i am falling in love with every single character!

not offence but god i love junjou romantica so much oh my god it’s made me so very happy for the last 7 years of my life with absolutely no match.

 absolutely nothing will ever be as important to me as this shitty yaoi anime. i love every single character so much and because i was so young when i got into it, it really shaped me into who i am as a person. it was my first introduction into the lgbt world (lmao) and helped me realise thats where i belong. it taught me to go after my dreams but to stay connected to those who love me. that its okay to be separate from your family, especially if they hurt you. that you can never have too many books and that it’s okay to fall in love with someone you family doesn’t approve of. it opened my eyes to so many things in the world, taught me things that no one else was teaching me, and honestly just changed me from the core outward. it influenced my mannerisms, the way i speak, my work ethic, even things as minuscule as my fashion sense. 

i’m an adult now and i still see so much of these characters in myself. 

i love junjou romantica so much. i love junjou romantica so much. i will always love junjou romantica. thank you so much, nakamura-sensei for giving me this lifelong gift.

I fall in love with fictional worlds; in movies and novels and tv shows. I fall in love with characters as if they were real- because they're real to me. I stay up at night reading through theories, creating my own, analysing every single bit of information I get my hands on. Every plot twist unravels me as if actual events that are of significance to me. I delve so deep in to these worlds I often separate myself from the real one. Inserting myself so deep inside them I find it hard to climb out. This is why on most days, I am antisocial. Because it reminds me that its a lie. That's its not real. And this, this is the reality. But it'll always be real to me.
The Originals 4x11

I’m soo so so late with his commentary and review partly because i was in Paris when I first watched this episode and partly because I was travelling back with terrible wifi and didn’t get the opportunity. What a heavy heavy episode, so many things happened and surprise surprise i’m not drunk writing this so I might come out with some coherent thoughts! Yay! 

First of all I want to talk about the trashy and beautiful and messy relationship between Marcel and Rebekah. I’m not going to lie, I love their messed up on the rope romance. I love the passion that Rebekah brings to Marcel’s character, the heavy comments, the ultimatums. The heavy heavy comment that Marcel addressed, that she chose her family over him, that she didn’t bat an eyelash when her brother killed him, ripped his heart out and that hurt him, that wounded him. That was so so so heavy wrenching because it was all true. Rebekah’s comments about him choosing the city over her, when she’d first asked him to run with her. Bloody hell my actual soul hurt, I remember that scene, I remember that important moment for Rebekah as a character, she wants that real kinda love, all she’s ever wanted was something real. To be the number one and she wants that from Marcel and Marcel.. Well he want’s to have his cake and eat it too. He wants the City and he wants the girl, he wants the family and he wants loyalty and with Sophia he can have that but Marcel’s heart, well that sits heavily with Rebekah and will always stay with her. I think it was literally one of the best well acted scenes i’ve ever seen between them. Rebekah is always between her love life and her family and it’s so bloody important every single time they explore that on the show because it hurts my chest every single time. And that kiss, that kiss was so bloody good. That scene was so bloody sweet and perfect, I loved the amount of hurt and emotion that went into every single line. MAN CAN U TELL IM HERE FOR THIS SHIP I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW 

Next up, Davina Claire and Kol Mikaelson are literally my fav ever. I’m not going to lie, originally I was a bit sceptical but they won me over in season three, they really got me there through and through. I love that we have this aggressive and  angry vampire whose in love with literal light. I loved that scene between them, physically, mentally and emotionally they are a really good pairing. They would do anything for each other. I loved the line that Davina strung together, that she wouldn’t let Hayley die and leave Hope without a mother and that was truly well written and thought out because fundamentally, she is stable and has a conscious and the writers have good to keep to her make up. They’ve made her loyal and real. I especially loved that Kol recognised that when he went for Hope and her power he was risking never seeing Davina again, he knew once Klaus worked it out and realised that Hope would be almost used that he wasn’t going to return and that’s so important. I really really really did love that on every single level it showed how in love and pure he was for his feelings for her. Even the most angry, aggressive vampire’s deserve happiness and I’m so so so glad it’s Davina Claire that gives him that. I’m here for this trash! 

