i almost got cancer from that

astrology disney
  • Aries: "I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy." - Mulan
  • Taurus: "“You said you’d never leave.” - Beauty and the Beast
  • Gemini: "“I wonder if I've been changed in the night. Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!”
  • -Alice in Wonderland
  • Cancer: "“Man has always learned from the past. After all, you can’t learn history in reverse!” – Archimedes, The Sword in the Stone
  • Leo: "So this is love, So this is what makes life divine." - Cinderella
  • Virgo: ""Always let your conscience be your guide." - The Blue Fairy (Pinocchio)
  • Libra: "“Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them.” – The AristoCats
  • Scorpio: ": So you want me to throw her into the asylum, unless she agrees to marry you? Oh that is despicable (Laughs evilly) I LOVE IT!" - Beauty & The Beast
  • Sagittarius: " "You control your destiny - you don't need magic to do it. And there are no magical shortcuts to solving your problems." - Merida (Brave)
  • Capricorn: ""Even miracles take a little time." - Fairy Godmother
  • Aquarius: ""Listen to me. The human world is a mess." - The Little Mermaid
  • Pisces: "You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you… That’s where I’ll be waiting." - Peter Pan

My class once had to watch a lecture for some reason I can’t remember (maybe a teacher was absent), and that’s kinda normal. The lecture was about drugs, and that’s also normal. Until the lecture started. The first speaker was a woman who was already angry at us for sitting too far from the front when there were actually two classes and we were just leaving space, then she started speaking and it just kept getting worse.
First, introducing herself with titles and positions. That’s not what nice people do. Then, the lecture in itself. I don’t remember the details, but she went from “the ones who will offer you drugs will be your friends, not a stranger” to “your only true friends are your parents”, and if that’s not bad enough (it’s almost as if she was telling us not to trust anyone but our parents), she said “your best friend is your father” to a kid whose father is super distant from his family, and if that’s not bad I don’t know what is. She also did the cliche “love and respect your parents, what would you do if you got home today and your parents were dead?”, and said she wished a cancer to every atheist, even her son (who’s the great friend now?), and managed to make everyone angry.
After her, the one who spoke was an old man who told us the story of his life, like how he went from being the son of a great family to drowning in drugs and erasing his future to getting beter and finding his current wife who loves and helps him get over his past.
We complained about this, and we were all really angry about the woman’s behavior, and the principal told us they would make sure that woman wouldn’t give any other lectures at our school.

The biggest lesson I learned from almost dying of cancer is to love myself as though my life depends on it, because it does! If I could summarize why I believe I got cancer, it’s because I never loved myself.

What does lack of self-love look like? For me, it made me into a people pleaser, and caused me to constantly criticize myself, and beat myself up over every little thing. I was constantly judging myself, making myself small, suppressing my own voice, treating myself like a doormat, and devaluing myself. I never believed that I was worthy or deserving of good things in life. I was always the person on the sidelines, or in the shadows, watching the successes of others, wishing it was me.

As a result, I was always filled with fear and anxiety, because fear seems to find its way into the gap that is left in our heart where love should reside. What did I fear? Many, many things, such as failing, disappointing other people, not being good enough, and I even feared cancer itself. Every decision I’d made in my life up until that that point was driven by fear…a fear of the consequences, fear of not being accepted, a fear of not being liked, etc. I did things out of fear, not out of love and passion. Even if I ate healthy food and did healthy things, I did them out of a fear of illness – in other words, to avoid illness, as opposed to doing them because I loved my life, and wanted to live a long and healthy life.

It took almost dying of cancer to learn the importance of loving myself! I never even realized that we are supposed to love ourselves! I always thought that self sacrifice was a virtue! It was only in death did I realize that self sacrifice is not a virtue, but self love is! We are supposed to love ourselves, because it’s our birth right, and we are supposed to live our lives with passion and gusto, and be who we are fearlessly!

Nowadays, if I ever feel the edges of fear creeping up on me, I know that it’s an invitation to love myself more, because fear can only exist in the absence of love. The best way to transcend fear is to increase love. The world we live in today needs more love than ever!

