i always feel like someone is watching me

How focusing (aka. not multi-tasking) changed my study life

I had heard it occasionally - that multi-tasking was actually not good for the quality of whatever task I was doing. It made sense, but I loved mult-tasking so much. It gave me the illusion of productivity

Until I actually tried focusing for a while, did I realise how much I was actually losing by multi-tasking -  educationally and emotionally. Scrolling through tumblr during boring parts of a lecture seemed fine, since there were notes and it probably wouldn’t be tested in such depth anyway. Eating, while scrolling through social media, while watching a tv show, while messaging someone on facebook seemed ‘productive’. 

It turns out it was the opposite. It may seem fine, and at times it may actually be okay, but what matters is the principle. Dedicating your whole being to one task, focusing on it, produces much better results. It’s a quality over quantity thing. It also helped to calm me down emotionally - I used to always feel rushed, like there was so many things to do but not enough time to do them. Focusing on one task at a time - though it was hard at first - helped slow me down because I did everything properly, and didn’t have the feeling like I needed to go back and do things over again. 

Focusing on one thing wholly is also a form of practising mindfulness. Mindfulness ‘meditation’ isn’t something that requires you to sit down and meditate - it can be applied to our daily life. 

Since I started practising this mindful skill of focus, I’ve become much calmer, it’s been so much easier to stay on top of my work load and meet deadlines, I don’t feel rushed, I don’t feel unprepared or unorganised, and I do more quality work than when I used to multi-task.

There are times for multi-tasking and times for focus. Find the right balance and enjoy the task in front of you.

im watching a girl on the bus put on lip balm.
her hair is rained on and pulled into a tiny loop on the back of her head.
i feel connected to her because we are both wet and wearing lipstick and heavy shoes
she is pulling sunglasses out of her backpack and pulling a piece of hair off her face. she is sliding a pin against her head.
she moves her hands like someone is watching. I think we all do this.
I wonder if
girls are poetic because we simply are or because someone is always watching us. being a voyeur makes me feel less innocent.

but still I wonder what she is reading. i wonder if the lipstick she’s wearing is her favorite or if it’s just the one she had in her pocket today. i wonder who she is going to meet tonight.

When she’s getting off the bus she smiles at me and i feel at ease. i want to tell her she is beautiful but I remember that every time a stranger told me I was beautiful it has made me feel uneasy. so I watch her go and I am grateful

So... Solas and Zathrian

I’m replaying Origins because it’s been a while, and I got to the part with the Dalish, and I’ve been noticing the similarities between Solas and Zathrian. Yes, they are both bald elven mages who lived a long time. But no, go deeper than that.

Zathrian talks about the pain he carries, how he’s lived for so long that pain has become ingrained in him, and he’s not certain he’s even capable of letting it go anymore.

And there’s a conversation between Solas and Cole to similar effect:

  • Cole: You are quiet, Solas. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still.
  • Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighed against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence.

And that’s just really interesting to me, personally. And then I’m watching the cutscene between Zathrian and The Lady and I notice something else.

You know that scene in Inquisition where Solas leads you to Skyhold and he always has the same staff no matter what you have him equipped with?

And I’ve always thought that was strange. Why would the devs to that? Like, “We need him to have this staff in this scene. No, we’re not going to tell you why. Just do it.”


emhahee-deactivated20170506  asked:

drarry hc: Weird habits Or dancers AU Or the one where Harry loves watching Draco do the dishes Or or or Ahhhans

Draco didn’t need to turn around to know that he was being watched. The only thing he just couldn’t figure out was why.

At first Draco was sure he was imagining things, but in the weeks since they’d first moved into a flat together his suspicions had been wholly confirmed.

Harry liked to watch him do the dishes.

Draco couldn’t understand why Harry was constantly staring at him when he did them. At first he’d been defensive, snapping at him that first night that he could certainly do some things without magic and how Harry didn’t need to stare. Only instead of getting angry Harry had looked embaressed before mumbling something unintelligible and leaving the room.

A few days later he’d caught him staring and tried to make a joke of it, “Got a kink that involves yellow dish gloves and a sink of dirty dishes, Potter?”

Harry had just blinked a few times, before closing his eyes and disapperating with a loud pop so sudden Draco had dropped his favorite teacup.

Which is why, despite the fact that he can feel Harry’s eyes on him once again as he cleans up the remnants of the steak and kidney pie they’d had he doesn’t make any funny jokes or snide remarks. Instead he stays silent despite the curiosity burning a hole in his brain.

It’s a few weeks before the subject is broached again.

Draco is puttering around the kitchen, placing the dishes from tea in the sink when Harry comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him in a firm hug. There’s something shaky in his voice when he whispers “Do you want to know why I like watching you do the dishes?”

Draco is almost too nervous to speak, so he nods instead. He’s almost afraid Harry hasn’t noticed his nod though because he doesn’t speak at first, but then Draco quite suddenly he feels Harry press the side of his face against Draco’s shoulder inhaling deeply before he starts to speak.

“I never thought I’d have this…someone to share things with like this. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were always so angry. She used to slam the dishes into the sink like she resented having to cook or clean for us, or she made me do them. I used to think that was just what family was like. Then I met the Weasley’s and I remember the first time I saw Mrs. Weasley doing dishes without magic…she told me she didn’t mind because it meant she had a family to take care of. You….you look like that when you do them; as if it’s not a chore. It makes me feel,” and at this Draco can feel Harry’s hands begin to shake. “It sounds stupid I know but….seeing you so happy even doing our dishes makes me think you’re happy with me. That we’re gonna make it. That…you won’t ever leave.”

Draco swallows, feeling like his entire world is spinning because they don’t do this….this talking about feelings things often. Both of them have always been better with actions than words. But for once he knows actions won’t be enough.

So Draco turns, placing his hand on Harry’s chin and tilting his head up just a bit so he’s looking him in the eye.

“I’m not leaving, Harry. Not ever. I want this life and I want you.”



