The Awful Flower Analogy on Jane the Virgin
I am so glad that they addressed the flower analogy in this episode and just how damaging it can be.
You know I really applauded this show for exploring virginity with Jane. For so many years the sexual revolution has been defined by a woman’s right to have sex and not be judged for it. And I found it so interesting that for once a show explored a woman’s right to NOT have sex and not be judged for that. The fact that Jane was allowed to make the decision to wait for marriage and stick with it, is something that I don’t think I’ve ever seen on contemporary TV. They explored how hard it was for her to stick with that decision but also how accepting every around her was of that decision. Over the series I don’t think anyone told her she was wrong for it or that it was ridiculous to stick with it. Even the men she dated were remarkably okay with her decision. Even if they floundered at first, they all respected that choice. That was great to see on television.
That being said I’m so happy they addressed the damaging flower analogy.
When Jane was 12 years old her grandma tells her to crumple up a flower and then try to make it perfect and new again. When she can’t Alba tells her that’s what it’s like when you lose your virginity and you can’t go back.
That’s horrible. It’s an awful message and certainly not one that you should drill into the head of a preteen.
And even though Jane consciously knows better, and even though she waited until marriage like her grandma told her to, after she has sex with her husband she feels like that crumpled up flower. She feel like she’s lost something, or that she’s less special because she’s no longer a virgin. And that’s not only sad, but untrue. And having those thoughts in her head affected her ability to enjoy sex with her husband.
I am so happy that Xo came to her and explained that no longer being a virgin doesn’t mean that she’s lost something. It means that she’s gained something. By having sex with Michael she’s opening herself to explore and discover a new side of herself and also a new side of her relationship with Michael. I think what Xo said was pretty much Mother goals in terms of the sex talk.