i am a hipster i know

Writing in a coffee shop. In the study area there’s me, 7 other girls, and 1 dude whose name is probably Chad. Because Chad is the way that he is, he zeroes in on a pretty girl with her laptop out & headphones on and his thought process is like, “She totally wants me to talk at her for 20 minutes." 

So he chats her up, and when he’s about to leave he asks for her number. She politely says no. He’s all, "Then why did you talk to me? What’s your problem?” etc and finally stomps off in a huff like the grown ass man he is. His parting shot: “Well, GOOD LUCK making it as an actor.” (After which I’m assuming he high fived himself and whispered, “Nice one Chad.”) 

After he leaves, there’s like 5 seconds of silence before EVERY SINGLE GIRL in the study area just fucking CRACKS UP. It was the purest moment of human connection I have ever experienced. We are laughing our asses off. We are imitating Chad’s whiny pissbaby voice. I ask the pretty girl if that actually just happened. She says yes it did. I say, bullet fuckin’ DODGED babe. She laughs. I am reborn. We are all reborn. I don’t know what Chad was working on in this coffee shop, but there is a 100% chance it was 1. a screenplay, and 2. a remake of The Great Gatsby, but like it’s for millennials and a milquetoast white guy named Brent has a threesome with 2 beautiful hipster girls who both fall in love with him. It’s titled BOATS AGAINST THE CURRENT and it, like Chad’s love life, will never take off.

Because these are always handy, here are some Hayikuu fic recommendations for amazing one shots

These are just my favourites I thought I should share with the world. 

Pairings: Iwaoi, Bokuaka, Kuroken, Matsuhana, Kyouhaba, Ennotana


IWAOI:

untitled by snoqualmie -  Words: 1,092

Soft and cute Iwaoi.


Dinner and a Movie by rikke -  Words: 11,010

Fake relationship, do I need to say more?


Holding on to You by lahdolphin -  Words: 11,464

Harry Potter au with twists that left me speechless.


Keep reading

reasons to love day6

jae;

  • A Dork, a lanky palm tree
  • loud at first and then becomes really quiet and listens to/observes other people
  • best facial expressions 
  • is always willing to give up something if he feels like someone else would benefit more from it (eg: when he gave wonpil the last piece during the vlive mukbang
  • wow how did i go this long without mentioning hIS VOicE?!?!?!???? boy knows how to pull off the raspy hipster voice while still clearly expressing emotion
  • when he clears his throat in every single damn radio show cover (+Dance Dance) 
  • casually has all these melodies and beautiful lyrics hidden somewhere in his head 
  • actually a really deep thinker even though on the surface all he does is meme
  • the fact that he already graduated college before he got into the industry so he’s pretty much got himself all figured out 
  • most relatable human (”I am trash but it is worth it” -Jae 2k17)
  • american humour, totally a tumblr dude
  • can someone pls tell him he looks good with or without his glasses he’s so insecure
  • looks like the kind of person that would either be really fun or really boring on road trips

sungjin;

  • Meme Father, busan boy
  • looks serious and intimidating until he does literally anything
  • that look he gets where he’s initially ticked off and then realizes that he should probably just let it go
  • THE RASPY THING HE DOES WITH HIS VOICE 
  • i think i’ve only ever heard him go out of tune once, like ever
  • when he uses the shaker in english song covers
  • that time he said “misunderstanding” on asc
  • he’s so willing to make a fool out of himself for others’ enjoyment (eg: basically any time he dances and he knows everyone’s laughing because he’s horrible but he OWNS IT
  • he’s sassy literally 25/7 he’s so sarcastic bih i LOVE it
  • how he clearly understands what people are saying in english but he just laughs silently and doesn’t respond 
  • he learned how to play so many instruments before he settled on guitar and leader 
  • his aCcENt,, 
  • he dresses himself like a casual fratboy or a farmers child there’s no in-between 

brian;

  • The Middle Child 
  • mediates all conversations between all members always
  • can someone call him YoungK at least once pls
  • is he sleeping or is he jumping off the walls rn who knows could be either one
  • so spontaneous and goes with the flow and super chill
  • relatable university student (”are you ready for your exam?” “no i’m going to study the night before”)
  • when he says CAAAAnada and Toroooonnuh (as a canadian I certify that’s how we say it)
  • he just really loves terry 
  • a lyrical genius,, man in a movie got me shook fam
  • somehow finds time to write and compose almost all day6 songs while still balancing school life and personal life
  • that time wooyoung exposed him by telling the story of how drunk Brian wouldn’t stop saying fuck into the phone
  • how quickly he mastered english even though he only lived in canada for a few years (I know people who’ve been here for 10+ years and they still can’t pronounce the “th” sound it’s difficult ok)
  • how flawlessly he transitions between falsetto and his normal singing voice and then it goes really low and then oh that’s a truMPet
  • does anyone even know what his real hair colour is anymore

wonpil;

  • Personification of Sunshine 
  • his go-to facial expression is to smile as wide as he can
  • the way his whole face and body language changes when he smiles
  • his voice is so unique but he’s got a great range and it’s really strong
  • he tries so hard when speaking in english
  • embraces the fact that he gets weird sometimes and runs with it (”hyung are you a bear”)
  • has written some of the most beautiful lyrics in their songs 
  • winking machine
  • “this dance move is really hard guys seriously try it” 
  • that sound he makes when he’s really confused like EH?? and he just stumbles over his words until it fades into quiet and then he goes AAAH AH AH AH OK 
  • fashion icon 
  • he’s just here to have a good time fam 
  • aegyo king except he spends like a full minute hyping himself up to do it
  • he just really loves dowoon

dowoon;