Ribbon Day Meme

It’s Ribbon Day in Hyrule! Send in a ribbon color and my muse will decide where they want to tie it. Alternatively, send in 🎀 if you want my muse to pick a color for you, then you reblog where to tie it.

This isn’t strictly bound to Legend of Zelda characters so all are welcome to try.

Ribbon Colors

Red - “I love you”; “You’re the most important person in my life”
Orange - “Thank you for all that you’ve given me”; “Let’s take care of each other”
Yellow - Friendship; “Let’s keep being friends”, “You make me smile”
Green - Business partners; “Let’s shoot for the stars together and make it big”
Blue - Family bond; “You’re like family to me”
Violet - A strange but happy bond; “Someone is watching you and hopes you are happy regardless.”
Pink - Secret Admirer; “My feelings are complicated” 
White - “Thank you for choosing me”; “I’ll always be loyal to you”; commonly associated with marriage but can mean other things
Black - “I’ll always love you even if you can’t see me anymore.”
Grey - "I don’t like you but for today lets have fun and fight again tomorrow” 

Where to tie it

On the reciever’s doorknob (if the sender is shy/on anon you have to include this action) - “Please notice how I feel.”
Around the pinky - “I will never forget you”
Around the neck - “I return your feelings.”
In a pony tail - “I devote my life to you.”
Around your wallet - “Let’s find success together.”
In a braid - “I hope we’re all tied together until the end.”
On the bedpost - “I hope you’ll find your way home no matter how far you are”
Around the wrist - “I hope we’re always happy together.”
Around the ankle - “I begrudgingly accept”
On a weapon - “I will protect you with my life.”
In the trash/on the ground - “I reject your emotions.”

I am not shy. Having a social disorder does not make you shy. I can be loud. I laugh a lot. I’m outspoken and will do crazy stuff. I can take up all the space and I can voice my opinion. I can take attention. But ONLY around people I’m comfortable with.

I get panicked at the shop. I can’t go shopping or anywhere on my own. I can’t pay for items by myself. I have to count my change 20 times first. If I can’t plan the conversation I won’t talk to them. Talking to people i don’t know is almost impossible and talking in front of people is torture. I have to rehearse the words yes Mrs every morning to answer a register. If I’m out alone i can’t breath. Someone is always judging me. The way I look, how i walk, the clothes i wear… if someone laughs it’s always at me. These thoughts will drown me. I am terrified of telling new people about my interests from fear of judgement. When out with friends i will always watch what i say, I might slip up otherwise and everyone will hate me. I worry my friends just don’t know how to get rid of me. Every. Single. Day. When I leave a social situation i always regret most of what I say and think nobody really likes me. They just tolerate me. When someone asks if I’m ok. I have to say yes. If I talk about my real feelings, they will think I’m annoying and won’t care. They will call me dramatic. So it’s easier to say I’m good. If a friend even jokes about me. I take it to heart and pretend it’s funny. The minute I’m alone, I think of ways to change. I dwell on awkward moments that I shouldn’t. I can’t make eye contact, its to much. I cross the street so I don’t pass anyone. I’m terrified when someone says can we talk. I have read this post about 100 times for mistakes, from fear someone will point out a flaw.

These are some of what I go through. But I am not shy. No where near. Don’t confuse the two. There’s shyness but there’s also social disorders. They are not the same thing.

Perks of dating a fangirl (Or fanboy)

Okay, so lately I have been thinking what the perks of dating someone like me would be. By me, I mean those fandom obsessive people who have more fictional lovers than we would care to admit. 

So I have compiled a really random list of the total benefits of dating a crazy person fangirl or fanboy. Feel free to add more.

Originally posted by queenofhelldarlin

We know what it means to love someone who can’t love you back - so we always put our all into a relationship. 

Most often we are reading fanfiction or watching anime or series - Which is prime cuddle opportunities. 

Originally posted by inkymint

We are less needy - We like our alone time, after all we need time to obsess over our fandoms. 

We tell things like they are, we don’t sugar coat things- fangirls and fanboys spend most of their lives in a make-believe world filled with imaginary characters and ideas. When we are in the real world we often prefer to be honest about things with real people.

We are pretty easy to please- I don’t mean this is a rude way, but most fangirls and boys want three things. Our fanfiction or anime. A quiet place. And no judgment as we cry and scream over our obsession. Simple right?

We are incredibly loyal – keep in mind most of us will wait years for our favorite anime, manga, book or series to come out. I am pretty sure we would be able to commit to a long-term relationship.

We would only cheat on you with fictional characters – you never have to worry about us cheating on you, because the only men or women we ever really meet are stuck in our fictional worlds.

So if you are looking for your next conquest, then rather stay away from fangirl or fanboy. We are notoriously crazy.

youdliketoknow  asked:

I'm sorry why do people call you mom?

It started with an anon ask sometime last year, when someone said they wished they had someone like me to call ‘mom’ because their own mother was awful to them, and they had talked to me before on anon and I’d always helped them feel better and made them feel accepted and like someone cared.

I’ve always regarded myself as the hungover aunt in sitcoms who rolls up to watch the kids as a last resort, but that ask broke my heart and I extended the offer that they could call me mom if it made them feel better.

A week later several other people had started calling me mom, and then some more and some more and I just kinda shrugged and said to my husband “Hey honey, we’ve adopted some kids, you’re an tumblr dad" and he rolled his eyes and waited patiently for the nickname to die.

Now on any average week I have some 200 different people messaging me and calling me mom, sometimes they do it just because they see others doing it, other times it’s because the word is important to them and they like being able to use it to talk to someone who doesn’t hurt them. I’m okay with either.

Someone yelled “tumblr mom” at me in the grocery store the other week and I responded.
Even ETD previously known on this blog as “husband”, has started responding to “Dad”.

