i am 'adequate' at best

What Do You Feel?

Who: Jughead Jones
Where: Riverdale

{Decided to try out a jug imagine}


Part One ||| Part Two 

[Y/N] had, had enough. She couldn’t stand the one-sided tension between herself and Jughead. She respected Jug enough to give him space and time for this novel of his. She was thrilled about his idea and fully stood by what he was trying to achieve. [Y/N] would always support Jughead in everything he did because she absolutely loved him for who he was. She would never dare try to change a single thing because that was what made Jughead, Jughead.

But, this summer and the beginning of the school year was driving her insane. She felt second best and despite knowing that Jug needed to invest as much time as he needed into this novel, she just couldn’t’ stand having one-sided conversations. [Y/N] needed to know if anything more was going to come out of their odd relationship.

Nothing was ever talked about what they were, it just sort of happened. It was known that [Y/N] was off limits to any boy in Riverdale and not that Jughead had a line of girls waiting for him but it was clear who had his attention. Even Archie and Betty never talked about it, it was just there. A relationship built without words. But, [Y/N] needed answers. She could deal with the little notions of affection Jug would throw in her direction. In fact, she loved it. She loved that Jughead would reach across the table and gently grab her hand and hold it while he reread paragraph after paragraph; running his thumb over the top of her hand while she worked on her homework or read a book. She especially loved it when he’d just look at her and cup her face and press his warm lips against hers. Or when he’d gently bump into her on their way to her house and swiftly fit her hand inside his. And even the moments when he’d finally put his laptop away and they’d binge watch horror movies and pull her into his chest.

No words. Just actions. And [Y/N] could live with that. But being blatantly ignored and feeling as if she was talking to a brick wall, just wasn’t cutting it. She couldn’t sleep at night thinking that everything she had tried to talk to Jughead about, he didn’t even hear. It was frustrating because she was a human being that wanted to talk out her feelings. Express her everlasting love she had for him and wanting to know if he felt the same.

“Jughead.”

The tone in her voice snapped Jug from his thoughts, tearing his eyes from his screen. His brows furled as he looked at her standing in the doorway of the Blue and Gold news room. “[Y/N]?”

Stepping inside, she flickered a look towards Betty who gave her a concerned look. [Y/N] was never stern, and it was odd that she sounded so. “Could you give us a minute, Betty?”

Betty nodded, ruffling around and gathering papers to sort through in another room. “Of course, [Y/N]. Um, I’ll be back later.” Zipping by her friend, she exited the room.

“We need to talk.” [Y/N] said with the same tone as before, she was fidgeting with her fingers, trying to figure out her next words. It was now or never.

Jughead chose to ignore her strange behavior, “I really can’t, I’m finishing up the last few pages of this chapter.” Turning his focus back onto his laptop, his fingers started typing away. “You understand.” He spoke quickly before diving back into it.

An irritated sigh came from her lips as she turned around and shut the door. Slamming it loud enough to catch Jughead’s attention again. Turning to face him, she crossed her arms across her chest. “That’s the thing, Jug. Your novel is exactly what I want to talk about.”

Sensing that [Y/N] was as serious as her tone, he turned in his chair to face her. Nodding, he motioned towards the air. “Okay, shoot.”

“Am I second best to it?” She asked, her voice faltering a little. Her eyes were drilling into his, glossed over from feeling the emotion building inside her.

“What? No.” His eyes squinted, slightly shocked she asked. “What does that even mean, [Y/N]?”

“Second best, Jughead. Am I a less adequate, less desirable alternative?”

“Why would even ask me that, [Y/N]?”

Tears were brimming her eyes, taking a deep breath, she walked over towards him. Pulling a chair right in front of him. She sat down, her heart sinking further into her chest. Afraid to venture into this conversation. “Jughead, I love this novel of yours. I think it’s great, and if anyone is going to write about this town, it’s you. No one else could ever pull it off like you will.” Pressing her lips together, she looked up at the cracked ceiling. “But, it seems like that’s all you ever do. We used to talk to Jug. Talk all night about everything and anything. And when we would, I forgot where I was for the moment. All that mattered was that you and I were together. And that one day we would leave this town together and embark on this adventure away from Riverdale. But, I feel like you don’t feel the same.”

Jughead took in her words, analyzing them in his head. Taking in her hurt tone and trying to understand them. Was he invested in his novel, of course. Did he want to make [Y/N] feel like she was second best? Absolutely not. As much as he was a fluid with his words on paper, speaking them out loud was a different story. Jughead wasn’t normally one to shy away from voicing his opinion or putting his two sense in something he shouldn’t. But when it came to [Y/N], she took the literal words straight from his mouth and put them in a blender. He could never express what he felt other than by just showing her what she meant to him.

