i am doing nothing but watching tv

check please characters as john mulaney quotes
  • bitty: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • jack: in terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
  • shitty: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • lardo: i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under
  • ransom: holster and i have a new house. it was built in the '20s, but it was flipped in 2014. which means it's haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
  • holster: nothing that i know can help you with your car ever. unless you’re like, “hey, i’ve got a flat tire, does anyone here know a lot about 30 rock”?
  • chowder: it's fun to be married. i’ve never been supervised before. i’m supervised. farmer studies what i do, like an anthropologist. she'll be like, “sometimes, he will watch a movie on tv even though he already owns that movie on dvd. pointing this out confuses and upsets him"
  • nursey: the bad guy would hold the joint in a villainous way. they'd always offer the joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint. like it's a skull in a shakespeare play
  • dex: i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i’ll die
  • tango: ah... numbers, the letters of math
  • whiskey: sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all
Sweet Dreams

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Pairing: Sam x Reader (kind of)
Warnings:  Fluff
Summary: Sam comes to sleep in the readers room

“This is your room” Sam smiles, opening the motel room with the key card.
“I get my own room?” you asked, setting your duffel bag down on the bed.
“Yeah, I figured you’d probably want a night or two away so I got you your own. Is that okay?” Sam looked very hesitant, scared he might have upset you in some way. His worry instantly washed away when he saw a smile spread across your lips.
“Yeah, no that’s great! I won’t have to deal with Dean’s snoring; who knows, I might even get a good nights sleep for once.“ you laughed, laying back on your queen sized bed.
“Well, here’s a copy of your room key in case you need it. We have yours too, so if something happens just call.” Sam chuckled, laying the room key on the table by the door.

The first night on the job wasn’t so bad. Dean had staked out one of the suspects houses while you and Sam questioned the local authorities and towns people about the murders.

“I am beat” you sighed, climbing out of the impala.
“Yeah, flirting with the Deputy can do that to ya” Sam joked with a hint of jealousy in his voice. There had been some sexual tension between the two of you lately, nothing had happened yet, but that didn’t mean you didn’t want it to.

Rolling your eyes, you watched as they crossed the other side of the motel and went into their room. Sighing you closed your door and immediately peeled off your clothes and jumped into the shower. When you had finished your nighttime routine, you turned on the tv to watch Friends and passed out within the episode.

The sound of your door shutting woke you up, immediately grabbing the gun from under your pillow you pointed it at the door.
“Sam?” you asked sleepily, setting the gun on your nightstand and sitting up with a yawn.
“Dean’s snoring is keeping me up, is it cool if I sleep in here?” he asked, you could hear how tired he was in his voice.
“Yeah, its okay.” you yawned, snuggling back down into your comforter. You watched as Sam grabbed a blanket and pillow from the closet and laid down on the couch, curling up so he would fit properly. A small smile played on your lips, “Sam, come get in the bed.” you laughed, pulling the other side of the blanket up.
“I’m fine here, y/n” Sam laughed, laying his head on the pillow.
“Sam, if you don’t get in the bed then you can’t sleep in here” you warned, a jokingly tone slipped out, making him laugh too.

Getting up, he crossed the room in just a few strides and got into your bed.
“Are you sure this is okay?” he asked, making sure he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.
“I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t okay, Sammy” you mumbled, already falling back asleep. Hesitantly, Sam shifted his body so he was laying down under the covers, trying to make himself comfortable in the bed without disturbing you. There wasn’t a whole lot of room in the bed with the two of you.
“Sam” you whispered, feeling him shift in the bed.
“Yeah?” he replied, laying on his side facing your back.
“Come here” you whispered, grabbing his arm and pulling it over your body so you two were spooning. Sam moved closer to you, his front pressed right up against your back.
“Is this okay?” he asked, locking his arm around you so he could feel like he was protecting you from anything that might enter the room.
“mmmhmm” you mumbled again, slowly falling back into the sleep you had before he had come into your room.

The next morning, Dean entered your room, looking for Sam and was only a little bit shocked to find you two sleeping together in the same bed. Your bodies were pressed up against each other, your face was in Sam’s neck with his arms wound tightly around your body; almost as if he was trying to keep anyone from taking you from him.
Smiling softly, Dean pulled out his phone and took a few pictures of you two and laughed softly.
“Oh yeah, they are never going to live this down.”

