i am a cheeseburger

Pick Up Lines (Spideypool Quick Fic)

So this… this got ridiculous lol
For my anon prompt: is that a phone in your back pocket because your ass is calling me

Peter is Andrew Garfield/ Wade is Ryan Reynolds
********************

“Hey did it hurt?”

“Huh?” Peter looked up from brushing the dirt off his suit to see Deadpool peering down at him from the fire escape in the dirty alley.

“Oh. Hey Wade. Did what hurt? Oh the–” he motioned to his dirty suit. “Just took a tumble through a construction yard chasing someone. No biggie.”

“No, I meant did it hurt when you fell from Heaven.” Wade corrected, leering at Spider-Man from behind his mask.

“Good grief.” Peter muttered and turned away. “Don’t you have anything better to do than spy on me and drop terrible pick up lines?”

Well.” Wade dropped onto the ground next to him. “I’d definitely have something better to do if you’d go out with me.”

“I told you no dates.” Peter said firmly. “My identity is very inportant to me, and you need to respect that. Besides–” and now he was grateful his mask covered his blush. “–besides you just like me because I’m covered in spandex.”

“I resent that!” Wade sounded horrified. “While I will admit to staring for hours at your…at your….” his head tilted to the side exaggeratedly, dropping to stare at Peter’s ass. “Sorry, what was I saying?”

“You were agreeing that we’d never date.” Peter said firmly, and shot a web towards the sky, shooting up and out of the alley before Deadpool could say anything else.

“Damn.” He chuckled and scratched at his head. “Spidey playing hard to get.”
*****************
Wade landed with a thump on the roof next to Peter and tossed him a chimi.

“Thank god.” Peter mumbled and shoved his mask up to just above his nose so he could eat. “Thank you so much.”

“No worries.” Wade lifted his own mask to take a bite of his food, and Peter made sure not to look. He didn’t ever look, knowing that if Wade thought for one second that he was staring, the mask would come down and this relaxed moment between them would end.

They were happening more and more– post patrol, both of them starving after a night of fighting crime. Wade usually disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared with food and they would sit and eat together before going their separate ways.

It was nice, for all of Wade’s bluster and bullshit, he actually enjoyed the early morning quiet like this. Both fully in their suits, both still coming down from the high of fighting… just hanging out watching the sun rise.

It was… nice.

And Peter wasn’t going to do anything to spoil it.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade said casually inbetween bites of food.

“What now?” Peter asked, confused.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade reached into the bag next to him and threw a giant handful of white packets in Peter’s face.

“What the–damn it Wade!” Peter pushed them off his legs. “Why are you throwing sugar at—”

Wade started laughing.

“Are you kidding me?” Peter finally asked and Wade laughed harder. “Are you kidding me with this?”

“Aw, come on sugar!” Wade made kissy faces at him and Peter just rolled his eyes.
**********************

Keep reading

ID #27467

Name: Riah
Age: 25
Country: USA

I grew up in a culture where moving around was a constant, but I haven’t left the country yet. To me, every stranger is a possible friend that I haven’t met yet. :)

I’m really good at laughing, living in the moment, people watching, hitting my snooze button (more than I should), listening to people, writing, drinking coffee, eating bacon cheeseburgers, and finding new things to try to just name a few.

For fun, I like going to concerts, music fests, listening to classic rock, spending time out on the water, going to the shooting range, hiking, getting dressed up, shopping with friends, and learning more about other people and their cultures, etc.

Preferences: People 23+, location and gender don’t matter. I like to talk to people who are open minded and are LGTBQ friendly. I would like to be able to talk about issues that our world faces without being judged. Bonus points if you love Bill Nye Saves the World! 

3

Mexican American

I have been meaning to write out and post some of my experiences as a latino living in the U.S. and specifically living in a superduper white region of the United States. I was actually going to lead with a different post about a different situation, but this keeps happening so I figured I’d sit down and talk about it.

