i am a bajan

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Google YouTube Panel 2015 w/ Mini Ladd, Vanoss, Wildcat, Lui, Jerome, xRPMx13 & BajanCanadian!

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Rupee- I Am A Bajan

wherever I roam or I go, I will let them know.

no matter what I say, or I do - BLUE YELLOW BLACK AND BLUE

drinks, rags, reppin my bajan flag

vibes, music, jump up and down and sing it

gem of the Caribbean sea, want nuttin wid we

i am a bajan 

Chapter 11

“Marley brush your teeth before going downstairs” I picked up the towel from the bathroom floor walking back into my bedroom “Chanise!” I screamed her name in annoyance “You were playing with my lipsticks again!!” That girl is driving me crazy I sighed picking the lipstick up from the floor. My bedroom was a mess and the kids wouldn’t sleep anywhere else besides with me here in Barbados, I don’t know why. Putting my lipstick back in my handbag I saw her foot half out hiding under the bed. I rolled my eyes half smiling leaning forward grabbing her foot pulling her out, she let out a scream “momma!! I’m sorry” I pulled her all the way out and then stood straight crossing my arms just glaring at her, she got up brushing herself off “I like it” she whispered “look at your clothes Chanise, you got it everywhere on you!” I crouched down to her level “you know how expensive that stuff is? And how much we spend on your clothes” I was mad but trying to be calm “sorry” she mumbled looking down “it’s okay just change your clothes please and check on Marley” I sighed, it’s been like a losing battle with these two I tell them off and they do the same thing all over again.

“Rihanna!” Mel screamed at me “Rihanna bring yo ass downstairs” I got up from my position “Coming” I looked at what the kids were doing before going downstairs and Chanise was brushing his teeth for him, I shook my head skipping downstairs. Mel was smoking a blunt just looking at me “come with me” she said in a blunt tone, my heart was racing what if it’s Chris and he’s come to Barbados after the text argument we had, I been feeling shitty about everything I called him.  I walked behind Mel into the dining room I took in a breath before walking in, I poked my head through looking around and seeing nothing “what you doing?” Mel asked looking at me confused, my face dropped seeing nothing “uh nothing” I walked in “what’s up?” I asked, she just shook her head not believing me “well” she trailed off walking into the kitchen, this bitch was confusing me so much. The chef walked out with a dozen red roses and then the two waitresses walked out with more red roses with Mel behind them with another set of red roses walking over to me “yo nigga sent this” I was stunned holding them “hid them from your family” I didn’t know what to say I was shocked he sent them. I walked over to the dining table placing the red roses on the table taking the note out. I looked up at Mel holding out a square box “this too” I took it from her “I’ll give you space” she walked out closing the doors.

I licked my lips opening the letter seeing it had been handwritten; I smiled hovering my hand over his writing “I still love his stupid ass” I mumbled to myself sniffling a little and then started reading it.

Dear Robyn,

Let me get one thing straight you are not going to stop me from seeing my children or talking to them, that is selfish and cruel to me and them and the things you said to me hurt but here I am still writing this letter to you, besides I don’t think you will read it with your bajan angry ass. I am sorry for being useless to you (like you said) I am sorry for not listening to you (because you’re always right) I am sorry for being a worthless dad and husband (as you pointed out to me) I am sorry for ruining your life with them kids (like you said) now you’re stuck with memories of me because of these kids. That hurt me a lot because I couldn’t believe you would even think that about our kids, really? Even though you feel that way about me I still want us to work, I know you love me I know you do, As much as I’m missing you, you’re missing me too. I’ll change I promise you this. Just give me a chance, home is where the heart is and that is with me and you know it.

Love you Robyn.

P.S Open the box now.

I wiped the tears that fell and put the letter down opening the box and removing all the packaging, I wasn’t expecting this, my heart just fell lifting out the photo frame of us and the kids, the happier times. I held the photo to my heart.

Me and my assistant walked into the 106 and park studios, I kept myself busy to keep my mind off everything “any news?” I asked her looking ahead “uhm nothing as of yet and before you ask me, no there is no news and no blog stories about Mrs Brown” I chuckled opening the door to my dressing room “you getting used to me ain’t you?” I held the door open for her “well the amount of times I get a side eye when I call her Rihanna Fenty, I hear your blood boil a little” I laughed taking my jacket off “you think that will get her to react now?” My assistant looked at me “I hope so because I got no more ideas, she has sent so many things back but the letter hasn’t come back so I guess we good” I smiled a little sitting down, I miss my kids a lot.

