i am done for the day guys

I have discovered that one of my favorite new friends from Sister District REALLY likes Les Mis, has read the brick and all, and I am like oh friend, you are talking to the right person. Am totally going to have him over to watch Les Mis Dallas soon, cause he needs to see it. 

At overhearing this, another guy in the group was like “you know, on the day after Trump’s election I put my headphones and listened to Les Mis and cried” and I was like “yeah same, I feel you.”

Hobi is on Vlive! + ship update

I am trying to watch him and do homework at the same time which is kind of hard.

For ships… I once again had a rough homework day, so I am not sure if ships are getting out tonight. I am so sorry I really feel bad but I am running myself into the ground with school and I am starting to burn out. 

I am done making promises that I don’t know if I can keep… so I will post when I can. 

The semester ends in less than 5 weeks… so in mid December I will have a lot more free time to get all requests out before I start the semester at my new school in late January.

Thank you all for being so understanding… I wish my life wasn’t this unpredictable, but that’s my reality as a student right now.

I haven’t animated in so long??

So, I’m generally rolling around, flailing at all the Miraculous Ladybug Season 2, and my boyfriend has been watching, very interested by my reactions. He has been kindly listening to me screech about the love square, when he suddenly pips up and goes:
“If Ladybug and Chat Noir get together and have kids, would they be Catbug?”

I

Wait

No

+

=

i CAN’T UNSEE IT NOW

5

Hello ! I’m a bit nervous about showing you this because we look up to you a lot ! So, me and my sister did these cosplays of Cuppuccino and Maggy from you AU. Cuphead and Mugman are our favorite characters and when you submitted genderbends, we couldn’t resist cosplaying them.
The cosplays are fully made by us !
We hope you like them, we had a lot of fun being your characters :D
My sister is Maggy (@/kataikun is her Instagram she doesn’t have a tumblr)
I am Cuppuccino (my insta is @/zallysmadhouse)

Hope you like it have a very nice day ! >//<

cosplay by luddythegrinch

  • response:

well ain’t that sweet! X3

very well done, hope you guys had fun with em!

A MESSAGE FROM AVI
Hello everyone. If you haven’t yet watched the video then these words might come as a shock to you. If you have watched, know that this is exactly what I would have said in the video, if filming it wasn’t one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. This morning, I announced that I will be taking a step back from PTX.
I’ve struggled with this decision a lot. It has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Before I explain why, I want you all to know that the past 6 years have been the most unbelievable years of my life. The things we’ve accomplished, the places we’ve seen, the people we’ve touched with our music… It surpasses anything that I could have ever dreamed up for my life.
I believe one of the big reasons why we have been so successful and accomplished all that we have is because of the unbelievably fast pace that we keep. Throughout my journey with PTX, this pace has always been a struggle for me. It’s been hard for me not to be with my family and friends when I need them or when they need me. It’s been hard to not be able to escape into nature when I’m feeling overwhelmed or just need some time to myself.
Through all of this, I’ve done my best and I’ve kept pushing myself to keep up. Really, the reason why I’ve been able to push so hard and for so long has been because of you guys. You all have inspired me and lifted me up every single day and, for that, I am eternally grateful.
I do love you all so very much, but I’ve come to a point where I just can’t keep up anymore and I would never want to inhibit any type of success that we have because I truly do believe in everything that we’ve done and everything that they will do. I just know that I can no longer continue at this pace and so I have to do what’s best for the group and I have to do what’s best for me.
I do want you all to know that I’m still going to be doing music and I’m going to be doing it with my whole heart. I will ALWAYS do my best to lift others up with my voice. I hope that you’ll all support my decision and that you can understand where I’m coming from. And regardless of anything, I just want to thank you for all that you’ve given to me. I have been so unbelievably blessed and humbled to be a part of all your lives in any way and I wanted you to hear this from me. From my voice. And from my heart.
I love you all deeply and I thank you for everything. Truly.
And just so you know, I will still be performing at all of our announced shows, so come say hi and give me a hug. I love hugs.
Avi


