i am actually jay

anonymous asked:

I'm pretty sure I'm trans, but I can't help but wonder why I never realized it before. Even after learning the definition I was like "that's not me" but then I hear Chase Ross and Aaron Ansuini's (they're youtubers) stories and it made me realize everything. It's silly but I feel like I'm not completely valid because that's what it took for me to realize who I am. Is this a normal feeling?

Jay says:

It’s actually really common for trans folks to not realize they’re trans until they’ve heard another trans person talk about it. If you only figured out you were trans after hearing someone else describe their thoughts and feelings you’re still valid as a trans person. 

A Brief Appreciation Post:-

Above, @lil-mizz-jay (Very NSFW) I’ve been following this guy for years now, since the old Lil Miss Rarity days when Pinkamina Diane Pie was a thing..
I just wanted to take a moment to say that this person has the kindest and most heart warming personality (from what I’ve seen, they always consider everyone a friend until proven otherwise, or at least that is how I see them in my eyes..) and since i’ve been in quite the rut and I haven’t done any form of Story/Actual Digital artwork/fully rendered art works for the past few years, I wanted to try something different and try to draw the Ponysona, or in Jays case, Zebrasona..
I found myself enjoying working with pencil again and making something that I am actually proud of!
So I want to show my appreciation for Jay, he is an amazing artist, if I ever had the opportunity, I would want to get a commission from him one day or to one day say it to him in person how chill and cool he is!

Next up is, @shinodage (SFW) Much like Jay, I want to take the opportunity to say that Shino is amazingly skilled and has made some art that I have honestly fallen in love with and admire, again if ever I had the opportunity, Shino is someone who I would love to get a commission of one day and maybe say in person how their work is just so lovely and clean (maybe sometimes not so clean, wink wink)
I don’t really know how long i’ve been following them I’ll be honest, but I regret not knowing about them sooner.
I’m not going to ever compare artists or bash on them for anything they do, I just wanted to take a moment and share something that I’ve been so self conscious of and so anxious of ever posting due to the nature of these peoples blogs and/or popularity.. whether this post gets swamped within their notes or posts I don’t quite know, but if you two ever do see this and read all of this..

Thank you both, I love your work and I admire everything you do behind the strokes of your stylus.. if ever I had a goal as an up coming artist, it’s that you would consider a commission if I ever get to that stage in my life. 

The post is done now, my nerves are a wreck because I don’t even know what to say and just did I even say the right thing?
Did I say something wrong?
Am I not supposed to do something like this?


Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight
8,652 words
28,892 words total

Cross posted on AO3

Written for jamkook since she’s been craving some vampire jikook ❤️‍

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

When their leader Namjoon gave him the responsibility of looking after the newest addition of their coven, Jimin had been nervous because he knew it was no easy task. Still, he never imagined things would end up as they did.

Keep reading

of heat visions and foster sisters

I wrote a fanfic! And I actually finished and published it! Huzzah!

Fandom: Supergirl (2015)

Rating: T

Relationship: Kara Danvers/Alex Danvers

Length: 5k

Summary: Kara’s pretty sure she’s got the whole superpowers thing down pat. Flying? Easy. Super strength? Completely under control. The last time she broke a glass was definitely more than a few months ago. What she isn’t prepared for is one pesky little superpower that’s scaring the crap out of her. How is she supposed to deal with the fact that she can shoot fire out of her eyes? And what does Alex have to do with all of this?

Anyway, she’s sixteen the first time it happens.

Read on AO3

❤Giving Love a shot ❤ part 5

Jay: *walks back to the dressing room, and change back to his comfortable clothes*

Gray: yo, you leaving?

Jay: Yea I have something I need to do.

*Jaeha’s pov*

*changed into sweat and a crop hoodie, messy bun hair*

I’m craving a nice a sandwich and some fresh fries, man just the thought makes my mouth watering.

Oh what da heck.

Jaeha: Mr Kim I’ll be back.

Mr.Kim: where are you going miss?

Jaeha: *putting on her chucks* I’m going to get a burger.

Mr.Kim: this late?

Jaeha: it’s only 9:45

Mr.Kim:  would you like to take someone with you at least?

Jaeha: no I’ll be fine, it won’t take long, I’ll give you a call if I am staying out longer. *takes her keys to walk out only to find a figure walking towards her* what are you doing Here?

