i am about to cry in this picture

some bits of the second season of sense8 did i’ll never recover from:

  • the “who am I?” speech
  • every time all eight of them were together
  • capheus and kala and wolfie connecting through sex
  • riley and will tricking whispers with seagulls
  • all eight of them with sun at the cemetery
  • dani being lito’s agent
  • “are you sure?”
  • wolfie appearing next to lito when joaquin threatens him
  • sun not giving a fuck about lito crying
  • kala and wolfie sex
  • “wolfgang?” “ask for help?” “can’t picture it”
  • sun and her dog
  • lito screaming at the museum
  • “take your hands off my daughter”
  • kala saying “bring it, bitch”
  • all sensates coming together for the head move of wolfie’s on lila
  • sun showing sexist and transphobic motherfuckers you don’t mess with her or with her cluster
  • são paulo pride parade
  • amanita and nomi getting engaged
  • wolfie’s face when rajan kisses him
  • kala blowing up a car
  • sun chasing after her brother using only a bra and panties
  • will beating up whispers
  • “You want a war? We’ll give you a war”
  • every about this fucking season
WRITING PROMPTS

WRITING PROMPTS FOR DAYS
Feel free to request any of these for any character.

1. “Do you want me to leave?”
2. “I swear it won’t happen again.”
3. “I’m not jealous.”
4. “You can’t keep doing this.”
5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.”
7. “You did what?!”
8. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
9. “Don’t ask me that.”
10. “I might have had a few shots.”
11. “What’s with the box?”
12. “Say it!”
13. “I could kiss you right now!”
14. “Are you done with that?”
15. “Are you still awake…?”
16. “Excuse you?”
17. “This is all your fault!”
18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”
19. “I could kill you right now!”
20. “Just admit I’m right.”
21. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
22. “That’s irrational.”
23. “Just pretend to be my date.”
24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”
25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”
27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”
28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”
29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”
31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!”
32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”
33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”
35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
36. “Did I say that out loud?”
37. “Do you think they could have loved me?”
38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
39. “How long have you been standing there?”
40. “Have I ever lied to you?”
41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”
42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”
43. “I am not losing you again!”
44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
46. “I just need to be alone right now.”
47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”
48. “I made a mistake.”
49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”
50. “I need you to forgive me.”
51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”
53. “I’m flirting with you.”
54. “I’m not good enough for you.”
55. “I fell in love with my best friend.”
56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
57. “I’m up to the challenge.”
58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.”
59. “I’m yours.”
60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”
62. “It’s okay to cry…”
63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!”
64. “Talk to me.”
65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?”
66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”
68. “Well, this is where I live.”
69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.”
70. “What are you afraid of?”
71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.”
72. “You deserve so much better.”
73. “You don’t have to stay.”
74. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
80. “Teach me?”
81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”
82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.”
83. “Just once.”
84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
85. “It’s not what it looks like.”
86. “I got you a present.”
87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.”
89. “You’re the best part of me.”
90. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
91. “Can I hold your hand?”
92. “Let’s move in together.”
93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”
94. “What time is it?”
95. “Just wait a second.”
96. “Here, let me.”
97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.”
98. “Hold me back!’
99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!”
100. “I adore you.”

So I’ve been re-skimming some LotR in between looking for new books to read and Boromir mentions his brother like, three times in the Council of Elrond. And I realize it’s dramatic foreshadowing shit, but consider (modern au apparently) Boromir who just talks about his brother all the time and has so many pictures:

“Hobbits like poetry? My brother won a poetry contest in third grade!!! You know who’d love to hear more about Dwarves? My brother. Gosh, I can’t wait until we all get to Minas Tirith so I can show you all the best things about my city and you can meet my brother.”


“Yeah, I’ve seen Boromir, he’s a great dude,” says Eomer, “but I hear he talks about his brother a lot?”


“How do I know you’ve actually met my brother?” asks Faramir. “And how do you know who I am?”

“… I have seen probably a hundred pictures of you and heard the stories behind all of them,” says Frodo.

“Ah,” says Faramir, resigned. “Yeah, okay, you’ve met him.”

The first thing Marinette did after finding out that Chat was Adrien was, in fact, not take the posters and pictures off her walls.

Oh, she thought about it (because, seriously, it was embarrassing, and the second he realized that Marinette was Ladybug and that Marinette was a shameless fangirl he would never let her live it down), but, in the end, she had to stop and just… look at them.

Because that was her silly kitty striking all those ridiculous poses, her silly kitty working hard — her silly kitty working for Gabriel Agreste, and whether he was his child or not, that was impressive as hell.

Looking at them didn’t give her that little punch in the gut anymore, she found. They didn’t make her feel giddy or lightheaded of anything of that sort anymore.

They just made her feel warm.

Hey, she wanted to say — not that she could, or that anyone would listen, but still, look at what my partner did! Isn’t he good?

It also kind of made her want to know what was going through his head in some of them, because she knew him, and knew there was no way he’d be able to pull off some of those expressions without thinking something utterly ridiculous.

On the other hand, there were some that were just so him she couldn’t believe she’d never seen it before. Casual elegance with warm humor and soft smiles — the only expressions she couldn’t seem to find was those absurd(ly charmin— nope, nope, nope, not going there) — absurd grins she loved so much.

Shit.

Did she say loved? She meant hated, obviously; they were so annoying! He was annoying. No amount of model-level looks could change that. Obviously. She didn’t know what she was thinking!

…Still.

She found herself going through her collection, a little ache making itself known in the pit of her heart as it became more and more obvious that ‘reserved’ and 'elegant’ were the only sorts of pictures she had.

It hadn’t bothered her before she’d known he was Chat — back when he was more of an unattainable dream than anyone in particular — and to be sure, Chat could be elegant anytime he wanted, but…

It was a little like a cookie without real butter. Still a cookie, no doubt about that, but… something was missing.

Maybe it wasn’t quite so surprising that she’d never made the connection after all.

But, well, missing parts or no, she still had pictures of her dumb kitty all over her walls, intentionally or otherwise, and…

Well…

It was embarrassing, but her walls felt almost unbearably lonely as soon as she tried taking them down.

There were worse things to cover one’s space with, she figured.

And then she put them back up.

Augustus did a cursory scan of their surroundings and then, upon seeing everyone around them otherwise engaged, pulled Patrick forward and greeted him with a kiss….