I know the announcement is already going around tumblr but I thought I’d upload the video. Watching it made me realize how sad and sorry he is. And even though I’m upset about the news, I think I’m more worried about him. I’m seeing lots of support and love for him on the internet, and I hope he’ll see it. Hopefully his decision will allow him to take back control of his life, get some rest and focus on whatever he wants. Maybe he’ll finally ask Sara Bareilles out, who knows… I just want him to be happy. It’s going to be hard for the band and for us fans, but both Avi and Pentatonix will still be able to make good music and succeed; except now he’s going to be able to breathe and go at his own pace.
Also, give him a hug from me if you can! x

4

Jongin for Esquire Korea 2017 Feb issue

Markiplier Gothic

-The lucky flannel has returned. The lucky flannel will always return. You cannot seem to destroy the lucky flannel. No matter how many times you steal it and burn it in the woods behind your house, it always makes its way back to him. You have tried to warn him many times, warn him that the luck comes with a price, warn him that the flannel will one day demand that all debts are paid; he has not heard your warnings, or perhaps he is ignoring them. Either way, you sadly conclude, it is too late. He is too far gone now.
You stop trying to steal the lucky flannel.

-“Herb lore,” you hear one, solitary voice chirp. It is a voice you do not recognize.
“Herb lore.” Responds another.
A cacophony of voices suddenly surround you. “Herb lore, herb lore, HERB LORE!” They chant, although not quite in unison.
You do not know where these voices are coming from, nor do you remember when you started chanting with them. With each passing repetition, you forget a little more about the life you lived before herb lore. You keep chanting anyway.

- @markiplier uses a slightly different voice for approximately 4 and a half seconds in a video. By the time you click away and open a new tab, Tumblr has created a character out of this voice. They have named him Kevin. Kevin now has four ask blogs and twelve fan blogs, seven of which have some variant of the phrase “protection squad” in their usernames. One of them is dedicated solely to NSFW KevinxAntisepticeye fan fiction. It already has 300 followers.

-Every once and a while, you hear the Ancient Ones howling outside your window in the middle of the night. “COLA AND MEAL PLEASE, NO BREAD,” they shriek. You do not know what this means. You are too afraid to ask.

-“Markiplier’s fanbase is a bunch of 12 year olds,” you hear them say. You look around, but you can’t see any. You realize that you can’t remember the last time you saw a 12 year old at all. What does a 12 year old look like? How long have you been older than 12? Were you ever 12?
You turn to the person nearest to you. It is a middle-aged man. He has a wife and two children. He works in accounting.
“How old are you?” You ask.
“12,” he replies.
You scream.

-“Subscribe for More!” reads the cheerful font at the end of the compilation video. It is not a suggestion.

-A blonde woman in an alien-themed sweatshirt passes you in the grocery store. As she walks around your cart, her arm brushes against a six pack of Corona.
“I CAN’T DRINK THAT, OR I WILL LITERALLY DIE,” a voice booms, the noise crackling in the air like lightning. The woman glances at you and you nod, confirming that, yes, you heard it too.

-“Shares are a little low this month,” he tells you. Something about his tone fills you with a strange, primal fear. You share his videos with your friends. You share them with family. You write the URLS on pieces of paper and staple them to trees.
“Shares are a little low this month.”
You’re positive it’s a warning this time.

-You go on a date with Markiplier. “You look so familiar. Have we met?” he asks. You decide not to tell him that you have. You have done all of this before. You have always been on this date with Markiplier.
There are now two Markipliers. You are holding them both at gunpoint. You know that the one on the left is the real one, because you have done this before. You have always been doing this.
You shoot the one on the left anyway.
Afterwards, you go out for ice cream.
“Bonjour!” The man behind the counter smiles. His eyes are not yet filled with quiet desperation. He must not know about the time loop.
You go on a date with Markiplier.

AMERICAN GODS SENTENCE STARTERS

episode six - a murder of gods.

