i am about to start bawling

Cheeb Utena and Anthy!

It’s been years since I watched RGU but I never got to draw them, now I’ve finally sat down to do it. I’m hoping to make this into stickers maybe!

[COMMISSION INFO]

So many things I can’t get over in the Arrow finale like

  • Slade is back and redeeming himself and honestly? Him getting emotional over his son was it for me. I knew I was going to be a mess the rest of the time
  • Not only did Oliver and Felicity kiss but she initiated because SHE LOVES HIM AND SHE DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE ANY MORE REGRETS OK
  • Felicity and Thea!!! Felicity and Samantha!! All these important conversations and I am l i v i n g for them
  • Flashback!Oliver snapping Kovar’s neck (good) and present!Oliver refusing to snap Adrian’s. You go, my love
  • OLIVER REALIZING IT’S OK TO FORGIVE HIMSELF AND LET GO OF HIS GUILT FOR HIS FATHER’S DEATH. CHARATER GROWTH, THY NAME IS OLIVER QUEEN
  • THAT! SCENE! FLASHBACK!OLIVER SPRINTING THROUGH LIAN YU TO GET HOME AND CURRENT!OLIVER SPRINTING THROUGH LIAN YU TO SAVE HIS SON
  • (that’s about when I started jumping up and down)
  • I’m not even gonna discuss the scene with Moira except to say that that’s when I started bawling and covering my face
  • THE WAY OLIVER’S ARM SHOOK WHEN HE SAW ADRIAN HAD WILLIAM
  • THE WAY HE FOUND A WAY TO SAVE HIS SON WITHOUT KILLING
  • THE WAY HE HELD WILLIAM AND KISSED HIS HEAD AND PROTECTED HIM WITH ALL HIS MIGHT
  • THE E N D 
  • i had to lay down on the ground for a while. My boyfriend was concerned.

Anyways. Best Arrow finale ever

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE WHAT I’M FEELING RIGHT NOW????? LIKE…. I WAS SO UPSET WHEN THEY SAID LA LA LAND WON AND THEN THEY SAID MOONLIGHT AND I IMMEDIATELY STARTED BAWLING AND I COULDN’T STOP AND I’M STILL LITERALLY SOBBING I’M SO HAPPY????? LIKE A FILM ABOUT A BLACK BOY STRUGGLING WITH HIS SEXUALITY WON BEST PICTURE AT THE FUCKING OSCARS….. I CAN’T BELIEVE……. I AM SO HAPPY :))))))

This is an older story from over a year ago, but to this day it’s the customer interaction that bothers me the most.
I work at a fabric and craft store. (The one with they green logo.) At this point I had worked there for 3 months. It was the saturday after black friday and our sales ran from tuesday thru saturday. I had done the opening shift every day and I was really exhausted with sales and Christmas and everything in general.
Now, we accept competitor coupons. I don’t know exsactly why, since they are almost the exsact same as ours every time. But, when we do our coupon restrictions apply not the competitors. The sale of the day was 50% off all of our children’s craft and toys. They were black friday doorbusters and never ever work with coupons.
When this lady comes up to my register, she has darn near two carts of the kids stuff. It takes forever to scan and bag everything and the whole time she’s talking to her mother complaining about everything under the sun. I finish scanning everything and she hands me a competitor coupon. It’s 25% percent of your total purchase. We were running the exsact same coupon but she thought since it was a competitor coupon she could get around the doorbusters restriction. I explain the policy to her and she argues with me a little but I just keep telling her there is absolutely nothing I can do. Eventually she pulls the “Can I speak to your manager” line and I call her over. Since it is during a black friday sale it takes my MOD a while to get over there and the whole time I’m shuffling my feet and listing to this woman complain to her mother about how rediculous this is.
When my manager gets there she asks me what the problem is. I say it as straight forward as I can, “She has competitor coupon and I explained to her the policy on doorbusters but she would like to speak to you.” My manager then proceeds to tell her the exsact same thing I just told her. But she takes it all civilly and just threatens “Well I can’t get half of these then.” My manager says that’s alright and the lady starts handing stuff to me to void. At the time I didn’t know you could scan things to void them so I was finding each items barcode and removing it. This process takes a long time. My manager leaves and as soon as she is out of earshot the lady says (in the most snarky tone I’ve ever heard), “I want you to know you’re exceedingly rude.” And starts going on and on about how I could have explained things to the MOD better and how rediculous she finds the coupon policy. This how time I’m getting flustered trying to find the void items and stressing about the huge line. I’m trying not to listen to her about how unkind I am but suddenly she starts telling me how I’m ruining her children’s Christmas. And I’m so tired from the rest of the week I start feeling stressed. The customer continues to get angrier until eventually she demands to speak to my manager again.
I call her back over and she tells my manger that she was also rude, even though I watched her be nothing but polite. Afterwords she proceeds to tell my manger that I am a terrible employee. She criticizes everything about me. She talks about how rude I supposibly am and that I’m not qualified to work there and how I should be reprimanded if not fired. Eventually the MOD asks if she would like to speak to the store manager and wanders off to find her. The customer then turns to me and instead of telling me how I’m a bad employee she starts to tell me how I’m a terrible person in general. She says she has no idea how I got the job in the first place and how she is going report everything to corprate, especially me, and get me fired. She tells me how appalled she is that I dare ruin her kids Christmas when she is struggling with money. How I should feel sorry for what I’ve done to her. I’m still trying to void items and I’m so tired and flustered that I start to tear up. I’m trying my best to hide it as this woman basicly yells in my face.
Eventually my store manager makes it over and the customer starts telling her about how terrible I am before she looks over at me trying to hide the fact I’m starting to bawl. She puts her hand on my shoulder and tells I should got sit down in the back. I stumble towards the back of the store. Customers start to approach me to ask me questions but as soon as they see I’m crying they turn around. And I spend a good 10 minutes trying to calm down in the break room. At this point I’m so convinced they are gonna fire me because of what the customer said and how I started crying.
Eventually my store manager comes back and tells me not to take it so personally. But I never would have had I not been so tired from the black friday hours.
That customer still comes in from time to time and I will literally to anything to avoid being her cashier. I just can’t look at her without picturing everything she said about me.