In short I get called mom because for some reason, the Internet decided to adopt me as one. And there isn’t a day goes by I’m not glad of it. Found family is important, and I’m glad I’ve found mine.

anonymous asked:

hi, I just watched 3x20 Olicity sex without BG music lol, I don’t know how many times I watch it, but after this week episode I feel it’s ok to watch few more times hahaha. So it’s only me that when I watch it,I feel like I kinda intrude lol all the moans and all that intimate stuff hahha. it’s not really an ask, but I thought I will share with you

Oh my god, it’s so intimate, anon, so intimate. I just watched it again (and again, and a few more times because why not) and it always strikes me how much I feel like I’m peeping in on someone. Which I guess I am but it really speaks to the kind of scene we got between them. I can’t believe how much we got, it feels like I’m watching something on a different network, and that they took the time to explore the intimacy and love and intensity between them

(One of my favorite moments because you know she’s straddling him and where are the dailies from this scene?!)

One thing that strikes me is that it’s so silent save for the rustling of clothes and the heavy breathing and the moans…

(god the moans like when he’s carrying her over to the bed lord save me), 

… it makes it so much more intimate. Logically I know they’re on a set and they’re filming and whatever but…

It’s also because they wanted it that way, to show how much they are focused on each other, on feeling

There’s only so much you can say and then there’s communicating everything through touch and sensation

i am undone

my soul is on fire all over again

There are over 23 million views of this video alone - 23 million views - aka a bunch of us have watched this thing literally hundreds of times.

All a stage (Reader x Yondu Udonta)

A/N: I’ve been looking for a way to use this song in any of my fics. It’s suuuuuch a good cover. I am a broken human being, btw. Warning: Spoilers ahead!


Originally posted by scorpling

I don’t want your number (no)
I don’t want to give you mine and (no)
I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no)
Don’t want none of your time and
No, I don’t want no scrub

Yondu Udonta liked to see your performances when he could. It wasn’t often, but every time he did appear, you were glad. It meant he was still alive and still safe. No one knew, but every time you saw that Centurian in the crowd, your performances would be particularly phenomenal that evening.

You liked to joke and tell him that he was your lucky charm and that he should visit more often, but the both of you knew it was just a half-hearted ploy for him to see you more because anytime he was at your side, he was safe. Anytime he was away was another chance for him to be gone forever.

Keep reading

I miss her [Part 1/...]

Originally posted by ohh-bloodyhell

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Words: 719
Warning: none

Summary: Bucky and [Y/N] found themselves in the 21st century, the only problem - [Y/N] doesn’t know that Bucky is still alive and that he tries to find a way to get back into her life.


It’s been a year since they got [Y/N] out of her frozen state.

Steve had found a file about the Soldier project that Howard Stark had continued after the events of WW2. It shocked him when he found out that [Y/N] was been frozen in the 40s and they were no files that she has been found in the last seventy years. Together with Sam, he went on search to look for her and found her in one of the old labours that were locked since 1949.

Now, after the doctors and even Bruce helped her to get full health back, she was living with the other Avengers in the great new Headquarters in the north of New York. First it was hard for her to get into the new life after years of being frozen but after a few months of learning about the new technology and fighting again she became the old [Y/N] Steve has known since they first met each other back in the days.

Steve never told her about Bucky and the Winter Soldier. It was an order from Nick Fury. He know it would be the best if she didn’t know about the events that happened in Washington D.C.


The exhibition was full of kids as always. Most of them came with their class to learn something about Steven Grant Roger aka Captain America, the hero of the nation.

It was cute to see how these kids run around and played Captain America with a plastic shield in their hand or they tried to reach the height of Steve when he was the small kid from Brooklyn.

[Y/N] pulled the hood of her jacket further in her face when she walked through the exhibition because she didn’t want to drew attention towards her.

As one of the famous Avengers she was easily spotted and that was one of the reasons why she usually wore sunglasses and caps when she decided to go for a walk or visit the Smithsonian. [Y/N] never liked the attention of the press so she stayed in the shadows. But of course she took a picture with a fan if he or she would spot her even if [Y/N] wore the sunglasses.

She liked to visit the museum but not because of all the old exhibitions. The only reason for her to come here was to see the face of the man she lost many years ago.

The huge glass wall in front of her showed Bucky Barnes. Her Bucky. The man who promised her that he would finish this last mission and would be back to the camp within two days. But he never returned.

[Y/N] watched the old video of Steve and Bucky and how they were laughing at something that Steve had said. It was taken shortly after Steve had rescued him and the other men from the 107th. How she missed his laugh. Sighing, she went to the little theatre and listened to Peggy who talked about Steve and her life after the war. Sometimes she went with Steve to visit her in the hospital where she lived.

The only thing the assassin didn’t notice was the man that followed her all the way to the Smithsonian. He wore old worn-out clothes and a cap on his head that was covering most of his face. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his jacket as he watched [Y/N] from afar.

There weren’t much things that Bucky remembered but one of the first things that came to his mind when he was away from Hydra for a while was [Y/N] face, smiling at him and telling him how much she loved him and his cheesy attempts to get a kiss.

Bucky had watched her a few times since that. When she was on a run or was outside, shopping with Wanda. But he was afraid to make the first step. Maybe [Y/N] moved on and got herself a new boyfriend, someone who wasn’t broken like him.

She would never want a broken man like me he thought to himself and left.

Just in that moment [Y/N] felt a tickling feeling in her neck, a feeling she always got when she was being watched. But as she turned around, no one was there.

Part 2

Let’s see if you like this and maybe I continue and make this little one-shot into my first serie. Any thoughts?

So Much More (Smut)


Request: hey, this a stretch but i love your stories!!! Could you write something where you and shawn are FWB but one night you guys have sex but it turns more emotional and fluffy? idk 😭

Word count: 3,118

So Much More (Smut)  

“Shawn Mendes with hit song Treat You Better” James Corden said, after Shawn had finished singing.

The camera pointed at Shawn once again and he smiled widely while hearing the audience applause him. I still found it rather strange watching Shawn on TV, like somehow, I still didn’t get just how famous he’d become. He was still that little Pickering boy to me and to be honest, he would probably always be.

