i am an awkward soul

astralbattles  asked:

You punched your crush??? And then you kissed him??? Icon??? (That sounds hilarious I am Laughing so much ahdjsk)

hhhh h h h h
I SWEAR IT WAS????
AIGHT SO THE CONTEXT TO THIS WAS IS IT WAS THE PRE-PLAY JITTERY THING AND THE LEAD DUDE NOTICED I WAS JITTERY AND TOLD ME TO PUNCH HIM SO I DID
THEN I WENT UP TO MY CRUSH, A S K E D IF I COULD PUNCH HIM, THEN (HEARING VERBAL CONFIRMATION FROM BEHIND ME THAT was in fact not him) I P U NCHED HIM IN THE TUM TUM
AFTER THE SHOW I KISSED HIM LIKE
ON THE CHEEK BC IM SHY isH????

The idea that we must become “something” is so exhausting.

That I need adjectives to become a real person. 

Doctor. 

Lawyer.

Soldier. 

Writer.

That my worth can be spoon-fed to others, determined by little words. Simple little words like pebbles of sand in the palm of an earthling’s hand. Why am I not allowed to just be? Why do I have to be a series of 26 symbols, broken down and molded together to give meaning?

When fronted with the question “what do you do for a living?”, why is it unacceptable to reply with the answer “I live.”

I am so much more than words could ever fully describe. I am a soul. I am a being, made up of endless matter, of awkward legs and blue eyes. I am a soul. I live and I breathe. I laugh. I love. I hate. I envy. I am my seventeen year old self, bright eyed and so beautifully lost and naive. I am the sweat and tears, pressing my body into a small car for a week with nothing more than a few hours of sleep and hope for a better adventure tomorrow. I am the dumb, newly twenty-one year old with old tunes blasting her eardrums and a half empty bottle of cheap vodka pressed tightly between her thighs. I am my mistakes. I am my memories. I am all the places my feet have taken me and all the ones I’ve yet to meet yet.

I am whoever I choose to be. From the first sight I take in once I wake up in the mornings to the last inhale I take this time around on this four billion year old rock we call home.

I am nothing. But I am something. I am everything.

I am time and experiences. Horror stories and fairy tales. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, years. I am memories. I am a soul. 

I AM ME.