—  Anita Moorjani, newsletter “The Biggest Lesson”, April 2017
2,500

I’ve almost hit that milestone and I love this fandom to death, and for it I wanna make a Cancer Crew master post.
Like with blogs into categories like Ian content, Max Content Joji content, content from all three, Filthy Frank content, mixed content, fan art, specific fan art, general fanfics, specific fanfic categories, etc. (plus some additional things like specific things you like, specific characters ships etc. if you’d like)

I’ve got some in mind, but with that, reblog this post and put in the tags what kinda stuff you post and I’ll go through them all and add them to the master post 👌

2

Second ever competition as a purple belt!!! Lost the final by a single advantage to a much more experienced purple belt, can’t really complain. I honestly love doing Tap Cancer Out events, having such a great cause is made even better by how great all the competitors and refs are. And the overall event raised almost $170,000 for pancreatic cancer research!!!

So I met this man at Starbucks today. (Please read)

While I was at Starbucks I met this old man, he sat next to me and said “busy day?” I replied “not really more a an relaxed busy day” we both laughed. Then he asked if I lived around here. I got a bit freaked out and he continued “it’s not what you think, I just came in from out of town to see my daughter and I wanted to know if there where any nice places to take her to eat. ” I then thought about it and gave him all the near by nice restaurants. He said “thank you”, I asked “just for the visit?” He replied “no it’s to celebrate her release from the hospital and winning her battle with cancer”. I got quiet and had no words.

This stanger just told me some news that is truly magnificent, I didn’t know how to respond other than saying “your definitely a great father to do that for her” he said “thanks” we then had small talk till he then picked up his coffee and left. I don’t think I’ll ever forget meeting this man. You never know what people are going through, even the person sitting next to you.

I almost wanted to cry after he left. Even though I just met him and never met his daughter, I felt so happy but upset for him. Who knew how long she was fighting, I never asked how old she was or how long cancer was effecting her,all I could think was, wow. This man either was really excited about the news and just wanted to tell someone, or he’s just really friendly. Either way I was left with nothing but a lump in my chest and my mind just processing what I just heard. It’s amazing.

Obsessive Editing - Cancer Crew Preference

Ian:

“What are you working on, babe?” you ask tiredly, hugging Ian’s neck from behind. He barely acknowledges you, seemingly lost in the process of whatever video he’s got open on his desktop.

“Just ten more minutes, I promise,” Ian tells you absently, almost like he’s got an automatic response programmed into his head. He’s been at this for over two hours, and you’ve pretty much decided that Ian’s just being irrationally obsessive about editing these clips. You don’t know what triggers it, but sometimes, he’ll just down at his computer and decide that a certain video has to be absolutely perfect, then proceeding to nearly drive himself crazy trying to get everything to be just so.

“You’re gonna go blind if you sit here all night in a dark room with a bright computer screen blaring in your face like this.” You know you sound like one of those tech-safety pamphlets that soccer moms get in the mail from their kids’ elementary schools, but you don’t care at this point. You know that Ian wants to go to sleep just as bad as you want him to, and you also know that he’s going to go insane if he keeps readjusting everything until the sun comes up.

“I just gotta get these frames to line up, and then I’ll get in bed. Seriously, baby, I mean it.” Ian never looks away from the computer once while he says all of that, and you just sigh and kiss his temple.

“You’ll do a better job if you look at it with fresh eyes in the morning,” you say gently, dead set on coaxing him away from his desk. Maybe providing him with an excuse to stop will do the trick.

Finally, Ian stops his incessant mouse-clicking and reaches up to touch your arm. “Maybe you’re right,” he says slowly, still staring into his computer screen. “I am pretty tired. This is driving me nuts anyway.”

You cheer silently as you watch Ian save his work and shut off the monitor, satisfied when he goes off to brush his teeth. You crawl back into your bed and wait for him to come out of the bathroom, eyes already growing heavy. Ian greets you with a kiss when he comes back, curling up beside you. He scoots closer and slings his arm around your waist, kissing you hair a couple of times before he murmurs goodnight.

“Gonna finish that video first thing,” Ian mumbles decisively, but you can tell that he’s already half asleep. “Love you, baby.”

“Love you, too,” you murmur back, happy to be falling asleep with Ian beside you.

Joji:

“You still up, Jo?” you ask, rubbing your eyes as you pad into the living room. Joji’s sitting there on the couch in his pajamas, laptop balanced on his legs with a soda in his hand. He looks startled when he turns to you.

