i am going to actually cry


It was one thing to cry on one random lonely night but it’s a whole different thing to cry every single night for consecutive days.

That’s what I had been doing.

Tears streaming down my face, my cheeks sticky and red, my eyes puffy and my lips swollen, my hair all messy and my nose runny. I felt disgusted in myself, in who I was, and what I was doing. I wished I was enough, for literally anyone. I needed physical affection from someone who believed I was actually worth something. But I had never gotten that affection and I feared that I never would get it. To be alone every night, crying by myself, with no-one to hold me, it made my heart bleed. It sent me close to the brink. It made me think things that I never thought I would ever think. It was hard to live a life that wasn’t going anywhere as I watched my friends get everything that I wished for. What am I doing wrong? Am I not enough? Was I born to be alone? These were the thoughts I had almost every single minute of every night. It was just so so difficult and I wasn’t sure if I could go through it any longer.

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anonymous asked:

Honestly I want to cry. I love Magnus so much. He's honestly such amazing bi representation and poc representation- very specifically Asian- and Harry himself is an actual angel. I just... want him to get more love and respect? And I'll be honest I'm white and bisexual and it breaks my heart and I honestly can't imagine how much worse it must be for fans of color and LGBTQ fans of color. I just am sad, sorry for this ask.

i’m just going to be brutally honest and say that white ppl can criticize this show and walk away and still find their rep elsewhere; as a queer se asian i … can’t. like i don’t. have much else?? this is it for us. this is all we get

so it’s uncomfortable when i see the criticisms from white ppl leveled @ the show as if they somehow get it, as if it hurts them just as bad or they’re just as disappointed. like…no, you don’t get it. you just don’t. and it isn’t a slight against white fandom i’m happy you guys are lucky enough you can look elsewhere but please remember that you are in fact lucky enough to be able to look elsewhere

anonymous asked:

don't bother. they are going to cut the hug scene since that's intimate? we've seen the pattern already. body contact = cut scenes. salt anon #2.


Sorry, I know it is not funny at this point, but when you think about it…. isn’t it actually sad? Like… they fucked us over so many times that you can only reply with so much salt because otherwise you end up in a corner sobbing your eyes out because you actually believed them this time? Until they screwed you over again?

I hate.


My Brother, My Brother, and Me (dir. J.D. Amato, 2017)

It just hit me how utterly terrified I am of Trump becoming president.

I’m so terrified that I’m actually crying. Crying.

My bigoted father voted Trump. My mother voted third-party. I’m going to vote today, for Hillary, but I’m so, so scared of Trump winning.

How oblivious do you have to be to think that he’s a good person, a good president? He hates everyone. Yeah, Hillary fucking sucks, too, but at least she has experience in political offices and at least she’s not racist, misogynistic swine who’s going to dump us down the shitter. Worst case scenario with Hillary, we get a bad president for a few years and that’s it, but Trump? Trump’s power-hungry, trigger-happy, homophobic, misogynistic, greedy, perverse, list goes on and on.

And if you wanted to vote for Bernie, well guess what? He’s told us to vote Hillary. And don’t write him in, either. Write-ins for Bernie literally. Will. Not. Count. If you supported Bernie Sanders, listen to him.

And more importantly, vote.

For fuck’s sake, if you sit on your ass because “there’s no way Trump can actually win,” he will.

magnus bane and alec lightwood will be the most iconic couple on tv in 2017

not only are we getting a proper respresentation of an interracial couple, not only are we getting a queer couple… but we are also gonna see them actually fall in love, depend on each other, trust each other, fight for each other

AND at the same time we are going to see two badass and independent characters who have their own stories and are so much more than just a couple

1. i don’t know how to say this so i’m just going to say it - don’t text me anymore. don’t call me. don’t ask me how i am when you feel lonely. don’t check up on me. don’t tell me you’re doing well. i don’t want to hear it. i don’t want to hear it because you fucking broke me. GOODBYE.

2. hey, okay, sooo i thought i could be friends with you but it hurts too much. not that you hurt me that much. no, i’m okay. i don’t cry in the shower anymore. some nights i actually fall asleep before 4 a.m. but then there’s some nights where i think about you and her kissing and it’s all that’s on my mind for days. no, no, it’s not like that. it’s not that i love you anymore or that i’m jealous. i just hate you for what you did to me. so yeah, anyways, just thought you should know i don’t want to be friends. hope you’re doing well though. maybe our paths will cross again.

3. i told myself many, many months ago that if i wanted this to work, if i wanted us to be friends, i couldn’t talk to you about my feelings ever again. i couldn’t turn every conversation into our failed relationship. so for many, many months, i’ve been letting it eat at me instead. i don’t want it to eat at me anymore and you don’t want to listen to me whine so i think this has to end. sorry.

4. hey, listen: some days i’m fine, but the smallest things get to me. like i’m pretty sure i saw you on her snapchat story. it’s none of my business, but i’m really mad at you for it. i’m really mad that you still talk to that girl you chose over me and you still like all of these girls’ facebook photos but you never like mine. and it’s not fair for me to be mad at you for having friends or being happy, i have no right to be, you didn’t do anything wrong. but it still gets to me, still eats away at me, still makes me want to knock down your door and ask you why the fuck you had to leave, why you had to do anything you did, why i poured all of my love into you that i didn’t have any left for myself and you took it and gave it to somebody else. god, this hurts. i don’t want you to know how badly this hurts but it does. i’m leaving you and taking this hurt with me.

5. hey, hope you’re doing well, but this still feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from. and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry, it’s not fair to you to have to listen to this shit because it’s been two whole years and i’m still not over it. and that’s my problem, not yours. it will never be your fault that i’m so goddamn sensitive. i’ve never been able to get over anything and i hate myself for it. please let me heal. please leave.

