i always thought he was a chick in the movie tbh

Comments from Skam’s official website under some of the clips in season 3.

okay i found this kinda funny. since we’re in the beginning of a new season and we speculate on what’s gonna happen next, i went back to read the comments on some of the early clips on season 3 and thought i’d translate some. (if you don’t bother to read the long comments i’ve bolded the best part.) btw my absolute fav is X’s comment on the Ikke vær frekk clip omfggg


CLIP 3 EPISODE 1: Går ned på chicks:


hvor er først? (where is first?) wrote:
Sana and Eva seems hostile? Wonder what Isak used his rent on. Why doesn’t Jonas try to get an entry pass to try and look, (for the weed at eva’s) since Isak is met with an icefront. The season opens with so many questions that i’m going insane. Anyone else got the impression that Eskild was keen on Isak, but Isak wasn’t on Eskild?

Mari wrote:
handsome guy Isak spotted!!!

Ole Brum wrote:
I think Isak is actually not gay

gjesp wrote:
hope it doesn’t get this boring the whole season

Selima wrote:
OMG ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BET THAT ISAK’S BOYFRIEND IS GONNA BE NAMED JULIAN DAHL!!!!!!!!!!

Noen (somebody) wrote:
Isak looked at a boy. HE’S IN LOVE OMG.

randomhoe wrote:
bruh, Isak is booooooring, this whole season is gonna be boring, think about it. William quit and now “ISAK” that little cute guy has the main role?

CLIP 4 EPISODE 1: Kose-gruppa:

Evak 4 life wrote:
I bet that Isak and Even are gonna get together, I ship them, Evak (heartemoji). But I swear if Even is using Isak to get to Vilde then I swear I’ll be really mad. They are so cute together.

Mari wrote:
what was the deal with the paper towels Even took?

Kjedelig bruuuh? (boring bruuuh?) wrote:
I honestly think season 3 has been boring, I miss Noora and William.

CLIP 5 EPISODE 2: Grindr:

Hei wrote:
Now I think some of these comments are being too negative. This season is probably gonna be just as good or even better than season 1 and 2.

Zwup wrote:
Isak is bi and unsure, he’s curious about boys.

Anna wrote:
am I the only one who deep inside hopes Isak and Emma are gonna end up together?

Cath wrote:
I think it’s building up to that Isak is gonna believe/think/hope Even is gay, with support from Eskild’s comment on blowjob. And then Isak dare to either fall in love or hit on Even. Then he’ll be rejected and hurt and it’ll be stress and drama, cause Even isn’t gay. The moral to Andem must be to show that no hints can show who a person truly are, and through Isak we’ll learn this. I think Even and Emma are gonna fall for each other, and Isak will get a real downfall before he falls for another boy.

slitsomt wrote:
(some stuff about how boring it was that people loved Noora and William the instant they talked, and doesn’t like that people did the same with Isak and Even and) I rather hope that Isak “thinks” he likes Even and that Eskild supports Isak both against his christian parents and so on, and in the end they’ll fall in love because Eskild was always there for Isak. If Even and Isak ends up together it’ll be to obvious.

Snopet wrote:
I think Eskild and Isak will end up a couple. In the end Noora probably comes home from London and it’s over between her and William.

vet ikke (don’t know) wrote:
is Isak gay? or does he like girls?

Nila wrote:
the show sets up to that Isak is gonna come out of the closet, but I guess Julie Andem is gonna fool us all in the end. He’s not gay after all.

CLIP 6 EPISODE 2: Even:

lille my wrote:
I think they are charging up to season 4 already, sana <3<3

H wrote:
already better than season 2, feels good to finally have the real Skam back on after the Sahara of dry excitement last season.

UREALISTISK (unrealistic) wrote:
who the FUCK is dumb enough to take it (the weed) with them to school? not sana at least. Skam seriously?

Even er ikke intr (Even is not interested) wrote:
I think Even seems slick…. I’m sure he’s just gonna get Isak in trouble… and IT’S NOT gonna be Isak and Even.. Even seems obviously interested in girls,,, the way he looks at them and dig. It looks like he’s more interested in Vilde, nobody has noticed or commented on this? (and that thing about that somebody is gonna die.. Skam is going to a new level.. GOOD episode!)