The hardest thing about coming home is having my mom immediately realize something is wrong with me. I tried to stay away from my friends so they wouldn’t notice. …that didn’t work, of course.

I feel like all I ever do around people (outside if work) is freeze up entirely or start crying. Like I no longer have an emotional in-between. I’m holding back tears, I’m customer service self, or I’m bawling for literally no fucking reason.

Or maybe plenty if reasons. Feels stupid though.

I’ve only ever self-identified as ‘fun’ and maybe also 'helpful’
I’m neither of those things, now. So, I don’t know what I bring to the table, as a friend.

If I’m not -fun- to be around, then what am I to the people -I- care about? Are they angry at me for being a drain? How do I pretend not to be a drain if my default is tears? How do I convince someone that THEY didn’t cause the tears and I’m not letting them out to be manipulative?

How can I be a good friend, again? Especially if it’s going to be a long time before the fun comes back… if it does.

Void - part 5

Series summary: Reader has lost her memory and Sam and Dean try to find a way to get her life back.

Summary, part 5: Cas drops by to help.

Characters/pairing: Reader x Dean, Sam, Crowley, Cas

Word count: ~2270

Warnings: angst, language, mentions of pain, fluff, Dean being adorable

Author’s note: We’re at the halfway point already! Darn!

For catching up: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4.

It’s here! A few hours later than I planned/promised, but I got caught up writing, so sorry (not sorry). I hope y’all like it!



Tags at the end - as always, if you want on the list, let me know!



You slept late, woke up feeling rested and very reluctant to leave the bed. Stalling, you reached for one of the books on the nightstand. Your bookmark was near the middle, so you opened it there and read a few lines. To your surprise you remembered the plot right away. Huh. How can I remember a plot to a book I’ve been reading three weeks ago but not the important things like family or friends? This dulled your mood considerably, working as a cruel reminder that things weren’t normal for you. Sighing, you put the book back, got up and headed to the shower.

You dressed comfortably in a light sweater and well-worn jeans, twisted your damp hair into a loose braid and wandered to the hallway. You had only a vague memory from last night about how to get to the library or the kitchen, so you ended up taking a wrong turn and getting lost. When you stood there in the corridor, trying to figure out your next move, you heard a distant bang. The sound repeated a few times and finally you decided to swallow your pride and seek the source of the noise. It was probably either Sam or Dean anyway - they would surely mock your sense of direction, but help nevertheless. You followed the rhythmic sounds and knocked on the door where they seemed to come from. No one answered, but the bangs continued, so you braved the door open and stepped in.

You stopped on your tracks to admire the sight in front of you. Dean was standing in a booth, stance wide, arms straight in front of him and firing his gun repeatedly to a target across the room. The cotton of his shirt was stretched across his shoulders, revealing a toned back. Now there’s a sight for sore eyes. You relished the brief moment when he’d held you yesterday. I wonder what it would take to get a redo of that. That’s when you caught yourself. Oh for chrissake Y/N/N, stop drooling! You scolded your thoughts for a few more moments, never removing your eyes from Dean.

Keep reading

Merlin Reaction

So one of my best friends, we will call him Jim, had never seen BBC’s. And I being the fangirl that I am decided to make him watch it.


Skip forward to about a month later, we are watching the last two episodes together and I am already starting to cry, because I know what’s coming.


Now by this point he is insanely invested in the merthur relationship, and keep in mind he had no clue what was coming. So we get to the last episode and it goes something like this:


Jim: *watching last episode with straight emotionless face*


me: *bawling my eyes out during the thank you death scene*


*show ends with old merling walking*


Jim: * slowly gets up, no emotion on his face and takes a drink of coffee and calmly set cup down*

* looks and credits of show running*


Jim: * throws chair across room looking more pissed off than I have ever seen him*


Jim: thank you, after everything merling did for you and all you say is thank you.