  • ❝ you saved me. thank you. ❞
  • ❝ you already know my name. ❞
  • ❝ what are they ?
  • ❝ oh motherfucker, you never just answer a fucking question
  • ❝ that’s not a question, ___ , a question would be: what do you believe you saw ?
  • ❝ i don’t know what i believe. ❞
  • ❝ it was a warning to me, and a sacrifice to them. ❞
  • ❝ sacrifice ? like –– like what, for –– for a god ?
  • ❝ what’s a god ? can we even know they exist ? people believe things, which means they’re real. that means we know they exist. so what came first ? gods ? or the people who believed in them ?
  • ❝ where was all this before i met you ?
  • ❝ there’s always a window. but people are frightened to look through it. it’s safer in the prison cell. ❞
  • ❝ we’re not safe now. ❞
  • ❝ who are you ?
  • ❝ i believe in some things. ❞
  • ❝ your wife obviously has a temper. not used to getting her way, huh
  • ❝ your dearly departed has departed and i suggest we should do the same. ❞
  • ❝ was she a ghost ? i mean, do you think you saw a ghost ?
  • ❝ you know, you’re not questioning any of this. i’m questioning everything right now. ❞
  • ❝ i’m not so young nor so narrow to assume the dead are dead, and there’s no spectrum or spectral in between. in my experience, the dead that aren’t rarely come back without purpose. ❞
  • ❝ her purpose was to let you go, now get in. ❞
  • ❝ now you’ve seen who’s after us, and you know what they’re capable of. you can hang around here if you want, but i’m getting out of here. ❞
  • ❝ fuck ! where the fuck is my car !
  • ❝ yes, it does belong to the dead woman, i am the dead woman. where’s my fucking car
  • ❝ first piece of luck i’ve had in days. ❞
  • ❝ worse things out tonight than you. ❞
  • ❝ isn’t she lovely ?
  • ❝ i’ve done the math. this times that equals you’re a cunt, divided by the only way i’m gonna get what i need is if you give it to me equals the only way you’re gonna give it to me is if you don’t need it. ❞
  • ❝ like my friend jesus christ, the only thing you need, ___ , is resurrection. ❞
  • ❝ did you just name drop jesus christ like you know a guy who knows a guy ?
  • ❝ i can be very convincing. ❞
  • ❝ is this you being convincing now ? because you suck at it. ❞
  • ❝ i’m trying to convince you to live. real living. not whatever rot living this is. ❞
  • ❝ why don’t you put that on your fucking scales and weigh it
  • ❝ what the fuck are you ? i mean, what the fuck are any of you, but first, tell me, what the fuck are you ? seriously, what the fuck are you ?!
  • ❝ please stop stealing my cab. ❞
  • ❝ i have been traveling in the direction of mecca for days, looking for a jinn. ❞
  • ❝ i’ll tell you where to find a whole murder of gods, demi and otherwise. every god damned one of them. ❞
  • ❝ i know a charm that can lift grief from a grieving heart. ❞
  • ❝ do you know a charm that can stop bleeding ?
  • ❝ i know a charm that can cure sickness and pain and a charm that can turn away the weapons of enemies. i know a charm that can heal with a touch. ❞
  • ❝ excuse the cold hands. ❞
  • ❝ there’s always been a god shaped hole in man’s head. trees were the first to fill it. ❞
  • ❝ mr. wood was the trees, mr. wood was the forest. see, he was a very old god who saw something very new. he saw a god fearing society turn towards complete industrialization. so what did he do ? he sacrificed his trees, he sacrificed his forest, and he became something else. ❞
  • ❝ well, at this stage it’s ‘we’ll see’, or, ‘time will tell’, but if it’ll rest your weary head, then yeah, it’s gone. ❞
  • ❝ religion inspires in those who fear nothing, fear of the gods, and using that fear requires a certain element of fucked up. ❞
  • ❝ i’m not scared of anything anymore. ❞