Secrets - Jughead x Reader Imagine

anonymous asked:

Can you do an imagine where Jughead loses his laptop and the reader and him split up to find it the reader finds it and finds out he’s been writing about the reader

Originally posted by juptern

I had a lot of fun writing this, hope you enjoy!

warnings: none

word count: 827

The school bell rung at the end of the lesson signalling the long awaited home-time for the students of Riverdale High. Your best friend - and partner in crime, Jughead Jones, was particularly eager to get out of school today so he could work on his novel, which by the way, was highly classified. Nobody, not even you were allowed to peak. 


The two of you walked out of class together as always to head over to Pop’s Diner where he would type away endlessly and you’d occupy yourself with Homework or reading a book - secretly admiring the way Jughead’s concentrating face looked when every so often his brows would furrow in the cutest way when he got stuck. Yes, you were crushing on your best friend. You have been for a while, but you try to ignore it since you know Jughead wouldn’t feel the same.


“(Y/N)!” You were pulled from thought as you walked along side Jughead down the school hallway. “Hmm?” you turned to face your friend as he stopped dead in his tracks, searching through his backpack frantically. “My laptop! It’s gone!” he panicked. “What? Where did you last leave it?” you ask concerned. He looked at you as if he were about to say something snarky but decided against it. “It should be in here! I never leave it anywhere, it’s with me at all times.” Jughead was looking extremely worried now. “What if it’s been stolen? All my work is gone! wha-” You cut him off; “JUG! We’ll find it, okay? I’m sure you just left it lying around somewhere. We’ll split up and look for it. You check your place and Pop’s, and I’ll search the school.” Jughead glanced at me and paused for a second, worry etched on his face. “uhh.. Okay. Yeah, just.. Call me right away if you find it, yeah?” You simply nodded. “Thanks.” He said, and with that the two of you parted.


The first place you thought to check was the school paper room, where you know Jughead has been helping Betty out lately, and not to your surprise, Jughead’s laptop was safely sitting on the desk he’s been working on. You got out your phone to call Jughead but halted when you saw a familiar picture peeking from the half-open screen. It was a picture of you and Jughead when you were little, You both sat hugging each other and grinning widely in Jughead’s tree house. A small smile crept to your lips at the memory, curiosity got the better of you. Was this Jughead’s murder novel? Why was this picture in it? You couldn’t help but to peak. Filled with confusion and guilt, you slowly lift the screen up and scan your eyes across the page. Your heart drops and you feel a tight sensation in your stomach. This looks like some kind of love poem.


A tear escapes your eyes as you read it. Jughead has really put so much emotion into this. You had no idea your best friend felt this way. There was so much passion you didn’t even know Jughead had. He describes the way that he’s addicted to the way he feels when he thinks of you, The feeling of adoration every time he looks into your eyes and the world just stops. “(Y/N!?)” You jump back so fast that you almost fall over. Jughead had remembered where he left the laptop and came as quickly as he could. He stood at the door frame watching you. “What did I ask you about not reading what was on there!?” He snapped. “I’m so sorry Jug, I really am. I just saw that picture and I couldn’t help it. I shouldn’t have. I’m such a terrible human being!” You rushed your words out, distraught. You felt utterly terrible.


You didn’t realise until Jughead ran over and engulfed you in a tight hug that you were crying. Tears streamed down your face, whether it was from the poem or your guilt you couldn’t tell. “Hey, it’s ok.” Jughead shushed you. “It was a stupid mistake. I don’t know how I managed to leave that page open for you to see.” You both pulled back and Jughead went bright red, the realisation that he’s been busted finally hitting him. “uhh.. About that..” He trailed off, rubbing his hand behind his neck awkwardly. You reached up and crashed your lips onto his. He kissed back with almost desperation, a fire in the pit of your stomachs. The kiss died down into a more slow and passionate one until you pulled apart and stared into each others eyes. Jughead’s smile reached his ears. “The poem was beautiful, Jug.” You simply stated and he replied sarcastically of course; “Oh that thing? that was just about Pop’s.” You let out a laugh and lightly smacked his arm. “speaking of Pop’s..” He started, “I’m hungry.” He said “Let’s go eat then, Pendleton” You teased.

youtube

Levante - Non me ne frega niente

Sogno
I dream

La pace nel mondo
World peace

Ma a casa sono brava a far la guerra
But when at home I’m good at waging war

La storia è sempre quella
It’s the same old story

Noi siamo tutti uguali
We’re all equal

Ma il colore della pelle conta
But the skin colour counts

Se parte la rivolta
If the revolt begins

Combatto con lo scudo dello schermo
I’ll fight with the shield of my screen

Le armi da tastiera
Keyboard weapons

Di giorno sto in trincea, lancio opinioni fino a sera
I’m in the trench during the day and throw opinions until night-time 

Non me ne frega niente
I do not give a shit

Se mentre rimango indifferente il mondo crolla
If while I remain indifferent the world collapses

E non mi prende
and doesn’t catch me

Non me frega niente
I don’t give a shit

Se mentre la gente grida aiuto io prego non capiti a me
If while people cry for help I pray it won’t happen to me

Non me ne frega niente, di niente
I don’t give a shit about anything

Scorrono immagini porno
Porn pictures pass by

Mi scandalizzo, inizia la bufera
I’m scandalised, the blizzard begins

Codardo chi non c'era
Coward is him who wasn’t there

A scrivere sul diario da che parte sta la verità
To write on his diary where the truth lies

Je suis Paris, madame
I am Paris, Madame

Ma in piazza scendo solo per il cane *
But I only I go down to the square for my dog
* it’s a pun: scendere in piazza can mean both “to take to the streets” and (lit.) “to go down to the square”

Non mi vogliate male
Don’t hate me

Ho sempre poco tempo per lottare senza il modem
I always have so little time to fight without my modem

Non me ne frega niente
I do not give a shit

Se mentre rimango indifferente il mondo crolla
If while I remain indifferent the world collapses

E non mi prende
and doesn’t catch me

Non me frega niente
I don’t give a shit

Se mentre la gente grida aiuto io prego non capiti a me
If while people cry for help I pray it won’t happen to me

Non me ne frega niente, di niente
I don’t give a shit about anything

Non me ne frega niente
I don’t give a shit

Se spente le luci tutto quello che succede non si vede
If once the lights are out you can’t see what’s happening

“Cry Followup”, or “See A Doctor! The Musical”

I got sad. A doctor recommended that I go off my anxiety meds because they might be interfering with a bunch of other health issues. I did. It wasn’t good.