Two Nights Stand Part 3

Summary: (Modern Au) After a bad breakup, your roommate insists that you need to a one night stand to end your dry spell. Following her advice, you have a bad one night stand with Bucky Barnes, but what happened when you are forced to spend time with him?

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1500

Warnings: This is vaguely inspired by a movie of the same name. In the future, the series will be having smut so be warned.

A/n: Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta.

Part 1 Part 2

Credits to the gifs owners

Awkward silence, the room is full of awkward silence and the smell of French toast. The worst part is that you don’t know what you both can talk about, the only ice breaker you can think of is the weather and you don’t think Bucky would appreciate your puns.

“We need to talk if we are going to be stuck in here for the next 24 hours.” He says taking you away from your thoughts, you take a bite of your French toast and you have to admit this is the best french toast that you’ve ever eaten. “I agree, but no upsetting questions.”

“What is an upsetting question? Because most of the things can be upsetting if we stop to think about it.” You shrug “I don’t know, who taught you how to cook?” He takes a sip of his orange juice smiling back at you. “My mother and grandmother. When I was a kid I would spend a lot of time with them in the kitchen.”

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i’m in love with the shape of you.
  • Summary: “It had been easy, for the first two or three weeks, to take things slow like they had agreed to when they started dating. (…) Now the problem was that even though Kara believed she had a good sense of self control, whenever Lena was around her, it seemed to run short.” Inspired by this tweet.
  • Pairing: Kara/Lena.
  • Rating: STRAIGHT UP SIN. +18
  • Beta’d by: Bia, who by the way forced me to write this. (@kinkylena)

It had been easy, for the first two or three weeks, to take things slow like they had agreed to when they started dating. Lena was chivalrous, gentle, sweet. All Kara could’ve wanted for in a partner. Most of their time together was spent in late night dates, drinking expensive wine and chinese takeout, maybe watching a bad movie, maybe playing chess (Lena insisted she wasn’t letting Kara win, that she had just improved but Kara didn’t believe a word she said), maybe just cuddling under a fuzzy blanket telling each other about their days. And of course, kissing. Now the problem was that even though Kara believed she had a good sense of self control, whenever Lena was around her, it seemed to run short.

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I'm Pansexual

Yup, in case you didn’t come across my bio, the one post I made mentioning it, or read the title, I’m pansexual. And it took me way too long to figure that out. If you’ve got the time, you can read the wild ride of me figuring out an important part of myself.

I didn’t even know gay people existed until I was 8. I was at an Asian buffet, and the tv was showing soap operas. With nothing else to do, I watched it. A scene came across that had two men kissing. My ultra conservative mom made me change seats so I couldn’t see, and later told me that it was sinful and wrong and etc.

I admittedly used to be kind of homophobic. I was surrounded by people with the same ideology, and was never exposed to anything different. My best friend at the time would always make comments about how “weird” gay people were. I would agree with her, because I am the passive person that hates being argumentative.

As I got older- maybe 12- , I really got into Doctor Who, which led to me finding and reading a ton of fanfiction. No, I wasn’t reading a ton of gay smut, but I did find really touching and well written gay romance. And I really liked it.

Because I live in a community that is pretty religious and conservative, I was always told to repress my sexuality, that it was wrong. I used to think I was asexual for a short time, but that was mostly because I was terrified of my own sexuality. I would rather have no sexuality than to be scorned for it.

After I concluded I couldn’t possibly be asexual because of my undeniable attraction to others, I sort of ignored it for a good long while. I was still scared of the stigma against LGBT people, and I felt that if I thought about my sexuality, I would figure out I’m part of them and be hated.

Finally, at 15, I decided my sexuality was nothing to ashamed of, and that I should stop ignoring it. I was coming to terms with the fact that I am attracted to girls, boys, and everyone outside and in between.