After getting prepped for the interview I waited until my name was called out, I waited backstage pacing looking at the ground “Y’all know my brother Chris Brown is here” Bow shouted out and everyone screamed, I chuckled that still makes me happy that I still get girls screaming “Chris Brown get out here” I smiled biting my bottom lip leaving backstage to screaming girls as they gripped me and didn’t let me go “y’all need to calm down” Bow dragged me out the crowd “damn! I couldn’t get out of there” I chuckled dapping bow “my man you good?” I nodded “Yeah, It’s been a while since I been to this place” I chewed on my bottom looking at hin “either Rihanna been hiding you or you just too busy being a father” bow shook his head “don’t be looking at me like that cause you done dipped out on us on the music scene, what you been up too now?” I sighed looking around smiling till my face dropped seeing Eva stood there next to my assistant; I mugged her as we made eye contact. Bow hit my arm snapping me out of it “my bad, I just spaced out but I just been doing some things behind the scenes I still make music, I still make videos and I be helping other artists on the rise but now I’m coming back with a new album” the crowd cheered, I couldn’t stop smiling because I’m just happy to be back in the limelight and not be behind the scenes.

After the interview was done I took some picture with fans as I walked out with my assistant “Chris!” Eva shouted out, I just wanted to get away from her “I love you Chris” a fan said “I love you too” I smiled shaking her hand walking out “Chris!” she grabbed my arm and I quickly snatched it from her “what the fuck do you want? Leave me alone” I glared at my assistant “did you let her get back here?” she shook her head “I didn’t know she was here, honestly” I looked back at Eva “I’m sorry” she blurted out, I laughed at her and walked off “get her out” I told my bodyguard not caring about her, I was too busy to deal with her shit.

I sat down with my family watching television, I wasn’t really watching because I was too busy thinking about Chris and I think I’ve let him suffer long enough. I tightened the grip on my phone, I been contemplating on texting him but I’m just scared that he will think everything will be back to normal. I just want him to grow up and be mine, nobody else’s.

Marley jumped onto my lap “momma” he smiled, I wrapped my arms around him smiling “baby boy” kissing his cheek “shall we go home?” I asked him, he nodded putting his thumb in his mouth “okay baby we will” I held him close while watching Chanise annoy Rajad “Chanise you better leave uncle alone, he’s not happy” she looked at me annoyed “I not like this” she pointed to the TV “okay rara will change it” I giggled, he hated being called that but thanks to my kids they gave him a new name “fine” he mumbled changing the channel.

He flicked through the channels “I’m leaving it on this” he put on 106 and park “boy! You know damn well they ain’t want this” I shook my head “rara stupid” she hit his head and ran to me “neece that mean” Marley jerked up “Chanise is being a brat” I gave her a look and then watched the television, bow is still doing this show I can’t believe it “Y’all know my brother Chris Brown is here, y’all been waiting for him. Chris get out here” my eyes widened looking at the screen “dad!” Chanise shouted running to the screen “daddy!” she jumped up and down as he came out the back smiling which made me smile “dad” Marley got off my lap getting closer like he was real “momma look dad! Oh my god daddy” I swallowed the big lump in my throat; I was so ready to cry. What did I do to them? I kept them away from him “man I love y’all” Chris said to his fans “I love you too daddy” Chanise smiled at him like he was everything “nooooo” Chanise whined, Chris was doing a goofy dance as they went to a commercial “momma he coming back” I was in too much shock to say anything “yeah little ones” Mijo said sitting next to me.

“You good?” Mijo asked “I messed up” I mumbled “look how long I kept them away from their father, he never did anything to them he hurt me but not them but I got them involved just to hurt him, they adore him and I just thought of me” I sniffled looking down “he’s not a good guy is he though? He hurts you all the time so fuck him” Rajad said out loud, I went silent and looked at him “don’t!” I mean mugged him a little “Don’t what? He either hurts you physically or does it mentally, you deserve better and so do my nephew and niece” I wiped my tears “this has nothing to do with you okay? Don’t you dare belittle him when he’s not here to defend himself” Chanise walked up too Rajad “rara I don’t like you” Chanise folded her arms “you mean” she turned around and held Marley’ hand “we see daddy it’s okay” why does Chanise have to be so much like me, taking control of situations and protecting her brother, brings up bad memories “I’m sorry” I said while looking at them both “what you gonna do?” Mijo asked “I need to grow up” I replied watching the kids.