I tapered off for months and dealt with the withdrawal symptoms. When they were gone, I felt ok for a few weeks. Then I was easily irritated and sometimes angry. Then weird feelings started to creep in. I guess it was just dread. Maybe it was weird to just be feeling anything after being numbed on meds for so long. I started crying watching movies sometimes or thinking about whatever the fuck. I started getting really sad. Eventually I would cry everyday, sometimes for multiple sessions. It’s strange to think back on that now that I’m safely numbed to fuck again.

My grandfather had died about 8 months earlier and I thought I had emotionally exhausted that, but now it was back and I dwelt on it constantly. I thought of dying with an urgency that I couldn’t distract myself from. I thought of everyone I knew dying. It felt like time was an illusion and it wouldn’t be long until I’m standing beside their open coffins, reflecting on how quickly time had passed and now they’re gone and I’d wasted time not spending more time with them.

Most days I’d just wake up and lie there for hours. I’d try to look at things on my phone to try to distract myself. Snapchat was fun for that. Christ, so was Miitomo. I wouldn’t get any work done. It was difficult to focus and overcome the feeling in my gut of being pulled down and the constant present terror feelings of death and knowing this whole experience will be gone some day, but before that, I’ll watch everyone I know leave too. For a long time, I don’t think I really connected that it was my absence of meds that was doing this to me. I thought maybe it was just circumstances and some kind of Holmes-Rahe scale thing where a bunch of life events happening at once were stacking and compounding my depression feelings. There was no way to win against it and this kind of thing encourages you to not to the things that will typically pull you out of a depression. It makes you want to seclude yourself more and work on further diminishing your self-worth mentally. Instead of seeing friends or doing activities you enjoy, you convince yourself that you’re a burden to them, they don’t really want to see you anyway, and that something bad is going to happen if you go out and do anything. For so many fucking days I just laid there. That makes your depression even worse; your lack of productivity frustrates you and makes you hate yourself. All that wasted time boils your living asshole. It’s a paralysis and you don’t know why you can’t break out of it. You can’t just go into the other room and sit at your computer and do your work. Brains are incredible. Just a bit of absence from a certain chemical changes everything. Of course, you tell yourself things like this, that it’s not really you and that it’s just a biological ineptitude temporarily and that everything will be fine soon enough, but that doesn’t help at all.

That’s the other thing: you don’t feel like this will ever end. This is who you are now. A fucking shrivelled terrified cryhole. I did feel terror quite a few times during all this. It usually gets you when you wake up or try to go to sleep. Everything is still and You are going to fucking die someday, sooner than you think and You have wasted every moment of your life so far blast in your mind and your heart pounds, you can barely breathe, and you might even suddenly groan as panic waves hit your brain in an instant. There’s a terror in knowing there’s no relief from this; that all of these things are true and for some reason you believed the illusion your whole life and weren’t always in the perfect terror about it that you are now. Still, you beg for that trick to come back, to be able to put this mindset away and believe in the stupid shit we tell ourselves just to keep existing in some kind of calm. All these thoughts keep assaulting you with some kind of biological urgency, like you need to figure this problem out immediately or you die. This is what being on chemicals to help your brain for years and then suddenly going off them is like. Your body doesn’t know what the fuck. It’s weird to not give a shit about any of this and then suddenly imperatively have to give a shit about it and be unable to escape it. Even now when I’m in the clear, I still feel its background noise. Maybe I always will from now on. This whole thing has been a Paul on the road to Damascus type ordeal.

I fucking cried watching the new X-Files episodes, my dude. Probably during each one. That’s what it was fucking like. Imagine being in your late ass twenties and something in the X-Files makes you cry because you think of a squandered opportunity, or what you should or shouldn’t have done as a kid, or wishing you had put more effort into certain relationships with family or friends. It just finds anything to grab onto and get you with. You just have a dragging feeling constantly present and looking for things to attach to and convince you you’re sad about. Frankly, it’s fucking annoying. I cried one time because a nintendo phone app was enthusiastic about sharing my character’s picture with others. Just the fact that someone would have an interest in who I am and treat me like a normal person and want to share something about me with other terrible avatars made me cry as I was playing this thing and trying to take a shit. It made me think about my own self-worth and how long I thought there was no reason anyone should give a fuck. Cripe, one time I was almost screaming crying about my best friend who died when we were 11. It was like a fresh wound again and I was lying facedown on my bed wailing like an asshole. Depression can fuck with you.

So, this got pretty bad and I decided I had to see my GP about it. This can become a battle in itself, because past a certain point, you are convinced you aren’t worth the effort and that you’re a burden to have to deal with, and someone else could use that time to see the doctor instead. It gives you any reason to turn yourself down. I cried right away talking to my doctor. All this is really weird to reflect on; I was an entirely different person then. It was like a frantic sadness, an inability to just hold your shit together for even a few minutes. The impending terror was really pressing; a constant urgent anxiety that something bad is going to happen really soon, or that I’m about to get a call that someone I know just died. The doctor recommended seeing a therapist and going back on meds. Now I remember that the reason I finally did something was because my neighbour’s son killed himself. Fuck, that really bothered me. Hearing about any death at all was bad enough, but I think that week I was reading about Edgar Allan Poe’s death and then Vincent Van Gogh’s, and I just got really fixated on vividly imagining their final moments. I think there were others, too. See? Just a stupid thing to waste your time on but in the moment, you think this will help for some reason. Maybe the gravity of that kind of thing hooks you and you can’t help but look into it. So when my neighbour’s son also committed suicide, that was a pretty strong blow. I hadn’t even talked to the guy in over ten years, but I couldn’t help but fixate on having seen his father maybe 3 days prior as he joked in my mom’s backyard and borrowed a ladder. Now his life was ruined and the son he struggled to try to get mental help his whole life had killed himself. He was only 37 and he had a son. I think I spent a few days of weeping out my stupid ass over this, then made the decision to see my doctor.

I started seeing my therapist and cried within 6 minutes of entering his office. I wish I went to see a talk doctor when I was recommended it as a teenager. It’s good shit. Beyond that, I started seeing my friends again. Before this, I think 2 years had passed between us spending time together. I had talked myself into feeling like they were better off without me anyway and had their own real friends and lives that I didn’t have anything to do with. I started to exercise and even just take walks around the block. Sometimes, if I was just lying awake staring at the ceiling, I’d get up and go for a run. I started being able to work on videos again and looked forward to it. Thinking back on it now, I realize I kept streaming during the whole time. That would become the only thing I’d do or look forward to for most of this stretch. SO THANKS IF YOU LOOKED AT MY TERRIBLE STREAMS DURING THIS ERA I WAS QUITE WOUNDED AND I’M HOPEFUL THAT I WASN’T TREMENDOUSLY OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS, YOU HELPED KEEP ME STABLE WATCHING ME PLAY WITH CHILDREN’S TOYS. Beyond this, I’d just sleep until the afternoon and try to find a way to kill time until the streams started. This is why there were even less videos than usual. I was sad.