And I’m okay with that. I’m happy with that. 💗💛💙

  • me, jokingly: bet you miss me being there & insufferable & eating crackers in the bed, getting crumbs everywhere.. like the rascal i am..
  • my darling sweet angel gf (who is an angel), sincerely: i do i saw crumbs the other day & thought of you & almost started crying.. i wish you were here eating crackers in the bed w/ me again. also watching tv isn't the same w/o you. nothing is
  • me: 😯 ...... 😭
Psh Soulmates! (Lucifer x Reader)

Lucifer x reader 

Word Count: 555 (damn it! So close!)

Summary: Soulmates. You’re meant to love your soulmate, right? But what happens if your soulmate is a human hating, spiteful archangel?

 A/n: hey, I felt bad for leaving y'all without anything for almost three weeks so here’s a little drabble for you. I hope you enjoy it cus I found it quite funny in my sleep deprived state lol Let me know if you want a part two!! Ps. This is being posted from my phone so I’ll format it tomorrow lol k bye enjoy for now!

 – –

“What are you thinking about?” 

“You,” I said monotonously. 

“That’s cute,” Lucifer laughed. “And how all the ways you could kill me right now,” I continued, still not looking at the angel next to me. 

“Excuse me?” “You could kill me in a hundred different ways right now,” I repeated now looking over at him. Lucifer looked confused and a little hurt. “I would never-“

 “Why wouldn’t you,”

 “Because ” 

“Because some psychic freak said so? She couldn’t see you were the devil, pretty sure she was just spouting off random shit to get her money’s worth,” 

“You realise that physic freak was a messenger right? One of Dad’s personal mail men,” 

“So?” I exclaimed, jumping up from my bed, “Why would the big G.O.D care about me and why the hell would he care about you!”

“Watch your tongue,” Lucifer growled angrily, he stood up slowly and squared me up, standing to his full height. I looked up at him with the same anger, lashing like flames in my eyes.

 “Don’t tell me what to do,” I snarled.

 “Don’t insult me,”

 “Don’t insult me!“ I shouted back. 

“Humans!” Lucifer exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air and pacing to the other side of the room, “This is why I can’t stand you little cockroaches, you never know when to do what you’re told!” 

“Excuse me but the entire reason you were cast down from heaven in the first place was because you didn’t do as you were told!" 

“You can’t compare me to you mud monkeys!” 

“Well, I just did, I sassed, "Just because you have a pair of wings and a broken halo does not make you any better than me or anyone else on this planet!” 

“I don’t have a halo,” Lucifer snapped. “And we’ve gone off topic. Why would I kill you?” 

“You explained that yourself didn’t you,” I said with a sigh, “You hate humans, you hate every human in this world why would I be an exception. I don’t do anything special. I am literally no body,” 

“You’re my soulmate whether you like it or not Y/n,” 

“I don’t like it!” 

“Well tough, you’re stuck with me now,” We both glared at each other hard, breathing heavy and the air was thick was anger and tensions. Then we sat back down and carried on watching the show that was on the tv before like nothing happened. “What would happen if I sold my soul?" 

"I wouldn’t let that happen,” 

“But if I did,” 

“I’d get it out of Hell, you realise that I created Hell right. I can stop people becoming demons and I can make people demons,” 

“So? I could persuade a demon to hide my soul from you,” 

“You wouldn’t know that first thing about dealing with demons,”

 “Really? They sound easy,” I shrugged. 

“Fine, you know what, I’ll give you two days to try and sell your soul. See how far you get,” 

“Oh really?” 

“Really,” Lucifer smirked, cocking his eyebrow up and standing up to me with his hands on his hips, 

“You just tell them who you are and I’m sure they’ll do whatever you want,” 

“Fine then, two days it’s on!”

“Wait, you’re actually going?” Lucifer grabbed my arm as I walked past him, I laughed and shrugged him off, 

“Well, yeah. A challenge is a challenge Lucifer. If soulmates are meant to be similar in personality then you’ll know I would never back down from a challenge. Especially not one as fun as this,” 

“You could get hurt,” 

“And you’ll fix me again, it’s kind of what we do know apparently,” 

“You’re insufferable,” 

“Right back at you, wings,” 

“Don’t call me that!” 

Read Part Two Here

TAGGED: @bcr36 @lindsaylove1226 @mybittersweetbullshituniverse @bethanystan

Wake up!