The next day I woke up early and started packing our clothes to go back home without Mel and Mijo because they wanted to stay but I needed to go home “you sure?” Mel questioned me “I’m more than sure, I need to stop running away from my problem’s” I sighed “they miss their father and who am I to stop them?” I zipped my suitcase looking at Mel “but he’s always hurting you?” she looked at me annoyed “I’m putting my kids first, they need a stable life” I picked up my suitcase taking it downstairs.

“kids!!! Say bye to everyone” I shouted at them while texting Chris’ assistant asking what he’s doing, I unzipped my handbag getting my shades out “Chanise and Marley will you hurry up” I just wanted to leave without the preaching from my family “here momma” Marley said holding on to my mom’ hand “okay and Chanise?” he shrugged “baby why you being like this?” my momma said frowning at me “I just want to leave” I said bluntly “you seem agitated” I rolled my eyes only because she couldn’t see that “maybe cause of y’all” I mumbled “I just want to go home, my kids need their father” Chanise skipped over with her dress on that was now dirty “I fell momma and uncle try to clean it” she pouted “it’s okay let’s go” I opened the door “go to the car” I said to them “but what do you need?” My mom grabbed my arm “I need my kids happiness and the rest will follow” she didn’t look happy but I wasn’t sticking around to know what she thought “I have to go now” I hugged her “I love you and I will call you, bye” I slipped away quickly; I had no time to stick around.

Lacing up my Js in my hotel room, today is my last day in New York I’m going back to VA today because LA is lonely as hell now since my kids and wife ain’t around so I might as well see my nephew and my momma. My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it to get up and look in the mirror “damn” I mumbled, I looked rough I needed to shave asap “Chris!!” my assistant’ voice could be heard walking down the corridor and then banged on my door “Chris” I shook my head walking over opening the door “what?” she let herself in without me even inviting her into my room “Where you going?” she looked confused at me “home? I thought you did because we discussed this 2 days ago, you have time off till I get back to LA” she looked annoyed “no! Change of plans we need to do something in New York” I frowned laughing “is you my boss?” she laughed a little “no just want to chill with you? You know my boss, I uhm you know always working and it just not fair I want to have fun so can we just go and do something?” I looked at her like she was stupid “look I will get you some friends because I have a flight to get” I walked by her getting my jacket “no! The flight got cancelled…. I uhm cancelled it” my head shot towards her “what!!?? What do I pay you for? The fuck you playing games for?” I barked at her in annoyance but I ended up making her cry “yo don’t cry” I sighed feeling bad “stop please” I sat on my bed shaking my head.

After she made me feel bad I took her out to the club after taking her for dinner, I wasn’t happy at all but she seemed really upset about it “why you stood like this” she was dancing besides me and I shrugged “just because you can’t dance” I chuckled at her and she pushed me a little. She’s 19 and forever making stupid mistakes but I like her.

Luckily it was time to go back to the hotel; it has been torture hanging with her all day just because I felt bad “woah! watch your step” I grabbed hold of her arm helping her into the car “whoops” she giggled “young lady, you is underage why you drunk” I squinted as she shuffled over so I could get in “nooooo I’m just in a fun mood” I shut the car door as the driver drove off “you have fun? Say yes cause I’m going tomorrow” she nodded “yes boss man, thank you and I’m sorry for crying I just got uhm emotional I guess” I nodded looking out the window “it’s okay” I mumbled “you miss your kids” I turned to look at her “yeah course I do, I miss her too just shit always goes wrong for me but then again I create my own troubles” she smiled removing her heels “I can tell you do, you’re a great guy Chris. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to work for you” I smiled at her “it’s okay and thank you for the compliment ma” her phone buzzed and she quickly looked at the message, I just continued to look outside “you deserve it” she blurted out “I deserve what?” I answered and she just giggled “oh I don’t know” I pulled a face, she just drunk I guess.