Isak, Emma, Even :) wrote:
anyone else who thinks Isak should go down on chicks? maybe Emma?

CLIP 7 EPISODE 2: Ikke vær frekk:

X wrote:
This is starting to look more and more like Twilight. The stare between Isak and Even. Even’s hairstyle. The music that is being used. And even tho Even’s stare lasted to long I have to say that the director is getting some “inspiration” from the Twilight-movies. It’s like they met at the writers table and said “what if Twilight was about two boys instead of a boy and a girl?”. because Even is almost pale enough to play a metrosexual vampire.

lol wrote:
I thought season 3 was gonna be shit actually. but it’s alot better than before tbh XD

M wrote:
if Skam keeps this up Baz Luhrmann is gonna be able to sue NRK for copyright infringement. Fair enough with some Romeo and Juliet references but yeez, calm down.

So I just watched "I'm Not Ashamed"

Sorry if you’re extremely hypersensitive over spoilers but I’m going to lay this shit down on you anyway.

Firstly, Rachel’s story, for the most part, was told moderately accurate. They had her outfits to a tee and even had her real car which was pretty lit (it was still intact after all these years and was shown in an overly cheesy, sentimental scene at the end of the film). They had her faith down (obvs as it was the whole point of this film even being made) as well as her portrayal of character. However, as a result of this “holy af” reputation, they COMPLETELY stripped Rachel of her typical teenage antics by showcasing her as NOT being a smoker at a point in her life (hinting as if she was anti-smoking) and by also being anti-liquor. They also got the whole prom scene wrong as they made her attend it with an Asian guy and not Nick Baumgart. Furthermore, in this scene, they made Dylan look at her bitter sweetly as he was dancing with Robyn, giving a sense of him “wishing it was her” rather than Robyn, who they also made to appear as disinterested and not wanting to be there with him (which was totally false as we all know- Robyn was the one that urged HIM to go).

Secondly, there were a shitload of inaccuracies with Eric and Dylan (shock). Eric was a steroid abusing, middle-aged, hairy motherfucker in high school apparently who recited all the lines from his journal as he walked through the halls. Eric and Dylan apparently also wore their natural selection/wrath shirts to school every day without fail (probably for symbolism though). However, they weren’t in it as much as I would’ve liked tbh haha, like they legit only had a few lines. Anyways, at the beginning of the film (ish) Eric, Dylan and “Sean” (who really was Brooks Brown) walk through the halls and bag out a disabled kid called “Austin” who Rachel was VERY fond of. Then, a wild herd of jocks decide to rain on their parade as they reach for a bottle of baby oil, grab Eric Harris randomly and throw him through the halls whilst cackling loudly saying “now that’s what I call dork bowling he he he” or some shit. Then, Eric gets up and says “ I’ll kill you!” And the main jock is like “oooOooOooooO so scared” which leaves Dylan to mutter to “Sean” (Brooks) I’m going to make them pay (he has his boy’s back) with “Sean” (Brooks) replying with “ well that’s Columbine”. Then, Eric and Rachel have an interaction as she’s looking at him with pity to which Eric proceeds to shout at her “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT???!!!!?!!!l” to further exemplify his built up, all consuming, homicide inducing RAGE. Also, at the end of the film they try to attempt to “redeem” the jocks of their unscrupulous behaviour by having the jocks accept the disabled kid “Austin”.

To go on further about Eric and Dylan’s inconsistencies (because that’s why you’re on a Columbine blog ma dudes), they pretty much just make Eric this Hitler fanboying Neo-Nazi as he pays attention to Hitler’s ideologies in class and later on in another scene he’s depicted reading a book -wait for it- covered in swastikas. Also, there’s a cafeteria scene which most of y'all have probably already seen. Dylan is apparently obsessed with Rachel: he can’t take his eyes off the glorious, Christian temptress and they share a moment amidst Eric spewing his journal shit whilst wearing his natural selection shirt yet again. This scene also just pretty much makes Eric to be the “ring leader” and Dylan the “follower” who just fuels Eric’s ego by agreeing with him.

