i am going to get ax murdered

A new start, part 6

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2133

Warnings: Language and fluff =)

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

Once Chris had driven away, you finally went into the house.  Everything felt different.  Everything looked better.  You were past your crush and heavily into liking this man.  There was not so much fear anymore.  Getting to know him, the man he was, helped that.  He showed you how you should be treated whether as a friend or as something more.  Tonight had been wonderful and you felt like you were going to burst out of your skin with excitement.  There was no way you were going to be able to sleep at this point.  At least not until you got rid of some of the energy surging through your veins.  You turned up the music on your phone and took a shower first thing.  Singing at the top of your lungs and dancing in the shower stall.  The dance party continued for at least another thirty minutes in the bedroom after you had gotten your pajamas on.  

As your body started to tire out, you received a text message.  You looked at the clock and realized it was just after midnight, your heart started to beat wildly thinking something was wrong.  Running over to your phone, you saw it was from Chris.

You awake?  I can’t sleep.  

Sighing loudly you climbed into bed, giving yourself a few moments to let your heart rate return to normal.

Actually yes I am.  Your text just scared the shit out of me.

His return text was quick.

Sorry.  I know it’s late.  I just couldn’t sleep.  Honestly I am too hyped up from our date.

You read over the words several times before you responded.  It boggled your mind that he was feeling the exact same way you were right now.  

I am too.  I’ve been dancing around like a mad woman trying to get rid of some of this energy.

I debated going for a run but it’s late and I don’t need an ax murderer hacking me to death.  The headlines would suck.

You laughed aloud, shaking your head.  The man was insane.

Yeah it would be awful.  “Captain America can’t hack it”

LOL Wow that’s even worse. Really glad now I didn’t go.

Smiling, you settled back into bed.  As you thought about it, you did not have to be on set until the afternoon.  You had scenes with some of the supporting actors in the movie.  The scenes with Chris would not be until the day after.  They were fewer now that the movie was close to finishing.  Only two more weeks to go, then you would head home for a month before you were slated for your next filming.  Since you did not have to be up early, you made the choice, flipped through your contacts and hit send.  Chris picked up almost immediately.

“I wasn’t expecting a phone call.  Just thought we would text until one of us crashed.”  That damn voice of his made your stomach do a flip as soon as your heard it.

“I know.  But neither of us can sleep and I wanted to talk.  We can go back to texting if you want.”  In your mind, you were yelling ‘please say no, please say no!’

“No, no.  I’m glad to hear your voice.  Didn’t think I would get to talk to you till tomorrow.  Though I guess it is tomorrow now.”  You were sure you could hear a smile in his voice and it made your cheeks flame.  Just as always talking with Chris was easy and was effortless.  The pair of you getting to know each other in a different way. He asked questions he had always wanted to know, like your favorite book and what was your go-to snack.  Then when you asked, he told you all about his favorite pet as a child and how his sisters used to torment him when they were younger.  It was close to three in the morning by the time either of you realized it.  Chris said he wanted you to sleep even though he could keep talking to you for the rest of the night.  Begrudgingly you said goodnight, falling asleep not long after.

Hours later, you were woken by an annoying buzzing sound.  The fog in your brain slowly dissipating as the noise stopped then sounded again just moments later.  It was then you realized it was your phone vibrating on the bedside table.  Not bothering to look to see who it was you answered with a sleepy, “hello?”

“I have been trying to call you for an hour. Have you been sleeping this whole time?”  It was Chris and he sounded way too awake for going to bed so late.

“Yes, some of us require more than four hours of beauty sleep to function.  Why have you been calling me for an hour?”  You had not pried your eyes open yet.

“Wow so I get to tell you this?  That’s amazing.”

“Spit it out Evans.” The level of your patience was dwindling quickly.  Chris laughed in your ear.

“[Y/N] you were nominated for best actress for Deep dark corner.  They announced it this morning.”  Your end of the line went very quiet.  This had to be a dream, how was it possible for one, that you did not know the nominations were today and two… how the hell were you nominated?  “[Y/N]?  You better not have fallen back asleep on me.”

