i am actually embarrassed to post this

spice up those coffee shop AUs
  • sure, i used to be a regular, but i literally haven’t been to this coffee shop in two years. how do you still remember my order??
  • you wrote my name down wrong the first time i came here and i didn’t correct you, but you’re really sweet and now i don’t know how to tell you you’ve been calling me by the wrong name for the past month.
  • i’m the manager and one of the other employees keeps drawing amazing art on the chalkboards, but i can’t figure out who it is?? i’ve been keeping a meticulous schedule to figure out whose shift it appears during
  • i work opening shift, but whenever i get there at 5:30 somehow you’re always already there, looking flawlessly put together. you haven’t even had your coffee yet. tell me your secrets.
  • we’re coworkers but we work different shifts and communicate exclusively through post-it notes. maybe i should just give you my phone number already so you can tell me more about the lady who ordered a latte for her ten year old.
  • you and your friend always sit at the table a couple down from mine and gossip in [insert language here], which happens to be a language i’m currently learning. i’ve been eavesdropping to try and improve my listening comprehension and oh my god are you actually talking about how hot i am??? 
  • i love hot chocolate So Much but it’s embarrassing to be the adult ordering hot chocolate at a coffee shop, so do you think you could announce that it’s a different drink when you’re giving it to me??
  • at the local coffee shop, there’s a chess set set up in one corner of the shop and every morning i move one piece. later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. i’m dying to know who i’m playing against.
  • i’m a new hire and you’re trying to show me how to use the espresso machine. i actually already know how to use it, but i’m pretending to be incompetent so that you’ll keep talking to me. please don’t fire me.

“For what it’s worth, I’ve been a cynic for as long as I can remember. Everyone’s always asking me to believe in things– family, gods, kings, myself. It was often tempting until I saw where belief got people. So I said no, thank you to belief. And yet here I am. I believe in you. It’s embarrassing, really. I’d swear you my sword, but I don’t actually own a sword.”


I was tagged by @nctreacting a few times for the bias selfie tag, i think that’s what its called? But yes thank you Flo for tagging me, and sorry it took me so long to do this bc i’m a shy bean. I mean idk, i guess this is my face? I can’t choose one bias because i’m a hoe like that, so i’d like to take this opportunity to sandwich myself in between my two biases Jaehyun and Ten. 

I’d like to tag my other hoe @cremethorns, Sheep aka @chipsandwaffles (if you don’t take the opportunity to post a picture of an actual sheep then i’ll delete you. Or you can post yourself ofc ☺️) @chani-babe, @yoonohsdimples@frxggi, @inseong-youngbin-hwiyoung-dawon and anyone else who wants to do this. Its optional of course!

*Best Friend’s Sister* Peter Parker x Reader


Summary: Peter has a huge crush on Y/n. He longs to admit his feelings, so what is stopping him? Maybe the fact that Y/n is his best friend, Ned’s, twin sister. (Mutual Pining + ‘Lil Angst)

Word Count: 1295

Notes: Hope this was alright! I kinda cringed at my writing in this, but oh well. Thank you for requesting!

Status: Unedited.

Originally posted by spiderholland

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Some More Notable Bioware Character Who Share Voices


So I made a post before and actually reblogged it with these updates, but I’m not overly familiar with the finer workings of Tumblr posts and apparently nobody saw it because I am continuously getting messages that Mark Meer and others are not on the first part. Hopefully this helps!

(kinda embarrassed I forgot Claudia Black in part 1, I had hers on my list but completely overlooked making her picture )

(also I know that Jon Curry voiced both Zevran and one of the Male Inquisitors, but I did not include because both characters are only in Dragon Age and not one of the other two)

(also Star Wars The Old Republic characters are not included on the list simply because I have not experienced the game, I’m not familiar with the characters in question, and I don’t want to get them wrong. Sorry!)