6. hey, remember the summer where i hooked up with the first guy who wasn’t you, when you had me blocked on everything and i couldn’t see what you were up to? well, i still read my posts from that summer and i was actually HAPPY. can you believe that? i was actually going about my life without you and i wasn’t thinking about what you did to me. but here i am again, thinking about it and the only thing that’s changed is that you speak to me. and i would love to be friends with you, i would, i’ve been trying so hard to be for months, but it’s making me so damn miserable. and i’m so jealous that she gets to be friends with you and i don’t. i’m sorry i’m not her. i’m sorry i never will be.

7. i’ve been ignoring your messages on purpose and you keep texting me again and it’s exhausting to have to ignore you all of the time and feel so guilty about it. i just don’t understand how you just don’t get the hint. so here’s a bigger one: LEAVE ME ALONE.

8. hey, okay, i know this is sudden but i don’t want to hear from you anymore. i don’t want to think about this anymore. i want to move on with my life and there’s no room for you in it. it was stupid of me to think that just because you’ve always been a good friend to me that we can be friends. we can’t.

9. hey. first off, i want to say i’m sorry, i just need to do what’s best for me. secondly, thank you for always being there when i needed you, but i don’t need you anymore. for now, it has to be just me. it feels like i’m breaking up with you and we’re not even dating, but this is it - this is goodbye. forever. don’t contact me.

10. all you ever did was hurt me. fuck you. i don’t want to see your stupid fucking name on my phone anymore. fucking get out. leave.

—  10 text messages i’m afraid to send because i don’t want to say goodbye to you, not again

              A small portion of some of my favourite quotes from classic literature. Feel free to change and adjust them to your needs!

“ I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape. ”
“ Don’t cry, I’m sorry to have deceived you so much, but that’s how life is. ”
“ I am fearless, and therefore powerful. ”
“ Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? ”
“ Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know ”
“ Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ”
“ I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it. ”
“ Do you know where the wicked go after death? ”
“ Actually that’s my secret — I can’t even talk about you to anybody because I don’t want any more people to know how wonderful you are. ”
“ Will you love me in December as you do in May? ”
“ Hell is empty and all the devils are here! ”
“ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ”
“ You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. ”
“ I have gone to the forest. ”
“ I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that’s why. ”
“ One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. ”
“ Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes. ”
“ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ”
“ The truth is rarely pure and never simple. ”
“ Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. ”
“ Some are born great, others achieve greatness. ”
“ I didn’t mean no harm. ”
“ My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know? ”
“ If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear! ”
“ And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. ”
“ I want to ruin you ”
“ What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love. ”
“ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ”
“ If I knew myself, I’d run away. ”


You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me if I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing, so he couldn’t possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?

                                                                        I love you.

The 'Banana Bus Squad' and the clown trend

Mini- Recording the whole thing on snapchat.

Terrorizer- Getting his camera out to vlog the whole thing while telling it to go away in his Arnold voice.

Nogla- Literally just babbling because he’s scared.

Moo- “This must be a joke!”

Lui- Pretending to cry in his squeaker voice.

Delirious- Is actually the clown.

Wildcat- Laughing at Brock’s pun– Wheezy McGee.


Vanoss- Looking for Delirious.

Bryce- *hides behind Ohm*

Ohm- *protects Bryce*

CaRtOoNz- *laughing because he knows Delirious is the clown*

me at the beginning of clone wars: oh this ahsoka character is kinda cool. I mean she’s a little annoying I guess but she’s another female character and a jedi to boot

me at the end of season 5: I would die on a battlefield for ahsoka tano

*SPOILER ALERT*                      So you are telling me that Yukino, Kagura, Lector and frosh get to know that Natsu is Zeref’s brother way before Lucy,Erza,Wendy and Gray do?

Actually that does build up the hype and everything so I am sorta glad that things are turning out this way(because when the revelation for Lucy and rest of Team Natsu does occur…*HYPE AF*) but I just find this ridiculously funny.XD

Also Natsu was officially declared as Larcade’s uncle.THERE IS NO GOING BACK NOW.




bang pd nim more like min yoongi bs&t era 50 years later ((@ anyone who’s reblogging this i am nOt making fun of him cmon im going emo all over the tags;_;))

Unpopular opinion: 2016 was actually an incredible year to me, so many cool things happened!! I’ve become independent, I learned and experienced tons of things, I’ve overcome my problems and finally I achieved what I’ve wanted for so long: I am truly happy with who I am as a person! I learned how to be happy and how to stay happy, I learned what’s important and to what extent. I realised that everything is a choice and there are literally no limits!! I finally see that every minute spent on whining and crying under a blanket is a wasted minute!! There’s literally no point in being stuck in one place, life moves forward and so should I!! Every failure is a test of persistence and determination, the key is to never stop looking for solutions!!

tl;dr Bring it on 2017, I’m ready

adventure time finale better destroy me. better fuck me up for life and ruin my soul. i dont wanna walk away from this 8 year emotional investment like “ok cool” like w/ homestuck. im tryn to ugly cry until i dont know who i am any more. im lookin for that flcl ending. that moral orel ending. that mgs3 ending. gimme an ending that makes me need to go lay down on the lawn and stare at the stars until the sun rises. gimme an ending that i’ll abruptly remember ten years from now and dissociate mid-sentence. dont fuck this up cn. i want to walk away from this ending feeling like i just got actually murdered

and by grod there had better be lesbians

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: I can't believe Square Enix is actually going to do this to us Episode Ignis will crush me into tiny little pieces it is going to destroy me I am not prepared to see how it happened and I am going to cry myself to sleep after I played it why do they like to see me suffering and dying this is unfair and I can't take it--