i am batman

wheres the fic where Clark Kent gets caught kissing Batman, and then gets hounded by the media every waking moment because “average civilian is dating Batman!!” and Clarks mourning the loss of his anonymity, meanwhile Bruce thinks its fucking hilarious, enjoy dealing w the press in both of your alter egos now, pretty boy, so Clark waits several months for the whole thing to die down before showing up as Superman to some party Bruce is attending and flying up to Bruce and going “paybacks a bitch” and just full on makes out with him in front of like a million reporters

  • Dick: I can't do this by myself, I need adult supervision!
  • Bruce:
  • Alfred:
  • Jason:
  • Tim:
  • Damian:
  • Duke:
  • Barbara:
  • Stephanie:
  • Cassandra:
  • Kate:
  • Titus:
  • Literally everyone:
  • Dick:
  • Dick: Oh god
  • Dick: <b><i>I AM THE ADULT SUPERVISION</i></b>
  • Joker: Batman? Pffff, what dumb superhero, I'm totally over hi — [trips] [hundreds of thousands of Batman pictures spill out of tailcoat] What a - what a weirdo, t-these aren't mine, I'm just [gathering them up and frantically sweating] Ok, ok, listen - I hate the guy, l-listen [thousands of Batman pictures scatter across the floor] Oh my gosh, I-I'm just holding them fo-for Harley, oK jUsT LIS T E N
Dating Bruce Wayne Would Include

(Btw I am using the Batman v Superman Bruce Wayne, y’all)

  • Not being entirely sure as to how it all even happened
    • On the off-chance that you’re one of Gotham’s minimal elite, you probably met Bruce at a charity gala and, for some reason beyond your comprehension, he picked you out of the other well-dressed women
    • In the higher likelihood that you don’t come from an affluent family, there’s a multitude of possibilities as to where you met: Maybe you were at a gala working as part of the catering company and he accidentally spilled red wine on you. Maybe you worked as an intern or temp or had a desk job somewhere in the Wayne Enterprise building in Gotham. Or maybe he just saw some assholes giving you a rough time and he stepped in and then offered to walk you home.

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