Claudia Black - Morrigan (DAO, DAI), Daro’Xen vas Moreh (ME2, ME3), Matriarch Aethyta (ME2, ME3)

Simon Templeman - Loghan Mac Tir (DAO, DAI), Dr. Gavin Archer (ME2, ME3), Han’Gerrel vas Nema (ME2, ME3)

Kimberly Brooks - Ashley Williams (ME1, ME2, ME3), Lanaya (DAO)

Steven Barr - Urdnot Wrex (ME1, ME2, ME3), Dulin Forender (DAO)

April Banigan - Khalisah Al-Jilani (ME1, ME2, ME3), Delilah Howe (DAII)

Brian Bloom -  Varric Tethras (DAII, DAI), Darner Vosque (ME3), Leske (DAO)

Wendy Braun - Gianna Parasini (ME1, ME2), Felsi (DAO)

Mark Meer - Male Shepard (ME1, ME2, ME3), Jethann (DAII), Athras(DAO)

forcearama replied to your post “Zobaczyłam, że zreblogowałaś “Recurring Theme: Elevator Bromance” i…”

OK so I actually ran this through Google Translate (oh my many Polish ancestors would be so embarrassed for me) and I AM DYING BECAUSE THE TRANSLATION IS SO BAD

Oh my god i had to check and

as;ldka;lksd;alskd;alskdl;as;dksa;d oh my god this is SO BAD  i’m crying, how, HOW DID gOOGLE FUCK IT UP SO BAD


@yol-ande you need to witness this

is it the capslock?? yol-ande’s ask is translated more or less accurately.

For curious, what I actually wrote was


Keith and Lance volunteer to test out an aphrodisiac ...

… in a way that backfires spectacularly. An inversion of the sex pollen trope wherein both parties are well aware of what they’re getting into, have great fun for at least the first little while … and then reality sets in. 

Or, that sex pollen thing except done supremely awkwardly and with only a little bit of vaguely described sexy times? (Potentially NSFW, but again, nothing really happens here except lots of complaining … sorry?) 

What, why? No, c’mon, man, I can’t …” Lance whined, stretched out on the bed, his long, lean body on full display, sweaty and naked — great things that Keith was normally all about on a good day. Really, two years with Lance had brought on so many wonderful, occasionally irritating, but also amazingly good days.

This was not a good day.

This was shaping up to be one of the worst days ever.

“Lance,” Keith said, and maybe he was whining too — he had no shame at this point. He had no energy to be ashamed. “I just … why did you agree to this?

Keith sprawled out next to him, careful to keep his bare skin from touching Lance’s, since that would only lead to madness. Further madness that he literally had no ability to commit to right now.

“It wasn’t like I was alone in that room?” Lance turned his head sluggishly, his hazy blue eyes narrowing. He looked like a drunken disaster (no doubt Keith did as well), and his hair was sticking up all over, and his lips were bitten red, and Keith felt that demanding urge again, but also fiery frustration because he was too freaking tired.

“You were there too!” Lance complained. “You heard the same science I did! You signed on the dotted line —“

“We didn’t actually listen past the all-day marathon part of the science, and you damn well know it.”

“Well, what the cheese, dude? If you knew we were being dumb, why didn’t you stop us?!

“You just answered your own question — I was being stupid, and I wanted to …” He lifted a hand limply, barely a few centimetres off the wrecked bed, making a half-hearted gesture at both of their naked bodies. “Yeah.”

“Use your words, Keith. We just banged six times in five and a half hours — you can actually say ‘sex’ right after we’ve had it, okay?”

“Fine,” Keith groaned out. “Sex. We both wanted to have lots and lots of sex, except this isn’t anything like … Holy crap … I want so badly —“

“Right?!” Lance closed his eyes, inhaling sharply. “My body physically can’t handle this anymore, but it wants to at the same time? Why didn’t they program some, I don’t know, science-y stuff that keeps you from pulling a damn muscle?” Keith could see Lance wincing as he massaged his left thigh. And then he shifted his gaze quickly because nope, no way, not again.

“And the chaffing!” Keith stared at the ceiling despairingly, feeling burning along his skin in truly awkward places. “Apparently, that’s something else they didn’t … Lance, I change my mind — this is all your fault. You were the one that raised your hand … I’m an innocent victim that got swept up —”

“It’s been almost six hours. We can do this. It’s only another twenty.” Lance ignored Keith’s accusations while staring down at his own body. “Except we are not spending those twenty hours having sex. We are done for today.”

“So what do you want to do then? Tell them we give up?”

“Um, no? I refuse to walk out of here with a boner and a ‘yeah, no more sex for me.’ That’s wrong on many levels — I can spend the next twenty hours explaining to you how it offends me on multiple counts.”