Furthermore, the film also aims to depict the deterioration of Eric and “Sean’s” (Brooks) relationship, mainly by picking up a recounted argument that Brooks wrote about in “No Easy Answers” (they also plugged his book at the end of the film I swear but maybe it was just coincidence. Rachel says it while talking to “David” (Richard Castaldo) in conjunction to how there’s no easy way to say that a divorce between parents doesn’t get better). “Sean” (Brooks) was oversleeping and Eric calls him FUMING, demanding him to hurry up and take him to school. They get in a fight and to sum it up, Eric says to “Sean” (Brooks) “I’LL KILL YOU” (edgy) and then hangs up the phone (fuck the natural selection shirt, Reb should just be seen wearing Regina George’s “a little bit dramatic” one).

Another inconsistency with Eric and Dylan (surprise) is where they’re playing video games in Eric’s basement. Dylan pretty much is depicted as kissing Eric’s ass as he says “oh man!!!! Imagine if this were Columbine???!!!” And Eric says really REALLY seriously “why shouldn’t it be?” To this Dylan replies, “oh no way man that’s sick.” This just further propagates that Eric came up with the idea and shared it with Dylan (totally false) and further reinforces that Eric is the “leader”.

The next big inconsistency was Rachel’s speech on causing a chain reaction with kindness. First off, Eric and Dylan weren’t even in that class and secondly, they never even heard that recital but they were depicted to have. Rachel goes on and on about how much of a Christian she is and the camera pans showing Eric and Dylan looking affected. Then, the teacher proceeds to play the iconic “Hitmen for Hire” short film (which tbh had better editing skills than Eric and Dyl’s original one did but it was the 90s when they did it so we can cut them some slack). As she introduces it, the bitch is like, “and NEXT we have Eric and Dylan’s PIECE on how they would change the WORLD”. She legit only goes through it for like a second and Rachel is all squeamish like “oh do we really have to watch this?” To which the teacher states “no we DO NOT HNNNNGGGGH”. Then Dylan pretty much shouts with his “boisterous” personality “and that right there is the BESTTTT WAY TO CHANGE THE WORLD HAHAHAHA PEW PEW PEW” *makes gun motions with fingers*.

Now the funniest thing ever is the scene that follows the “pew pew pew” one and its this fictitious, add-on scene. Pretty much, Eric and Dyl are having this super secret meet up (ooooOoooO perfect for those chicks that ship them. The directors really provided for ALL of their target audiences) on this stairwell. Then, Rachel proceeds to walk up this stairwell and encounters them. Eric gets all mad and gangs up on her “so what’s with this Jesus crap?” to which Dylan intervenes, “yeah think you’re better than us???¿¿?” And Rachel’s all like, “no I don’t think I’m better than anybody. I have to get to class.” Then Eric full on staunches and shouts out “yeah compassion????!!! That’ll work!!!” (Major foreshadowing here kids).

Lastly, we have the scene you’ve all been waiting for: The Massacre Sce- oh wait it’s just total and unequivocal blackness after Rachel gets shot. Realllllly riveting and reallllllly climactic. It literally made me go all Reb after watching it because that’s what I was waiting for! That’s what it was building up to!!!! But it totally and utterly disappointed. In this scene, we have the infamous propaganda painted all over it that has been circling the Columbine archives for far too long now and that is the most overused, shouldn’t-be-recognised-as-fact quote… The question that was “supposedly” always stated by the boys: “DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD????” I didn’t think they would have it in those specific words (tried to have hope) because of what was depicted in the trailer but they fucking were. The scene starts off with Rachel and “David” (Richard Castaldo) talking about “David’s” parents getting a divorce. He confides in Rachel because she’s gone through it but she has “no easy answers”. Then, “David” sees Eric and Dylan approaching and says, “woah what is this, like a prank?” to which he is replied with by gunshots. Rachel is slain and is gasping in pain and Eric states mockingly, “where’s your God now?” At this point, he grabs her by the hair and says “ do you believe in God, Rachel?” She then says simply “yes” and at this stage of their supposed interaction, Eric puts his gun to her temple and says maliciously, “well, go be with your God now.” After this, the screen goes blank and shows real footage of the massacre’s events and this is then followed by a dramatisation of the flowers being put on her car by friends, family (grieving Craig Scott) and foe alike and also a simulated funeral.

