i also wanted to make sure you got the links to the full images

The part of the deep web that we aren’t supposed to see 

Story by Mr_Outlaw_

I’ll assume you all know about the deep web. Well, what you’ve heard is true, it’s not a great place. While some people are there to score legal weed or firearms, or even out of sheer curiosity, others… well they’re obviously not up to anything good. But I’m not here to talk about those sickos. I’m here to talk about what lies beyond that point. The more cryptic and unexplainable part of the internet. The part that nobody’s really supposed to see.

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Hey everyone, I’m opening up commissions again!

I know the prices are higher than last time. Well that’s cause there ain’t no rest for the wicked, money don’t grow on trees. I got bills to pay, mouths to feed, there ain’t nothing in the world for free!

Check out my commission page for slot availability and other commission-relevant information. The commission slot list is at the bottom of the page. Commissions I’ve drawn for other people can be seen here. You can contact me to reserve a commission slot either through a note on dA, an ask or fanmail on tumblr, or through my email listed on the commission info image (z1raid@yahoo.com). For actual commission details and such, please send that over to me in an email. I will regularly send you updates about the commission through email, too.

Prices and more commission info under cut

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I Trust You - Bucky x Reader

Disclaimer: GIF isn’t mine, but Tumblr wasn’t working properly so i had to get it off google. All rights go to the creator.

A/N: This wasn’t a request, but an idea I’ve been playing around with in my head. It’s also my first piece of fanfiction in years so I hope it’s decent. Basically, the reader finds Bucky while the Avengers are fighting Ultron in Sokovia.

Word count: 2879

Warnings: one or two swear words.

The Tower was empty and quiet, which was unsurprising as the Avengers had gone off to Sokovia to battle Ultron. I had even begun to miss Steve and Tony’s constant bickering, which was odd as they had only left earlier that day.

I thought I’d be happy to have the Tower to myself, but with my sprained wrist there was only so much I could do. It was safe to say that I was already bored, I had started to walk down random hallways aimlessly.

Around a year ago, when Steve found out that his old friend Bucky Barnes was still alive, he was a victim, a tool for Hydra to use. But after the big clash between Hydra and SHIELD Steve told me Bucky had disappeared. It was just as if  he had dropped off the face of the earth. I promised him I would help him look.

I remembered my promise as I walked past Steve’s room. It’ll give me something to do. I thought as I laid my hand on the cold frame of the steel door and slowly pushed it open.

Steve always kept his room neat and tidy, which marvelled me as mine was always in disarray. I was constantly scolded about this, mainly by Steve, but I was repeatedly running late so I threw items of clothing around in order to find one specific top. Strangely, no one thought this was a good excuse.

I stood in the doorway for a moment, debating whether or not to actually invade Steve’s privacy by using his computer.

Steve was not only old-fashioned, but also naïve when it came to technology. This made my life easier as now I wouldn’t have to sit behind his desk for an eternity, guessing at his password.

I would have felt more at ease if I had been in my own room, using my own computer. But Steve wanted for this private mission of his to be kept on the down-low, so his was the only computer currently tracking down James Buchanan Barnes.

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Through The Phone | pjm

prompt: “i want to stay here in your paradise.”

word count: 1.7k

pairing: jimin x reader 

genre: fluff, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

disclaimers: unedited 

description: Letting you steal the covers, playing with your hair, Park Jimin would do it all.

a/n: just a little drabble in honor of park jimin. happy birthday jimin! ♡


Feeling the sun shine on your bare arms (unfreezing them from the air conditioning you always blasted, it helped you sleep), barely covered by your soft white blanket. You turned over to lay on your shoulder, only to be met with the sleeping image of Park Jimin on your laptop screen.

11 hrs 20 min 7 sec

You looked at yourself, in the small rectangle shaped box in the top right corner of the screen, and cringed at your morning appearance. Your hair was everywhere, and your hands immediately started fidgeting with your hair, in an awkward attempt to smooth down your hair.

“You look beautiful like that.”
You looked at Jimin, only to find him staring back at you.

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anonymous asked:

Hi first off can I just say that I love love love your headcanons?? Bc i do!! Any who I was wondering if you could do sfw + nsfw relationship headcanons for 3rd gym + Iwaizumi x a kinda big girl? Like not huge just chubby and kinda tall? Idk. I'd love it :)

It may have taken me awhile to write these, but I really enjoyed doing them! Because I freaking love headcanons! So thank you, Anon, for enjoying with them and giving me more to do!


SFW

Bokuto Koutarou

  • He’d feel so secure standing next to her, because, like really, Bo’s a big guy, he’s usually afraid he’s gonna crush someone in the midst of delivering his affections. With her, while he still worries, he’s not quite a restricted about it.
    • Just means she’s getting the purest form of his love! The sudden hugs and gathering up in his arms, the rushed kisses to her face and neck when he becomes too infatuated with her, and those hands that always want to be touching some part of her at all times!
  • They probably both use each other as their personal pillows all the time, be it at school, out in public, or at home. Bokuto likes to lay on her tummy or her legs where she like to lie on his chest or his little tooshie, lol!

Akaashi Keiji

  • Just freaking loves gathering her in his arms from behind and laying his head on her shoulder. It’s probably his immediate comfort zone. Whenever he starts to feel stressed about school, volleyball, or something at home, he seeks her out and just curls up around her from behind.
  • Oh! In turn she probably adopted the habit from him and will often times find herself pressing her face into his back! It’s just so comforting to her even when she’s not upset.
    • Result, she’s - more times than not - the big spoon! Akaashi doesn’t mind in the slightest! He probably drags her leg over his side and spends his time idly messaging and drawing patterns into her soft thighs!

Kuroo Tetsurou

  • Freaking loves blowing raspberries wherever he can on this girl! She wore her hair up (or has short hair!) to reveal her neck: raspberry. She decided to wear a crop top while they were out shopping: raspberry. Her thighs are bare as she lays on his bed while they’re doing homework: freaking raspberries!
  • Almost always has her in his lap no matter where they are. His arms are wrapped around her middle or resting on her thighs, head against her shoulder as she rubs his scalp beneath that mop of hair. Just public cuddling, so much public cuddling.
    • Hell, he’ll even find himself in her lap sometimes, curling into her as she holds him tightly. His fingers dip into her flesh as they trail up her sides more than likely turning a cute moment into a chance for torture if she’s ticklish! (I can just imagine things getting out of hand and she accidentally smacks him! Omg! He brought it on himself!)

Tsukishima Kei

  • This kid is guaranteed always taking pictures of her and them together. Like, check his Instagram, it’s flooded with images (I will fight anyone on this!).
    • Ones where they’re side by side, cuddling, cheek kisses, maybe even just a shot of their linked hands on her thigh??? And then he’s got a TON of just her - most of which she’s probably not even aware he took - of her curled up on his bed, sleeping on his shoulder, or, oh! Those freaking adorable photos from behind with their hands together! Yup, that’s the stuff.
  • His favorite place for his hand is right on her waist. He might even prefer holding her there over holding her hand? Like, it just feels comfortable with her side pressed against him while his fingers can knead into the flesh of her waist there. Just yes.