“Hey, babe, yeah,” he says quickly, blinking a few times. He glances back at his laptop and then looks sheepish. “Is it really almost three a.m.?”

You nod, still groggy from having been asleep. Joji said that he would be in bed in half an hour when you went to sleep at eleven, so you brushed your teeth and got in bed without thinking much of it. You only came to see where he was after you woke up and noticed that he hadn’t so much as touched his side of the bed.

“Yeah,” you say, recoiling from the glaring light of his laptop screen as you come to sit beside him. Joji puts his arm around you and lets you curl into his side, now back to working on his project again. You watch him click and drag things around the screen for a few seconds before asking, “What are you working on?”

“Just this thing me and the guys did a while back,” he tells you, obviously distracted.

“You should come to bed with me, baby. You’ve been working on this since before I first went to sleep.” You look up at Joji to see his reaction, but there’s none to be found. He’s still staring at his editing software and splicing clips together.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m almost done,” he says, and you know that’s a lie. When Joji gets on one of his perfectionist kicks, he’s never done with whatever he’s obsessing over.

“Come on, I’m serious.” You pull Joji’s hand away from the laptop and sit up, intent on getting him in bed. You knows that he’s exhausted from everything he’s done today, and even so, it’s not good for anybody to be awake and staring at their computer until the sun rises.

Joji starts to protest, but you just give him a stern look and tug on his hand. “Come to bed, Jo,” you say, and you’re not asking this time.

“Fine.” Joji caves, but you can also tell that he’s just as exhausted as you assumed he was. He clicks a few things and then shuts his laptop, abandoning it on the coffee table without any resistance.

Joji goes off to brush his teeth, and you crawl back in bed, more than ready to get back to sleep. When he pulls back the covers and gets in bed, Joji pulls you against his chest and whispers goodnight, settling himself in. You nudge him. “Where’s my kiss?”

“Sorry baby,” he murmurs, tipping his head down to kiss you. You smile and bury your face in his chest, already half asleep again.

Max:

Max is glued to his computer, obsessively splicing clips and cutting scenes together for a video he and Chad made a couple of days ago. He’s been in and out of the kitchen every so often, refilling his mug of tea and murmuring to himself that you don’t quite understand. You wouldn’t be worried under the usual circumstances (Max is a notorious perfectionist, and it’s not uncommon for him to zone into editing a video for an hour or two at a time), except, well… Max has been at this for way longer than usual- four hours, to be exact- and you’d be lying to yourself if you said that you weren’t starting to worry about him a little. He hasn’t eaten or drank anything except tea in all of that time, and you’re pretty sure he hasn’t gone to the bathroom in a while, either.

Maybe you should check on him to, you know… make sure he’s still all there and everything.

You go into the kitchen first, though, deciding that maybe it’s time Max put down some solid food. You make him up a sandwich, throwing some chips on the plate beside it, and trek to the bedroom to see if Max is even still conscious in there.

All of the lights of are off when you walk in, and Max is right where you thought he’d be- sat in front of his desk clicking away on his computer, completely out of reality. The monitor’s glow is nearly blinding, even from the doorway, and you know that that can’t be doing any good for Max’s eyes. Besides, he looks jittery, what with the way he’s bouncing his leg up and down and chewing on his thumbnail.

“Max,” you say, trying to get his attention. “I brought you some food.”

Max snaps out of whatever trance he was in before, whipping his head sideways to look at you. “Thanks, love,” he says, but he sounds distracted, turning back to his screen not a second after the words leave his lips.

“Baby, seriously,” you say, flipping on the light. You walk further into the room and set the plate of food down beside Max’s mug of tea, touching his shoulder. Max looks up at you, blinking against the sudden brightness of the room. He looks like a wreck, all red-eyed and pale.

“I’m almost done, babe, I promise.” Max starts clicking on the mouse again, dragging frames around and adding things here and there.

“You’ve been at this forever, Max,” you plead, exasperated. “Please just take a break for a few minutes. Eat the sandwich I made you, drink some water. You look exhausted.”