“No, no I’m here. Holy shit.  Am I dreaming?  Fuck. I’m awake.  Oh my God, Chris!”  Sitting up quickly in bed you covered your mouth as you screamed your excitement. He laughed on the other end of the phone as he listened to you.  Hearing your joy made him grin and it just added to his own excitement for the surprise he was now planning.  As you were trying to calm down your phone vibrated again with another call.  This time from your manager.  “Chris can I call you back?  My manager is calling and I know he had got to be freaking out too.”

“Of course.  Call me back when you can, if not I will probably see you on set later.”  Saying your goodbyes, you switched over to the other line.  Mike, your manager, was beyond excited.  He, too, had been trying to call you for hours.  In the time you were on the phone with him seven more texts and three phone calls came in.  Every person you knew wanted to say congratulations and give their love.  After talking to Mike, you called your mom who kept you on the phone for thirty minutes.  Every time you tried to say you had to go she kept talking.  Finally you just took the phone with you to the bathroom so you could pee, because she was going on about how proud she was and how she knew that movie was going to put you on the map.

Towards the end of the phone call, she finally slowed down to ask, “Who are you taking as your date to this thing?”  That question stopped you in your tracks.  It was not something you had thought about yet.  She mentioned something about taking your father or Jake. Chris popped into your mind but it was probably too soon to ask him something like that.  It was a huge deal, and maybe he was not ready to define whatever was going on between you.  As soon as you got off the phone with your mother, your favorite designer called. He was lesser known in the design world but you had bonded over pretty dresses one visit to New York.  Since then you used him more for your dresses and outfits than anyone else.  He called to ask what you wanted to look like and how he was going to send an assistant out this week to measure you, so that he could get started with the designs.

It took hours for you to finally call and text everyone back.  You had gotten a long shower and brushed your hair out before heading to the set.  As you walked up to your trailer, another text came through.  Even though you had taken the name out of your contact list, you recognized the number.  David texted to say ‘Congrats beautiful. You deserve it.’  You stared at the message for a moment then decided to not respond. He was no longer important and did not need an answer.  Opening your trailer door the scent of flowers hit you.  Walking up the entire interior was covered with hundreds of different colored roses.    Every bouquet was multicolored except one.  One solid white bouquet sat at your makeup chair.  There was a card sticking out with your name on it.

If I could have filled your house with roses I would have. I’m so proud of you. Congratulations [Y/N].  

~ C

Chris remembered from one conversations months ago that your favorite flower was a white rose.  How did he pull this together so quickly?!  You teared up as you gazed around the room. No one had ever done anything for you like this before.  He made you feel more special in the short time you had known him, than any other man had in the entire span of the relationship.  Wiping your eyes, you pulled your phone from your pocket.  As you started to dial there was a knock at your trailer door.  You opened it to find Chris standing there with the biggest grin on his face.  Not wasting a breath, you launched yourself into his arms hugging him tightly.

“Thank you so much.  I can’t believe you did that.  You are crazy.”  He laughed as he held you tight.

“I wanted to see you smile. But, this is better.  And yeah I know I am crazy, crazy about you.”  He did it again.  Your heart nearly exploded in your chest.  Pulling back to look at him you forgot what you were going to say. His blue eyes were staring down at you, causing everything inside you to do the opposite of what it was made to do. Chris’s smile disappeared as he started to look nervous with you looking up at him.  However, it was too late for you then, you wanted this.  Leaning up on your toes you pressed your lips softly to his. He was hesitant at first to return the kiss, but only for a second.  Soon his response matched your own as his hand held the back of your head lightly.  It was far better than the kisses you had on set. This was real.  This was not acting between you and it felt wonderful. Chris was the first to pull back, though it was reluctantly.    “That was… great.”

You nodded with a quiet giggle.  “It was better than great.  It was amazing.”  He still held you in his arms as he ran his thumb across your cheek.

“[Y/N] I want this with you. Just you and me.  I’m not seeing anyone else.  I don’t plan to.  You understand that?”  His sincerity blew you away.  He wanted to be just with you.  As much as it scared you, you needed that new start.  Just like your dad had said.  You wanted that new start with Chris.