Josh and Davina’s scenes are always so real and sweet, I did enjoy their scene’s together but god how I wish that Marcel and Davina interacted. 

I missed Keelin in this episode. I really feel the absence when she’s not around in Freya’s character. They did well in acknowledging how important the love is between them but I think it’s interesting the way Freya is written, one minute she’s changing and trying to connect herself to the human inside and then sometimes I see her regress completely back to the aggressive uber witch without a thought and or care. I enjoy her internal battle, especially the budding love and adoration between Hayley and her but I feel like she risked a big stake doing that with Hayley. 

Hayley fucking Marshall, the ultimate Queen in general. I am so here for her character this season, and every single season to come. She’s so so so bloody important, her dialogue this episode did wonders to her personal development, the fact that she realised with the added benefit of Jackson/ the hollow she couldn’t continue to be linked to this unhealthy traumatic relationship between herself and Elijah. She did however fall in love with the suit and I remember yeas ago when she first fell for Elijah in season one, I was convinced that it was the persona he gave out more than anything. I know a lot of people got really upset with Hayley walking away from this love between herself and Elijah but it’s so bloody important to Hayley as a character that her daughter not be apart of an unhealthy, unhappy and violent pathway. I enjoy Elijah’s character when I don’t see him kill four innocent girls or Marcel or anyone really but I also love what they’ve done this season with him. I enjoy that they’ve had Hayley take notice of things about him that she was blindsided about last season and the season before that. 

I want to make a special mention that SHE PICKED HERSELF AND HER DAUGHTER IN THIS EPISODE. As Carina so comfortably put it, she will always love Elijah but he isn’t the right person for her. She met him when she was wounded and weak, pregnant and alone. I remember a while ago she explained she fell for him because he was kind and hell, he was the kindest person to her in that setting, in that moment, in those leading moments when the father of her child was really not. I think the progression to the storyline and development and makeup of Hayley as a character is so great. She had this epic beautiful relationship with Jackson, but she wasn’t all in. Although she seemed to be and although she wanted to be, she had this underlining love and adoration for Elijah and that was never going to go away no matter what the writers and what Jackson did so it was healthy for that to continue and resolve and come to this epic decision from Hayley with her healthy relationship to compare to. 

Jackson loved her properly and I loved that. They did good on having Hayley choose Jack over being there when Elijah woke up because it showed true growth and understanding to her character. I think she’s been taking notice over the last few episodes that what her and Elijah are is not healthy, who he is as a person and immortal is not what she wants and it took getting into this toxic uncomfortable situation to get there and I hate that she went through that but the writers did good in explaining that story because she was so heavily blinded by love for him, even after all of the things he did throughout earlier season four and the back end of season three, she continued to be blindsided. I guess I really really loved this episode and the writing that went into that monologue. 

Klaus Mikaelson, the true hero of this story. The throw away line of not leaving Hayley alone makes me think his more loyal to her than we all think. The writers have done a bang up job showing how much her cares and respects her both as a mother to his child and apart of his family. There were a lot of things we saw in this episode, the mercy he bestowed to Kol. That was soooooo fucking important, he didn’t retaliate the way we all expected, he let him go because he truly understood how important it was. Jesus my actual heart exploded everywhere to be completely honest. I loved the little jibes he threw at Bex and Marcel too. I just love this new Klaus Mikaelson so fucking much. 

And most importantly, little ol’ The Hollow is in Hope and that’s really bloody scary and worrying because we all know that this is going to throw a massive spanner and undertone to what Hayley will do next with her life and with her daughter’s life. I’m pulsing with interest! 

10/10 for character development and an end to a messy relationship! 

