i am confused but amused

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From 0 to Albert Rosenfield in Twin Peaks, how done are you with everybody?

I’m scrolling through tumblr and my fiancé is sleeping next to me, it’s 3:20AM and suddenly he whispers “there’s… too much meat”

I ask him wtf are you talking about and he just continues mumbling about “too much meat”. I’m like are you even awake??? He just answers yea and smiles. It’s quiet for a while and i already thought he had fallen asleep again or whatever, but then i hear a small laugh and “…not enough salad”

bemused-amused-confused  asked:

*curtsies with a flourish* I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Edmund and Edgar's childhood relationship? (From King Lear. Not just random Edmunds and Edgars.) Or parallels between them and Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia? Or just more on Lear in general? P.S. Edmund is also one of my favorites, and your blog is amazing

*Curtsies* WOW okay, so this has been buried at the bottom of my inbox since roughly the dawn of time and @bemused-amused-confused, I am SO sorry. Since you sent this ask I’ve actually talked about Lear kind of a lot (including sibling relationships) and all that stuff is here under the tag. Specifically regarding Edmund and Edgar’s childhood relationship, though: I’m so intrigued by it. Because we know they were close in age: Edmund says he is “twelve or fourteen moonshines lag of a brother,” so they’re almost Irish twins. Gloucester insists he loves them equally (whether that’s true is debatable), which seems to suggest they at least spent the bulk of their childhood in his care, together. But we also know that prior to the start of the play, Edmund has been away from court for nine years, and will be leaving again soon. We don’t get any more information than that, but that’s a significant chunk of time, especially because these two probably aren’t much older than their mid-twenties, seeing as neither one of them is married. So, that leaves us with the tentative hypothesis that they spent their childhood together but were probably separated as young teenagers. There’s a slim possibility that Edgar went with Edmund, wherever he went, because Gloucester does tell Kent that he has another, lawful son, which would imply that Kent hasn’t seen Edgar around court often enough to know who he is. However, we do know that Lear is his godfather, Lear’s daughters seem to have a good grasp of who he is, and there’s even a suggestion that he’s among Lear’s riotous knights before having to flee for his life. (Edmund confirms this, but only about half of what comes out of Edmund’s mouth is true, so that’s something to be suspect of, especially because he’s trying to throw additional suspicion on his half-brother in that particular moment.) What is indisputable is that Edgar trusts his brother. He trusts him enough that he doesn’t need any further proof of his father’s supposed ire than Edmund’s word. That’s a lot of trust to put in a person, and I think it implies that at least as children, they were close. So what happened? Edmund grew up, in a world that constantly mistreated him and reminded him of his inferiority, and that’s a bitterness that Edgar (fatally) does not pick up on. 

But here’s where things get really interesting, because as soon as Edgar learns his brother has betrayed him, he starts using the same demeaning language as everyone else. As Poor Tom he talks obsessively about infidelity, alluding to Edmund’s illegitimacy as the source of his evil, and when he’s finally delivered a fatal wound to him he calls Edmund’s death and his father’s blinding divine justice: “That dark and vicious place where thee he got cost him his eyes.” Edgar buys into the idea of bastardy as an indelible blot on his brother as much as anyone else. 

And here’s the other really interesting thing about Edgar: he’s not as innocent as he seems at the outset, and certainly not as hapless as Edmund takes him for. His plan to disguise himself is fairly ingenious, and he is a skillful enough dissembler than he manages to carry off not only one disguise but three different ones, which fool not only his own father, but his own godfather and his own brother to boot. Look closely at the scene at the ‘cliffs’: Edgar’s manipulation of Gloucester is absolutely masterful. He is not a babe in the woods. He may be the victim of a conspiracy, but he’s hardly incapable of responding in kind. John F. Danby was writing in 1949 but I think he actually summed up the Edgar problem really well in The Doctrine of Nature: “Natural goodness will rive its concealing continent if only we are patient. For Edgar is the machiavel of patience, of ripeness, of God’s ultimate revenges. In the natural sphere there is apparently a duplicity of virtue.” 

So, what does this tell us? You can’t say anything for sure, but I do think you have to allow the possibility that this ability to puppeteer and manipulate and roleplay is not something Edgar figured out over night. If Edgar and Edmund were indeed childhood playmates–and the familiarity of their dialogue and the play’s chronology seem to suggest that they might have been–I’d be willing to bet that Edgar won as many games as he lost. Or if he was constantly struggling to keep up with his brother’s natural cleverness, he undoubtedly learned a thing or two along the way. 

That’s my two cents.

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IH gift exchange for mutsukitooru from scribbles-kun!
prompt: “they get each other the same gift they spent ages pondering over and it’s hilarious”

“If you’re boring and give her flowers and chocolates, Orihime’ll be happy, but I will personally break one of your bones. This is your first Valentine’s Day.”