“I think I understand. I guess that means you’re my boyfriend Christopher Evans.”  As much as you joked, you were just as serious as he was.  He laughed stealing another soft kiss.

“Damn right.”  

“So then you wouldn’t be upset if I asked you to escort me to the awards in a month?  I need a date and I’m pretty sure I want my boyfriend to enjoy that night with me.  Even when I don’t win.”  You could only hope now he would say yes.  That he would be willing to go public at that point with your relationship.

“[Y/N], I would do anything you wanted.  I would love to take you.  You sure you want the world to know about the dork you are dating?  And you are going to win.”  

“You sure you want the world to know the pain in the ass you are dating?”  Both of you smiled at the same time.

“Hell yes.  I’m proud of you, in case you didn’t get a chance to read the card.”  He kissed you again, this time it lingered far longer than the first one.  One of the set assistants finally had to break the two of you apart because you had to get ready for your scenes.  The poor woman had an awful blush at having to do so.  The rest of the day, you were walking on clouds.  Between your nomination and now having a defined status with Chris, you could not remember the last time you had been so happy.

Part 7

tags: @feelmyroarrrr  @bolontiku  @aquabrie   @malindacath  @mysteriouslyme81 @thegirlwithnodragontattoo @magellan-88  @thedoctorsnerdgirl  @waywardswain @tacohead13  @beckyboo1188  @pegasusdragontiger  @smoothdogsgirl  @kitty11223  @smoothdogsgirl  @castellandiangelo @jensenxnina  @our-chaoticwhispers @sf0206

you're not my brother?

oneshot? fluff
Yixing x reader
word count: 1452
prompt: I accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came


You’re not 100% certain how your best friend convinced you to get smashing drunk with her but it’s her birthday, so that probably contributed. But you’re starting to get a pounding migraine from all the noise and that isn’t worth living through for even another minute, not even for your best friend.

Thankfully she’s not too far away from where you’ve slumped in the corner, trying to avoid the noise, and you make your way through the crowd, wincing as the bass of the music seems to reverberate through your bones and straight into your brain.

“I’m going home!” You all but yell in her ear. She looks at you and pouts, but you point to your head and she must see exhaustion in your eyes because she hugs you and tells you to go.

It’s only as you step out of the bar and into the fresh air, taking what seems like your first breath all evening, that you realize you don’t have your phone.

“Goddamnit.”

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it’s 2:30 AM. you’re in bed. you wake up when you hear a sudden knock on your door. you roll over and close your eyes and try to go back to sleep, but you hear it again. and again. it’s louder and more insistent each time.

“just get it,” your lover tells you. “like hell am i doing that,” you answer back. “it could be an axe murderer.” “or it could just be some poor guy whose car broke down.” you sigh and roll out of bed and put on your frayed old bathrobe, and you shuffle all the way out through the kitchen to the front door.

you fiddle with the lock in the dark, but when you finally get the door open, i’m on your porch. my eyes are glazed over. i’m wearing a red sweater and a stained, too-large trenchcoat. your whole body droops. you mutter to yourself, “oh, god, not this again.” i reach in and shake you by the shoulders and give you a delirious smile, and i warble, “have you heard the good news about the secret world?”

anonymous asked:

Pumpkin Spice Vikings?

AS A VIKING SECURE IN MY VIKINGLINITY, I WILL FREELY ADMIT THAT I AM SUPER BASIC.


I WOULD PILLAGE EVERY STARBUCKS LOCATION IN THE COUNTRY FOR PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES! IN FACT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA!!!! EVERYONE GET UR AXES, WE’RE GOING ON A VENTI HALF-CAF MURDER PARTY!!!!
Disturbing screams?

Summary: Phil knocks on Dan’s door and says that he keeps hearing sex noises from Dan’s apartment. Dan knows this isn’t true and says that. Phil then says that there will be and they have the sex.

A/N: based on a text I got from a friend that I changed slightly, and the prompt “SPOONING PLSSSS” so I added that at the end. Also I want to say thanks to everyone that has followed little me, I honestly was not expecting that many people! Also if there are any mistakes don’t be afraid to tell me, I have no beta.

