was hurt, god damn it. But Alec was smiling up at him and his eyes were shining bright full of hope and love, so Magnus leaned down and kissed him.


MORNINGS LIKE THIS by @softmagnusbane​ [ G | 1.1k | complete ]

Alec feels all his love for the man in his arms bubble up to the surface looking at him like this. Sleep rumpled and peaceful, his hair is a soft mess that Alec almost can’t wait to run his fingers through when Magnus wakes up, his lips so kissable and slightly open. There is nothing better in this world than being able to wake up to this he thinks idly.


PLAYING WITH FIRE by Obsessivecompulsivereadr [ M | 3k | complete ]

Alec’s breath catches nearly every time he looks at Magnus, and it happens even during times they haven’t been on an official date. But tonight is different. Magnus isn’t his sedate and dignified self right now. He’s back to being flirty and relaxed, and he looks so good that Alec can’t stop thinking about touching him.


SO BRIGHT by @lemonoclefox [ G | 17.5k | complete ]

Alec has come out, but that doesn’t stop his parents from their continuous attempts to set him up with a nice shadowhunter girl. So, what better way to finally get them off his back, than to say he has a boyfriend? Problem solved. Except they now apparently want to meet this guy, who doesn’t exist. Thankfully, Magnus Bane – who encouraged Alec to come out in the first place, and whose silent crush on Alec is just as bad as Alec’s crush on him – is more than happy to help. Even if the night doesn’t end up going entirely as planned.


SLOW ME DOWN FOR A MINUTE by @abloodneed​ [ E | 7k | complete ]

They stared at each other for a moment, each beat of Magnus’s heart seeming to thicken the air again, pulling them back to the charged space they had fallen into on all of their dates. They’d fallen into this feeling here in the loft, out in the world, so many places where everything suddenly just felt intense and present. They were in this charged space where their bodies were saying one thing, and one thing only.

I want you so badly.


BLUE CHRISTMAS by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 1.5k | complete | Blue Steels Series #6 ]

Just a quick fic to fill in a Christmas need I have for my Blue Steel Series. Takes place between “Blue Extravagance” and the upcoming “Blue Righteousness.”
Magnus and Alec “come” together for the first time since Alec’s injury and the boys wake up for Christmas morning.


BLUE RIGHTEOUSNESS by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 41.1k | complete | Blue Steels Series #7 ]

After returning from medical leave, Detective Alexander Lightwood-Bane catches his roughest case up to date. When one of his properties, a club called Kebebasan is attacked by two gunmen, Magnus Lightwood-Bane calls the best cop he knows. During the course of the investigation, Alec discovers that this shooting isn’t an isolated incident, but the result of domestic terrorism; a group attacking what they consider to be amoral. Alec and his partner, Jace Herondale have to move quickly to stop this group before it causes wide-spread panic in the city and more loss of life.


LUNCHDATE WITH AN AFTERNOON DEBATE? by eenkhjin [ G | AU | 5.7k | complete]

Magnus Bane goes out to get lunch but comes back with a mission to prove someone wrong. Kind of…


TO LOVE A SHADOWHUNTER by Madalena [ E | 10k | complete | The Peacemaker Chronicles #1 ]

“Are you really going to risk your life for a Shadowhunter?”

Those were some of the last words that Magnus Bane had said to Dot before he stepped through his portal to his lair, protecting only the warlocks. Abandoning the rest of the Shadow World to Valentine and his Circle.

Dot wasn’t sure how long she had been under Valentine’s control, but now as she stood on Magnus’ balcony, hours after Magnus and Clary had portalled away to the Institute, to save both Shadowhunters and Downworlders, she knew something had changed.

Someone had changed him.


OBLIVION by @champagnemagnus [ T | 2.7k | complete ]

Alec stood up, keeping a careful distance and being sure to move slowly as he approached. “Magnus, I am so sorry. For everything you had to go through.”

