i am done and i really like how it turned out :)

Confessions

A drunk!Dean x Reader / fluff

A/N: Hey, it’s me! Just writing two things in one week. (It’s probably going to snow). This is just something that popped into my head, because I love drunk!Dean/Jensen. I hope you guys like it. Your response fuels my writing. Let me know what you think! ♥

Word Count: 1,302

Warnings:
- language.
- implied smut (kind of)

Tags: (at the end)
*if you want to be tagged in future fics, send me an ask.

*gif is not mine.

It was early for you, considering you normally didn’t wake up until at least noon. Looking at your phone, you realized it was only 7 am. Sam wasn’t even awake yet; his bedroom door next to yours still closed. With no windows in the Bunker, it was hard for you to wake up with the dawn anymore, your body used to the sun being your alarm clock. Walking down the hallway into the kitchen, you could hear faint giggling. It was a deep, goofy giggle, and you knew exactly who it was coming from.

Keep reading

2

Matt insisted on putting the glow in the dark stars up. :)

I do feel bad for plants in general.
Like, I know they are often as vicious as animals in many ways, just slower.
But, I mean, they just show up and they’re like, “I Think I Will Evolve To Eat The Sun And Also Make Oxygen And How Now Is All This.”
And, like, everything fucking dies at first (totally not plants fault, btw. okay maybe it was but they didn’t mean to) but then new things evolve.
And they’re like, “Fuck it, eating each other suuuucks. Let’s eat the plants which give us life.”
And so we start doing that.
And plants are all, “Oh Dear No, I Do Not Care At All For Being Eaten. I Will Make Myself Into Poison Sometimes.”
But, y'know, stuff kept eating plants anyway so plants, ever the bro, came up with a new idea. “I Have Made A Decision About Being Eaten And You May Eat Me Friends And Here Is An Especially Tasty Bit Packed All Full of Delicious Sugars Which I Have Produced At Great Cost (What They Do Not Know Is That My Seeds Are Within And Shall Be Propagated Near And Far By Their Dung)“
But that’s not good enough for animals, no, not at all.
We love the fuck out of some pomegranates but also alliums which are like, "I Have Not Decided To Go In For This Being Eaten Business. I Shall Be Very Foul Tasting And Also A Poison.”
But no, sorry, onions, you fucked up.
You accidentally wound up with a species that just doesn’t give up or fully comprehend the idea of things tasting “”‘bad’“’ or other concepts like not eating poison. (Sorry, plants, later we turn some of you who are not poison into a poison we consume recreationally. We really enjoy eating poison.) 
Legit, alliums are deadly to, like, every other species.
And we call them aromatics and throw them in everything.
Peppers are the best, though.
They completely got on the being eaten train.
BUT ONLY BIRDS
Peppers are like, "You May Eat Me, Fair Avian, For You Are Sure To Spread Me A Great Distance. But, Mammal, Take HEED. Should You Eat Me Then I Will Burn You Most Terribly.”
And we were all about that.
“The FUCK, burning? I love pain,” said humans, presumably.
“You know, peppers, you and evolution have done a good job at burning us but I am pretty sure we could make your chemical agony even more potent. Come hang with us,” humans added to a very confused pepper just before creating the ghost chili.

Consider a fantasy story where, as often seems to happen in this genre, a young human is pulled from their world into a world of magic and elves and wizards and prophecies.

But this happens just about every other Tuesday in this world because the resident soothsayer is a little trigger-happy and is spouting off prophecies left and right. So there’s been an influx of teenaged humans without adult supervision and the reigning queen had to set up an investigative bureau and a complaints department just to deal with this problem.


So our human protagonist finds themselves in a dark spooky forest, stuck in some kind of ewok-style trap. Along comes a bearded elf (don’t tease him about the beard, he’s trying to make a good impression on the dwarf lady in charge of his department) who looks up at the net, sighs, and out comes the paperwork.


“If you wouldn’t mind, please state your name, age, and how you came to this realm.”


“How what now?”


“What was it? Wardrobe? Magic portal? Dragged under the bed by trolls?”


“Um…I just woke up here?” They mumble, confused.


“Alrighty,” the elf flips a few pages. “We’ll just skip to section D then. Any inherent magic? Any strange inheritances received lately?”


“No?” The protagonist leans on the net. “I mean, my former roommate gave me their old David Bowie CD collection, but I don’t think that counts.”


The elf nods once or twice, hard to tell if he’s listening or not, and pencils a few things in. “Alright, we’re almost done with the preliminary stuff, then we can get you out of there and down to the Bureau so we can get you home. Current status of parents or parental figures?”


The protagonist cringes. “Um…not applicable, I guess.”


“Oh dear. And your age again is-?”


“Er…fourteen?”


At this the elf sighs. “Oh no, not another one. Some days I’d like to shake some sense into that soothsayer, really, I would. I swear I am this close to setting myself up as the next evil wizard around here just so I can keep some of these would-be heroes out of trouble.”


He then flings his pencil, sharp as a knife, and down comes the net with Protagonist inside. The elf helps them to their feet and brushes the leaves off their shoulders.

“Alright then, you,” he grumbles, “Lets get you down to the Bureau with the other three prophecy-kids who turned up this week.”

He has so much paperwork to do now.

Promise

He finds Lance waiting on his bed for him when he returns to his room, and can tell from a single glance that Lance knows. That somehow— either because Matt or Coran told him, or because he just understands Keith that well, even after so many months apart— Lance knows exactly what happened while Voltron was fleeing Naxzela. What Keith had been prepared to sacrifice. What he’d nearly done.

Lance looks up at the hiss of the door sliding shut. He hasn’t even changed out of his paladin armor. Not fully. His arm guards and chest plate have been removed and discarded on the floor, but otherwise he looks just as he did when Voltron finally reached the Castle again— singed, disheveled, and staring at Keith with large, mournful eyes.

Keith can’t bring himself to meet those eyes. They’re even more blue than Keith remembers, and so full of hurt it makes Keith’s chest ache. Lance should never have to look that way about anything. Particularly not because of him.

Keith turns away and takes his time removing his black, Marmora armor. He can’t bear to see Lance so upset. Can’t stand the heavy silence between them. The thick tension just waiting to snap. Can’t stand it at all, but also can’t think of anything to say to dispel it. Words were never his forte, after all. He was much better with actions. Except, this time, his actions are what’s causing this situation, and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it.

He hangs his armor in his closet— the one spot of black among all the red and white he’s so used to wearing. A visual reminder of all he’s left behind. All he’s given up so his team can keep moving forward. Across the room, Lance shifts. He shifts, and he clears his throat, and Keith closes his eyes, waiting, as always, for Lance to cut through the tension. For the berate that’s surely on his tongue. For the angry words and endless rants he’s come to expect from Lance.

It doesn’t come, though. When Lance finally speaks, it isn’t loud, or enraged, or anything Keith’s used to. It’s soft, instead. So soft he barely hears it. And so rough and broken it nearly breaks his heart.

“Keith,” Lance murmurs, voice shaking even over that single word. “Why?” Why did you leave? Why did you abandon us? Why did you give up? “You glorious, reckless idiot. Why did you do it?”

Why did you almost let yourself die?

Keith swallows thickly. “Something had to be done,” he answers. “It was the only choice.” He glances over his shoulder at Lance and gives him a sad smile. “After all, the universe needs Voltron. It doesn’t need me.”

“We need you,” Lance protests, standing. He crosses the room in three quick strides and turns Keith to face him, hands gripping Keith’s shoulders like iron vices, and the most serious expression Keith’s ever seen across his face. “I need you.”

And if that isn’t the most ridiculous thing Keith’s ever heard. Because if either of them needs the other, it’s not Lance. It’s not this boy who shines so brilliantly, who is everything Keith has ever wanted to be and more, who could probably charm the whole universe into peace if he really put his mind to it.

Keith’s smile turns wry and he shakes his head. “No you don’t, Lance,” he says, emphatically because he needs Lance to understand. “You don’t need me. Just look at everything you’ve done.” Look at all the people you’ve saved and inspired and encouraged in a way that I never could.

It’s not enough to convey everything Keith thinks about Lance, of course, but he honestly doesn’t think any words in the English language (or any language, even) will ever be enough. There’s no way to describe the way Lance shines in his element. The obvious joy he brings to his flying, and the fierce passion that flares through his fighting. The excitement he exhibits whenever they find a new ally. The way he draws people to him without any actual effort. The way he cares and protects and gives hope wherever he goes.

He’s a much better paladin than he gives himself credit for, and much more valuable to the team than Keith ever could be. Keith’s absence over the past few months has proven that. Has shown Voltron can continue, and even thrive, without him. That they would continue to do so even if Keith had died. They’d still have their heart, after all— it’s right there inside Lance. He’s the drive that pushes them all forward, and the glue that holds them all together, and if Keith can keep that alive by sacrificing himself, he doesn’t consider death too great a loss.

Clearly, however, Lance doesn’t agree. “That’s not what I meant,” he chokes out, voice watery and blue eyes shining with unshed tears. “That’s not what I meant at all, you idiot. This isn’t about the team, or Voltron, or even the whole goddamn universe.” His hands shift, sliding across Keith’s shoulders and up his neck to cup his face. Keith fights not to lean into the warmth of Lance’s hands, but when Lance gently tilts his head back he knows it’s a lost cause. He’s so weak to the man standing in front of him. Weaker still to the way his bright blue eyes bore into Keith, more intense than they’ve ever been before. More urgent. More desperate. More filled with longing.

“I’m your right-hand man, aren’t I?” Lance asks softly, so close now that Keith can feel his warm breath against this skin. “We’re in this together, you and me. I’d follow you to ends of the universe. So just please,” he pleads. “Please. Promise me you won’t go where I can’t follow.”