* proceeds to throw another chair*

5

“He and Spade were just induplicable as a team – wonderful together. David is very acerbic and… he’s – you know, he’s a toughie. And Chris is a softie. You’ve got the best of Belushi and Aykroyd, of Abbott and Costello, of Martin and Lewis… You had just a perfect yin-yang situation with those guys.” - Dan Aykroyd

“A fantastic combination of ultimately innocent and ultimately jaded. They are the oil and vinegar of comedy.” - Mike Myers

“They would react to stress in different ways. Chris would get bigger, and David would – there’d be less of David. And I used to say that the amount of weight in the frame kind of stayed constant, you know, in a two-shot.” - Lorne Michaels

“They were funny, they were close, you could tell they were really good friends. And only real – really, really good friends can fight the way they fought. And they’d throw something, and not speak to each other for a couple hours, and we’d all sit there and laugh and watch this thing go back and forth.” - Bo Derek

“And when I’d visit those fools during the [Tommy Boy] shoot, they’d have little fights on occasion, and Farley would [laughs] have a snap and Spade… [laughs] Spade would be scared for his life. They were in love with each other – we all were! You know. But Spade and Farley had a definite… brotherly relationship.” - Adam Sandler

Those fools. The way everyone talks about those fools, and the way everyone smiles so much while talking about those fools. 

But David Spade himself, every time he’s asked about Chris Farley, he always gives the same answers, usually “I think about him every day” or some variation thereof, and appears very stoic and tired like he’s climbed these same stairs too many times. It should be noted that this is likely because he once said “if I think about that for more than 5 seconds ill start bawling.”

MalecWeek2017

I’m bored and randomly decided that I would like to take part in this Malec headcanon thing for Malecweek2017 because these are just so cute


  • Who hogs the duvet
    • Alec hands down. That boy is always cold and Magnus is a freakin furnace so he doesn’t really care when he wakes up in the morning to find Alec asleep under a mountain of blankets
  • Who texts/rings to check how their day is going
    • Magnus. Despite both of them being incredibly busy as they are the head of the institute and high Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus just doesn’t have the energy to stay engaged in his customers long pointless rants so he takes the time to ask how Alec is doing. But on occasion when Alec actual has a slow day and Magnus is traveling he’ll make it a priority to check in on him and ask how things are going
  • Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts
    • Magnus…. well…. creative? Yes, romantic? Not so much. As much as he would like to believe immortal fire breathing snakes are nothing romantic, but they all do follow the same theme of protection for his loved ones just as Alec’s gifts do. But for the most part their gifts for each other are spontaneous like a flower from the shop at the corner but they all carry the love they have for each other
  • Who gets up first in the morning
    • Alec. As much as Alec is not a morning person, he is a shadowhunter and is use to getting up early and is always certain to make a cup of coffee for whenever Magnus wakes up. But on days where he comes back late and has the morning off, Magnus will wake up first by a long run and usually takes the time to cherish these rare moments they have together
  • Who suggests new things in bed
    • Alec. But I wouldn’t say suggest more than I would say pulling Magnus to the bedroom and promising a “surprise” but as time goes on Magnus would be the one to suggest the more intense things because let’s be honest this man has had centuries of experimenting
  • Who cries at movies
    • Neither. Or that’s what they like to say, if the movie is about a dying animal or the life of a struggling child they will both end up in each other’s arms bawling their heads off by the end of the night. But if anyone asks it was allergy season
  • Who gives unprompted massages
    • Both honestly. Whenever Alec comes back from a mission sore Magnus will order him to lay down and get started. As does Alec whenever Magnus has had a long day with dealing with downworlders and customers
  • Who gets jealous easiest
    • At first Alec because “how the hell am I suppose to compete with Casanova?!” But that is not so much the spawn of the jealousy comes from than it is from club goes at Pandemonium because “stop grinding on my boyfriend freak” but as time goes on and they become more secure in their relationship neither of them
  • Who collects something unusual
    • Magnus, honestly he probably has a hoard of Canopic jars lying around that he pokes at from time to what the contents look like now
  • Who gets most excited about the holidays
    • Neither. Shadowhunters don’t really celebrate mundane holidays and Magnus stop caring along time ago but that doesn’t stop the excuses for small gifts and kisses under the mistletoe
  • Who is the big spoon/little spoon
    • Have you seen Alec’s bed at the institute? That boy curls in on himself like a cat and will most definitely do the same to Magnus as he tries to pointedly ignore the way his cold feet feel on his legs and wrap himself around the body on his chest
  • Who starts the most arguments
    • They don’t argue too much but when they do it’s usually been built up over time because we all know how much these too love to keep things inside and the arguments will usually be cause by a small incident that ignites a larger fire
  • Who suggests that they buy a pet
    • Suggests? Neither. Comes home with random animals they found on the street? Both.
  • What couple traditions do they have
    • They make a trip to Magnus’ place in Paris every 4 months for a week or so to just relax and spend much need time together and just forgets the world for a bit
  • What tv shows they watch together
    • Game of thrones, breaking bad, sense 8, but Magnus really likes to show Alec classic movies on Netflix
  • What other couple do they hang out with
    • Jace and Clary: Jace is Alec’s Parabatai and Clary is adored by Magnus
    • Isabelle and Simon: Izzy is loved by them both and Alec “tolerates” Simon (secretly he really likes him though)
    • Tessa and Jem: idk I just really love the idea
    • Jocelyn and Luke: still in denial
  • Who brings flowers home
    • As Matt once said, Alec would, but it would be the least romantic and awkward thing ever
  • Who does Alec talk to about relationship issues
    • Jace and Izzy 100%
  • And who does Magnus talk to
    • Catarina, Dot, Tessa, Raphael, Ragnor ( they aren’t dead what are you talking about
  • How do they make up after an argument
    • *cough* make out *cough* usually though they take the time to address the issues and understand each other’s pov but yes kissing is definitely involve
Okay Loyal Theorists, time to get deep...