Iwaizumi Hajime

  • Ooooh, I can picture then being the exact same height and it makes me way beyond happy! Tons of chaste and neck kisses and easy shoulder resting and prolonged eye contact that always makes Oikawa complain when he’s around them. (“I am here too, ya know?!!?!”)
  • Dude, this kid is all about flesh and how much of it he can get into his hands at one time (ps. It’s never enough!) and he just lives for his chubby girlfriend! So, she better tell him how comfortable she is with drawing attention to it, cause he’s always going to be helping himself otherwise!
    • Like, he’s a man of simple needs, really. Let the little hedgehog have his fill every now and then of that plush flesh! He’ll reward her, of course, he’s not a savage!

NSFW

Bokuto Koutarou

  • Okay, legit, this precious one gets so turned on by those plush legs around him. Like, pull him in with them and he’ll be putty in her hands without a doubt - plus he’ll be sporting a hardon before she even knows it!
    • Whether they’re around his head or waist, it doesn’t matter, boy will go to town on those thighs! Biting and kissing the flesh until he leaves mark and his hands are constantly gripping them throughout the entirety of the act.
  • Omg, ride him. She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and he wants to see her in at her beauty. If she gets on top and allows from his hands to grab freely at her hips, butt, and thighs, this boy will be in heaven (she’ll no doubt be able to make him scream as well!).

Akaashi Keiji

  • Remember how I said Akaashi’s comfort zone is cuddling from behind, it’s no different during the hot and heavy times either! Boy LOVES taking her from behind, his head pressed between her shoulder blades and his hands gripping at her hips.
    • Oooooh, reverse cowgirl is one he likes a lot too! Like, he gets to watch her ride him while his hands can freely grab at her bottom. And the way her back arches or her head falls back, omg, she’ll have him begging for more.
  • While he’s not one for leaving hi kids in places where everyone can see them, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Her breasts and hips are littered with evidence of his teeth. During summer he’ll distract his mouth from leaving marks to eating her out, hands happy to be full of her thighs.

Kuroo Tetsurou

  • Boy just freaking loves going down on his girl. And he’ll take his time getting there like the freaking tease that he is. He’ll start at her neck, working there until he found that spot before starting down her body, making sure to give attention to each and every part of her.
    • Little shit will totally bypass her heat too, choosing instead to kiss around her hip and down her leg. He won’t actually give her the attention she wants until he’s finished coming back up the opposite leg, it doesn’t matter how much she demands of him.
  • He’s good at talking right? While he’s balls deep inside her, he’s got his lips at her ear telling her just how good she feels inside and how he wants those legs around him tighter. Oh, and he spends plenty of times just moaning as well. He’s just a man, he can’t always be in control.

Tsukishima Kei

  • Shit, I just imagined this kid recording and taking pictures of their illicit activities - all of which he uses as master nation material when she’s not around. Oooooh, and he’s probably always wanting to take pictures of her naked! Like he’s got provocative ones, sure, but also casual ones of her just walking around his room or something? (I got like this Renaissance Venus image stuck in my head when I think of those pictures! So freaking pretty!)
  • Oh my geez. Some slow electronic house music is playing quietly in the back and he fucks her to the beat, never speeding up or slowly down. All the while his hands and slowly working at her flesh (almost to the beat of the music) and, gosh, it probably lasts HOURS and it’s pure, beautiful torture! (I totally don’t fantasize about this all the freaking time guys… I do all the time.)
  • Lol, this kid probably loves lap dances too, yeah? (I mean, who doesn’t?) and he’s always totally stoked when those hips come sashaying up to him where he’s seated at his computer desk. It doesn’t take long for his hands to start wondering her body, fingers pressing into the flesh and watching intently how it dips below his finger. This boy is all about details, even in the sexy times.

Iwaizumi Hajime

  • Ahhhhh! Boy just wants to grab and grope and kiss and lick every single freaking part of her! When the clothes come off his animalistic instincts turn on and he’s all primal. Shit, man, he probably growls when he goes in to bite at her flesh or as his hands press her tighter to himself.
    • Sidenote: just because Iwaizumi is very rough and eager during sex does not mean he can’t flip it off when he wants to. She’s feeling like she needs comfort and deep loving? You bet your ass he’s taking things slow and full out body worshipping her because she deserves it! Those breast, that waist, her hips, and her thighs are all getting delicate attention while she just sits back and enjoys herself.
  • Doggy style is 11/10 on his list. Actually, he probably likes it better when he’s taking her from behind but her back is flush against his chest. Not only does this allow more skin-to-skin contact, but this lets his hands have a chance to grab at whatever part of her he fancies at the time (side note: it’s all of her!).
Something Keeps bugging me about the whole Blue Sect arc.

As of Chapter 127 we’ve lost Agni, something that I think caused a lot of heartache in the community and has given rise to a lot of theories, all of which have a lot of valid points. The only thing is, I feel like I’m missing something here. Maybe I’m wrong and maybe I’m looking far too deeply into this, but it seems a bit odd, and kind of coincidental, that both times that something big has happened in regards to Ciel’s backstory (in earlier cases it’s from the readers learning about what happened to him that night) and in this case Agni may have discovered something about him that he didn’t want known.

The thing is, and again I can only stress that this is instinct and guts telling me this, that I feel like something is not right with what we’re seeing here. Much like what happened with Count Cain where there was a huge misdirection until the very end of the story where in a big reveal happened and made everyone double take. Now I don’t know if Yana is pulling that off here, but given the similarities to Count Cain, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was trying to pull something similar off here.

My reasoning for questioning all that we’ve seen and all that we know comes from some images that keep bugging the heck out of me in relation to Blavat and what he wears.

I guess I have to start back at the beginning with the whole issue of How Blavat knew who Ciel was, and work from there because all the pieces are not quiet fitting yet.

It’s been theorized that Blavat knew about Ciel through the word of various people (Undertaker, John Brown and even an unknown Shinigami have come up) but two sets of people have not been spoken of, and I do think they deserve mention. The S4, formerly P4 and Viscount Druitt. Now this might seem odd of me to point them out but we do need to look at them as a possible unintentional (in the form of the S4) and intentional (Druitt) leaker of that information to Blavat and in the case of Druitt, someone that seems to have the moxie to help work on this. But I’ll get to him in a second, let’s start with the P4/S4.

We know that the group somehow came into contact with Blavat, although no one outright explained how. Given the fact that the last time when they were in trouble Redmond contacted Druitt who had them get in contact with Stoker, this could be an easy way to believe that Blavat let them become who they were for the groups. Keep in mind that if Druitt did tell Redmond about Blavat, then it could be easy to see him finding easy pickings with the boys who were feeling low and guilty about their crime.

