i am crying because i cannot handle this

 When will the storyline of April being inferior to everyone else end? April is more than qualified for this position. She is a talented surgeon who knows her damn shit. Why do people still think that April got that position because Catherine wanted to start shit? AND JACKSON FUCK YOU FOR THAT! April always defends everyone and gives them a chance? But no one even tried to understand her perspective. I am so happy at how she handled Arizona, Maggie and Jackson, those three are FUCKING cancelled until further notice. APRIL IS A  MOTHERFUCKING BADASS! We are in for a rough couple of episodes Japril fans. I still cannot believe Jackson does not recognize April’s abilities as a surgeon. And When April said to Jackson “And you told them they’re wrong right? Because you know me and you know better right?” I wanted to cry. The one person April thought would have her back was Jackson. And he turned out being a certified asshole.

We all talk about how Jumin is sexy daddy dom 50 shades of Han blah blah.

b ut can we TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF AN EMBARRASSING NERD HE IS?!?!?!?!?!??!?

LIKE

THIS GROWWN ASS MAN SAYS THE CUTEST, MOST AFFECTIONATE THINGS AND MY LITTLE HEART CANNOT HANDLE IT OKAY.

Like with Zen you expect it and it’s great but Jumin is always so serious and the n h e just SAYS HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU AND WORRIES ABOUT YOU AND IS SO EAGER TO MAKE YOU HAPPPY?!??!

“your honey bunny is here~”

I. AM. GOING. TO. CRY.

EVERY OTHER PHONE CALL FROM HIM ENDS WITH ME HIDING MY FACE BECAUSE I AM SO EMBAARRRASSED LIKE JESUS JUMIN JAEHEE MENTIONED MARRIAGE ONCE AND YOU CHANGED YOUR PICTURE TO WEDDING RINGS AND STARTED FANTASISING JUMIN YOU ARE KILLING ME

to summarize:

Jumin Han is a pure, innocent angel with a lot of love that he just wants to shower you in and HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT SO HE PANICS PLZ LOVE HIM AS I DO HE IS DOING HIS BEST.

Dear Taylor,

I think today is the day I first really realize all this. And I really cannot handle it. I lost 4 pounds in the last 10 days because I just don’t have any appetite and any time I try to force myself to eat something, I get the feeling that I need to throw up. I know this is not good and I need to change this as soon as possible.

But right now, I just need to cry whenever I am alone, it just feels like my whole world is falling apart. I don’t want to talk to any of my friends because I know they would act different around me. And I don’t want this. I want everything to be like it was before but I know it won’t. I am just so scared and frightened and sad.
And I need to figure out a way to get through this and especially help my dad to get through this. The cancer can’t be healed anymore, but the chemo can make it stop from growing, if it works out. And I hope it will, because I just don’t want to loose my dad yet. There will be so many times in the future when I need and especially want him by my side. And this fear that he maybe won’t hurts more than I can put into words.

Even if I know that you probably won’t read all this, I figured out that right now it kind of helps me best to put my feelings into words and letters for you. So I will keep doing that, and maybe- you will find out about me someday. Maybe you won’t.

But even if not, I got to know so many incredibly nice people during the last 10 days here one tumblr because of you, who are there for me when I need someone to talk to. Thank you for that, Taylor. @taylorswift