And how can Keith say no to that?

The tears are falling down Lance’s cheeks now, wet streaks against his dark skin. And, this time, seeing Lance so upset over him, over the near loss of him, Keith’s heart does break. It cracks and shatters under the weight of Lance’s grief, and Keith already knows it will never fully recover. Even if he tries to tape it back together and pretend it’s all alright, there will still be fragments missing— little shards that will belong to Lance, and Lance alone, whether Lance realizes that or not.

Keith closes his eyes and lets out a long breath. He turns his head into Lance’s hand, pressing his lips lightly against Lance’s skin, and if Lance is surprised by the gesture, he doesn’t show it. Doesn’t try to pull away or even protest.

“Ok,” he murmurs against Lance’s hand. “Ok, Lance. I promise.”

He’d do much more for Lance if Lance ever asked it of him, but supposes this promise is a good place to start. And when Lance smiles for the first time all day, and then pulls Keith into a tight embrace, he wonders why he ever thought leaving was a good idea. Lance’s arms are warm around him, more comforting than anything Keith’s ever known, and beneath the palm Keith’s spread flat against Lance’s back, he feels the faint, steady thump of Lance’s heart. Takes comfort in the fact that Lance is alive and well and right there with him. Takes comfort in the fact that Keith himself is still alive to feel it.

And, for now, that is enough.

Harry laughed happily as he landed on the grass. Draco was only seconds behind him clutching the snitch with a massive grin on his face.
“Good one, Draco.”
“Oh, it wasn’t really a good one. Pretty easy actually.” Draco drawled with a smirk.
Harry laughed again as he shoved Draco’s shoulder. “Whatever, that dive was pretty amazing.” Draco’s smirk became a proud smile. “Come on, let’s go eat something. I’m starving!” Harry said.
The smile morphed into a frown. “No. We each won one, it’s a draw. We have to play another.”
Harry grinned at him. “Let’s leave it a draw.”
Draco arched a brow. “Scared Potter?”
Laughing, Harry slung an arm around his friends shoulders. “Yes, scared you’ll pout and ignore me all day when I beat you.”
Draco sniffed. “First of all, I am not so petty. And who says you’d win anyway? So arrogant, Harry.”
Harry laughed and squeezed his friend in a hug. “Yeah. I’m the arrogant here, Draco.”
Draco gently bumped the side of his head against Harry’s as they walked to the castle. “So long as you know.”

On the following Sunday they found themselves trudging through a mountain of homework, much to Harry’s displeasure. Ron and Hermione had gone for a picnic on the grounds, since Hermione always made sure they were up to date on their work. Sighing Harry dropped his head heavily against the couch. Draco, who was curled up in the corner of the couch next to him, looked up with an arched brow. “Giving up already?”
Harry groaned and closed his eyes. “Yes.” He jerked up when he felt Draco flick him between the eyes. “Hey!” He protested, rubbing the sore spot with his fingers.
“You’d better keep going. Don’t think that you can leave it and get me to help you just because Granger won’t let you fly until it’s done.” He went back to looking at his book.
Harry turned to him with wide eyes. “That is a fantastic idea.” When Draco just let out a soft laugh but otherwise ignored him, Harry moved so he could lie leaning comfortably against Draco’s side. He closed his eyes and let out a relieved sigh.
“Potter!” Draco groaned. “I am absolutely not doing your work for you.” But he didn’t move or shove Harry off, which Harry knew he wouldn’t. After several blissful minutes, right when Harry was sure he was on the cusp of a wonderful dream, he fell to the floor as Draco stood up. He pointed a finger accusingly at Harry, “Do some work, Harry. Or we will go to the library.”
Sighing in defeat, Harry sat up and faced his books once more.

Hours later they were sitting in front of the crackling fire eating Bertie Botts beans. Draco was sprawled across a single seat with his legs hanging across the side while Harry sat on the floor with his legs crossed and back against Draco’s seat. Draco had the box of beans and alternated between taking one and lowering the box for Harry.
Ron and Hermione entered the common room with cheerful greetings. Harry appreciated everyone’s efforts to get along, since he knew it was only for his sake, but he did wish his three best friends were more than just polite to one another.
“Did you have a good picnic?” Draco asked them.
“Oh, yes it was lovely thanks.” Hermione smiled at him. Ron nodded a bit awkwardly at him.
“Oh, Harry. You’ll never guess what.” Ron started, and Hermione shot him a suspicious look. “We saw Terry there, he was in the middle of a big fight, seems like him and his boyfriend broke up.” Hermione’s look of suspicion became one of horror as she tugged on Ron’s hand. Harry’s stomach dropped as he willed Ron not to continue. But he did. “So he’s single now, and you can finally ask him out. I know you used to have a massive crush on him.”
Harry closed his eyes, but the thick silence wouldn’t be ignored. He was so glad he couldn’t see Draco’s expression at that moment. There had been a hundred moments when he meant to come out to Draco. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed or anything. It was just that he really enjoyed their friendship. He didn’t know how they’d become so
comfortable touching each other all the time, but he was scared that it would change if Draco knew. He opened his eyes to find Ron looking from him to Hermione with confusion brewing in his eyes. Hermione was watching Draco carefully, which could only mean that he most definitely wasn’t looking at them.
Harry sighed internally. He cleared his throat. “Uh, thanks.”
Hermione looked at him pitifully and quickly started talking about their day, filling the silence as best she could. She asked about how their studies went, Harry responded and Draco said a word or two.
After suffering through it as long as he could, Harry wished everyone good night. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Draco as he left, but let his hand trail along his shoulder as he walked passed.

The next morning, Harry lingered in bed. If he could, he’d avoid seeing Draco all day. Unfortunately, his last class was potions where they were partners. At breakfast he managed to get away with only a smile and a wave since Draco sat at the Slytherin table still. Harry tried hard to focus on his lessons all day, but he couldn’t deny he was nervous to see him.
When he arrived in potions at the end of the day, Draco was already there with all the ingredients for the days potion. He was chopping furiously when Harry reached him. “Hi, Draco.” He said nervously, fidgeting with the strap on his bag.
“Hi, Potter.” Draco glanced up with a small smile. After a few seconds he rolled his eyes. “Are you going to help or do you expect me to do all the work?”
Harry could have laughed with relief, but he didn’t. He gave Draco a grateful smile which was returned with a small quirk of the lips and they got to work.
The rest of the lesson passed in the same manner as the ones before. After, they walked together to dinner and Harry felt relieved. Until he couldn’t find Draco anywhere after dinner. He went to bed with a sinking feeling.

The week passed in the same pattern. The only time that Harry really saw Draco was during potions, his behavior seemingly unchanged. But Harry missed him. After potions on Friday Harry had had enough. As they walked together to dinner he blurted out. “Where have you been all week?” Grey eyes glanced up from the floor to meet his before flickering away. “I can never find you after dinner.” He said accusingly.
Draco answered softly. “I’ve had detention every day.”
“What?” Harry asked, reaching out to grab Draco’s arm. “For what?”
Turning to face Harry, Draco sighed. “You know how it is, some teachers will make up reasons to punish me.”
Harry frowned and opened his mouth to express his outrage when Draco gave him a defeated smile. “It doesn’t matter. Okay?”
Harry deflated. Draco twitched his arm awkwardly and Harry realized he was still holding him. He let go quickly but noticed the blush on Draco’s cheeks.
He deflated a little more.

On Saturday morning when Harry returned from breakfast he found Draco in the common room with his homework. After fetching his own, he sank down on the couch next to him.
Draco shifted to make more room for him.
After working for a little while Draco got up to get a different textbook and settled down again on the single couch. Harry frowned. He wouldn’t have thought anything about it before, but..
He sighed heavily and tried to focus on his work.

The next day he found himself working alone in the library. When he returned to the common room he found Draco curled up on the single couch with a book. He looked up when Harry entered and frowned slightly. “Where were you today?” He asked.
Harry shrugged, struggling to meet his eyes. “Thought I’d concentrate better in the library.” He moved to walk past where Draco was sitting, when Draco’s hand shot out as if to grab his hand but stopped suddenly, quivered in the air for a moment before disappearing just as fast.
Harry hesitated briefly. With a disappointed sigh he carried on walking.
“Harry.” Draco said.
Harry half turned to face him, an eyebrow raised. Draco cleared his throat. “Would you like to go fly for a bit?” Harry frowned skeptically, unsure of what how he wanted to respond. “There’s enough time for at least one game to end our draw before the light goes.” Draco said, smiling uncertainly. And that’s what got to Harry.
“Yeah, alright.” He answered finally.

