i am going to bed for real now

“Now then… where’s the real thing?”

The urge to do a panel redraw I’ve been wanting to do for a while hit me at like 2 am and so here we are. I know I got his hand wrong-ish but by the time I realized what happened it was too late to put in the effort to save it lmao…

Do not repost or use anywhere without proper credit. Asked permission is preferred.

Original:

how i deal with nightmares:

prevention:

1. establish a neutral or positive bedtime routine. this means that i cut out things that caused me any amount of stress before bed (yes including social media and talking to people) and i replaced them with neutral or positive experiences like reading a book, getting out my clothes for the next day, and taking a bath. some kind of routine that happens every night about 1-2 hours before bed to wind down is really helpful for nightmares. stress adds to the chance of having one, so reduce that where ever possible. it might be hard to not login or not answer messages, but its worth it in the long run.

2. watch what you drink! i know that if i drink a ton of water before bed i will have a nightmare and wake up to pee. drink water earlier in the day to prevent this.

3. hunger is a big one, too! i will have a nightmare if im really hungry and i will wake up and need to eat. if you are hungry before bed, eat a light snack. it can really help.

4. temperature of the room. if my room is too hot or too cold, i will have a nightmare. adjust the temperature so you arent sweating but arent too cold. this is different for everyone so it might take some trial and error.

5. using mediation or asmr. this is something that has been foolproof for me, and i know other people who have used it with success. so on youtube there are tons of guided meditations and asmr videos that go through neutral or positive things like “journey to jupiter” or “long train ride with conductor” and they last for a while and you can fall asleep listening to them and focusing on them instead of ruminating on nightmares or trauma.

6. make a list of coping thoughts that you can read for when you have a nightmare. keep this by your bed each night so you can read it if you need to. examples: “i have had this nightmare many times, and each time i have survived. it was only that same old nightmare again, i know i can deal with it. i know that X is not really happening, it is just that nightmare again. i know that my trauma is in the past and this nightmare is just a symptom.” you can also read this before going to bed to remind yourself that it is a symptom and will not harm you in the present.

what to do after you have the nightmare:

1. immediately orient to the present. this could be looking at a clock and saying to yourself “it is X day of X month of X year. i am safe and present to this moment. this clock tells me that the trauma is not happening again and that i am safe in my bed.”  you can adjust what you say to fit your own needs but the important part is that you orient to now.

2. grounding with a soft object. go out and get a new soft object with no memories or feelings attached to it. you can touch and hold it and remind yourself that it is new and a safe object. “this is my soft bunny that i bought especially to soothe me after nightmares. this bunny proves to me that the nightmare wasnt real and that i am safe here with it.” 

3. grounding by going outside or opening a window. sometimes the rush of cold air can pull you out of the nightmare and back into the present. heck, even a nice cup of tea out on the porch can be the perfect remedy for the nightmare. be mindful by saying things like “i notice how cool this air feels on my skin. i can hear lots of crickets chirping outside. i can see that the moon and stars are bright tonight. i can almost taste how sweet the night air is. i can smell the pretty flowers outside.” and continue to name as many things as possible to prevent nightmare rumination.

4. read your list of coping thoughts many times over and focus completely on them.

5. sometimes it can help to write them down or to track them. try to go about this with a curious mind and see what you can learn from the nightmares. perhaps it is stress from school, or a fear about an upcoming appointment. these common life stressors can combine with ptsd nightmares, so it can be worth it to see if theres anything else going on. tracking the nightmares can give a sense of control and can help with the overwhelm feeling.

anonymous asked:

Because of you, I've started writing FanFiction, in my head before going to bed, of Lance somehow ending up back on Earth a few years after them leaving and Mullet Instructor finding him. Instead of the Lance he knew, this is a battle hardened man that doesn't understand how he's back on Earth. What have you done to me?

FEED ME!! FEED ME WITH YOUR FIC!!! I NEED IT!!!!!!!

And I’ll call him Roy. my blond mullet<3

And you’re welcome. Now you are on the ship where the characters don’t even talk to each other. But here I am making things like they are a real couple.

Political Animals-Part 12

This is an A/B/O AU.  You are the Omega artist daughter of Naomi Novak, a world-class heart surgeon who is running for Mayor of New York City.  After a meeting where your mother’s advisers call you a “liability”, she tells you that if you don’t do as your told she will cut you off.  You storm out and wind up in a bar a few blocks away.

The hottest Alpha you have EVER laid eyes on with a scent so mouthwatering you’re practically drooling offers to buy you a drink.  It’s just a drink, right? What do you have to lose? Only everything.

Characters: Omega! Reader, Beta! Naomi Novak, Alpha! Castiel Novak, Omega! Meg Novak, Claire Novak, Jimmy Novak, Alpha! Sam Winchester, Beta! Dean Winchester, Alpha! John Winchester, Omega! Jo Harvelle

Big thanks to @moansmisha  for letting me use some of her ideas from this post.

A/N: So I was having trouble deciding if I should write this or the next part of the Contest. I decided to ask my pal Leigh ( @skybinx-blog ) to decide for me. She picked this.  So here ya go, Binx!

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

Parts in bold are text messages

The first thing I remember were the voices.  One of them was Sam’s, and he sounded upset.  I could tell he clearly wasn’t happy with what the other person was telling him.  I struggled to follow the conversation but all I heard were bits and pieces. “…….very lucky…….”   “……concussion……”  “…arm fracture…”

I tried to open my eyes, but everything hurt.  I couldn’t identify specifically where the discomfort was coming from. The more I tried to focus, the more I felt the saturating, all-encompassing pain.  I couldn’t hold back my groans of distress.

“I have something that will help with the pain.” a different voice said. I felt a cool numbness, and I struggled to stay awake, but the tide pulled me under, and I finally gave in.

Keep reading

hiatus (or deleting)

i don’t really know how to start this post tbh. i’ve been on this site for about 5 or 6 years and it’s been a big part of my life, has educated me about a lot of issues and made me the open-minded tolerant person i am today, but it’s also one of the reasons why my life is so messed up now, along with video games, the good old dépréssión™ and a shit ton of other mental fuckery.

i’m honestly so, so, so close to ending my life and i can’t go on like this. i don’t have anyone i can vent to or anyone who cares about my problems and i need to build myself a supportive environment (in real life!) where people don’t just want me to be upbeat and fun until i show my symptoms. i can’t do that if i stay in bed all day blogging, playing or chatting online. all my time is spent in front of a screen, be it pc, laptop, tv or phone and i have to stop this, i have a serious problem and i know i’m addicted to games and internet.

 i literally don’t go outside at all, unless i absolutely have to, i don’t do chores, i barely manage to keep up with hygiene and i’m not really “living” all due to my depression and the fact that i cope by escaping real life by stimulating my brain all day, nonstop. in order to lead a healthy life i have to completely distance myself from social media/internet/video games and start reading, exercising, going out, meeting people and drawing again. i know it’ll be hard, but it’s better than wanting to die.

i’ll also start working as an apprentice soon since i’m applying for several jobs right now, so pls send all the good vibes and prayers because i’m really late.. i might come online and post updates from time to time, but i’m afraid that’s gonna be it.. if i can’t stay away from tumblr, i’ll have to delete my blog. i can’t afford to keep getting sucked into this hell like i did after 7 months of therapy in a mental hospital last year.

lastly, i want to thank everyone who’s been with me since the start, and my friends who i either met along the way or just recently. thank you for making my tumblr experience the best it could be.

anonymous asked:

Roadhog plans and elaborate hiest but is iffy on details. He tells Jamison to wait just 20 minutes before he enters the building. He's pacing after the first 5 minutes, bored out of his mind by 10 minutes it feels like an enetnity has passed and he can't wait anymore. He goes inside to help. What he finds is a mall, closed after hours and a trail of rose petals. He follows them to a small table set up nice beside a fountain, it has a red table cloth on it and funny looking food. Tbc

Roadhog expected Junkrat not to make it the whole 20 minutes, so he was prepared ahead of time. Wearing a nice suit with a red tie and flowers. Rat bubbles up with excitement, he likes the thought of going on a real date with Roadhog. After they eat they enjoy the luxury of having a whole mall to themselves, they play in the arcade a lot, they feed each other chocolate and drag a couch over to the TV section to watch the same movie on 6 different screens. Then go mess up every bed they find ;)

how i am reading this now aaaaaa ♥! 

okay maybe I’m overanalyzing it but Tyra Sanchez (black), bitch maybe ¾ of the season, yet opens up towards the end. is hated by most fans. “didnt deserve to win”. gets so much shit to the point she can’t take anymore and when she finally snaps, she’s “supposed to be a role model” even though she said something she shouldn’t have, much worse has been said to her. now look at raven (white, or at least light-skinned, I’m. not completely sure). complete bitch 100% of the season. even at the reunion. loved. fan favorite. “robbed”. “real winner of s2”. now I love raven as much as any other drag fan, but isn’t it a little weird how she wasn’t treated the same way Tyra was ? both were bitches most of the show to almost everyone , yet raven gets the praise and love while Tyra is consistently put down, made fun of, even called racial slurs??!!

Neverland

AN: Chapter 1 and 2 were posted separately, but this is the WHOLE fic (chapter 3 included). I don’t know why, but it feels like it belongs all together. Don’t ask me to explain it, because I totally can’t. It just does.

Summary: Neverland is more than a place of adventure and eternal youth. To Lucy, Neverland is home. [NaLu] [Rated T] [Peter Pan AU]

Read it of ff.net

I am a lost boy from Neverland

Usually hanging out with Peter Pan

And when we’re bored we play in the woods

Always on the run from Captain Hook

“Run, run, lost boy, ” they say to me

Away from all of reality

Neverland is home to lost boys like me

And lost boys like me are free

Neverland is home to lost boys like me

And lost boys like me are free”

–“Lost Boy”, Ruth B.


The first time she sees him she thinks she is dreaming. He is a mere shadow dancing on the moon, his silhouette growing bigger and bigger until he is framed by her bedroom window with a back drop of inky night and bright stars. She blinks, slow and with eyes still heavy with sleep, and he is gone. 

In the morning she thinks that the vision of a pink haired boy must be derived from her loneliness.

The house she grew up in is no longer the home she once knew. It hasn’t been since her mother died. The bustling household has turned stale, the rooms quiet. Mrs. Spetto, her governess, has been fired - the cook as well. The maid only comes once a week now, to dust and do her father’s laundry. Lucy looks forward to her visits, even though she is ignored in favor of getting chores done. It breaks up the monotony of her days. 

At night, usually after dark, her father comes home. He doesn’t say hello, doesn’t ask about her day, instead he walks up the stairs and to his study. He shuts the door behind him. He goes to bed after she has fallen asleep, and leaves for work - or wherever else he goes - before she wakes. She can’t remember the last time they had a conversation. The most she ever hears from him is the sound of his pen scratching against parchment that leaks through the cracks in the copper keyhole.

Still, she is lucky. She is not blind to the children begging outside her front door. She sees them, filthy and dressed in rags, through her bedroom window. She knows that while she is housed by a roof and ornately decorated walls, their home consists of alleyways and makeshift boxes. Many of their lungs are blackened by soot and coal from working at the factories, she can hear it in the way some of the older children cough. As lonely as she is, she knows things can be far, far worse. 