Max finally stops working, sighing and turning his chair towards you. He rubs at his eyes and then looks over at the plate of food that you brought for him. “Maybe I should eat,” he says slowly. Max picks up the sandwich, takes a bite, and then smiles at you softly. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

You smile, moving his hair off of his face. “Anytime, Martin Scorsese.”

The signs as things I heard my dorm neighbors say through the wall:

(Quotes from 2 football players who my sister and I lived next to our 1st year of college)

Taurus: “I’ll put this cactus in my ass”
Leo: “I almost dropped my croissant”
Capricorn: “All I see is dead bodies”
Aquarius: “#NeverListenToJeff”
Cancer: “What the Fuck is this, Jose?
Aries: “I can’t see outta my right eye. I got sriracha in my right eye.”
Virgo: ”I got a death machine.“
Pisces: *raps entirety of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air*
Gemini: *loudly plays/sings along to Burnin’ Up by the Jonas Brothers*
Sagittarius: “No, stop talking about politics!”
Scorpio: “Whenever u talk about politics it makes me wanna slit my throat!”
Libra: “You’re not the only guy in my life, okay?”

The Joker x Reader 8

You haven’t been feeling well for a while and you asked Dr. Quinzel to run some blood tests for you. After a few days, she wanted to personally see you at the penthouse. She has bad news.

“I am sorry to tell you this, Y/N, but the test results don’t look good,” she says, biting her lip and by the way she handles herself you can tell it’s bad.

“What is it, doc?” the Joker asks, trying to hide his concern. You just sit there, gulping, waiting to hear the words.

“I’m sorry, but you have cancer, Y/N. Breast cancer. Pretty advanced, but we have several treatment optio…”

Step 1 - Denial

“What??!!” he interrupts her, annoyed. “My baby doll doesn’t have cancer; just look how beautiful my princess is,” J says pointing his finger towards you to make her aware of the mistake. You just stare at Dr. Quinzel with a shocked expression on your face, not really knowing how to react.

“Pumpkin, are you OK?” He comes towards you and places himself by your side on the leather couch. You don’t even hear him. “Baby doll, come here.” You feel you are being moved and you suddenly get out of trance to find yourself in his lap.

“Hey, doll, hey…look at me,” he gently grabs your chin, turning your face so he can see your eyes. “You’re ok, do you hear me? It’s just a mistake.” He plants a soft kiss on your lips while caressing your hair.

Harleen  feels out of place, not used to see him acting so tender towards somebody. She fake- coughs a little bit so she can get your attention.

“ I’ve run the tests 4 times, there is no mistake…I’m sorry.”

He growls, unhappy at her answer. “Run the damn tests again, do you hear me? Or I will make you!!!!!!!!”

“Puddin…please, don’t be mean to her, you know she’s a good doctor,” you plead with shaky voice, holding tight to his neck. “You know she wouldn’t tell us this unless she was sure.” The Joker takes a deep breath, frustrated, his blue eyes suddenly darken. “What are my options?” you ask Harleen, resting your forehead on his.

Step 2 - Rejection

It’s been two weeks since you found out about your illness and you decided you will start chemo soon. J became very distant and it breaks your heart. You barely saw him for a few hours; he doesn’t even sleep at the penthouse anymore. He didn’t take you in any heists and canceled all the plans involving you without explanation. When you asked him what is going on, he just snapped and told you to be quiet, then stormed out and was gone again.  You cried for a while, you lost count how much, not really having no one to talk to. He is your world and your world is crumbling down. The sudden change in his behavior hurts you more than the thoughts of your gloomy future. Then it hits you: of course, why didn’t you think about it? You are sick, you’re broken, why would he want a broken doll? So what if you’ve been together for a long time, you out of everybody should know how things work with him. And you thought you had his heart… how stupid of you…but…he had yours for sure.

You fall asleep trying to relief your sorrow by holding his pillow tight to your chest, his scent making you feel lonelier than ever.

**********

You open your eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. The Joker’s breathing is steady, his head resting on your shoulder, holding you tight. He’s fast asleep. You must have been really tired too since you didn’t wake up when he sneaked in bed. Your face lights up with a big smile, you missed him. You start sobbing, squeezing him closer to your body. You try to control your cry but it’s hard. This outburst of happiness and hope makes you shiver.

“Baby doll, are you crying?…” J mutters half asleep, trying to find your eyes and check for himself.