Well, this was longer than I thought it would be but I surely fucking hope it gave someone an insight of what the movie is like without spending a dime; someone who didn’t want to see the film for obvious, understandable reasons. I love you fellow Columbine-infatuated kids. Stay murderous 😉😘❤️

anonymous asked:

your skam hc are so nice. do some kosegruppa ones and make me happy

  • vilde wanted to lead kosegruppa because it would up her social standing as much as a revue group can, but her friends know better. with chris hanging out with kasper all the time (“one time i saw them post-make-out and chris’s face looked like a lollipop, there was so much spit,” eva says, shuddering) and noora in london, vilde’s holding on to any chance they have to hang out as a group. sana’s first thought is kinda like “smiling at strangers?? oh no there’s a vetting process for people i’m willing to smile at” but it’s vilde and her soft spot for vilde runs a lot deeper than just a spot.
  • isak’s apartment turns into the default party destination. noora’s obligated because she’s vilde’s friend, but isak somehow always gets talked into it. at this point, vilde has figured out that even is isak’s weakness, and even’s weakness is doing nice things for his friends with no ulterior motive. vilde literally just asks even, even pouts at isak, and it works. isak thinks it’s all part of a grand conspiracy, though, and one day he’ll be asked to discreetly get rid of some first-year girl who’s wronged vilde. or something.
  • even and isak become the default Host Couple because they’re too busy being gross with each other to get totally wasted, and magnus and vilde keep disappearing together. it’s horrifyingly domestic being the ones watching over everything, making sure eva doesn’t drunk text people, cleaning up after their messy friends, but it makes them feel more permanent, somehow
  • the Boys constantly talk about how kosegruppa is lame, but two of them are Whipped, which turns out to be a problem. they help out with the revue over break while listing out literally anything else they could be doing: smoking, hanging out with the dance chicks, jumping on all the beds in ikea, throwing themselves into incoming traffic and relieving themselves of the burden of existence, but isak’s like “dude, you could just…..leave” and they’re like. no?? what kind of friends do you think we are?? bros stick together?? this is insulting.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

"im still trying to figure out my sexuality and all i know is that im definitely not straight around you" for chikariko? idk if youll do sunshine but this event has me excited

this has been here for actual weeks because i am very nervous about messing up the characterization but it’s rude to leave an ask unanswered,,,, so im going to give it a shot,, sorry for making you wait so long!! I hope this isnt too bad haha. i feel like riko would probably be the uncertain one because chika plays softball and i refuse to believe she doesnt have some idea of how gay she is

this wasn’t as funny as usual because tbh ive never had to write a character that didnt like for sure know they were gay and boy is it a toughie,,, but i think this is still some pretty decent Lesbian Origin Story if i do say so myself lmao


“Aww, we’re out of popcorn!”

Riko blinked, turning to face Chika, who was pouting and sticking her hand in the bowl up to the elbow as if it was a deep chasm and not something she could see into normally. Riko hadn’t even had a chance to eat much of it yet, and it was already gone…? Riko raised an eyebrow.

Chika grabbed the bowl and stood up so abruptly and so quickly that Riko almost fell over on the couch. “I guess I’ll just have to make some more then! Stay right here, okay? I don’t want you to miss any of the movie!”

“Uh, sure.” She replied evenly, glancing over to the still-ongoing film. “You said you’ve already seen this one, right?”

She nodded excitedly and then remembered her task and sprinted into the kitchen to get started on the next bowl of popcorn, humming loudly and tapping the counter while she waited for the hastily thrown in kernels to begin popping in the pot.

Riko wasn’t sure if she envied the energy that Chika put into everything or admired it, but perhaps the feeling was more along the lines of endearment?