Baron Corbin x Reader

Originally posted by sassabarry

“I know baby, yeah… I get that..” Baron was on his phone talking to his girlfriend of 4months, “Please, don’t be upset… I know, I know. Ok, well I’m on my way then!” the last sentece made you crease you eyebrow.

“What’s up this time?” you asked annoyed when Baron hung up.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I have to cancel our plans.” he nonchalantly informed you.

“What? Why? We talked about this for months now! Did you now how much I spent on the tickets?”

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  • tv character overcoming anxiety that prevents them from a new experience: ok, just think 'you can do this'. i am not the summation of my fears. i can face this down & persevere, i am stronger than my demons. well ... here goes nothing!
  • me overcoming anxiety that prevents me from a new experience: i mean you're dying dude, fuck it. they will build exactly 0 pyramids for your stupid 'watched final destination high' ass. just ride the fucking tilt-a-whirl, carpe diem
From Morning To Night

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Words: 1052
A little something all from Dean’s point of view
Warning: so much fluff

**Do not post my writing on any other sites without my explicit permission**

Dean’s Point Of View 

            Mornings. I had never really thought much about being a morning person or a night person. My sleep schedule was always off so much that I never really got used to being either of them.

            But now? I love mornings. As soon as light barely comes into the bedroom window of the small two-bedroom house, I’m awake. But it takes a lot longer for me to get out of bed. Partly because the bed is comfortable and I don’t have to get up right away. But mainly because of the sleeping woman lying next to me.     

            My entire life, I had convinced myself that I would never find love. That I would never be with someone and settle down. That I would never truly be happy. But she changed that as soon as she walked into my life.

            And now we have been married for three years and I still spend every morning just looking at her and thinking about how lucky I am to have her in my life.

            The sunlight makes her hair shine and accents the perfect little curve to her nose. Her lips are parted just slightly, making me want to kiss her so badly, but I want her to sleep. I want to just admire her beauty and not disturb her.

            My favorite thing of all is when she rolls toward me, curling against me, wrapping her arms around me, anything.

            And that’s when I can’t resist. When I have to wrap my arms around her as well. When I have to kiss her forehead or her nose or her lips.

            Her eye lids flutter, fighting waking up. But then she opens her eyes and looks up at me and smiles. And that’s how I know I am right where I was supposed to be. With the only person I could imagine spending my life with.

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clsirdelune  asked:

beau, can you rec me some of your fav romcom? thank you! x

of course bb! some of these might have more of a drama element than a strong comedy element but they’re all my faves so i hope you enjoy. in no particular order:

  • clueless (duh)
  • bridget jones’s diary (ditto)
  • she’s the man (this was my Favourite Movie of All Movies for like five years. and for good reason. CHANNING TATUM IN HIS PRIME TBH)
  • bring it on (KIRSTEN DUNST IN HER PRIME TBH!!! i fuckin love that guy she ends up with, he’s the perf combo of snarky musician hipster bs to balance out her perky blonde go-getter cheerleader-y-ness. why am i even saying this though like the odds are you’ve already seen this movie and LOVE IT TOO. also the clovers are everything)
  • john tucker must die (silly. also fantastic. also female friendships!!!)
  • monte carlo (idk why i love this movie so much but i really do. leighton meester’s character’s storyline makes me cry and want to fall in love and go swimming in a really cute one piece. selena gomez’s character’s storyline is cliche but also very sweet)
  • the proposal (forever and ever and ever favourite)
  • 10 things i hate about you (kat stratford is everything i aspire to be. why is there no heath ledger look-a-like in my life surprising me with a guitar i would never be able to play and a really hot make out session against my car that i don’t own)
  • amelie (THE ULTIMATE. mostly rommy, a bit commy, 100% magical and life-changing tbh)
  • begin again (i love this movie more than i ever thought possible - it improves on every rewatch - also i love the ending like. a lot. a lot a lot. very genuine and bittersweet and real. and the songs are REALLY GOOD you will replay that ost for a week straight i s2g)
  • flipped (so sweet you will PUKE. also highly underrated. PLEASE WATCH THIS MOVIE AND SHARE THE LOVE IT DESERVES)
  • miss congeniality (one of the defining rom coms of my life)
  • the duff (this movie has a gr8 message, whatever those who have read the book but not seen the movie say. also robbie amell and mae whitman are magical together)
  • you’ve got mail (you will cry. a lot. if you don’t cry i don’t want to know you)
  • when harry met sally (do not talk to me about this film i have too many feels about it i will punch you in the face.)
  • she’s all that (remember when freddie prinze jnr was like sooooooo hot in 1998 or whatever? WEIRD TIMES. whatever, just play “kiss me” by sixpence none the richer on repeat and cry with me)
  • it’s a boy girl thing (cringeworthy with the humour sometimes but the two leads have surprisingly amazing chemistry. i rewatch this every year and i love it a lot)
  • breakfast at tiffany’s (very rommy, not particularly commy but still wonderful. audrey hepburn was the most beautiful person alive. i don’t blame writer guy for falling in love with her on the spot. also you will cry when the cat runs away and it’s all raining and romantic and shit. i always do)
  • tangled (OOPS IT’S BETTER THAN FROZEN I SAID IT. idk if you would class this as a rom com bc it’s more a family movie but???? i do so whatev. eugene and rapunzel are too cute not to ship like a rom com couple tbh)
  • the to do list (HILARIOUS. aubrey plaza is a gift)
  • mean girls (do i need to say more. less rommy than commy ofc but who cares when the com part is sO GOOD)
  • someone like you (old school rom-com feat. ashley judd before she disappeared off the face of the earth and hugh jackman looking like absolute BABE TOWN and idk i think i watched this when i was young and it’s kind of stuck with me ever since even tho it seems to be a fairly nondescript kind of rom-com?? somehow still v enjoyable tho)
  • one fine day (okay again this is more of a family~ rom com if that makes sense but it’s just??? REALLY FEEL GOOD???? michelle pfeiffer is beautiful in this movie and george clooney’s a babe. idk watch this if you want an instant mood improver, it’s super duper cute)
  • some kind of wonderful (probably my favourite john hughes movie and again so underrated. that “””practice””” make out sesh in the garage is really hot)
  • just like heaven (another mark ruffalo goodie!!! i actually like this movie a lot and don’t talk about it much. very good to rewatch)
  • chasing liberty (corny af but i watched it in my formative years so i’m very fond of it)
  • legally blonde (more girl power-y than rom com-y but that’s cool anyway??? elle woods is Goals)
  • stardust (THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD YOU GUYS AND IT HAS FANTASY ELEMENTS WHICH ARE SO COOL AND THE ROMANCE STUFF IS LIKE REALLY GR8 AND IT’S BB CHARLIE COX?????? the best tbh. tumblr needs to talk about this movie way way more)
  • and last but not least anastasia (i watched this movie SIX TIMES IN ONE DAY when i was really young… and my sister and i learnt all the songs and sung the duets together for like a year… once i hired the video tape out from the video store and actually cried when i had to return it… yes i was like 10 when all this happened but what i’m trying to say is i have a lifelong attachment to this stupid animated movie and Dimitri and Anastasia are literally lke 68% of the reason i love the enemies > friends > lovers trope so much because THEY FIGHT ALL THE TIME AND THE FIGHTING IS ALWAYS JUST ILL DISGUISED SEXUAL TENSION TBH)
  • oh and for the jane austen contingent: pride and prejudice movie 2005, pride and prejudice miniseries 1995, emma miniseries 2009, and persuasion 2007 are all MEGA FAVES. wallow in those period drama feels like me for the last two days!!! burst into tears when your otp’s hands ~~~touch~~~ for the first time!!!! hold your breath when the camera closes in on their subsequently astonished/aroused faces!!! life is so gr8 u guys!!!!!!!
Future Makeup Artist // Jackson Wang (Got7)

Description: You’re visiting a friend in Korea, who happens to be a makeup artist for Got7. One day you’re bored so you go to work with her and you hit it off with Jackson.

Type: Fluff?