Author’s note: I am so sorry, I have no idea where this came from! *blushes* If y’all actually like this shameful piece of writing, I’ll add more to it and post it as a one-shot on my AO3 profile … If the embarrassment doesn’t get to me. *ducks under desk*

A demon…. 

                     Or a human

“I’m fine either way, as long as I can protect my friends.”

DAY 3284(i) Jalsa, Mumbai                  Mar 25,  2017                  Sat 11:44 am This is what I express in the early hours of my waking .. waking to discover the absence of the Blog for universal exhibition .. the absence of pushing the right buttons due to sleep induced, tablet incurred medication .. and on reading what has gone out as some utter rubbish .. !! It is embarrassing .. it is regrettable .. it is filled with hand folded apology .. and a desire to perhaps make amends by thei (i) posting to compensate for the utter not conscious bilge that you all have been subjected to .. including those pictures .. Actually, it was late .. which is nothing strange or new .. it is a natural phenomena with your Blogmaester .. blogmaester .. ha .. a new expression .. wonder what it means .. just came out .. hang on need to check with Googlistan  ..!! “Maesters, formally known as the Order of Maesters, are an order of scholars, healers, and learned men in the Seven Kingdoms. Due to their scientific and intellectual pursuits, they are sometimes referred to as "the knights of the mind". Maesters are scholars who act as physicians, tutors, and advisors to the noble houses of Westeros. Upon completion of his training, a Maester swears to serve the castle he is assigned to, whoever may hold the castle. Maester resembles the English word master in both form and meaning. The original meaning of the English word is "a male teacher or tutor," and one of the primary duties of a maester is to teach the children of the house.” And this explanation is bearing even greater embarrassment ..NO .. I am none of the above .. delete it from your minds .. remove .. just let it be .. was never even discussed or portrayed  .. Back to sanity .. So yes I won an award for the most stylish Star of the Millennium given by the HT organisation .. HT, Hindustan Times, the vast media empire owned by the Birla family, one of the respected strains of the Birla maester, Shri GD Birla, founder of this great business world, and managed and run by his grand daughter, Shobhana Bhartia, daughter of KK Birla, the son of GD Birla .. and dear family friends from the time of their association with Babuji, my Father .. the families also being very closely associated with cultural activities of the nation, with literature and poetry and the fine arts .. and their respect towards my Father and his works .. SO .. the award of the Millennium .. which is slightly incongruous .. a millennium is a 1000 years .. and the film industry is a 20th century phenomena .. for some one to have been a style candidate for this award would have had to be living for over a millennium, a 1000 years .. !! Now that is serious living .. and one that shall ever elude all of us .. ! So ha cum ..?? Well it is over and done .. thank you HT and thank you for the life you give me of a 1000 years .. and thank you mostly for giving me the utmost pleasure and joy of meeting and being in the company of the other members of the fraternity .. a rarity these days .. I mean , how often does one sit in close proximity with - Ajay Devgn, Kaajol, Rishi Kapoor, Neetu Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Shraddha Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Alia Bhatt, Siddharth Malhotra, Karan Johar, Sushant Singh Rajput, Randhir Kapoor, Jeetendra, Ramesh Sippy, Parineeti Chopra, Varun Dhawan, John Abraham, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Taapsee Pannu, Rani Mukherji Chopra, Asha Parekh, Manoj Bajpai, Jackie Shroff .. and I hope I have not missed any out .. a host of many more .. and within 10 feet of each other .. !! that is miraculous .. !! and a huge privilege .. !! And that is quit a hand full ... Amitabh Bachchan

I was bored in class, secretly scrolled through Tumblr and saw a very funny post so I had to laugh. Really hard.

The thing is I sit alone in the last row, don’t have someone to talk and am actually really shy. So everybody looked at me laughing suddenly alone like a maniac over “nothing”. They are afraid of me now…


Originally posted by thegifofthemagi

10moonymhrivertam  asked:

I feel like it is relevant to your interests to know that Failbetter Games has a game called Sunless Skies in development. Steampunk Victorians IN SPACE

This sounds fascinating so I had to do a bit of research because I need a break from cataloging books: Apparently Sunless Skies is a sequel to a game called Sunless Sea, which Wikipedia describes thusly:

Sunless Sea is a survival/exploration roleplaying video game with roguelike elements developed by Failbetter Games. […] The game takes place in the universe of Failbetter’s browser adventure game Fallen London, in which Victorian era London has been moved beneath the earth’s surface to the edge of the Unterzee, a vast underground ocean.