Keep reading

BTS reaction to you sliding yourself away from them.

‘Hey babe <3 I got a reaction request and a MTL request … you can take your time with these :) 1)BTS reacting to you sliding yourself away from them when yall are doing the nasty because you feel weird/ pain 2)who among BTS is most to least likely pinch their girl’s titty to get her attention XD .. love your blog <3′


Sorry something fluffy inside me came out when i write some of their reactions



You both were trying a new position that was not comfortable at all but it was pleasant for him, you start moaning which for him would mean that it’s also pleasant for you, feeling himself he start going faster and deeper when he start cumming inside you, when he sees you running to the bathroom crying he will go telling you to open the door.

‘Please open the door, what’s the matter?’

You will open the door with tears on your face.

‘That hurt’ you say hugging him.

‘I’m sorry you seem to enjoy it that’s why I went faster, please let me know if something is not good for you, I was worried’

Originally posted by ciutae


‘Babe why are you crying? It’s something wrong? Did someone hurt you?’ he will say hugging you from behind.

When you told him he will feel relieve and little bit worry too.

‘I was scared you should have tell me that you were in pain’

Originally posted by cutae-hyungie


He was always very gentle with you in every move on bed cuz you like when he was being sensual with you, when you told him that you wanted him to be rougher with you he was confused and a little concerned.

‘Please use this toy on me’

‘I’m not sure, are you sure?’

You nod at him watching the electric dildo going inside you while he was doing love marks on your chest when he sees your face and the fact that he was going rougher was making him feel a little bit confused on your looks.

He take out the toy and gets inside you making you moan at how deep he was now, moving as fast as the toy you start pushing him a little sitting on the corner of the bed, taking his hand out of your shoulder.

‘I told you it was a bad idea’ he says with a sad face sitting on his knees behind you ‘I’m sorry I won’t go rough on you again’

Originally posted by jikookshandshake


‘It’s going to hurt baby are you still sure?’

‘Yeah I want to try it, that’s why I put the plug first so it can be wider and i can get used to it…’

He will remove the anal plug putting some lubricant on his cock setting himself slowly inside you making you moan really loud.

‘Do you want me to keep going?’ he’ll say to you still, you nod at his question when you feel him moving.

Something was feeling strange inside you so you decide to push him laying down on bed facing him.

‘Why do you have the scared face on you? I was hurting you right? I told you!’

‘It wasn’t hurting but it wasn’t pleasant at all, it felt weird, I didn’t like it’

He kiss your forehead smiling

‘Please let me know when you don’t like something, please’

Originally posted by trash-for-bangtan


‘(Y/N)? what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?’ you nod at his question covering your face next to him in fetal position.

‘Oh god so sorry that wasn’t my intention’ covers you with the blanket.

‘Please forgive me’ he’ll say hugging you

Originally posted by junghoseok


‘Where are you going?’

‘Home I need to go’

‘What are you talking about?’

He runs towards you putting his underwear grabbing you from your wrist

‘Why? It’s something I say?

‘No, it’s just…’


‘It just felt weird I don’t know what I was feeling’

‘You should have tell me that first I could have stop or do something else’

Originally posted by loveblushes


Say nothing and goes after you knocking the bathroom door

‘(Y/N)! What’s wrong? Why did you leave me like that?’


‘Are you crying?’

‘No… Yes’

‘I’m going in, careful’

When he sees you sitting on the toilet goes to you sit on his knees and kiss your hands

‘What’s the problem?’

You tell him crying and embarrassed covering your face.

‘It’s okay, there’s no problem with feeling like that, you really scared me I was feeling really bad’ Tells you grabbing your hands to clean your tears, makes you a bubble bath so you two can shower together.

Originally posted by softlytaejin



Seeing as he’s anime nerd himself he’d be totally be fine with it. you two would probably have long discussions about the plot and what you think is most likely to happen. Dates would most likely include binge watching anime series and LOtS OF FOoOoD!(and puns)

Originally posted by bwiseoks


suga wouldn’t really care whether you liked anime or not but I feel he a lowkey fan so he definitely wouldn’t be like ‘ oH nO plES geT mE ouT oF hERe’. He totally wouldn’t pass up the chance to use your pAsSiOn for aNimE as excuse for a cosy date.

Originally posted by minsecretsoul


jhope would probably imitate anime characters on daily basis for you. i totally see him wanting to playing anime charades with you. watching anime with jhope would always be lively even if the anime you were watching was dull. Jhope is the type to scream and not be able to sit still when an episode gets intense but hey at least you have someone who’ll cry w/ you when it hits you in the feels. He’d probably be good predicting what happens, to the point where you get slightly frustrated.

“ Stop sPoiLiNG it fOR mE”         

“it’s not SpOiLinG if i haven’t WatChEd it”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin


Namjoon, like the others wouldn’t mind. He would totally watch anime with you. Namjoon would probably gravitate towards more supernatural/thriller animes. Puzzling storylines and complicated characters would be right up his street!

Originally posted by rapfluff


Like all the members. HE. WOULDN’T.MIND. He would just simply enjoy watching you watch anime

Originally posted by okayoongz


ANIME NERD ALERT¡  He would totally love the fact that both of you share the same passion for anime. Seeing as he has said he likes to end his day with an episode or two, therefore this bunny would be v happy (probs. would be more episodes but their schedule is so tightT.T).

Originally posted by jeonthegreat


Anime marathons E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y and not to mention a whole load of character impersonations (Probs. has sailor moon cosplay outfits overfilling his closet)… This kiddo loves anime and would be over the moon to know you do too. 