“Puddin, I’ve missed you so much…and…I didn’t …feel…very…well…” you confess, whimpering after each word.

“Princess, you know I’m not good with this stuff…I didn’t mean to be a jerk. The truth is…I am scared to lose you…I’m panicking here…and…(he gasps) I was out all this time trying to find something that might help you. I’ve broken in all the hospitals and medical facilities I heard might have medications or experimental drugs that could help you. There are all at our warehouse, I’ll have Dr. Quinzel take a look.”  

“So you don’t hate me?” you sniffle, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

“Hate you?!” J lifts himself up and reaches for the night stand, turning the lamp on.

You must look like crap because his facial expression says it all.

“Jesus, Y/N, come here.” The Joker’s voice is breaking and his eyes get teary. You rarely see him like this. It makes you sad again. You crawl in his arms and he whispers: “I’m not gonna let you die.”

Step 3 - Guilt

It’s been a month since you started chemotherapy. You’re not doing very good. It makes you feel so sick. Mister J spends a lot of time with you. You feel bad he has to see you like this. Your body is starting the feel the aftermath of such a strong, aggressive treatment. Today you had to cut your beautiful long hair and now you just glance at your image in the mirror, shocked at how much you hate yourself with the new look.

Harleen determined that some of the stuff the Joker got for you might be useful in your treatment, but she has to research it some more herself.

You head towards the balcony so you can enjoy the view. Gotham looks so…alive, you think to yourself. ”Comparing to me…”, you mumble, winching in pain. Everything hurts.

You get your feet on the chair, then you hop on the edge of the balcony, looking down from the 30th floor. If you take one step ahead then…  …Should you?…

You lift your arms above your head and pet your short new hair due. The wind is picking up.

“Baby doll, what are you doing?”

You turn your head to look at J. He seems worried; his hands are already reaching for you. You let him help you down from the edge and you notice anger in his eyes.

“I wasn’t going to jump, you know, although… it might seem like a good solution. I hate that you have to deal with me like this…Surprise, Puddin, I had to cut my hair too…” you awkwardly smile, embarrassed he caught you in a vulnerable moment. The burn of his slap on your cheek makes you squint your eyes. You are shocked he hit you, he never did before. You touch your red skin, and tears start running down.

“Don’t…don’t even think about it, Y/N. Don’t you dare…“ he’s panting, his chest going up and down in fast motions. He yanks your hand and drags you inside, not stopping until you get in front of the huge mirror in the master bedroom.

“See? You are my Princess”, the Joker pushes you in front of him. You can feel how tense he is. “You will get better and everything will go back to normal…Don’t…don’t do anything…stupid…please?”… he begs, resting his chin on your shoulder, hugging you from behind. “Promise?”

He looks so lost, you are not used to this.

“I promise.”

Step 4 – Running is better than staying

Mister J almost got killed twice. Batsy almost had him too. All in one week. He’s distracted, nervous, tired, worried. Because of you. It’s your fault. He makes mistakes that might be fatal…You don’t want that to happen, you could never forgive yourself. You decided is better to disappear. Sure, he’ll look for you, he’ll suffer, but he’ll also eventually forget. Besides, there is no guarantee you’ll survive your cancer. In a moment of weakness, feeling sorry for you, Dr. Quinzell agreed to help you and allowed you to stay with her. She knows it’s dangerous but she wants to aid you.

Of course the Joker raided her place looking for you. The secret compartment she has in the closet is the perfect hiding place for such situations. You just prayed he wouldn’t hurt her. She was stern and strong, not giving up in front of him. Eventually, J had to take his men and leave, not after threatening he’ll kill her if she hears from you and doesn’t report back to him. It was so hard not to jump from your hiding place and run in his arms. You cried for hours afterwards. You know he’ll turn the city inside out looking for you.

Step 5 – No regrets

It’s a miracle the Joker didn’t find you yet. It’s been 6 months since you left him. You always watch the news, hoping you are not going to hear anything bad. The number of break-ins, murders and robberies decreased. He’s laying low. It makes you relieved, it means he’s safe. Safer without you around to distract and weight him down anyway.