Word count: 1400-ish

TW: The smut, other than that idk, notify me if there is.

Dan is just lounging around his apartment in a oversized t-shirt and his boxers eating ice-cream out of the carton, when he hears a knock on his door. He rushes over to open it, a spoon full of ice cream still in his hand.

When he opened the door he saw the new neighbour, not the old cat lady, but the cute 20-something year old, black haired, blue eyed man that moved into the apartment next to Dan.

Dan suddenly became very conscious about what he was wearing, pulling his shirt down to cover more of his thighs.

“Hi” Dan said nervously and put the spoon full of ice cream in his mouth, not used to human interaction, other than the internet.

“Hi, I’m Phil.” He said quite confidently, leaning against the door frame.

He takes the spoon out of his mouth slowly, “Dan” the blushing man meekly said.

“I have a minor complaint” Phil blurted after a short uncomfortable silence. Dan raises his eyebrows.

“I keep hearing moaning and screaming coming through your walls into my apartment” he says sounding sure of himself, but Dan noticed him blushing slightly.

Dan knowing that his sex life is very non existent, splutters out a very smart sound, something like “uggghuhhh”.

Phil keeps looking at him expectantly.

Dan tries gathered himself quickly, “no, there are no noises like that in here…”

“There will be” he promptly says and in one swift movement, Phil stands up properly, unzips his fly, walks into Dan’s flat and shuts the door. Dan gulps and drops the spoon.

Phil pushes Dan against the wall, “you okay with this” he breathes heavily.

“Yeah” stutters the younger.

“Good” he mumbles into the taller mans lips before kissing them roughly, almost to the point of bruising them. Phil lets go of Dan’s shoulders he was pushing him into the wall with and grabs hit wrists pinning them against the wall instead over Dan’s head, holding them there with one hand, the spare placed back on Dan’s shoulder. The black haired man pulls away from the kiss with a slight lip bite, letting his lip back into place as he lets go and starts kissing and sucking on Dan’s neck. He immediately starts moaning and Phil figures that it is some sort of g-spot, he grins before biting down slightly smirking when Dan rolls his hips into him as expected.

Dan is suddenly aware of Phil’s fingers gliding up his big tee and playing with the waistband of his boxers.

“H-how about we move to my bedroom?” Dan pants in pleasure.

Phil breaks away from sucking a red mark into Dan’s skin and smirks up at him, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Dan gasped as Phil scoops him up into his arms, his hands on Dan’s ass making him wrap his legs around the older mans torso, Dan starts kissing the older mans neck as he starts to walk down the hallway. He stops outside of one of the doors and looks down at the man he is holding, Dan breaks away and nods towards it.

Phil pushed the door open and walks into the room backwards only to turn around and look for the bed. Spotting it Dan feels him walk over and drop him down onto it, feeling his familiar bedspread under him. He watches Phil pull off his shirt and throw it on the foot of Dan’s bed. While Phil starts to struggle out of his skinny jeans Dan quickly takes off his shirt. He hears a slight thump when something small lands on the bed next to him, but quickly forgets about it when he sees Phil crawling towards him in only his boxers, kissing his way up. Dan moans again, louder this time.

When he reaches Dan’s head he carefully whispers, “I want to hear you scream for me” into his ear, making Dan squirm and get even harder if that was possible.

Phil starts to trail down Dan’s body again, stopping to kiss Dan’s nipples, making him groan and arch his back off of the bed.

When he gets down to the brown haired mans boxers he starts to kiss and lick around the waistband, slowly sliding them off, Dan slightly lifting his hips to help him.

Phil looks up at Dan again and seductively says, “I am going to give you the most pleasure you have ever had” and licks Dan’s cock all the way up from the base, flicking it through the slit and then taking all of it into his mouth making Dan silently scream and put his hands in Phil’s hair has he bobs up and down on his cock. He manuevers his tongue skilfully up and down the length of Dan, making him claw at the sheets. The warm wetness of Phil’s mouth driving Dan crazy, a familiar feeling gathering in the lower parts of his abdomen.