Now if Blavat showed the kindness to them that they needed at the time, then it’s not beyond the realm of reason to believe that any one of the boys, probably even Redmond himself, could have easily spilled the beans on Ciel and Sebastian. After all they were there when Undertaker and Sebastian fought and had a full view of that. Consequently we know for a fact that Greenhill does know about Ciel and Lizzy’s engagement due to Edward, as we’ve see in the Weston arc.

So taking that into account Blavat could have easily surmised upon Sebastian and Ceil coming in: 1. who they were based on the knowledge he had from the S4; 2. could have easily figured out that Ciel was Lizzy’s fiancé and ran with that, and 3. figured out that Sebastian wasn’t exactly human. He never outright called Sebastian a demon, only that he was a black hole, and this he probably got from hearing tales from the boys regarding events at Weston. Remember what was said, Blavat is very good at reading people, and for all Sebastian’s skills, he showed a “tell” in his reactions to what Blavat said was right. This was all he needed to get people excited and throw Sebastian out.

Now let’s say it wasn’t the boys (although I have a high guess that it was) that informed Blavat, then who else knows enough about the Watchdog to at least give us info about him to Blavat. Well, I point to Viscount Druitt. You might say, “But he’s a comic character and we haven’t seen him in a long time.” This is true, we haven’t but we have felt him in various ways.

The last time we officially saw him was in the Atlantic Arc where he was on the boat and we learned that he was part of the Phoenix organization. A group, mind you, that was created probably under the guidance of the Osiris group we’ve heard of. Both names are about beings that are rising from the dead, and what is the Blue Sect doing, keeping people from dying. This is, I think, something important that we keep forgetting about.

We know from facts that Druitt is not a man of scruples. Hell he was having a human trafficking party and was willing to cut up Ciel to sell his parts to bidders. Not only has he shown himself to be an idiot, which I think is more a ruse to keep people from figuring things out, but he’s also been shown to be mixed up with the Aurora Society and through them, Osiris. Now that might be a slight hint of something but there’s a lot more.

Going back over the chapters I noticed a pattern with Aleistor Chambers, or Viscount Druitt. Every time something weird comes up in regard to Ciel, save for the Witch arc (and I’m not 100% sure he didn’t have some influence there), the circus arc (which I have to wonder if one of the groups that Druitt was selling to may have been the same group that tried to kill Ciel), and the murder arc, he’s been involved in some form or another. Be it in a funny way (Curry Arc as a judge) or a more direct and serious way (his actions caused trouble for Ciel and Sebastian in the Atlantic arc) he has been there and influencing things in his own –odd –way.

This brings me to some facts that I noticed. Firstly we know that the Blue Sect is being supplied a good form of money. We’re assuming that it’s coming from the Lords, but what if it’s not. Given the setup of the rooms, we can see that not all of them are well off. We also know that Polaris –who has the most common room –is a butler and someone in the serving class rather than the upper class. If these four lords were really well off, wouldn’t they have better rooms?

So, assuming for the moment that the money is not coming from the Lords to fund this operation, then who would have the time or the money to set this up? Well while the Aurora society is gone, technically, the Osiris group is not, and we know very well that Druitt is alive as we’ve seen his image showing up on the Shores of the States. This, I think, actually should be looked at given that Osiris said that it wanted to see what happened and the ship was heading for the states (making me think that there are some members there and not only in England). If Druitt is still in the states –or even if he’s come back –he would still be well off enough to help with this set up since its well within his means to.

We’ve seen that he has the cash to throw lavish parties, as seen in Chapter 7 when he got hold of Ciel. Given the size of the event that’s happening, he’s probably not the only one supplying the event, but…basing on what the Queen indicated, that there are various classes attending, then it wouldn’t be hard to believe that the owners of shops donate the food. So if he’s not having to pay for the food for all those people, then it actually saves him money if he is behind the bulk of this.

We also have to consider that the music hall had to be purchased by someone, and that large amount probably wasn’t picked up by Blavat, so again someone like Druitt could easily do that. Not only that but the room that Ciel has to go in is certainly lavish in the ways that the count likes, and we have seen that he’s certainly one that likes the lavishness of life.

He’s also the only one that seems to want to be linked with Rome, and given the costumes that the boys wear it’s hardly a surprise.

 Also, if you think about it, who else would be willing to pay for such outlandish outfits? It fits right into all his weird looks.

Furthermore there’s other clues that indicate that Druitt may have a hand in this. 

Going back to the earlier chapter we see Ciel was taken into the back room in a secret wooden door that lead to a room where Ciel points out that there’s a “sweet” (“strange?”) smell, and then passes out into sleep. He wakes up later in a cage trapped by Druitt. 

Now, in Chapter 113 Ciel notes that there’s a strange smell in the air, and the last time that that happened he fell to sleep. The last person to pull that trick off on him…Druitt.

We also know that Druitt is not dead, nor gone, as we saw he was placed Christ like, on a cross. Foreshadowing into the religious iconography in the Blue Sect, perhaps? I think that he’s probably assisting in some way. We also shouldn’t forget that he’s a doctor among other things and would have a working understanding of the medical items that we’re seeing being used on the various people. If he is working with Blavat, then why? Well it could be his own ego, but I think there’s more to it. Back in Chapter 59 we saw him get serious, and he seemed very dangerous in that moment.

So why would he tell Blavat about Ciel or Sebastian. Again, he saw it all. Back when they were on the ship he was “passed out” during the fighting, but given the situation I don’t think that he didn’t miss a thing. 

Considering that he did indicate with a wink that he recognized Ciel later on “cock Robin” it’s not hard to believe that Druitt could have done his own digging and gotten info on Ciel and given it willingly to Blavat. After all Ciel did help wreck what he felt was his plans and so forth, so there is that.

Now do I think that Druitt is the mastermind behind everything? Not really, at least not yet, but he does seem to have enough skills to at least be a part of it.

The other thing that’s bugging me in a large way is the religious aspect and the way Agni died. Why target Soma of all people?

See the thing is that the Queen is right now in charge of India, the death of one of her Allies sons would not go over well with the people there. People, who, at that time, were very much starting to become less willing to have peace. So how would his death in the end benefit her? I don’t think it or Ciel’s would.

We know that she did punish him for his actions during the circus arc, but she never set up for the murder of anyone that was innocent. The guy that she had killed was directly working with her Grandson whom she’s going to be going to war with in the near future. The Blue Sect is working in direct opposition to what she wants. They’re, as Sebastian pointed out, winning over people’s hearts and thus their minds. This is something that she doesn’t want. The Queen needs her people to be on her side.

She noted that the people would be dealing with business deals, religious activity and war. If anyone can come in this means that there could be a German spy there. If there is one or someone who has sympathy to the Kaiser then that would not help her at all because, like the German diplomat that she had Gray kill, there’s a chance that it could benefit him and thus allow Germany to take control of things. This she cannot have for not only her kingdom, but her own personal life as well.