  • ❝ i’m scared you’re never gonna shut that flapping hole of yours. i’m sitting here having a fucking anxiety attack because i am genuinely terrified that you are never gonna shut the fuck up. ❞
  • ❝ did you kill ___ ? i won’t tell. ❞
  • ❝ my name is ___. or … it was ___. i do not know what my name is now. ❞
  • ❝ i just realized that i’m never gonna see my mother again. i’m never gonna hear her say my name again. i’m never gonna eat her cooking again. ❞
  • ❝ are you dead ?
  • ❝ this is my afterlife, ___. ❞
  • ❝ did you pray for another life
  • ❝ i do not pray to ask god for things. i pray to thank god, for bringing me where i am. to this time, to this place, where i finally know what i must do in this life. ❞
  • ❝ i pray i find ___. he is my afterlife. i knew him. we knew each other. and now i wish to know more. ❞
  • ❝ people will defend the warm safe feeling their america gives them. they will defend it with bullets. ❞
  • ❝ less a funeral than a celebration of a sacrifice. ❞
  • ❝ if i know my friend, somebody got tossed into the volcano. ❞
  • ❝ this was a human sacrifice ❞ 
  • ❝ that’s him. head of the crowd. the one they flock to. ❞
  • ❝ please, go in peace. ❞
  • ❝ what rock did you crawl out from under ?
  • ❝ playing a little hide and seek. hiding from the proverbial them, and seeking … you. ❞
  • ❝ i need you to believe in me. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve heard your name on the wind. ❞
  • ❝ we’re at war already, and we’re losing. you, me, all of us. they’re taking honey from our mouths. ❞
  • ❝ i have no use for shame. ❞
  • ❝ it’s easier to pass for the living in the dark, if i felt the need to pass. ❞
  • ❝ your heart’s not beating for this life anymore, ___. this life is done. ❞
  • ❝ that doesn’t obligate him to feel shit. ❞
  • ❝ perhaps i misjudged the kiss. ❞
  • ❝ death do us part, take the fucking hint. he’s gone. your man came, saw you, tasted death on your tongue, and he fucking left. ❞
  • ❝ your kind of love, ___, is the worst kind of love of them all. you can love somebody even when you know they don’t like it. even when you know they don’t want it. ❞
  • ❝ that’s some profound fucking knowledge for you right there, wrapped up in a quaint sexual metaphor. ❞
  • ❝ people do tend to behave if they know they’re being watched. they like being watched. ❞
  • ❝ somebody’s watching. somebody’s always watching. ❞
  • ❝ what did you do to become the god of this little universe that you’ve created ?
  • ❝ you’re no stranger to sacrifice. ❞
  • ❝ they don’t sacrifice anymore. not to me. ❞
  • ❝ you could always sacrifice yourself. you’ve done it before. ❞
  • ❝ you ever see a man hanged, ___ ? throat crushed, gasping for life. it’s a terrible way to find your faith. faith doesn’t have to leave the faithful dangling. ❞
  • ❝ you are what you worship. ❞
  • ❝ the power of fire is firepower. ❞
  • ❝ not god, but godlike. and they believe. ❞
  • ❝ god bless the believers. ❞
  • ❝ i’ll make you a blade worthy of a god. ❞
  • ❝ i know who he is, and who he’s always been. i can depend on that. ❞
  • ❝ you’re not here at the moment. you’re distracted. i wonder why. ❞
  • ❝ she’s out in the cold, but … she doesn’t feel it anymore. or maybe … maybe it’s all she feels, now. ❞
  • ❝ they make blood sacrifices to you. ❞
  • ❝ you could use a blood sacrifice. ❞
  • ❝ you sold us out. ❞
  • ❝ you saw what i was. i was a story people forgot to remember to tell. and they gave me a gun. they put power back in my hands. and i gotta tell you; it feels good. ❞
  • ❝ i never needed my religion to be moral. ❞
  • ❝ moralizing religions are materialistic ones. they all need their martyrs. ❞
  • ❝ i’m laying down a curse. i’m cursing the whole fucking thing. ❞
  • ❝ god is great. ❞
  • ❝ life is great. ❞
Happy 17 Million Subs, Markiplier!