“Ph-Phil” he shouts, “I’m close”

Phil deep throats Dan once more before he pulls off with a smirk, “not screaming yet I notice”

He then proceeds to sit up and reach for something on the bed, Dan notices that it is a bottle of lube and a condom.

He bends one of Dan’s legs up and covers his middle finger in lube. He slowly circles Dan’s rim and pushes in all the way up to his knuckle. Dan lets out a loud whimper.
After making sure Dan was stretched enough Phil pushes his index finger in along with the other.

“So beautiful” he mutters under his breath while scissoring said fingers. Which causes Dan to let out a very primitive sound.

Taking that as a sign Phil adds a third finger stretching Dan properly.

Dan screeches at the slight sting and just as he got used to it he feels Phil’s fingers pull out of him. He whimpers again and clenches around nothingness.

Soon after he hears the tear of a condom packet and watches Phil roll it onto is big cock, the sight bringing Dan even closer to the edge. He watches as his new neighbour strokes some lube onto his condom covered dick.

Phil leans forwards towards Dan kisses him slowly and passionately all at once, and then whispers “Tell me to stop if it hurts too much” in his ear.

Dan nods up at him, Phil pecks him on the lips and then starts to slowly enter him. Dan puts his hand on Phil’s back, gripping into it. He feels Phil bottom out and he waits for himself to adjust before nodding up at the older man again.

Phil starts to thrust, slowly but surely angling himself a new way every so often trying to find Dan’s prostate. When Dan feels it he bites his lower lip and throws his head back.

“I said I wanted you to scream, don’t hold back” Phil pants, slightly out of breath.

Phil starts to thrust faster into Dan’s prostate, Dan’s scratching Phil’s back in pure ecstasy. On a particular deep thrust Dan lets out a loud high pitched scream and starts to come, white covering his and Phil’s stomachs. After a few more thrusts Phil starts to come as well.

When they both come down from their orgasms Phil slowly pulls out of Dan, making him wince at the movement against his sore prostate, slips of the condom, ties it up and throws it into a bin Dan had close to his bed. He then collapses next to Dan.

Dan stares at the roof, “I wasn’t expecting my hot new neighbours to come in here and make me scream.”

“Yeah, I kind of wasn’t expecting myself to come over either, but I kept thinking about you after seeing you in the lift yesterday.” Phil answers sounding slightly embarrassed.

“Creepy stalker alert, but I’m glad you did come over, not much going on in here if you know what I mean”

“Well, now their might be more going on in here more regularly…?”

“I guess, I mean you did make me scream, got to have some sort of reward for that.”

Phil chuckles, and then struggles a little to get the covers over them, and puts his arms around Dan who happily snuggles into Phil a the small spoon.

“How do I know your not a weird axe murderer that will eat me” Dan mutters sleepily.

“Because I’m slightly too squeamish to be, and then I am pretty clumsy…” Phil trails off as Dan falls asleep in his protective arms.