So then the question is, who’s benefiting from the Blue Sect? My mind goes to Osiris as a whole, but I don’t know enough about them. But again Druitt comes up as a possible suspect here. He would not only gain power, but given his need to have an empire for himself, it wouldn’t be surprising, given his morals that he would offer up the UK whole sale if he could be Cesare himself.

The other thing that caught my attention was the number of knives in Agni’s back and the stars on Blavat’s outfit. The whole arc has been hinting at religion as part of the theme. Religion and liberties are two very big things that hit people in the heart and the mind. Given how the Sect operates, almost like a cult, it was odd to me that while there was a feel of Catholic like hymns and such there wasn’t any Christian iconography (crosses, doves, angels, lambs) things that normally would connect to the normal catholic aspects.

However there are hints of Hinduism that revolves around this story. The set up very much runs counter to the idea of the class system, important to both Indian and British societies at that time (and still is in some cases). Yana made it clear that all walks of life are welcome at the event, something that surprises Edward as dance halls are mostly for common folk. Later via Sebastian we learn through two of the evening ladies that songs are a great way to get an idea across to the common folk. It’s also important to note that the set up for the food is laid out in a way that all can partake of it, another hint at both catholic and Hindu views of things depending on the sect.

Now one thing I have to note and this is very important here, the color blue. Blue in Hinduism is connected to bravery, manliness, determination, and the ability to deal with difficult situations, a stable mind and a depth of character. 

Lord Rama and Krishna are two very well know religious figures in Hinduism who were colored blue as an honor for their actions.

Using the color blue would then denote in regard to the blue star that this was a person of the highest cause and position in the ranks.

There’s more there too. These ranks are divided up into four groups: Brahmin (priestly), Kshatriya (defense), Vaisya (agriculture and business), and Shudra (menial labor). We’ve seen that the four lords seem to embody this. Sirius doesn’t speak up when talked to by Blavat but we know that he or she is seen as the highest member of the group. Second one to speak is Canopus, who probably represents the defense, this followed by the twin voices of Vega (and the Vaisya –or wealthy commoner –covers merchants in Agriculture and business, showing a set of twins to represent those two aspects) and then Polaris (a butler as the lower class or the labor).

If Blavat is a priest or a Brahmin to the sect then that would explain the clothing that he wears all the time. His outfit is pulling from various religious organizations, but the thing is he’s wearing an outfit that’s a lot like Agni and Soma in visual similarities.  This has me wondering why there is so much connection to the Hindu aspect of this story. Well given what just happened I would hypothesized that this whole arc is a set up for Soma going forward and using hindu symbolism could be a part of it.

One thing to note about the four casts is that they each represent some part of the body. Preists are the head bring wisdom and knowledge (something the songs that Blavat wrote seem to indicate that Sirius does), Canopus is the arms (allowing for fighting much like Lizzy), Vega (given that there’s two) could be the legs (and agriculture and business were two of the driving forces in England at the time the story takes place) and last Polaris the most common, this is technically the intestine but in this case I’m going to assume it indicates the internal organs (if you view Polaris as the butler then his actions is to make sure all the other parts run and are well fed but does so behind the scenes).

Then there’s the thing that I finally figured out why it was bugging me. The stars. Each one is eight sided and I started to wonder what that could indicate. In Hinduism there’s a star known as the Star of Lakshmi, which represents Ashtalakshmi, the eight forms, or kinds of wealth, of the goddess Lakshimi. This also represent eight elements. 

“In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says: “Earth, Water, Fire, Ether, Spirit, Intelligence, and Ego are my 8 separate energies.”

Every single star in the Blue Sect has eight, including the ones of the doors to the four lords.

The only issue that falls with the eight sided star is that there’s a ton of esoteric meanings, too many to mention here (including ones about aliens). There’s also the story related to Chinese tradition about the eight pointed star.

In Chinese tradition, the eight pointed star was a way to concisely depict the entirety of the Universe. It was believed that the Sky Emperor T'ai-Yi resided in a palace at the center of Heaven, at the top of the eight pointed star’s axis, from which he ruled the eight divisions of Heaven.

These stars are known to denote life, from birth to death.

I know this might seem rambling, but I tried. I’m just having trouble seeing all the pieces fitting. There’s also the fact that Agni and Soma are both hindi names for Sun and Moon and the seven knives in Agni’s back have a number of meanings in Hinduism including: Seven stars that are a group known as Sapta rishid, and then there’s the Seven Promises, and Seven Reincarnations, as well as the seven worlds of the universe and the 7 Chakras.

In essence by killing Agni (Sun) that means Soma (moon) has nothing to light it way right now, and Soma has to become his own light.

Apologies for the wall of text. 

Touch

Bucky x OFC

Summary:  He doesn’t talk to anyone, until her. She doesn’t touch anyone, until him.

Warnings: language (i think that’s it????? what is this??????)

Word Count: 8.3k (it’s long af i’m sorry i just get too excited)

Author’s Note: guess what!!!!! it’s my birthday!!!! and so my gift to you is this new story that i’ve been writing for a few months as a break from Savior. it shouldn’t be too long, probably under 10 parts but we’ll see how i do. this is one of my favorites and the main female character has definitely been on of the funnest to write so i hope you all enjoy :) feedback is encouraged, love you all xx


Originally posted by pxggycxrters

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mashable.com
'Outlander' finally reunited Claire and Jamie, and it feels so good
We're so excited!
By Laura Prudom

This recap contains spoilers for Outlander Season 3, episode 6, titled “A. Malcolm.” To refresh your memory of where we left off, check out our episode 5 recap.

On Oct. 22, Outlander finally gave us the reunion that we’ve been waiting five episodes for (which is a while, sure, but definitely preferable to the 20 years that Claire and Jamie had to suffer through).

“A. Malcolm” was supersized to 74 minutes to give Claire and Jamie (and us) ample opportunity to… ahem… catch up — which was just as well, considering how frequently they were interrupted over the course of the episode.

The narrative spine of episode 306 — beyond the simple anticipation of Claire and Jamie’s physical reunion — traced their tentative steps back together on an emotional level.

As Jamie pointed out with agonizing honesty, they almost know less about each other now, after 20 years of separate life experiences, than they did when they first got together. That resulted in some beautifully awkward (and kind of heartbreaking) moments as the couple relearned each other — like Jamie’s instinct to turn around out of modesty when he had to take off his trousers in front of Claire, despite the fact that she’s seen it all before.

“I think Claire, when she goes back… this is a woman who’s put her entire romantic and sexual life on hold for the best part of 20 years. Obviously that gives you I think a slight rigidity,” Caitriona Balfe tells us. “I think it’s that thing of, almost like when you go home to your family, we all sort of regress, and even though there’s that initial trepidation with Jamie, once they’re in each other’s company, all of that starts to strip away quite quickly.”