Magnus’ eyes never moved from the spot on the floor he was staring at. He shook his head slightly, eyebrows furrowed deeply. “That agony rune…” He paused, taking a moment to swallow. His face was drawn in so much pain that Alec had to look away for a moment. He immediately punished himself by digging his fingernails into his palm. It was selfish to worry about his pain. He had certainly inflicted more than enough on Magnus that he had to atone for. “Made me remember things that I spent…centuries trying to forget.”


ONE SHOW ONLY by @gingersnapwolves [ E | AU | 29.4k | complete ]

It’s hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner … but Alec will be damned if he isn’t going to give it a try.


THE RED BUTTON by @ketzwrites [ M | AU | 38k | complete ]

After one black out too many, Ragnor and Catarina had enough of Magnus trying to drink himself to an early grave. It was time for an intervention and they had the perfect place in mind: The Institute, the best rehabilitation installation in the New York state.

Only Magnus wasn’t exactly asked for his opinion on the matter. And if there is something Magnus doesn’t like, is to be forced into something.

Maybe the Head of the Institute, Alec Lightwood, is enough of an argument to chance his mind?

Keith’s Motivations this Season

Aka, “Me Trying To Puzzle Out Keith When I Still Haven’t Even Finished the First Episode.” Let’s pop off.

So the conflict this season is obviously Keith’s responsibilities as a Paladin vs his desire to help the Blades. And because Keith’s life is a melodrama, his problems quickly become everyone else’s. But the real question is: Why is he doing all this in the first place?

(cracks my knuckles) Time to one part analyze, one part predict, one part headcanon.

Here are my theories as to what Keith’s reasons are for doing anything this season:

1. Keith is a man of action. And Voltron hasn’t really been doing much lately.

I’m actually going to disagree with Keith here because, as pretty much Everyone in the episode points out, Voltron has been doing tons lately. They’ve been freeing planets, consolidating with rebels, leading parades- They’ve been winning.

But not in the way Keith wants. Keith is a very single-minded person, and he’s also… Not a pessimist, exactly, but he’s a realist. He knows that everything they’ve accomplished will mean jackshit so long as their real enemies (Lotor, namely, with Haggar close behind) are still out there. Keith is the kind of guy who’d rather get everything done first and then relax.

Voltron is the defender of the universe. But Keith focuses more on being a protector. He wants to be pro-active. In the earlier seasons, he was more used to being pro-active for himself since, y’know, loner. But now that he’s become the Leader, his instincts to strike first have gone into total haywire. Voltron is the defender of the universe, but Keith wants to defend Voltron. And to do that, he has to take out every possible threat he can, and he can’t do that if he’s parading himself in front of a crowd for the second time this week.

Also, Keith just… hates performative action. He’d rather have his boots on the ground doing something rather than sitting back and waiting for Lotor to come to them. The thought just makes him antsy lmfao. Keith probably feels fake under the attention like. He doesn’t really trust people just at their word, and this applies to himself. If he were really a Paladin of Voltron, he’d be out there suckerpunching Galra, not sitting around and waving at a crowd. He got enough  over-glorification and attention at the Garrison, thank you very much.

2. The Blades are fucking shit up and locking shit down.

Like, these guys are kicking ass. I’ll fully admit it, and I don’t even like them lmfao. Keith would much rather be out there risking his life for the cause instead of celebrating like they’ve already won. That’s just the kind of person he is.

Also, he definitely feels some sense of belonging with them, or something of a kindred spirit. I mean, throwback to NotAllGalra in season 2 lmfaoo. Plus, these guys are like the Key to Keith’s past and all the stuff he doesn’t know about himself. Of course he wants to get in on that.

On a side note, does Keith know anything about his mom yet? I mean like. He better. If she was a Blade and Kolivan still hasn’t told Keith jack I’m going to be PISSED on his behalf. My boy nearly dies every mission and they’re still withholding information from him? Ugh.