Still - she knows that things can be far better as well. 

Keep reading

William Nylander - Real pucks

Hi! I love your blog! Here’s this weird thing about me: elevators give me anxiety but so do stairs. So I was hoping to get imagine with Will Nylander were he is reader’s boyfriend and they have to use stairs and he is aware of the anxiety and takes care of her and tries to make it easier for her and is just super comforting and nice?:)

Author’s Note: I HATE elevators! I always hold on to the rail and close my eyes until I know the door is open. They give me panic attacks so I know what you mean. -Julianne 

When William asked you out for dinner you din’t think anything could go wrong until, you two realized that the elevator to the restaurant was broken. Which meant you two had to take the…the stairs. 

For “normal” people this wouldn’t be a bad thing but for you if felt like the end of the world. When you we’re little you had a bad memory with stairs and ever since than you just never liked them. 

William looked at you and saw the face on you. you felt his warm hand grab your cold one. He placed a sweet kiss on your cheek before walking towards the first flight of stairs. 

“When Alex and I we’re little we use to pretend to sleep, until we knew everyone was a sleep then we would get up and sneak down stairs and play floor hockey. Well one night Alex thought we should use a real puck. So he goes into my dad’s hockey bag and grabs a hockey puck and places it in the middle of the floor. 

You couldn’t help look at William’s face know that this story was going to have a good ending to it.

“Alex’s looks at me and say the first one to hit the puck into the garbage can wins. I take the first shot and miss, than Alex goes. Instead of hitting the garbage can he hits the window. It makes a huge BANG!” He smiles at you.

You couldn’t help but smiling imagining his mom and dad rushing downstairs wondering what the hell was going on.

“So down come’s dad “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! He said Alex looks like he’s out to piss himself and me being the older brother I took the blame. I puffed out my chest and said “Daddy, I wanted to play with a real puck, so I took one of yours and I might have shot it out the window. I’m sorry.” William said laughing.

“What did your dad said next?”

“You two can play with real pucks in the morning not at 12 am in the morning, now go to bed.” 

“That’s it?” 

“That’s it.”

“Did you get to play with real puck in the morning?”

“We did and we got ice cream after.” 

“Do you have a reservation sir?” The hostess said.

“Nylander.” William said.

“Wait did we just climb all the stairs?” You asked in shocked that you never even noticed.

“We did.” William said leaning down to kiss your lips.

“Thank you for being so wonderful.”

-Julianne

Originally posted by queenevagutowski

His Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 7

Warning;Sexual content..

“I couldn’t control my thoughts or my mouth”

Hailey’s Pov

... Next Morning…

I had a banging headache, i ran to the bathroom and threw up every disgusting drink i drank last night into the toilet.

I felt like complete shit, this must be what it feels like when you’re hungover.

There is no way i’m going to school today unless i want to be sick and i don’t.

I got up after being sick for the second time and then i got back into bed but then my mum came in

“ Up time sweetie” she never calls me that.

“ I’m not going, i have a terrible headache and i just been sick in the bathroom please let me stay off” I wasn’t one for taking time off school but i knew my mum would let me off it.

She came over and put her hand on my head

“ You are warm, okay you can stay off but stay in bed okay i have a meeting this morning so i’m going now but ill phone to check up on you”

i mumbled “ Okay” and she left.

i texted Lauren and Sophie that i’m sick they texted back telling that they were gonna call to see how i was after school.

i really do love them

i got back into bed and snuggled back in bed, i started thinking about what has happened the past couple of days..

The way Luke makes me feel i have never felt that way before but he doesn’t like me and he never will.

he is very confusing, i closed my eyes in hope i would fall back asleep again.

hoping to forgot all about Luke hemmings and his lips.

I woke up to the sound of someone throwing stones at my window.

Whoever it is better fuck off.

I got up out of bed not caring what i look like, i still felt shit i opened my curtains and opened my window and shouted down

“ WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I looked down to see Luke standing there.

Oh shit what is he doing here? and why was he throwing stones at my window?

shouldn’t he be at school or fucking someone?

“ Let me in” he said back was he insane i do not want to see him today.

“ No go away” i said back to him

“ Let me in or i will kick down your door” Was he for real? he wouldn’t would he??

i was in no mood for it so i turned around and walked out of my room and walking down stairs going to unlock the front door as much as i would have loved to see Luke break down my door i don’t think my mum would like that very much.

Once i unlocked my door Luke came rushing in.

Sure come right in why don’t you.

“ What do you want?” I said to Luke feeling annoyed i just wanted to go back to bed.

“ Why aren’t you at school?” Why does he care why i’m not at school? i swear this boy needs to make up his mind because he is fucking up mine.

“ Why do you care?” I said back at him, Luke walked closer to me until i my back hit the door ugh i’m not doing this again i feel like shit

“ Answer my question” Luke said he was so close but i was in no mood for it

“ i think its called having a hangover have you ever had one? if so you would know how i feel and i want to be alone so if you would so kindly fuck off that would be great” I opened my front door for Luke waiting for him to go but he didn’t he just smirked at me and then he said

“ Your first hangover” great observation ugh why does he have to annoy me of all days.

“ Please go” i said but Luke made no movement so i gave up i held my hands up in the air and said

“ Okay i give up just don’t steal anything i’m going back to bed” I started walking up the stairs and i could hear Luke following me ugh this boy never gives up i swear what does he want?

it can’t be me can it? of course not.

I reached my room and i could feel Luke behind me but i didn’t care i was too tired and sore to care.

I got into bed and covered myself in the covers.

I felt my bed dip and i looked up to see Luke sitting down on my bed looking at me

“ What do you want?” i said i’m so confused at what he wants

“just to spend time with you” he said

my eyes opened wide at his words, did i hear him right?

Was he for real? he wants to spend time with me?

“ well i need sleep so i’m not going to be much fun” i said to him closing my eyes, as much i as i would love to spend time with him i just don’t feel well.

I felt my bed move but it wasn’t because Luke was leaving it was because he was straddling me i am this close | | to hitting him right now.

“ Can i be your first?” Luke asked

He looked serious but i didn’t know what he meant, i hope he’s not talking about sex right now because i am not going to have sex with him never in a million years..

“ What?” I said to Luke i wanted to hear him say it again

“Hahahaha your face when I said that” Luke laughed and then got up off me.

what the fuck? he can’t just play with my feelings like that

i stood up from the bed and said “Get out”

Luke didn’t move and then i felt like i was going to be sick again so i ran into the bathroom leaving Luke with a strange look on his face and then i threw up into the toilet.

i felt Luke rub my back and lift my hair, something i didn’t expect him to do.

once i was finished i sat back from the toilet holding my head in my hands

“Your first hangover is always the worst” he said making me look up at him

we were sitting facing each other in the bathroom,he looked so cute right now, his piercings were missing.

i wondered if his tongue piercing was missing but there’s no way he was going to kiss me now.

i just stared at him not knowing what to say and then he spoke again

“How’s your head?” he asked

why is he being like this all of a sudden?

he was cocky just a minute ago..

“Why are you here Luke?” i asked him

he strugged his shoulders not saying anything, he really is confusing.

“You should go back to school” i said to him closing my eyes and leaning my head back

i have such a headache i need to sleep.

“Yeah..” was all he said and then he got up and left.

i sat on the bathroom floor for another minute and then i got up because i needed to lay down in bed.

Luke’s Pov

i stood outside Haileys house not knowing what to do.

i didn’t want to leave but she wanted me to leave.

i don’t know what is going on with me lately, when i’m near Hailey i just want to kiss her and be near her.

this is crazy all these ideas are floating around in my head and then another part of me is thinking.. What the fuck Luke this isn’t you.

but maybe it is.. or it could be

i took one last look at her house and then i walked down the driveway, i really didn’t want to go back to school but there’s nothing to do.

i could call Calum and get him and Michael to ditch school but i don’t feel like hanging out with them.

then an idea came into my head.

i must be going out of my mind but i know i can get Hailey to like me after this.

hopefully.

Haileys Pov

12:00 the clock read as i woke up.

i slept for an hour thats all.

at least my sore head was gone, i rolled over onto my back but then i heard a noise from downstairs.

what the hell?

i got up out of bed and opened my door to see if i could hear the noise again and i did.

what the actual fuck.. is someone in my house?

i’m so scared.

i looked around my room for protection but i had nothing so i just lifted a shoe and started making my way downstairs slowly.

it sounded as if someone was looking for something. i heard the person curse but i couldn’t really hear their voice.

fuck i’m being robbed.

what a day to be off school and to have a hangover.

as i got closer my heart started racing more and more, i just hit the last step on the stairs and then i heard a door slam.

oh my fucking god.

i’m gonna end up dead.

there was an umbrella at the door so i ran quickly and lifted it and held it up in case someone was to come up from behind me or something.

there could be more than one of them.

i hope not.

as i neared the kitchen door it opened, i quickly reacted and hit the person who came out from the kitchen more than once.

“Argh what the fuck it’s Luke” the person said

i stopped breathing.

it’s Luke?

what the hell?

i was holding his head where i hit him but i didn’t feel bad about it because he fucking scared me

“why are you here? and how did you get in? i heard you leave..” i said to him although i don’t know if he understood i said it quick

Before he could say anything I walked into the kitchen because I smelt food.

Not just any food I smelt Mcdonalds food. I was correct.

On my kitchen table was 3 Mcdonalds bags.

I didn’t understand.. Why did Luke do this?

“ I tried looking for some plates but I couldn’t” Luke said from the door of the kitchen.

I turned around to look at him, he was looking down at the ground.

“ Why?” Is all I said back.

that was all i could manage to say..

he strugged his shoulders and said “ this is what i eat when i’m hungover and i was hungry as well but i didn’t know what you liked so i got most of what was on the menu”

my eyes widened at his words, i couldn’t believe it.

i wanted to kiss him, i couldn’t help but smile at Luke but he didn’t look at me apparently something on the floor was really interesting so i decided i would make the first move.

i walked closer to him and pulled his face up so he would look at me and then i stood up onto my tip toes and kissed him.

He didn’t kiss back at first but then he pulled me against him and he kissed me hard. He turned us and pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me.

“ Food is getting cold” Luke said between kisses.

He was right and I was hungry.

I let go of him and he let go off me and I went to get the plates.

“ The plates are in here” I said opening the cabinet on the left.

Luke looked at me and I couldn’t control myself I just burst into laughter, I stopped laughing when Luke came up to me and pushed me into the counter and said

“ You think that’s funny princess” I didn’t know what to say I just looked down at his lips and then back up to his eyes, he was smirking at me the fucker.

I pushed him off me and I mocked his voice “ Food is getting cold” I tried my best to sound like him but I didn’t.

it’s the first time he’s ever called me princess and i liked it.

i felt special but it probably says it to other girls so i thought nothing of it and i got the plates out the places.

Luke carried them over to the table, i was going to do it but he took them off me and stuck his tongue out at me as he did it.

why do i like him??

“ Omg how much did you buy? I asked because omg he must have bought the whole fucking shop.

” I told you I didn’t know what you like so I tried to buy as much as I thought you might like" Luke said while lifting our food out.