Jamie’s had plenty of aliases over the course of the show, and episode 6 introduces one more: the titular “A. Malcolm.” Sam Heughan tells us that he relished the opportunity to explore another new facet of his character in a season that has already been full of transitions.

“I love that episode because it’s like, we lose track of Jamie; he’s gone through these different permeations of different people. He’s obviously Jamie Fraser, then he’s an outlaw — the Dunbonnet — then he’s Mac Dubh, then he’s Mac to Willie. So he becomes these people and finally we find him as Alexander Malcolm, this print maker,” he says. “I loved that first scene in episode 6 where he’s going about his everyday business at the print shop. I was like, ‘Who is he now?’ And it was so fun to think about what’s been going on in his life since we last saw him. So when [Claire] reappears, it’s a blast from the past — a blast from the future. She turns his whole world upside down, which is exactly what happened in Season 1.”

Many of the moments in the print shop were lifted straight from Diana Gabaldon’s Voyager, but the producers did decide to deviate from the novel in one pivotal way — after Claire told Jamie about their daughter, Brianna, he opened up about the fact that he also has a son, Willie. That’s a revelation that comes much later in the book, but executive producer Maril Davis reasons, “when she brings up Brianna, I just think he feels like 'I want to share this and get it off my chest,” so that he’s not keeping too many secrets from her right off the bat. (That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other secrets, of course.)

Balfe points out that after 20 years apart, it’s inevitable for Claire and Jamie to have put each other up on a pedestal, but she notes that it’s hard for anyone to live up to those romantic ideals.

“There’s that initial excitement and… it’s almost like no time has ever passed. Then you have to start learning who that person is again. It’s like a complete reintroduction, and unfortunately both of them have changed,” she says. “It would be ridiculous to imagine that Jamie hasn’t lived a life, same with Claire. I think it’s hard sometimes to reconcile the person in front of you with the image in your head, but they do.”

Heughan reveals that by this point in his life Jamie has basically closed off a huge part of who he is, because he isn’t whole without Claire, and sharing a little of how he tried to shape the character over the course of the season in response to that loss.

“When he’s at Culloden and afterwards, he’s lost her, but he sees her. And definitely as the Dunbonnet, he’s this feral, barely human being… I tried to make him more animalistic,” he says. “So it’s about his awareness and his character — he’s quite an outgoing and resilient, sort of 'king of men,’ so it’s about shutting all that down. And then as Mac Dubh, he’s more separated from everyone; he’s in the shadows. So then when she does come back, it’s a reawakening of who Jamie Fraser is.”

That reawakening has its bumps in the road — including Jamie accidentally bashing Claire in the nose when they start to get hot and heavy again — but let’s be honest; that’s part of the charm of their dynamic. Real life sex is rarely as easy and perfect as it’s often portrayed in pop culture, and these characters are so resonant precisely because their relationship is so honest, even in the most fantastical circumstances.

“We wanted to have it not be the classic romance novel moment. We wanted to play with it in terms of that they’re like two teenagers again,” Balfe says. “And to do some mirroring to the wedding episode, where even though they’ve never forgotten about each other, they don’t really know each other. And so there’s definitely a process of discovery, and they’re not quite sure what to do with their bodies or their words. And I think that that lends a realism to it.”

Outlander airs Sundays at 8 p.m. on Starz.

9

I have very limited slots and there WILL be a hard cutoff this go around! However, I will be reopening commissions in early December, so not all is lost if you don’t make it in this month! 

SLOTS:

  • Sketch:
    1.
    TAKEN
    2. TAKEN
  • Inks:
    1.
    TAKEN
  • Flats:
    1.
    TAKEN
    2. TAKEN
    3. TAKEN
    4. TAKEN
  • Colored:
    1.
    TAKEN
    2. TAKEN
  • Character Sheet:
    1.
    TAKEN

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN A COMMISSION, PLEASE READ BELOW THE CUT

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Kids These Days || Aisha R.

The Marian Auditorium of Miriam CoIIege could seat one thousand fifty people, apparently, and on that day, it was a full house. Not necessarily by choice, of course. Every student there, aged twelve to probably fourteen at the oldest, had congregated into the air conditioned structure and settled into the smooth, wooden seats of the auditorium because this was a required thing, this talk on sexuality.

And if that isn’t a big, scary word. Sexuality. In a place like an all girls Catholic high school, saying the word “sexuality” was like opening a bag of chips in a dead quiet room. You will be met with winces or sneers or snickers. You might even get in trouble. The metaphor isn’t really foolproof, because on one hand, you’ve got a snack, and on the other, you’ve got an integral aspect of the human experience with endless variations. It’s a lot less “palatable”, for one. Not as tasty. Sexuality was funny. It was dirty. It was something to be whispered about and not spoken of, especially if you were twelve or thirteen or fourteen. Hell, even if you were older, it could still be something taboo. Growing up, or the failure of thereof, was a little peculiar like that.

But here they were for an entire two hour long talk all about sexuality. October of 2016, roughly one thousand fifty students were chucked into an auditorium where they tittered in a classic mixture of teenage curiosity, anticipation, and habitual boredom. On stage, the speaker, a family psychologist, walks out. The voices of the one thousand fifty students hush from a buzz to a hum to silence.

And the thus the talk began.

To say that the talk was a trainwreck would be a fantastic, monumental understatement. It seemed like every high school freshman I spoke to had something to say about the talk.

“Oh,” said A, a bookish girl with glasses who looked quiet and shy right up until I brought up The Talk. She pushed her glasses up in a way one knew meant she was livid. “It was awful.”

B, a student I had spoken to via email correspondence had written “It was terrible. Obscure. Immature.”

“I wanted to cry,” said R, looking like she was about to cry. “That talk made me want to cry.”

In a nutshell, the so-called sexuality talk was a verbal cavalcade of sexist stereotypes only thinly disguised as something educational. The speaker had talked about how men and women were different, how men’s brains were like waffles (boxed and organized) and women’s brains were like spaghetti (“Noodling around,” A told me. “I’m not shitting you. The speaker said, ‘women think like spaghetti, we’re always noodling around.’ What the hell does that mean?”) By the halfway point of the talk, students had resigned themselves to the fact that this was another one of those inane things the school did that they’ll have to forcibly erase from their memory. The talk went on about boys and girls and flirting and relationships and stuff everybody already knew about before always peddling back to “Studies first!” Educational stuff right here.

But the real kicker was this: one brave girl, just one out of roughly one thousand fifty, stood up, walked to the microphone set up in the aisle, and asked a question. She asked the question that was thrumming through the heads of a lot of students in the auditorium. She asked, “What do you think of LGBT?”

In front of one thousand fifty students, the speaker had smiled sweetly—sweet in the way that probably made you feel sick—and said “All the feelings you have for women, project them onto men instead.”

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Unfair - Part 1

Originally posted by mauloveskpop

Table of Contents: Part 1 | Part 2

Genre: angst, fluff

Word count: 2,442 words

Pairing: Wonho x Reader / Minhyuk x Reader

Summary: *REQUESTED* You find out that your “boyfriend” has had a girlfriend all along. Heartbroken, you find comfort in your friend, Minhyuk, who believes you deserve better.