“Can you say something, Jug?”

Biting his lip, he looked down at his hands. “I don’t know what you want me to say, [Nickname].”

Sucking in hair, she ran both hands through her hair. “I want you tell me what you feel, Jug. I want to know what you truly think of me. If I’m just crazy and think what we have is more than what it really is. You write so beautifully, Jughead. I’ve read your stuff and for someone who’s so elegantly articulate, you never use them with me. I want you to use your words, Jug.” Her voice was breaking and it pained Jughead to see her so upset. How did he not see this coming? How could he have been so blind?

“[Y/N],” He started, his mouth pursed as he tried to pick the perfect words from the garden in his brain. “We function without words. That’s how it’s always been. I couldn’t tell you when we started us, because in a way we were always us. Just somewhere along the line, you and I delved into different world and never left. It worked. I shouldn’t have to tell you that I care about you, [Y/N]. It’s written clear as day on my face when I kiss your lips.”

Closing her eyes, she bowed her head. “That’s the point. We never talked about us and maybe we should have because I’m so confused, Jug.”

His brows knitted together, the wrinkle along his forehead becoming more defined. “What are you confused about, [Y/N]?”

Looking at him in his eyes, she calmly asked. “Is your novel more important then what we have?”

Jughead hesitated, the words getting caught in his throat. Closing his mouth, he shook his head. “No.”

“Oh, Juggie.” She breathed, a tear falling from her eye. “If you had to think, then I know my answer.”

“What do you want me to do, [Y/N]! This is who I am, you knew this before you dived head first into my dark waters. I am not the only one to blame for this.”

Standing up, [Y/N] whimpered out. “I want you to fight for me, Jug. I want you to tell me I’m being crazy and that this-whatever I’m feeling will pass. That you’ll make it up to me or that you love me or something.”

Jughead stood up too, his eyes searching hers. “I don’t know what to say, [Nickname]. What I feel for you can’t be described because I really don’t know what I feel. You’ve always just been there, [Y/N]. I care for you, I do. I just don’t know what more I can give you then what I’m already giving you.”

She stepped forward, “What do you feel when you kiss me, Jug? What do you feel when you hold my hand? What do you feel when I’m lying on your chest in the middle of the night? What do you feel when you haven’t seen me all day? Do you even feel anything for me at all? Am I just some girl you can practice on for the real thing?” Tears were falling now, she couldn’t hold them back anymore. “We’ve been best friends since were six, Jughead. I’ve grown up with you, watched you turn into the person you are and fell in love with it all. You’re flaws, you’re oddly humorous morbid personality, everything.”

Shaking his head, and turning slightly away from her. His hand reached up to his forehead, “[Y/N],” he warned.

Taking in a deep breath to settle her tears, she scrunched up her nose and wiped underneath her nose. “I can’t do this anymore, Jug.” Biting her lip, she held back a whimper at his darkened facial expression. The cold look he gave her was enough to shatter her fragile heart.

“So, that’s it, then?” Jug asked coldly.

Avoiding his harsh stare, she softly spoke out. “I asked a simple question and you couldn’t give me the answer. So why should I pretend that I never asked? I screwed up, I had this picture in my head of how we are supposed to be and we are far from that picture.”

“You’re throwing away years of friendship because-“

“-because I love you, Jughead. It’s just like Betty and Archie except in our case, you fed it. You kissed me, you held me, you caressed me. Over and over again.” Moving the chair back to its place, she wiped away more tears. “I’m too emotionally invested in you to continue our friendship right now but maybe when I get over it, we can go back to how it used to be, the days before you first kissed me on my front porch.”

“[Y/N],” he called out to her.

Shaking her head, she headed for the door. Swinging it open, she looked over her shoulder and pressed a smile. “I’ll always love you, Jug. That I have no control over but they say the soul usually knows what to do to heal itself, the only challenge is to silence the mind.”

Jughead watched her walk out of the news room, his heart pounding in his chest. What in the world just happened? Never in a million years would he have ever pictured his life without [Y/N]. She was essential to his life. She had always been there, always. Despite Archie being his best friend, so was [Y/N] but in a different way. She believed in everything he wanted to do, no matter how crazy. She was always someone he could rely on no matter what. And even though she would still be present in his life by going to the same school.

It felt like a part of him had been ripped from his body and thrown away, lost in the cruel world they lived in. He felt empty.

“Juggie?” Betty was leaning against the doorframe, “Everything okay?”

He stood there for a minute, still stunned that apart of him just walked away from him. “No.” He shook his head, “No, everything is not okay.”


Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed – jnd