The walk to the quidditch pitch was filled with awkward silence. At least it was for Harry. Once they were flying though, Harry felt better.
The light started to go quickly and Harry was scanning rather desperately for the snitch, it was the one he had caught in first year and he was rather sentimental about it. A glint of gold caught his eye and he dove toward it. As he neared it he saw Draco coming in from a different angle, slightly ahead of him. He pushed forward, urging his broom to go faster. At the last moment, he realized Draco would get there first and Harry would barrel into him soon after. Unfortunately, the last moment didn’t give him enough time to stop or change direction. All he could do was slow down to soften the impact.
Thankfully they were low to the ground so when they tumbled over one another and onto the grass, it wasn’t too hard a fall. They rolled and Harry landed half on Draco’s chest with a massive groan. Draco was gasping heavily. Harry lifted himself to quickly pat Draco down for injuries and once he was satisfied that he was fine he fell half onto Draco’s chest again. They caught their breath in silence.
It was the happiest Harry had been all week. Until Draco said, “Two one, Potter.” Harry looked up to see Draco clutching the snitch with a triumphant grin. He laughed and pushed himself up onto an elbow.
“You can’t tell me this one was an easy win.” Harry teased.
“No, I can’t.” Draco chuckled and smiled at Harry. Harry smiled back, happy to have his friend back. He noticed the pink tinge on Draco’s cheeks as Draco’s eyes flickered away and he shifted awkwardly. Harry sat up quickly and Draco scooted away from Harry. His heart sank.
Draco cleared his throat, “Well, let’s go back.” He stood up and retrieved his broom. Harry sat there with his knees bent and his elbows resting on his knees, drowning in unhappiness. He wasn’t going to get his easy friendship back. Draco had walked a few paces back toward the castle when he turned around. “Harry?” He said tentatively.
Harry sighed. “I can’t do this, Draco.” He shoved his hands in his hair and looked away, frustrated.
Draco frowned and came back. “What do you mean?” He asked softly.
“I mean I want you to just freak out about the fact that I didn’t tell you and be honest if you have a problem with who I am. I can’t take this dancing around it. I miss you.” He bit his lip to stop himself. After a long pause he looked up to find Draco staring at him in shock.
“You think I have a problem with who you are?” He asked quietly, which set warning bells off in Harry’s head. “You think I’ve been acting strange because I don’t accept this part of you.” He added. Then he laughed, a self deprecating sound that Harry knew well. Draco lifted a hand to his forehead. “Why wouldn’t you? It’s the obvious conclusion.” He laughed again, a little hysterically this time, which broke Harry out of his daze. He stood up and slowly approached him.
“Well, if it’s not that then what is it?” He asked.
Draco closed his eyes briefly before meeting Harry’s eyes. Harry watched a flush creep up his neck as he seemed to search for words. “Well, I couldn’t exactly be mad at you for not telling me when I’ve been keeping the exact same secret.” His cheeks were a deep pink now. Harry’s ears were ringing.
“What?” He whispered, disbelieving.
Draco gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” Harry could only stare at him. Draco swallowed nervously. “Anyway, I was trying to find the right time to tell you about me. But, as you know, it’s not easy.” He laughed awkwardly again. “And somehow knowing about you made my little crush seem less impossible which is stupid, really I know, so I was just giving myself a bit of space to dispel that illusion. That’s why I got detention everyday. I couldn’t focus, I was useless in class.” His gaze was flickering from Harry’s shoulder, his collar to his throat. Anywhere but his eyes. After a fortifying breath Draco added. “Our friendship is important to me. I didn’t want to mess it up.”
Harry was confused. He was shocked. But he knew that that made him happy. He pulled Draco towards him and wrapped him in a tight hug. “I missed you, you idiot.”
Draco melted into the hug which made Harry’s heart soar. They stood like that for a long time. Eventually Draco pulled back, much to Harry’s regret. Harry searched his gaze. “It’s not impossible, you know. Or an illusion.” He whispered.
Draco’s breath caught. Harry smiled at him. “I don’t think.” Harry amended. But as he watched the moonlight play over Draco’s features he thought it was probably extremely possible. Probable in fact.
Draco watched Harry watch him for the longest time. His look of shock slowly abated until Harry was staring at Draco’s trademark smirk. “You’d better not think that counts as asking me out, because my standards are considerably higher than that.” Harry laughed and Draco smiled before adding, “I’m serious.” With that he turned and started toward the castle. Harry scrambled to catch up.
“I’ll write a poem.” He said.
Draco groaned. “Please don’t. I’m pretty set on saying yes. Don’t make that hard for me to do.”
Harry grinned. Feeling bold, he reached out to grab Draco’s hand as they walked forward. He let out a content sigh when Draco laced their fingers together.

~College!au Pen Pal Jungkook~ PART TWELVE

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 13] [part 14:END]

Originally posted by jkguks

“Oh, Jungkook! Hey!” You gave a weak smile and waved your hand. You then noticed Y/F/N standing behind him, an amused look on her face. Of course she was here.

Giving a confused wave back, he asked again, “Did you want to tell me something?”

Jimin nudged you with his elbow while Taehyung looked at you with side eyes, signaling you to speak. Shaking your head, you chuckled, “Nope.”

“You sure? I thought I heard you say–”

“Kookie, she said no. Can we go now, please?” Y/F/N whined, tugging at Jungkook’s long sleeved shirt. You remembered that shirt. That was the shirt he wore when you two got pizza one night on a quest to find his pen pal. You were both laughing at something silly and he ended up with lemonade all over it. You mentally shook your head at the wrong timing for remembering a nice memory.

“Y/F/N,” Jungkook sighed. Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, you were no longer frowning. He seemed annoyed. 

“Well? Tell him Y/N, you don’t have anything to say,” Y/F/N gestured you to continue. 

Just as you were about to speak, Jimin interjected. “And if I remember, it was Jungkook asking the question, not you, bitch.” 

You gaped at what Jimin said while Jungkook shouted, “Hyung!”

You looked at Y/F/N who was red in the face and staring straight at you. Don’t you dare, she spoke with her beady eyes.

“Go on, Y/N, tell him,” Taehyung urged, pushing you froward towards Jungkook. He adjusted the beanie on his head, looking between the three of you, confused as hell. 

“Tell me what?”

You looked down and Jimin sighed. If you weren’t going to tell him, he was. “That that girl over there? Yeah, she isn’t your pen pal!”

Jungkook flicked his eyes toward Y/F/N, who placed a hand on her heart as if accused of murder. 

“How can you say that? She is.”

“Really, and when was the last time you actually texted her through the pen pal email, hm?”

“Not since I got her number but–”

“Try it, then. Text her. See if Y/F/N’s phone dings,” Taehyung crossed his arms, staring at the phone in Jungkook’s hand. Boys, what are you doing, you thought.

“Why would I need to prove that? She knows me like my pen pal knows me.”

“But does she act the same way? Certain obvious compatible aspects of your pen pal, she might act like. But really, if you met her without knowing she was your pen pal, would you believe that? I don’t think so. And I don’t think you do either. There’s something off about her, right? She’s too…forced.” Jimin gazed over at you. You were fiddling with your fingers avoiding eye contact with Jungkook.

“What are you saying?”

“That she’s not your pen pal! She’s not the girl you’ve grown to like so much!” Taehyung sighed, exasperated. “Just text her.”

Jungkook began to unlock his phone, eyes flickering to you. What did you have to do with all of this? Was it because Y/F/N was your friend?

He typed a simple message and heard the send sound from his phone. Closing your eyes in anticipation, you waited.

Then, your phone dinged.

All eyes were on you and you slowly reached into your back pocket. Turning on the phone the name, ‘Jungkookieeeee’ was seen with his message underneath. It was a simple question mark. 

Looking back up at Jungkook, you could only say two words, “I’m sorry,” and rushed out like your life depended on it. Why were you so cowardly sometimes? Why did you always run away from your problems in hopes of them never following you?


Jungkook watched as you shoved past him, his hand nearly grabbing your wrist but you slipped away. His heart shattered.

“There. Now you know,” Jimin said. 

“I’m gonna go find Y/N,” Taehyung spoke, softly, and swiftly left the library.

“It was Y/N?” Was the first thing to exit Jungkook’s mouth. Then it struck him as if it were obvious. Both you and his pen pal understood him in ways nobody else has. When others would make fun, you’d comfort. Sure, Y/F/N had that sarcastic nature that his pen pal had, a quite forced one, but she was no you.

You did it without even trying. You were witty and never failed to make him laugh, even while he was in distress. Then he realized, once he let you go, he didn’t do much laughing anymore. Most of the laughs he shared with Y/F/N were fake and forced, almost like he wanted them to be true since she was his pen pal after all. 

“It was this whole time,” Jimin confirmed. Then Jungkook became angry. Turning to Y/F/N who looked terrified, he fumed “Why the hell would you do that?”

“Kookie,” She pleaded, reaching for his hand, which he yanked back. 

“No. How could you do that to not only me, but Y/N, your own friend?”

“How could you be defending her right now!? Either way she lied to you!”

“And you think if she told me the truth when she was ready that I wouldn’t accept it? That no matter what, I would hate her? I know Y/N. I’ve known Y/N for months. I know every habit, every small detail she probably doesn’t know about herself. And you think I’d let that–her–go because she failed to give me information? Sure, I wanted it bad as hell, but there’s two of us. She wasn’t ready and if I got mad, I would be being selfish. I have no right to be angry when she was uncomfortable with me knowing who she was. And here I am, in loss of one of my best friends. Hell, I was in love with her!”

It was then, Jungkook realized, just how much he cared for you. Not only in a way of a best friend. No, he cared about you a lot more than that. He used to want nothing more than for you to be in his arms. He wanted to be the reason you were smiling and laughing. 

And now he’s done the opposite. He pushed you away and caused you so much pain and loneliness. Oh, how much he wanted to go back to that first night when you were cuddled on your bed in your dorm room, unaffected to what was going on this moment. He wanted to hold you tighter than he ever did, bury his head in your neck, and never let go.

“You–you were?”

Nodding his head, Jungkook continued, “I was starting to even forget about my pen pal. I just used her as an excuse to hang out with Y/N. I don’t think you understand what you ripped from me. I betrayed her. She wanted to explain but it was because of you she couldn’t. She was so terrified of what you could do, what lies you would tell me, that she stayed quiet and allowed her to be used. She was suffering and it was all because of me,” Jungkook let out a breath of air.

“Even after lying to you, you’d still run back to her?” Y/F/N muttered.

“In a heartbeat.”