So, these things helped pull me out of the shit. A lot of it is self-examination and discovering why you feel this way in the first place. I’ve talked to my therapist about whether or not this whole thing was because of being on meds for so long and then going off them and feeling a withdrawal, or if that’s who I am underneath the medication.  He said that it is probably both, but more that that’s who I am. Fuck. He categorized this as a major depressive episode. It was weird to just hear the words. That is the kind of thing that happens to people in their mid-30s in office jobs who are getting shit on by everything in their lives. I guess it can also make you feel like a diva asshole; that you feel you’re so important that you had to have this major crisis about yourself. Writing this makes me realize how stupid it is to think like this, but that’s the kind of trap you get put into. Anyway, let me emphasize how important it is to see a therapist if you are depressed. Do it. It can change everything. Also talk to a doctor and see if meds are part of your solution. See a doctor. Do not just let it go. This is like if you had cancer and you just wanted to wait it out or hoped it would get better on its own. A lot of people let it go until it’s overwhelming and consumes them completely and just kill themselves to end the pain. Don’t!

I got better. I went on meds and in just a few weeks I made a drastic improvement. Plus the therapy, and plus feeling like I was doing anything with my life again. I hear a lot about hesitation to go on meds because you feel like they may change the foundation of who you ever are. This doesn’t happen. For me, it made me feel more free to be who I felt like I really was. That said, it may numb your emotions if you are a person who typically feels a lot of things. Just talk to a doctor about any concerns you have and don’t let these build up and become reasons you don’t get help for yourself. You are worth it. The doctor isn’t angry to have to deal with you. If it will cost what you can’t afford, don’t let that become an excuse not to do it. Save up or find a way to make it work. Again, it’s like if you couldn’t afford cancer treatments so you just let it kill you instead of finding out how you can make the situation work financially. What you’re dealing with is serious! Do something about it!

I almost forgot to mention that a lot of getting better was having something to look forward to. Knowing I’d see my friends and we’d have a good time was part of it. Another was spending all of my fucking money to go to as many conventions as I could. They were something I enjoyed in the past but didn’t bother with much anymore, so I decided to get back into them. It was the best choice. Thanks for coming to drink a lot of beers and talk shit if I saw you at a PAX or TwitchCon or Magfest! They were sincerely some of the best times of my life. Knowing that it wouldn’t be long until I’d be at another convention helped a lot with otherwise feeling complete dread. The power of giving yourself something great to look forward to is really strong! Do it! Find things you like and make time for them. Reward yourself! At one point, I got into a really unbalanced lifestyle and would spend maybe 60 or 70 hours a week editing videos and I burned myself out to shit. All I would think about was the job and let my health and relationships go to shit. You’re not supposed to do that. Give yourself good things and make it a habit. Anyway, PAX East soon, my man.

When I wrote my last crypost, a lot of people responded it it. I was in a daze for the rest of that day as I heard from a mountain of individuals. A lot of you deal with issues like this and a lot of you feel hopeless about it. It’s fucked up! This is your life! You’re entitled to a good one! Doing something about it will take a lot less than you may think, and will help you in a lot more ways and probably faster than you may think. A lot of you also said since that you’ve decided to finally get help. So yeah motherfucker I had a cool cry about your messages several times. What was also helpful was anonymous tumblr questions saying they got help so others could see your experiences and know I’m not just yelling out my dick about this. Thanks! You helped people!

Ok I think I have to cut this short now, it got late and I try not to stay awake until fucking 7 AM these days. I feel like I missed a few of the main points I wanted to make but by now I think you get the point that you can feel like you are going to face total annihilation within the next few moments and still get back to normal in very little time. I almost just wrote “Hopefully talking about my own cringe-ass experience helped you with…” and so forth to end this on a light-hearted self-shitting, but that again is part of the problem. Feeling as if your issues are embarrassing, not worthy, juvenile, or to be written off as not serious is no good. I know we joke about this kind of thing to help deal with it, but don’t feel that way for real. AGAIN, YOU’RE WORTH IT. YOU’RE GOOD! YOU’RE WORTH DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FEEL NOT FUCKED UP! GO! 


Go!

Lance Drawings

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Am I a terrible person who has forgotten about this for weeks on end? Yes. Yes I am. But here is some more:

  • Coran heard Hunk gasp and looked over at him, only to see him start to cry.
  • Coran then saw his own picture
  • It was of him gazing proudly at his family as he paraded his nephew along on his shoulders
  • Coran asked Hunk where he had gotten that picture
  • Hunk said that it was a drawing
  • Coran was astounded
  • With one glance at each other, Coran and Hunk knew what had to be done.
  • They split up and started running around the castle randomly, calling out everyone’s names in the hope that they could be snagged for the next Team Meeting™
  • As Coran rounded a corner calling out Allura’s name, he ran smack-dab into Pidge
  • Normally when something like that happened, Pidge would just ignore the interruption and continue on with her work. But this time, she stopped dead in her tracks and gaped at him.
  • “Y-you have ABBS!” she screeched. A minute later, after her rant about abs and how he was “too old” for them, Coran gently stopped her.
  • “My dear,” he started, slightly confused, “We can talk about my ‘Rock-hard motherfucking abb’s’ later. For now, follow me.”
  • still shocked, she followed.
  • One at large paladin down, four more to go
WHAT AN ENTP WANTS TO SAY TO ALL OF THE TYPES.

RATIONALS (NT)

ENTJ-  You scare me. You are such and incredible leader, how do you do that?? But also I hate authority and feel a need to disagree with you at every turn because you’re so bossy. You’re not as cool as you think you are, but you’re almost as cool as you think you are and that’s pretty damn cool. Be my friend.

ENTP- Fuckin’ chill out you memelord. You’re either coasting through life or putting WAY to much effort into shit. You’re a bit of a narcissistic fuck but you’re still my favourite type (*coughs*). You’re too excitable and too much of a dick and you’re personality doesn’t make sense. Stop being mean to you’re friends. Learn to be more comfortable with emotions, it’ll be important later on in life. Be the friend that can cheer others up with jokes when they don’t really wanna talk about what’s wrong.