It has pretty good reviews over on Metacritic, and the sequel Sunless Skies you mentioned is currently on Kickstarter (until 3 Mar 2017) and has blown past its funding goal. So, cool?

I feel it’s important to note that 1) I am not endorsing said Kickstarter because all I did was give it a cursory glance, nor have I donated to it, 2) I am not really a desktop gamer because my laptop is bad, and 3) I am so super-behind on playing games, guys, it’s embarrassing. No, really: I have yet to finish Pokemon Pearl and HeartGold (the most recent ones I bought), I have been playing Tales of Symphonia on-and-off for over a decade and haven’t finished yet, and I actually own Portal and haven’t even touched it yet. But I’ll keep this one in mind for when I have better time management and laptop power.

And because this got me thinking about games: for anyone interested in desktop games, @prokopetz (whom you may recognize as the OP of several sci-fi posts, and at least a couple alien-free Friday ones too) has a video game recommendations tag that is fun to read through. Happy Sunday, y’all.

Neighbors - Rafael Barba x Reader

Author’s Note: Um… I can explain. I’m a Spanish minor at NYU, and I’m latina, but I am far from fluent. So I made a little joke about getting extra credit hours for Rafael Barba fanfiction, and my best friend gave me a prompt. And now here we are. I’m not actually a writer or anything, and I’ve never posted original content on tumblr before, actually, but I spent an embarrassing chunk of my morning doing this. So… enjoy, I guess (I hope)! 

*Translations at the end! 

Warning: I am bad at formal commands. And Spanish. And English, a lot of the time.

“Mamí! Sé que está ahí!”

His knuckles rap against the wood of the apartment door for the third time. He huffs his cheeks, taps his foot and checks his watch, almost ritualistically at this point. 

You hear the noise from your own apartment, only one door down from sweet Mrs. Lucia Barba. Why would anybody be harassing that kind woman? 

 Your curiosity brings you to open your own door, to see this person for yourself. You swing it open and step out, finding an extremely regal, and frustrated, looking man. The bags under his eyes and his expensive looking three piece suggest to you that, whoever he is, he’s important.

Keep reading

Sorey: @aruarudayo
Mikleo: @koreanmermaidpuke
Photo from @makkura-taichou

I was at Katsucon this weekend and had an amazing time! I don’t usually like posting photos of myself but I worked for two months to make this cosplay and want to show off ( *`ω´)

Back in June or whatever I instantly fell in love with Sorey’s formal outfit from Tales of Asteria so I went to one of my best friends and was like “so what if we cosplay formal Sorey and White Day Mikleo and go to the Katsucon ball” and we somehow pulled it off. My friends weren’t going to the ball so we shot some pictures of us dancing together by the waterfront for them, though this one is actually a candid photo of us goofing off hahaha

I discovered I don’t have full body pictures of myself on me but when I find some, I’ll post those too. If anyone saw me at Katsucon and took pictures let me know!

thattimetheykissed  asked:

OK I see in Three Words where Scully might be mouthing "It's yours." That was awesome! Thanks for mentioning that! Where in Fight The Future does Mulder say I love you?

OK: I’m DYING about this post I made coming back after like, almost 2 years! I made it right after I discovered the X-Files fandom on Tumblr (and tumblr in general) and I was so excited that this was basically me:

Originally posted by just-for-grins

This post is so damn giddy and embarrassing but it’s reminding me of that enthusiasm (also Pre-learning that almost everyone hates IWTB–I didn’t at this point) and I am living! LOL

As per Scully: I actually did a blind test where I showed my husband and 2 other girlfriends who do not watch the show those few seconds and only those few seconds. Each one easily identified the words “It’s yours.” Now whether that was Gillian or Scully, scripted or not, she says it and no one can convince me otherwise.

The rest of the quotes are definitely open to interpretation. In Fight the Future, Mulder shakes his head quickly and mutters something immediately after Scully says, “I had you big time.” I’ll leave that one up you to decide ;). 