I’ve had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, and suicidal thoughts since about sixth grade. The months leading up to New Years 2016 were really bad for me. I was overworked and not paid, my family was going through a bad time financially, my grandmother was in pain and on her deathbed for months, bullied, physically beaten, and I hated myself because I am queer and religious. 

I found Game Theory around 2012, The Problem’s with Princess Peach, yeah, that far back. Through GT, I found so many other fantastic YouTubers, but GT will always be my first and favorite. 

December, after Christmas, before New Years, my grandmother passed away, my mother had to grieve, so I felt like I had to be the adult. I barely got to go to her funeral because I couldn’t have any sick days to take off from school to grieve, because I took all of my sick days off prior, because I was in competition One Act play. My dad became even more emotionally distant, I was bullied for months, but it got worse around that time, I had to get an extra job, along with my extra curricular acting, to help pay bills. And the self hatred kept growing and growing.

New Years Eve, 2015 going into 2016, I was invited to a party by some “friends” and I accepted, because I don’t like alcohol around my dad. At that party, where I basically knew no one, everyone was drunk, but me, and no one cared to know me at that point. I already hated myself, thought no one cared about me, from people from school, theatre troupe, director’s, my one friend, and even my parents didn’t care if I was alive or not. I had tried suicide many times before, but my body fought through it all those times before. But I had reached my breaking point, I tried to call my mom to try to calm down, but she didn’t answer. I ran into some stranger’s bathroom, locked the door, went through their cabinets to find something to end my life. I had pills in one hand, and a razor in the other. I thought no one would ever care.

And then my phone beeped, I opened it up thinking maybe my mom couldn’t call, so she texted. But it wasn’t her, it was a tweet/video of Matthew Patrick on his trip to Sydney with his wife, Stephanie, thanking all his fans, all the loyal theorists, because “without us, he wouldn’t be here right now.” He talked about how his life changed, for the better because of all of us. And that made me think, I looked down at what I had in my hands and after the video, I dropped them, I thought “If I can make someone I look up to happy, then this is not worth it, and this is not the answer for me getting better.” I started bawling my eyes out.

Because of Matthew and Stephanie Patrick, because of GTLive, because of Game Theory/Film Theory, I am alive, I got help, I’m taking meds, yes it was my decision, but they pushed me in the right direction. Now, I’m in a great place, I have a better relationship with my parents, I’m getting my GED and College degree early/earlier than usual. I’m out, I’m happy, I’m proud.

So, to all the “haters”, as Matt puts it, I don’t care if you disagree with theories, because that’s what they are, theories. I don’t care what you think, but just know, this man you openly hate on, because “oh, he made a theory I disagreed on! I hate him now!” saved my life. I would not be breathing and well without of him.

I would have overdosed, or hurt myself, or jumped off the balcony of my hotel room from that trip my theatre troupe went on, I would’ve stabbed or shot myself. But now I have friends, on twitter, on the chat, on tumblr, in real life, and on the screen. I owe so much to this man and his community. So, to whoever reads this, thank you. And if you ever need to talk, I am here for you, I care. The Theorists are some of the smartest, funniest, creative, and loving group of people on the internet, and I won’t be silenced with hate and death threats from anonymous tumblr users.

If you made it this far, or read any of this, clap and a half to you!  -Maria

Atm I am always on the verge of tears it’s fuckin ridiculous. Like I’m driving home and I’ll be thinking about smt that happened and pissed me off and I’ll be bawling my eyes out for 10 miles. Feels like the slightest thing makes me tip over the edge. Like I can’t have a full proper conversation ‘cause stuff that makes me angry just leads to tearing up and my voice starts breaking and I just can’t fuckin hold up. I just feel exhausted and on edge all the time. I’m just so angry at myself for having this weak state of mind. Ugh.