3. Keith is trying to avoid being the Black Paladin/Leader.

There’s only so many times Keith can try to give Shiro back the Black Lion before people start getting suspicious lmfao.

Keith really, really doesn’t want to be leader. This should be obvious by now. Before, he bore the burden grudgingly, but always with the condition of ‘until Shiro comes back.’ Well, Shiro is (supposedly) back now, but he’s not taking refunds and Keith doesn’t know what to do. It was easier before, because Keith had a clear purpose: Find Shiro. And then, later on, Stop Lotor. 

Now he’s found Shiro but Lotor is gone with the wind and Keith is frustrated that he’s still stuck in this role. Also, it’s kind of nerve-wracking to Keith that Shiro is watching and judging his every move as leader. I mean like, not really, because Shiro is a nice guy, but it Feels Like Shiro Is Measuring Him Up and it’s hell on Keith’s instincts since he’s now always second-guessing himself. What would Shiro do, you ask? Well, Shiro is right here and he has Opinions. Unfortunately, Keith’s eager beaver attitude goes directly against his urge to follow his own instincts, leading to a lot of mess and a lot of bad feelings on Keith’s part. It’s not fun feeling like you’re failing someone important to you just because you’re trying to be true to yourself.

Additionally, Shiro is the one guy in the world Keith doesn’t want to let down, and now they both have to do this awkward tango where Shiro says he’s happy that Keith is the true Black Paladin when he’s very obviously Not That Okay with it. Awkward. Of course Keith wants to bail out of this situation.

~College!au Pen Pal Jungkook~ PART TWELVE

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 13] [part 14:END]

Originally posted by jkguks

“Oh, Jungkook! Hey!” You gave a weak smile and waved your hand. You then noticed Y/F/N standing behind him, an amused look on her face. Of course she was here.

Giving a confused wave back, he asked again, “Did you want to tell me something?”

Jimin nudged you with his elbow while Taehyung looked at you with side eyes, signaling you to speak. Shaking your head, you chuckled, “Nope.”

“You sure? I thought I heard you say–”

“Kookie, she said no. Can we go now, please?” Y/F/N whined, tugging at Jungkook’s long sleeved shirt. You remembered that shirt. That was the shirt he wore when you two got pizza one night on a quest to find his pen pal. You were both laughing at something silly and he ended up with lemonade all over it. You mentally shook your head at the wrong timing for remembering a nice memory.

“Y/F/N,” Jungkook sighed. Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, you were no longer frowning. He seemed annoyed. 

“Well? Tell him Y/N, you don’t have anything to say,” Y/F/N gestured you to continue. 

Just as you were about to speak, Jimin interjected. “And if I remember, it was Jungkook asking the question, not you, bitch.” 

You gaped at what Jimin said while Jungkook shouted, “Hyung!”

You looked at Y/F/N who was red in the face and staring straight at you. Don’t you dare, she spoke with her beady eyes.

“Go on, Y/N, tell him,” Taehyung urged, pushing you froward towards Jungkook. He adjusted the beanie on his head, looking between the three of you, confused as hell. 

“Tell me what?”

You looked down and Jimin sighed. If you weren’t going to tell him, he was. “That that girl over there? Yeah, she isn’t your pen pal!”

Jungkook flicked his eyes toward Y/F/N, who placed a hand on her heart as if accused of murder. 

“How can you say that? She is.”

“Really, and when was the last time you actually texted her through the pen pal email, hm?”

“Not since I got her number but–”

“Try it, then. Text her. See if Y/F/N’s phone dings,” Taehyung crossed his arms, staring at the phone in Jungkook’s hand. Boys, what are you doing, you thought.

“Why would I need to prove that? She knows me like my pen pal knows me.”

“But does she act the same way? Certain obvious compatible aspects of your pen pal, she might act like. But really, if you met her without knowing she was your pen pal, would you believe that? I don’t think so. And I don’t think you do either. There’s something off about her, right? She’s too…forced.” Jimin gazed over at you. You were fiddling with your fingers avoiding eye contact with Jungkook.