“I–I’m sorry. For everything.” 

“A simple sorry isn’t going to cut it for you. I don’t even know who you are. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find my girl.”


WOWOWO THREE UPDATES?! LOOK AT ME GO! HEY HEYYYY

Part 13???👀(now that you’ll have to wait until possibly tmm forrrr)

Five Seconds (Richie Tozier x Reader)

Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: When you confessed to Richie, you got the expected response, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. Not even a week later he decides to talk to you, not so subtly jealous about you spending time with Ben. Things sort of…escalate from there.

Warnings: Cussing and Kissing. (oh no, not kissing! *parents screaming, children crying, Ohio catches on fire*) This is a request. DON’T HESITATE TO SEND IN REQUESTS. (Don’t send in like 50 tho. I still need sleep.)

Word Count: 1,697


“Can I t-talk to you.”

Richie stops laughing at Stan and, still giggling, turns to you. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You glance over Richie’s shoulder to see Beverly shoot you a thumbs up. “I’ve been, well- It was Beverly’s idea! But for a while now…” You stumbled over words, trying to soften the embarrassing blow of ‘I have a crush on you’.

“I like you!” You blurt, deciding to get it over with. “I l-like you as more than a friend.”

There’s a moment of silence in which you count the seconds that painfully tick by.

One. Richie’s mouth opens and closes, you can see his eyes dart to the other boys. They’re whooping and hollering, pushing him and giggling like idiots.

Two. You can feel the headrush hit you hard, along with waves of nausea.

Three. Teasing smiles stay on the boys’ faces, but Beverly’s melts off. She knows. She knows what’s going to happen.

Four. Richie’s ears turn fire hydrant red as you grow pale and faint. His eyes once again scan the boys, who continue to tease without mercy. You close your eyes, wishing they’d stop. There would be nothing to celebrate.

Five. “I’m s-sorry…”

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Intertwined Destinies I: A Great and Terrible Power

In the ‘Intertwined Destinies’ meta series, I intend on taking a deep dive into the mysterious connection between Rey and Kylo Ren in The Last Jedi. In this first instalment, I cover their pasts - exploring what might have brought Rey and Kylo to where we find them in The Force Awakens, and how their histories may be paralleled and, potentially, overlap.

The Story of Ben

“I’ve seen this raw strength only once before. It didn’t scare me enough then. It does now.”

In The Force Awakens, we get only the vaguest allusion to the tragedy that sent Luke Skywalker into hiding and marked the start of Ben Solo’s descent to the dark side. The explanation comes from Han Solo:

“One boy, an apprentice, turned against him and destroyed it all. Luke felt responsible. He just…walked away from everything.”

That boy, of course, was Ben - Han’s own son and Luke’s star pupil, who Mark Hamill has spoken of in the following terms:

“[Luke] made a huge mistake in thinking that his nephew was the chosen one, so he invested everything he had in Kylo, much like Obi-Wan did with my character. And he is betrayed, with tragic consequences. Luke feels responsible for that.”

This builds up an evocative picture of Ben Solo’s fall that is returned to in the trailer for The Last Jedi, which actually gives the event a different slant. With trailer-appropriate portentousness, we hear Luke speak fearfully of a terrible power that he failed to take seriously enough before. This dialogue is laid over shots of what we must assume is the destruction of Luke’s temple, including this one:

Here, we see Luke clawing his way free from beneath a pile of flaming timbre. This image alone is extremely striking, and raises an interesting possibility for what might have happened at the temple. It has previously been assumed (at least by me) that Luke was absent when Ben enacted his betrayal and killed his fellow Jedi in training, but this shot represents a strike against that interpretation - instead, it suggests something sudden and explosive that took Luke by surprise and unfolded before he could prevent it. 

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signs as dumb YA novel clichés

Aries: The Chosen One~ “This wasn’t how my life was supposed to go. When I turned 18, I wasn’t expecting to be thrust into the Underworld. I was gonna go to college, be a normal student and rush Sigma Phi Chiapet my sophomore year. But everything is different now. The prophecy has spoken and I’m going to go through a training montage and become really badass really quickly even though I was against being the chosen one in the first place but now I have a black belt after a month of punching bags of sand and now I’m ready to save the world. And guess what. At the end of the book…………. I save the world.”

Taurus: The “you don’t know think you’re beautiful until a boy tells you so / not like the other girls” average looking protagonist~ “Hi. My name is Tookiewisp Flowerspark. I’ve got mousy brown hair and bright brown eyes. I’m tall and thin and I don’t have boobs yet. I love to wear my worn out high top converse and skinny jeans. Maybe if I wore a dress, boys my age would notice me. But to be honest, I’m just not into girly stuff like most other girls are. You could say I’m different.”

Gemini: Crush throughout the entire novel turns out to be an asshole~ “He’d never notice a girl like me. He doesn’t even know my name!’ *sudden makeover transformation where she takes her hair out of a ponytail and takes off her glasses* Boy: ‘Wow, Winteria Snow. I never realized how pretty you were until you put on makeup and put in some contacts. Will you be my girlfriend?’”

Cancer: Instant love~ “That’s when a saw her, walking down the street. She was coming my way. Her hair blew in the wind like a majestic mane of gold. The way she walked made my heart skip a beat. I started sweating and I couldn’t stop my heart from racing. I stared at her as she walked past and I tried to say hello, but my words came out in a jumble. She gave me a weird look and walked away. It was at that moment that I knew I had fallen in love and found my soulmate. Also, by the end of this book she falls in love with me even though I basically obsessively stalk her throughout the entire novel and have no redeeming qualities.”

Leo: The Queen Bee~ “That’s Brooke Richardsworth. She’s the coolest, most popular girl in school. She’s got long, straight blonde hair and wears pink skirts, pink cardigans and pink headbands. Those are her two slightly less attractive friends, Chelsea and Paige. Brooke is also dating my crush. We used to be friends, but ever since I accidentally spilled my chocolate milk on her back in the third grade, she’s done everything she can to make my life miserable.”

Virgo: Problematic parents~ “My parents recently got divorced, so now on the weekends I hang out with my dad, and during the week I hang out with my mom. It gets pretty tiring going back and forth after a while, but every other Saturday my dad (who is also a professor at a university) takes me camping and we roast hotdogs over a campfire which really makes up for it. Recently though, he’s been hanging around a new young blonde woman named Tamara Blake. He’s been spending all of his time with her. We haven’t even gone camping since they met!”

Libra: The improbable love triangle~ “What am I going to do? I have two boys who just got into a fight at school because they both are in love with me, average annoying weird superiority complex girl. On one hand, there’s Jackson- the brooding bad boy who wears leather jackets and rides motorcycles and treats me like garbage when he’s in a grumpy mood. Then on the other hand, there’s Theodore- the quiet sensitive one who reads books and drinks tea and I always catch him watching me from behind a bookshelf in the library! This is the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make in my life. I HAVE to choose one of them. But… who?”

Scorpio: The dystopian society~ “Hi, I’m Bland McBore. In our society, the rich and the poor are divided into two groups and all the rich people are evil and live in a city where there are floating vehicles and all the buildings are white marble and/or chrome, and all the poor people live in mud huts and have to eat bugs and also everything is a weird shade of gray to represent sadness or something. I am going to start a revolution and overthrow the government with the help of my two best friends and once we start to cause trouble with our rebellion, the leader who is probably an old white guy with a pointed beard will offer us riches that we originally fought against in the beginning but don’t worry we will heroically reject them and fight for equality and won’t stop until society is no longer divided. Also people will definitely die but it will all only be people we are conveniently close to. Me and my two best friends get to live until the very end because we move the plot forward.”

Sagittarius: Protagonist just moved to a new school~ “My dad got a new job so we had to move across the country. I’m really shy and quiet and dorky so I know that my first day is going to be horrible. The teacher will make me stand up at the front of the class and then I’ll cry because I’ll be thinking about my life in my old town. Then as I sit back down at my desk, the teacher will keep on teaching instead of addressing that one of her students is visibly upset and crying. Then, the boy behind me will tap on my shoulder and introduce himself- this boy will be the guy I keep as my friend until the end of the novel where, plot twist, he ends up being my perfect match all along.”

Capricorn: The Intellectual~ “My favorite past time is to go to this tree up on a hill where my mom is buried that is also conveniently in the middle of the woods but also within a short walking distance from my house. I go there and I just think. Not of a lot of kids from school do that these days. Everyone is so obsessed with the latest gossip or the latest trend that it seems like everyone forgot how to, well, think. Sometimes I wish I was like them. I wish I could turn off my brain and mindlessly walk around without a care in the world. But I can’t because I’m different and smarter than everyone else and I also like to read and I love the smell of old books and reading and did I mention that I also love to read.”

Aquarius: Really weird “quirky” names~ “Hi, I’m Ingridagelica Applewindbalmkettlefish and this is my story. I know, I know, my name is pretty strange. My parents picked it because they said that when I was born they knew I was going to grow up and do something really great and unique and they also said that it means “not like the other girls” when spoken in Latin.” 

Pisces: The “nice guy” guy friend who turns out to be The One all along~ “I just can’t believe my crush won’t notice me! Tell me Carter, what am I doing wrong?” “Nothing, Skylightquia. If it’s worth anything, I think you’re pretty…. uh, pretty awesome, I mean.” *Skylightquia sighs and looks up at the stars from the rooftop they got onto somefuckinghow* “The stars are really beautiful, aren’t they?” *Carter looks at her meaningfully* “Yeah they are”

I’m only 18

Originally posted by hopeinloveinfinity

GIF NOT MINE

Request: Can you do a oneshot where the reader is an avenger and 18, she meets the team and the guys are being super flirty with her but have no idea that’s she is 18 and when they find out, they’re embarrassed about flirting with her :). Sorry if this super specific and long

Warning: No?