She didn’t feel like imitating the redhead, and sometimes her behavior was troublesome or even borderline annoying, but she couldn’t help but feel positively about the trait. Was that a normal thing? Yoshiko was energetic too, but it didn’t stir quite the same feeling.

Riko sighed and tried to put her mind back on the movie. The characters were talking about something, one girl tilting her head to the side curiously while a man held a sword up and gestured wildly while he spoke. After a sizable monologue on his part, the girl raised a gun and shot him. Riko flinched.

Chika sure liked her action movies, didn’t she? She guessed it suited her, sort of.

The girl in question slid back into the room, bearing a bowl of freshly-made popcorn. “Oh! Oh! That was one of the best scenes!” She slung an arm around Riko’s shoulder while she talked animatedly; Riko was too distracted by the contact to register a word she said.

Keep reading

(This is set in like a normal life au thing…also I did it @m-arci-a !! It’s based on several of your drawings cause they are all amazing tbh sorry it’s so short!!)

The ding of a notification stopped Lance in his tracks as he paced around the room, bored out of his mind. Pulling the phone from his pocket and unlocking it as fast as possible, he was hoping for something exciting to cure the monotonous feeling of the day so far, Lance saw the text message under the name Keith and felt a smile lighten his face as he read the words, ‘hey, you busy?’.

“Not really, unless you count busy being bored.’

‘yeah, i don’t believe that counts.’

'Then I’m free. What’s up?’

'it’s a secret. also, i am literally turning onto your road.’

The smile on Lance’s face grew bigger, taking a moment to admire the little quirk of Keith’s texts. Always lower case, no matter the situation. The whole “good because I’m already here” was new though.

A particular skip worked it’s way into Lance’s steps as he hurried to get ready, throwing on his jacket to protect him from the cool autumn air. He was out quick as a heat beat, standing in the driveway as he waited for Keith with a huge smile.

The rumble of a motorcycle turned Lance’s attention toward Keith, and he approached the beginning of his driveway as Keith pulled up with a grin on his face.

“So, what’s the surprise you wanted to tell me.” Lance inquired, crossing his arms with a playful smirk settling on his face

“Not yet, Lance, it’ll stay a secret until we get there.” Keith replied, settling himself on his motorcycle in a relaxed manner. His eyes had a teasing spark in them, a smug look of  his face. He knew secrets killed Lance.

“Alright, sourpus, if you want it to be a secret it will be.” Lance teased, joining Keith on the vehicle. “I’m guessing the secret is a place, though.”

“That is a question I can answer and yes, yes it is.” Keith replied while checking if everything was set.

Once assured it was safe to go, they began to move along the road. The air, chilly and biting in the wind, seemed to soak right through Lance’s jacket, and by instinct he found himself gripping his boyfriend tighter for extra warmth.

A smile lighted Keith’s lips, but Lance couldn’t even see it. Autumn leaves around them fell, swooning at the couple as they rode past. Even the light seemed to spotlight on the little things in their relationship, taking great pleasure in displaying the sappiness of the two.

They didn’t speak, speaking is dangerous and takes a lot of effort when riding a motercycle, but they seemed to be having a conversation. The way they comfortably rode together, the way nature complemented them together.

When Keith finally stopped the motercycle, having arrived at the destination, Lance didn’t let go for a few more seconds, letting out a slight whine when Keith finally decided it was time to go and left him there on the motercycle alone.

“Come on you big sap. I wanna show you something."  Keith said, a tease in his voice as he made his way away from the motercycle.

Lance followed, quite begrudgingly because he wanted to cuddle just a little longer before walking, cheering up when he saw Keith enter a forest.

Jogging to catch up with him, Lance grabbed his hand, while Keith seemed to interest himself in the scenery around him, stalling for time. He reached down and grabbed a leaf, orange from the fall season, grinning as he showed it to Lance.

"I’m so glad it’s autumn.” He said, letting the leaf fall to the ground. “It’s sentimental for me.”

“Sentimental?” Lance inquired, turning his gaze to Keith’s.