INTJ- You’re cool, you get shit done and you’re a bit of a supervillian. What’s not to love? You’re a rare bird. There aren’t many of you out there, but you are important. If you weren’t here, who else would the ENFP’s annoy? You’re a behind the scenes leader most of the time, pulling the strings from a safe (and smart distance) but you aren’t afraid to get you’re hands dirty. You’re good at shit.But don’t forget, you’re not superhuman. Remember other people have these pesky things called emotions, be wary of them STILL i want you to be proud of you’re inherent assholeness.

INTP-  Mad scientist. I’m constantly searching for your approval because of my unresolved daddy issues and it freaks me out. Yes, you are a daddy. Some of you have your heads shoved up a little too far in you’re own arse. Just because you’re introverted and intuitive and darn cold, does not make you better than others honey. Basically, you’re a condescending shit. But hey I still put you on this weird pedestal, so we’re both guilty. You’re the genius on tv shows that isn’t diagnosed but falls on the aspergers spectrum somewhere.

IDEALISTS (NF)

ENFJ-  Baby, I worship the ground you walk on. You are so cool, calm and controlled while still being awesome, enthusiastic and excitable. Don’t be my friend, date me. But stop trying to fix everything. Think about yourself a lil okay buddy, and use logic sometimes too. Actually scratch all that, you’re perfect, I love you.

ENFP-  You are a beautiful, annoying bastard. You’re too nice and I don’t feel comfortable making mean jokes at your expense (because you’d probably take it seriously and cry yourself to sleep), but you have effortless charm. Stop thinking about the individual and start thinking about the bigger picture, you’re not realistic. Be my friend, but not like close friend, y'know.

INFP-  Hello, the human equivalent of tumblr. Fuck. People either love you or hate you. I don’t know where I fall on that scale tbh. Sometimes you’re just a little too much honey, I’m not sensitive enough for you. Other times you are too precious for this world and I just wanna wrap you up in a blanket and protect you. I am strangely attracted to you despite how awkward you probably think you are. You have a lot of knowledge in that head of yours. Be that person I have a weird co-dependant relationship with, that really isn’t healthy but I can’t exactly live without you and I’m not sure why.

INFJ- Ah INFJ, I haven’t met many of you but BOY, are the ones I know pretentious. You’re one of the least common MBTI type, and you probably know and take pride in this. You’re good at reading people, I know, but you can just talk to me instead of analyse from a distance bud. You’re ultimately very cool and creative, a little bit of a know it all but it’s justified. You’re a sweet bundle of joy and I love you. Be my best friend. You’re good at being a friend. Really good.

GAURDIANS (SP)

ESFP-  I like you a lot kid, you remind me of a younger me. We shouldn’t get along but I love/envy you. You’re caring and you have a great childlike spirit. Make some art and ramble to me some more. I seriously appreciate you so much. You bring me back down to  the ‘now’ with you’re crazy impulsive attitude and caring demeanour. Just learn to listen to me a lil more when I tell you you’re thinking with you’re heart instead of you’re brain again. You do it a lot, buddy. Be my lover.

ESTP-  You’re cool man. You’re Ferris Bueler. You’re a salesman that’s constantly selling me on your personality. Look we get it, you’re good with one liners and you’re athletic and everyone loves you, but also hey, think about others you little sociopathic flirt. Also, sometimes people really DO know more than you, I know! Crazy. Be my Idol.

ISFP-  You probably reaallly like music. Chill out buddy, I don’t know much about you but you seem stressed and too fierce for ur adorable demeanour. I know you are your own individual beautiful creative person, you don’t need to tell me. People DO care about you, i know sometimes you doubt that, but you got this life in the bad. You’ll probably never grow out of your angsty teen years tbh but it’s okay, find yourself an ISFJ and you’ll be okay.

ISTP-  So you’re just as cool but less attainable, loner ESTP. You’re in control of your own everything but also out of control and mildly self destructive? Be the mysterious kid I rarely talk to, but everytime I do I fall in love with you a little bit.

ARTISANS (SJ)

ESFJ-  Hey there soldier. In the best case scenario, you’re cutie Monica Geller, that’s a lil anal and mildly manipulative but really! very! sweet!. In the worst case scenario you are literally my worst nightmare. Your the squad’s glue tho. Sometimes you offer a cool third perspective, but you over simplify things and don’t try to understand my crazy theories and that’s annoying. Learn to get over yourself a lil, stop playing the victim buddy and compromise. Be my friend in a few years when you learn to self reflect better.

ESTJ-  You’re a manipulative bitch. You’re so judgemental, you’re Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls. You’re pretty cool. Even more of a rampant psycho than ENTJ. I don’t like you all that much (and something tells me you don’t really care) but I respect you a LOT. Stay a safe distance away from me and please don’t judge me. You’re too savage.

ISFJ-  Hey my emo saviour. You understand everybody and nobody truly understands you. You’re the reliable Colin Firth that the world of Bridget Jones’s run to after their crazy escapades with Hugh Grant. Just remember to have standards baby, and don’t accept everyone that runs into you’re arms. You’re worth more than what most people are willing to give. Be my favourite sweet emotional little kid brother (even if you are female.)

ISTJ-  You say 'interesting’ a lot. If life were a tv show, you’d be a sassy little hate muffin that tumblr idolised that everyone would remark didnt get enough screen time. You’re all business and sometimes you should let down that gaurd fam :) Think about people a little bit more bud. I respect you. I’ll be your friend! But it will probably take three years to build up our relationship and it will probably be accidental, but im here for u anyway.