ID #55230

Name: Suranjana
Age: 16
Country: India

Hey guys!
I’ve never done this before, but I’d really like to start penpalling. I am fluent in English, Hindi and am currently learning French and I am semi-fluent (a.k.a, I can actually hold a decent conversation from anything about hobbies to politics, with a whole bunch of grammatical errors and lot of time to think)
I am an internet hobbit who spends her life bawling over T.V shows, youtubers, music and memes. I do like to think that I am quite funny from time to time, but if you’re not the one for harmless self depreciating jokes, immature innuendos and a whole bunch of sarcasm and dry humor, you might get pretty offended. Also, I swear a lot.
I’ve spent almost my entire life in India, but I’ve always wanted to travel the world, every nook and cranny of it. The only international trip I’ve ever been on was a 10 day trip to Bretagne, France in an exchange programme, but I do want to explore other places and their cultures too.
I am an absolute bookworm, with a special inclination to YA, dystopian or fantasy novels. I love reading books starting from The Hunger Games, The Maze Runner, Divergent to the Harry Potter series or Percy Jackson books. I love everything about fictional universes and they intrigue me so much more than my pathetic mundane life.
I am o b s e s s e d with youtubers and the internet. My favourite have got to be Dan (or should I say, Daniel) and Phil. Try as I may I never get bored of them. Yes, the phandom has got to me.
I happen to be one of those weirdos who is obsessed with watching youtube gamers and their content despite having played a single game in their lives. I swear, I have so much knowledge about FNAF, Outlast, The Last Of Us, etc. despite having never played any of these games. And can we just take a moment to appreciate Minecraft, thanks.
That’s that I guess. Sorry for the absolute longest intro of all time. But there ya go.


Preferences: Ages 14-20 preferred, from any country, gender, religion or sexuality. No LGBTQ+ hating , racism, sexism or discrimination against any religion at all. Assholes are kindly requested to fuck off :)

Accident Problems

Jack doesn’t drive that often and everyone knows that. Conor is usually the one who drives them, because he’s the only one who has a car.

It was a day when he decided to drive. Jack was going to go pick Anna up, she was going to be staying with him, Conor and Josh, (a/n let’s all pretend they still live together (*cries bc i miss them living together*)) for the week. Conor couldn’t go with Jack because he was going to be recording the whole day.

Jack had just stopped by to see Joe,his boyfriend, to see if he wanted to pick Anna up. Joe had declined because he had work to do. Jack was driving but only a few minutes he got into an accident.

The next thing Jack knows is that he’s waking up in the hospital. His head hurts, he also notices that he has a cast on his arm, and when he tries to sit up it hurts. Jack saw Joe sitting in a chair, on his phone, across the room.

“Wh- what happened?” Jack asked sleepily.

Joe was startled by Jack’s voice, and accidentally dropped his phone.

“umm… you got into a car accident and I’ll go get the doctor.” Joe said quickly as he picked up his phone and left the room.

A few minutes later Joe returned with not only the doctor but his family.

“Oh my god, you’re okay I was so worried about you!” His mother, Helen, nearly bawled out crying. You could tell that she was crying.

“What exactly happened?” Jack questioned the doctor.

“Well, you were in a serious car accident. You broke your arm, your ribs, and you have a mild concussion.” The doctor explains to Jack.

“Am I going to be okay?” Jack asks with a worried look.

“Yes, you’re just going to have to relax for a while.”

A few weeks later Jack is starting to feel better. Joe has been taking good care of him. In the earlier weeks, every little thing Jack needs to do Joe would do it for him. When Jack would ask why he’s doing that, Joe would respond with,

“I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
Jack wondered why he would do this when he has two roommates.

Anna’s trip got postponed to a later week, so Jack can be healthy.

A month went by after the accident, and Joe started to notice something about his boyfriend. Whenever Conor or one of the other boys asked if he wanted to drive, he would immediately turn it down. Joe asked the others if they saw that too, and they all agreed that they have.

Joe was currently at the Maynard’s/Pieters household alone with Jack. Conor said something about recording in the studio and Josh said he was going to Caspar’s. Joe has really wanted to ask Jack about why he hasn’t been driving, but he didn’t know how to bring it up in their conversations. Maybe it’s better that they don’t talk about it, Joe often pondered to himself.

A few weeks went by and Joe still had the same thoughts. I need to ask him, Joe repeatedly told himself.

One day Jack was at Joe’s having dinner, when he suddenly blurted out,

“Why haven’t you been driving?”

“What?” Jack asked him.

“I mean, I’ve noticed that ever since you got into that car accident you stopped driving.” Joe explains to him.

“Well, I feel like if I drive again something might happen to me again.”

“If you just be cautious of everyone on the road, nothing will happen.”

The two boys went on to talk about how Jack should start driving again. The next day Joe had Jack drive around the area in which they live in. Joe explained it to him as taking baby steps and that you have to start small and then go big.

A few months later Jack was back to normal. Or at least what he considers normal. Jack was doing his best in being aware of everything going on around him when he drives. Jack is comfortable with driving, and that makes Joe happy to know that he helped him.