For a moment the other boy’s face fell, but as fast as it was there it was gone, and he was speaking. “Just…old life stuff. Anyway, we’re almost there.”

They walked together in silence, but a comfortable one, Lance knowing to not pry when Keith got like this. He would tell him in his own time, though Lance’s stubborn and competitive attitude fought him with every fiber of its being.

As they rounded a corner that Keith had taken sharply, a large tree came to view. It was secluded from the others, it’s leaves a orange and yellow and fluttering to the ground. On a large branch was two ropes tied to a plank of wood, a makeshift swing. It was almost surreal, like a scene from a movie, and Keith was grinning like a little kid.

“Wow…” Lance muttered, turning to look at Keith’s excited expression. “I didn’t take you as a person to have a secret swing in the forest.”

Keith shrugged with a smile still plastered to his face, which was nice since he almost never smiled unless it was just him and Lance and even then it was normally fleeting . “ I had a lot of time as a child. It let me have a place to think.”

“I feel like I’m in a chick flick.” Lance said, his response as light punch in the arm, and he laughed as he continued. “Really though, it’s very sweet. This place must be very special for you, thank you for sharing it with me.”

“I thought it would be nice to share a place special to me since, well,” Keith trailed off, blushing like crazy,“Anyway, want to stay here for a while? Unless you have to go then…”

“No, no, I’d love to stay here with you!” Lance said, grinning at how cute Keith looked when he was flustered. While Keith may have failed to complete the sentence, the fact he had tried was enough for Lance.

Laying down underneath the tree on the crunching leaves that colored the ground with brilliant warm colors, they settled, sitting comfortably underneath this place of safety. As they cuddled they were silent other than commenting on the scenery and chatting about random subjects from time to time.

They stayed there for a long while, and even after that day they would keep returning there. It was their safe place, a place where they could relax and just talk. A place where even nature smiled down on their relationship. Their safehaven.

anonymous asked:

May I request a cap imagine where he and the reader are close friends but he loves her and he always tells her in French but she doesn't understand until one day he finally does thank you

Originally posted by isthatyourgrandadscoat

The gif isn’t relevant, or mine, it’s just hot you’re welcome.

Masterpost

HI ANON YES YOU CAN! It’s going to be short but I hope you like it! Translations will be in brackets because it’s much easier! My french is actually French-Canadian french so I hope that doesn’t throw anyone off but I’m too lazy to type everything into Google translate so you’re getting my french weird french instead. Hopefully my grammar is ok? 

French Steve is like, my dream Steve because we would talk shit about the other Avengers/Their drama together and no one would understand (Except maybe Nat because she probably speaks it tbh)


“Tu es plue belle de les étolies dans le ciel. (You are more beautiful than the stars in the sky.)

You giggled like a small child, “It’s just so mesmerizing when you talk like that! Can Bucky do it too?”

Steve smiled up at you, his head lay in your lap and the two of you were sprawled on the couch. The movie you’d started watching was playing on the TV, but the two of you ignored it completely now. The main character had made a joke in French and since you knew Steve spoke it, you started pestering him to say things over and over because you liked his accent.

“Yeah, Bucky’s not too bad.” He shrugged, “He can’t do the accent very well, but he tries.”

You laughed. His attempt at being nice about his best friend was cute. “So basically his French is shit.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“But you didn’t disagree!” You argued with a grin, “Come on, say something else!”

His bit his lip in thought, trying to figure out what to say next. “Um…Quand tu n’es pas avec moi, mon coeur souffre pour tu. (When you’re not with me my heart aches/suffers for you.)”

“Wow Rogers, you could pick up some serious chicks with that kind of talk!” You teased ruffling his hair and the cheekily poking his forehead.

He blushed, a shy smile reaching his lips. “Unfortunately she’d have to understand it or she’d be completely clueless as to what I’m trying to tell her.”

“Eh,” You made a face. “That part is important too but I just think that maybe the accent is enough to get them to swoon.”

“It sure seems to make you swoon.” He pointed out with another shy smile. 