Additionally: These 2 other secret-words-happy-little-head-canons came to my attention after this post and they could be (in my mind are) more Mulder ‘I love you’ s:


And Deadalive:

Conspiracies within conspiracies, I tell you. 

@the anon who has been sending @d–oki all these messages about me ‘reblogging my own caps’, let me make one thing clear. Never in my life have I reblogged anything of mine. I would’ve ended this here but you apparently sent two messages to her (this and this) and it pisses me off so fucking much to see this. it’s embarrassing and humiliating, and it’s hurting my pride and I’m unfortunately a very prideful person. I don’t care if I sound like an asshole rn, cuz I am and Im going to stick up for myself before anyone actually misinterprets this. plus im glad Lyric is so understanding and she handled it so well so screw you for trying to tarnish my name because I’ve got wonderful people around me, and everything she said was so genuine and true and there is no reason for me to write this post except for the fact that I am a disgustingly prideful being and I do not like the idea of being mistaken.

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anonymous asked:

how many followers do you have??? you deserve so many ^^

Awwww! So nice of you to say this but honestly, I am almost embarrassed to talk about it since I actually don’t have that many followers (/ω\) Most of my followers haven’t been active in ages, then there are quite a lot who are just lurking in the background XD However, I do have an extremely loyal “core fanbase” of roughly 30 people. They are my precious babies who keep liking and reblogging my posts. I am forever grateful for their continuous support! *group hug*

For the longest time I have been considering moving to another platform in order to reach a broader audience and to get more exposure but really, I have no idea where to go. The Kalafina fandom on tumblr may be small but everyone is so lovely, I wouldn’t want to abandon this.
Oh well, right now I wanna focus on making this blog better. There are a couple of issues I am trying to tackle at the moment. With any luck, they will be dealt with soon!

Embarrassed ¿

Based (y/n) off Jada sezer. Requested, hope you like it. And sorry the ending is so shitty, but I promised to post this. please enjoy


“alright, that’s all for today, great job (y/n)” the photographer, Evan spoke as we just finished our shoot. Evan worked for a magazine, and as an ‘on the rise’ star, they wanted more information about be, so we did an interview and then the shoot.

I was new to the singing world, and fame and everything. I was always so nervous to ever pursue singing cause singers you see today, they’re a lot smaller than me. I was a little heavier than most, but I finally got my confidence after so many people said that ‘I was beautiful’ and ‘it’s not about your weight’ and mostly the only thing people ever said to me were about my singing, and how beautiful I was.

I also had my boyfriend Nate, to thank for being so confident with myself and my body now. Despite getting bullied in high school, when I moved out to LA, I met Nate at a concert, and afterwards we stayed around a bit more and drank some and just really hit it off. We started to talk more and hang out more after the concert and then like 3 months later he introduced me to his family as his girlfriend and that was the start of our relationship. Now here we are 5 months later, happy as ever.

I loved his family so much. They were so sweet, and his sister was like my little sister. I constantly texted her and called her and we always had plans whenever Nate would go to the studio or out with the boys.

I never met Nate’s friends, but I knew of them. I saw snapchats of them and pictures of them with fans all the time. He also would talk about them a lot. Nate also never asked me to go out with him and his friends. And at first I thought, maybe he just doesn’t want me to come around, not knowing how this is going to work out with us, but we’ve been together 5 months now and still nothing.

Nate was actually at the studio now, but he said he was coming over soon and we were gonna hang out, go out to the movies and then come back to mine for the night.

I was just getting ready when Nate called me.

Hey babe.

‘hey ma, I’ll be over soon, like 15 minutes, will you be ready by then?’

Yeah, I’ll be ready by then.

‘okay good. I’ll see ya in a few, love you’

Love you too Nate.

And with that I hung up and finished getting ready. I threw on some jeans, and rolled them up a bit, so they were cuffed right above the ankle, and then a denim like button up shirt. I curled my hair and put on some chukka low vans and by the time I was done Nate was already at my door.

“hey ma.” He smiled, placing his hand on my waist and kissing me. We pulled apart and I smiled at him.

“hey babe.”

“you ready to go?”