Being the new avenger was exciting. I had been able to shape shift into any person or animal that I wanted to since I was 5 years old. I scared my mother the day I turned into a dog. She could move things with her mind and she wasn’t sure of what I could do until the day we were eating dinner and I decided to act like a dog and turned into one. 

Since then, I would do small things like tricking my friends or I would turn into a bird and fly away. Like Spider-Man, I decided to use it for good. What really caught the public’s eye, was the day a grizzly bear stopped a gas station robbery. That same day Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff showed up at my house. They explained to me and my mother that they wanted me to join the avengers. Naturally, my mother put up a fight and said I was too young, but I am 18 so legally I can go. Waving goodbye to my mother 6 months later and I was officially part of the team. 

“You should turn into a cat, then when the team crowds around, turn into yourself.” Tony suggested. 

“I can’t” I laughed at him, “When I shape shift, My clothes don’t change with me so I can’t turn back until I’m in my room, usually.” 

“We’ll see about that.” He started thinking to himself. 

“Guys this is y/n” Nat called out t the team.

“Hello” I waved to everyone “I know who you all are already, I read the file.” 

“Nice to meet you” Steve shook my hand. “We didn’t hear much about you, it was suppose to be a surprise.” 

I smiled, looking around the room at the team. I noticed Sam, Bucky, Thor, Peter, and Steve were looking me up and down. I met Sam’s eyes and he winked at me and gave a slow nod of admiration. Bucky looked away quickly, Steve also winked, Thor smirked at me and then walked away, and Peter quickly turned around and started a conversation with Wanda. I noticed Clint and Bruce were watching the same thing I was and looked at me and then the guys and shook their heads. 

Originally posted by chrisandchips

Once everything was finally settled, I made my way to the kitchen to get a small snack, I had finally finished unpacking. I was searching for a snack when I hear someone speak up behind me.

“Nickle for your thoughts?” Steve spoke calmly

“I’m pretty sure it’s penny.” I laughed at him

“I just think your thoughts are worth more” he smiled, raising an eyebrow.

“Really?” I rolled my eyes “That’s so lame” 

“What?” He moved a tad bit closer leaning on the counter. “I just wanted to start a conversation.” He chuckled. 

“So start” I reached for the box of cheez-its, but it was too far up. Steeve reached up above my head and grabbed it. I couldn’t help but look at his bicep. Quickly looking down when our eyes met.

“Like what you see?” Steve smirked “There’s more underneath.” 

I blushed at first and then realized, he is old, I’m still 18 and I don’t think he knows that. Instead of telling him, I laughed at him and walked away. 

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

The next person to talk to me was Sam Wilson. I had wandered into the theater room and put a movie in. Sam saw this and wanted to join.

“Can I join you?” He asked as I made my self comfortable on the love-seat, taking up most to the small couch. 

“Sure if you can fit” I joked, moving my legs slightly.

“I played tetris as a kid.” He smirked at me coming closer to the couch.

“Your point?” I asked slightly confused.

“I can make it fit.” He winked at me. I didn’t even react, I just had a straight face and I realized that he didn’t know my age as well, and just like Steve I didn’t tell him. 

Originally posted by tbholland

Peter Parker approached me the next day, as I made my way to the kitchen, he tapped my arm.

“Morning y/n” He greeted me with a warm smile.

“Mornin’ Pete” I smiled back. He followed me into the kitchen. 

“Hey y/n,” He got my attention back to him “Can you feel my shirt?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, confused. 

“I’m serious” He held out the bottom of his shirt and I touched the soft fabric.

“What about it?” I was still confused.

“Does it feel like boyfriend material?” I asked seriously. I laughed at him as my cheeks slightly turned red.

“Absolutely not” Tony cut in “Not allowed.” 

Originally posted by little--batman

“Why do guys have to be such jerks?” My friend Andrea spoke to me on the phone. I had her on speaker while me, Wanda and Nat sat in the living room.

“I know how you feel Ann. What we need is a genie” I joked. “Three wishes would be nice.” 

“That would help a lot actually” Nat joined

“What’s one thing you would wish for?” Wanda asked “ I would wish for world peace. Typical I know.”

“I’ll have to think about that.” Andrea said on the phone. 

“Ditto” Nat spoke up, thinking quietly.

“I would wish for the perfect guy” I joked, earning a small chuckle from Nat.

“Here I am.” Bucky stood in front of us “What are your other two wishes?”

I couldn’t handle this anymore. I had to tell them how old I was before this got worse. I found it funny but I can’t be this cruel.

“Hey guys” I spoke up walking into the kitchen causing everyone to look at me “I have done some thinking.. Some of you, not naming who, have tried to flirt with me.” all the guys looked at each other. “As flattering as that is, I think you should know something about me, and maybe this will make you rethink some things.” I tried to fight the smile forming on my face. “I’m only 18.” 

Originally posted by you-didnt-see-that-cuming

Every single guy, except for Peter, Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Vision, went pale. They froze and looked at each other.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US BEFORE” Sam yelled, obviously embarrassed.

“I thought it was funny” I laughed at them

“I already knew that” Peter winked at me

“Lady y/n” Thor looked up from the ground “ I wasn’t sure of your age so I didn’t say anything, but I did not expect that” 

“I feel horrible” Steve apologized. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to say anything as he continued to stare at the ground.

There was a long awkward silence as we slowly continued our business. 

“Wait, You guys hit on her?” Tony raised his voice.

Strain

He stared hard at the table, chewing his bottom lip as the team surrounded him at all sides. “What were you thinking!?” Shiro yelled, “this is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done!”
Lance curled into himself even more as the tension in the room increased.
“It turned out fine.” Lance muttered quietly.
“Are you being serious right now Lance?” Allura sighed shaking her head.
They were in the heat of battle. Defending another planet from Galra rule. “Lance, keep a distance. Provide cover for us.” Shiro ordered over the comms.
“Roger that!” Lance yelled back, settling into his snipers nest.
A loud explosion echoed across the city. “Buildings going down Shiro.” Hunk relayed.
“Good, that’ll flush out the rest of the Galra to the surface.” Keith added.
“Wait.” Lance said, noticing a large group of aliens rushing out of the way of the toppling building. “There’s people down there!”
He quickly got to his knees and stared down at the street. “We have to get them out of there.” He said frantically getting to his feet.
“Lance, stay in position.” Shiro order, “we’ll handle it.”
“You’re too far away!” Lance yelled back already on the move, alerting blue.
Blue quickly responded covering the citizens from the crumbling building. He breathed out a heavy sigh of relief before he was interrupted by Shiro’s yelling. “Now the Galra know that we have more than Black and Yellow down here!” He yelled.
“but-.”
“Get back in position. Now.” Shiro seethed.
“Yes sir.” Lance sighed, making sure everyone was safe before moving back to position.

“You completely jeopardized the mission.” Keith said with a glare.
“But we couldn’t just let those people die.” Lance replied meekly.
“You always do this Lance!” Pidge hissed, “It’s. Always. You.”
“You’re becoming a liability Lance,” Shiro said crossing his arms, “you really need to think about what you’re doing; and how it’s affecting everyone else.”
His tone turned cold making Lance go rigid. “The more stupid stunts you pull, the more likely you are to get someone killed.”
He bit the inside of his lip even harder, tasting blood.
“I hate to admit it buddy, but they’re right.” Hunk said with a sigh, “you’re getting selfish.”
A tiny gasp left him, his attention snapping up to Hunk. “S-Selfish?” He asked, his voice quivering.
“Voltron was created in order to save the universe, and stand as an icon of freedom.” Allura cut in, her voice harsh, “we can’t have someone who only thinks of themselves piloting one of the lions.”
He looked up at all the faces of his teammates. They all wore the same scowl, or disappointed look. He let out a shaky breath putting his head in his hands, and rested his elbows on the table. “I don’t understand.” He stated, his voice coming out hoarse.
Keith scoffed, leaning over the table. “Why am I not surprised.”
“Keith.” Shiro warned.
“Well, we’re telling him how it is aren’t we?” He snapped back.
Keith leaned towards him more. “You don’t understand because you’re arrogant, and stupid.” He said, “You’re selfish, and don’t understand why you’re finally getting called out for it.”
Suddenly Lance’s fists connected with the table, echoing throughout the room. Keith took a surprised step back. “Don’t call me stupid.” He said lowly.
“Oh, shut-.”
Lance raised his head cutting him off with a sharp glare.
His demeanour had gone cold, making the team uneasy. His posture quickly corrected as he crossed his legs and sat up straight in his chair. He glared sharply at the faces around him. “Okay, let’s pretend I actually care about what you’re going to say.” He said, his carefree tone catching them off guard, “what did I do wrong today?”
Everyone stayed silent. “Go on.”
Shiro swallowed thickly, opening his mouth. “You left your position after I ordered you to stay at a distance.”
“There were citizens in danger of perishing.” He replied cooly.
“Yes. But-.”
“Service before self.” Lance replied simply.
“What?”
“The military code. Service before self. In this case, cause before self.” Lance stated, “as the Princess stated earlier, ‘Voltron was created to save the Universe.’ The Universe includes all innocent living being within it.”
Shiro fell silent.
“That means, the need to do everything I can to save everyone I can negates your orders.”
“You revealed that the Blue lion was on the surface.” Pidge interjected.
“Oh, please. If you didn’t think we needed the Blue lion she would have been left on the ship.”
The team looked between themselves, making Lance smirk. “Will you just admit it?” He asked raising out of his chair.
“Admit what?” Hunk asked.
“You’re trying to use me as a scapegoat yet again.” He replied, “You’re putting all your frustrations on me again.”
He started laughing. “You call me selfish even though I put my life on the line today. You can me arrogant when I haven’t made any off handed comments in weeks.” His eyes moved to Keith, “and you call me stupid even though I contribute just as much to planning as everyone else.”
He took another step towards the doorway. “I am the farthest from those things as anyone on this ship.”
He turned his back to them. “You’re putting a strain on our team bond Lance.” Shiro said finally.
He paused a step before he was out the door. He half turned towards them with a small frown. “I’m not going to apologize for this. Not anymore.” He said simply before turning again, “As for the team bond. It’s been strained for a while; and I think you oughta start looking for different causes.”