Jay: I wanted to talk to you, do you have time now?

Jaeha: I am actually on my way out.

Jay: oh *sounding disappointed * maybe another time then. *walking back to his car*

What does he want from me?

Jaeha: *sigh* I’m just going to something to eat and going by the sea… you can come if you want to.

Jay: you sure?

Jaeha: you said you wanted to talk right

Jay: sure

Jaeha: ok, you drive.

* in the car*

Jay: so where are we going?

Jae: *some fast food place*

Jay: you eat fast food?

Jae: why not?

Jay: I thought… you know since you’re…

Jaeha: I’m what? I’m rich that I only eat gourmet food at fancy restaurants?

Jay: well kind of ….yea.

Jaeha: wow

*at the drive thru*

Voice: welcome to ****** how can I help you?

Jay: you want to order it?

Jaeha: Yea *reaches over from the passenger seat to the driver’s side*

Jay: *starting at her bare side from the crop hoodie that’s a few inches from his face, inhaling her lavender scent*

Jaeha: ok I would like two spicy chicken sandwiches plain please, a large fries fresh, a Oreo parfait and a bottle water please.

Voice: would that complete your order?

Jaeha: *looks at Jay*  What would you like?

Jay: uh.. I’m not really sure.

Jaeha: ok, I would like another sandwich, and another water.
In total I would like 3 sandwiches 2 bother of water one large fries, 3 chocolate chip cookies, and one Oreo parfait that will be all and I would like everything fresh please.

Voice: ok your total is ****

Jay: I’ll pay

Jae: I can do it.

Jay: I’m not sure that would be right *pays for the food*

*after getting the food*

Jay: where to?

Jae: the beach

Jay: beach? Why?

Jae: it helps me think easier.

Jay: think about what?

Jae: stuff

*20 minutes later*

Jaeha: ok now you can talk

Jay: talk?

Jaeha: you said you wanted to talk right?

Jay: well I… Like you, quite a lot actually.

Jaeha: I’m flattered but I don’t think the whole relationship thing is for me

Jay: why’s that? Bad experiences?

Jaeha: no , I’ve actually dated one person, Byul’s brother. He passed away four years ago, ever since then It’s…

Jay: look I totally understand it, I might not know exactly how you feel, but I know what it’s like to have someone you love just  suddenly leave you. Like I told you earlier today I dated Yuri for a very long time, and  then one day she just got up and left me for someone else, saying that I was too busy and never had anytime for her.

Jaeha: that’s stupid, didn’t she know what you do for living?

Jay: I guess that’s her excuse, but I was ok with just focusing on my work, and then you show up and got my brain, my focus, and everything all mix up, you’re just different you know.

Jaeha: different? Good different?

Jay: yes, usually princesses are brats and spoiled, but you’re not like that. I have never seen a girl eat two sandwiches, fries and all of that ever in front of me, they always want to protect their images and stuff.

Jaeha: well that’s because they’re not really hungry, I really don’t know why a girl would hide her eating habits or who they are period to someone they like, if they’re going to date he’ll find out anyways. I am not going to have a guy take me out to eat, and for me to buy salad, what if I starved for hours hours waiting for that dinner.

If someone going to date me, they have to take me just how I am; which brings me back to you, I’m not sure what kind of image you have of me, but that image can change if I’m rub the wrong way. Look, I’m sure you’re a cool guy, I mean you’re pretty…good Looking.

Jay: *blushes*

Jaeha: I’m serious, and I’m sure you’d make a great boyfriend but..

Jay: but?

Jaeha: I don’t want to be with someone with a baggage.

Jay: baggage?

Jaeha: the girl from the studio, chances are we would probably have our own problems to deal with, and I’d have to deal with her to, that’s just not really my kind of thing.

Jay: meaning?

Jaeha: I can’t really say anything as long as she’s in the picture. I wish you guys could work out whatever issues you guys have.


We spent a good two hours talking before heading back home.

*days later*

The work’s almost done at the coffee shop.


Jae:*turns around* hey what are you doing here?

SimD: coffee, so that’s the kind of work you do.

Jae: something like that.

SimD: do you want to sit for a bit?