I was lost for words, no boy has ever done something like this before for me

We set all the food on to the plates I know I said I was hungry but there was a lot of food I know I will not be able to eat it all but I feel bad if I don’t because Luke spent so much money.

Once we got to my room Luke sat down in the middle of my bed and I sat up so my back was up against the pillows.

We didn’t talk we just ate and it wasn’t awkward usually I find eating in front of people awkward because most of the people I eat in front of know about my problem so they always watch what I eat but Luke doesn’t know and it’s nice to finally just sit and be comfortable with someone.

After 2 burgers and a lot of fries later I was full.

Luke ate more than me and he was still eating when I stopped I don’t know where he puts it all because he is really skinny,I sat my plate on the ground and layed down on my bed feeling full.

i’m hoping i can keep this food down, i don’t feel hungover anymore but at the back of my mind the thoughts of how much i have actually ate is floating around but i didn’t want to worry about that right now.

“ How can you eat so much?” I asked Luke while lying down it’s been 10 minutes since I finished and he is still eating and it doesn’t look like he is finished.

“ I’m hungry, i’m starting to feel full so I’m going to stop now” Luke said while setting his plate at the end of my bed.

“ Your only full now? You have had like 4 burgers I mean where do you put it all?” I said sitting up and I went over to him and patted his belly yup I can still feel his 6 pack.

He laughed and stuck out his stomach.

We were lying on my bed talking about silly stuff.

it just seems so natural laying here under Lukes arm talking to him.

Luke was rubbing my leg and his other arm was around my shoulders and I was leaning into him it was like we were together but I know we aren’t.

not that i want to be..

right?

Luke sat up and turned on his side so he could look at me, he pulled me closer and kissed me.

I happily kissed him back.

Our make out got more heated and then he got up so he was sitting on me. He started kissing down my neck and my hips lifted off the bed I couldn’t help but feel something weird going on down my middle part.

Whenever my middle brushed against his it made me feel something I have never felt before and I liked it. I felt Luke suck on my neck and then I felt his teeth graze my neck is he giving me a love bite? I didn’t really care because it felt amazing.

Luke stopped kissing my neck and he looked up at me and said

“ do you like me being this close baby”

all I could do was nood my head because It was true I was enjoy this. Luke shuffled down my legs and then he pulled my hoodie up until it got to my boobs and he layed down on me and started kissing my stomach over and over.

Normally I would have been laughing because I have tickles here but I couldn’t do anything other than stare down at Luke.

He looked up at me and he has his hands on the sides of my jeans he looked at me and said

“ Can I?” I knew what he meant and I would have said no but I found myself nodding my head before I could think about saying no.

Luke pulled down my shorts not breaking eye contact with me, things were getting serious now. I was going to be completely naked in front of him and he’s not in his bedroom he’s right on top of me.

once my shorts where somewhere in my room Luke grabbed my left leg and lifted up and then he started kissing down the side of my leg I could help but moan I didn’t know I could moan but when I did Luke stopped kissing my leg which I felt disappointed at but Luke kissed me hard and then he said

“ That was so hot baby” and then he carried on kissing up my leg and when he got to the inside of my thigh that is when I lost all control my back was lifting of the bed and I couldn’t help but moan again and again.

Luke stopped when he got to my middle part and I opened my eyes to look at him. He looked at me and pulled on my hoodie and said

“Off” so many questions were going around in my head but they didn’t stop me. I sat up and I lifted my hoodie off exposing my bra.

Once the hoodie was off I threw it on the ground and I looked at Luke and he smirked at me and sat up and kissed me.

He pushed me back on the bed I felt his arm come round me and then he unhooked my bra. He pulled the straps down first slowly and then he threw the bra away.

I was now fully exposed to him and I didn’t feel shy I felt confident.

Here I was laying on my bed almost naked in front of Luke Hemmings the boy who until a couple of days ago made my life hell and now he is all I think about. I don’t know what is going to happen.. Does he want to have sex with me? Do I even want to have sex with him?

i have thought about it but i know who he is, he doesn’t do relationships and i’ve never had a boyfriend before.

He kissed me and then he started to kiss down my neck and then he moved down until he got to my boobs, my stomach was going mad I don’t know what this feeling was but I didn’t want it to end.

“ Can I make you feel good?” Luke said while looked up at me.

I held my breath for a seconds before I answered “ Yeah”….

He laughed and said “ Good, I’m not going to fuck you I just want to pleasure you”

I felt disappointed that he didn’t want to fuck me and I didn’t know what he meant by pleasure me until he hooked his fingers on the waist of my pants and pulled them down.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

This was really happening…

I was fully exposed to him and I enjoy it I shouldn’t enjoy this I should kick him out but I can’t and I don’t want to. I was a girl I knew how to shave thank god I shaved 3 days ago or this would be embarrassing.

“ You smell so good” Luke said and then he started kissing me hard it was weird kissing him without his tongue piercing in but I wasn’t complaining he started grinding his crotch against mine and I moaned and arched my hips of the bed I could feel something deep inside me and it was the best feeling in the world.

“You like that baby?” Luke breathed in my hear, I moaned again and nodded my head.

I couldn’t speak all I could do was nod my head.

“ We will get to that soon baby let me make you feel good” Before I could respond I felt Luke’s hand on my groin.

He kept moving his hand and I could feel something building inside me ready to explode this was the best feeling in the world.

“Are you close baby?” Luke breathed in my ear and I swear it was the hottest thing ever I closed my eyes and moaned and nodded my head.

I could feel something wet between my legs and then I felt Luke insert a finger into my vigina. I arched of the bed because OMG!

he moved his fingers slowly inside of me, i couldn’t control my thoughts or my mouth. I couldn’t control my moaning this was the best feeling in the world.

Luke attached his lips to my neck sucking the same spot and then i felt something build up inside of me.

his fingers sped up and fuck i thought i was in heaven.

“ You’re so wet baby He said and he started to move his finger inside me and I felt the wetness between my legs and I have never experienced anything like that.

Luke hemmings is fingering me.

"Let go..” he whispered and i came just by his voice.

once i calmed down from my high i opened my eyes to see Luke smirking at me, then he pulled his fingers out and he sucked them and cleaned them.

i couldn’t stop watching him.

“my favourite taste” Luke said and i almost came again with just his words..

he got up of me and i could see his boner, he put his hand down his pants and said “ I have to take care of this”

Luke said he was going to the bathroom and he closed the door over when he got inside.

I got out some leggings and a t shirt and of course a clean pair of pants and I put my bra back on and threw my dirty clothes in the washing basket.

Luke was still in the bathroom I knew what he was doing but I didn’t feel weird about it.

i couldn’t believe that i just got fingered by Luke hemmings.

it was the best thing i have ever experienced, i want to do it again..

no correction..

i want him to do that again to me.

what an interesting Thursday night.

So guys what did you think?

i hope you liked it,it took a while for me to get it finished but i finally did.

let me know what you thought

dont forget to vote and comment below

follow me on tumblr and wattpad

until next time

thank you

xxx

evakerlitvet  asked:

First thing they surprised us with was Jace/random girl in bed. Then Climon's [endless] scenes which made me disgusted(and you know why). now as the new promo dropped hints at us, we're going to see Climon in bed as well.. when we didnt even get to see malec's proper kiss. Every. Freaking. Time. They barely put their hands on each others waists. They haven't kissed like in the first season since the second one started. I'm exchaused from these shy, lips-barely-touching kisses. So disrespectful.

I dunno how to explain this, pumpkin, but I am kinda chill? Like… let me get this straight: Of course the whole Climon thing and how the promotion team tries to desperately shove that couple in our faces? I mean… do they actually know their audience??? Because 99,9% of the fandom does not want this. AT ALL. I do get that once they started to go down that road they need to finish it but can they just stop acting like this is a fandom fave and we all want it? No, thank you very much.

And that aside, we all wouldn’t be so annoyed with this couple (it’s super boring and I personally feel uncomfortable watching their scenes like..duh…Clary and Simon are brother and sister, bye!; it also adds to the fact that apparently a girl and a boy can’t be just friends for once) if they just stopped showing us all these intimate scenes but on the other hand neglect their canon interracial lgbt+ couple. That’s the problem and why so many fans are just simply annoyed. Same with Jace and that random sex scene in 2x07. (Again, 2x07 was a mess from start to end, but yeah….)

That being said, I am actually fine with them not showing much of Malec. Maybe they learned to not spill everything. Or give away the only scene of Malec in the first ep. Sorry, I am a bit salty again, I apologize. 

Anyway, right now, as I said, I am chill. I somehow hope they have all learned from their mistakes, at least from 2x14 (?) on. Plus, this was a first teaser. That lasted for about 10 seconds. That’s what? 1/10000 of the whole season 2b? Then again, it had that 0.3 second long Malec kiss and I am sorry… that was so soft and tender and showed so much love like Climon never could and will. There’s that. 

What I am trying to say. As much as Climon and the pr attempts at trying to make this so cute and awesome and a fandom fave annoy me, there is always Malec. And I take every soft kiss and hand holding, face touching, forehead kiss or just them being domestic af over half-naked Climon who really give me nothing. At all. Besides, who knows what else they have in store for Malec? If they are again trying to sideline them, fandom will tell them. And not in a nice way, I assure you. But until then, let’s wait and see. ;)

How They’d Comfort you if you had a Nightmare

Jyn: She wouldn’t let you talk about it. She’s shush you and let you squeeze her hand as tightly as you need to. You thinking about itJyn would lay down with you and find a way to keep you from dwelling. She would tell you all the good things you have that you know are real. About all the people who love you and will keep you safe. She keeps on telling you until you fall asleep thinking about them. “Focus on what’s real. Dream about that”

Cassian: He’d turn on the lights and talk through it with you. He’d hug you and remind you that you did in fact, wake up. Everything runs it’s course, then you wake up and you’re safe. You fall asleep in his arms, so you can wake up and feel safe. “You’ll wake up, and I’ll be here”

Chirrut: He’d take you outside and let you feel the night air. He’d ask you to close your eyes and relax, to feel the night around you. He’d tell you the force is always around you and if you trust it it will protect you. Together you’d pray until you go back to bed and sleep peacefully “I am one with the force and the force is with me”

Baze: Asks what you battled in the dream, whether it was mental or physical. You’ve survived in real life until now, and you’re in control. Baze reminds you that you’re strong and anything is beatable. “Choose your own dream”

Bodhi: Bundles you up in blankets and brings you some water or anything you want. You tell him about the nightmare, and he tells you about some of his to comfort you.  He doesn’t let you feel alone and wants you to know he’s there if you need him. You fall asleep holding hands. “We can take it on together”

K-2SO: “33 percent of dreams are bad”



Jeez I’m having a bit of a block today so once again I may redo this one again. But pls send more requests!! I love my babies

Lost In Star Wars

Part 1: Lost in Poe Dameron’s room

Summary: Poe Dameron x reader. Lost in Austen au. You love Star Wars. You love everything to do with it. You love all the characters except one. You know which one I mean. One day you hear a noise coming from the bedroom in your flat and you go to investigate.