You got very good news today: Dr. Quinzel said your cancer is in remission. She had to leave for work and you are home alone. You’ve been debating if you should call him or not. It’s been so long…Probably gave up on you. You smile, feeling your soul falling apart to pieces. Maybe he has somebody else…After all, you just left without a word, when he was so supportive and willing to be with you no matter what. But that could have killed him. You feel guilty. But…maybe he should know you’re ok. He deserves to know.

You pick up the receiver, and with shaky hands you dial his cell phone number. After 3 rings you hear:

“ Hi Doc. Any news for me?” The Joker’s voice is raspy and low, almost growling the words. He sounds tired.

“Hi…hi…Puddin…it’s me…” that’s all you manage to say before you burst into tears, not being able to stop.

“Prin…princess, is that you? Princess???!!”

He can’t see you nod yes.

“Have you been at Quinzel’s all this time? I’ll kill her!!!! I’ll come get you!!!!” He sounds so desperate. It makes you a bit happy.

“No, no, please don’t, she’s been wonderful. Thanks to her I am getting better. I…I just wanted to tell you I’m doing good, my cancer is in remission…Are…are you doing good?… Did…did you eat today Puddin?…” You always used to ask him this because he’s so busy he forgets to take care of himself.

You can’t see but he’s silently crying, he feels so relieved to hear your voice telling him you’re better.

“No, no, baby doll, didn’t have a chance yet,” he replies, trying to compose himself. “Want to come home and make me something?”

You start crying even harder.

“Yes, yes, come pick me up please. I love you.” You quickly say, hanging up. At this point you are bawling. He still wants you, he was still trying to find you. The Clown Prince of Crime never gave up on his Princess, like he promised he won’t a long time ago.

You don’t even know how long has been, but you hear the knock on the door. He’s here.

You feel so nervous opening the door, finally seeing him after half a year. His hair is as green as ever, he looks as handsome as ever, the bags under his eyes are the only proof of the countless sleepless nights and days. He’s wearing your favorite purple coat.

“Hi, babe…” you mumble, not being able to move. Your body is so tiny and frail now, your hair a bit longer. His heart breaks seeing you so small, so fragile.

He pushes you inside and suddenly lifts you in his arms, covering you in kisses.

“Baby doll, don’t you ever leave again!” J purrs in your ear, ecstatic he finally found you.

You melt in his strong embrace.

“I promise I won’t,” you softly speak, kissing him back.

Also read - MASTERLIST :

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

The Signs as Jace Wayland Book Quotes
  • Aries: "It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234.'"
  • Taurus: "Love is to destroy and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed."
  • Gemini: "I've got a Stele we can use, who wants to do me?"
  • Cancer: "Don't be ridiculous, no one believes in mummies."
  • Leo: "A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?"
  • Virgo: "I've heard the word fear. I simply choose to believe it doesn't apply to me."
  • Libra: "I'll have to change the entry in the demonology text book from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.'"
  • Scorpio: "I love you and I will love you until the day I die and if there's a life after that I'll love you then."
  • Sagittarius: "I turn myself down occasionally just to keep it interesting."
  • Capricorn: "I know greater demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell."
  • Aquarius: "I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people."
  • Pisces: "If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked."

i almost forgot i have a cardiac echo tomorrow!

this is a big deal - it’s no cat scan, and it can’t tell me fully how my cancer treatment is progressing, but my doc thinks it will be a good indicator. 

the mass in my chest was… well fucking massive. (guys if you could have seen the medical staffs that had to tell me about this thing before i even got a look at it…. whew)

either it or gross gunk around it was pushing against my heart - from what I understand, partially closing the left ventricle 

when I learned this it made sense as to why I was so tired and sluggish, as to why I could no longer go up stairs easily, etc etc. 

since treatment i’ve been feeling like i have better heart/lung capacity (okay, I know I’ve been passing out guys, but I can actually walk around the whole grocery store or go up stairs again). 

so tomorrow i find out if this danger has receded LIKE THIS WUSS COWARD CANCER MOTHER FUCKER SHOULD DAMN DO. 

With A Little Help From My Friends

Title: With A Little Help From My Friends

Paring: Jensen x Reader

Song: With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles 

Word Count: 811

Warning: TALK OF CANCER!! Hair loss, vomiting, anger.