Comfort

Fem! Reader x Platonic 501st
Synopsis: Reader gets fired by Krell. Rex and co. Have smuggled items and themselves to cheer her up.
TW: Alcohol
_________

The Coruscant native engineer never really found the Jedi scary. They could be fierce, elegant, even intimidating, sure, but never scary. Hell, sometimes she could describe Skywalker, Kenobi, and Tano as goofy at times. But not General Krell. Krell and ‘goofy’ didn’t belong in the same system, much less the same sentence. Two words that did belong in the same sentence: Krell and Scary. Especially as he towered over the shaking engineer.
Every trooper in the room was fidgeting uncomfortably as the engineer was berated with words. They wanted to intervene, but they also knew they’d be next on the chopping block and Krell could legally court martial them insubordination. So there they stood, seething in anger and thinking of thinks they should say.
“Any self respecting, so-called ‘engineer’ could have fixed this problem before it even happened. And where were you? ‘Fixing’ AT-RT’s that were deemed unfit for combat. Decoding enemy technology was and still is our number priority. Do. You. Understand.?” He yelled crescendoing every word as he leaned closer and closer until the mechanic was bent over backwards to avoid being touched. Krell turned and repositioned at the window with his four arms clasped his arms behind his back.
“Yes, sir, but, sir, the AT-RTs’ damage reports were incorrect! Every one of them were salvageable.” She reasoned, inching away from him and straightened out her posture. Everyone in the command center visibly tensed as she talked back. Last time someone did that, they had a lightsaber pointed to their throat.
The general whipped around so fast that the engineer almost fell backwards in surprise. “Are you doubting me, Miss (Y/L/N)? Because I signed off those reports and transferred all able workforce to decoding. I thought engineers were smarter than this. So let me put this really simple. You WILL clean up the mess you could have prevented. You WILL finish this mission without another toe out of line. You WILL be dismissed from service as soon we touch down on Coruscant. And when I finished you WILL leave this room with anything but a Yes, Sir.,” he paused to ignite a saber near her cheek, “Am I making myself, absolutely, perfectly clear?”
“Yes. Sir.” She responded through clenched teeth. She turned on her heel and marched herself out.
Captain Rex stepped up to the menacing Jedi, “Sir, if I may. (Y/N) (Y/L/N), civilian or not, is one of the most talented mechanics the Republic has ever seen-”
The General interrupted, “CT-7567, are you inferring that my judgement is inferior to yours?”
With widened eyes, “No sir, I’ll go make sure repairs are being started.”
By the time the Captain caught up with the engineer, she was halfway to the hangar. From behind her, he could see how her shoulders shook and every now and then she’d wipe something away from her face. She was crying.
“(Y/N)! Hey, wait!” He called out after her. She halted and let him catch up. He wrapped a hand around her wrist and tugged towards the mess. “C’mon.”
“Rex, you know I have to start repairs in the hangar.” She protested, voice thick with tears. “General frog face will have my head if I breathe the wrong direction.”
“Then I guess he’ll have mine too.” With that, Rex led the disheartened engineer to the cafeteria. “You get something to eat, I’m gonna go falsify repair reports. We all know Krell wouldn’t dain to mingle with lowly clones and an engineer; he won’t find out.”
So with a small smile and a wink, the Captain turned around and headed back to the hangar, but not without receiving a barely-there smile and a quiet thanks.
Inside the mess, the glum engineer received her ration bar meal and a cup of military- grade (fake) caf, and sat down at an empty table. There as she choked down the ‘meat’ flavored ration bar, she was forced to face the harsh reality. She was losing her job. When she had joined to military, she ended her lease on her apartment, and quit her old job. The girl didn’t have any family on Coruscant, and most of her friend were the ones she graduated with from the School of Hyperspace Engineering-they joined the military too. Leaving the 501st meant leaving her family, friends, home, and source of steady income.
An unpermitted tear slid it’s way down her cheek, and plipped onto her tray. Embarrassed and hoping no one noticed, she quickly reached up and used the back of her hand to wipe away the wet trail. Unfortunately, when she brought her arm down it was a tad to harshly and knocked over the cup of scalding coffee straight onto her stomach.
“Ah!” She yelped as the hot drink soaked through her clothes and scalded her shirt. Reflexively, she jumped up and away from the table causing her chair to scrape backwards and fall over with a loud bang. This in turn, directed every soldier’s attention to her as she stood there trembling. This had pushed her over the edge.
On the other side of the mess, Five turned his head towards the racket and found his gaze settling on the quivering girl. Without any hesitation, he abandoned his dinner and jogged over to the engineer.
Placing one hand on her shoulder, he bent over to pick up her chair. Then, placing the other hand her other arm’s bicep, he cautiously asked, “(Y/N), Honey,” (He’d read somewhere that civvies used nicknames to comfort one another, “Are you alright?”
It was when she started shaking even more that he asked himself if his awkward pats were making things worse. “(Y/N), are you hurt? Are you okay?”
She started shaking her head before she choked out, “No.”
Then in a flurry of motion, she threw her arms around his neck. He almost fell forward with her sudden dead weight on him. After getting over the initial shock, he easily supported her weight and wrapped his arms around her waist. “What’s wrong?”
Another moment of her sobbing into the creases of his armor, she started to bawl out. “I don’t wanna leave! I love this job so much! Y’all are my family and my best friends. Who is gonna make sure y’all take care of yourselves and don’t blow up your equipment! Oh god, I’m gonna be homeless. I’m gonna live in a box in some slum. I’ll have to I don’t wanna leave. Fives, what am I gonna do!?”