Thank You Nikita
It’s with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I sit down to write this, because as much as I’ve been looking forward to this day, I’ve also been dreading it. I hate endings, but everything has to end eventually. I’ve been putting off writing this post for a while now, mainly because I don’t want to accept that this is goodbye, but also because I’m not sure I can put into words everything I want to say right now, I’m still unsure, but I’ll give it my best shot. I remember the first time that I ever saw Nikita. It was the summer of 2011, maybe June, July, and an ad played on my TV, and it said something like “Press the red button to record this episode now”, and I remember waiting until the very last second to press the red button. The episode in question was actually episode 15 of season 1 (Alexandra). I remember watching it for the first time, and I instantly fell in love with it. I had no idea what was going on, hell I thought Nikita was working with Division, but I just knew that pressing that red button had been the right decision. After that, I discovered online streaming, and I managed to watch the whole of season 1 about three or four times that summer! It was safe to say that I was hooked.  I created my @AlwaysMikita twitter soon after, and found myself being accepted into something so wonderful, the Nikitaverse. I was amazed at how quickly you all welcomed me, and how easily I became one of you. I think back to those early days with a smile. At 14 I was the “baby” of the Nikitaverse, but that was okay because you accepted me anyway. Over the years, you became a family to me, and like any family, we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve celebrated gains, suffered losses, but at the end of the day we’ll always be there for each other. So here’s to the late, computer screen lit nights spent with all of you wonderful people, united in our love for this one show. Thank you for sharing these times with me, and for making these past three years amazing. I love you more than life itself, and I swear I’ll never forget you. To the people who have worked behind the scenes to make this show possible, writers, crew, stunts people, hair and makeup, wardrobe, sound, lighting, editors, I could go on infinitely, I wish that I could name each and every single one of you and thank you individually, because this show would not have been possible without you and all your hard work, so thank you all so much! To Craig Silverstein, who had an idea which turned into a TV show, and a TV show that turned into my everything. I want to thank you so much for everything you’ve done over the years, this show truly has meant more to me than I could ever hope to express in words, so thank you for giving it not just to me, but to all of us! To the entire cast, it’s all of you who made this show so great. Thank you all! To those who we’ve already said goodbye to, Xander, Dillon, Noah, and more, you were always loved and never forgotten.  To the main cast, the ones who have taken me on this wonderful adventure over the past 3 years, to all of you who have shown up every week and made me feel things that I never knew were even possible, to Maggie, Shane, Lyndsy, Aaron, Dillon, Devon, Noah, Lyndie and Melinda, I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love people that don’t even know I exist. Every single week you portray these characters with such depth, skill and intensity, and it makes me fall in love with them just a little bit more. I can’t find the words to convey how thankful I am for all of you, so I’m going to leave it at a simple “thank you so much” and hope that you know it means so much more. To Danielle, Emer, Steph, Emma, Georgina, Shauna, Sarah, and Beckie, for not just putting up with me and my probably incredibly annoying Nikita rants, but for actually caring, and taking an interest. Although the show’s over, I’m not gonna promise that this will stop (it won’t, sorry). You’re all the best friends anyone could ask for. Thank you so much! Although we only got 6 episodes in season 4, I always had absolute faith that the writers would make it amazing, and wow they did. I have loved every single second of this show and it breaks my heart to be losing it, and while I wish the CW would have given us even just a little more time to say goodbye, I’m going to have to accept that it’s the end. And now, there’s nothing left to say but goodbye. So goodbye Nikita, a show so loved and forever missed.

gosh don’t u just hate it when strong female characters fall prey to stupid girly stuff like human emotions and interpersonal relationships

i am so disappoint game of thrones

brienne of tarth WAS amazing

but since you’ve now had a single scene in which you’ve made explicit the already heavily implicit element of romantic subtext in her relationship with jaime lannister, that completely erases every other aspect of her character both retroactively and in the future

such a shame that nothing else about her matters or even exists anymore and never will again

when will people finally stop ruining strong female characters by letting them have FEELINGS and FALL IN LOVE as if they are actually nuanced beings instead of appropriately strong and impenetrable caricatures >:(

The astounding thing is that almost every single thing I’ve talked about and obsessed about so far was shown in the movie. Acted out, played out, explained through visuals or through the relationships between the characters, but it’s all there. 

