i am actually crying over this why did i do this to myself

You still cross my mind. Even when i’m busy doing something and you’ll cross my mind. I still find myself crying to sleep at night and wake up the next day, they’re wondering why i have a puffy eyes and i will just tell them that i did not sleep well. There are times that i can still feel this heaviness in my chest that it makes hard for me to breathe whenever i hear your name. There are times that they will see tears fell from my eyes and all I could say was that I had something in my eye.

But how could I really say to them that you were actually gone and you’re happy while i am still here miserable and broken. How could i say that i’m still not okay and i’m still on the process of finding the missing pieces? How could i say that I still ache when they all think that i’m over it? How will i tell them that i still love you after acting that you don’t matter to me anymore? Because it’s been a while now. Everyone have moved on from what happened while here i am still bleeding, wounds are still fresh and you are there, no longer thinking of me and you probably forgotten about me. And i hate you for forgetting about me when i cant even seem to forget about
you at all.

—  How to move on?