Happy 17 Million Subs, Markiplier!

@markiplier

Sorry for the late post. I wanted to post it when we hit 17 mil, but you know I’m shy about my art and also I slaved over this for two days please be gentle

This was a pretty fun one to work on. My health is the same as always, so straight lines are absolutely still not a thing I can do, but I’ve been trying to embrace the messier aesthetic and I’m really quite pleased with how these turned out. 

I know it still leaves a lot to be desired, but comparing it to similar things I have done in the past, like the 7 Million Sub art (which also has a dog) or the unholy mess that was the 8 Million Sub art (which I’m trying to give myself a pass on since I was at the hospital that day, but c’mon guys, that was bad) I am definitely improving. 

If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll notice that my art and myself dropped right off the face of the planet for a year, almost two. I had no confidence in myself or in my work, and I let that take me away from what I love to do. It was Mark who brought me back into it. As I mentioned in this post, a lot of things changed for me after I watched the video where Mark talks about how he is excited for failure, because it helps him to grow. Directly after that, simply because one of my roommates put it in the queue on the Chromecast, I watched Mark’s Draw My Life. Although our circumstances are very different, I saw myself in him. I saw myself in the lost person who switched college majors all the time and didn’t know what he wanted. As weird as it sounds, that gave me some hope, which is something I desperately needed. If he can pull himself out, why can’t I?

So here’s the truth: I am in school for advertising, but what I really want is to be a writer. It’s my dream, and my passion is art. I quit both for a very long time, because I couldn’t accept the fact that my illnesses are chronic. I couldn’t accept that I will never “get better”, and that made me stop trying, because why live a broken life, anyway? But just because I’m fractured doesn’t mean I have no value. My brain thinks some terribly sad things, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write beautiful ones. My hands may be unable to draw straight lines, but that doesn’t mean they can’t draw pretty ones. 

So thanks for helping me learn that, Mark. I know you’ll never see this, of course. I’m not delusional. But I’d much rather have a thank-you unheard than a thank-you unsaid, y’know?

So thank you. 

Because of you, I’m trying again.

~*~

As always, you can find these pieces of art on my Redbubble here. (x) (x) (x)

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my ramble. I know it’s irrelevant to you guys, but it helps knowing that I might not just be shouting into the void.

Top Secrets of Straight-A Students by Bullet Journals

1.) They get to class early. Getting to class early gives you time to be prepared and ready to study. Review your notes from the day before, lay out all your supplies (notebook, water bottle, pens, etc). You can also ask the teacher any questions you had about the material.

2.) They get ahead. The second they get an assignment, no matter when it is due, they do it. This is so so helpful. Do NOT procrastinate. You just end up being exhausted and tired. It’s not worth it. You might as well finish once you get it. Life will be so easy, believe me.

3.) They have an organized schedule. They figure out a schedule that works for them. They make sure to include time for extracurriculars, breaks, meal times, etc. Try to map out EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of your day. 

4.) They prepare. They lay out their clothes for the next day, they finish their homework early, they even plan out what they will have for their meals for the next few weeks and what exercises theyt will be doing.

5.) They enjoy learning and want to learn. They aren’t just there because they have to be. They have a strong desire to learn. When you want to learn (even if you fake it) you usually do better on exams and papers.

6.) Everything is organized. Their desk has nothing on it but their Mac, their pens are neatly on the shelf in small cups, they make their beds the second they get out of bed. They have a filing system, so the second they get papers back they put them in the files. When everything of yours has a home it’s a lot easier to study and be productive.

7.) They treat school like their job. They may have other part-time jobs, but they know that school is their main focus, and it should therefore be treated as a job. Not wanting to be fired from your job corresponds with not wanting to fail your classes. They therefore work as hard as they can and try to “impress” the boss.

8.) They give it everything they have. They are dedicated, have goals, and know what they want. They don’t want to “just get through high school/college.” They want to learn, they want to become successful, and most are even aiming for goals such as valedictorian. They won’t accept B’s or C’s. (Please note that while it is very good to have high standards, getting a lower grade once in awhile isn’t that big of a deal!!!)

9.) They keep themselves happy and healthy. They take well deserved breaks (only when everything is done), they have “off” days, they get enough SLEEP and WATER, and they keep themselves fit doing yoga, running, cardio, etc.

10) They don’t mind helping other people. They don’t turn a blind eye to people who need help. Instead they use it as a teaching experience, and help the student through the problem or whatever they need help with. Teaching people is super helpful. I sometimes write on my whiteboard and pretend that I am teaching an imaginary (I’m such a loser but it helps;).