Imagine being Dean’s daughter and announcing to him that you are dating Jack.

“Him?” Dean’s rough voice broke the heavy silence that had set between the two of you “You are dating him?” he all-but-growled as he stared deeply in your eyes.

“Well, I- I wouldn’t say exactly dating yet, he’s not that familiar with the term and I’m-”

“Yet?!” Dean exclaimed, his voice coming slightly high-pitched “Yet? You mean this will keep going on?!”

“Well, yes dad of course it is!” you huffed, rolling your eyes “That’s why I am telling you, because this is actually important to me. And maybe Jack doesn’t quite understand the terms yet but I know that his feelings are real, that all of this between him and I is real as well.”

“Which again brings me back to my original question: Him?!” he looked at you with so much shock it made you groan and cross your arms over your chest.

“Will you try to be a little less surprised, please? I thought you’d be a little less shocked at your daughter-”

“Dating the son of Lucifer? Oh yeah!” he cut you off full of sarcasm and a hint of angst “Why the hell would I ever mind that (Y/n)?!”

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Pity (M)

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jimin x Female!reader

Word Count: 8,337

Summary: After breaking up with your cheating ex, Jimin had been there for you. You had figured that he was just feeling sorry for you, but tonight he wants to show you that that’s not the case

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Double Duty | M

Yoongi & Jungkook | BTS | 10.2k Words

w: for @tendershepherd and plotted with her (and she came up with the title. bless lmao) to create this mess of sub!jk & sub!yoongi, dom!reader, ass play, pussy worship, slight mxm, humiliation… and a lot more. this is so filthy. i’m sorry. lmfao

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Damn you’ve got it bad

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: What would have happened if Peter had gone to the pool in D.C.?

Warnings: peter being ripped, a few mentions of this because why not

A/N: I know I haven’t been very active lately, so I hope this makes up for it. I am currently working on something though :)

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The Five Times You Lay Your Eyes on Bucky || Bucky Barnes

Relationship: Biker!Bucky x reader

Summary: The five times you lay your eyes on Bucky. 

Warnings: none!!

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: honestly I wrote this on a whim and I kinda love it ???


The first time you lay your eyes on Bucky you’re just starting your late night shift at the diner. Your eyes lock with his as you tie your apron around your waist, blushing as he sends a wink in your direction. 

It was Friday night, which meant it was busy with intoxicated people flowing in from the pub across the street to the diner in search of some greasy food to satisfy their cravings. 

You were overwhelmed, serving five tables all at once, trying to get their orders out in a timely fashion while refilling their drinks. It’s not like you meant to do it on purpose, you were just rushing through the orders that your hand knocked over a man’s drink as you took their menu. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” you stumbled out as you grabbed a towel, patting down the table before grabbing the now empty cup from it’s position on it’s side, a rough hand catching your wrist, “you better be gettin’ me a new one for free,” the man spat in your face aggressively before pushing you harshly away from the table making you stumble. 

Tears formed in your eyes as you mumbled out an another apology, being cut off by an unfamiliar voice halfway through, “that’s no way to treat a lady,” the voice barked behind you, but it didn’t make you cower, it comforted you. 

“And if you’ve got a problem with her you best be comin’ to me first,” whoever was behind you spoke again making the man nod his head before apologizing to you repeatedly.

You quickly walked away behind the counter, footsteps following you as you finally looked up to see Bucky’s concerned eyes ghost over your face, “he didn’t hurt ya, did he doll?” He asked in a gentle voice, nothing like he sounded just seconds ago.

Tears had spilled past your eyes and onto your cheek as you nodded, unable to form a sentence, still in shock and completely overwhelmed, “I promise he won’t be botherin’ you no more,” Bucky said again, a smile appearing on your face as he wiped away a stray tear. 

“Thanks, Bucky,” you croaked as he let out a small chuckle, “anytime, doll,” he winked before he made his way out of the diner, a small group of men following him as they got onto their bikes, engines roaring to life. 

Your eyes met Bucky’s one more time through the glass as he did a small salute with his fingers before riding away into the night leaving you with butterflies in your stomach and a hurricane of thoughts in your mind. 


The second time you’d seen Bucky was walking home after a horrible date, your arms crossed over your chest as you kicked a couple of stray rocks and twigs with your heel clad shoes, not caring if they were getting scuffed all the while mumbling about how much of a prick your date was. 

“Rough night?” A voice brought you out of your thoughts as you turned to your left to see Bucky leaning against his bike, arms crossed over his chest as his leather jacket and black jeans hugged every muscle. 

“You wouldn’t believe it,” you chuckled dryly as you stood on the pavement in front of Bucky, “Lemme guess,” Bucky smirked as he straightened out his posture, “all talk no action sorta guy?” He guessed as you dropped your head, chuckling, “how’d you guess?” You asked almost rhetorically as Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “lucky guess,” he said as he moved to grab a helmet. 

“How ‘bout I give you a ride home?” He suggested, holding out the helmet to you as you thought it over, “why not,” you shrugged before Bucky got on his bike, you following his actions as you loosely wrapped your arms around his torso, “you’re gonna have to hold on tighter than that, doll,” he chuckled as you tightened your grip on him as his engine roared to life once more. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you said, passing his helmet to him as he smiled, “it was my pleasure, darlin’,” he said before you both fell into a sort of awkward silence, “well, I should get going,” you said as he nodded his head, “yeah for sure,” he said but you didn’t move. 

You turned around taking one step before turning around hastily walking over to Bucky, giving him a kiss on his cheek, “thanks again,” you whispered as a blush crept over your cheeks, “like I said, anytime, doll,” he said, his breath fanning over your face from your close proximity. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers moved a strand of hair behind your face, “better get home before your parents start to get worried darlin’,” he whispered as you nodded, practically skipping up the steps to your home. 


The third time that your eyes landed on Bucky was when you were grabbing the mail on a Sunday morning, fluffly robe, cat pj pants, and koala slippers. Your heart kicked as his eyes landed on yours, a smirk making its way onto his face. 

You cursed yourself for stepping out of the house in the state you were in, hoping that Bucky would continue to mow the neighbours lawn instead on striking up a conversation with you. 

Luck was not on your side as Bucky jogged up to you, smirk not faltering. 

“Mornin’ stranger,” he chuckled as you grabbed the multiple envelopes from your mailbox, “mornin’ Buck,” you giggled as he crossed his muscular arms over his chest, the tank top he was wearing left little to the imagination. 

“You mowing lawns now?” You teased as he chuckled, “Mrs. Braverman needed a strong, handsome fella to help her out,” he winked as you rolled your eyes, “then get back to work, Barnes,” you said walking back towards your front door. 

“I sure will, kitten,” he shouted back as you sighed knowing you had just gotten a knew nickname from him, “never again,” you mumbled to yourself, stepping inside the house, swearing to throw out those dreaded pyjama pants. 


The fourth time you saw Bucky was when you walked passed an ally hearing someone groan in pain as you did. You told yourself that you should just ignore it, that it wasn’t a good idea to get mixed up with whoever’s business it was. 

That was until you heard a man snicker, “should’a thought twice ‘bout challengin’ me, Barnes.” 

You took a deep breath mustering up as much courage as you could before venturing into the alley, your heels clacking along the pavement, echoing so much that it got the men’s attention.

Bucky was on the ground, face bloodied as three men stood over him, “what’re you doin’ here, little lady,” one of the men snickered, coming closer to you. He reeked of body odour and whiskey, almost making you sick to your stomach, “let him go,” you said sternly, eyes flickering over to Bucky’s whose were pleading for you to just run. 

“Or what?” They taunted as you rolled your eyes, “you really wanna beat up a lady? Go ahead,” you smirked as all the men snarled before brushing past you, “you’re lucky your girl saved you, Barnes,” they spat, “next time you won’t be lucky,” they barked before leaving the alley. 

“Are you crazy!” Bucky gasped as he jumped up, slightly limping towards you, “don’t you ever do that again, ya hear me, doll?” He said, hands cupping your face as his desperate eyes searched yours. 

“I couldn’t let them hurt you,” you whispered, his thumb rubbing over your cheeks as he closed his eyes, shaking his head, “let’s get out of here,” he said as you nodded. You wrapped your arm around his torso as he wrapped his around your shoulder for support before you made it to your house. 

“Sit,” you commanded as he did what he was told, sitting on the covered toilet as you grabbed a bunch of medical supplies, “you’re lucky my parents are doctors,” you joked as you began cleaning his face, “that I am,” he mumbled, watching your concentrated expression as you moved on fixing him up. 

“There,” you said, throwing the last piece of bloodied tissue in the trash, “all done,” you smiled as Bucky examined his face in the mirror, “you’re real good at this, sure you don’t got anyone else to practice on?” He half-joked as you chuckled, “I’m a fast learner,” you smiled as he brushed some of your hair behind you ear, cupping your jaw with his hand. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled as your eyes fixated on each others. Everything around you seemed to still as Bucky slowly leaned in, until his lips were just inches from yours. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tippie toes as you closed the space between the two of you, connecting your lips in a gentle kiss, Bucky’s free hand pulling you closer to him. 