The moon signs when they’re emotional

Aries: I’M GOING TO PUNCH A WALL!!!!!! WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BE OUT TO GET ME???? CAN’T I LIVE??? I’M SO UPSET AND WHY DOES NO ONE CARE??? MY EMOTIONS ARE THE #1 PRIORITY RN!!!! *blames someone else for their problems* (5 minutes later is over it)

Taurus: why life wHY?????? I didn’t want to mOVE today let alone CRY *crawls into a hole full of blankets and sobs into a bag of chips*

Gemini: oh lol whatever idk why my eyes are wet but I’m just gonna ignore this and hope it’ll go away tomorrow

Cancer: I just love to fEeEeEeL things :(((((( I’m going to cry and think about the reasons why I’m crying and maybe look at old pictures and write a poem and cry more *eats an entire carton of ice cream*

Leo: I can’t cRy in fRonT of PEOPLE!!! I have too much pRiDe!!!!! *throws head back and struts their stuff* (10 minutes later they have a dramatic emotional show just for the benefit of everyone else)

Virgo: am I actually feeling this or am I just projecting my feelings into this moment so that I can get them out? what do these feelings mean? what does the fact that I’m questioning my feelings mean? is that another feeling? is life even real? I hate myself I’m so INCOMPETENT *hysterical crying*

Libra: nOOOOO this means cONFLICT!!!!!! I can’t have this in my life!!!!!! maybe if I hold this in nothing will happen. I definitely won’t bother anyone else about it because that would be tOO MUCH FOR ME I can’t put burden on others

Scorpio: *has straight face* this is just another case of the darkness inside my soul

Sagittarius: haha WHATEVER!!!!!! gonna go run away from this bc who needs this kind of drama in life?!?!?! not me!!!!!!!! I’m fiiiiiine those aren’t tears it’s just a piece of dust in my eye

Capricorn: I need…to pull…myself…together….must…look…like…everything…is…normal… *has mental breakdown alone*

Aquarius: emotions???? I don’t have emotions lol what are those??? I’m aBOVE that so I’m just going to focus on the fact that society is so corrupted or something!!! there are way more important issues that MY feelings

Pisces: I…just CAN’T deal with life anymore…I need to eScApE I’m drowning in my own tEARS *sobs*

little dog models on the prairie

anonymous asked:

Andrew and Neil go to an amusement park where Neil gets lost and Andrew *definitely does not* panic and worry, please! You are so amazing!

So like I kind of kept to the prompt??? Amusement park became State Fair, and Andrew and Neil lowkey became all the Foxes??? I’m sorry???

The parking area is already filled to the brim when they arrive. Andrew is pretty sure this doesn’t even count as a parking lot; the large field weighed down by rows upon rows of cars. There are numerous people in reflective yellow jackets using neon orange cones to direct traffic, and Andrew follows the line of cars to the next available spot. Matt’s truck pulls in beside the Maserati, and everyone climbs out, smiles out and wide in anticipation. Families and groups of teens alike weave their way through the cars around them, their chatter and laughter carrying on the breeze. It’s almost enough to drown out the screams and music coming from the Fair.

Despite it only being early October, the air has a chill to it with the sun gone, so the Foxes pull on hoodies and jackets before heading towards the epicentre of excitement. The sky is a pale indigo above their heads, a view stars blotching the inky surface, but the bright flashing lights up ahead are quick to wash them out. With each step closer, the scent of fried dough and spun sugar gets stronger, and seems to fuel the buzz reverberating through the group.

It doesn’t take long to get tickets, and then they’re moving through the entrance gate into the fairgrounds. The lights and sounds are even worse in the mix of things. A cacophony of chaos that grates on Andrew’s nerves and twinges at his temples like the start of a headache. He briefly wonders why he even agreed to come to the State Fair, but he finds he minds a little less when he takes in Neil’s expression. The striker’s face is bright, and his eyes are wide. The start of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he whips his head around to take everything in.

“Let me guess,” Andrew starts. “You’ve never been to a State Fair before.”

“Actually, I have,” Neil says. “Crowds like these are a great way to lose someone who’s chasing you.”

“Oh my god; that’s so sad,” Matt chimes in. “You need the full Fair experience, Neil! We’ll start with the Tilt-a-Whirl.”

“The tilt a what?”

Keep reading

2

THANK YOU SO MUCH @KYZURYA FOR THE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT I’M IN LOVE 😍

IMAGINE JANE SITTING ALONE ON HER COUCH, FOR THE MOMENT SHE’S OKAY BUT THEN SUDDENLY FAITH N. WHISKERS III JUMPS UP NEXT TO HER AND RIGHT WHEN JANE IS ABOUT TO PUSH THE CAT DOWN SHE REMEMBERS HOW MUCH MICHAEL LOVED THAT STUPID CAT. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHE HUGS THE CAT WHO SMELLS A LITTLE BIT LIKE MICHAEL; NOT BECAUSE THE CAT SMELLS LIKE MICHAEL BUT BECAUSE MICHAEL USED TO SMELL LIKE THE CAT BECAUSE HE HUGGED HER SO MUCH. AND HOW HIS PANTS USED TO BE COVERED IN DARK CAT HAIR, HOW LITERALLY EVERYTHING USED TO BE COVERED IN CAT HAIR, EVEN THE FOOD. AND JANE USED TO THINK IT WAS GROSS WHEN SHE FOUND HAIR IN HER DINNER BUT MICHAEL USED TO LAUGH AND SAY THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER CAUSE AT LEAST THE CAT IS CUTE BUT WHEN JANE GAVE HIM THAT LOOK HE ADDED “BUT SHE’S NOT AS CUTE AS MR SWEETFACE.” AND THE CAT IS MEOWING OUTSIDE JANE’S THE DOOR AND SHE DOESN’T WANNA GET OUT OF BED CAUSE WHAT’S THE POINT WHEN MICHAEL IS GONE? BUT THEN SHE REMEMBERS HOW MICHAEL USED TO PUT OUT FOOD AT EXACTLY 8 O'CLOCK EVERY MORNING CAUSE APPARENTLY THAT’S THE BEST TIME TO GIVE CATS FOOD? AND SHE KNOWS THAT SHE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THE STUPID CAT BECAUSE SHE WAS SO IMPORTANT TO MICHAEL. AND THEN, A FEW YEARS LATER, THE CAT DIES AND JANE BREAKS DOWN BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONE THING SHE STILL HAD LEFT OF MICHAEL, NOW HE’S TRULY GONE. AND SHE CHANGES HER FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE TO ONE OF HER HOLDING FAITH N. WHISKERS III BECAUSE SHE REMEMBERS HOW MICHAEL’S PROFILE PICTURE WHEN THEY MET WAS OF HIM AND HIS OLD CAT BECAUSE SHE HAD JUST DIED AND JANE REMEMBERS THAT TIME THEY WERE YELLING AT EACHOTHER AT THE POLICE STATION. AND JANE NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW MICHAEL COULD LOVE A CAT AS MUCH AS HE DID BUT SUDDENLY, AS SHE CRIES OVER FAITH’S PASSING, SHE UNDERSTANDS. SHE UNDERSTANDS JUST HOW MUCH A CAT CAN MEAN TO A PERSON AND ALL SHE WANTS IS FOR MICHAEL TO BE THERE NEXT TO HER SO SHE CAN TELL HIM ABOUT HER RECENT REALIZATION.