A/N: Lost in Austen was a 4 part mini series for ITV on British tv. It was crazy and it was pretty much a reader insert. You can find it online. Darcy has a big hat. This will contain several new characters and is set just after TFA. Also i’ll mostly base this off just the movies because I don’t know much about the extended universe or anything else. This will be my first series that’s neato. Female pronouns. You live in England just because I wanted to make one single joke.

Tags: @lilrockstartitan145

It is a truth generally acknowledged that we are all longing to escape. You escape always to your favourite franchise, Star Wars. You’ve watched it so many times now that you dream of it and it’s like you’re actually there. It’s a galaxy you know so intimately, that you can see it and that you can touch it. You can see the Skywalkers, the lightsabers and that time Anakin was shirtless…….Woah there! You thought. Let’s take this down a little. Now where were you?

Keep reading

inspire me
do me a favor: kiss me until the sun comes up so i have something to write poems about.

i’m tired of writing about places that don’t exist, homes we built and watched burn. i’m tired of pretending that there were no fires; i’m tired of pretending that it doesn’t hurt.

i’m tired of writing letters that no one reads, i’m tired of giving everything to people who don’t love me.

you see things differently when you don’t have home to go back to. a bed is just a bed, an old piano is just cracked black and white keys, a person is just another body with too much potential to ruin you.

so let me love you now, slowly. i am ready to write about something real, something i can prove; i want to write novels about the way you look at me -and baby i can write until your name is inscribed on walls in foreign cities, until the words you say to me are tattooed on stranger’s hearts - but more than anything i want to be able to say that every word i write about you is true.

just give me some time. give me time to figure out how to come back from years of fiction, years of pretend. give me time and i promise, i’ll learn to hold on to the important things and let go of the rest. i’ll learn to breathe without the memories suffocating me.

and then i’ll write, and write, and write; and we’ll never die. 

when i was little i used to sleep with so many stuffed animals i had to tuck my sheets in tight on both sides so that i didn’t fall out of bed. i had to keep them all lined up because it wouldn’t be fair nor right if some of them got shoved to my feet deep under the covers, they all had to have their heads on a pillow so if i was the one falling out, so be it (i still feel this way, except now i only sleep with four + sometimes my real cats and i have a queen bed instead of a twin now, so there’s a lot more room).

before i log out of ffxiv at night i make my character go into her private room in the free company house and curl up on her bed

anyway what this says about me is that i am ultimately an absolute sappy nerd over inanimate objects and pixels

More than This-Stiles Stilinski (/Theo Raeken) {Part 16}

fdutladyli

[part 1- 15 / masterlist]


A/N: Part 16, a slight mess honestly. A mixture of angst and fluff and humor…i hope that you enjoy this! :) I also feel like this story is coming to an end…i don’t know when but it’ll happen.

*warnings* mentions of anxiety, mentions of death, alcohol, cursing..that’s it i think?


,,Look at me and tell me you never want to see me again.”

I don’t know why exactly now, but I started bawling like a baby. The fact that he had even thought that that was what I wanted. That I would never want to see him again. It was just so frustrating. I felt like he had absolutely no clue what was going on inside my head, like he just couldn’t figure out how I felt at all. To be fair, I couldn’t myself. The only thing I was sure of was that by no means, was that what I wanted.

Living in a world that Stiles Stilinski was not a part of? Impossible.

So I collapsed in his arms and for the second time that night, we just stood there, holding onto each other. He grabbed my waist so hard I felt as though he was going to crush it, but I didn’t mind. I gripped at his soaked shirt, trying to pull him closer. This time, no guilt was there. What we did, did not feel wrong. It was what we both needed in that moment. It was kind of messed up, we we’re sad and angry at each other and needed someone to comfort us but the only person who was able to give us the comfort we needed, was the person in front us. I felt like losing him, so I needed him to hold me. A light shade of pink, painted on my cheeks, when I felt him press a gentle kiss on the top of my head. He then whispered, his voice hoarse ,,I guess you don’t want that.”

I couldn’t help the tiny laugh that escaped my mouth, feeling a weight being lifted off my shoulders because in our fragile state, he was still able to make a joke. Remembering he must still be drunk, I loosened myself out of his hold.

,,We should probably go inside. You’re drunk, I’m exhausted, we’re soaking wet and it’s freezing cold.” I suggested, a small smile on my face to assure him I wasn’t pushing him away.

This situation was still so confusing, our moods seemed to constantly change, emotions shifting every minute. Maybe all it took was a night of sleep, so in the morning, we could make a rational decision. We were just too vulnerable right now.

Stiles nodded and lowered his gaze, then carefully took my hand before looking back up again, to see if I was okay with it. Instead of answering, I laced my fingers with his while we headed back inside.

When we opened the door, we were met with two curious pair of eyes, peaking out of the living room. Scott and Kira had already cleaned up the floor and when they saw us standing in the hallway, looking like we just took a fully clothed bath by the way, they both tensed up.

,,Are you guys…okay?” Kira asked hesitatingly, eyebrows raised.

I turned to look at Stiles, squeezing his hand briefly.

,,We’re going to be.”

Kira smiled at me and I smiled back, nodding as in I’ll tell you later.

Scott, who had disappeared upstairs came back with two fresh towels and handed them to us.

,,My mom just texted me that she isn’t coming home tonight, she’s staying at a friend’s house.”

,,Dude, she’s totally sleeping at Chris’” Stiles smirked, rubbing his hair with the white towel.

,,Yeah, I was aware of that, I just didn’t want to say it out loud, Dude.” Scott quickly snatched the towel away from Stiles and motioned for us to go upstairs.

,,Now go and get some clean clothes Stiles, but don’t you dare take my favorite shirt! Oh and (y/n), you can wear my clothes too. You can all sleep here tonight, I don’t want you and Kira to drive back home so late again.”

Kira tapped him on the shoulder. ,,And what do I sleep in? I didn’t bring pajamas, you said your mom would be home.”

Scott sighed. ,, I guess we’re all wearing my clothes tonight.”

Stiles and I laughed, which earned us surprised looks from our friends, but they soon joined us.

This moment, right here, that was gold. Me and my best friends all laughing together, being happy and content. It was something I almost forgot, something I missed and was glad to have back.

,,Well, I guess we should go to sleep. It has been a long night.” Kira suggested, Scott putting his arm around her shoulder and she cuddled into his side.

,,Yeah I’m sorry about that.” Stiles  said, rubbing the back of his neck.

,,Don’t worry about it. Go sober up in the guest bedroom. (y/n) can sleep in mine. At least the possibility that she’s going to throw up on my bed is smaller.”

Me and Stiles went up the stairs while the two lovebirds stayed in the living room, I was guessing they were going to sleep on the couch together.

We picked out some clothes out of Scott’s drawer, even though I felt slightly embarrassed wearing his clothes, especially in front of Stiles. It was also kind of weird since he was Kira’s boyfriend, but I knew it didn’t make her feel uncomfortable. I grabbed a big blue crew neck and some loose sweatpants, which Scott owned a ton of. I went to the bathroom to change while Stiles stayed in Scott’s room.

Quickly shimming out of the wet clothes, I almost tripped twice. When I had finally managed to put on fresh clothes I felt much better. I was already warming up. I hung the wet clothes on a rack next to the heater and looked in the mirror. Luckily I wasn’t wearing any makeup that could have smeared all over my face from the rain, because Kira dragged me out of bed and I had already removed it. But my hair was starting to curl since it was drying, so I still looked like a mess. A frizzy mess. I put my hair up in a loose bun, used the toilet and washed my hands. ( am I the only one who noticed that in fanfictions/imagines, the people NEVER have to use the toilet? Ever?)

Then I opened the bathroom door, got out, and headed straight to Scott’s room, assuming Stiles was already dressed.

Which of course, wasn’t the case.

Instead, he walked around the room, his wet hoodie stuck on his arms and face. He awkwardly tried to free himself, wiggling his arms. I tried my best not to laugh but when he stepped his foot at on edge of the bed and loudly cursed, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

He jumped when he heard my laugh and turned into the direction the sound was coming from. He couldn’t see me because his hoodie was blocking his vision.

,,Care to help me instead of just mocking me?” he said, his voice muffled by the fabric in front of his mouth.

,,Sorry, the sight was just too funny.” I giggled, already walking towards him to start the rescue mission.

I grabbed the sleeves and helped him pull of the hoodie, which turned out to be really hard because the wet fabric clung to his body. After a minute of pulling and tugging and wiggling, we were finally able to free him. For a moment we just looked at each other and laughed, but when the laughter died down, and my eyes turned downwards for a brief second I took a moment to fully realize that obviously he was shirtless and how close we were standing. Our gazes locked and my breath hitched.

Then he opened his mouth and murmured ,,How do you like this sight?” but not before noticing how my eyes flicked to his lips, which then turned into a wide grin.

Getting pulled out of whatever trance I was in, I slapped him across the chest.

,,Shut up, Idiot.” I said, trying my best to sound angry.

He just continued to laugh ,,I remember a similar situation to this. It ended up pretty interesting.”

Pictures and pieces flipped through my mind, memories of the time at the motel. My face flushed at the thought.

,,Put a shirt on Stilinski. I wanna go to bed.” I demanded, handing him the shirt he had previously picked out.

,,Am I invited?” he tilted his head and smirked. God he needs to stop doing this.

,,Yes actually.” I I let my hands glide up his chest until they rested on his shoulders. He looked surprised and swallowed hardly, his eyes focused on me.

With a swift motion, I turned him around, him now facing the door.

,,You’re invited to go sleep in the guest room. Alone.” I patted his shoulders and lightly pushed him forward, grinning proudly.

Stiles put on his shirt and turned around. ,,You’re a real fucking tease, princess.” He huffed, scratching the stubble on his jaw, something I found to be extremely attractive and was definitely a turn on, which I chose to ignore.

Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I responded ,,Deal with it.”

He just shook his head amused and then walked out of the room.

As he opened the door to the guest room, right across from Scott’s bedroom, I just watched him with a smile on my face, finally feeling it again.

Feeling that he is my best friend.

With that same smile on my face, I crawled into the bed, turned the lights off and slowly drifted off to sleep.

,,NO! PLEASE!”

Horrific screaming woke me up. I instantly turned on the lights, my eyes squinted, not yet adjusted to the brightness. When I could see clearly, I looked at the clock that hung on the wall in Scott’s room. Five A.M., I must have barely slept.

Then again, a loud scream ,,MOM! NO!” it was coming from the guest room, the familiar voice of Stiles, crying out.

Oh no, a nightmare, I thought.

I was already used to this, Stiles has been in my life ever since I can remember.

The first time it happened was when he was about eleven, his mom had died a few weeks ago. My parents were away for the weekend on a business trip, so they asked John ( I know his name was confirmed to be Noah recently but idc) if I could spent the days at their house, since Stiles and I were not just best friends, but his father was a very good friend of my parents at the time already.

We had stayed up until nine, watched scary movies and ate tons of curly fries. I remember us both falling asleep on the floor in front of the TV, only to wake up in the middle of the night to Stiles sniffling beside me, tossing around. Waking him up and asking him what was wrong, I’ll never forget his young freckled face, so innocent but filled with sorrow. All he said was ,,I miss my mommy.”