You shouldn’t have believed him when he said that he loved you. Was it a lie? Had it been just words? They hadn’t been just words to you. Those words made you feel safe, secure. You let your guard down and trusted him. And, because you trusted him, you got your heart broken. It wasn’t fair. Why did things have to come to this? Why did this happen? Why had he lied to you the whole time? Why had he even bothered pursuing you in the first place.

Your heart dropped when you saw them together. He said that he was going to be visiting his parents in Anyang that weekend. Yet he was still in Seoul. He was standing in your view, holding hands with a girl. You didn’t see his face, but you knew it was him. After dating for seven months, you knew what he looked like from behind. You knew the way he walked and the way he talked. You knew him when you saw him. If it had just been his friend, he wouldn’t be holding her hand the way that he was. If anything, they’d be linking arms if they were friends. But, here he was, holding her hand the same way he held yours.

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Yona ch.136 spoilers

Akatsuki no Yona chapter 136 “Message” summary with pics and color title page

Please don’t repost/reuse my scans and translations without permission. Tumblr reblog is fine.

Do not use the raws or translations for scanlations and don’t upload them on other websites. If you need watermark-less images to make graphics, send me an ask (not on anon) and I’ll give you a link - you can only request 3 images per chapter.

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Interview Furukawa Yuuta Noah's Ark Circus

Dear fellow fans,

Please enjoy this interview with Furukawa Yuuta on the musical of Noah’s Ark

I found it an incredibly interesting interview, and I really wished to share it with as many people as possible, so I decided to translate it into English. As in the original interview both speakers refer to Sebastian as ‘Sebas’ (セバス), I have also left it as it is. Click [here] for the original Japanese interview.


Interview with Furukawa Yuuta on “Kuroshitsuji – Noah’s Ark Circus"

With the new announcement of your recast as Sebas, fans of the series have been absolutely ecstatic.

“Thank you very much. I have received quite many letters from fans, many of which included comments such as “I have been awaiting “Kuroshitsuji” with great anticipation”. I am very honoured to receive such kind words, though also feeling the pressure anew of wishing to live up to the fans’ expectations.”

The Kuroshitsuji musical franchise started in 2009, and from the latest run of “Lycoris that blazes the Earth 2015” on, the baton of Sebastian Michaelis’ role has been passed on to you. How do you experience the pressure of diving midway into a hit series?

“Pressure indeed. Well… even though I ‘succeeded’ the role, I think that I have been able to put all my heart into it. Although for me this is merely the second time I will be playing Sebas, I feel that along with my wish to suture even more deeply with this character, I have also come to realise again the daily worries while reading the comics and studying the script.”

As expected, you turn to the original comics for basis?

“My wish is to deliver to the audience that very experience that is left inside me from reading the Kuroshitsuji comics as a fan myself. It was like that the last time too, but this time I want to leave out all unnecessary things and wholeheartedly devote myself to delivering and expressing the inspirations and impressions I got from the original comics. That, I value the most at present.

This time the story is based on the original comic’s Circus Arc. From the published main visual images, I was left with a very deep impression.

“As many circus members are portrayed and it fuels the anticipations towards the assorted characters and highlight scenes… I have secretly been hoping that the audience would be thrilled. Visually speaking, I think this episode is very befitting for a stage adaptation. Just with one single glance… well, it’s a circus! The trapeze scene especially, but many other performances are incredibly difficult, but I shall take on the challenge. I am pleased that the trio of the mansion (Bard, Finny and Meylin) are going to have a great début as well, and I look very much forward to opposing Teruma’s William. Naturally, I have great hopes towards the songs the new musical will bring us.”

It’s the first time on stage for Uchikawa Reo who plays Sebas’ young master, Ciel Phantomhive.

“I have only met him a few times up to this point, but a bond has already grown between us within which we can talk without any masks. I heard that this is going to be his first stage performance, so I hope that before anything else he can enjoy the life on stage. To this end, I… well, ‘because’ of Sebas, just like him, I have come to want to stay by his side and support him. I want to make him smile. I told him” if there’s any kind of sweets you like, I shall present to you a full box, my Lord.”(Laughs)”

Mr. Furukawa, just a few days back you have successfully finished your performances in the musical “1789, Les Amants de la Bastille”, and now you will also play in great hit musicals like “Elisabeth (Rudolf)” and “Romeo and Juliet (Romeo)”. And along those, you will also be playing in the so called 2.5D musical of “Kuroshitsuji”?

“I have not really linked those at all. Just purely, every staging has its characteristics and charms, and are absolutely fun to watch.”

As a performer, is there something you feel especially strong about from experiencing both [musicals]?

“Strong… um… that is difficult. I can’t think of anything that strikes me especially, but I am absolutely certain that I will be able to gain a lot if I can become more and more active in activities within genres not restricted to these. I am sorry, I only managed to say things this abstract (laughs), but I’m sure it will all become a source of nourishment. Ah, more concretely I guess, some people who have seen me in “Kuroshitsuji” have thought “Let’s go watch the *Imperial Musicals (Elisabeth, 1789, etc.) next time,” and also, there are quite many similarities with “Kuroshitsuji” in the solemn aura as can be experienced in the historic play ‘Elisabeth’, so I think I have been able to bring that to live in the previous staging of “Kuroshitsuji”.”

In “Noah’s Ark Circus”, tragedies await to happen within the unique circus. Even though it will never have a happy end, that is the unshakable charm of “Kuroshitsuji”. What kind of Sebas will Circus Arc’s Sebas become, do you think?

“Generally speaking, I think I want to become one that is even more faithful to the original comic’s charms. Besides upholding the elegance and vigour of the character, I strive for a more subtle presence to become a truer demon. The brighter the spotlights shine, the more I wish to make Sebas’ shadows as the main character. Another point is, principally, Sebas looks down on human beings and makes fun of them.”

That is because besides not being a human, for a long, long time, he has witnessed and seen through the foolishness of human beings, right?

“Most likely. However, I really think that that very Sebas has been somewhat impressed on the inside from witnessing Ciel growing stronger and stronger as a human by going through all kinds of cases and tragic accidents. I personally think that the “while they may be foolish, the more they struggle, the stronger human beings become” is one very important theme within “Kuroshitsuji”. Therefore, I think that Sebas, although as a demon he thoroughly looks down on humans and merely makes fun of them, he treasures Ciel from the bottom of his heart… Sebas’ goal is then to solve this very contradiction for himself. It is my goal in turn, to accurately deliver to the audience the very ‘core’ of this series, to the point that they can truly feel the ‘unique master-servant-relationship’, an incredibly complicated, deeply and strongly entangled bond between Sebas and Ciel.”

I really look forward to the Circus Arc in which sheer elegance and cruelty are intertwined.