  • little baby puppy don’t hurt him
  • has so much love for the other members and is so grateful
  • looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kill you 
  • strong af (eg: that time he killed a mosquito and ended up punching a hole in the freaking wall) 
  • sososososososososoo shy and his ears get red but he embraces it and tries to overcome it 
  • when he speaks you’re automatically like ??? did that voice just come out of that smol bean
  • and is actually so sassy and sarcastic??
  • has the best comedic timing 
  • every once in a while he comes out with these sayings that are absolute gems ok;
  • ”dowoon what are your dreams” “I’m so rich that I take the taxi everywhere. actually I don’t take the taxi. I walk.
  • “say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” “superaoefjnoawenfiaweocious” (nailed it)
  • “i’m a man in a….” “ moooovieee~” 
  • when he speaks english (”your eyes like… black hole.”)
  • pretty much grounds the whole group 
  • is taking vocal lessons! pls support this shy puppy
I thought she was sleeping until I heard her call out from across the room, “Will you bring me a glass of water?” I did. Then in her always-sleepy tone and drawl she said, “Do you remember when you were a little boy and you would ask your mama to bring you a glass of water?” Yeah. “You know how half the time you weren’t even thirsty. You just wanted that hand that was attached to that glass that was attached to that person you just wanted to stay there until you fell asleep.” She took the glass of water that I brought her and just sat it down full on the table next to her. Wow, I thought. What am I gonna do with love like this.
—  Dito Montiel

anonymous asked:

High school and friends with benefits au with Seven, Yoosung and Saeran (Zen if you don't write for him). Thank you!

A/N: *(the sheer amount of times i’ve had to “americanise” my spelling is unbelievable. I’m still to stubborn to change colour to color tho)

(Also I have a copious amount of aubergines in my inbox now, ya’ll are so nasty)

Seven

  • “You keep on sexting me in binary and now my friends think i’ve joined a shady hacktivists group ”

You were sitting at lunch with Saeyoung he was explaining about how internet cookies are extremely misleading in the title. You were half concentrating on him and half on what your friends Mina and Jisoo were snickering at. You could tell they were talking about the two of you. After another five minutes of their whispers they finally approached the two of you.

“Okay you two we know what’s going on” Mina said as she slammed her hand on the table.

You and Saeyoung looked at each other both thinking the same thing.

  1. Shit they know we’ve been fucking in the supply closet 
  2. How’d they even find out
  3. Which of the three exits can we make our escape

“So is it cool?” Jisoo asked pulling you both out of your thoughts.

You decided to play innocent by asking what the hell she was talking about.

“Oh come on we both know you and Seven are in a super underground hacktivist group” Mina said her elbow propped on the table in an act of secrecy

“Yeah we saw all those messages you sent in that nerd code” Jisoo piped in nodding in approval, “So spill the beans already”

Seven finally decided to speak up from being unusually silent

“Well girls we’d love to tell you but we’d have to kill you” 

Mina and Jisoo gawked in amazement. You sighed as you realised the deep hole you two had dug for yourselves.

Yoosung

  • “I accidentally told my *mom we were dating after she found your bra under my pillow and now you’re invited to my cousin’s wedding”

“I can’t believe your making me do this” You grumbled as you stalked past countless shops searching for a dress for this stupid wedding. 

“I already apologised like fifty times” 

You ignored his comment following him into a dress store. He scanned the racks looking for something that would please me. He picked out five dresses and piled them into my hands before directing me to the dressing room

~~~

“I just don’t understand how this involves me” you sighed stepping out in a light pink dress with some questionable frills.

“Well what would you do if your mother found a random girl’s bra in your room”

“Don’t you have a sister couldn’t you have said it was hers” You whined now in dark red dress that make you look like ornate blood stain.

“First of all my sister is 12 and second of all I hardly think that’s her style anyway”

“What would you know about style Mr. WearsTheSameRattyHoodieEveryday” you scoffed, “plus if you hadn’t stolen my bra in the first place we wouldn’t be in this situation at all”

“Wha..What..I didn’t steal it I merely kept for safekeeping till i could return it to you”

“Sure, Jan” you muttered “Yoosung you are many things but you ain’t slick”

Yoosung pouted now knowing he’d been caught. You took a glance at the dressing room then back at Yoosung

“So wanna have a quickie in there” You said pointing to the dressing room behind you.

“I swear to god you have a shorter attention span than me,” Yoosung scolded “we came to look for a dress remember?”

“Boo, You’re no fun”

Saeran

(headcanon that Saeran has a hella extensive mourning routine and knows all these natural remedies)

  • “Just cause I let you stay the night doesn’t mean you can use all my eyeliner”

“Who could have guessed ‘scary edgelord Saeran’ has a fucking morning routine” you smirked rising from the bed to see Saeran sat at your vanity table

“Fuck you”

“I already did” you retorted shrugging on one of his oversized shirts.

“Why am I even friends with you?”

“Cause I’m the only one that can deal with your hipster emo ass”

“I thought you liked my ass” he quipped setting down a moisturising cream.

“Cute” you replied now eyeing him as he emptied out your makeup bag picking out the eyeliner.

“Just cause I let you stay the night doesn’t mean you can use all my eyeliner”

Saeran ignored your comment and continued applying it with expert precision you were a bit jealous cause it usually took you like three tries to get it right.

“You better not do a better job than me, i can’t have you showing me up at school”

“Where the fuck do you keep your Vitamin E Oil” Saeran asked exasperated

“Do you even hear yourself, and who the fuck has Vitamin E Oil lying around the house” 

“No wonder your skin is so dry you’ve been living like a savage”

“Boi you about to catch these hands if you make anymore comments about the state of my skin”

~Admin Petty