Originally posted by spicydim


Admin noodlecat

Dating Yoongi

Dating Yoongi would include:

• When he realized he liked you in more than a friendly way he freaked out
• He would start observing you
• Trying to find something (anything) that could tell him that you liked him back
• He would stay nights awake figuring out how to tell you
• In the process he’ll start treating you differently
• Hell do it smoohtly tho
• He would casually bring you coffee
• He would text you everyday good morning and goodnight
• He would sit next to you everytime you and the boys had dinner together
• He would even buy you chocolates
• And you noticed
• When he finally reaunited enough courage to confess he almost fainted when you answered kissing him
• “I thought youd never ask, Min Yoongi”
• Soft smiles while eating dinner
• He would just look at you and smile
• He can’t help it
• You have that effect on him
• And damn you are his girlfriend now
• SHIT. You are his girlfriend
• “Yoongi are you okay?”
• “Huh? Oh yeah, sorry I was just… uh, thinking
• The boys would cringe but deep inside they are proud their hyung found someone
• You play with his fingers when you two watch TV together and he finds himself smiling a lot
• Since you go to his dorm regularly, he feels weird when you are not there
•  Like something’s missing
• “Hello?”
• “Hi, Y/n”
• “Hi, Yoongi”
• “Are you coming today?”
• “I have a lot of homework to get done tonight. I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ll make it”
• “Oh, okay”
• Ten minutes later he’s at your door with takeout
• “You are always coming to see me, so I thought that maybe it’s my turn now?”
• “Get inside, you dork”
• He’ll wait patiently for you to finish your homework so you two can eat dinner together
• “I want college to be over already”
• “It will be over in less than what you expect”
• “Yeah, I kind of have that feeling now”
• What do you mean?”
• “Well I have someone by my side now”
• “…”
• “No way. You are blushing”
• “'I’m not”
• “Yes, you are”
• “No. I am not”
• “Awww you are so cute when you blush”
• You give him a kiss on the cheek and he can’t help but smile and blush even more.
• So you give him another kiss on the cheek
• He’s smiling even wider now
• You cover his face with kisses and now he’s a freaking tomato and a ball of giggles
• You just discovered his weakness
• Cheek kisses
• He most likely won’t admit it but he loves it.
• You beg him to play the piano for you
• “No”
• “But baaaaaaabe”
• “Nope”
• He tries to act cool, but actually he doesn’t want to do it because he gets really nervous when you are around
• He’s afraid he’ll fuck up
• He doesn’t want to look like a fool in front of you
• But you keep begging him
• “Please Yoongi”
• *kiss on the cheek*
• “Do it for me?”
•*kiss on the cheek*
• “Please?”
• *kiss on the cheek*
• “For me?”
• *kiss on the cheek*
• “Oh fuck it. I’ll do it for you”
• One particular day you had a lot of homework he was sitting on your couch scrolling through his phone
• When you are done you go to see him
• “Yoongi?”
• But he’s sound asleep
• You cover him up with blankets
• You debate between going to your room or just sleep with him on the couch
• You don’t want to leave him there but you don’t want to wake him up either so you grab a pillow and lay next to him wich turns into you laying literally on top of him because there’s no much space in that couch
•  He hugs you in his sleep
• When he wakes up he doesn’t know what to do
• His beautiful (asleep) girlfriend is laying on top of him on the couch
What the heck happened
• He waits until you wake up
• Pretending he’s asleep to hear you reaction
• You just give him a kiss on the forehead
• And he can’t help but smile instantly
• “Were you awake?”
• “No?”
• You give him a suspicious look
• “Alright then”
• “Wait give me a kiss”
• Loves it when you kiss his head
• Always buying coffee every time you two walk past a café 
• Tries to hide the fact that he memorized your order 
• Sice the day you slept on the couch, napping is now a habit
• Loves to watch you sleep
• When he doesn’t want to wake up, you cover his face with kisses as always
• Sometimes he fakes he’s asleep so you give him kisses
• Because that’s his favourite way to wake up
• Random 3am texts 
• “I miss you”
• “Yoongi, it’s 3am go to sleep”
• Never uses emojis 
• 110% sure he will say I love you first
•  When you two get hype boy oh boy when you two get hype
• Literally theres a song one of you like and instantly you both are dancing
• And you guys sing too
• The boys think you both are insane
• Like that day you were both in your respective cellphones when “View” by SHINee came through the radio
• Since it’s your favourite song at the moment
• You two got HYPED
• Tries to cook ramen for you in your anniversary 
• Always making sure you sleep well
• But he still sents you texts at 3am
• He would never say it out loud but he loves it when you play with his hair while kissing 
• He writes you poetry
• But he will never let you read it
• Almost screamed when you gave him your apartment key 
• “'Im tired of opening the door for you. You can totally do it yourself”
• Going home to find him on your couch watching Netflix 
• Buys you groceries without telling you
• Always trying to convince you to take a nap 
• “I have to cook and I need to finish my assignment”
• “Please nap”
• Follows you around the house repeating “nap”
• Sits next to you while you’re doing your assignment 
• *stares at you because he knows it will distract you*
• “Yoongi stop”
• *doesn’t says anything* 
• “Yoongi”
• *starts playing with your hair*
• “Min Yoongi”
• *gently sits in your lap*
• “Nap?”
• Napping a lot during the day
• Staying up during the night 
• Talking a lot or not talking at all
• If you guys feel like talking the room will be filled with whispers and kisses
• If you dont feel like it then
• Comfortable silence 
•  “Yoongi I really like your smile”
•  “Why do you say such a thing when we are about to sleep?”
• Watches you from afar when you play around with his hyungs 
• Eventually gets sick of it 
• Probably makes you sit on his lap in front of everyone and acts as if nothing is happening 
• Or he casually sits in your lap
•  “Hyung is really smiley when he’s around y/n”
•  *glares at taehyung*
• “Y/n there’s someone you need to meet so this relationship can grow”
•  You meet Holly the next day
• Lets you and nobody else touch his phone 
• Takes secret pictures of you all the time without you noticing it
• y/n eating cereal
• y/n sleeping
• y/n studying 
• y/n drinking coffee 
• y/n eating Oreos
• y/n dancing
• y/n watching TV
• Literally takes pictures of you all the time
• Watches your pictures all the time when he is on tour 
• Loves waking up to your texts 
• Apologizes first when you guys fight 
• Plays the piano for you so you can forgive him faster 
• Sings to you in your birthday 
• “I wrote this song thinking about you”
• Whispers that he loves you when you start crying 
• “Shit Yoongi, I love you”
• Finds you extra sexy when you swear
•  *you watching old pictures of him*
•  “Woah I really like you with green hair”
• He asks if he can dye his hair green again
•  *goes to your home with his hair green*
•  “Woah you looked really hot with black hair”
•  *glares at you*
•  Always giving you plushies he wins at those stupid plushie machine games
•  Your room is full of plushies
•  Sometimes when you two are just laying in bed doing nothing he feels the need to open his heart to you
•  “Y/n I really do have deep feelings for you”
•  “I feel the same Yoongi”
•  “Y/n I wrote you poetry”
•  *You suddenly sit*
•  “Can I read it?”
•  “No”
•  “Please? For me?”
•  “Shit”