I hope you guys enjoyed this post!  Add your own tips below!

•••••••••• UPDATE (as of october 2017) - i know the title is misleading (i made this post in middle school lol) but please know that these tips work for me and will not work for everybody; i am also not a spokesperson for straight a students. everyone studies differently and straight a students come in a lot of different shapes and sizes. keep studying hard, love you all!

anonymous asked:

There's one little girl whose gone trick-or-treating to the hat manor dressed like Black Hat for something like five years now. She's worked out that if she says dressed up as "The second evilest bad guy ever after the real Black Hat" and puts a paper bag on her baby brother's head and yells at him, she'll get her entire sack filled with the GOOD candy every single time.

((So. Not officially back yet, but you guys deserve your Halloween candy. Which I now present to you a day late because I am the worst. Anyways Early Action Apps are done just have Regular Decision to go))

  • The first time she went, she had been dressed up as a princess or whatever. Black Hat answers the door expecting a customer and gets a little girl asking for candy. The fuck is this human bullshit. “Come back when you look evil,” he says, slamming the door on her face.
  • She’s dragged off by her worried mother the next instant, but boy oh boy did BH pick the wrong fucking kid to do that to. little sally or whatever the hell is very, very persistent.
  • she shows up the next year. dressed as a pirate. BH scoffs. “Bad initial concept, worse execution. 2/10.” “Then what’s more evil??”
  • Black Hat g r i n s. “This” *cue the normal demon face mode bullshit.* Sally manages to stand her ground. Alright, not bad for a twerp. “This, you see, is classy. That” he gestures at her costume, “is just tacky.” The door slams again.
  • Next year. next year is the key. She steals a tuxedo from her older brother, buys a hat at party city, and makes a mean-looking mask out of construction paper and crayons.
  • She goes to the manor, rings the doorbell, and waits. Black Hat opens the door. (By now, Dr. Flug has told him that yes, this day is Halloween and yes, that’s why this shit keeps happening.) He stares down at her, impassive, face giving nothing away. She stares back at him, unblinking behind angry paper eyes.
  • “One moment,” Black Hat retreats back into the house, emerging moments later with a genuine fucking cauldron full of shit. He motions for her to hold out her pillowcase, and casually upends:
    • One (1) completely unopened Nestle Fun Size Halloween Candy Variety Pack (110 Piece Value Bag)
    • One (1) gallon of assorted candy pieces from alternate dimensions (None of the writing is in english, but it still looks tasty)
    • Three (3) yards worth of black licorice (BH’s favorite)
    • Several knives
    • Two (2) grenades
    • One (1) pink taser
    • A couple paperclips
    • $5000 in cash
  • It’s a pretty good Halloween haul. Black Hat denies being flattered. Nope. No way. It was just a good costume, alright?!?
How To Kiss

So, I had a sultry, sexy intro devised to transition into this topic, but I’m sure you saw the picture I made for this, so let’s not beat around the bush. Today, I am going to teach you three things, which I have learned through great personal hardship combined with extensive research. But first, I know you have questions. Can I be trusted? Who am I to tell you how to kiss? Do I know how to kiss? Umm. Yes. But I have made a kisser’s resume for you, right here:

  • has lips
  • has kissed a good number of boys. Not prudish. Not slutty (Not that those labels are even slightly relevant or meaningful. No thank you, patriarchy). 
  • but seriously I’ve done some kissing in my day
  • the last three guys I kissed ALL TOLD ME I WAS A GOOD KISSER
  • numbers like that don’t lie

I rest my case. Now. Let it begin. My first topic is:

INITIATING KISSING

Okay, there are basically two ways you can do this: direct and indirect. Directly, you are the initiator of kisses. You put your mouth on his/her mouth. Indirect, you do some hair-twirling, eye-lash batting magic and make them kiss you. 