Jae: that’s going to cost you a smoothie

SimD: *smile* okay

*a few minutes later*

Jae: so how’s it going with you guys?

SimD: everything’s fine, Jay’s Woking on a new album.

Jae: why?

SimD: why what?

Jae: you guys always brought him up?

SimD: well uh-

Jae: I’ll rephrase this, how’s everything going with you?

SimD: oh *chuckles* everything is good, jus busy in the studio.

Jae: that’s nice

SimD: you?

Jae: I’m doing pretty good.

SimD: did you guys work things out?

Jae: who?

SimD: you and your friend

Jae: *sigh*….

SimD: it’s that bad?

Jae: it feels like the whole universe is against me actually, nothing goes right.

SimD: I’m guessing you’re not doing as good as you just said.

Jae: it’s the easiest thing to say I guess, same as walking around with a big smile so people would think everything’s okay

SimD: you’re not okay? *sounding concern*

Jae: *chuckles* okay?

SimD: have you ever tell your friend?

Jae: as long as she’s happy I’m okay, if I tell her anything she’s going drag me to more parties.

SimD: drag?

Jae: yea, the only reason I go to these stuff is so that she wouldn’t feel alone, but *chuckles* I’m always ended up by myself.

SimD: what about Jay?

Jae: Jay?

SimD: yeah if you don’t mind me asking?

Jae: your friend have issues, no offense

SimD: like?

Jae: if I see him somewhere alone he’s nice to me, but when he’s around you guys I’m pretty much invisible.

SimD: oh

Jae: I hope things work out between he and that girl.

SimD: you’re not serious are you?  Don’t you like him?

Jae: I don’t want to be in between them , I’ve lost someone I really love, I would give anything to have him back. Maybe they’ll work things out

SimD: you’re jus too Nice.

Jae: I guess so, but either way I’m not going to be in their way maybe things might work out for them

Simon: Jay like you

Jae: I know

Simon: you do?

Jae: yeah he told me

Simon: really?

Jae: yea, he told me that same night on valentines day

Simon: didn’t you leave before the whole thing was over?

Jae: yea, but he went over to my place and talk

Simon: so what did you tell him?

Jae: the same thing I telling you, as long as his ex is in the picture, I don’t want to get mix in it. Too much drama for me.

Simon: can I ask you a questions?

Jae: you just did

Simon:*chuckles* two questions?


Simon: do you like him?

Jae: you can ask me the second question

Simon: that’s the second question

Jae: well never mind the second, what the first?

Simon: Jae, do you have any feelings for him at all?


Simon: so you’re just going to give up like that

Jae: what do you want me to do? They have years of memories I can’t compete with that, somewhere along the way they’re going to realize it

Simon: I honestly gave you more credit than that, I didn’t know you were a quitter

Jae: I am not a quitter

Simon: really? What are you doing now?

Jae: what’s the point of fighting a battle I’m not going to win?

Simon: did you try? If you worry about not having memories with Jay, just create some, as far as I know Jay’s over her and right now it’s anybody’s fight

Jae: I’m not going to fight Simon, I’m in it all or nothing  and this girl looks like trouble, if she tries me it’s not going to be funny

Simon: can you at least try to think about it?

Jae: I’ll do that just for you *smile*

Simon: thank you

Jae: ok now my turn to ask

Simon: oh man

Jae: yeah, you should’ve seen it coming

Simon: ok shoot

Jae: are you seeing anyone?

Simon: that I was not expected

Jae: well?

Simon: shouldn’t you go back to work?

Jae: I’m waiting, don't  be difficult All you have to say is yes or no

Simon: I need to get back to the studio

Jae: ok *smile*  LATER.

I’m one of these people that if I ask you something and you don’t answer it will annoyed the heck out of me. I’m going to find out one way or the other

*few hours later*

Loco: I think we might have to stay here all night because- Jae

Jay: Jae? What is Jae have to do with-

Jae: hey guys

Gray: Jae whats up? Are you here for Ja-

Jae: I’m looking for Simon, is he here?

Loco: Simon?

Simon: can I help you Loco?

Loco: uhm Jae’s here to see you

Simon: Jae?

Jae: hi

Simon: hey what are you doing here?

Jae: to get the answer to my questions

Simon: you’re not serious are you?