It’s My Job- Lin x Reader

I’m not putting any warnings, because if period talk bothers you, you need to be educated on the female body. 


You were laying on the bed cramping when the bedroom door opened. Your husband of six years rushed into the room, barely looking up until he saw you still in bed.

“Morning, (Y/N). You feeling okay?” His hair fell against his shoulders, slightly wavy from where his hair band had been the night before. Stubble adorned his cheeks, and the ever-present bags under his eyes were a light purple. He stripped off the t-shirt he wore to bed and tossed it in the hamper before crawling over the bed to you.

Keep reading

today i was reflecting in the shower.. where i normally do all of my deeper thinking.. and i couldn’t stop thinking about 2016. i know.. we’re in a new year.. time to let it go.. but i don’t think i properly cleansed myself or made peace with how my year went. and because a lot of what happened to me throughout the year continuously comes to mind.. i knew it was time to sit down and write out my feelings. what has made me the writer or “poet” that i am today.. is i’ve spilled my heart out on paper, time and time again, but lately i’ve been extremely distant. i’m not sure whether it’s because i feel a burden to always be positive and uplifting or because i find myself more afraid than ever. last year i cried. and cried. and cried. more than i’ve ever cried in my 22 years of life. i even made a habit out of watching really sad and emotional movies just so i could find an excuse to. also.. i’ve smoked more than ever before. longing to both - feel.. and be numb. i’d smoke before writing so i could pull certain stories out of me. then i’d smoke after, to forget them. often times.. i just got high enough to make myself fall asleep so i wouldn’t have to deal with anything. in the midst of one of my episodes.. i realized i suffer, and have always suffered, from feeling like nobody really understands me. i’ve always felt like i was someone who was constantly mistaken for an entirely different person. i always feel like i don’t “fit”. i don’t fit around friends.. i don’t fit around family.. i don’t make sense at social gatherings.. i don’t feel at home in my own home. i think a lot of these feelings have come up, from time to time, because i’ve never really known my true identity. all i’ve ever known myself to be is someone that everyone clings to. and not in a “she’s the life of the party” kind of way, but more so, “she’s the person to get advice from” way. and although.. this may sound selfish, sometimes i wish i had someone like me. i wish i had someone who was willing to help solve my problems before solving their own. as i’m typing, i’m starting to cry again. and i’m crying because i don’t know when exactly this will end. or if this discomfort is how i’m meant to live life. maybe this is just the life of an empathic. maybe when i started asking god to “use” me, i signed up for this. the truth is, 2016 should have been the best year of my life. i released a book that hit the best sellers list, i bought my dog that brings an unlimited source of awe to my life, i signed a major publishing deal, i moved out of my parents house and into a new home, i lost friends that never clapped for me, and gained friends who’ve been there for me in every way since, i built this whole “brand” into something much bigger than i ever expected myself to, i found out i was cancer free, i promise the list could continue on. but depression got in the way. of everything. i never once celebrated myself. i never once intervened, and took control. i never even thought to. i felt like whatever i was going through.. i was supposed to. and still.. i’m not sure the reasoning.. i just kept living with a kind of sadness i have yet to find a name for. instead of focusing on all of the goodness that god was placing in my life, i had tunnel vision on everything that i felt was going wrong. i couldn’t see life in a positive light no matter how good things may have got. my parents split up. i was forced to move out. i lost my home base. i went, and still go, months without speaking to either one. my boyfriend was dealing with an ex who continuously threatened to take her life at the account of us being together. all i wanted to do was help her. but couldn’t. i had a new life to take care of, when i could barely take care of my own self. i lost all my friends. literally, every single one. i never ever could leave the house because of how bad my social anxiety was getting. i found out i had a fractured jaw because of the size of a tumor that was holding it in place. i found out i had a fucking tumor that could have been cancerous. i had reconstructive jaw surgery that ruined the nerve and feeling in my mouth. i could not eat or sleep or talk straight for months. i’m still dealing with the pain. i was consistently working and doing interviews right after my surgery. i was and am still extremely exhausted from this. i never properly allowed myself to rest or heal. i started working with a team that could not fully ever understand me which only added to my frustration, loneliness, and sadness. and again, THIS LIST could go on. but more than anything. i was bullied. as my brand kept getting bigger, i was bullied more. and more. and i couldn’t understand how my work, trying to help and heal people, could bring in such negative responses. i couldn’t understand why there were people who were so eager to tear me apart, they would start to attack my image. everyday people attack the way i look and sound. and this kind of bullying brought back a lot of old feelings that i never dealt with as a kid. growing up i was constantly brought down and picked on because of the way i look. i was never skinny enough. or pretty enough. or i was too hairy. or my teeth were too crooked. or my hair was too nappy. or i was too dark. or i was too “black”. or i wasn’t “black enough”. now, i’m receiving - i’m too stupid or i’m too fake. my writing isn’t good enough. my writing is cliche. i look like a monkey. and so on. and so forth. and as i’m typing these things.. i find myself giggling a bit, wondering why i even allow these things to bother me. but truthfully, all negativity from outside sources bothers me. no matter what form it comes in. i always question, “what have i done to deserve this?” and although i often ignore these nasty comments, i’ve realized i harbor the feelings i receive when i see these comments. embarrassment. frustration. confusion. hurt. disappointment. betrayal. i let these statements affect me to the point where i’m starting to silence my voice. i’m starting to be more afraid to speak up for myself. the thought of confrontation makes me nervous. the thought of even receiving any awful comments makes my stomach flip. so i won’t say anything at all. i’ll keep everything to myself if it’ll keep the mean people and their nasty opinions away. but i’m trying to break out of this. i really am. i’m trying to be more understanding of the way people work. i know.. that the way we treat people is a reflection of the way we treat or view ourselves. meaning.. those who are willing to go out of their way to attack a person for absolutely no reason, ultimately feel that they need to. either because, they don’t have enough love for themselves, to be consumed within themselves and their own positivity, or, simply, they hate themselves just as much as they hate me. and not personally, but mainly, their views of life are formed in a negative and hateful way.. more often than not. idk.. maybe i’m getting too ahead of myself. or maybe i make sense and i’m afraid no one will understand it. lol. but anyway. idk. i’m just glad i got to get these things off my chest because i feel like my readers.. and supporters.. or those who just fuck with me, for whichever reason.. are always looking forward to hearing from me. and i’m trying to, again, be more accepting of the fact that not everyone is going to always like my shit. my writing. my poetry. my points of view. my ideas. and that’s okay. that doesn’t make me any less of an artist or woman or idealist.. and that doesn’t make whomever else any less than either. i’m thankful. for these moments of clarity because they really ground me and put me back in my place. i get to reflect on how i’ve sabotaged my own life.. and i pray that god help me heal from it. the reality of this all is.. i’m my own worse enemy. and i have been.. for most of my life. and i know this because i would have never ever allowed myself to go through all the hardships that i did. i would have never allowed myself to not only deal with half the people i’ve dealt with - but also.. i wouldn’t have allowed myself to be as affected by negativity as i was. all i was doing, and all i’ve been doing, is place energy in places and spaces that my energy was never meant to be. 2016 was the ending. i firmly believe this because there is always a storm before a sunny day. there were times last year when i thought i was out of touch with myself and i couldn’t hear god as clearly as i’m used to.. but really.. s/he was with me all along. guiding me to this place i’m in now. this place of - understanding, acceptance, and gratitude. i’m finally understanding that sometimes we go through shit. sometimes a lot of shit. but what we go through doesn’t define us. it shapes us into the people that we’re ultimately meant to be. stronger. wiser. and happier.. if anything. i’m finally accepting that some things, many things, are out of our control. but we have much more control than we think. the way we react to life will result in our karma. we can choose how to react and ultimately this will help affect all of our situations moving forward. i’m also learning to accept people as they are. everyone will do as they please. and not everyone will be considerate of mine, or anyone else’s, feelings. in knowing this, i have to constantly remind myself to not take anything personal. the longer i feed into other peoples negativity, the longer i’ll be miserable. misery is the result of not fully understanding or not fully having control over certain situations. but the more intuitive we are.. the easier it will be to keep away from misery. and finally.. i’m grateful for the one friend i had all along.. whom i never give enough credit to. my best friend and boyfriend. every single tear that came strolling down my cheek.. he was always here to help wipe and then uplift me. the more silence i become the more he encourages me to speak. even if he, himself, doesn’t fully understand. i’m grateful to god for showing up in all forms. people. places. numbers. symbols. etc. i cannot be anymore thankful for my relationship with god. for not only helping me get through one of the best/worst years of my life.. but also.. for giving me the strength to open up about it. knowing.. that everyone’s perception of me is that i’ve “got it all together.”
—  Reyna Biddy
best friend// theo raeken