“What are you talking about?” Fives questioned softly as Hardcase, Tup, Kix, and Jesse gathered around them. Tup started to wipe up the spilled caf while Kix cleared away the caf soaked ration bar. Hardcase went to the caf machine and Jesse dug around in his pack and pulled out some smuggled in candy.
“I heard that candy makes girls feel better.” Jesse whispered, elbowing at Kix’s side.
“Knock it off, Jesse.” Kix rolled his eye. They almost missed it but managed to catch the smallest giggle from the engineer. Kix and Jesse both shot her brilliant smiles.
“Will you tell us what’s going on now?” Fives asked gingerly, sitting her down then sitting beside her. The others gathered around the table to sit with them. The bright fluorescent lights highlighted her red rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks as she criss-crossed her legs in her seat.
“I’m losing my job. Krell has deemed me unfit for service. Effective upon touchdown on Coruscant.” She said flatly. She nonchalantly sipped her caf as the group rained an onslaught of questions.
“What?” “He can’t do that!” “On what grounds?” “Where will you go?” “What will you do?”
“To be brief, he hates me more than he hates you. And he thinks I’m stupid.” He shrugged.
“He’s stupid!” Hardcase hollered, slamming his fists against the table.
“Hush, he can fire me, but he can court martial you.” She scolded. Hardcase sighed and apologized
“What he means is that it’s stupid because you can engineer circles around literally anybody in the GAR.” Tup elaborated, thwacking Hardcase over the head. Another barely-there smile and empty giggle later.
“Tell Krell that. Actually don’t he might actually have your head.” She mused, cracking a piece off the candy bar to pop it in her mouth. Fives nodded gravely.
“Something tells me we’re gonna need something stronger than caf.” Kix smirked, standing up. Fives laughed aloud.
“Y’know, I like the way you think.”
___________
When Captain Rex entered the barracks, he was most surprised to find the 501st engineer stretched out over his bed. Wearing her uniform pants, with a cut off set of blacks as a shirt. Though tight on the clones, it hung off her body- but the way she was laying it rode up over her belly button. One arm was slung over the side of his bed, loosely grasping a bottle of smuggled booze. He then realized that there were at least two more bottles being passed around the room. She was slurring giggles as the other arm waved around (more like flopped about) as she insulted Krell’s entire family line.
“He looks like a frog. His mother-” She was cut off by a loud hiccup. Rex then observed the other troopers. Hardcase was laughing loudly at her insults, Jesse was rooting through his belongings for presumably more alcohol, Fives was wearing the pant from the cut-off black’s pants as a hat (the drunk mechanic was laughing boisterously at this), Tup was sitting with her with his hair down as he braided her hair, and Kix was chuckling as he dozed on his top bunk- he would occasionally slur some nonsense. A few other troopers laid haphazardly around, but noone of note.
“Ahem.” Rex cleared his throat. All troopers jumped up and lazily stood at attention, well Kix fell off his bunk. Even (Y/N) stumbled up, her shirt falling back into place. As she stood at ‘attention’, she swayed from side to side with glossy eyes and a goofy smile.
“Rex!” She cried, skipping over to him. The way she said it had two syllables. After throwing herself on him, (he easily caught her from dizzily falling right back off) she continued, “I feel MUCH better now.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” He pretended to be cross, but she didn’t even seem to be registering it.
“Nabooian Whiskey is amaaazzing.” She giggled. Some of the troopers looked uncomfortable as the Captain looked over all of them.
“Fives.” He called.
“Sir, yes,” He paused to hiccup, “Sir.”
“You know Nabooian Whiskey is my favorite.” Finally the Captain cracked a smile, and all the troopers cheered.
______
A half hour and plenty of swigs later, the base was shutting down for the night and Rex had expertly evaded Krell’s calls. The engineer now tuckered out was sitting on the floor, propped against wall, and sandwiched between Rex and Fives with her legs laid across Tup and Kix. Hardcase was hanging upside down yet still fast asleep.
“We’ll get this sorted out, (Y/N), I promise.” Rex assured, feeling the weight of her head on his shoulder.
“You’re not going anywhere.” Fives agreed, snatching a blanket off a nearby cot and laying it over them. The engineer gave them a real smile, the first all day. Reaching out both hands, she took their hands in hers.
“Thanks, boys.”
_______
Epilouge:
“We’re very sorry you’ve had to endure this. We had no idea Pong Krell had gone rouge.” Obi-Wan Kenobi restated calmly. The engineer sat before the jedi council plus Anakin(per the Chancellor’s request) and the Chancellor.
“The 501st will receive as much shore leave as we can spare, you included.” Mace Windu promised. The engineer’s face lit up.
“Does this mean-” She twittered excitedly.
“Keep you job you may. Good work yours has been. With you, this war be ended more swiftly it might. Hmmm.” Master Yoda mused. He received a bright smile.
“Besides it would be unwise to consider the orders of a proven separatist sympathizer.” The chancellor conceded.
“Plus, I hear we might need some one of you- ahem- tolerance.” Anakin chided, smirking as the engineer turned red. Obi-Wan suppressed a chuckle.
“Captain Rex, will you please escort Miss (Y/L/N) out as we discuss more sensitive matters?” The hologram of Plo-Koon requested.
“Of course, sir. Miss (Y/LN)?” He motioned for you to follow. One last smile to the council and she followed the Captain out.
Once two hallways away from the Chancellor’s office, she finally let her excitement get the best of her. She launched herself on his and hugged him tight.
“Did you hear that?! I get to keep my job!” She laughed as Rex spun her around.
“See? Nothing to get upset over.”
__________
Requested by @istudywithtea. This isn’t my most favorite thing I’ve ever done, but I hope it’s enjoyable.