“What are you saying?”

“That she’s not your pen pal! She’s not the girl you’ve grown to like so much!” Taehyung sighed, exasperated. “Just text her.”

Jungkook began to unlock his phone, eyes flickering to you. What did you have to do with all of this? Was it because Y/F/N was your friend?

He typed a simple message and heard the send sound from his phone. Closing your eyes in anticipation, you waited.

Then, your phone dinged.

All eyes were on you and you slowly reached into your back pocket. Turning on the phone the name, ‘Jungkookieeeee’ was seen with his message underneath. It was a simple question mark. 

Looking back up at Jungkook, you could only say two words, “I’m sorry,” and rushed out like your life depended on it. Why were you so cowardly sometimes? Why did you always run away from your problems in hopes of them never following you?


Jungkook watched as you shoved past him, his hand nearly grabbing your wrist but you slipped away. His heart shattered.

“There. Now you know,” Jimin said. 

“I’m gonna go find Y/N,” Taehyung spoke, softly, and swiftly left the library.

“It was Y/N?” Was the first thing to exit Jungkook’s mouth. Then it struck him as if it were obvious. Both you and his pen pal understood him in ways nobody else has. When others would make fun, you’d comfort. Sure, Y/F/N had that sarcastic nature that his pen pal had, a quite forced one, but she was no you.

You did it without even trying. You were witty and never failed to make him laugh, even while he was in distress. Then he realized, once he let you go, he didn’t do much laughing anymore. Most of the laughs he shared with Y/F/N were fake and forced, almost like he wanted them to be true since she was his pen pal after all. 

“It was this whole time,” Jimin confirmed. Then Jungkook became angry. Turning to Y/F/N who looked terrified, he fumed “Why the hell would you do that?”

“Kookie,” She pleaded, reaching for his hand, which he yanked back. 

“No. How could you do that to not only me, but Y/N, your own friend?”

“How could you be defending her right now!? Either way she lied to you!”

“And you think if she told me the truth when she was ready that I wouldn’t accept it? That no matter what, I would hate her? I know Y/N. I’ve known Y/N for months. I know every habit, every small detail she probably doesn’t know about herself. And you think I’d let that–her–go because she failed to give me information? Sure, I wanted it bad as hell, but there’s two of us. She wasn’t ready and if I got mad, I would be being selfish. I have no right to be angry when she was uncomfortable with me knowing who she was. And here I am, in loss of one of my best friends. Hell, I was in love with her!”

It was then, Jungkook realized, just how much he cared for you. Not only in a way of a best friend. No, he cared about you a lot more than that. He used to want nothing more than for you to be in his arms. He wanted to be the reason you were smiling and laughing. 

And now he’s done the opposite. He pushed you away and caused you so much pain and loneliness. Oh, how much he wanted to go back to that first night when you were cuddled on your bed in your dorm room, unaffected to what was going on this moment. He wanted to hold you tighter than he ever did, bury his head in your neck, and never let go.

“You–you were?”

Nodding his head, Jungkook continued, “I was starting to even forget about my pen pal. I just used her as an excuse to hang out with Y/N. I don’t think you understand what you ripped from me. I betrayed her. She wanted to explain but it was because of you she couldn’t. She was so terrified of what you could do, what lies you would tell me, that she stayed quiet and allowed her to be used. She was suffering and it was all because of me,” Jungkook let out a breath of air.

“Even after lying to you, you’d still run back to her?” Y/F/N muttered.

“In a heartbeat.”

“I–I’m sorry. For everything.” 

“A simple sorry isn’t going to cut it for you. I don’t even know who you are. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find my girl.”


WOWOWO THREE UPDATES?! LOOK AT ME GO! HEY HEYYYY

Part 13???👀(now that you’ll have to wait until possibly tmm forrrr)

Emmett’s Top Surgery Guide

Alright so a few people have asked me to do this so here we go-

(I hope I covered everything)

What do I need to prepare for?

  1. Get clothes together. You will probably not have the energy or motivation to change, so have some sweat pants and a few shirts. I recommend zip up hoodies because buttons are too hard sometimes. Really, zippers are the best. You can deal with buttons 2 weeks post op when it’s easier.
  2. Prepare food. This is especially important if you’re gonna be alone a lot or if you’re stubborn like me and don’t like asking for help. Cooking is gonna be hard, so get easy things. Ramen, other microwaveable soups. You can do it stovetop too if it’s not too high for you to reach (I’m 5'2" and it was a bit hard for me). Chips and pretzels and crackers and cookies are also good because it’s tasty and good to just have by you for if you get nauseous and need a quick bite or if you jsut can’t make yourself get up. I know it’s not healthy but let yourself live a little. I also bought some chicken tenders and stuff like that to throw in the oven because do have a freezer that’s on its own so I could reach all the stuff. I love coffee but the coffee pot was too far back for me to reach and the mugs were way too high so I bought some of the cold pre made Starbucks and dunkin donuts coffees. Also have money to order food possibly depending on how long you’re laid up and what you can do.
  3. Have things to drink. A good water bottle or Styrofoam cup is important. Having water and tea and other liquids is important because the pain meds and antibiotics can dehydrate you and you will be a bit dehydrated from surgery in general. Hydration can also make you feel more energetic too.
  4. Queue up some movies and shows. Netflix (or recorded shows or on demand shows or dvds or blue rays or whatever) is amazing. I watched a lot of parks and rec and also paranormal survivors. You’re gonna have a lot of time and you’ll be sleepy and it might be hard to focus so easy things to watch are good
  5. Have a place to sleep. I slept on a recliner in my living room for about 2 and a half weeks post op. I did try to sleep in my room but I kept rolling over and it hurt so much. I wasn’t able to sleep on my stomach a whole night until about 3 and a half weeks post op. The recliner was amazing. If you don’t have that, lots and lots of pillows to put on 3 sides of you work too. My headboard has shelves built in so I couldn’t use pillows to prop myself up, but my grandmother got a surgical wedge for me and putting blankets and pillows around that helped when I moved back to my room
  6. Have help scheduled. If you’re alone most of the time, have a visiting nurse or friend or family member come check on you and help you out for a couple hours. Having someone with you all day is ideal, but you don’t have to, and I know that’s not possible for everyone.
  7. Have a mental health care plan. This is important whether you’re mentally ill or not. Top surgery brings up a lot of emotions and many people experience mood swings and depression after surgery. This happens because surgery is trauma to your body, even if it’s good. Your mind is trying to understand why there is missing flesh and all of that can be overwhelming. The pain meds don’t help with that either.
  8. Get a long phone charger. As long as possible. You’re gonna be sitting and laying in some weird positions and you’ll be bored out of your mind, so you’re gonna wanna have your phone. If you don’t have a long phone charger or can’t get one (or if you’re breaks 1 day post op like mine did) you can use an extension cordd or a power strip to make it longer
  9. Have other things to do. Maybe a book or a sketch pad or coloring or clay. Just something else to keep you busy for when you are tired of Netflix
  10. Trim your body hair. I suggest trimming your armpit hair a little, if not all the way, because the ace bandage will pull on it and it will be uncomfy. Also if you do anything with your hair elsewhere, do it pre op
  11. Also if you have pets that need their habitats cleaned, do that the day before surgery. I have fish, a turtle, a hermit crab, 3 geckos, a guinea pig, and a dog. I changed bedding and cleaned tanks for all of them except the dog admit was worth it. It would’ve been way too hard post op.
  12. If you take any medication be sure to call the hospital and check if you should stop it or keep taking it. I stopped T and my vitamin supplements and all oral steroids 2 weeks before and you’re not supposed to take nay medication the morning of, but the hospital told me I could because it’s psych medication and I’m better on it than off

What do I do the day of surgery?

  1. Go to the hospital!! Your surgeon (or someone from their office) eill give you directions to the hospital and a list of what you need. I needed my ID, my insurance card, pre-op paperwork, and all of my meds. I ended up needing none of those things, but I was told to bring them so I did and I suggest you do the same.
  2. Anxiety is 100% normal the morning of. I was very anxious and so was my dad and we ended up screaming at each other. My way of coping with the anxiety was to text my partner, and I also Facebook live streamed a couple time sin the car (it’s 2 hours from my house to the hospital)
  3. When you get to the hospital go with the flow. I was called on my way and told to get there asap bc there was a cancellation. I told them that wasn’t happening because of how far I live and I was already on my way but I would be there in time for my surgery slot. When I got there, I checked in and everything was okay. Until they mixed me up with two seperate patients and I got really anxious. But my surgeon came to meet me and calmed me down and it was okay. They let one of my parents stay with me until I went to the OR which was also nice
  4. The OR is scary. There are a ton of people and the table is cold and everything is moving fast and you just lay there. I actually somehow felt calm though? I think I hit the point of being anxious where I was in stress nirvana and nothing registered anymore. I just breathed deeply and said that whatever happened was gonna happen and then they told me to keep breathing the oxygen in and that they were giving me the medicine to make me sleep.
  5. Rely on whatever you believe in and whatever helps you. I had play doh with me and my favorite stuffed animal in the car and I kept it in my bag at the hospital. That helped me stay calm a lot. I also am spiritual in the sense that I believe that things happen the way they happen and that’s that, and we should go woth it and tackle it as it comes. If you are religious, praying or worshipping however you like can help in the money’s and days leading up to surgery too.

What’s it like waking up?

  1. It’s weird. It’s really fucking weird. I was very sleepy and confused. I don’t remember a lot of it. I remember asking for my partner (they couldn’t be there because they had class) and I remember being sleepy. Apparently I asked for Adrian so much that my mom called them and I talked to them. Apparently i said that they are wonderful and that I’m in love with them (which is true) and tbh my parents still make fun of me for it. I don’t remember doing that at all. I also remember needing to per and the nurse asked me if I could get up or if I wanted a bed pan and I said I was gonna get up. I did, and I was so stumbley and dizzy. I remember getting confused about toilet paper and it took me forever. I also got tangled in the wires and tubes from the IV. This happened 3 more times while I was in the recovery room
  2. I also had a very hard time breathing. I was coughing and my oxygen saturation was in the 60’s which I not good. They gave me albuterol and oxygen which helped a lot.

Night 1 in the hospital

  1. I spent 1 night in the hospital. I know some surgeons do more, some do less.
  2. It was an interesting night. I was on a lot of pain medication and I was starving. I ate a lot of banana bread my mom gave me.
  3. My dad stayed the night with me which was also nice.
  4. Instated on oxygen most of the night until I was breathing better on my own with the help of a spirometer every hour
  5. The hospital however was not good about giving me my meds. Hospital are notorious for fucking up when someone should get meds. I take a lot of medication, mostly for psych stuff, and I absolutly need all of it. The one in particular they weren’t giving me was my anxiety medication, which also stabilizes my blood pressure. So of course my BP is high and they are asking why and saying they can’t give me my meds because it’s not in the system.
  6. So long story short I didnt get my meds but it was fine because it was only one day
  7. In the morning, I got to go home. They gave me one last dose of pain meds and I was ready for the 2 hour car ride back to my house
  8. Before I left however, my surgeon saw me and I got to see my chest. I didn’t expect to see it so soon. The only other time I felt so at peace was when I was high. I also got my drains out that morning because I wasn’t draining much so my surgeon didn’t feel like they were needed

