i am definitely adam

Soulmate au (pt.5)

It was said that when you met your soulmate, their thoughts about you appeared on your skin. The words could change over time but were impossible to remove if they still remained. And it wasn’t particularly thrilling to know your soulmate thought you were a loser.

Finally, here is part 5! God, this took some. I’ve never edited and re-wrote and changed a piece of writing so much in my life. I just couldn’t seem to get it right and even now I’m not completely satisfied, but I’m just letting it go otherwise I’ll never get out of this slump. I hope you enjoy it, especially that anon that said it’s keeping them sane. Bless you.

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Professor Snape: Human Being

So. Over the past few months, I’ve read a lot of both anti-Snape and pro-Snape posts on Tumblr (all over the internet, really). I am personally a Snape fan, and yet, I’ve found that I have issues with both sides and their arguments. Normally I use this blog for social activism … but as these fictional issues relate to real-life issues, I’m going to say this anyway.

I don’t believe Snape was a bad person. I also don’t believe he was a good person. I believe Severus Snape was an incredibly human person, and potentially a lesson in cycles of abuse, human nature, emotional health, and long-term effects of trauma.

I could literally write several essays on this man, so I’ll stick to the points that seem to be brought up the most. There are other points, including Snape’s upbringing, growing up in Slytherin, being a Death eater, being a spy, and Dumbledore, but I’ll just deal with these three for now.

The Marauders: I fully, 100% believe that the Marauders were cruel, relentless bullies toward Snape. Does this make them evil? No. But having been a victim of bullying myself—for a shorter time and much lighter bullying than what Snape endured—I can attest that it deeply affects those who suffer through it, especially those with no support system (which Snape didn’t have). Even if the Marauders changed (and there’s still debate as to how much they did, but that’s another topic), that doesn’t change what they did to Snape. Snape still had to suffer for it. And no, I don’t believe that him fighting back makes it not bullying. That’s the same way so many schools operate today: that unless you literally stand there and let them abuse you (and sometimes not even then), you are just as guilty. The Marauders sought Snape out and attacked him, four on one (or at least two on one). This is bullying, and at least counts as verbal abuse, and probably some physical, with the flipping him upside down, stripping him, and choking him with soap. And what Sirius did? I don’t care if Sirius didn’t intend it that way: in Snape’s eyes, that was attempted murder (not to mention extremely cruel toward Remus).

Lily: J.K. Rowling has said numerous times that Snape truly loved Lily, and I agree, whether it was friendship or a romance. Was this the kind of love you would want in a healthy relationship? Not particularly. Lily was literally everything to Snape, and that doesn’t tend to lend itself to healthy relationships in the long run. He was desperate and lonely and had minimal social skills and didn’t understand a lot about how to be a good friend. But I do not think he harassed her. I do not think he stalked her (where did this one come from, really?). His way of speaking around her was awkward and sometimes rude, but definitely not as bad as the things James said (“I’ll leave him alone if you go out with me” and “Don’t make me hex you, Evans,” for instance). I think what he felt was love. He had just had far too rough a life to be in a relationship, at least at that point in his development. And though I do think he genuinely regretted the “mudblood” incident and sustained no racist prejudices in the long term, I think Lily had every right to end their friendship. He was getting involved in a crowd she could see was going down a very dark path, and Lily couldn’t pull him out alone.

Potions Professor: Okay, this is where I disagree with at least some Snape fans. I fully believe that what Snape did counts as verbal abuse, just like what the Marauders did counts as abuse (although Snape never dangled one of his students upside down and pants-ed them). At the very least, it was bad bullying. Snape had greater social power and took advantage of it over innocent children (who began fighting back, a bit like Snape did). Is his attitude understandable given his life circumstances, his trauma, his spying, his lack of positive role models? Definitely. But that makes it no less unacceptable. I am very adamant about acceptable ways of treating children, and Snape falls below the line by about a mile. Just as I’ve been bullied, I’ve also been treated poorly by teachers, even singled out, and not nearly as bad as Snape did to his students. It can screw you up. I don’t condone it, and if Snape were real and living, and if he was teaching a child of mine, I would march right into his office and lecture his ears off, then pull my kid out of his class so fast the chair would probably catch fire.