We arrived back at the hotel with a few SUVs ahead of us parked up “we going to be stuck back here?” I asked wanting to get out the car “I think they’re moving” the driver said as I perked my head up  seeing suitcase after suitcase leave the cars“They will be moving now, sorry for the wait” he said, he better be sorry making me wait just to get out the car. My driver pulled up to the entrance and I got out helping my assistant out “you walking bare foot?” I laughed at her “yeah nigga I don’t do heels” I shook my head walking behind her being greeted by the staff at the hotel, they looked real happy to see me, I smiled back at them looking straight ahead and then noticed Robyn’ bodyguard here, I frowned “yo” I shouted at him and he looked at me “uh hey Chris” he dapped me “what you doing here?” was the first thing I asked “uhm I’m just here with my family on a trip” I nodded slowly “what about Robyn? Who with her?” now I wonder where she is and with who “uhm Barbados” he walked off a little “listen I gotta go we catch up later” I walked off, weird as shit to me.

Walking behind my assistant she stopped outside my room “wrong room ma’am” I walked up to her pushing her along “I thought we’re gonna watch a movie now?” I laughed at her “I’m honestly going to fire you for being annoying” she pouted “annoying little sister?” she cheesed at me “nah, annoying little rat now run along” I got my hotel key out as she stood there “nigga will you just open the damn door” she folded her arms “no not until you move!! You creep” she sighed with a smile “sing me a song first?” I gave her a blank stare “I swear….. You just pushing it” my room door handle started moving, my head turned looking at it moving as I stepped back “what the fuck….” It unlocked and the door creeped open slowly “daddy why you being so loud?” she squinted struggling to keep the door open “Chanise?” I said in shock, this can’t be real; I looked in shock and then looked at my assistant as she held the door open with a smile “surprise?” I ran over picking up Chanise “dad I’m tired, you woke me” she whined as I held her close “I missed you so much” she lifted her head kissing my cheek “I love you daddy” my heart was racing walking into my hotel room seeing Robyn stood there “Hey” I looked at her and then put Chanise down “you going to be here when I wake daddy?” she asked holding my face, I nodded “yeah I will be I promise” she kissed my cheek “goodnight” she ran off, I smiled at her caring for her sleep more than me.

I got up looking at my assistant “am I annoying now?” I nodded walking over to her “hmmm a little”  she mean mugged me “hey it was hard keeping you in New York I guess my tears worked” she smirked “won’t ever believe you again so goodnight little one” I pushed her out “have fun you guys” she shouted. Fun? I am scared of Robyn she is too quiet and she hates me.

 I slowly shut the door not knowing what to do, I felt her eyes on me. I turned around and I was right she was staring at me “who let you in?” I broke the silence “front desk, I uhm said you expected me and I’m your wife so they wouldn’t refuse” I smiled a little “so now I know where all them suitcases came from” I looked around the room and saw that the kids have taken over my bed, I walked over to Marley he was knocked out asleep so I leaned over and kissed his cheek “they missed you” she said watching me “I missed them too” I looked at her and then took my jacket off clearing my throat “I missed you too Robyn” I didn’t look at her reaction, she would probably be rolling her eyes “same” she mumbled sniffling which caused me to look at her wiping her tears “I’m sorry” I walked over to her “may I?” I asked before I hugged her just incase she hit me instead. She ended up falling into my arms “why do you have to be an asshole” she sobbed, I wrapped my arms around her “I love you Robyn, only you. I’m sorry and I’m trying to be good and make things right” she probably don’t believe that “I just want you” she wrapped her arms around my neck as we stood in that same spot holding each other.

“You need to shave” she blurted out moving her face “you making me itch with all that” she touched my face “look at you looking all cute and quiet what’s wrong?” she said smiling wide, I shrugged not saying a word “why you not talking?” she hid her face in her hands “you’re making me shy with the look you’re giving me” I could see her cheeks getting red, I was just admiring her and feeling so blessed to have her back. “Can I shave you?” she looked at me giving me a serious face “shave what? My lovely beard or….” I looked down “I mean…” I trailed “shut up and let me shave you” she grabbed my hand “uhhhh I’m scared though please no, I’ll shave as soon as I get back to VA” she stopped and turned around “VA? But I want to go back to LA with you and work things out can we?” I was going to disagree but I guess my momma can wait so I just nodded smiling “sure” I need to make her happy so if she wants that I guess we’re going to do that.