I AM A CHEESEBURGER

I went to the county fair for lunch with my coworkers. The local 4H chapter turns their facility into a little diner. It’s usually pretty good downhome cookin’ type stuff. The way it works is: You get a menu, you check what you want, write your name on it, pay, and they bring it to you when it’s ready. Each of my coworkers got their food right away except for the other guy who ordered a cheeseburger and me. Finally when the burgers were done the server came by calling for “Larry”. My coworker, whose name is, in fact, Larry, flagged her down and got his burger. A few minutes later another server left the kitchen carrying a burger, this one looked at each table and asked people who didn’t have food directly if they had ordered a cheeseburger.

“I bet that’s yours.” Said the coworker next to me.

“Yup.” I said, waving the guy down.

“Sorry,” He said putting the tray down in front of me, “They couldn’t pronounce your name and they didn’t tell me what it was.”

“Yup.” I said grabbing my plate off the tray.

This exact same thing happened just a couple of weeks ago while I and the rest of the Major Spoilers crew were driving back to Kansas from Nerdtacular. I was at a Wendy’s that, for some reason, called names, because not all of them do. I was sitting, waiting to hear my name (which I had to spell for the cashier). After a while one of my friends asked me what I ordered…

“That pretzelburger thing.”

“I think that’s yours.” He said pointing at an order sitting on the counter.

“Did they call my name?”

“No, they just called the order.”

So I went up to look and sure enough, the ticket had my name on it.

It’s something that has happened for as long as I have lived in the United States. When I was in high school my 9th grade social studies teacher gave up on my name on the first pass of the first roll call of the first day, he just called me “Lopez.” I was the only kid in the class he addressed by last name.

When I was in college I started making a little game of it. When I went out to eat with my (incidentally mostly white) friends I started giving out random (though easier to pronounce) hispanic names. Eventually my order would come up, the server would shout out “Pablo” or “Manuel” and I would go get my food to big laughs from my friends, all of whom had heard servers bail out on my actual name before.

Needless to say, I don’t shorten or change my name at restaurants anymore. I’m more than happy to spell it out, and if anyone takes just a second to sound it out, it’s actually not that hard to pronounce. But that’s actually the issue, taking that time, that little bit of time to sound it out. I know a lot of people who don’t like reading difficult words. If they come across a word with more than two syllables they literally give up and say “Whatever that says” or “I’m not reading that.” But the issue is that I’m not a chemical compound or a legal concept in latin. I’m an actual, real-life, money-carrying consumer, but the people I’m giving my business to won’t take the time to even try and pronounce my name.

And I get it, a lot of white Americans have never met a guy named Rodrigo. It’s a name that looks intimidating at first glance. Maybe they’d rather not say anything than butcher my name. Maybe they’re scared of offending me by saying my name wrong. I understand that. But by that same token they’re never going to learn how it’s pronounced if they don’t try. But that’s actually the same part of the problem. They don’t have to.

The guys that are too lazy and the guys that don’t want to accidentally offend, they’re both fine, because nothing is forcing them to learn my name. There are no consequences for calling out “cheeseburger” instead of “Rodrigo”. Unlike me they don’t need to learn to pronounce another culture’s insane names like “Hugh” (¿Jiu?),  “George” (¿Yorch?), and “Eugene” (¿¿¿???).  And no one’s going to make fun of them when their accent turns their tongue into a knot.

In a lot of ways that’s what it’s like to be Latino in the U.S. you have to do all the work to smooth out social situations; but the other party always has the option to bail, to reduce you to a cheeseburger and fries.

Oh, Where Is My Hairbrush

Pairing: Sam x Reader
Words:  983
Requested by @smandrews3:  Okay idk if you’re taking requests (and if your not thats totally cool) but I was wondering if you would do something with the reader getting veggie tale songs stuck in her head (like the water buffalo song or I love my lips or something like that) and one of the boys catches her singing it? Love your work btw ❤️❤️ 

A/N: Please do not post my writing on any other site.



          You got out of the shower, put your hair up in a towel, and got dressed. As you walked into your room, you took your hair down and started towel drying it. You looked around to find your hairbrush and immediately started seeing, “Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh, where; oh, where; oh, where; oh, where; oh, where … is my hairbrush?” you giggled to yourself about singing the Veggie Tale song. You had loved the Christian cartoon videos as a kid and sometimes the songs still came into your head. “Oh, Where Is My Hairbrush” had always been one of your favorites.