Ichigo eyed his childhood friend with exasperation mixed with wariness. “So what’s your bright idea, then?”

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What’s that, vintage 80′s calculator watch that conveniently shows the date too? It’s Headcanon Wednesday? 

(Ok headcanon wednesday isn’t actually a thing but it’s wednesday and I’ve got ideas to go on about, so)

So, most of us have seen the fake Marty McFly driver’s licenses floating around that I guess you can order as a prop if you want to. Almost all of these list his middle initial as ‘J’, even though his canonical middle name was later established as Seamus. The out of universe reason for this, afaik, is that it just wasn’t established early on so they just ran with J because, hey-o, Michael J Fox.

(I don’t even want to hear about the 67-draft giving him the middle name Hopkins, A) it was an early draft that bears no resemblance to the actual canon and B) IT’S DUMB, shut up)

So it’s really easy to just write it off as the canon establishing something later that people were guessing at before, but I have A MORE CREATIVE THEORY.

The theory: Marty STARTED OUT with a middle name beginning with J, and his shenanigans in 1955 caused his middle name to change to Seamus.

How can this be? It all hinges on this otherwise throwaway moment:

“Marty. Such a nice name.”

Yeah, it’s a nice name, but you were already gonna name your third kid Marty, so what gives with this moment? 

Here’s the thing. It’s pretty common for parents to switch off naming kids or, if one parent chooses the first name, the other chooses the middle name. 

So picture the original timeline: George names Dave, Lorraine names Linda. When Marty’s born it’s George’s turn again, and he wants to give this kid a family name, and he’s heard the story all through his family of the first McFlys to journey to America, real adventurous bold types, and that feels like a nice legacy to hand to your kid. But when he traces the documents back to his own great-grandfather, the guy was named Seamus. And that’s a ‘weird’ name to saddle a kid with. But hey, Seamus’s brother came with him, and that guy was named Martin, which is a nice normal name, so there you go. Meanwhile, Lorraine picks some generic J-beginning middle name. Maybe someone from HER family, who knows. Voila: Marty J McFly, named after his great-great-great-uncle and some random person in Lorraine’s family.

Now here comes the revised timeline. It’s supposed to be George’s turn to pick a name, but Lorraine is all, hey, remember that kid back in high school who helped us get together? He had such a nice name, and he meant a lot to both of us, so can we go with that? And George is like, sure, but then I get to pick his middle name. And he does the same thought pattern as before, does the same research, but since this is just a middle name and the kid’s less likely to get teased over it, George just goes with Seamus. This time, Marty is named after HIMSELF and his great-great-grandfather.

So, that’s the theory. No, it’s not specifically supported in-universe, and I don’t even always adhere to it myself when I’m writing pre-movie timelines, but I am too amused by the idea of how confused Marty would be the first time, after the time travel adventures, that Lorraine gets pissed at him and whips out his full name.

An original poem, by kmp78.

*clears her throat*

“Once there was an old Finnish hag, 
who started a blog ´cos she wanted to nag.

Naggy set up a guideline or two,
for without ´em life with the echelon is nothing but poo.

Her readers embraced the guidelines with glee, 
and followed each item to a very precise tee.

Until one day someone sent her a comment in French,
and made poor Naggy´s long-suffering ass cheeks clench.

“What is this nonsense?”, Naggy wondered all lost and confused.
I don´t speak French and I am not at all amused”.

Then Naggy remembered, much to her delight,
that she had a friend named @ginie62 who could save her from this fright.

Ginie translated the text to a language Naggy knew,
and then Naggy realized what she had to do.

She dug up the guidelines and made the link attractive and BIG,
so everyone would have no choice but to be intrigued and CLICK.

FOR A SCREEN CAP OF 11 INCHES IN THE FLESH, PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Naggy felt no remorse for dooping the echies so viciously,
in fact she actually giggled on her couch quite deliciously.

The moral of the story is, if you all could be so kind:
please read my god damn disclaimer or I will lose my friggin´ mind.

*takes a bow*

Merry Late Pitchmas

Pre relationship. Chloe forces Beca to watch Frozen and when it gets to the part where Olaf says love is putting their needs before your own, Beca realises that she loves Chloe.

So… uhm… I had this done, I swear but it didn’t post, and ugh. Sorry bout that. Anyways, Merry Pitchmas @threadgoodethebard! Sorry again! I hope you enjoy :)

These movie nights are getting out of hand, Beca decided. 

Surprisingly, she’s not talking about her moviecation with Jesse. That ended around the same time the relationship did her Junior year.

No, Beca is talking about her movie… dates? Can she call them dates? Does she want to call them dates?

She’s talking about her movie sessions with Chloe every Friday night.

Now, don’t get her wrong, Beca doesn’t mind watching movies with Chloe. In fact, Chloe makes the experience less painful and eye gouging.