The movie was great. I couldn’t stop laughing, and I hated my laugh. Not many people were there, and people hardly recognize us. You see, Nate and I hadn’t really told anyone about our relationship. We wanted to keep it lowkey until we were sure how long we would last, but after 5 months I was more than ready to tell everyone about us, but Nate always seemed a little uneasy about that.

Yeah, I had my doubts on his reasons why. My first thought was that because of how big I am, compared to all the other girls that are like, in love with Nate, and he was embarrassed about that. And the one time I mentioned it to him, he flipped.

He told me that he just didn’t want everyone in our business, which I totally get. But sometimes I saw pictures people posted of them and their boyfriend or girlfriend showing them off, and I wish Nate and I would do that.

We were walking to the car, hand in hand when Nate suddenly let go of my hand. I looked up at him and he wasn’t looking at me, he was actually walking far off to my side, and then he started to walk faster.

“Nate, what are you doing?”

He turned and looked to me and then dug in his pocket, handing me the keys.

“here babe, go start the car, I’ll be there in a second.” He said, looking around and then coming and kissing my forehead. “love ya.” And with that he ran up to a group of guys, throwing his arms around two different guys shoulders. I could hear him yell.

“wassup guys.”

“yo skate, what’s up man?” a tall blonde said, bro hugging Nate.

His fucking friends. These were his fucking friends he hasn’t introduced me to yet. Unbelievable. This was the best time too. We were out and they just happened to be right there. He could have walked up with me and introduced me, but he didn’t. And it’s obvious why. Looking at the group of guys, they seemed all the same. Shallow. The blonde literally whistled at a stick with fake tits and a big ass, watching her walk my way.

His eyes met mine and he smiled, and then turned back around to all the other guys.

I was so pissed I went to the car. I sat and waited for 10 minutes before finally getting in the driver seat and just going home. I was over this. Yeah sure, I wasn’t a stick thin model like girl, like the type that him and his friends seem to be into, but still.

I texted Nate once I got home, telling him to find another ride, and that he can pick his car up from mine. He texted me back a half hour later, freaking out.

From Nate: wtf (y/n), I was getting ready to come to the car.

To Nate: sorry, but after like 15 minutes, I didn’t wanna wait any longer. Plus, wouldn’t want your friends to see me in the passenger seat.

From Nate: wtf is that about?

To Nate: you know exactly what I’m talking about. Just, your keys are in the car still, so whenever you get here don’t bother coming in.

I wasn’t gonna text him back the rest of the night. I was so over his bullshit. He knew how I felt about myself, despite the confidence he helped me gain, he also did a little to bring me right back down. He fucking knew.

I was laying on the couch, watching a movie when I heard a car pull up, a door open, some slight conversation, unable to tell what they were saying, just muffled voices and then a door close. I was waiting to hear Nate’s car start, but my front door swinging open was quite unexpected.

“(y/n), what the fuck” Nate asked, standing in my doorway. I got up from the couch and turned to look at him.

“did you have a nice time with your friends?” I scoffed.

“yeah, but seriously? What the hell? Why did you leave?”

“why did I leave? Are you seriously asking me that?”

“yeah? What the fuck’s your problem?”

“my problem? Nate tonight we saw your best fucking friends, and you couldn’t even introduce me to them. We’ve been together 5 fucking months and you haven’t even introduced us, and it’s pretty obvious why.”

“I was going to introduce you to them.”

“bull fucking shit. That’s why you told me to go wait in the car. Seriously Nate.”

“You don’t get it (y/n)”

“get what Nate? You’re fucking embarrassed to be seen with me. Admit it. Just cause I’m not as thin as the fucking skanks you guys are used to.”

“don’t fucking stand there throwing shit at me.”

“you’re not even denying that you’re embarrassed. If you don’t wanna be seen with me, why are we even together Nate?”

“cause I love you.”

“obviously you don’t if you won’t even introduce me to your friends.”

“we’ve been over this, we were waiting to tell people.”

“bull shit. It’s been 5 months Nate. I met your family, and they had no problem with me, or my size.”

“okay, yeah fine. I don’t want my friends knowing about us. That’s the main reason. You’re right.”

“get out.” I scream. I was fucking done.