DIRECT INITIATION

A big goal here is to not kiss anyone who doesn’t want to kiss you. That sounds terrible for every involved party. So. To make your intentions clear (but not like, weirdly clear) do the following:

  1. Touch. Anything from a casual physical contact while talking, or taking their arm while walking, or holding hands is a great way to indicate interest, and to break the touch barrier and make it a smooth transition into PUTTING YOUR MOUTH ON THEIR MOUTH. Sorry. I got excited. 
  2. Get close. Lean in while talking, snuggle up when appropriate. Physical closeness is the perfect precursor to any kiss.
  3. Optional: hand on face. I’m a fan of hand on face because it makes your intentions oh-so-clear, it helps to guide you in, and it also is just plain nice, as a kiss recipient. Other options include hand on waist, hand on shoulder, hand under chin, whichever strikes your fancy.
  4. Optional, again: ask. Some people hate to be asked, but it can be polite and sweet. If you’re uncertain, asking doesn’t hurt. Or just say, “I’d really like to kiss you,” or pay a genuine and personal compliment, like, “you’re so beautiful,” or “you’re incredible, you know that?” with lots of eye contact and coy smiling. 
  5. Close your eyes. Trust yourself to get your mouth safely to its destination. 
  6. Put your lips on their lips! Always closed mouth at first. For the love of all that is holy, go in with your mouth closed. Please don’t terrorize the kissing population with an open mouth on impact.

INDIRECT INITIATION

The steps for direct and indirect initiation are going to look the same for a while.

Except instead of step three, you’re going to do the eyes-mouth-eyes gaze maneuver, a maneuver which has never failed me. I repeat, never failed. So, here we go: The eyes-mouth-eyes gaze maneuver. It is shockingly self explanatory. You, at a reasonably close distance, look at their eyes, smile a little, hold for a second, look at their mouth, maintaining mysterious smile, and then look back to their eyes if they aren’t already kissing you. Which they should be. Because this maneuver is like, universal code for “kiss me now, please.” If the maneuver fails, it is easily transitioned out of, and makes for great flirting regardless of outcome.

Now, my second topic of conversation:

MOVE YOUR MOUTH AND HANDS IN PLEASANT WAYS

Now that you have achieved your goal, your lips are touching, it’s all about what you do with those lips. Kissing does come down to personal preference a lot of the time, but I’ve listed a few good things to do, and a few bad things to do, with both mouth and hands. 

GOOD THINGS TO DO

  • Pay attention to their responses. Match pace, and force. You can take the lead, but be a benevolent leader. No need to scare anyone with kissing too hard or fast too soon. That’s how you get your teeth clinked on their teeth, which is rookie stuff. 
  • Know where to put your hands. For girls, this mostly means small of her back, her face, and her hair. A hand in your hair, or playing with a girl’s hair while kissing is delightful. For guys, this will be his back, shoulders, and face and hair, again. It’s super nice. If you’re brave, there are other places for hands to be, but as far as a polite, basic kiss, this is what you need to know.
  • Use your tongue nicely. Which means intermittently, and not too forcefully. Use it to trace one of their lips; use it gently and play it by ear. 
  • Let it come naturally. Kissing is not difficult; it’s almost instinctive. Have faith in yourself. However, when it comes to tongue, err on the side of caution.

BAD THINGS TO DO

  • GO IN WITH AN OPEN MOUTH. Don’t, don’t ever. This is scary.
  • Too hard, too fast. Ease into it, tiger. If you rush in, guns blazing, people get scared.
  • Ignore signals. Your partner will usually kiss the way they want to be kissed, and so should you. Listen to each other. This also goes for hands; if a partner puts their hands where they are not welcome, just take them and guide them back. This should be enough of a hint. The opposite is also true; be aware and respectful of boundaries. 
  • All tongue, all the time. Change it up, and for the love of god don’t leave your tongue limp in their mouth. That’s terrible. 

END A KISS

In writing this, I realized I don’t actually remember how most kisses end. However I don’t remember it ever being awkward, which means it’s probably pretty instinctive. Just be nice, all the time; that’s the best advice there is. Whether it’s a non-committal make out or a kiss you hope to repeat, smile a lot, be nice, and leave them wanting more. 

As always, I hope this helps! Go out, put your lips on one another, kiss passionately and without remorse. Heaven knows I do. 

With Love, 

Kate