Every Friday after Beca’s radio shift, Chloe picks her up with Chinese food she had picked up after her last class of the day. They’d drive back to the Bella’s house and lock themselves in Chloe’s room. For some reason, Chloe did actually have a lock on her door. Why she did exactly, was something Beca didn’t want to ask. From there they’d unpack all their stuff and just watch movies all night.

This time though, Chloe had gone too far. Because when Beca had turned to pick out a movie like they usually did, Chloe grasped her forearm and twirled her in a circle. “You don’t need to pick out a movie. I bought one today that I really want to watch.”

Beca frowned. The movies Beca enjoyed, or should she say tolerated, were of a much different genre than Chloe liked. While Beca could sit through a comedy or maybe an old school action movie, Chloe loved romance and musicals. So much so, she would continuously repeat a one liner or a certain song for the next week until the girls would beg for her to stop. So to say that Beca was anticipating Chloe’s choice would be a flat out lie.

But it was Chloe. And when Chloe was giving her that pouty face, like the one she had on right now, Beca couldn’t say no. So together they sat on Chloe’s bed with the laptop on each of their legs while they ate their respective Chinese food. Beca still didn’t know the movie selection because Chloe wanted it to be a secret. She suspected it was because she would veto the idea immediately, but she didn’t question the redhead.

Right off the start she realized it was a Disney movie. That much was obvious by the Disney shorts and kid movie previews. She didn’t quite know the extent of her torture though until the DVD’s main menu came up.

It was fucking Frozen.

“Chloe, we are not watching fucking Frozen.”

Chloe rolled her eyes, “Get over yourself Shorty.” Beca huffed at the nickname, “Besides, you always pick. You can watch what I want for once.”

Beca pouted, “Fucking Frozen…” she mumbled.

Chloe arched an eyebrow, “What was that?”

“Nothing dear!” Beca quickly said.

One Hour Later…

“HANS IS THE VILLAIN? WHAT?!”

Beca sat straight up and gaped at the screen. She didn’t plan to get invested, let alone this invested in a stupid Disney movie.

But seriously, what the fuck? Plot twists up the fucking butt…

Chloe furrowed her brows, “I am… just as surprised as you.” However, behind her confused facade, there was amusement in her eyes.

“Shut it Beale…”

Chloe opened her mouth, as if she’s scandalized, “What! I didn’t say anything!”

Beca squinted at her, “Mmhm…”

They both turn back to the screen where it’s now Anna and Olaf in a room. “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours, like you know how Kristoff brought you back here to Hans and left you forever.” Olaf said to Anna in response to something she’d said before. Chloe cracked up and started to laugh. Beca stared in wonder at the girl.

Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours…

The sentence was banging around in Beca’s head, making her feel dizzy. Or maybe it was the realization that Beca was totally and wholly in love with the still giggling girl next to her.

And suddenly there’s a series of memories flashing before her eyes. Beca about to leave to go hang with Jesse until Chloe bursts in crying after some stupid boy crushed her heart, and then Beca consoling her even though she knew Jesse would be mad. Then Beca sharing her beloved Chinese food order with the redhead after she accidently dropped hers on the floor. Beca going on hikes with the Bellas instead of mixing just because Chloe asked her to.

All these memories and more and swirling in her head.

“Some people are worth melting for,” she hears distantly from the screen.

Then suddenly she’s blurting out, “I’d melt for you.”

Chloe look at her, startled. Then slowly she starts to smile, “Same Shorty.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Beca reaches up and cups Chloe’s face and strokes her cheekbones, “I’d melt for you.” She painfully waits for the coin to drop, and then Chloe’s face lights up.

“You’re professing your love for me by quoting Disney? Beca Mitchell, I must say I’m-”

Beca cuts her off by pressing her lips against the redhead’s. “Shut up,” she mumbles.

Chloe pulls away after a while, “I’d melt for you too, by the way.”

Fortune

Pair: Eric/oc
Rating: T
Notes: An anon requested another scene (anything!) from my “Forgiveness” arc. This combines that with a prompt from ekb1280, who asked for Eric/oc in a power outage when they’re trapped together. I, er, had some fun with this. (Also, for anyone who likes the “Forgiveness” arc there should be a scene called “Forfeit” coming soon that will expand the universe a little.)


The metal of the train is cool at my back and it is a blessed change from the rest of the city. Everything is so hot that it felt like even just stepping outside of the Dauntless compound burns. The air is hazy with heat and humidity, making the typical black clothing we wear an absolute misery.


If we are smarter, we might forego most of it. Or if we were braver.


Eric sets an example that the rest of us are - rightfully - too scared (or too smart?) not to follow. His shirt is sleeveless but he still wears the vest that is exclusive to our faction. They are an Erudite design, I had been told. There is lining that acted as armor over key places like joints and organs.


Right now, I didn’t give a damn. It is hot and I want it gone.

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