Pairing: Jackson x Reader

Word Count: 2467

Requested: Yes

Can i get a scenario of Jackson where like your visiting Korea because your friend works there as a make up artist for some famous idols, and like one day your bored so you go to work with your friend and meet some of the people she does make up for and it happens to be got7 and you and Jackson start to hit it off? Tysm in advance!

Author’s Note: Hey guys! Hope you’re taking care of yourselves. I wanted to apologize again for not posting at all for the past week. I’ve had terrible migraines, you know the ones that make you feel really dizzy and nauseous? Yeah, I’ve had those. I think I might need my vision checked. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! 

I’ve only edited this a couple times, I’ll probably edit it again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts. We have been cleared to land at the Incheon International Airport in Seoul, South Korea. We will be landing in approximately 10 minutes.Thank you.”

Fastening my seatbelt, I waited rather impatiently for the plane to land. I was eager to finally get off of this 14 hour flight that I had to take in order to get to Seoul. My best friend, Leigh-Ann moved to South Korea last year after graduating college to pursue a career as both a makeup artist and a stylist. Having not seen her in almost a whole year, I decided that I would come visit her while I was taking a semester off of school. Before boarding my flight, I talked to Leigh-Ann and she is going to meet me at the airport and take me back to her place, which is where I will be staying during my visit.

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Originally posted by chimchams

‘I don’t have a dirty mind…I have a sexy imagination’

Suga (bts)

Word count: 396

Genre: Fluff/impl. smut

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You Did What You Had To Do- Lafayette X Reader

a/n: guys i am going to try to make this a series, feel free to remind me that i have planned a bunch of other series as well that haven’t happened (yet)

warnings: mentions of cheating, that’s all i think?

You were sitting near the fountain in the quad, trying to catch up on some reading before your class began in thirty minutes, which to you seemed like no time at all.

You felt someone tap your shoulder and you turned around, annoyed at the sudden distraction before you saw who it was.

Lafayette, probably one of the most well known heartbreakers on campus was standing there. He intrigued you, if you were being honest so it led you to wonder why he was talking to you and more importantly, what did he want.

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Am I Manly?

You can request imagines, ships (fanfics), aesthetics or text posts if you want. Also feel free to message me if you want to talk (=^ェ^=)

Pairing: Jungkook x Male Reader

Warning: None

Word count: Only 287

You were standing in front of the mirror in your bedroom. You’d discarded your shirt on the floor. As you looked at your reflection you inspected your muscles. You flexed, your muscles weren’t very defined. You squeezed your arm, it felt more like fat then muscle. All you wanted to be was manly, but your body wasn’t matching with the manly phasic in your mind.

You didn’t pay much attention to Jungkook when he first walked in the room walked in the room. He then came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your torso, making you jumped.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey, you made me jump,” you responded.

He giggled. “What are you doing?” he asked.

You paused for a moment. “Nothing,” you replied, as you untangled yourself from his arm.

“Nothing?” he questioned.

You put you’re shirt on. “Yes nothing,” you repeated. You then walked out the room. Jungkook knew something was wrong, but he was worried that asking about it would just upset you even more. So he decided to leave it, he hoped you’d tell him later when you were ready.

Later the day you were both sitting on the sofa watching tv.

“Am I manly?” you asked out of the blue.

This was it. This was why he were upset earlier, Jungkook thought.

“Of course you are,” he replied. You sighed. “Why do you ask?” he added.

“It’s just some people online have been saying I’m not manly and that I’m not a real man,” you explained.

“Listen. You’re a man no matter what anyone says. You shouldn’t listen to those assholes online. You’re my handsome boyfriend and I love you,” he reassured. You wrapped your arms around him and smiled, “thank you.”

Originally posted by sugutie

I am wondering, how many people who are now celebrating and cheering over Gillian’s post about the lack of female writers in The X-Files, not so long ago also wrote why “All Things” is not so great, and how they dislike it? How they never said one positive thing about “Aubrey” which was written also by a woman. Or did they ever acknowledge another woman and her ep “John Doe” which she directed? And did they ever say a word about Kim Newton, a newbie at that time, who wrote “Quagmire” and not praised Darin who was only her assistant? Where their “feminist” was then? And finally, did any of them suggested a female writer for s11 instead of shouting out their support for other male writers as Frank, Vince or David? Where this hypocrisy ends? 