Jae: I have no other reasons to be here, so can you just answer me

Simon: *smile* you are something else, okay you win the answer is no

Jae: took you 7hours just to say no, thank you I’ll take my leave now

Simon: wait  you come here for just a simple answer?

Jae: you have no idea what I’m capable of.

Simon: if you can be that persuasive over an answer imagine fighting ove-

Jae: again, I’m not going to fight, good night guys

The others: night

Simon: I’ll walk you out


Simon: you are really something else

Jae: I’ve been told

Simon: I don’t want to see Jay’s face right now.

Jae: you worried too much,  so why Aren’t you dating?

Simon: well

Jae: don’t even think about running away again

Simon: we I haven’t found anyone I want to be serious with

Jae: why not? I’m sure you guys meet a lot of girls at shows and all

Simon: yeah, but not all of us are lucky like Gray or Ja-

Jae: please don’t say it

Simon: true we meet a lot of girls at shows and all, but I want to be with someone who won’t just leave because things are hard or I’m not around.

Jae: I see

Simon: see what?

Jae: nothing, goodnight *gets in her car and drives off*

Simon: *runs his finger through his hair* if Jay wasn’t my friend I’d totally  ask her out  *walks back inside*

Gray: ahem

Simon: what?

Loco: Jae came for you?

Simon: hey I didn’t know that she was going to come

Gray: so what’d you guys talked about?

Simon: nothing important *walks off* 
*that night*

Jae: hi mom *on the phone*

Mom: hi sweety, how you doing?

Jae: I’m good, I just miss you guys

Mom: we missed you to

Jae: how’s dad?

Mom: he’s okay, he actually spent the weekend with me

Jae: awe that’s sweet

Mom: so, your father told me that you don’t want anything for your birthday.

Jae: yea, I don’t think I’m going to be in the mood for things like party

Mom: Jae, I spent the past few months planning-

Jae: mom

Mom: come on, I have many ideas, just listen you might end up liking one.

Jae: *sigh* okay

Mom: ok so I was thinking a 70’s theme with-

Jae: nope, next

Mom: well under water Paradise?

Jae: mom I’m not turning 8 years old.

*after soooo many ideas later*

Mom: can you get any more difficult, last but not least how about a ball

Jae: ball?

Mom: yea, you know with gowns and stuff.

Jae: that’s not a bad idea

Mom: really?

Jae: yea, like a masquerade ball

Mom: ok I’ll start working on it

Jae: mom I didn’t say yes

Mom: you didn’t say no either

Jae: mom

Mom: Jae

Jae: *sigh* in one condition

Mom: that is?

Jae: I pick the colors

Mom: no, you’re going to go with dark colors

Jae: mom its my party, I want it to be black and gold

Mom: and I said no

Jae: mooom

Mom: don’t mom me, not a black party

Jae:*sigh* okay well good night

Mom: are you mad ? You’re going to call your father aren’t you?

Jae: good night mom. *hangs up the phone and calls dad*

Dad: hello

Jae: Dad, can you tell mom that I don’t want a colorful rainbow party

Dad: “honey, Jaeha said that she doesn’t want a colorful party”

“Tell her I’m not throwing a black party”

Dad: you heard her

Jae: daddy I’m serious, it’s my party can’t I at least have it how I want it?

Dad: look I’ve had a long day both of you need to work something out okay, now go to bed Jaeha

Jae: night, love you dad

Dad: night night love you to

“Night Jaeha”

Jae: GOOD NIGHT MOTHER *hangs up*

Great it’s probably going to be a fairy party, just what I need more things to think about, but anyways.

*next day*

My day was going extremely well until I got a little visit from an unexpected guest.

Yuri: can I talk to you for a minute?

Jae: who are you?

Of course I know who she is

Yuri: who I am isn’t really important right now

Jae: okay, what do you want?

Yuri: I want you to stay away from Jay

Jae: excuse me?

Yuri: if it’s money you need here *throws a couple of large bills to Jae’s face* take these and stay away from Jay

I have never been so insulted in my life

Jae: listen-

Yuri: no you listen, if I ever see you in the same building as Jay I’ll make sure you regret it for the rest of your miserable, cheap, gold digging life. *walks away* 

Someone please tell me what in thee fuck just happened.

Originally posted by jayfatuasian