OITNB (Season 3) : Sentence Starters
  • "Killers don't look like killers if they're good at their jobs."
  • "You know what gives me a headache? This job!"
  • "Ka-ching! Check it out! Woody fucking Allen. Now, that's some Jew shit right there."
  • "It tastes like Play-Doh."
  • "No one in here is people."
  • "More often than not, people believe what you tell them."
  • "One drop of ethnic blood, and bam, I'm basically made in China, like you and my toothbrush."
  • "I could be some kind of ax murderer who wants to make coats out of the skins of babies or something."
  • "We making panties?"
  • "Look, if you wanted to look like a real woman, you would let your roots grow out and get some bags under your eyes."
  • "I refuse to be invisible, _______. Not for you, not for _______, not for anybody."
  • "Maybe this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now."
  • "Go ahead and call me Jesus from now on 'cause this bitch just worked a miracle."
  • "I feel stupid for being in here."
  • "_______'s not my mom. Wouldn't wish that on her. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
  • "Books are made from paper and trees, so we thought they should be returned to the trees from whence they came and everything."
  • "I owe my younger self 23 years of wild sex with multiple partners, but I'll settle for my name back."
  • "You know, historically, me and reality...not friends."
  • "Man, this was the pill before there was a pill. It's cheaper than condoms, and make your coochie crack smell like lemon fresh."
  • "If you say "bean leaves" one more time I'm going to punch you in the fuck hole."
  • "How does that work, with you being a lady-man and all? "
  • "I don't know from these things. That's why I'm askin' questions."
  • "A good mother does what's best for her children. And maybe what was best for your children was wipin' 'em out before they had to lead miserable fucking lives."
  • "Oh my god, this is such a metaphor for their lives."
  • "Well fuck her. I'm done with mamas. and stand-ins for mamas. I am parent free, and proud."
  • "God. This is the loneliest place I've ever been and I lived in a tree for eight months."
  • "Hey, you know who made up that never snitch bullshit? People who probably deserved to be snitched on."
  • "You really wanna be callin' me a lady-man when I got a fistful of your hair in my hand?"
  • "Here's the thing about mamas. They're only mamas as long as they got kids."
  • "I just got word that I'm taking over your job."
  • "I've masturbated. There was this statute of Jesus that was especially ripped. That was my guy."
  • "I do like you down on your knees."
  • "It's not the dying that's hard. It's that I have to do it here."
  • "There's too many people in here. It's making the air feel weird."
  • "You're still hot. I mean you're a horrible person, but you're hot as hell."
  • "We keep the fence between us, but we can all see each other."
  • "If you want to assassinate someone, vision is a basic requirement. It's like step 1, pick a person to kill. Step 2, kill the right person."
  • "I will potato her at a future time."
  • "The trick is to imagine the bugs being bugged by you. You can’t give away your power."
  • "Why do girls like it when men call them sluts during sex? Or bitches? Or dirty whores who love cum?"
  • "The world is better in black and white. And red."
  • "I ain't her keeper."
  • "Six months old, and she shits like a human."
  • "And once you rip it off, all we are to each other is scars."
  • "Are you saying mouths evolved to give blowjobs?"
  • "We all think we're the good guys."
  • "Once you know Santa Claus isn’t real, it’s all downhill from there."
  • "So it’s a woman thing. It’s always a woman thing."
  • "It’s not just sex. It’s love. It’s two people connecting…with four other people…and aliens."
  • "Clarity is important. You should be meticulous with your words."
  • "The hot one's back."
  • "Because a doughnut thats selling doughnuts is basically a slave trader."
  • "Thug life has turned you cold."
Fic: Learning Who You Are

Boy band member!Blaine/not famous!Kurt. When Kurt meets a cute guy in a coffee shop, the outcome is a little more than he was expecting. Mentions of Finchel, slight age difference (20/18).

~2600 words, PG-13ish, fluff.

Kurt was so excited he was legitimately worried he was going to explode.

“It’s tomorrow!”

“Oh my God, I know!” Rachel replied, actually jumping up and down beside him in line at the Lima Bean. “We’re twenty-eight hours away from seeing New Directions live and in person!”

They both squealed, earning a couple of judgmental glances from the other customers. Kurt just scowled back, unwilling to let them ruin his mood.

“And we’ve got floor seats, too,” Kurt said, sighing dreamily. “Have I ever mentioned how grateful I am for your near-encyclopedic knowledge of pop music history?”

“Only about fifty times since I won the tickets,” Rachel said with a smirk. “Funny how you never appreciated it while I was talking about the musicality of our set lists in Glee before.”

“To be fair, it was also ninety degrees that day,” Kurt said. “I didn’t plan on falling asleep.”

“I know, I know,” Rachel said, patting his arm. “Now order your drink before this barista hates us forever.”

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anonymous asked:

In keystone motel saphy refers to Ruby as "he" when she talks with Steven in the (freezing) room in english dub, yk?

No she doesn’t. If you’re referring to the line “He’s not going to like that it’s square” the he in question is Steven, not Ruby.

Just in case, have a transcript of the scene between Sapphire and Steven in the motel.

-Attilee

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