request : Theo fluff where you become his best friend when he moves in and he loves you and one night you’re walking together to your house or smtg and he asks you “what would you do if your best friend was in love with you” and lot and lots of fluff? Thx ❤

It was nearing three in the morning, yet the seventeen year old known as Theo Raeken was not sound asleep in his bed, as most seventeen year olds with school in less than four hours should have been. Instead, he was making his way across the street, more awake than he had been in a long while. Tonight was the night, he could feel it in his bones, in his blood, in his heart. He had been mentally preparing himself for this moment since the day he had moved into that house directly across from your own.

  This was his chance to tell you that he was hopelessly, desperately, madly in love with you, his best friend of almost a year now, and the one person to ever truly take the time to get to know and understand the inner-workings of his complex mind. He had a feeling that if he didn’t spill his heart out to you on the pavement outside your house tonight, he might never build up the courage again. And so, there he was, hands shoved inside his back pockets as he stared up at where your bedroom window was.

  He remove his hand from his pocket and took out his phone, pressing your contact name and putting it to his ear. You answered surprisingly fast, your groggy voice bringing a warm smile to Theo’s face. “Mhm, hello?”

  “Can you come outside?” said Theo, not bothering to give a greeting. You’d know it was him. He heard you groan, but the sound of your feet hitting the floor and the zipping of a sweatshirt confirmed that you were coming to meet him without protest.

   “You are lucky you’re my best friend,” you grumbled at him when you walked outside, pulling him in for a hug nonetheless.

   “And that I’m so incredibly attractive, right?” A smirk appeared at the corner of his lips. Even though he was just teasing you, there was another part of him that wanted to hear you say that he was, just so he could tell you that you were beautiful without it being completely out of the blue. But you gave him a tiny roll of the eyes instead, taking his hand and pulling him down the block.

   “What’s so urgent that you called me out of bed in the middle of the night?” You questioned him, lightly bumping your hip into his. His hand was still in yours, and you weren’t going to let go until he did. “Seriously, Raeken, I was in the middle of a wonderful dream.”