You’re face got slightly hot because you couldn’t really disagree. “Yeah, well…French is a very romantic language…”

Steve sat up, and pulled you closer until you were practically on his lap. “Je adore vos yeux, elles sont très belles.”

You legs fell to either side of his lap and your arms slowly made their way around his neck. You bit your lip, “What does that mean?”

I love your beautiful eyes.”

Your eyes slightly widened, surprised that he had said something so sweet to you. He was smiling brightly, his lips looking so soft and inviting. You leaned in slightly, not even thinking twice about what you were doing.

“Tu es magnifique. (You’re gorgeous.)” He breathed, his face a mere inches from yours.

“Ok,” You blurted cluelessly, pulling him forward and smashing your lips against his roughly. The two of you made out for almost an hour on the couch, neither of you able to stop. 

The truth is, Steve was hot but he was also one of your best friends and you’d never really thought - much - about kissing him. You didn’t want to ruin anything. But now that it happened there was no stopping it, you were falling hardcore for America’s Sweetheart.

“Je t’aime.” He whispered against your lips, you knew what that meant. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You pulled away breathlessly, a huge grin plastered on your face. “Oui.”


Je t’aime = I love you + Oui = yes, aha

That was fun! Hope you liked it!!

You want an analysis? YOU WANT AN ANALYSIS? Well BUCKLE UP BOYS AND GIRLS CAUSE WE’RE GOING ANALYZING.

FIRST STOP. LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS WHOLE ‘SHE ONLY LIKES HIM CAUSE HE’S A HERO’ THING. CAUSE THAT GETS REAL OLD REAL FAST. PLEASE REFER TO YOUR CLOSEST COPY OF HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. A GIF WILL DO. OR EVEN AN IMAGE IF YOU’RE REALLY SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL.

THIS ONE LADIES AND GENTS. OBSERVE. OTHER TEENS: STANDING, SMILING, ACTIVELY ENGAGING HICCUP. ASTRID’S JUST SITTING. WATCHING. WITH WHAT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE DISAPPOINTMENT. THE OTHER TEENS COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE ACTUAL DESTRUCTION THAT HICCUP CAUSED. ASTRID DOES. ASTRID CARES. WE MAY NEVER KNOW IF SHE’S DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE THE RAID ENDED BADLY, IF SHE DISLIKES THEM TEASING HICCUP, OR BOTH. BUT THE POINT IS– SHE NEVER PARTICIPATES IN TEASING HIM. NEVER.

ASTRID IS NOT EVEN INDIFFERENT TO HICCUP. ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION, SHE PUSHES HIM TO PARTICIPATE. SHE KNOWS HE’S CAPABLE OF MORE THAN WHAT HE’S PUTTING OUT BECAUSE LET’S BE HONEST, HICCUP IS SASSY AND GREAT, BUT IF HE’S NOT PASSIONATE ABOUT IT, HE’S KIND OF AN UNDERACHIEVER. HICCUP’S GOT SHIT TO DO, HE DON’T CARE. SHE WATCHES WHEN HE LEAVES, SHE LOOKS AT HIM WHEN HE TALKS, SHE EVEN TRIES TO INSTRUCT HIM IN TRAINING. WHEN SHE FINALLY SNAPS IT’S BECAUSE HICCUP ISN’T SHOWING MORE PASSION/INITIATIVE. NOT BECAUSE SHE’S A BITCH, NOT BECAUSE HE’S DIFFERENT, NOT BECAUSE HE SCREWS UP. 

SO YEAH, WHEN STUFF STARTS TAKING OFF FOR HIM, SHE’S SUSPICIOUS. JEALOUS, YES, BECAUSE SHE’S WORKED HER ASS OFF FOR WHAT HE’S GETTING. BUT SHE’S A SMART CHICK. SHE KNOWS SOMETHING’S OFF. SHE CORNERS HIM, ROMANTIC FLIGHT HAPPENS, DREAMWORKS STABS HER CHARACTER IN THE FACE, WE ALL KNOW THE DRILL. WHEN THEY GET BACK, SHE ASKS IF HE’S GOING TO RISK EVERYTHING FOR TOOTHLESS. HE SAYS YES. THAT IS THE EXACT MOMENT IN TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WHEN HICCSTRID IS BORN. WHEN HICCUP THE USELESS FINALLY TAKES A STAND. FROM THAT MOMENT ON, ASTRID REALIZES THAT HE’S NOT AS APATHETIC AS SHE THOUGHT. ASTRID HATES APATHY. NOT HICCUP.

FAST FORWARD. CLIFF SCENE. TBH I REALLY AM NOT A FAN OF THIS SCENE. I THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN SCRIPTED BETTER. BUT IT STILL SHOWS ASTRID’S CHARACTER AND SINCERE AFFECTION FOR HICCUP. EXHIBIT A. SHE’S FUCKING THERE. HICCUP’S JUST WATCHED HIS FATHER, TRIBE, AND BEST FRIEND SAIL TO THEIR DEATHS. SHE’S THERE. TO PUSH HIM. JUST LIKE IN TRAINING. SHE KNOWS HE CAN DO MORE. SO SHE TRIES TO TALK TO HIM. SHE KNOWS SHE’S NOT GOOD AT IT. WHO STARTS A PEP TALK WITH, “YOU’VE LOST EVERYTHING”? SHE PRESSES. SHE SAYS, “I WANT TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAY RIGHT NOW." 

WHY? HER LIFE HAS JUST CHANGED ON A DIME GUYS. 24 HOURS AGO SHE HATED DRAGONS AND WANTED TO SLAY EVERY SINGLE ONE. EVERYTHING SHE THOUGHT SHE KNEW ABOUT HONOR AND HER CULTURE AND THEIR 'SIDE’ OF THE WAR IS CHANGING, BUT IN THIS MOMENT, SHE’S THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR WHAT HICCUP SAYS. SHE NEEDS TO KNOW IT’S NOT ALL FOR NAUGHT. THIS IS ONE OF TWO VERY OVERLOOKED FLASHES OF VULNERABILITY FOR ASTRID. THE OTHER IS WHAT EVERYBODY KNOWS AS THE CHEESIEST LINE IN THE FILM– "GO.” RIGHT THERE, EVERYTHING SHE LOVES AND HOLDS DEAR IS IN THE HANDS OF ONE KID ON A DRAGON. IT’S THE DUMBEST LINE EVER, BUT IT ALSO MAKES YOU REALIZE. THIS GIRL HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE PEOPLE COULD DEPEND ON TO BE STRONG, TO FIGHT. AND NOW SHE’S USELESS. SHE FEELS HELPLESS. SO SHE SAYS THE WORLD’S STUPIDEST LINE BECAUSE SHE’S TERRIFIED.

RED DEATH DEATH. TEARY ASTRID. ONE LEGGED HICCUP. HICCSTRID HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

NOW LOOK BACK AT THE WHOLE THING. COUNT THE TIMES ASTRID REALLY SMILES. THREE. ONE– ROMANTIC FLIGHT. TWO– “HE’S ALIVE!” THREE– AFTER KISSING THAT SCRAWNY LITTLE VIKING TEEN RIGHT ON THE MOUTH. IT’S NOT LIKE ASTRID DOESN’T SPEND HALF THE MOVIE SURROUNDED BY HER GROUP OF FRIENDS. THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING TO MAKE HER SMILE, RIGHT? SHE’S TOO STRESSED ABOUT SAVING HER VILLAGE AND REGAINING HER FAMILY’S HONOR (FLIGHTMARE EPISODE, FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED). SHE’S ZUKO YA’LL. SELF DISCIPLINE. HONOR. THOSE ARE TWO OF HER BIGGEST CORE VALUES.

HICCUP NEEDS ASTRID TO GROUND HIM. KEEP HIM FROM MAKING EXCUSES. ASTRID NEEDS HICCUP TO GET HER OUT OF HER HEAD. THEY COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER. THEY PUSH EACH OTHER. THEY MAKE EACH OTHER GROW. THAT’S CANON, BITCH.