And Gillian had three fucking years to talk about it! She has never before brought up this subject! So why now when the list is already completed? (of course, I know why but go figure it out by yourself).

And does it really that matter if a person with a vagina and not penis will make an episode? Because I thought that the most important should be the quality but also professionalism and ability of the people who are working on the show! The X-Files was created by men and so what? I still fucking love it! This show was and still is my life! I grew up watching it. It made me a person I am today, thanks to those men! There were 208 episodes and not everyone was great but again, so what? I still wouldn't change a thing because they’ve created the best TV show and iconic characters ever in the TV history! And I am looking forward to season 11 and I believe it will not disappoint!

Also, feminism isn’t about giving women everything only because they have vaginas! Feminism is about equality! Being a woman shouldn't give you the right to be pushed ahead for doing nothing, to be considered a God and perfection whose no one dares to criticise (yes, I am looking at you who calls others misogynists only because they dared to say a negative thing about another woman)! I want to be respected because of my hard and good work and not because I have a vagina! 

and also…

I am done with the hate towards X-Files and its creators! And I am also done with the hate towards David. Leave him out of it!

Gonna take a moment here to rec one of my favorite Harry Potter fanfics EVER: The Very Secret Diary by Arabella. It’s basically the correspondences between Ginny and Tom Riddle that must’ve taken place over the course of Chamber of Secrets. The fic is pretty old by internet standards (it was written before the series was finished), but once you get used to the small things that canon debunked later (the biggest one being the fanon that Ginny’s full name was “Virginia” before it was revealed to be “Ginevra” later on), you don’t even notice.

This fic is MASTERFULLY written, and downright terrifying in some parts. It’s like watching a trainwreck in slow-motion – seriously, I read it all in one sitting, 10 PM - 4 AM, because I couldn’t stop reading. (And yes, I had to do stuff the next day. I regret NOTHING.) It’s very much a psychological horror piece, and has one of the best characterized Ginnys I’ve read. And Tom is very well-done, too.

And hey, look – a TV Tropes page!

Please read this fic. You won’t regret it.

LEGION Recap: 1x01

Last spring when I was getting mildly sloshed off cheap French rosés and falling in love with the X-Men, I did not know it was because my compass heart had swung unerringly to the superhero franchise that, in its infinite batshit whimsy, would see fit to produce an eight-episode kaleidoscopic mutant concept piece less than one year later, as if the surrealist inventive fuckery inherent in the X-Men universe had just been waiting for me, DTF.

And then Legion had to wait for me a bit more, as historically I’ve only ever managed to watch one TV show at a time. Why? BECAUSE I DO NOTHING BY HALVES, SON. And presently I am still lost in space with my beloved golden-hearts on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

But then I saw a gifset of what looked like Jemaine Clement in a pale suit on some sort of Mylar-draped soundstage, and that was fucking it. I could feel a give in my ribs as I was pulled toward my true north, to Legion, to the show seemingly made out of scraps and spangles fished out of my own head.

So let’s do it. Let’s do two shows at once. Let’s see what my capacity for sustained enthusiasm actually is. Let’s open up all the valves, let’s set fire to tears, LET’S GO.

Legion - Season 1, ‘Chapter 1’

Wooouuuld you like this show to begin with a deeply stylized growing-up montage set to “Happy Jack” by The Who, hyper-slo-mo snapshots all centered in frame, quaint and retro until our boy hits age of onset and begins screaming it into a distorted symmetrical Wes Anderson nightmare? Hohoho, would I.


Troubled kid grows into troubled man, until his big haunted eyes see no more hope, and he tries to hang himself with an electrical cord, which sparks like synapses (!!! guys) into a sparkling candle on a cupcake — his birthday. Thirty-odd complete revolutions around the sun for David, the last five spent inside this mental institution, which outfits its patients in burnt orange track jackets with yellow stripes, because THE SIXTIES, groovy.

Dan Stevens does a pretty passable American accent, it turns out. His most amazing transformation is still when he left his second chin in Downton Abbey and suddenly looked like his own hot evil twin, but this is good too.

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