Then, my younger-self took his tiny hand in mine and told him everything was going to be okay. Thinking back, it still broke my heart. It was his first nightmare, but definitely not his last. Anxiety and panic attacks soon followed. But whenever something like that occurred, I was always there to comfort him.

I got out of bed and tip toed silently into the guest bedroom. The sun was starting to rise, the room was dim, a soft orange tone. Stiles was tossing and turning, the sheets crumbled and tangled around his legs. Carefully, I slipped into the bed, lying next to him. A light amount of sweat was glistening on his forehead, stains of tears on his face. He kept pushing around with arms and legs. I pressed my hand on his cheek, turning his face to me.

,,Stiles. It’s okay.” I whispered, repeating it louder when he wasn’t reacting. Suddenly his eyes jerked open, so much fear in them. His whole body was shaking. When he first saw me, he flinched, but after realizing it was me, his facial expression softened, and he relaxed, still breathing heavily. ,,Hey, I’m here.” I gently caressed his face. “I..i..h-had..” he stuttered, his voice shaky. I just nodded ,,I know. But it’s okay now.” Slowly his breathing slowed down, and I could feel his fear disappear.

We just laid there and looked at each other while he was calming down. My eyes felt heavy and I was growing more tired.

,,(y/n)?” Stiles whispered, his index finger drawing little circles on my cheekbone.

,,Mhm.” I cooed, his gently touch lulling me to sleep.

,,Will you stay?”

I didn’t answer, instead I cuddled up to him, laying my head on his chest and putting my arm around his torso.

He got the message, placing a soft kiss on my hair, a habit he had picked up just today, and resting his head against mine.

We fell asleep in each other’s arms, the last thing I heard being Stile’s steady heartbeat.

[part 17 here]


tagged: @ladylizzieofdarbyshire i forgot to tag you last time, this is my apology <3

@sweetvengeancee the sweetest girl ever, ily xx

@dutifullystrangekoala because you  appreciated a little detail in the story and i thought it was so cute that you messaged me about it! :)

@alexhmak i promised you i’ll update soon! :)

As sick as me (3)

A/N: Wooo. It took like for ever (Sorry) but here it is!
I um…i think this will be the last part
BUT before you kill me: i will continue this. This is a trilogy somehow leading to following pieces. So the Character and the whole situation will stay, just under another name~ i’ll let you know the new title when i figured one out and if you want to be tagged or have any special wishes, just let me know <3

Summary: You are a leader of a group, dealing with Negan. But basically having a character like him, you two tend to get along just fine. While you’re group is kind of scared and uncertain about the man and the whole deal, you secretively love his visits - and he makes sure he is there every time the saviors come along. You are his ‘highlight of the week’, as he puts it.

- More coziness, then seriousness, then smuttiness, idek. 
You’re basically going on a small hunt with Negan and it takes an unsuspected turn~

Pairing: Negan x reader

Warnings: Explicit language, typical Negan, sexual, smutty? Yeah somehow

“Hey…”
You awoke to his voice. It made you shiver in delight, combined with his finger trailing your bare neck.
You turned around, moaning, now laying on your tummy, facing him.
His hand was carefully clawing around your neck, his fingers buried in your hair..
“Wake up sunshine,” he continued teasing.
You shifted again.
“Get your hot little ass up or I swear I’ll grit my teeth into it.”
“Why don’t you already?” you mumbled, half asleep.
“Why isn’t my cock between your lips?” he countered, smirking.
“Because I wanted to let you at least try to please me before I would make you come so hard you’d soak the bed,” you continued teasing, grinning at him as you rolled on top of him.
“Mmmh Honey….Come on, show me,” he said, his eyes clouded with lust.
You lazily raised your hand to take a long look at your watch.
Still more asleep than awake, you realized how late it was.
“Babe…I will screw you so fucki-”
“WHAT THE FUCK NEGAN.” You suddenly gritted your teeth, staring him down. “I’ve been sleeping for 3 hours?!?”
He chuckled, holding you down, pressing your body on his.
“Oops,” he grinned, his hands sliding down to your butt. “It’s just so damn rare for me to be able to stare at every inch of you without you trying to kill me.”
“Fuck off, Negan…I said one hour. Get out of bed, we gotta hurry.” You rolled off him, starting to fumble with your hair.
“Why even…” he moaned in displeasure of losing your touch, turning to lay on his side, watching you.
“Because if you aren’t back in 3 hours your men will come looking for you.”
“Let them come. They’ll know I’m busy; they will hear you scream my name so loud they won’t even have to come into the building.” he smirked.
You stopped in your tracks, walking up to him.
“Stop being such a tease or I will make you pay for it,”you whispered, your face close to his as you pushed him into the mattress, your hand on his chest.
“Do you take credit cards?” he asked, a huge grin on his face, making him look a little dump.
“No I don’t. I want my money filthy and cash. Now get up before I get you out. I have a competition to win.” You were done playing and had gotten up, turning around again.
“Mmmmh you’re fired up for this, aren’t you…I love it,” he purred, watching your every move, again laying on his side.
“Hell yes I am,” you laughed, “I always am when it comes to beating you.”
“You won’t.”
“We’ll see, Negan. I’ll go take a shower real fast.”
“Alright,” he said, suddenly jumping out of your bed, following you to the bathroom door.
“Negan…” you grumbled, knowing he was behind you without having to turn around.
“Honey…?” he smirked.
Now you turned around, getting close again.
“Be a good boy, stay outside, and get me something to wear,” you admonished.
“From your closet?”
“No, the mall down town. Of course my fucking closet,” you groaned.
Negan wasn’t even complaining about your words.
He just stared at you, his eyes wide, licking his lips, his hands tugging and grabbing his trousers to keep himself under control.
“Anything?”
“Anything I can kill in, yes,” you answered, not able to keep your eyes from trailing down his body, down his naked chest up to the delicious bulge in his pants, biting your lip.

“You want me…don’t you…” he whispered; you shivered slightly.
You didn’t answer. Didn’t even look up at him.
“You want me to fuck you; you want me balls deep inside of you.” His voice got lower now, and he stepped even closer.
You blinked a few times. “Ye…Gotta go,” you corrected, rapidly finished your sentence, swirling around to disappear into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you.
“Y/N!” Negan growled, hammering against the door, teeth gritted. “DAMN YOU WOMAN.”

He wandered through your apartment for a while, looking at all the interesting things.
Hunting trophies, paintings, sculptures, knifes and blades, stuffed animals, all kind of strange yet beautiful stuff.
He continued searching for your closet, finally reaching a small door in the back.
He opened it reluctantly, just to be greeted by a full room of clothes.
Negan’s eyes widened as he stared and then sighed.
He had thought looking for something to wear would be a terrible job, yet turned out to be wrong as he quickly found interest in it.
This was more of a turn on than he’d thought.
“That damn dress. Or that. Fuck that one’s hot. Oh my…holy…” he whispered to himself, probably imagining to fuck you in each and everyone of those pieces.
“Negan…?” Your voice made him turn around in shock as you leaned against the door, a smirk on your face, watching him.
He had one of your silk, soft panties in his hand, staring at you.
“I just…”
“That one?” you asked, walking up to him, taking the small piece of fabric out of his hand.
Your hair was wet and the only thing you wore was a black towel.
“Hold that real fast…” you mumbled as you turned around, pulled the towel off your naked body, and placed it in his hand.
He was basically melting now, just gazing at your back as you slipped into the panties, looking over your shoulder.
“Bra?” you asked. He took a few seconds to react before reluctantly turning to his side, choosing the fitting piece.
You smiled at him before taking it from his extended hand, covering your bare breasts with the other.
He couldn’t really decide whether to look at you or your gorgeous corsets and other lingerie, which made up a rather large portion of the clothes.
“Do you like…” he chuckled, somehow uncomfortable by how hard the situation had made him. And that meant something. “…Uhm..wear that stuff?”
“That? Yes. Often.” you coldly answered, not even needing to turn around to know he meant the lingerie.
You put the bra on, still with your back to him.
“The rest?” you asked.
He gestured at the couch a few feet away and you left him standing there for a pair of light trousers, knee-high boots, and very sexy, very shouldn’t-be-used-for-hunting, wine red top.
You sighed but still put it on, turning to him again.
“It’ll be a little cold to go out like thi-” you stopped, seeing him holding out a jacket for you. One you’ve never worn in his presence.
A black, tight leather jacket.
You looked at it and then back at him.
“Negan…” you started, chuckling in delight, “are you…trying to dress me up like yourself…?” you asked, kind of touched by the small, sweet gesture.
He tried to answer but still just stared at you, swallowing, then licking his lips again before starting to mutter something.
You soon stopped him by walking closer, putting your finger on his lips before softly taking the jacket and putting it on.
“Come on, let me beat you finally,” you grinned, brushing his cheek with your lips as you whispered in his ear.

The two of you went down the stairs without much talking going on.
After telling a few people you’d be out for a while, you went after Negan to get to the gates.
“Be careful…” the man you’d notified nearly whispered, not glancing at Negan once as he placed a small kiss on top of your head.
You squeezed his hand and nodded at him. “You’re in charge as long as I’m gone, ‘kay Baby?”
“’Kay,” he nodded and you flashed him a smile before walking off.

“Mine or yours?” you asked, smiling at Negan as he leaned against his rover.
“Mine. It’s big, wanna see?” he smirked, playing with the keys.
“I’d like to ride it,” you purred, leaning on the bonnet, caressing the metal.
He watched you, he wouldn’t stand that teasing any longer.
“Don’t hold back…” he answered, staring right at you.
“Yay!” you suddenly grinned, running up to him, getting the keys and kissing him on the cheek before getting to the drivers seat.
“Wait…what?” Negan asked, clearly confused.
“You said I could ride it!” you argued, already grabbing the steering wheel.
Still perplexed, he sighed, chuckled, touched his cheek where you left the small, wet kiss, and finally gave in, getting into the car himself.

You drove for about an hour, mostly joking around and laughing.
Probably an after effect of the amount of alcohol the both of you had had, but it still made you happy.
“No!” Negan blurted out, grinning.
“Yes! And then he stared at me like I’d fucked his dog or something and was like: ‘Bitch, you’aint did that right.’” You suddenly stopped telling your little story, staring into the dark of the road you drove on.
Negan had actually enjoyed the fact that you were driving after a while, since it meant he could watch you and chill out while he did so.
You were gorgeous. He didn’t just want you. He wanted you. In another, not all too sexual way.
You were a ruler just like him.
“Everything okay?” he asked, since you still hadn’t said anything.
“How ‘bout here?” you asked as the car got slower.
Negan looked out of the window. A meadow, surrounded by forest.
“About perfect,” he smiled.