“no, it’s not like that. Let me ex-“

“no, get the fuck out of my house Nate. Don’t fucking bother coming back either. I’m so over your shit. You knew exactly how I felt about myself, and you fucking made it worse. Just leave.” I said, turning and going upstairs. “I’ll put your shit in a box and set it outside, you can get it whenever.” And with that I made it up to my room and slammed my door.

I heard my front door slam, knowing Nate had left, but I stayed in bed, crying. I couldn’t believe this. All the times he said I was beautiful, and that my weight or size didn’t bother him. All of it. A lie. I must have cried myself to sleep, cause I woke up the next morning, feeling like shit.

My eyes were swollen, my nose was stuffy, and I just felt like laying in bed all day. Unfortunately I couldn’t do that though. I got up and got ready, showering and getting dressed and then heading out for some errands. I had to stop by the studio, my producer wanted me to come in for some sort of meeting about a collab.

Deciding on getting Starbucks before, I drove to the studio, parked and then walked to Starbucks, since it was only a 5 minute walk. Once I got in there, I noticed the line was a little long, but I had plenty of time.

I heard the bell chime, signaling that someone had just walked in. I turned and saw the blonde boy from the other night, Nate’s friend. We made eye contact and he smiled at me, and then stood behind me in line.

“excuse me” he spoke, causing me to turn around and look at him.

“hi” I said, awkwardly.

“You’re (y/n) right?”

“yeah, and you are?”

“oh I’m Sammy.”

“nice to meet you.” I smiled.

“yeah, you too. I think I saw you last night, but I wasn’t entirely sure,  it was a little dark, and I was a little high.” He laughed.

“oh yeah, I thought you looked familiar.” I smiled.

“well yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re really beautiful, and you have a killer voice. Crazy talent ma.”

“thank you so much. It means a lot” I smiled. Having a stranger call me beautiful made me feel so good about myself.

“no problem. I mean, I just speak the truth.”

“well thanks Sammy.”

“yeah. I don’t wanna be to upfront, but would you mind if we went out later? Drinks? My friends and I are going out downtown, and I’d really like to spend more time with you, plus, I saw you on Jimmy Fallon, and you seem hilarious.” He chuckled.

“um, yeah sure, I could use a drink.” I laugh.

“awesome. Here, give me your number and I’ll come get you later.”


We exchanged numbers, and when we got our drinks, we sat and drank them together, talking more. I felt so bad about thinking he was shallow. He was actually really sweet after talking to him, and he kept saying sweet things like ‘you’re beautiful’ or ‘I like when you smile’ and just sweet things like that, that made me feel so much better about myself.

“oh shit, I gotta go.” I said, standing up. “I’ve gotta go meet with my producer. It was really nice meeting you Sammy.”

“likewise. I’ll see ya later ma.”


Sammy and I had been texting all day. He kept talking about how excited he was for tonight. He said all his friends loved my music and they’ve been wanting to meet me because I seem so funny and chill.

And Sammy couldn’t get over the fact that I was doing a song with MGK. He was literally freaking out. Telling me that when we record, I have to invite him to the studio so he can meet MGK finally. I told him I’d see what I can do.

Sammy was actually on his way to get me. He said he should be here in about 5 minutes. So until then I was in my kitchen, working on my drink I made earlier. Just vodka and pink lemonade. Sammy texted me and told me he was here, so I swallowed down the rest down and walked out to the uber, sliding in next to Sammy.

We talked on the way to the bar, but were interrupted by my phone going off every 3 mintues. Nate texting me, calling me, anything to try to reach me. Nate was calling again, but I just let it ring.

“you’re not gonna get that?” Sammy asked.


“it might be important. Your phones been going off all night, and it’s barely even started.”

“it’s just my boyfriend.”

“and you’re not answering because…?”

“we kinda got into a fight.”

“over what?”

I sighed, and looked down at my hands in my lap.

“we’ve been dating for 5 months, and we haven’t told anyone besides his family.”

“why not?”

“at first, just for personal shit, like privacy from media and stuff, but then I was ready too, but he didn’t want too. And last night we fought over how he’s embarrassed to tell his friends and stuff because he’s embarrassed by me.”

“why would anyone be embarrassed to be with you? You’re gorgeous.”

“I guess my size just embarrassed him. He didn’t want his friends to know he was with someone so big.”