“The director Mr. Mouri has also said that he wants to “gradually remove all the pop-vibes”. That is definitely not to reduce the entertainment, instead it is to accentuate the… um, the darkness included, the world view that is unique to “Kuroshitsuji. We too will become one and work towards that very same goal in the new production.”


* Imperial Musicals
Stage productions for the Imperial Theatre in Japan - Teikoku Gekijou (帝国劇場)

Starboy (Part1)

Originally posted by jungkook-gifs

» Your fuckfriend has plans for you and you’d never guess who else will be part of them. 
»  Jimin x OC x ???
» 10.5k


 With eyes colors of the dark night, Park Jimin had surely the keys to a night full of pleasure. Despite the fact he was on the shorter side, he compensated with such high quality and passionate kisses the long of my neck that I found myself moaning before I even realized it. I was slowly losing my inhibitions when we heard a knock on the door.

Even if I started to see Jimin only a few months before, I didn’t need to think twice before having a guess on who was standing on the other side. I wasn’t all that familiar with all his group of friends but some were closer to him than others. Just like that, his roommate and best friend, Kim Taehyung, entered my life as well. “ What do you want, Tae?” Jimin groaned as he took his shirt from the room’s floor to put it back on. I laughed and fixed my dress and hair.

In a fraction of a second, Taehyung barged in and gasped in shock. “Oh, am I interrupting something?” He asked innocently and I laughed, kind of getting used to the fact that Taehyung was on the more innocent side of things. Jimin was now fixing his own hair, that I had previously well messed up.

“Take a guess.” Jimin snorted and I smiled at Taehyung, making him feel a bit more comfortable. When Jimin was cut from his daily sex session, he was the type to be a tiny bit rude anyway.

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Have you ever wanted to make your own icons, only to face how every tutorial out there seems to be based on photoshop and expects you to have it? Have you figured out a way to make them even so, but are looking for something that can make the job just a tad bit easier?

Hopefully, you can take a few tips from here!

Now, what is GIMP? It’s a free image editing program. Sold yet? Well, it is also expandable and has a bazillion (a round up) of scripts to be downloaded for whatever it is your editing needs… need. In fact, even in this one tutorial where I’ll be teaching you the basics, I’ll tell you to download one script which will make saving the icons we’ve made way, way easier. 

So, under the cut, I will explain some things about tumblr and dimensions, what script you’ll be needing for this, how to set up your working area, how to make icons and how to save them.

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“Thank You Misha” Appreciation Book

With the thought of the @supernaturalartbook​ and @thedestielartbook​ I decided to do something I’ve been toying with the idea of for a long time.

 will be a fan-made book consisting of user-submitted stories of how Misha Collins has touched the lives of the submitters and made a lasting impression on them.

This is an art project which I will keep going for as long as possible to collect as MANY inspirational stories from people about Misha Collins and how he has changed their lives and made the world a better place for them

Misha Collins is truly an angel who has done so much for all of us and it’s about time that we give a little back. At this point in time, this will be a one off printed book on my dime - I plan on inserting all the stories in a full color book (with some submitted Misha Collins artwork). The book will be a hardcover coffee table style book with a glossy dust jacket, gold leaf trim & embossed leather cover under the dust jacket. It will include a fairly long introduction chapter or two written by yours truly. The user submitted stories will immediately follow the introduction chapter. I will try to include up to two stories per page and am looking for AS MANY user submitted stories preferably of 400-1000 words each (but more or less is fine). The reason for the word limitation is that I need to be able to more or less fit two stories on some of the pages due to my page limit. Additionally, I will include a lot of pages with tweets from people telling me why they love Misha Collins. Initially, I will only be printing one copy of the book out of my pocket to hand deliver to Misha during a con some time during 2018, depending on how long the creation of this takes. Afterwards, I might be setting up an indiegogo campaign to sell copies of the book for people interested in owning a copy of their own. I will do this depending on how many people are interested. Any proceeds beyond printing costs will go to random acts.

This is just something I want to do for Misha with help from all of you beautiful people and any money made off of sales will go to RandomActs because it’s an organization I am VERY passionate about. Now that we got that out of the way, if you’re interested in contributing your story, please submit it through the submit page and be sure to adhere to the following guidelines.

  • Please check your spelling and grammar - I will go over it myself but it would be helpful if it already arrives checked and ready.
  • Please do not use any profanity or offensive language unless absolutely necessary. This is for Misha and the Collins family and I hope we can keep it clean and beautiful for him and his family to enjoy.
  • Please try to keep your story under over 300 but under 1000 words - THIS IS NOT A REQUIREMENT but more of a loose guideline so I can fit everything together well.
  • If you would like to submit artwork of Misha Collins to the book - I simply ask for your permission to print it in the book I give to him- I also ask that it be high quality and at least 300 dpi so it prints correctly & crisply on a large coffee table book. Watermark on the image is welcome as well as your name and a link back - will include that in the book for any artists that contribute their work.
  • I plan on including a name & location below each story submitted so please include your name & city/state with any submission. If you would like to include a link to your social media, I will happily include one link or email address as well with each submission. If no info is submitted, your submission will appear as -Anonymous
  • Additionally, I plan on having a credits section on the back of the book - if you submit a story or artwork, the name & location (and link) will be included in the credits section of the book.
  • Lastly, I will happily include a full page for anyone that runs a charity organization or any kind of group that was founded with Misha Collins in mind for charity work, support groups etc. The page will be a full page about the charity in question with description, information, contact & photos if you want to include them. I want to do this to prove to him that he doesn’t just HELP thousands, he inspires them to do good too. Please contact me through the ask box for more information regarding this.

The book printing will be done in 4 stages/

STAGE 1: Story Collection - Story collection will consist of collecting all the user submitted stories and artwork that will be included in the book The closeout date for when user submitted content will close is currently December 21st, 2017. Dates are subject to change.

STAGE 2: Format & Editing - This is the phase where I will format the book and edit all the content to make sure it fits well together and looks good. Additionally, I will be spellchecking all of the content and arranging all the user submitted artwork & charity pages to make sure everything looks clean and streamlined. Date TBD

STAGE 3: 1st Copy Printing - This is when I will be printing the first INDIVIDUAL copy of the book to deliver to Misha. This will be a very heavy coffee table book bound in leather, with a glossy dust jacket and gold leaf trim on the pages. The book will be in full color. I currently have an estimate for about $110 for one copy of the book - the price is pretty steep because I will be buying it on its own and not in bulk. I will be paying this out of pocket. Date TBD

STAGE 4: Mass Distribution(?) - This all depends on the feedback I get from people who submit and ask questions. More info to come. This isn’t even a set thing, it just depends on feedback I get since a few people have inquired if they’d be able to buy a copy. All proceeds after printing would go to Random Acts. Date TBD

If you have any suggestions or ideas, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

All submissions will be posted to this blog publicly unless requested otherwise-this will be for keeping track of submissions. Submissions may or may not be printed in the order they were submitted in, I haven’t decided that yet but will do a poll during stage 2 of this project.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing all of your stories of how this man has helped you.