You settled onto the car roof, your legs dangling down.
He’d turned the radio a little bit louder, the doors of the cars were opened wide.
Negan grabbed two bottles from the backseat and joined you on top of the car.
“Rules?” he asked as he handed you one of the drinks.
“Everytime one of us kills one, we loudly exclaim a number, counting up. The one with most kills wins,” you explained, before taking a sip.
“Deal,” he nodded.
You sat there for a long while, waiting for the music to attract some walkers, and watched as they very slowly started to assemble around the car.
You watched the stars while it was his turn to tell a small tale about his time as a teacher, and you commented on how hilarious he must’ve been, and how terrible your teachers were.
“You are…a cool friend, Negan,” you suddenly said after a while, turning your gaze to meet his.
“What are we now? Drinking buddies?” he chuckled and you had to laugh too.
“Seems like it, ‘aint it?”
“Fucking does. Come on now, ready?” he grabbed Lucille.
“Ready set go, amigo,” you blurted, gracefully jumping off the car, swiftly taking out the first one.
“MOTHER FUCKING ONE!” you yelled, grinning at him.
You had to duck as he swung Lucille next to your head, taking out a walker himself.
“One,” he smirked back.
You quickly turned and threw a knife, which soon got stuck in an eye in the distance.
“Two,” you smirked.
“Aww, not bad princess.”
“Better than you - sure,” you blew him a kiss, grinned, and walked off to your next target.

It was exhausting, but you had pretty much cleared the whole area now.
“SEX-TEEN. My Friend!” you grinned happily. “You are on fifteen, right Negan? Which makes ME-”
“Sixteen!” Negan suddenly yelled, soon after you’d heard the banging of barbwire against skull.
“Oh fuck off,” you groaned.
Negan laughed and came swaying up to you, Lucille tucked over his shoulder.
“Looks like we’re even…and no more walkers around,” he still smiled, scanning the area.
“Looks like…what a shame..” you sighed, a little out of breath.
You both had blood splatters all over you and you absolutely adored that fact, since he looked so…dominant in it.
“Does that mean that…both of us won? Both of us get our order?” he smirked at you, coming yet again closer.
Your eyes widened as you stared past him into the distance, suddenly breaking into a sprint.
He turned around in shock, only now seeing the lonely stray walker you were sprinting for.
“Oh hell no…” he whispered, drawing his gun.
He wouldn’t let you win this one, and he also couldn’t catch up to you at that speed.
You flinched as you heard the loud bang of a gunshot, stopping in your tracks.
He just robbed you of your victory.

“AND STILL THE CHAMPION, THE ONE AND ONLY; WITH SEVENTEEN KILLS, NEEEEGAA-”, he started cheering as you screamed at him, making your way back to the rover where he still stood.

“YOU PIECE OF…”, you stared at him, wide eyed and teeth gritted.
Your blood boiled just looking at that smooth fucker, leaning against his truck, smirking and checking you out.
“Don’t be a sore loser, baby,” he chuckled, walking up to you, cupping your face with his hands.
“FUCK OFF!” you yelled, slapping his hand slightly before pushing him away.
Furiously you spun around, walking away from him.
“Baby!..” he still chuckled, seemingly finding this very amusing.
He walked up behind you after you’d stopped, about to hug you from behind when you suddenly turned around again, stepping closer to hiss at him.
“You just couldn’t lose, could you? Too afraid of me to win, so you cheated. You slimy, smug bastard CHEATED!”
Your finger was angrily tapping against his chest and he looked up from it, back to you.
You looked absolutely gorgeous when you were angry.
“Babe…I wasn’t afraid to lose, I was about to win all along. I just wanted to give you some chances so you wouldn’t feel so bad,” he purred, his voice low and hoarse with arousal.
“Stop Lying you Pussy,” you spat, dangerously glaring at him.
Like a rattle snake you stared him down, your eyes burning with fury.

Negan’s smile faded and he looked dead serious now.
“What did you just call me?” he asked.
Everything playful in his voice had vanished and he sounded absolutely sharp.
You glared at each other for a moment, both angry now.
“I called you a god damn Pussy,” you hissed again, nearly whispering this time.
He exhaled slowly, nearly growling.
“Call me a pussy one more time and I swear to god I-
“Pussy,” you interrupted him and he reacted faster than you could process anything.

He’d grabbed you by the belt, lifting you like nothing, swirling you around just to push you against the side of the van forcefully.
“Listen. I like you. But not even you are allowed to fucking talk to me like that, because if you keep that up, I will-”
“Do it.”
You didn’t hiss anymore.
You just stared at him.
He was so damn close now, pressed between your legs, holding you up by firmly grabbing your butt. You could feel the hard metal of the car behind you and the hard cock of his against you.
“Y/N..” he whispered darkly.
“Do. It. You little puss-”
Before you could finish he squeezed your ass hard, pressing himself even further against you, his lips on yours.
It wasn’t exactly loving.
It was hard and rough and more of a fight for dominance than anything else.
You had one hand in his hair for support while the other one clawed at his back, your fingernails leaving small rips on the leather.
You could hear him growling, pressing you even closer as you moaned into his mouth yourself.

He was the one to pull away first, somewhat reluctantly.
Negan rested his forehead against yours and both of you panted from of the lack of air.
His eyes met yours and his lips hovered above yours slightly, not initiating a new kiss but nearly asking you for permission.
You were quite surprised by what you saw and felt.
The squeezing had stopped.
He just looked at you with those huge…loving eyes.
Loving indeed.
No question it was love, admiration. He was able to push all of his want away, just to ease into that one, first kiss.
You stared at him. First confused, tilting your head. You then let your hand glide from his hair up to his cheek, caressing it lightly and felt him leaning into the touch, craving it like a huge dog of some sort, true to its master.
Closing your eyes, you pulled yourself closer to him, you being the one to squeeze now as you grazed his lips with yours, before starting to kiss him again.
It wasn’t like the one before. It was softer, shorter.
Like waves you started to move against each other, kissing and panting in a small, lovely rhythm.

“Wait…wait…” he mumbled between kisses, just before giving in again, giving you the next soft one.
“Stop,” he finally broke out, holding your head in place by placing one of his hands around your throat, pinning you to the car.
His gaze rapidly wandered from one eye to the other, and back to your lips for a few seconds.
He was searching for something. Anything.
The smallest emotion.
He was unsure about this. You never talked about this before and he was the last one who’d do anything to you that you didn’t want.
Dirty talk and teasing was one thing, fucking any other girls was one thing, but this was different.
He softly released the grip on your throat and sat you down, slowly and with caution, until your feet hit the ground.
Negan steeped a few inches away, not stopping to stare at you.

You tilted you head again, clearly a gesture to ask if everything was okay.
He looked…unsettled, afraid even.
“I just…fucking kissed my best friend,” he chuckled bitterly, “I am sorry I-”
“You are sorry?” you asked.
“No. Wait. I didn’t mean it. It’s just-”
“Just?” you asked, again interrupting him.
He clearly was fighting with himself at that moment.
You started to walk closer, laying your hands on his shoulders, pulling him slightly down to you.
“I didn’t mean to…like…did you want to? Because I wanted to and I still wasn’t quite sure if-”
“Negan,” you interrupted him once again and he stared at you, biting his lip.
“Say it,” he ordered, his voice more settled again.
You looked at him and he still stared you down.
“What?” you asked, smiling softly.
“Y/N…” he growled, his eyes filled with lust once again.

“Yes.”
That word. So softly.
And yet it did such things to him.
Again he pulled you up in a matter of seconds, pressing you against his body as his lips captured yours.
You didn’t fight back this time, letting him roam freely and handle you as he may.
From time to time you moaned in pleasure and encouragement to keep him going, and it sure was working.
Burrowing your hands in his hair again, you pressed your chest against his throat since his was holding you so you were slightly above him.
“My Queen…” he gasped between kisses, “Fuck…” “I wanted this so badly…” “I need you…” “Damn…” “FUhUCK.”

“Negan..Negan…Negan,” you chuckled and tried to calm him, but this only seemed to fire him up even more.
His heart was pounding like crazy, but what could you do?
You felt like butter in his strong arms, underneath his loving kisses and praises.
He stopped after what seemed like minutes, staring at you.
At your huge eyes and your full lips and he was watching in awe at how you quivered slightly in his grasp.
“You are so god damn beautiful…” he whispered in full honesty as he admired you in the moonlight above you.
“Negan…” you purred in response, your thumb caressing his lips.
“I want you to be mine so fucking bad…Imagine….what we could do. I would take you everywhere with me, I would get you a crown and make people praise your name, I would-”
He stopped.
The small smile on your lips stopped him.
“You won’t…will you,” he whispered.
You just looked at him, the softest smile on your lips as you shook your head, “No, Honey.”

He lowered his head, nodding.
“But Negan…”
Hearing your voice again, made him look up to you.
“You can still make me.”
You whispered so soft, that he could barely hear you, but it sent shivers down his spine.
“You are fucking majestic,” he growled.
“Yes I am,” you answered.
“You are perfect. My Queen.”
“Not yet.”
He chuckled darkly before pushing his lips onto yours again, tasting the liquor and the sweetness of you. His hands fumbled with your hair thinking about what else you may taste like.
“Negan…get me inside the car,” you stated.
It was an order; he knew that. You knew that.
You also knew that he usually would never ever take orders, and yet, he walked the few steps over to the door of the car, opening it.
He didn’t let go of you once, and you could feel his hard muscles pressing you onto him.
Ever so softly, he lay you down on the back seat and you slowly stretched on it, positioning your hands above your head.
His eyes hovered over you as he climbed into the car himself, his knees on both sides next to his hips and his hands next to your face.
“You look fucking delicious…” he growled, taking you in.
“And you are a fucking turn on…now…what are you waiting for…” you raised your upper body slightly while hissing this, getting closer to him.
“I’m…” he started, his eyes once again gliding over you as his hands started playing with your side, “…do you even fucking know…how long I’ve wanted to do this? Let me process this,” he mumbled, his hands squeezing your hips now.
You watched him in silence, his hands softly running up and down your body, his tongue gliding over his lips in anticipation.
His hands finally found your breast, looking up to meet your gaze one last time, again silently asking for permission.
Negan really didn’t seem like the kind of guy that would rape anyone.

You took the decision from him, leaning up again.
His hands automatically cupped your breast like that and your face was only barely away from him.
He was frozen in place staring at you as you stared at him, your full lips slightly parted.
“Negan…” you moaned his name, kissing his neck.
“Stop teasing me…” you continued, hovering your lips over his soft skin.
You could feel him pressed against you, feel his hard cock positioned directly above your core.
“Baby…” he growled, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw to keep his composure. His hands wandered down his back to grab your shirt and pull it over your head, throwing it aside.
He took his time admiring you.
Your lay your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you began to lick from his shoulder up to his ear. You could feel him shivering above you now.
Your mouth stopped to give him the final push.
“Negan….come on now…I really need to see that sweet cock of yours…I can feel how fucking hard you are for me…show me,” you challenged and then leaned back slightly to catch his reaction.
He was paler than usual, staring at you wide-eyed, filled with desire.
Your hand ran down his broad chest, trailing down to open his trousers in a swift movement, stroking him through his boxers.
That soft touch alone made him quiver and groan loudly.
It was deep, manly, and aggressive even.
His eyes found yours again and without a warning, he suddenly grabbed your shoulders, pushed you down again, and started kissing you violently.

