i am a big 23 year old kid when it comes to candy

Prompt List

Send in a number(s) and person and I’ll try my best. Even if they’re not in the tags just request them anyways, I write about almost everyone. It doesn't even have to be a WWE superstar.

1. “There are too many people on this planet. We need a new plague.”

2.  “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”

3.  “Occasionally I’ll hit someone with my car.”

4. “You don’t know me; you’ve just seen my penis.”

5. “I’m gonna tell you all of my secrets.”

6. “I’ve only slept nine hours in the last four days.”

7. “I need you to text me every thirty seconds saying that everything is going to be okay.”

8. “Everything hurts and I’m dying.”

9. “I don’t want to be overdramatic but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”

10. “How long do cats live? Like, assuming you don’t throw them under a bus or something?”

11. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

12. “Seriously, good luck marrying me.”

13. “He may not be my soul mate but hey, a girl’s gotta eat.”

15. “Someone ate the only good thing going in my life.”

16. “These are just feelings, they’ll go away.”

17. “Hey, Baby, It’s me. Can you bail me out of jail?”

18. “Maybe the old lady with the face tattoo is right.”

19. “You know what I’d like to do right now? I’d like to hold your hand.”

20. “The best I can give you is a fake smile and dead eyes.”

21. “People like being lied to. They just don’t like finding out they’ve been lied to.”

22. “I want to fill a pillowcase with dead batteries and beat you with it.”

23. “Where’s my candy you son of a bitch?”

24. “The gym, or as I like to call it, the Institute of things I can’t do.”

25. “I have a black eye and I need ice

26. “I tell secrets. It’s just who I am.”

27. “Don’t put me in your fantasies. I don’t even like being in your real life.”

28. “I am not proud of what I am about to say…”

29. “But I don’t want to go outside.”

30. “You should know if you come any closer, I’m not letting you go.”

31. “Talking isn’t going to help me, okay? What’s going to help me is, like, drinking.”

32. “Kiss me like that again, pretty please.”

33. “I want to sleep with you tonight.”

34. “Has anyone told you how cute you are?”

35. “You have no idea how much I love you.”

36.  “What did you say?”

37. “Marry me.”

38. “Are you still awake..?”

39. “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

40. “I could kill you right now!”

41. “I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

42.“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

43. “Give me cake or give me death.”

44. “I just sometimes get the sudden urge to drop kick a small child across the room but I don’t because its frowned upon.”

45. “On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

46. “I would kill for you. Like actual murder.”

47. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

48. “Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

49. “I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

50. “I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

51. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

52. “I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

53. “You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

54. “The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire…for you.”

55. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

56. “You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

57. “I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

58. “I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I sometimes find you repulsive.”

59. “I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”

60. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”

61. “You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

62. “When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

63. “It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

64. “Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

65. “You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

66. “Are you wearing my shirt?”

67. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

68. “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

69. “Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

70. “Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

71. “Would you feel better if I let you hold my hand?”

72. “I’m glad you find my boyfriend attractive, now fuck off.”

73. “I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

74. “Do you love her?”

75. “And you wonder why we broke up in the first place.”

76. “Fuck that was so hot.”

77. “You belong with me.”

79.“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

80. “Hey, I’m right here. Shh you’re okay.”

81. “You know I never meant to hurt you, right?”

82. “Did you just call me (Your/Ex’s/Name?)

83. “I’ll give you a blowjob if you go and get me some skittles.”

84. “You mean the world to me.”

85. “I may be drunk but I know for a fact that I love you.”

86. “You smell good.”

87. “That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

88. “What the fuck are you giggling at? it’s 3am.”

89. “Can I be the little spoon tonight?”

90. “You’re mine. You got that?”

91. “You mean everything to me. And I’ll be damned if I were to let you walk out on me right now.”

92. “I swear to god I won’t have sex with you for a whole month if you don’t kill that eight legged motherfucker.”

93. “I know I’m your bestfriend but I want so much more.”

94. “I want kisses.”

95. “You’re mad.”

96. “Sure, go hangout with your ex. I mean, I might as well text mine, too.”

97. “You broke my fucking heart.”

98. “I have to let you go.”

99.“Wow you have nice abs.”

100. “You have such a nice butt.”

merry early christmas ii

here yall go i hope you enjoy this unedited writing extravaganza i just completed in a matter of two hours i am very tired but @kidinlovewithakid would have killed me if this wasn’t up tonight even though a part 2 was not needed 

also i am aware that my masterlist is messed up rn and im going to fix it tomorrow because after this is posted im going to sleep 

enjoy this fluff fest! 

