How do I begin to communicate with people in my classes? Like you said make plans with them, eat lunch with them, befriend them? It’s really hard for me to put myself out there in the first place, and I guess that I’m just scared of rejection? How do I get over that?
hi hi anony!
sorry i got to this a bit late - honestly i had to think about it because i’ve never gotten this question! for me personally, i am an extraverted person, so talking to people has always been a strength of mine. but i can totally get where you’re coming from - it’s rather scary to initiate things.
i’m going to list out the steps i usually take - though of course, this is just me, and it honestly depends on the person i’m talking to and such. i’m afraid there isn’t one particular way of going about this… it just takes courage to take that first step.
how i make friends/acquaintances in class:
- on the first day of class (or the first time i sit next to them), i usually say hi to whoever’s near me and ask their name, major, what year they are, where they’re living on campus, etc etc. just try to get a conversation going!
- either during that conversation, after class ends, or at the next class (honestly it just depends on when i remember and how the conversation feels), i’ll just ask for their number! something along the lines of “hey, could i get your number? it’d be nice to have a study buddy and friend, and i’d be happy to share my notes if you ever miss class!” works just fine and in my experience, everyone has said yes!
> !! NOTE: in your Contacts, take note of how you know them, so that later on you know who’s who c:
- after that, send them a quick text and say “heyy it’s [name] from [class/club]! again, lemme know if you ever need anything!” so that they know who you are
- and then… ask ‘em when they’re free!
> if you have homework, just text them and ask if they want to work on it with you: “hey, have you done hw #6? i haven’t yet and i was wondering if you want to work on it together! or maybe we could check answers later”
> if you want to grab food, ask if they want to join! “hey, have you eaten lunch? i’m thinking of going to xxx place in half an hour or so. wanna come?” works just fine
last lil tips:
don’t be afraid to initiate! in my experience, people like having company (i know i sure do) and it’s really nice to have friends you can rely on in your classes c:
don’t be offended if they’re busy - they have class and homework and clubs and their lives, too, so it’s totally understandable if they don’t have time. if you want, you can even plan ahead of time. let’s say they say they’re busy for lunch - maybe reply with, “oh, no problem!! dya wanna grab dinner together later?” or lunch tomorrow or something. you could even ask to swap schedules so that you know when they’re free!
hopefully that was at least a bit helpful!
as always, my inbox is open and feel free to add to this! :D