   Theo scoffed playfully. “You’re saying a dream is more important than me? I’m hurt.” Dramatically, he clutched his heart without his other hand, carefully making the decision to not let go of your own.

  You laughed. “Nothing is more important than you, Theo.” Those words washed over him, bathing him in their light. They were the words that sparked the fire in his heart that night, before you ignited it all together. There was a soft, pensive silence following such, in which you wondered whether or not you had been too forward. Your feelings weren’t ones you wanted to force on him, for the fear of him rejecting you was a real, almost terrifying one. Still, you waited.

  Then, Theo spoke. “I have a question.” He dropped your hand suddenly, clasping both of his together in front of him. He was practically holding his breath.

  “You know you can ask me anything,” you reassured him, just a tiny bit hurt that he had let go. When he bit his lip anxiously, you grabbed his shoulder. “Theo, seriously, we’re best friends. There isn’t a thing that you can’t ask me, or tell me. I promise.”

  Finally, he released his breath, and, staring you in the face without fear in his voice- though he was so, so nervous- said, “What would you do if your best friend was in love with you?” And it was as if the night went silent, the wind stopped rustling the leaves on the trees and the noises of the nocturnal creatures came to a halt. Even your breathing stopped short for just a second, maybe even your heart.

   Stupidly, you replied, “Well, that’d be a bit awkward for Lydia and I, seeing as I don’t really go that way…” You weren’t sure why you said it, but Theo laughed, shaking his head at you in that you’re an idiot but I really adore you sort of way. You could tell, you could see it in his eyes as if you were watching him for the first time, though the lighting of the street was dim and unreliable.

  “Oh, man,” he sighed affectionately. “You’re ridiculous. You’re lucky… you’re lucky that I… that I love you,” he finished. Theo stepped forward, daring you to step back, but you didn’t. You remained where you were, even when he was closer than he had ever been to your lips before, even when his mouth was dipping toward your own and it was too late to stop it. And he was kissing you.

  Until you pulled back, leaving him hanging there with pouted lips, a warm face, confusion in his forest eyes. “Theo, I-I can’t-”  

   “Give me one reason why you can’t,” he murmured, drawing you back to him by placing a finger under your chin and making you look into his eyes the same way he was always looking into yours. “Because you want to. You feel the same way. I can sense it. So tell me why you can’t, and I’ll let you go.”

   “Because, Theo!” You pulled your hand out of his again, not remembering when he had grabbed it back. You covered your face and plopped down on the sidewalk, trying to gather your thoughts. You knew he was sitting down next to you when you felt his knee bumping against yours. “Because I have watched you go through girls like someone goes through gum in high school, consistently. I have watched these girls want you, watched you want them for barely a week, and I can’t be one of them. I’m not someone you hook up with, okay? So, you need to be really sure that it’s love on your end. I know it is on mine, I just can’t risk my heart, Theo. I won’t.”

  He touched your face gently, your cheek soft. You closed your eyes and leaned slightly against his fingertips as he spoke. “I would never break your heart. I would rather break my own ten times over before breaking yours. Look at me, won’t you?” So, you did. His fingers trailed down your face before resting over your chest. He pressed them against the place where he could feel your heart beating. “I want that. I want your heart. You already have mine, you’ve had it since the day I first met you. There is nothing in this world that I want more than yours, and I want you to trust me with it, because I’ll guard it with my life. I want all of it with you, I want everything. The whole relationship deal. You’re the person I see by my side when my dreams come true, the only person I want. Trust me with this, Y/N. Just trust me.”

   “You totally just ripped off Lucas Scott with that little dream thing,” you told him, but the way you were smiling and the way your eyes were watering just a little bit told him that he had said the perfect thing. “And guess what?”

  “What?” He bumped his nose against yours, his smile undeniable, just like he was. And it was the way his eyes were crinkling at the corners as he gazed at you as if you were the most wonderful thing he had ever seen in his life that made your next words so easy for you to say, after such a long time of waiting to say them. 

   “I really, really love you for it.” It was your lips on his this time, a carefully considered kiss that was not the only thing you gave him that night. You gave your best friend your heart to take care of, and it was all he had ever desired.

A touch of Gladnis

Ignis doesn’t think of himself as someone easy to love. He knows that it is hard to love someone who is already giving everything they have to another, and he knows that he should resent Noctis for that.

He never has. The Prince, for all of his sulking and temper, is kind and Ignis loves him. He watches the young man fall apart without a shoulder for comfort, forget to clean his room because he can barely get himself out of bed, forget to eat because he’s so busy watching his father’s body fail him. Ignis decides that he doesn’t need someone to love him, not when the Prince smiles at him with that barely there raise of his lips, not when he’s the only barrier Noctis has.

When Noctis meets Prompto, Ignis finds himself lost in the drift. Prompto pulls real smiles from the Prince and Ignis finds himself cooking too large portions on nights that Noctis stays with his friend.

He’s surprised then, when Gladiolus starts showing up at meal times. The big man has a family there in the citadel, he has friends among the Kingsglaive and Regis’ guard, yet he always chooses to eat with Ignis. It’s nice…not to be alone as much.

It’s only much later, when Gladio has him cornered next to the door and Ignis feels his hands shake as he carefully reaches to place a hand on the tall mans arm, that he realizes, he wants to live for more than just Noctis. He wants to feel something real, with someone who might be the man in front of him.

He clears his throat under Gladio’s questioning gaze, aware how much space the other takes up.

“It’s…it’s not going to be easy, being with me,”

He is relieved to watch the way Gladio smiles at him, “I always liked a challenge. It’s not like I’m not going to spend the rest of my life half married to Noctis too, you know.”

Ignis supposes that in all of his thoughts about a romance of his own, he never considered finding someone else who’s life is not their own.

“I see….”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Gladiolus presses their lips together and Ignis is very thankful that Noctis spends so much time at Prompto’s. As it is, Ignis is going to be very behind in the morning.