Being home

  1. It is hard. I slept for the first 3 days most of the day. I was on a lot of Percocet. I needed it. I literally just slept on the recliner all day. I woke up to pee and to eat and watch a little bit of parks and rec.
  2. Speaking of peeing. The anesthesia basically stops everything and peeing is hard after surgery. It’s like you can’t make yourself do it, you just have to let it happen
  3. Also pooping. This is TMI but for the love of fuck have stool softeners because pain meds and antibiotics fuck that up and the last thing you need is a tummy ache along with your chest hurting. I took stool softeners in the hospital and when I got home and it still took me 5 days to shit. I know that’s gross but really, love yourself and buy stool softeners.
  4. Okay last bathroom thing I promise. Wearing underwear that are kinda tight is not a good idea. The elastic is gonna be too hard to pull down and you’re gonna get tired and frustrated. I know how absurd that sounds but that’s really how it is. I just didn wear any for a couple days.
  5. Every single thing is difficult. I was so weak I could barely lift a mug. Everything was really hard. I needed a lot of help.
  6. Post op you will cough and need to take very deep breaths. Your lungs are paralyzed during surgery and it takes time for them to sort their shit out once you wake up. I coughed a lot and I coughed up blood and it was gross. I also was at a very high risk for pneumonia so I had to watch that
  7. As the days went on it got easier. I could do more things. I could cook more, I could get up and do things. 4 days post op my partner and my friends and an old teacher came over and saw me and hung out which was nice. Having support is really important and honestly those people made me so happy.
  8. Having someone to help you is so important and also having someone to give you positive vibes and love and support makes all the difference
  9. Emotionally you might be a mess. That’s okay. Go with it. Make sure to take time to self care and do things you enjoy. And don’t be afraid to ask for help
  10. You will get back to normal in time. Recover at your own pace.

What it looks like

  1. When you first see it, it’s gonna be blue and purple and green. All bruised. The stitches look angry and jagged. And it only looks worse as the days go by for the first week or so. That is normal. Your chest went through a lot and it’s gonna bruise and look swollen and gross.
  2. The bruising does fade and the stitches will fall off (if they are the kind that does that). It’s gonna be weird. Don’t pull them, don’t fuck with them. I know how tempting it is, but just don’t.
  3. The swelling lasts for about 3 weeks, then it looks pretty much how it’s gonna look. Remember it’s not gonna be completely flat, it has to match your body
  4. Also you’ll have to wear a surgical binder for at least a month post op

Showering

  1. Wash up. Washcloth and soap or wipes are your friends. You can’t shower head to toe unless you wrap your chest with plastic wrap, which is really hard. I do not reccomend it. Wash your hair in th sink if you want, but only if you have help. Moving your arms like that is gonna be hard.
  2. Once you can shower head to toe, it’s amazing. And your stitches will fall off faster. It’s just really nice. But be gentle because your chest is still tender.

Things I didn’t expect

  1. I’m psychotic so I normally have some hallucinations, but the pain medication made it so intense that I couldn’t function. I thought I was being watched constantly, I was screaming and crying and panicking. It was really scary and really bad. If you’re psychotic, please keep this in mind and share concerns with your doctor. I stopped my pain medication early because of this.
  2. If you have body related trauma, surgery might bring that back up. No one told me this and I was not prepared. I was raped and I have trouble not being in control of my body. I wasn’t even thinking of that until I was on the table seconds before I fell asleep. I would never know what happened during surgery (aside from the obvious) and that scared me and tbh it still does.
  3. I didnt expect how hard it would be to sleep. I slept on the recliner in my living room for almost 3 weeks. I sleep on my stomach and I just couldn’t because it hurt so much. Once I was a month post op I could though and thats what I do now
  4. Infection. I was expecting it to happen as soon as i went off antibiotics but it happened around 3 weeks post op. The nurse at the surgeons office told me i was crazy and she was really rude so I sorted it myself but it was unexpected at that point.
  5. Emotionally it really was hard. Some of that was my mental illness but some of it was post op mood swings and depression. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad.

Okay so that’s it I think. If there is anything I forgot or if you have questions feel free to ask!!