i am campaign

mark zuckerberg is inherently incapable of winning the us presidency because his name already contains a syllable that is heart-stoppingly similar to the word “cuck.” if the dems actually run him then somebody with an undercut and a frog emoji in their twitter description is going to start making cuck jokes and those will follow him for his entire campaign. i am telling you this right now, on the 6th of september 2017, and yet i cannot escape the feeling that in 2 years i will find myself caught between the scylla of voting for a man who inspirationally says things like “i am not a cuck” and the charybdis of refusing to vote, moving off the grid, and learning how to take a shit in the middle of a field without getting ticks on my ass cheeks

I am running a campaign where the end boss is a lich necromancer. He is raising the dead and sending them to wreak havoc in a nearby town. I explained to the players that all the dead of the town are rising as undead servants of the lich.

Me: Okay, while you are speaking to the bartender a halfling comes barreling into the tavern and looking very distressed. He goes to the bartender (an ex-adventurer) and whispers something to her frantically. She turns to the party and tells you that Barthen the halfling farmer is willing to pay 50 gold to anyone who can kill the badgers that are ravaging his farm.

(most of the party agrees to help, there are some shenanigans in the bar because the fighter has never seen a tiefling and is convinced that the bartender is a demon-lady)

Me: okay, you arrive at the farm, and you see…

three giant badgers.

Druid: wait giant badgers?

Fighter: I thought they were just regular badgers

Me: they are decidedly not regular badgers. They are in fact, giant badgers.

Fighter: I throw both of my spears at them (the fighter has feats and dual wields spears)

(they eventually kill all three of them after some burning hands hooliganism)

Me: Well done.

Cleric ooc: how much exp do we get?

Me: Well, you’re not done yet.

Druid ooc: What?

Me: As you walk away from the farm, you see movement. You turn to see three giant undead badgers, one of which is on fire.

Druid: I roll to cry.

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Class: Commoner

Perhaps you are looking for a challenge for yourself or your players, or perhaps you would like to add an extra level of storytelling into your campaign. Whatever the reason, I present to you the Commoner Class for Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition!

This class originally started as something I wanted to do for a personal character, but quickly grew into a concept for a campaign I am now working on, and I thought I would share my concept with all of you.

Don’t be afraid to try it out for yourself. There’s a reason I’m posting it here.

Shoutout to @basalt-dnd and @dettan-arts for helping me balance this class out.

So do we summon Satan?

I am playing a 5e campaign with an online group, and we’re just starting up our second session. In the last session we just finished killing a grizzly bear and were about to search the den. We have 4 players, a Paladin (me), a Monk, a Ranger, and a Rogue. The Monk and Ranger go to investigate first, and both roll 6’s before bonuses.

Ranger: Okay, apparently I see jack. Does anyone else want to try?

Monk (OoC): So if one more person rolls a 6, do we summon Satan?

DM: Mmm, we’ll see. Anyone else?

Me: Suuuure. [Paladin] goes into the den to investigate the bones they saw earlier. (also rolls a 6)

The rest of the group starts laughing as I’m yelling out of character, “We summon the deviiiiil! Or Cthulhu!” (Luckily, the DM did not summon Satan on us.)

(Images shared with permission from I Am We Campaign. All credit goes to them!) 

Lana Wachowski has stated today during a Facebook live chat that she is writing season 3, and that she also believes that the fans (US) can create new fans that would translate into more viewers. And get us a season 3 that has been so illusive. There is hope for this! 

With that being said, follow the instructions on this image, and make sure the news spreads far and wide that another full season is possible. Make sure that you instruct people to watch this amazing show, and also give them this summary:

Fun DnD Campaign: Real Estate Agents
  • Your broker is a wise cracking asshole dwarf rogue. 
  • One of your buyers is a secret real estate inspector Orc with lawful good alignment.
  • You kissed your broker’s succubus wife at the office party and now you have to fight him. His assistant is a human paladin, watch out. As a result he wants half of your commission!!!!!
  • Oh no! Your extremely rich elf buyers want this haunted mansion and the other agent is an evil sorceress named Jelena! 
  • You gotta fight like eighty undead during the home inspection and figure out how the close the portal to hell in the basement.
  • You find a golden swam in the upstairs bathroom- your buyers want it, the sellers want to keep it. Oh yeah, another battle. 
  • It’s closing time: your final boss, Jelena who secretly tried to cut your party out of the deal and take your commission. Finish her.
  • You’ve completed your mission and transaction. Your broker fires you for sleeping with his wife, but that’s ok, Jelena’s broker wants to hire you instead. You can either a) join the forces of evil b) try to stay with your company c) start your own firm and get your license. 
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Happy 2nd Anniversary to the #AlwaysKeepFighting campaign! I am so grateful to Jared for starting this incredibly important, inspiring and motivating movement. I know it has made a HUGE impact on my life and the lives of SO many others. Thank you, Jared, for having the courage to speak out and share your own personal struggles with depression. Having someone like you, whom I ook up to, helping to end the stigma attached to Mental Health Illnesses, means more than I could ever express. I hope there will be many more campaigns to come in the future. ✗ &

Because (swoon) I think we need more (wistful sigh) blonde Yama-chan in our lives (whispers ‘yes please’) as the world questions (grumps) the actual color and legitimacy (fury personified) of his glorious (fluttery eyes) blonde hair.