WE LOVE YOU MISHA!

Ps if everyone could signal boost and reblog to get exposure out that would be extremely helpful! I need as many submissions as possible!

anonymous asked:

*slapping knees* gUESS WHO HAS A MOTHA FUCKIN' ANGST PROMPT? This guy! So so so imagine middle aged erejeans in which they're getting older and Jean is still super scared that Eren will one day stop loving him (I'm going to draw a thing for my idea, but I may as well leave a prompt before it leaves my head)

Dude, this was so hard to write? I noticed I’ve actually never written from the perspective of a middle aged character before and I had to concentrate so hard to get into a fitting mindset? Anyway, I hope it somewhat worked. Thanks for the challenge!
You should definitely show me your art when it’sa done so I can link it in this post!


The years had been kind to Eren. It wasn’t that they’d flown by without leaving their mark, of course they had. But with every change, every tiny, additional imperfection Eren grew more striking and unique. The silver streaks in his dark hair suited him just like the laughter lines around his mouth and eyes did. Even the scars he’d collected over the years and years working at the fire department were beautiful badges of honour he wore with pride.
Not even the difficult years after his accident where he’d almost died trapped in a burning building and developed serious Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder afterwards had managed to leave lingering shadows on his soul and mind. He still had nightmares sometimes and was uncomfortable in small rooms but he’d learned to deal with the intrusions that had gotten much rarer and look out for himself in unfamiliar situations.

Eren was strong and gorgeous and so full of life. He was happy. And that was really everything Jean had ever wanted for his husband. To see him happy and content with the life they had built together.
But at the same time it was so much harder than expected. To have someone beside him who was this vibrant and energetic and gorgeous, someone who made everyone around them light up with joy and fascination. Someone who was kind and loving and smart and deserved so much better.

Jean hadn’t aged nearly as well as Eren had. His hairline was thinning more with every passing month, his eyesight had worsened considerably over the last few years and his body … well, all the sitting around at the office sure didn’t do him any favours. He’d grown thin and weak, fingers bony and knees knobbly, the lean muscle he’d once been proud of melted away by long hours of overtime and laziness. He could barely stand looking in the mirror.
But it wasn’t just that. Jean was … boring. He knew that. Of the hundreds of things he’d found interesting thirty years ago there was barely anything left. He was interested in work, which was a silver lining in his grey everyday life. Then there were the handful of shows he enjoyed and followed. He liked good whiskey. He liked documentaries about nature and wildlife. He liked Eren. Besides that there wasn’t much.
He was also sarcastic and bitter about a lot of things. Politics, education, art. How any of their family members even tolerated him was a mystery.
How Eren could still stand to be married to him, an enigma.

“Maddie called earlier”, Eren said over the loud bubbling noises coming from the stove. He was preparing soup for dinner and busied himself cutting a few slices of fresh bread while it cooked.
Jean looked up from the article in his business magazine that he hadn’t caught a single word of.
“Yeah?”, he huffed, watching his husband across the kitchen island. “How is she? Still with that loser, what’s his … Chad?”
“Brad”, Eren corrected him, one side of his lips quirked up and Jean rolled his eyes. Right, Brad. Pathetic frat boy.

“She’s fine and yes, she’s still with Brad. But she called about the loan contract for her apartment? I told her you’d call her back…” Jean grumbled quietly, mentally going over his schedule.
“I’ll … call her Thursday around lunch time?”
“She called me Papa, I think it’s urgent”, Eren grinned. He was still clinging on to his image of Maddie as their little girl the way they’d first met her. Seven year old spitfire and constant pain in their asses. They loved her dearly and she’d learned to love them right back. Twenty years later nothing had changed, really.

“After dinner then”, Jean gave in and got a wide smile in return, the way the skin crinkled around Eren’s eyes now would always make his heart stop for a second or two.
“Thanks, darling.”
Eren finished with the bread and put the slices into a little basket they’d bought a few summers ago during their vacation in Italy.

“Is everything alright?”
When Jean looked up from his magazine again Eren was leaning across the kitchen island, handsome face dangerously close and studying him with that intense gaze. Jean swallowed and leaned away from him a bit. He could barely open his mouth to answer when Eren furrowed his brows and shook his head.
“Don’t you dare feed me bullshit. You’ve been grumpy the last few days. Well, grumpier than usual…”

Jean squinted at him even though the little laugh Eren tacked onto the words was quite disarming. But what was he even supposed to answer? ‘Could you stop being so damn amazing so I don’t feel like shit next to you’? Hardly the way to begin this discussion. But was there really an alternative? Should he even talk about this?
They’d been over his insecurities time and time again. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, nor an inexperienced freshman and it was definitely too late for a midlife crisis…

“’m fine”, he grumbled instead, eyes flicking back down to the pages he could swear he’d never seen before.
For a moment it felt like Eren would protest, insist, press on. He knew Jean way too well and there was no way he’d accept this without a fight. Then there was a low, thoughtful hum and Eren pushed himself away from the kitchen island to stroll over to the calendar hung on the wall.

“We should go dancing Saturday night”, he said, his voice light and pretty. “I’m not on call on Sunday, so…” When Jean looked over at his husband his eyebrows were dancing and Jean always laughed.
“Dancing?”, he asked, incredulous. They hadn’t been out to dance in … years, probably. “Where, the community centre? Maybe they’ll let us play bingo before. But we’ll need to take care to not throw out your hip…” Eren snorted but shook his head.
“Come on, we’re not that old!”
“We’re … pretty old, Eren”, Jean grumbled. He could already feel his stomach sink at the thought of people looking at them, wherever they might end up going. Wondering how someone as lively and beautiful as Eren could end up with someone as dull and ugly as Jean…

There was a hand curling around his, tugging him off the bar stool, gentle but insisting.
“Not too old for this”, Eren smirked as he pulled Jean close. The way he positioned their hands said he’d let Jean lead but the pull of his body showed the opposite, sweeping them around the kitchen and twirling around Jean to a silent tune.
Just like that the memories came back. Nights spent in dirty bars and clubs, sweating and sliding and spinning until sunrise. Then, later, ballroom dance at fancy work events and weddings, at their wedding…
Jean swallowed, his chest pulling tight around his heart. He had to hold on to this, this feeling, this amazing man, and enjoy their time together for however long he still could. Before Eren understood how pointless wasting his time with Jean was. Before he’d leave to find someone better.

“Saturday night, then”, he forced out and Eren’s answering smile was blinding.
“I love you, you grumpy old man”, he grinned as he suddenly dipped Jean. It wasn’t as low as it had been years and years ago, but his hands were still warm and broad, his body strong and steady. Jean felt his eyes slide closed.
“Love you too, idiot…”, he muttered and moments later soft lips pressed against his as Eren pulled him upright again.



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