           Because you were now singing Veggie Tale songs, you decided to reminisce about ones you remembered from your childhood.

           Once you located your hairbrush and sat on the bed brushing your hair, you started singing through “I Love My Lips.”

           "One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one
of his deepest fears …“ "If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.”

           As you continued on with the silly song, you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You jumped and cringed when you saw Sam standing there, “What are you singing?” he asked.

           “Veggie Tales,” you admitted.

Keep reading

Naruto Uzumaki Headcanon (pre-shippuden)

He’s the sort to quietly drop food then pretend he just “found” it on the road or in a trashcan. Then when he has everyone’s attention he’ll obnoxiously eat it just to get a reaction out of his teammates.

Sakura is like “R u fucking serious SPIT THAT OUT” She’s chasing him like a dog owner. He’s running circles around Kakashi like “JUST ONE MORE BITE!” And just stuffs the entire hunk of food in his mouth. 

He sometimes tries to get Sasuke to eat his apparent “trash find” But because Sasuke has way to much fucking dignity he’s like “No thanks ? I’m not going to put that in my mouth, dumbass.” Naruto acts like like he’s the fucking champ when he eats it. His imagination is going wild. He’s GOD INCARNATE because he did something Sasuke couldn’t. Kakashi is thinking “Who gave this child caffeine before we left and why am I here” 

Meanwhile Kakashi is like wait a fucking moment. That cheeseburger wasn’t on the road to Suna a minute ago. 

But in all honesty, if someone told Kakashi that Naruto just pulled something out of the trash and ate it he would be like “Not again”

A Winchester is always right!

Characters: Sam Winchester, Reader, Dean Winchester

Pairing: Sam x reader

Warnings: Implied smut, fighting, a “forced” kiss (not that bad really!)

Wordcount: 1200ish 

A/N: So this was fun! This is was written for @bloodysideofhells 1 week writing challenge. This is Pride and the prompt was:  “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”

I know I mostly write Dean stuff but it was great to get a chance to show Sammy a little love :)

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

GIFS ARE NOT MINE

Sam was smart. There was no way of getting around that but did he always have to be right?! Sure the dragons had been holding up in the exact sewer system he had said they would and sure you had gotten to Dean and the girls in time to save all of them because you had gone with his gut and not yours but it still pissed you off. 

“You okay Y/N?” Dean’s eyes found yours through the rearview mirror and you just gave him a quick nod even though your blood was boiling.

“She is just pissed I was right,” Sam chuckled from the front seat next to his brother and you immediately gave the back of his seat a solid kick.

“OUCH!” Sam’s back shut forward before he twirled around and stared at you looking just about as pissed as you were feeling, “why the hell do you have to be so violent all the time?” 

Keep reading

So today in spanish class..

we made valentines day cards…and I’m not entirely sure why because that isn’t much of a high school class activity but hey alright whatever…anyways my teacher told us to make a card for someone and since my life is literally overrun with Supernatural and Destiel (And I didn’t want to make a card for anyone who was real) I made a valentines day card to Cas from Dean. Not a bad idea, right? No it didn’t seem that bad of an idea at all so I went with it, I put my pitiful art skills to use and I drew one of Cas’s wings and a little bit of Cas himself (not much though) and then I wrote a message from Dean in spanish (It had to be in spanish that was the one requirement) and everything is good, its all perfect! 

…..and then my teacher tells us that if we want a grade we have to show her the card we made….cue me, nervously sweating at my desk as I await having to explain to her that my card is a card between my gay otp and that one of them is an angel of the lord and they are perfect for each other and its all from this show I watch and-okay yeah I’ll just take my card and go now bye. 

Anyways here is the card:

Now my “spanish skills” are “rusty” but the translation is roughly this:

Front Cover: You are my angel 

Inside Message: Sorry it took me forever to realize how much I love you. You are not expendable and I need you more than I’ve let on. Will you be my valentine, Cas ?

P.S: I’ll buy cheeseburgers if you say yes

papiprice  asked:

frIEND I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF DADVERT PLS SHARE UR IDEAS W ME OMG

OF COURSE THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME!!!