His hand was now squeezing your breast as the other ran down your heated body, fumbling with your belt.
“Fuck….oh fuck…” he exhaled, his hips starting to move rhythmicaly against you, leaving you clawing at his back, biting back as you kept fighting over the dominance of the kiss.
“I’m so wet Negan…” you moaned between kisses and he growled even louder in response.
His hands finally slid into your trousers, two of his fingers pressing against you throught your soaked panties.
“Ho-ly….Baby you are wetter than the fucking sea…” he grinned, staring at you.
“Are you..” you started but the question was soon answered as he brought his hips down, his hard cock pressing against you through the soft, silk fabric of your panties.
You clawed at him even harder, staring at him unbelieving.
“Damn Negan….What the-”
“I told you how long I wanted this…” he hissed, starting to kiss you again as he shoved himself against you.
You could feel his dick pushing up against your clit, drawing a moan from you, which he soon silenced by slipping his tongue into your mouth.
His hands roamed in your hair, grabbing and tugging softly as he groaned into you.

He was so hard that every small touch must’ve been fucking painful.
“Negan…” you moaned again.
“Say it.”
He was watching you closely now, he wanted to taste that moment, enjoy it.
“Please….I want yo-…” you suddenly stopped, your eyes widening.
“Babe? What is it? Say it. Come on.”
You still stared into nothingness.
“So close, Babygirl. Come on. Say it. Please.”
“Psssht!” you hissed, shutting him up.
“Fuuuhuuuck Baby….” he moaned, resting his head between your breast.
“Who do you want? I really, really, REALLY want to fuck you. Just Say that-”
Once again you interrupted him as you put your hand on his mouth.
“Negan. Listen,” you whispered, on high alert now.
Negan actually did as he was told, trying to concentrate on his surroundings.
“Someone’s coming…” you whispered.
The noises of cars coming closer could be heard, and you felt Negan tensing up above you.
Soon the headlight of two Fords illuminated the field as the cars came driving out of the forest.
Negan stared.
He didn’t seem angry nor afraid. He just stared, still protectively leaning above you.

“Who is that?” you asked, your voice shivering slightly.
As if pulled out of a trance, he suddenly turned his gaze to look at you.
Seeing the slightest bit of fear in your eyes, he leaned down and kissed you.
Soft and loving again, not as hungry as just seconds before.
He pulled away after a few seconds, staring at you once more before rising up to kneel on you and turning his head to the vehicles.
“Stay inside, Baby.”, he whispered hoarsely, arousal still clinging in his words.
You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to. He knew you would listen.
The cars stopped and you could hear doors getting slammed shut, as well as multiple steps of heavy feet on the dry ground outside.
“Well what do we have here!” a male voice called sheepishly.

Negan didn’t look interested at all, as his hand reached for Lucille and he got out of the car.
Like a flash of light, it hit you who exactly those people outside were.
“You know…” you sat up on the seats, your hair cascading down your naked body, “it’s your fault. I told you only one hour in bed or they’d come and look for you…” you scolded him lovingly.
“I know, Baby…”, he mumbled, before leaning into the car again to kiss you, “T’was fucking worth it though,” he grinned, as he pulled away, his hand still cupping your cheek.
“Go now,” you smiled at him.
He softly glanced at you one last time before finally walking up to the men.

“Hey! What the fu-” one of the men said, a gun pointed at the figure in front of him. He stopped immediately in his tracks as he recognized the bat and the leather jacket, throwing himself on his knees.
The second man reacted exactly the same and Negan just grinned at them as he walked up to them.
“Well look at that,” Negan chuckled, staring down at them.
“S-sorry. We were supposed to look after you since-”
“I’m fucking fine. But it was really, REALLY not nice of you to just crash a party like that. Drivin’ up all close and fucking around with the headlights,” he scolded, leaning above them.
“You are right. We shouldn’t have-”
“Still you did,” Negan hissed, suddenly filled with rage, “You fucking did.”
Lucille plopped down, landing on the ground close to them.
“And you make me fucking angr-”
“Enough.”

The men looked up and Negan actually turned around, surprise written all over his face.
“is Enough…” you finished your sentence, slowly walking up to them.
You still had blood splatters all over you and still only wore your bra, the trousers, a few weapons and your boots, which made you look delightfully badass.
Negan clenched his jaw, angrily glaring at you.
How dare you command him in front of his men.
“You better excuse yourself for that,” Negan hissed, sounding extremely dangerous right now.
“For what? Making sense? No. Not happening,” you simply said, still no emotions visible on you, as you walked past him.
You came to a halt directly in front of the men, your hand running through the hair of one of them as you pushed his head back so he would look at you.
“You….” you started, your voice soft, “shouldn’t have scared a woman like that. Yet alone the Queen.”
“Sorry,” the man mumbled, staring at you.
You could hear Negan growling next to you.
“Alright,” you nearly whispered, your hand caressing his head, playing with his dark, full hair, “Negan. You will not kill those men.”
In that moment he grabbed your arm, jerking you around to hiss at you: “Are you fucking suicidal? Listen brat, if I wanted to pull their organs out and hang them on you like decoration on a fucking Christmas tree, you’d nothing, absolutely nothing to say about it, am I fucking understood?!?”
You stared at him, before slowly grabbing his hand with yours and removing it from your arm.
You then stepped closer, invading his space before answering.
“If you should try to harm these men, I will stop you.”

Your voice was low and even more poisonous than his.
He stared you down, angrily, the men watching intensely between you and him.
Negan took his time before answering.
“You better watch your mouth and excuse yourself for that, begging me for forgiveness. Who the fuck do you think you are?” he didn’t hiss anymore. He was serious.
“I am capable of stopping you. That’s all that counts.”

The two of you just glared at each other.
For a minute, then two, then five, before Negan finally raised his hand.
“Fuck off,” he exclaimed, not looking at them but keeping the eye contact with you.
The men shot up, turning around and stumbling to their car in an instant before you could hear the engine raw and see them disappearing back into the forest.

“As soon as we’re out of here, I will fuck you back into submission where you belong,” he hissed.
“I’d like to see you try. But it is very likely that you’ll cry after we are finished,” you answered, not moving a muscle.
“Fuck woman. I like you. But try another thing like that and I’ll fucking kill you.”
“You’d be dead before you could try,” you whispered, getting even closer.
You could hear him inhaling deeply, as he was about to grab your collar to push you against the car again, but you weren’t into playing anymore.
In a matter of seconds, you dodged underneath him, getting hold of his belt and his shoulder, pulling him back with full force.
He barely had time to react before he landed on the ground with you sitting on top of him.
Negan stared at you in shock, both from the impact and from the fact that you actually did that.
“Listen, Negan…” you started, sitting directly on his crotch, leaned above him, caressing his cheek with your finger, “the thing is, I don’t care if you are going to kill me. I couldn’t care less. I look forward to it even. That beautiful bat of yours would finally bring me the eternal sleep I longed for for so long. But right now, life seems to have gotten slightly interesting again, which is why it’s okay to stay here for a tiny bit longer and enjoy it. So yeah. I will do as I please. Because no matter if you worship me, or crash my skull in, it’s both pleasure for me.”
He didn’t say a word, just stared at you.
You leaned down even further, resting your forehead against his, your hands cupping his face now.
“I don’t care if you kill, fuck, or love me. I don’t care if you care for me. I don’t feel shit, Negan. And I know you feel the same. You are empty too.
Let me repeat that.
You are empty. You are empty while you kill and while you fuck your wives.
So you know exactly what I mean.
It was nice to have met you. Someone as sick as me.
But if you expect me to cope with your temper, you’ll have to accept mine too. If you expect me to accept you to go fuck your wives, then you’ll have to accept me fucking other men too, whenever I feel like it.
Because I know that you are used to playing by your rules only, but you will have to decide.
Leave me some place on top, or blow my brains out.”
He hadn’t even noticed that you’d gotten the gun from his belt.
For a second he feared you would shoot him, but you turned the pistol around, resting it against your forehead, taking his hands into yours, laying them around the metal, his finger on the trigger.
“Decide. Now, Negan.
Let me sit on your lap on that throne, all other people below us, bowing to us, or keep your beautiful spot on the top for yourself and shoot me right now.”
“You are so fucked up,” he mumbled, still laying below you.
“Stop talking and do it.”
“You really aren’t afraid, are you?”
“No. You have no idea,” you hissed, the gun pressed against your head, “what I had to go through in my life. Even before this Apocolypse bullshit. I want to go. I don’t take anything in between anymore. I’ve suffered enough for multiple lifetimes. On top or not at all. You decide. I don’t even care anymore.”
Your eyes glistened. You weren’t crying but they glistened softly and for these seconds, he was able to stare right through your soul.

The gun shifted in his hand and you closed your eyes, calm and happy.
You were grateful that it was about to end. Finally.
He was the one. He was someone who could do the job.
After you’ve waited for so long for someone to-
You suddenly felt his lips against yours, his hands pulling the gun away, throwing it aside, and then touching your back to push you against him.
He pulled you around, laying you softly onto the ground underneath him as he hovered above you.
You didn’t dare open your eyes until he’d pulled away.
He stared right at you as you finally did.
“You are my Queen,” he started, after looking at you for a while, “I wouldn’t dare hurt you.
You, the only person that is fucked up enough to understand me,” he frowned, the back of his hand caressing your cheek.
“Are you sure?” you asked.
“Yes.”

He lifted himself to shift a little and sit next to your laying form on the ground.
“Because…you could still…I mean-” you had reached for the gun again and turned it to face you as he grabbed it, throwing it as far away as possible.
Your eyes followed the pistol as it landed somewhere in the dark, before staring at him again.
He still frowned.
“I won’t kill you.”
“You could.” you whispered.
“I won’t. I couldn’t cope with you being dead.”
“Why?” you asked, still confused by his actions.
“Because you are the only thing that reminds me of who I once was. What I am now. And why that is,” he answered and looked at you.
“So…what?” you asked and he started to chuckle.
“You really thought I would shoot you, didn’t you?”
“I hoped so,” you mumbled, a single tear rolling down your cheek, as you sat up, staring at him in confusion.
“Y/n…” he muttered, looking pained.
“Kill me Negan, I deserve to die. I’ve fought long enough I want to rest.” You began gritting your teeth.
He cupped your face and pulled you close before kissing you.
“I know…I know…I know how it feels. But stand up now. You are my Queen now. I will look after you,” he whispered as he pressed you against him.
“I don’t need anyone to…I…Why Negan…?”
“Because I love you. Because you are more like me than any person I have ever met.”
“Shut up,” you hissed.
He just pressed you more harshly against him.
“Let me go Negan….fuck off…”
He didn’t answer, nor did he move.

“No I won’t…” he finally spoke up, his arms around you, “Because I know how you feel. And because you owe me. I won the game. Forgot our deal?”
“Go away…” you mumbled into his chest.
“I order you to come with me.”
“Fuck you.”
“Not to live with me, not to marry me. Just…come with me for the night, look at it, let me show you what could be yours…” he whispered, caressing you.
“What IS mine,” you hissed and stared up at him, changing your mind, “I said shoot me or let me rule. I am on top now. This IS mine.”
A small smile spread on his lips.
“That is my car, my jacket, my Saviors, You belong to me,” you whispered, slowly.
“So you are my Queen now?”
You stared him down angrily.
“I am your Queen. Not your wife, not some whore you fuck, I am equal to you you will respect m-”
“I do respect you, my majesty…” he whispered, leaning next to your ear.
“Then get me into that car and show me my kingdom…” you whispered, your hand streaking through his hair as you leaned in to kiss him.