“(y/n) look at me.” Sammy said softly, taking my hand in his, causing me to look into his eyes. “he’s an ass. You’re beautiful, despite what he thinks, or his friends. He should be happy to be with you. Hell, I’d die to be your boyfriend. You best believe I’d be showing you off. I’d be proud of you. It’s not about size or beauty even. I can tell you’re a great person, and if he’s to stupid to see that, it’s his loss.”

“thanks Sammy. It really means a lot. It’s just been so hard to ever feel beautiful, but then with him I feel so great, but he does shit like, hide me from his friends because of my weight and stuff, that make me feel worse.”

“well, I say, fuck your ass of a boyfriend, let’s get drunk.”

We got out of the uber and headed inside. Stopping at the bar and getting some drinks, and then heading to Sammy’s little ‘vip’ area him and his friends had. We walked in, and everyone started cheering.

“guys, this is (y/n) you know the singer.”

“oh my god, you’re beautiful. I seriously love you.” A boy with longer hair said.

“thank you” I laughed, overwhelmed with everyone talking at once.

“I’m Kenny by the way.” He smiled.

“nice to meet you.”

I sat by Sammy, and talked to everyone, cracking jokes, and we were all just having a good time. I wasn’t even bothered by Nate’s problem anymore. All these guys, and the like 3 girls that were here, that were all way smaller than me, made me feel so good. The girls said they wish they looked like me, and that made me smile.

“yo, what’s good skate.” I heard Sammy yell, as I was talking to Emily. My eyes went wide and I turned to see Nate, who was looking right at me.

“what the fuck?” he asked, looking at me.

“oh yeah, skate this is my friend (y/n), you know, the singer we always talk about.” Sammy smiled.

“yeah I know who she is.” He said, harshly.

“dude, chill.” Kenny chimed in.

“yeah, chill Nate.” Sammy said, throwing his arm over my shoulder. And I knew that was it for Nate. He had always been the jealous type, and I knew by the look on his face, something was about to happen.

“I’ll chill when you get your fucking hands off my girlfriend.” Nate said, and then everyone just stopped and looked between the three of us. Me, Sammy and Nate. Sammy looked between Nate and I, and then looked at me.

“he’s the ass?”


Then Sammy looked at Nate, and stood up to face him.

“how are you about to freak out on me when you couldn’t even introduce her to us? What the fucks that about man? And for something as stupid as her size? Thinking we’d have a problem with it? You really think so lowly of your best friends?”

“no, it’s not even the reason.”

“well then what’s your real reason Nate?” I asked from my spot on the couch next to Emily.

“(y/n) you know it wasn’t like that. You know I love you. I just didn’t wanna introduce you cause I know my friends, and I didn’t want them calling me whipped and shit like that. I’m not embarrassed by you babe.”

“you know, I believe him.” Emily said next to me. “we’re a tough crowd when it comes to one of the guys and a girl, and especially Skathan. We’ve been wondering about him lately, constantly on his phone, walking around with a smile on his face all the time.” She smiled.

“yeah, he’s definitely whipped, but I don’t blame him.” Derek spoke.

Nate came over and sat by me.

“please believe me (y/n). I love you so much. You know that I do. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“nate, you could have just told me.”

“but then you woulda told me I was being stupid and insisted on meeting them.”

“would that have been so bad?”

“no, I knew they would love ya ma, I just didn’t want them calling me whipped. It hurts a mans ego.” He chuckled, the seriousness leaving. “I’m sorry babygirl. Do you forgive me?” he smiled his cute dopey little smile.

“I can’t say no to that face.” I laughed.

“good!” he cheered, grabbing my face and kissing me “I love you baby.” He smiled.

“I love y-“

“whipped!” Derek and Kenny yelled, making everyone laugh, and Nate and I smile.

um… well… ~ Spirit Roots

ugh… No… I am aren’t I….~ Scarlet Moon

*smiles* ~ Spirit Roots

And stop using me to hold signs! Don’t I have asks to answer still! I want to disappear! All of this is so embarrassing! ~ Scarlet Moon

I hit 400 followers a couple weeks ago, but because I was so busy, I didn’t even have the chance to thank you all yet! so….


I have something planned to celebrate (and it does involve Scarlet), but you will have to wait and see what it actually is. There should be a post about that in the next couple days.