However …

He did wonderful things at the same time. He was a huge jerk to Harry, but also risked his life to save not only Harry, but many others who he had made no promise to save. Lily was dead, and eventually Dumbledore was dead, too: he had nothing to gain from serving the cause except seeing what she wanted in the world realized. And he ended up dying for the cause, even while believing that all he had done to protect Harry was for nothing. Without him, chances are that Voldemort would have won, and Harry very well may have died in first year. He is a bully, but he is a hero.

(And to be frank, a lot of the Hogwarts professors do things that are … rather awful, actually. McGonagall’s animal cruelty Transfiguration class and locking Neville out of the common room while Sirius Black was on the loose, to give two examples. So it seems like Hogwarts as a school condones student maltreatment, to an extent. Not to mention the blatant unfairness and favoritism of several professors.)

In addition to all of this, Snape’s character makes sense. What happens when you are neglected and possibly abused at home and no one saves you? What happens when you are tormented at school and only one person ever cares? What happens when you are nearly killed and your near-murderer is allowed to go free, while you are sworn to secrecy and your trauma brushed aside as a “childish grudge” or “overreacting”? What happens when you realize how badly you’ve screwed up with your life choices, try and fail to save the one person you love, and are then guilt-tripped into spending seventeen years making up for it? You become bitter. You become angry and vengeful and you take it out on anyone who ticks you off because you’ve never learned a better way. You believe that life isn’t fair and think that everyone has to deal with that fact. You can’t stand anyone who makes your job more difficult, because you’re constantly on the edge of losing it. Especially, you look at the people who remind you of yourself, who remind you of those who tormented you, and deep down, you’re still afraid. Afraid of the bullies. Afraid of yourself. So you take it out on them, so that they can’t hurt you. Because you hate them, and because you hate yourself.

Severus Snape is the cycle of abuse incarnate. He is what happens when we don’t help the victims of bullying and abuse. It. Keeps. Going. He is a testament to both human strength and human limits.

And … that’s my two cents.

Anyone else here find Adam McArthur hella attractive?

I try not to crush on famous people due to the fact it will never happen but I definitely feel like I am crushing on Adam McArthur as of late.

And while on the subject of famous people I have a crush on. This one is non-SVTFOE but I have the biggest crush on Colin O'Donoghue who plays Captain Hook in “Once Upon A Time”.

  • half the trc fandom: gansey is going to die i have fully accepted it and here a joke about it and also very detailed scene of his death and the other characters' grief in my fanfic
  • other half of the trc fandom: nahh psh they'll save him it's fine who said its true? the author? what does she know?
No entry (unless your name is chocolate, ibuprofen, or hot-water-bottle)

Adam walked up to the front door of Taylor’s house, having been away in Vegas for shows over the weekend, and let himself in.

“Tay? Babe where are you?” Adam called out through the house.

He knew she was in because her security had told him, and he had texted her to say he was almost there, expecting her to be downstairs waiting for him like she usually was. Normally he was greeted by a bundle of energy in the form of a tall and lanky woman, usually with some freshly baked treat or freshly cooked meal ready just because she wanted to. But today there wasn’t anybody around downstairs, not even the cats.

Adam walked up the stairs and saw both the cats lying outside Taylor’s closed bedroom door. Normally they were in her room with her, or at least the door was open so they could come and go. Adam knocked gently, thinking she might be asleep or something. She hadn’t replied to his last message which was odd, but he hadn’t really thought about it.

“Babe? Are you sleeping?” He asked quietly, opening the door and seeing a lump in the duvet on her bed.

“Unless your name is chocolate, ibuprofen, or hot-water-bottle I kindly ask you to leave.” Taylor muttered from under the covers grumpily, not lifting her head out from under the covers at all as he sat on the edge of the bed.

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