I am in love with the way this movie was made. 

Cuz you can fall for a character or a theme and then headcanon your way around a movie’s insufficiency, but right now I am geeking out over everything that was given to us right there on screen, and HOW it was given to us.

I love the characters, okay, but what I’m head over heels for is the storytelling. 

I don’t have to headcanon anything, it’s all there.

I’m just so tired of the super cynical ‘everyone is an asshole’ aesthetic.  I am so beyond done with it becoming a prevalent theme in every ongoing series I watch.  We start out with our cinnamon rolls, our really kind or sweet or idealistic characters, we fall in love with them for that, and then every single goddamn time, we have to watch them devolve into some world weary, hardened fuckhead that bears little to no resemblance to the character we loved in the first place.  And we’re supposed to nod and be like ‘yeah, they’re keeping it real!’  Fuck that.  That’s not keeping it real, that’s fucking lazy.  Instead of keeping a character true to themselves, let’s make them just like everyone else.  Let’s make them a total self-involved asshole with no morals whatsoever.  It’s so entertaining.  Tune in next week to see what totally nasty shit they can pull next!

The grossly ironic part is that is why I refused to watch Shameless for three seasons.  Every time I saw the promos for it, that’s exactly what I assumed it was.  Some piece of shit show full of disgusting characters who did increasingly ‘scandalous’ stuff for shock value.  When I finally sat down and watched it, I was blown away by how wrong I was.  These characters (sans Frank) had so much heart.  This family had so much love for each other; they defied every stereotype.  They were in a shit situation; they did pretty shocking, amusing, and rather realistic stuff to survive, but they never lost their humanity or their compassion and connection to each other.  I was so mad at myself for missing out on that for so long.

I got to enjoy that for one whole season.  One season before that was blown to hell.  Now I’m not an idiot; I didn’t expect them all to be frolicking in fields and never make mistakes or hurt each other, or themselves.   But I didn’t expect them to lose their sense of self altogether.  Every last one of them.  Fiona. Lip. Ian. Debbie. Carl.  Everything that was important to them dissolved.  It’s so beyond Ian x Mickey; the heart is gone out of this show.  It’s become exactly what I was afraid it was in the first place; a bunch of shallow and self-involved characters doing scandalous shit for the sake of being shocking.  With absolutely not attention paid to actual canon and no consistency whatsoever.

I know I’m just saying what others have already said, but I guess I just kept hoping I was wrong somehow and this could be fixed.  It’s quite the blow to realize I wasn’t.

And I know that’s why I’m so crushed over Mickey.  While all the other characters were becoming more cynical and cold, he was becoming the opposite - he gave up everything for love.  He definitely isn’t a perfect character by any means, but he was the one who gave us hope.  That maybe there is a place for kindness and unconditional love, that not everything in this world is shit.

And for that, he doesn’t even get a semi-happy ending.  All are punished, indeed.

I’m done with watching and reading heartless, soulless bullshit.  There are amazing hearts and minds in this world, in every day people, in people who live in and come from the worst of situations.  I’m sick and tired of so rarely seeing that represented on my screen.

I’m done.  Done, done.

So I watched Camp Takota once again last night. (I have lost count of how many times I have watched it) And once again it touched me, this beautiful masterpiece of a film created by the super talented and beautiful miss Mamrie Hart! As I am doing the 100 Happy Days challenge on Instagram, I instantly used this as my day 86 because this movie makes so happy. 