WEEK ONE RECAP- Oh lordy this week went well for me. Stayed in the green all but yesterday (I think I went over by like, 20 calories) and ultimately (unless I eat a TON of calories late tonight which I do not anticipate doing, my stomach is done) ended up with a 1,189 calorie deficit, give or take. WHICH according to math, is 3,478 calories below my weekly TDEE and pretty much exactly one solid, non-water weight pound down! It is straight up criminal how little short people have to eat to lose weight, but I am choosing this, this time. I can handle this.

My weight has dropped 3-4 pounds since last Sunday (well, 6 pounds this morning but I am NOT counting that fluke dehydration weight) which was kind of what I expected for my first week. I went from eating straight garbage and drinking every night to measuring everything, running, and drinking only once!!!! this entire week!!!! and not stuffing myself with food after drinking, which I was extremely worried about. I’m kind of hoping to reach my dietbet goal weight by the time I go back to work on August 8th, as it’s just 3 pounds away and my time off gives me lot’s of jogging time. I want to tack an additional 3-4 pounds of loss onto my dietbet goal, mostly because it’s the weight I “left off” at, last April when I was being more careful. Now that I’m not drinking all the damn time I feel like everything is more in reach, but I could easily be speaking too soon. Honeymoon stage of weightloss, for sure.

(Oh yeah and speaking of not drinking, this morning while hugging the toilet bowl and moaning my husband walked in and was like, “Wow what is wrong with you?” And I had to tell/remind him that I haven’t had alcohol in a week and his jaw dropped. He hadn’t even noticed! Or it hadn’t really registered. He so, so, so sincerely told me how proud he was of me and it made me start bawling [partially because of the pain but mostly because I needed to hear it] so I was just crying and heaving on the floor and he left IMMEDIATELY!!!! hahahhahaa.)

And SPEAKING of dietbet, in one week our team has collectively lost 29 pounds!!!! That’s basically 30 pounds! You guys!! I am so proud. This is effective as hell and I’m already daydreaming about next month’s challenge, if people want to participate in the future/again! (I think you can actually still sign up for our current one until August 6th, FYI. I think.)

@zerocarb @notimetowastetoloseit @one-forty-five @biancadoeshealthy @lchfjourney @westcoaststartinganew @surgeofadrenaline @niki-noo @meishamodifying You guys are rockstars!!! We got this let’s do this!

I’ve finished the first round of black belt testing, and since I still have more to go, I’m not going to talk about it in-depth yet. Keep an eye out for reblogs from @welcometophu on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday where I will share video, transcripts, and talk about my experiences.

What I will say is this:

1. I am simultaneously so exhausted I could faceplant and so wired that I can’t sleep.

2. I am washing my uniform before testing tomorrow, it stinks that much.

3. I didn’t start bawling during my essay and I am SO DAMNED PROUD of that fact. There is even video (I haven’t watched it yet) so you should get to see/hear it.

Tomorrow I get to have fun and spar and break with my TKD family, and I am so excited and happy to be sharing this with them.

I am also so glad I have Friday off work!

anonymous asked:

DO YOU EVER JUST REMEMBER THAT CHRIS' ACTUAL FATHER PASSED AWAY AND SO THAT SCENE MUSTVE BEEN SO EMOTIONAL FOR HIM TO DO THE ONE WHERE HE SCREAMS WHERE IS MY FATHER AND FINDS OUT HIS FATHER DIES HES LITERALLY SUCH A BRILLIANT ACTOR IM

I DID NOT ASK TO BE SO ATTACKED TONIGHT!!!! THAT IS THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WHEN HE SPOKE THAT LINE AND I STARTED BAWLING UNCONTROLLABLY!!! CHRIS IS SUCH A PHENOMENAL ACTOR AND DESERVES ALL THE AWARDS!! I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS.