i am bored :)

Weird Human Things

Breastfeeding

Jaal: Human females seem more… Curvy than their male counterparts..

Ryder: Are you asking why we have breasts?

Jaal: …Perhaps.

Ryder: *Laughs* They’re for feeding babies.

Jaal: What?

Ryder: Our mammary glands produce milk for babies!

Jaal:

Baby teeth

Jaal: Humans have multiple sets of teeth?

Ryder: Well, kind of. We’re born with no teeth, we grow a set of ‘baby’ teeth. Then in childhood all those teeth fall out and our permanent set grow in. It can be painful and bloody.

Jaal: That sounds terrifying. 

Static hair

Jaal: Ryder your hair is floating

Ryder: Oh, yeah that happens sometimes.

Jaal: *confused cat face*…What!?!

Blushing

Jaal: Ryder! Your colors are changing!

Ryder: It’s just hot Jaal. Humans turn red sometimes.

Jaal: So, this is normal?

Ryder: Kind of. Blushing can signify distress, but It’s usually no big deal.

Jaal: Distress? Are you not well? 

Ryder: I’m fine Jaal, it’s just hot here 

 *Sometime later after certain saucy scenes* 

Jaal: Ryder, Are you in distress?! Your colors! 

Ryder: *Laughs* No Jaal, I’m fine. 

Freckles

Jaal: Why do some humans have spots while others do not?

Ryder: Spots?…Oh, you mean Freckles.

Jaal: Freckles?

Ryder: Yeah, just genetics. Some human’s just have…spots. *Ryder smiles*

Talk and Walk

Jaal: Why is Liam pacing the ship?

Ryder: He’s on a call Jaal.

Jaal: ??????

Ryder: Oh, human’s like to lap their homes while on calls.

Talking to animals

Pyjak: *squeak*

Ryder: *Squeak!*

Jaal: What are you-

Ryder: Shhh! I’m talking to my child.

Jaal: ?!?!?!

Microwave

*Liam sprints desperately to the kitchen*

Jaal: What’s going on?

Ryder: *dead serious* He has to stop the microwave before it hits zero or it explodes.

Jaal: WHY WOULD HUMANS DESIGN SUCH A FAULTY DEVICE?!?!

Ryder: *Laughing*

Jaal: an…Idiom?

panic! albums

a fever you can’t sweat out: woo sex! we are not even 18 but long words let’s fuck!

pretty odd: we are gay. so much gay. hippies and flowers! hey ryden is so real like what ?

vices and virtues: fuck you ryan i have sarah but i still miss you come back.

too weird to live too rare to die: ryan who? i can’t hear you ryan i have sarah. (still misses him tho)

death of a bachelor: frank sinatra woot woot! i love my wife sarah but i just thought of ryan so i could like write a couple song about him

conclusion: next album will be called “ryan ross”

8

the 100 meme → one season

Season One -  This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind that wall in this ground! Our ground! The Grounders think they can take that away. They think that because we came from the sky, we don’t belong here. But they’ve yet to realize one very important fact: we are on the ground now, and that means we are Grounders!

a bunch of headcanons that literally no one asked for, ever, but here they are anyway
  • lance actually did pretty bad in spanish in school, but knows it fluently still
    • hunk enjoys to bully lance a bit on this bc he got a higher grade even though he knows like ten (10) verbs
    • lance is Suffering™
  • pidge knows a lot of german? no one knew why until they kinda realized that the name holt is actually from german descent and her grandparents spoke german.
  • lance can dance waltz shockingly well?? he’s awful at everything else, but waltz??? damn.
  • keith is the worst dancer there is. does he even understand rythm? no.
  • everyone in team voltron are amazing singers.
    • shiro’s voice is so deep but also so light that just makes you want to listen to him forever, even though he can be pretty self conscious of his singing at first. (just give him some glasses of nunvil and he will be singing wake me up before you go-go all night)
    • lance is so good, but his voice changes a tiny bit when he sings in spanish and its so good. it’s like water, flowing perfectly in an invisible rythm. he’s just. yes.
    • hunk. oh my god, hunk. it’s like honey and tea on a cold autumn night, deep and golden. he loves acapella, especially doing the deepest and most difficult tones there is. lance and hunk used to sing duets together, often musicals, during the garrison. they still do.
    • keith used to sing a lot when he was alone in the shack to get through cold nights and task-less days, so he is good?? like just give him a guitar and you will literally fall asleep to his smooth voice. he can easily do a lot more angry music, but a soft lullaby with his voice is the best way to get you to slumber.
    • pidge. oh my god. alright, so pidge doesn’t enjoy singing that much but she is the best rapper there is. like, daveed diggs level of rapping. her freestyling is to live for. sometimes while the team has formed voltron, you can hear, distantly, a faint voice, rapping away at the speed of light, about literally anything that’s going on. it’s insane.
      • “pidge, how are you doing that” “what” “the rapping??” “uh, words just fly out of my mouth” “what the fuck”
    • ok ok so. allura. we all know she has a good voice. but listen, listen. all alteans’ singing sound like how we imagine sirens. well, not the loud ear piercing one, but the dream-like, soothing one. allura’s voice is golden, silky, smooth. just everything you love into a voice. that’s allura. just. perfection. 
    • ok coran can sing but. no one knows this. what is that angel-like singing coming from the showers??? who is it ? ? we don’t know. 
      • everyone tries to find out. they never find out. 
  • coran has somehow managed to accidentally walked in on everyone in team voltron just as they got out of the shower at least once. 
  • shiro once got hit on by an alien and the voltron team just ended up backing up the alien, thus making shiro completely flustered and overwhelmed with compliments.
  • shoutout to that time allura was too tired to ask someone to grab the bowl of food for her so she just grew out her arm to like six feet and got it herself and freaked everyone out.
    • “what? this is normal.” “NO IT IS NOT WHAT THE FUKC
  • shiro is actually not a morning person. he wakes up at like 4 am so the other guys wont see his awful morning ritual which is basically just drowning five buckets of coffee and a lot of internal screaming.