Stalker

Harry Styles could be easily described as a gentleman, sweet, loving and caring. No one in the public eye had caught him mad ever, even with all the hate he received daily. And to everyone he was always nice, his tone low, sweet, slow. His eyes evergreen, dimples showing. His mantra was “There is no need of violence when you can always talk things out.” A huge fan of peace.

You and Harry have been a couple for almost three years and two in the public eye. Those had been the weirdest yet happiest years of your life. Harry was the sweetest man alive, always worried about your safety, your confort. However he could not do much as you were hated as much as he was loved but you tried to push that aside and enjoy your road with him.

Right now the two of you were at a fancy restaurant, celebrating a friend´s birthday- well, Harry´s friend. You did not know anyone there, you could recognize some faces, yes, but no one to talk to, everyone was in their own world. Harry knows so many people that even after all the years you have known him, seemed like you just could not meet them all. You felt bad for Harry because he could not really enjoy the party, talk to his friends because he had to be with you, so you excused yourself to the toilet so he could talk to some of his friends.

Once you were out of it you stopped for a drink but before you could even take it a waiter approached you with another drink. “Excuse me Miss, the gentleman of that table send you this with a message.” The waiter politely handed you the napkin that could read “I know you think I am hot, you can meet me at the toilet right now and we could have the best night of your life.” You looked at him, he was young and definitely hot, but still creepy, so you told the waiter to give that man the drink back and to tell him that you had a boyfriend and were no interested in his offer.

Before you could even get an answer you ran directly to where Harry was, talking to a couple of friends “Rob and Janine” as they introduced themselves. You tried your best to keep the conversation but you could feel the man´s eyes on you all night, and you wished your dress would be a little less tight.

Now it was Harry´s turn to go to the washroom, and soon enough a couple of hands were holding you tight by the waist. It was him. He made you turn around so now you were facing his chest, his breathing in the back of your neck and you were too shocked to even move a muscle. “You better don´t try anything sweetheart, I have three of my best man near the men´s bathroom, and a single whine can make your dear boyfriend stay in the hospital for a whole month or even better, a free ticket to the grave.” He was leading you to the exit, while pretending that you were dancing. You didn´t want Harry to be hurt. Small sobs left your mouth as fear took over your body. “No, please, do not hurt him.” He laughed in the most evil way possible that only made you feel sick. “Oh love, is you that I want. I have been wanting you for me since the first time I laid my eyes on you. I am your biggest fan, I have tweeted you every single day, I have all your Instagram pictures in my phone, I even have an account about us, the only one getting in our way is that dork you call boyfriend, killing him would only make us a favor” You could only cry. Of course he was the stalker that never let you alone on any social network, you remember those sexual tweets, the horrid comments on Instagram, his phone number on any post you made. The threats to Harry on your feed. All from him.

The room was full but nobody noticed your fear. 

Soon you were outside and noticed Ruben, your bodyguard waiting for you and Harry and muttered a HELP ME without being noticed by the man that was pulling you inside a limo. Where are the paps now that they are needed you thought. But of course it had to be a private party at the outside of the city. 

Then everything happened fast. The stalker was now on the floor and Harry on the top of him hitting him hard, with so much rage, blood was coming out of the stalkers face. “YOU DO NOT TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND EVER, YOU DO NOT TRY TO GET HER AWAY FROM ME, SICK IDIOT. LET. US. ALONE.” You wanted to stop him but were too shocked to. You searched for Ruben but he  was fighting with two men and one was lying on the floor. You looked back to Harry, his hands full of blood and you screamed… “HARRY, STOP, YOU ARE GONNA KILL HIM.” He heard your voice, so scared. He stopped punching the guy and looked at you, so vulnerable and crying that he felt like crying too. “Oh love.”

He had seen it all. When the man pulled you to dance but thought he was a friend, then he noticed, how you were dragged out of the restaurant. A man tried to grab him but Harry was faster, once he was out he noticed how you muttered HELP and ran over the guy as Ruben took the three guys behind Harry. God, he felt furious, rage, anger but most of all fear, the fear of losing his love, the air he needed to breath, his other half and the only way he found to express that was to punch the one that tried to take you away from him. He had never felt that way, so vulnerable himself. He could not bear it. And that is when he noticed how much he really needed you, your angelic voice, your laugh, your eyes and hair, your love.

He could never make it without you.

don’t wanna be your girl no more

Request: Hey, could you do an imagine where lately boyfriend! Calum has been drinking and getting high and he’s ignoring y/n and she’s had enough so she breaks up with him while he’s high and he doesn’t really care then but after she’s gone he like has a breakdown or something

quick note: I kinda based this off “don’t wanna be your girl” by wet so if u wanna listen to a song with this that’s a good one!! and that’s what I’m calling it now i guess 

You sighed to yourself as you looked around the dimly lit living room. You were alone again, in the apartment your boyfriend and you shared. You’d been sitting on the couch for nearly thirty minutes, waiting for him to return because he’d gone to get more beer. But as the minutes ticked by you suspected he got more than that.

You were suffocating in an empty apartment. You felt tears pricking at your eyes as you thought over the past couple of weeks. He’d been drinking and getting high as a regular part of his day. It was like he needed it to go on, like it was up there with breathing in importance and you weren’t on the list at all. He was obviously struggling with something but you’d asked him if he was okay and he just laughed at you like you were stupid for asking.

You decided to give him time and space but it was beginning to be too much. Maybe there wasn’t something wrong with him, he just didn’t care about the relationship anymore. And if that was true, then it was time to let go. You sighed thinking that thought. You loved Calum. You loved him with all your heart, and you thought he loved you the same. You were so happy with him for the year and a half you’d been together.  Of course, there were ups and downs but this seemed like rock bottom.

You get up from your spot on the couch, going into the kitchen and getting some water. Leaning against the counter for a few moments resulted in an idea. You needed to think about this. You were being irrational, you thought, as the thought popped into your mind. It was killing you to be thinking like this but it killed you even more to think he wasn’t thinking about you at all.

So twenty minutes later, when Calum came through the door laughing to himself, you’d made your decision. Since it was his apartment before you moved in, you had already texted your friend and asked to stay with her.

He came in holding a six pack of beer in one hand and his keys in the other. You watched as he set the beer down and closed the door, shrugging off his jacket and draping it over a chair in the kitchen. The sounds of a beer bottle being opened echoed through the hollow apartment. You were dying to get out of there, feeling like any second you could be swallowed into the emptiness.