No matter how many times I watch Camp Takota, I still gasp with shock, laugh uncontrollably, giggle like a little girl, smile so big it hurts and cry a river of tears with every amazing scene. It’s just a beautifully written film that you can watch over and over, and still fall in love with it every single time. The love that radiates from this film is unbelievable! The three best friends that make up the Holy Trinity showcase their amazing talents in this film, showing us not only can they drink like goldfish, make some amazing and also terrible puns, and just be the silliest of silly, they can also write, and act like no-one else. (Like who knew Hannah Hart was so amazing at acting)  

I am sure each member of this fandom can relate somehow to the girls’ different characters in this movie. For me, I have concluded that I am so much like Maxine, from her side ponytail, her intense organisational skills (obsession with making charts) her need for authority, extreme work ethic, teacher complex, over emotional personality, her need to make up hilarious dance moves and just embrace her weirdness, (those Katy Perry and Lady Gaga costumes you know what I’m saying) and so much more it’s insane. I also believe that cuteness overload that is Penny is exactly what my child will look like in the future especially with those oversized glasses …. too cute! 

This film shows us that no matter how bad our problems are and no matter how far we run away from them, they will come back to haunt us, but in the end, it will all turn out alright especially if we have a little help from some of our friends. They show us so much positivity and inspire us to carry on and overcome obstacles in life, and that it is okay to ask for some help, we can’t tackle everything on our own all the time.

I for one, I am seriously looking forward to future films (and other projects) created by and starring the three girls because come on, you have to admit that they are so amazing and inspiring and hilarious together. 

Thank you mamrie mydrunkkitchen and gracehelbig for us all SM:)E 

You bring laughter, happiness and so much inspiration into our lives, we are forever grateful (!!!!)

Dream Impossible Things

Aiffs xoxo 

I am still crying over Sara you guys...

Like seriously, it’s been all morning. It’s bad. Really bad. The fact that I have absolutely no sleep in me may be a contributing factor.  lol I was totally fine and then my husband sent me this lovely text. Please keep in mind, that after I was done screaming “I knew it!!!” and then a barrage of expletives the moment Sara was shot, I head upstairs to jump on the blog and commiserate with all you lovely people. About 10 minutes later, I came back downstairs. The shock had worn off and I was sobbing hysterically. He listened to me for almost 20 minutes just cry about Sara & Laurel, Laurel & Oliver, Sara & Oliver and of course…my babies Oliver & Felicity. 

Anyways, here’s the text. 

I realized this morning what makes u an epic writer. These are not just characters in a TV show to you. They are real people.

(I was only half awake when I read this, so I was confused)

You think I’m a good writer?

Epic writer. I’ve been catching up on Tumblr this morning. Love you. Go to bed.

I’m not telling you guys this to toot my own horn or anything. He is my husband and is legally required to think the sun shines out of my ass. His love makes him biased and I adore him for it.

No, I’m telling you guys this because he knows me better than I know myself. It’s true. I realize I probably need therapy, but these characters are very real to me. They are in my living room, every week, month after month and year after year. These beautiful creations that this amazingly talented writers create. I fall in love with them.  All of them. There is not a single character on this TV show that I do not love very deeply (Laurel included). And that has not happened since BTVS.

So, I am very very sad. I am mourning Sara Lance hard core. I am trying to write this meta but I’m finding it very difficult. I’ll get a grip eventually but I just want you all to know that I love my Arrow family very much. You bring a lot of joy to my life and your beautiful asks and messages are helping quite a bit. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you and my family with you.

Love you all!

Why did I watch that movie and fall insanely in love with that character, THE TRAILER

I googled the actor and learned his life story, THE SNEAK PEAKS

I went to imdb and checked out every single movie he was ever in, bought them, downloaded them, even when he made a two minute appearance, THE MOVIE

I looked him up on tumblr, THE DVD RELEASE

I even went through tags, THE GAG REEL

I am now stupidly in love with the man and have devoted my free time blogging about him, talking of him and generally flailing over him, THE EXTENDED EDITION