When you signed up to host Christmas this year, you didn’t know just how tiring it actually was. At first you didn’t understand when your mom told you it was more stressful than you thought, she said it was going to be hard since you have to prepare everything and take care of 2 young kids. She offered to do it this year, but you declined, now you were wishing you let her do it. Maybe if you weren’t pregnant you’d be okay, but you’ve only been working in the kitchen for an hour and a half and you’ve had to sit down and take a break 4 times already. At least Shawn took Alex with him to pick up a few last minute things and you only had to keep an eye on Ava who was sitting in her highchair.

Last night after putting the kids to sleep, you and Shawn stayed up thinking of ideas on how to tell your families the big news. You decided to get rid of your original plan and think of something else, you both wanted to announce it creatively since (much to Shawn’s protests) it would probably be your last baby. That was the main reason you sent Shawn to the mall and grocery store to pick up a few things, he needed to buy the things you were going to use when you told your families. The only way he got Alex to go with him is because he bribed him with candy, but at least you only had to bring Ava to your last minute doctors appointment.

You forgot you had made an appointment for today, you weren’t sure why they were open on December 24, but with all the things that needed to get done today, that was one. After cleaning up the kitchen, you finally were able to take Ava, who was growing impatient, out of her highchair so you could leave for your appointment. Shawn was disappointed that he couldn’t come to this appointment, but both things needed to be done by a certain time tonight so he needed to go to the store. You assured him there would be many more appointments he was going to come to which thankfully made him feel a bit better about the situation. After buckling Ava into her carseat, you were off to the office which was about 20 minutes away but since everyone was doing last minute christmas shopping and there was traffic, who knew how long you would be. Luckily Ava had some things back there to keep her satisfied during the car ride and throughout the appointment.

You arrived at the doctor’s office with time to spare, which you were surprised about. You thought you were for sure going to be late. You took a seat while Ava rested on your lap and you watched in amusement as she observed her surroundings, she was mostly staring at some of the women who looked to be 8 or 9 months pregnant.

“They have babies in their tummy,” you whispered, hoping that it would help her understand a little more. “Just like mommy has a baby in her tummy.”

She continued to look at you in confusion, “Baby?”

“Yeah, a baby. You’re going to be a big sister.” you smiled. You knew she didn’t really understand what you meant but she smiled anyways. You quickly kissed the top of her head as she started to play with the little stuffed toy you brought for her. Thankfully she was behaving right now, and hopefully would behave like this until you got home and you could put her down for a nap. Your name was called shortly after you sat down and the nurse led you to one of the rooms where you set Ava down on a chair next to the table and quickly got yourself ready for the nurse to do her thing.

The grey haired nurse smiled at your little girl, “She’s adorable, is this your second?” she asked while beginning to smear the blue gel all over your stomach. You winced at how cold it was at first, but soon got used to the feeling.

“No this is my third, I have a 5 year old son but he’s out shopping with his father.” You remembered this nurse from your last appointment, but she didn’t really talk much aside from when she confirmed you were pregnant. You were far too anxious to have a conversation last time. She seemed like a sweet lady and you hoped she did all of your appointments. When you were pregnant with Alex, your nurse wasn’t very kind. She mostly judged you and Shawn since you both were young. Even though both of you were 23 at the time, and happily married. Ava started babbling in her seat, having a conversation with who knows what while the nurse was trying to find your baby.

“Your husband couldn’t make it to this appointment?” she asked, trying to make conversation with you so it wasn’t awkward.

“Nope, he had to do some shopping but he was disappointed he couldn’t come.”

After a few more minutes of searching, the nurse was finally able to show you your baby. Though, it was only a small dot and you had trouble finding it, you couldn’t help but watch the nurse as she looked at the screen like she was trying to identify something.

“Seems like I didn’t catch this last appointment, but you’ve actually got yourself twins here.” She smiled as your eyes just widened. She circled the two babies, making sure they were both healthy before printing you some pictures and sending you off. Shawn didn’t know you were having twins which meant he wasn’t going to get enough things for later. Shawn had texted you that he was home and he was going to start setting the table and finishing everything so you decided to take a detour to the mall to pick up more things for tonight. Even Shawn was going to be in for a surprise tonight when he finds out about the twins. You were definitely excited to see his reaction.

When you finally arrived home, you were greeted with the house smelling like delicious food that you couldn’t wait to eat, and the smell of Christmas. As soon as you took your shoes off, you were greeted by Alex who excitedly ran to you.

“Look mumma, daddy bought me a chocolate!” he proudly held up his king size chocolate bar while Shawn made an appearance in the doorway, watching his son show off his chocolate.

“King size, eh?” you raised eyebrows at Shawn who just shrugged. You smiled and rolled your eyes as Alex ran off to the living room where you could hear a Christmas movie on the TV.

“Smells good,” you said, as you handed Ava to Shawn. It was time for her nap so she immediately laid her head on his shoulder.  

“I’m a good cook, you just doubt me.” Shawn laughed before quickly pecking your lips then making his way upstairs to put Ava down.

You wandered around the house making sure everything was okay and ready for when the guests arrive in about an hour before telling Alex he needed to go change his clothes and get ready for the party. He followed you into his room where you picked out an outfit for him, with his help, and after he changed into the new clothes you styled his hair the way he asked and you let him back downstairs. As soon as you arrived in your own bedroom, you collapsed on the bed since you were so exhausted. Shawn was getting ready in the bathroom with the door open so you could hear him humming a tune you’ve never heard before in the shower. Even though he was taking a break for a while, he was constantly writing songs.

Deciding you needed to start getting ready yourself, you trudged your way over to the closet to pick out some clothes that were appropriate for tonight. You noticed your little bump that wouldn’t be noticeable if you didn’t know you were pregnant and smiled, instead of one human in there, there were two, which you were not expecting. Shawn walked into the closet in search of some clothes while you were standing in the mirror, staring at your barely existing stomach.

“I’m so excited Y/n you have no idea,” he smiled, picking out a pair of black jeans before slipping them on followed by a red short sleeve dress shirt.

“Me too,” you said, not sure if he was talking about telling your families or the babies in general. You watched as he started looking through your side of the closet and picking out something for you to wear since it was very clear you couldn’t decide.

“Wear this,” he handed you the outfit that looked almost identical to his, except he chose a loose, flowy top which happened to be your favourite. “I’m gonna go downstairs with Alex, are you going to wrap the presents?”

You nodded, slipping on the jeans and top before grabbing the bag with the things for later as Shawn exited the room. As soon as the door was closed, you rummaged through your purse to find the bag with the extra things you bought and you quickly added it to the presents before going downstairs and placing them under the tree.

“Who are those for?” Alex asked as you placed the presents under the tree.

“Your grandparents,” Shawn answered, as you walked into the kitchen yet again. You could hear him telling Alex he can’t talk about the new baby tonight since not everyone knows yet. It took Shawn a while of explaining before Alex finally understood why he couldn’t talk about it.

Before you knew it, all your guests had arrived and you were in the middle of dinner. Everyone was engaged in their own conversations, you were talking to Aaliyah and her boyfriend about their new condo together, while Shawn shook his head at the fact that they were moving in together at such a young age.

“Shawn,” you sighed. “She’s 23. She isn’t a baby.” you were trying your best to defend Aaliyah but there was only so much you could do. You knew Shawn was just being a protective brother.

“That’s still too young to be moving in together.” he mumbled, sticking a forkful of food into his mouth.

“Last time I checked, when you were 23 you were married and had a baby on the way.” Aaliyah smirked, “So moving in together is nothing compared to you.”

“It’s different though!” Shawn exclaimed. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, which earned you a glare.

“Can you pass the pasta?” you asked, suddenly getting the craving for only pasta. Once you received the bowl, you put as much as you wanted in your plate before passing it back to Karen who looked at you with raised eyebrows. You looked down at your plate, noticing you put a little too much than normal.

“What? I really like pasta.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t catch on.

Hours passed and it was now time for you and Shawn to make your announcement. Everyone was sitting in the living room, waiting for midnight to open some presents. Aaliyah was holding Ava who was sleeping on her shoulder, while Alex was playing on the floor with some of his cousins.

Shawn stood up, letting everyone know that you guys wanted to give one present earlier to both your parents. He handed them both a box before taking his original seat next to you and lacing your fingers together. You watched as they pulled out two sets of newborn onesies that said “thing one” and “thing two” on them. Shawn gave you a confused look when he noticed they weren’t the onesies he bought. “Those aren’t the ones I bought?”

Before you could answer, your mom finally got the meaning of the present. “You’re pregnant?” she asked, tears were threatening to pour from her eyes. You nodded, “It’s twins.”

She immediately engulfed you in a hug, followed by the rest of the parents and then the rest of the family who moved on to Shawn before taking their seats again.

“Twins?” Shawn asked with a huge smile adorning his face. “Since when?” he pulled you in for a hug, as the rest of the family just laughed at his reaction.

“I found out today, I wanted it to be a surprise.” you smiled, quickly pressing a kiss to his lips. “Are you happy?”

“Happy?” he asked, “This was the best early Christmas present ever!”

The rest of the family awed at the two of you as you sat down in your original places, the conversation had now turned to you and questions about the babies.

“Oh and Y/n,” Shawn whispered in your ear once you finished talking. “I did good.”