He walked past you, to the patio, a joint hanging between his fingertips. You sighed as he shut the door behind him and went to your shared room to get your things together. You packed some clothes, throwing your brush, toothbrush, toothpaste and other toiletry items in. You put your laptop and chargers into the duffel bag and grabbed your backpack for Uni and put all your school stuff in it. Looking around the room once more, you saw the clock; thirty more minutes had gone by.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you went into the living room and set your bags down. You had to tell him you were leaving, finally getting out of his way. Some part of you hoped he’d stop you, but of course he wouldn’t. Not when he was high. Maybe that was easier.

You slid the sliding glass door back and he didn’t even look up at you. “Calum?” You said after a few seconds of silence. He was staring at the setting sun but turned to look at you. You could see his bloodshot eyes from a few feet away.

“Yeah?” His hoarse voice almost made you cry as you looked into his empty eyes. This was it. Now or never.

“I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving? Where are you going? The mall?”

“No, uh,” You paused, looking at the ground. “I’m leaving you.” You looked back up at him as the words came out. He stared blankly at you.

“Oh,” Not oh as in he was hurt, oh as in he understood what he was previously confused about. “Okay.” He turned back to stare at the setting sun. You looked at your now ex boyfriend with the hollowness of the apartment now finding a home in your chest.

“I’ll miss you forever.” You whispered.

“What?”

“Nothing.” You went back inside and got your bags, going to your car and getting in before letting yourself cry. You were almost yelling fuck at the top of your lungs before you were ready to leave.

In the morning you woke up next to your friend. She was still asleep and for that you were glad because you wanted to go get some fresh air alone. You got out of bed, careful not to disturb her, and grabbed your phone. You went to her patio and sat down, watching the people walking by and the cars. You checked your phone to see it was 12:33, and you didn’t bother looking at the notifications on your screen. You didn’t care what anyone had to say, so you didn’t notice they were all Calum texting and calling.

You and Ryan had stayed up late talking about everything so you’d slept in late too. Sitting here now, not thinking about things too intensely, it didn’t hurt so bad. But as soon as you let Calum into your mind you were silently crying to yourself, observing the beach goers.

You finally looked at your phone screen when it began vibrating in your shaky hands. Your phone lit up with a picture of you kissing Calum’s cheek with a display of different hearts at the top. He was calling you and you couldn’t bring yourself to answer. You let it go to voicemail and watched as it became the eleventh missed call from him. You unlocked your phone and went to your messages, clicking on his thread.

8:03 am
Y/n I’m so sorry about last night I was high out of my mind and I didn’t realize what was happening

8:15 am
I’m really really sorry and I’m so worried about you right now
8:17am
I’m such a dick, I know that, but I can’t leave you alone until I know you’re safe
8:45am
Y/n please answer my calls or text me back. I need to know you’re alright
9:06am
I know you’re probably getting annoyed and you don’t want to talk but if you’d just text me back I’d leave you alone
10:23am
I love you with all my heart I wasn’t in my right mind, can you please come home and we can talk about this??

At this point the tears were steadily streaming down your face. You looked away, eyes flashing between people on the beach. Your heart was breaking as you read these texts. It was the worst feeling you’ve ever had. After a few moments you decided you could read again.

11:38am
Y/n I can’t do this without you, you know how I feel about you and I don’t know why you left but I really need you to talk to me, you’re killing me

11:47am
God I’m so desperate but I don’t care how I seem or look, I feel like shit and I need to make this right. Y/n, I love you and I can’t believe I let this happen. You’re my whole world!!!

12:03pm
Baby, please give me something..just tell me to shut up! just let me know you’re not dead!!!

12:15pm
i’m going insane Y/n, you know I was never any good without you

Feeling another bullet in your heart, you looked away, sucking in a deep breath of air. You had to finish reading the texts.

12:34pm
I’m sorry if I’m bothering you but I’m not stopping until I get an answer. I have no idea where you are or if you’re safe and as your boyfriend (I hope I can still  be that once we talk) I’m not going to just let you disappear and have the possibility of you being unsafe

Coming to the end of the texts you didn’t know if you wanted to text him back or not.

I’m okay. But that didn’t suffice so you deleted it and stared at the ocean again. The waves came rolling in, hitting the shore. Shrieking children ran through it and parents watched with smiles. Lovers kissed on the beach and in the water, splashing each other and laughing. In this moment, it seemed you were the farthest thing from okay.

Across the city, a storm had barricaded itself in, now, Calum’s apartment. He laid on the floor of the bedroom battling hyperventilating and sobbing. “Fuck!” He yelled, still clutching his phone in a death grip. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” His words got quieter as he kept repeating them until he was mumbling them under his breath.

He sat up, leaning against the bed frame, looking at the mess he’d made. The clothes you didn’t take were in a heap on the bed where he’d been laying before. He’d thrown his shoes at the wall in anger and then sobbed while he put them away again. He accidentally broke a lamp coming back into the room earlier and still hadn’t cleaned it up. His eyes caught on the shards of glass now and they stared back. “Fearless, huh?” He snorted, tearing his bloodshot eyes away from the lamp.

“Not me.” He sighed. “I’m scared to death.” His eyes traveled to the picture frames on the dresser. “I’m scared to death of what I could lose. Of what I did lose.” The soft hum of electricity was the only thing he could hear. “And the fucked up thing is I lost her in the first place because I pushed her away because I was scared to lose her.” He laughed cruelly at the nonexistent punchline.

“Yeah, that’s the fucked up thing.” He shook his head, thinking that he was, in fact, the fucked up thing in this situation. “Love sucks. … I suck.” He sighed. A few minutes of silence draped over the room but were interrupted by the dinging of his phone. 

He quickly scrambled to find it in the messy room, finding it on the bed under a few shirts. He pressed the home button, immediately finding your contact name on his screen. 

Her😈💖😍

I don’t wanna be your girl no more. 

edit: people keep messaging me about this: i am still watching the clone wars, i had no idea ahsoka leaves the order because i am still watching it. kindly do not spoil it for me.


idk what ahsoka’s ultimate fate is bc like yoda says ‘ur the last jedi luke’ so shs probably dead bUT

CONSIDER: an au or somthing where ahsoka dOESnt die and, is, in fact, alive and well and like about seventy in the sequels or something and is all old and cranky around rey

[luke voice[ “you knew my father?”

“yeah one time i walked in on him and he had this framed picture of your mother and was crying”