- When young R begins to do ballet, Javert would be such a stage mom, like he goes to every class he can, and buys R the best equipment and gives R a standing ovation at every show; invites his cops friends and constantly says “that’s my son”! (the dance moms would be all over him, but Javert is far too focused on his son “so, Officer Javert, are you single?” “shh, I can’t hear R’s comments”)

- Javert not being able to cook at all, so for most of R’s childhood they eat out every night until a little ten year old R is like “this is ridiculous” and learns how. Javert isn’t sure about making his ten year old make him dinner every night but R just is like “dad if i eat one more god damn cheeseburger i am going to drown you in a bathtub”

- R is the littlest shit ever when it come to Valjean, like he’ll go to his bakery like “hey what’s cooking good looking marry my dad,”, which Valjean finds adorable and Javert finds mortifying. Valjean thinks it’s all a joke until R comes in one day is like “listen please just ask him out if he plays I Cant Make You Love Me one more time i am going to arrange a marriage to our dresser so hurry up i beg of you”

- Javert is also really protective of R’s friends, especially Eponine, Gavroche, Jehan, and Montparnesse. So if Hispanic!Montparnesse is only one arrested out of the Parton-Minette gang he calls racial profiling and makes his colleagues let him go; if he sees that Eponine or Gavroche is getting thinner, he’ll pack them lunches and insist they come over for dinner; if he sees bruises on Jehan he’ll follow them to school and intimidate all the jackasses that pick on him, so the word around school is like dont fuck with that Prouvaire kid xes got that crazy cop on his back. (also you know he lets Eponine paint his nails no beef and he totally buys Gav his first binder because their parents wont buy him one)

- R totally makes fun of all the crime shows Javert watches even though he’s constantly like “this is not how that works at all!” so he mainly only watches Dateline NBC, so R is like “you got a crush on keith morrison dad?” “what no!” “got the hots for keithy” “grantaire-” “is keith my new daddy”

- fishing trips. yearly.

- you walk into their apartment and it’s just wall to wall R’s art and R’s like “god dad take it down its not even good” and Javert’s just like “LOOK AT WHAT MY TINY SON MADE”

- they’re only 5′5″ each so they have like eight step stools; its the one good thing about R dating Enjolras is that he’s 6′0″ so they can finally use their top shelf.

Skinny shaming is toxic

I’m 17, 5'2, and only 88 pounds. I have never in my life broken 100 pounds. Since I can remember people (including my family members) went on and on about how skinny I am and how little I am. People would tell me to eat a cheeseburger and things along those lines. Last year in my sophomore year, I was taking a strength class. It’s basically a workout class. I’m very very tiny mind you. I could hardly bench 30 pounds at the start. I worked my way up though. Anyways, in the locker room girls would always comment on how small I was. This one girl, who was a bit heavier, told me I looked like I never ate and that I was anorexic. I was stunned.. Luckily my best friend stepped in. People have always commented on my weight. But I just can’t gain weight. No matter what I eat. Here recently I have gained a small bit of a stomach. It’s just a tiny little bump. I have come to not like it because I’ve always been really thin. When I express my concerns and how I want to start exercising to tone myself, people lose their minds. “What?! You don’t NEED exercise! You’ll either away!” “You’re already so tiny!” “you don’t need to worry about losing weight!” And more. People don’t understand that those things are not why I want to. I want to exercise to tone MY body. It is after all, MINE. Everyone is beautiful, including the skinny girls. Much love xoxo lex.

MEANIE in Rio 2016 Olympics (Track&Field)
  • Mingyu: *runs men 200m*
  • Mingyu: *finishes first and falls into the ground*
  • Later during interview
  • Interviewer: Mingyu-sshi, you ran quite so fast and had a huge gap between the runner up, had good pace too. How come you suddenly fell? It looked like you were running fine though.
  • Mingyu: *looks at Wonwoo at the bleachers*
  • Mingyu: I looked at the person I love and I accidentally fell for that person once again
  • Wonwoo: *looking*
  • Mingyu: ....
  • Wonwoo: ....
  • Mingyu: ....
  • Wonwoo: cheeseburger time, I'm hungry
  • #Savage_Master