“You’re very welcome,” you winked as you pulled apart, leaving Bucky’s head spinning. 


The fifth time you saw Bucky he was stood outside the carnival entrance, flipping a coin as he leaned against the wooden fence, eyes searching for your own. The second they met yours he dropped his coin and pushed off the fence to embrace you in a hug. 

“You came,” he said, awestruck by your presence, “I told ya I would,” you said, wrapping your arms around his torso as he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leading you inside. 

It took weeks of convincing, but you had finally agreed on going on a date with Bucky. You were hesitant, not because you didn’t like him, but because your parent’s would surely have heart attacks if they found out you were going out with the town’s bike gang leader. 

“I’m, uh, really happy you’re here,” Bucky said shyly as he intertwined his fingers with yours, a blush creeping up onto his cheeks, “is the infamous Bucky Barnes blushing?” You teased, tilting his chin up with your index and middle finger. 

“Am not,” he said defensively, pulling you towards the ferris wheel, “I’m just a little cold,” he tried to cover up as you giggled, “whatever you say,” you teased as he wrapped his arms around your torso. 

“It’s so beautiful,” you said in awe as the ferris wheel reached the top, “not as beautiful as you, doll,” Bucky quipped as you hid your face in the crook of his neck in a desperate attempt to hide your own blush.

“Oh is the infamous [Y/N] [Y/L/N] blushing,” Bucky mocked your previous words as you narrowed your eyes at him, “you’re lucky you’re cute,” you said as he pulled you closer to him, “ditto,” he mumbled against your lips before pressing them in a passionate kiss making your toes curl. 

“You should sneak out more often,” Bucky chuckled as you whimpered at the loss of his lips against yours, “less talking more kissing,” you mumbled before threading your fingers through his hair as he happily pressed his lips against yours again. 

Needless to say it was a bit difficult to keep your hickey’s covered from your parents as they scolded you. 

Thank God for fall or else your parents would be livid about the marks on your thighs. 

Natural - Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Title: Natural

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Imagine Bill seeing you interact with little Jackson on set and realizing he wants to have kids with you.

A/N: (Y/s/n) = Your Superhero Name, Y’all little Georgie is everything! And I’m not the one to easily find kids adorable or say I’d want a kid like that but oh dear!

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Bill asked with an adorable frown as he looked down at you and you chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“Bill you don’t have to worry about me, I already have an amazing company!” you grinned, turning to look at Jackson who was barely able to hold all of the comics in his small hands.

“You two will get along perfectly fine.” he breathed out with a small chuckle and you giggled after looking at your small fan and then back at your boyfriend.

“We already are.” you winked “Come on now, go be a big scary clown and don’t get all messy with the blood, children are not like eating chicken and you know it. Bones are bigger and there usually is a whole lot more blood, cause you practically eat them alive and yeah.” you leaned in and pecked his lips as he laughed at you.

“You’re so weird.” he made a funny face but still looked at you with adoration.

“But that’s why you love me.” you breathed out, your hands resting on his chest “And if you need any tips on red lipstick I am always here, baby.” you winked with a giggle and he chuckled.

“You are… amazing.” he breathed out, cupping your face before fully kissing you on the lips.

Keep reading

More Than Friends (Bill Skarsgård)

Originally posted by karlmordo

Based upon: Being Bill’s makeup artist on the set of It. As filming goes on, you start to think of him as more than a friend. Fearing you’ll let something slip, you act more reserved around him, causing him to wonder what is wrong. Near the end of the shoot, you confess your feelings and he reciprocates, leading to sex back at your place.

Getting paid to do someone’s makeup was what she considered to be the greatest job on the planet. However, the people one works with can really make or break the experience. Being hired to do makeup for Pennywise and the kids of the Losers Club in the newest adaptation of It was a dream come true. Never before had she been hired to create such a complex look, it was challenging and exciting.

Bill was the nicest person she ever met, thought she ever would meet. After some months of daily makeup sessions, the two became friends.


“How was filming today?” She asked him as he climbed into her trailer.

“Good. We shot my forest scenes today.” He replied, giving her a smile.

She cringed, “Don’t smile. At least not until I take that makeup off.”

He rolled his eyes before shutting the door behind him and made his way over to her, dressed in his regular clothes. She was busy taking out makeup removers, a face cloth, cleansers and moisturizers; everything she needed to take off the product. So he sat down in his chair in front of the large mirror which was adorned with lightbulbs covering the frame.

She came up behind him, her eyes meeting his in the reflection. “You look ugly.” She joked, her eyes playful.

He snorted, “Yeah, yeah. Get on with it.”

She carefully removed his wig and placed it on the counter before slipping her fingers under the cap which covered his hair. He closed his eyes with relief when she pulled it off, freeing his hair. She glanced at him, noticing he was massaging his head and laughed loudly.

“You try wearing that thing all day.” He complained.

“I have, just not that one.” She smirked.

She grabbed the bottle of hydrating remover and removed the cap, letting the liquid soak through the cloth before dragging the fabric over his forehead. The white product came off easily, making the white of the cloth even brighter.

“Close your eyes.” She said softly.

His pale eyes met her dark ones before he closed them. The fabric ran over his face, making his skin feel healthier, clean and fresh.


“Alright, time for your favourite part.” She joked. She liked to tell him that he was getting a free facial everyday, so he should be thankful and totally in her dept.

“You know me well.” He laughed back.

He liked the feeling of her smart fingers tracing over his skin, especially with his eyes closed.

“I can’t believe we’re wrapping soon.” He confessed as her hands worked wonders on his skin.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Only one week left.” She remembered.

She wiped toner over his freshly cleansed face, pushing his hair back when she cleaned his forehead.

“I’m glad I won’t be scaring everyone on set everyday.”

She giggled, “I think you’ll continue to do that anyway.”

His eyes flew open, filled with faux shock.

“You wound me.” He replied, holding a hand over his heart.

She swatted at him before admitting: “You couldn’t even do that if you tried. They have to hire me to make you look hideous.”

He closed his eyes again as she began to rub a gentle moisturizer into his temples.

“Mm, are you saying I’m incredibly handsome?” He questioned.

“Yes.” She said simply, her lips moving faster than her brain.

She mentally cringed and reached to grab more moisturizer so he wouldn’t feel her hands stiffen. She liked Bill. Scratch that, she really like Bill. After months of doing his makeup everyday, watching him film some scenes and grabbing lunch together almost everyday, she had a hard time seeing him as just a friend.

He cracked one eye open and watched her as she rubbed more cool product over his sharp cheekbones. She avoided making any eye contact with him.


“Okay, I’m all done.” She said quickly.

She grabbed all of the products and materials that she had brought out and walked to the opposite end of the trailer. She had her back to him as she placed everything back on the shelves.

He is Bill Skarsgård, world famous actor who was born into an acting family. With a large group of dedicated fans and following, she assumed he would just say a quick “Goodbye” and leave for the day. He was up at five am to begin makeup and then shot a solid amount of footage while wearing a stuffy costume and full face of make up in the summer heat of Toronto. So when she felt hands slip onto her waist, she froze were she was, her hand gripping the bottle of toner tightly.

He stepped closer to her, his body flush against her back.

Slowly, she removed her hand from the bauble and placed it alongside her other on the counter. She was conflicted, did not know how to truly feel about his contact.

“Bill…”

He turned her around to face him. He saw she was biting her lip nervously, arms limp at her sides. He moved his hands up from her waist to her neck, then cheek as he looked into her eyes. Her chest was rising and falling heavily causing her breasts to swell against her blouse.

He leant down to her height and pressed his lips against hers, combing his hand through her soft hair. She stood frozen for a second before melting into his touch, responding with as much desire as he did. Her hands wrapped around him, gripping his back tightly as her lips moved against his.

Suddenly, he backed her into the counter, emitting a moan from her. God, he wanted her. After months of getting to know her, having her do his makeup and laugh with him; he wanted nothing more than to finally show her how much she mattered to him.

He moved his hands to the back of her thighs, “Jump.” He mumbled between kisses.

She wrapped her dress pant clothed legs around his hips and her arms wove their way around the back of his neck, fingers tangling and pulling at his locks.

He moved his smooth lips down her neck, kissing, sucking and biting as he went. He back arched into him and he gripped her hips harder, making her head dip back.

“Do you wanna… go to m-my place?” She breathed.

He gave her lips a swift kiss, “Yes.”


She un-clasped the buttons of her navy blue blouse as she straddled Bill’s lanky body. Once all the buttons were open, she slowly slid the sleeves down from her shoulders, exposing her red push up bra. He grinned up at her.

He let her take off his belt before he flipped her over and began go peel off her pants and then his own as she tugged off his shirt.

He almost moaned at the sight of her; chest beating heavily, breasts heaving wilding, tousled hair, parted lips.

He wanted to touch every inch of her.


Her whole body buzzed with adrenaline and pleasure, it was so overwhelming that it felt unreal. There was absolutely no way that Bill Skarsgård was having sex with her, touching her like no one else could. Yet, he was.

She wanted to moan loudly, scream his name and cry out but despite everything that happened that day, she chose to stifle her moans so they only came out a sharp breaths.

He hit deep inside her and she clawed on his back, holding him desperately as to not make a sound.

Another thrust sent her head against his shoulder, her moan being muffled by his hot skin.

“I want to hear you.” He said deep and huskily.

She let her head fall back onto the pillow beneath her and she wholeheartedly gave herself to him.

