i am a fat cat

helo i am cat. ma call me oslo and ozzie and fat boy and fat man. am NOT fat just like to lay down lots and eat chikins. love ma but she took me to BAD PLACE where they TOUCH EARS WITH STICKS and STICK SHARPS IN. then ma take me to home and i think ok.

but then!!!! then ma put WATERS in ears!!!!!!!!!

ma is bad and go to prison, yes

anonymous asked:

I am big fat cat. Hooman call me pork bun, jelly donut, dough ball, all delishus fuds. Jealous hooman. If she wud jus ScReEEm everytiem she want fud, she cud be big fat hooman.


Discord Starter Pack -- 01
  • “ she made me cock ” 
  • “ yeah I get that but what do we do now? Maybe kill everyone. ”
  • “ – or you could strap on a fish stick ”
  • “ let’s hope we don’t resort to canniblism ” 
  • “ It’s the “we’re all dead and forever attractive” club ”
  • “ mmm zora sushi ”
  • “ there’s nothing wrong with necrophilia ”
  • “ ____ proposed to me last night in the KFC parking lot in front of a white family ”
  • “ Unless I did get drunk last night and did for whatever reason, propose to ______ in the parking lot of a KFC in front of a white family… ”
  • “ You’ve been through hell and back and you’re going “ewww” at those who lays eggs. ”
  • “ it’s a rat in cat clothing ”
  • “ Now no one’s having foot soup. ”
  • “ More like a dumbass brat with dumbass needs. ”
  • “ i made love with the curry ”
  • “ …Are you actually preg— wait you said gregnant. ”
  • “ Try Craig’s list, i here you can get great boyfriends there ”
  • “ ..how do you hold fuck ”
  • “ why shove her in a closet when you could shove her in a trunk? ”
  • “ you can still be my mistress? ”
  • “ guys have you seen my cat? it has a mask ”
  • “ pudding cat. ”
  • “ is ____ keeping kids hostage? ”
  • “ let this be a lesson to you kids, don’t eat bee larva or you’ll become a cum dumpster and ass eater ”
  • “ now that i have food i want to lay down and sleep like the fat cat i am ”
  • “ the greatest scandal. ____’s pornos. ”
The Right Time

commission for @strawberrysweetlove35. hope you enjoy!

characters: natsu, lucy, happy, mentions of gray and juvia

pairings: nalu, tiny mention of gruvia

word count: 2005

type: fluff

tags: @ftfanfics, @fic-writer-appreciation

“Happy Anniversary, Luce,” Natsu said, handing her a small gift wrapped with a bow.

“Oh! Thank you!” she said, accepting it quickly. It was their three-year anniversary, and they couldn’t be happier. Lucy and Natsu had been going strong for that long, and it had been a lovely ride.

But Lucy couldn’t but help for something that would be more: an engagement ring. As she unwrapped the gift and saw that it was a small black box, she squealed and flung it open with gusto only to find that it was a pair of star earrings in blue that matched her skirt she wore on a regular basis.

“Thank you, Natsu,” she said, trying her hardest not to sound unhappy. They really were beautiful: they shined just like the actual stars in the sky and were made of real white gold dyed with the most gorgeous blue.

Was it so wrong of her to want something that she might never have? She and Natsu never really talked about marriage seriously. Lucy always dreamed of a perfect wedding with an amazing reception and gifts galore, but she knew that wasn’t to happen with Natsu. He would want a wedding held in the guild instead of the beach wedding she desired, and she was sure that he would want beer galore when she yearned for the finest champagne.

As she watched him open his own present, his scarf with their initials woven in red on a tag she created herself, she understood that it was going to be alright if he decided to not propose for a while. She wanted to get married for sure, but she knew that it was up to him to ask her to marry him. If he wanted it, then he for sure was the one that had to do it.

“You ready for our date?” Natsu asked, taking her hand and opening the door.

“Date?” Lucy peered down at her outfit: a sweater and boots with a pleated skirt. “I don’t think I’m dressed for a fancy outing…”

“Nah, you look pretty as always,” Natsu said, turning his head away from her. He thankfully couldn’t see her blush; she knew that if he did he would call her a weirdo.

“Thanks,” she said quietly, her pulse slowly quickening as he opened the door to his truck for her.

Natsu bit his lip as he shut the door. Once he got around to the end of the truck, he took the small velvet box out of his jacket pocket and popped it open, looking at the ring once more.

Today was the day he would propose.

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