I hope you like it <3
Would mean a lot to me if you leave me a comment below telling me what i could improve or if it was okay like that ^^
I hope you’ll have a gorgeous day!

@castielsnonexistantharp

Backwards p.t. 3

Intro: yes yes the drama continues…. how my brain came up with all these words I do not know.  But it did.  So here it is you lovely people. 

Pairing: Bones x Reader

Word Count: 2,044

Triggers: attempted sexual assault (yes it is in this one), bullying, rude name calling, some swearing.  

Summary:  Reader is a botanist on the Enterprise who is bullied often and has low self esteem, and happens to run into Bones one day and develops a crush instantly (who wouldn’t, really?).  Reader works with Bones to save Spock from an injury from an away-mission.  The bullying gets worse as the story goes on and eventually leads to an attempt at sexual assault.  Reader gets away and doesn’t know who to turn to (maybe a certain friendly yet grumpy space doctor?).

ALSO: I was not going to put the sexual assault part in this one but I realized the last part would be like a million words long and this one would be short so I hope this is okay.  It is a little bit of fluff with a lot of negativity so I hope it’s not too dark.  

ALSO(p.t. 2): don’t worry everyone’s favourite doctor is going to save the day.

Read part 1:  Backwards p.t. 1

Read part 2: Backwards p.t. 2

(learning how to hyperlink yay)

-Enjoy!-

You ate meals in your room for the next couple days, wanting to avoid having to deal with people for a while.  You happily worked in your lab with music blasting in your headphones, mainly working on a very large order of Seabaene salve and solution for the medbay as there was going to be another away-mission to the same planet, and Dr. McCoy wanted to be prepared.  

Your heart ached every time you thought about Leonard.  You had only met him formally the day you went to breakfast together but it felt like you had known him for a million years.  You suppressed these feelings as you threw yourself into your work, working late into the evenings and stumbling to bed exhausted each night.  

A week after saving Spock you almost had all the salve and solutions prepared.  Blasting your favourite music, you danced around the lab, using the vials as microphones, feeling happier than you had in days.  

Your music had been so loud that you didn’t hear the door open and close and were startled to see a blue shirted body standing in your lab.  

You yelped and dropped the vial you were carrying, sending it smashing to the ground.  You ripped out your headphones, heart pounding, and faced your intruder. 

Leonard.  

“Dammit, I’m sorry I startled you.” He swore, setting down the small paper bag in his hand onto a shelf and bending to pick up the broken pieces.  

You knelt as well and reached for the pieces, collecting them gently into your hand as to avoid cutting yourself.  As you reached for another piece your hand bumped Leonard’s and you instinctively apologized.  

He didn’t respond except to reach and take your hand with the broken glass in it and move the pieces from your hand to his.  His hands were soft and steady, as you assumed a doctor’s should be, but there was a light roughness about them that made you curious and want to explore his hands more.  He threw the broken pieces in the garbage and you watched him, heart racing at the prospect of him being here.  

He turned back to face you and you thought your heart was going to explode as you sat down on your work chair.  

You both hesitated a moment before speaking at the same time.

“How’s Spock?” You asked. 

“I brought you a muffin.” He stated, reaching for the paper bag.  

A laugh escaped you after you both spoke at the same time, which seemed to break the awkwardness between the two of you. 

“What?” You asked as he handed you the paper bag. 

“I brought you a muffin.” He half-smiled, his brown eyes sparkling, “blueberry, I thought you would like it since you had blueberries on your waffles when we had breakfast the other day.”

You both spoke at the same time again. 

“Thank you.” You responded with a smile. 

“Speaking of breakfast…” He started but stopped when your words collided. 

This time you both laughed and the awkwardness had all but melted away.  

“Thank you.” You enunciated slowly as if to make sure he wasn’t going to speak at the same time.  He laughed at that.  

“You’re welcome.” He responded, leaning on the edge of your worktable, “and Spock’s doing much better now.  Getting back to his aggravating self.” He gruffed and rolled his eyes and you giggled.  

“Glad to hear.” You smiled and turned to gesture towards a box that was resting on a nearby shelf,  "and your salves and solutions are almost ready, just a few more to…“

He interrupted. "Have breakfast with me tomorrow morning.”

Silence flooded between you and Leonard as you struggled for the words to respond.  

“I… uh… I…” you squeaked. 

“No, don’t respond to that.  It’s an open invitation.  If you want, I will be in the mess hall for breakfast tomorrow morning, and you are welcome to join me.” He insisted, lifting himself off the worktable, turning and walking out the lab doors.  

You were dumbfounded, frozen in place for several moments before turning your attention to the muffin in the bag.  You pulled it out and took a bite. 

It was the best damn muffin you ever tasted.  

—————————————————————————————————-

You decided to meet Leonard for breakfast in the morning, and set you alarm accordingly, or so you thought.  

As you woke up from your warm, comfortable sleep, you turned to face the clock.  It was 2 hours past what you had set your alarm for, meaning you missed breakfast with Leonard.  

“Shit!” You swore, leaping out of bed and scrambling to get ready, though something in your gut told you that he was gone already, and you missed your chance.  

You scurried to the mess hall, failing an attempt to fix your hair, and nearly slid into the door.  Walking in, you saw the mess hall buzzing with people, none of them Leonard.  

You turned and walked out of the mess hall, your heart heavy.  Looking down the hall, to your dismay, you saw a few of your classmates coming towards you, including the douche-nozzle in the engineering red shirt.  

“Well, well, well, look what we have here.” He jeered, coming closer to you, “you look like a dog who lost her bone.”

You shot a glare at him and folded your arms across your chest.  

“Or should I say you look like a bitch who lost her Bones.” The whole group laughed now and you felt your cheeks warm. 

“Oh look she’s blushing, he must have nailed her real good, than.” Another boy in blue prodded.  

“Shut up.” You whispered. 

“I heard he’s real good in bed, a real southern gentleman.” A blonde haired girl now said. 

“Shut up.” You said a little louder. 

“What was that, plant freak?  You talk so quiet, but I bet you’re loud in bed…” The engineering boy sneered. 

“Shut up!” You yelled, your hands now in fists at your side. 

“Ahhh, she speaks!” The engineering boy exclaimed mockingly. 

“Yeah, I do.  And what I am saying is leave me alone.  You guys should be nice to me.  I saved Spock’s life and the Captain said if I needed anything, that I should go to him.”  The group had gone quiet now as you continued your rant as menacingly as you could, “and don’t doubt me for a second that I won’t go to him and have you sent off this ship, am I making myself clear?”

“Clear as day.” The engineering boy responded, lifting two fingers to his forehead in a mocking salute. 

You stalked past them, your hands still in fists but could still hear whispers of ‘bitch’, 'slut’, and 'whore’, emanating from the group.  

You know you shouldn’t let them get to you, but still every single time they did.  You rushed back into your lab and began finishing the salves and solutions for Leonard, and as you did your work the fury that had filled your veins was draining as well as your energy and by the end of the day you were exhausted.

—————————————————————————————————

You washed your hands after you stacked the last of the salve on the shelf, grabbed your bag and headed out the door, dreaming of a comfy warm bed, a cup of tea and your book.  

You were so lost in your daydream that you didn’t notice three boys standing outside your door until you almost smacked into them.  Looking up, your heart dropped.  One was the douche-nozzle engineering boy, the other two were in blue, all three with evil smirks on their faces.  

“Hello, Plant Freak.” The engineering boy drawled.  

“Hello.  Excuse me.” You said as you tried to dodge past them, but the engineering boy stopped you with a forceful grip on your arm.   

“Where do you think you’re going?” He sneered, and the other two boys snickered.  

Fear coursed through you as you assessed the situation: this was not good.  

You backed slowly towards the doors of your lab, bumping into them and leaning into them.  One of the other boys suddenly reached pressed on the door-pad, and suddenly the doors slid open and you went careening backwards onto the hard floor of the lab.  

The fall knocked the wind out of you and you struggled to sit up.  The three boys advanced on you and you half crab-walked backwards to avoid them.  

“No, no, no, Plant Girl, you are ours tonight.” The engineering boy spat, a hungry look in his eyes. 

You looked desperately to the closing doors to see if anyone was passing by that could save you. 

“Doctor Bonesy is not going to save you tonight, sweetheart.” He leaned over you, his breath rancid and warm as it neared your face.  

“I want to hear you scream…” he teased and his face got closer and closer to yours.  

You took your chance while you had it and punched him across the cheekbone.  He dropped on top of you, his muscles locking up and you wriggled to get free.  You got up halfway before being slammed down again by one of the other boys who pinned your arms to the ground.  The engineering boy leered closer, rubbing his jaw, and pulled himself up, moving his legs so that he pinned your thighs under his knees.  

“So you like it rough?” He insinuated, drawing out each word, he leaned close and whispered into your ear, “I can do rough." 

You barely had time to be repulsed when he suddenly sat up and drove his fist hard against your jaw, your head snapping back against the steel floor.  

You were taking in a breath to scream, stars floating in front of your eyes, when the boy that was holding your arms down released one hand and stuffed it in your mouth.

Tears streamed down your cheeks, and the engineering boy kneeled harder on your thighs, making you squeak in pain.  

He leaned forwards again, an evil grin on his face, "don’t be afraid, sweetheart, this is only going to hurt a little, but you’ll enjoy it I promise.”

He reached for the belt on his pants and you knew that it was now or never.  You bit down hard on the hand in your mouth, tasting blood, and the boy recoiled his hand with a shout.  You used your free hand to reach up and scratch the engineering boy’s face, throwing him off balance, and you rolled out from under his knees.  Springing up, adrenaline coursed through your body as you lurched forward, trying to get your now bruised legs to obey you.  You grabbed onto a shelf to pull yourself forward, but ended up pulling off the box that was set on top of it.  It was the box of salves that you had made for the medbay, and they smashed to the ground, the vials in sharp pieces, their contents spilled out onto the floor.  A hand suddenly wrapped around your ankle and yanked,causing you to fall to the ground, hard, slicing your forearm open on one of the vials.  You kicked out, connecting with someone’s face and heard something crunch and someone shout, but you didn’t look back as his hand released your ankle and you scrambled forward over the glass-covered floor.  Finally you were upright and you sprinted to the doors, flinging them open and sliding out into the now dimly lit hallway.  You could hear the boys shouting behind you but that just made you run faster.  You didn’t know where to go, or what to do, and tears blurred your vision as you passed room after room.  Finally you looked down to your stinging arm and saw blood dripping down it.  You needed a healing patch, but you had passed the medbay already, and knew that the boys were still following you.  

Suddenly you knew were to go, or instead who you should go to.  You found his room and raised a shaky hand to knock a few time on the door.  You kept looking around for signs of the boys, but you seem to have lost them.  You knocked again, a sob almost escaping you and you desperately hoped that he was in here.  Finally the doors flung open and you took in a sleepy figure clothed in pyjama pants and shirt, yawning and looking grumpy.  

Then he saw you, and his face changed. 

- Thanks for reading!  I know it got a little intense, sorry.  I hope you liked it and the last part will be posted tomorrow!  Goodnight! -