“B-Bill.” She moaned as he pushed deep inside of her.

Her back arched into his touch and he swore: “Shit. God… Y/N.”

It hit hard, fast and all to powerful, bringing her over the edge and crying his name. He followed soon after.


They laid in her bed, panting and hot. She had her head rested on his chest and his arm was wrapped around her body, keeping her close to him. She reached for his free hand and intertwined their fingers. He pressed a soft kiss to their hands.

“Bill?” She looked up at him.

“Hm?”

“I’m going to miss you a lot.” She whispered quietly, looking at their adjoined hands.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said simply, giving her hand a squeeze.

“You mean?”

“What I mean is,” He pushed her onto her back and sat above her, “I love you. I don’t want to go anywhere. That is, if you’ll have me?” He finished, gazing into her stunning eyes.

Those orbs began to tear up.

“Yes… of course.” Her voice shook with happiness.

He smiled at her and her lips spread widely back.

The Value Of Just Shutting The Fuck Up Sometimes


A few weeks ago, I was doing an interview with a reporter and she was asking about almost every weird GamerGate conspiracy theory that had come up about me in the last few years. I’ve honestly forgotten more of them than I remembered at this point. She didn’t seem to understand why I’d never addressed most of the accusations which had ranged from whose dick I touched to literally murdering people. She said in researching me for the piece, she’d only ever found the weirdo accusations but not my version of events, and seemed to not understand why I wouldn’t just say what actually did or didn’t happen.

I can’t blame her for being curious. I think whenever we hear something wild, especially about someone or something we care about, we want to know answers. Lord knows if you’re the one being lied about, it’s a natural impulse to want to set the record straight or give your side of anything.

Sadly, that’s extremely short sighted. No one thinks about what might happen next.

It’s been over three years of being accused of all kinds of shit from all kinds of people, and if I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned the importance of restraint and the responsibility that comes with having a large platform and gigantic visibility. It makes me feel like a kaiju where any small movement could potentially tip over a building. I’ve written a bunch in my book about how engaging with bad-faith accusations and signal boosting them just to refute them can easily backfire and ingrain false information in people’s minds even further. That can sometimes just come down to a math problem - if someone with an audience of 50 makes up a rumor about you, if you respond to it with your audience of 500, more people are going to see the false stuff than would otherwise. To complicate matters, there are enough people out there who think that even refuting something at all makes you look guilty. There are people who want you to be guilty because they already don’t like you. Frequently, bad-faith accusations will not be addressed by proof to the contrary, because you can’t reason someone out of something they didn’t reason themselves into in the first place. People are complicated.

But when you put your side of anything out there, the thing that comes next isn’t usually “oh, okay”. The thing that comes next is usually escalation. It’s people digging into shit trying to prove you wrong. It’s invasive, and it can have so much collateral damage.

For example, when people ask me why I didn’t address my ex’s claims about who I did and didn’t sleep with, even when I had the floor, I get why they’d ask. My own desire to keep some remaining shred of my privacy aside, those claims aren’t just about me. I’ve been accused of sleeping with people I haven’t ever really talked to, people who are pretty private in general who just want to be left the hell alone. I don’t have the right to drag them back into a messy situation that involves probably getting stalked and yelled at by nazis just to try and save my own skin, especially since it’s more likely than not that people are just going to believe whatever they want to anyway. Or maybe that’s me being cynical after watching years of people claiming that I fucked someone for a review I never got from a website I already had written for in the past. I honestly have, I think understandably, lost a bit of perspective on that particular point.

This is especially complicated by situations like mine, because I am under constant surveillance by people who hate my guts who are looking for people to hurt, and people looking to feed on “drama”, and people looking for new targets. If you think that’s being dramatic, there are places I know of that have threads specifically about stalking me *to this day* with literally thousands of posts in them. Bad faith actors aside, my audience is in the hundreds of thousands. The responsibility that comes with that is something I take extremely seriously.
It’s something that I encourage everyone else with big online platforms to take extremely seriously too. I think a lot of us internet famous folks ended up here without really trying to, and it’s easy to feel like “well I didn’t ask for this and it’s not my fault if something happens” and while, yeah, sure, you can’t take responsibility for the actions of other people (especially people who are super out there and just looking to hurt someone regardless of whatever you’re doing), I see no reason to not try to minimize harm. A power dynamic doesn’t cease to exist just because you didn’t explicitly seek that power out, or maybe didn’t even want it in the first place. People who have less resources than you will still have less resources than you regardless of how you feel about it.

When there’s a significant power differential at play, there’s harm algebra to be done when it comes to addressing disinformation. It’s not as simple as “just setting the record straight” in public, because once you make something public you give up a certain degree of control that you cannot get back. It might mean putting someone who is already hurting or has so much less than me in more harm than I’d ever face by just taking the reputation hit.

Sometimes there’s situations where I just have to take it on the chin, because nothing happens in a vacuum. Sometimes I just have to let it go, no matter how much it fucking sucks to have people out there tearing into you for reasons that really have very little to do with you, because the collateral damage is too much on too many people to justify any potential repairs to my reputation.

Honestly, it’s really not worth it to me to escalate a situation just to make a frequently pointless attempt at getting people to be more critical of the wild shit they read about me online, especially when it means probably hurting someone else. It’s been years and I still don’t know how to navigate a lot of this. I’ve tried so much already - talking about bigger stuff, proving what actually happened, attempting to prove negatives, responding only with screenshots of fighting game win screens. It’s not like people making shit up about me, regardless of motivation, is a novel occurrence in my life. It’s not like I’ve made the right call all the time - I’ve arrived at this method of dealing with shit after making a lot of *wrong* calls. I’ve been pretty open about being a bad fit for being a public figure of any sort - I was (and still feel) vastly unprepared to handle being a weird symbol to so many people who want all kinds of things from me regardless of if they need a villain or a hero or a symbol of whatever the fuck.

Frankly I can’t live my life around playing whack a mole with whatever new horseshit slithers out of the corners of the internet on any given day that ends in Y, because when I was trying to do that it really almost cost me my life.

A fun side effect of being a survivor of domestic violence is how easy it is to slip back into doubting your own life and experiences to a hyperbolic degree. A fun side effect of depression is feeling like everything you say and do is bad and wrong and that you’re worthless on a regular basis. A fun side effect of my PTSD is flashing back to being in that fucking elevator shaft when GamerGate started and I couldn’t sleep or eat and was convinced everyone would turn on me and I’d be alone forever any time some conspiracy comes up that hits me at just the right angle that it gets under my armor.

But I know that’s squarely out of my control. All I can do is manage what I do with that. I don’t know what else to do other than seek external advice from people smarter than me when something comes up that really gets under my skin or makes me doubt my own version of events even when I damn well know something didn’t happen to help counter the trashbrain filter that the disinformation comes in through because having those issues doesn’t let me off of any hooks. I don’t want to use any of that, or even my status as someone who is frequently targeted with shit that I’m too exhausted to type out so just picture me gesturing vaguely at everything to absolve me of anything. I don’t ever want to think I’m above reproach, so I check in with people around me who will be honest and call me on my shit. When I do fuck up, and I do because I’m a human in an extremely weird fucking situation, I do whatever seems like the right thing to do, not the face-saving thing to do. Sometimes, this is shit that’s done in private. I don’t know why people assume everything has to be handled extremely online. But overwhelmingly more often than not, shit is maliciously made up, and more often than not the only right move that will de-escalate shit and hurt the least amount of people is just letting it go and praying that people will see through it, or they’ll actually talk to me if they see some wild accusation. And if people wanted to look for reasons to think the worst and get the knives out immediately, honestly, I feel extremely done with anyone looking to build people up only to gleefully tear them back down. I’m tired and I’ve watched too many communities devour themselves to want any part of that, and am only interested in working toward a future that’s centered on restorative justice instead of exclusively punitive systems in different settings. I’m tired of enthusiastic disposibility masquerading as community. All that behavior says to me is that I was never safe around you in the first place.  

I know I’m taking a gigantic risk in even posting this to begin with because I know it’s an uncomfortable subject, but it feels like a bigger, longer-term risk to watch my comrades, siblings, and friends all scared and lost on either side of the power dynamic - both as people who have grievances with people with gigantic platforms, and as people who have gained both visibility and the jealousy and hatefollows that come with it. I’m tired of talking about this stuff in dms with other scared people who don’t know what to do. And by no means do I think this is the only way to deal with any of this - this is just how I feel, and how I approach being someone who went from being some random weirdo to being a cultural football. Your mileage may vary. Hopefully I figure out a way that’s less dehumanizing, and if I do, I’ll be sure and let you know. But again, I’m a random weirdo game developer. I’m figuring this shit out as I go, and I lean into my skids and wear my heart on my sleeve and if y'all want to throw me in the trash over being aggressively vulnerable and human at you, that’s ok. You don’t have to like me or support me, and I like trash anyway.

Shit’s pretty fucked up in the world right now (duh), but the very least we can do is really interrogate how and what we use our varying degrees of reach and visibility for. We have to see ourselves as part of something larger and look at our impact instead of just our intentions. For me, sometimes that means that being right doesn’t mean a damn thing and is unrelated to doing the right thing. Sometimes, for me, that means knowing when to just shut the fuck up and let people think what they’re gonna think. And if nothing else, I’ve seen that on a long enough timeline, people tend to figure out who makes shit up without my involvement.

So I’m only gonna say all of this once, here, so that I never have to say it again and I can point at it any time I’m asked to weigh in on something someone said about me on the internet, because god damn I’m tired and I’d rather spend my time and effort trying to help people and make dope shit than fuss about what people think they know about me.