THIS PIECE IS MEANT TO BE SUPPORTIVE, HOWEVER, IF THIS IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU DO NOT READ IT

Request by @frick-you-im-a-princes said: Could you do a story where the reader gets cancer and the whole cast helps her through it but not as much as Jensen. And he reassuring her that she is beautiful with or without hair. And when Jensen can’t be there the readers best friend is there for her. And after, they celebrate her recover? You don’t have to if you don’t want to😅 but thanks for reading!

A/N: As I started writing this it took on a bit of a life of its own. I hope you like this!


What would you think if I sang out a tune

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

And I’ll try not to sing out of key

Looking down at your brush you took a deep breath. Damnit. Starting to cry you felt your stomach lurch. Shit! You barely made it to the toilet before you were throwing up again.

You jumped when you felt a hand rubbing your back. “I got you baby, I got you. Let it out. There you go, just let it all up.” Jensen soothed you as he helped you through.

Keep reading

The Signs As Phil Lester’s Tweets

Aries: My taxi driver pulled over at a pub as he had to pee! The meter is running! Am I paying for his pee break?!  

Taurus: I just witnessed a squirrel kick another squirrel out of a tree! SQUIRREL KOMBAT  

Gemini: Can I have extra gluten please? Give me all of that juicy gluten

Cancer: I knocked my entire box of bath bombs into the bath so I just had the most intense bath ever. It was like a smelly glittery volcano

Leo: BACK IN LONDON! The house is freezing! A polar bear would catch a cold in here. *sets everything on fire*

Virgo: Happy #houseplantappreciationday *licks all my cacti*  

Libra: Offended by the lack of pancake emoji how pancakeist  

Scorpio: My salted caramel coffee tastes like a salted salt saltee

Sagittarius: ALWAYS CHECK FOR CACTI WHEN WARMING YOUR BUTT ON A RADIATOR  that was almost a disaster

Capricorn: Just sent an important email and realized my phone autocorrected ‘Phil’ to 'Oil me’.

Aquarius: I got a face wash from lush and it has actual pieces of popcorn in it?! Am I meant to eat them while I wash my face?

Pisces: Tried to get an early night and woke up an hour later with a moth crawling on my lip. THANKS WORLD

the signs as scott pilgrim quotes
  • Aries: "you cocky cock!"
  • Taurus: "if I peed my pants would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?"
  • Gemini: "tell your gay friends I said bye."
  • Cancer: "I sorta feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you"
  • Leo: "I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public"
  • Virgo: "we almost held hands once but then she got embarrassed"
  • Libra: "look, I've dabbled in being a bitch."
  • Scorpio: "well, I'm a little bi-furious!"
  • Sagittarius: "I have to go pee due to boredom."
  • Capricorn: "I just like to live."
  • Aquarius: "pirates are in this year"
  • Pisces: "you know what sucks? everything"

mystic-messenger-is-life  asked:

Hey, have you gone through Jumin's Route in the Mystic Messenger DLC yet? It has some good info and theory evidence about V. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this and how it could possibly change what would be expected of a V Route.

Jumin’s was the first I did! I stayed up until four in the morning playing it and oh lordy was I ever ill the next day. Worth it though. Got hugged by the cat mom

Anyway, I was going to make a longer post when I’d finished all of the routes and had a bit more to say on the topic (at the moment, I’ve finished 707′s route, Jumin’s and the Bad end I don’t care what people say, 707 locks you in the apartment and says WELL YOU SHOULDA TALKED MORE IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT IF YOU’RE SAD it’s a bad end to me). But yeah, there’s interesting V stuff on all routes and I wanted to unpack everything when I had it all available to go through.

That said, I do have some thoughts:

Keep reading

I have so much empathy for Emma’s friends and family. I can barely see my keyboard from crying because just picturing what they’re going through is just overwhelmingly sad. I wish i got the opportunity to meet her and know her personally because she seemed like such a great, fun, and sweet person. I followed her as she defeated her cancer for the first time and when she got it again. I followed her as she put smiles on her friends’ faces when she danced, laughed, and just did silly things. I followed her as she was going from hospital to home and home to hospital almost every day but she STILL had a smile on her face. She was so strong and i truly thought nothing can defeat her. We keep asking outselves why bad things always happen to good people and it’s such a hard question to answer. I have no answer, and i’m pretty sure there never will be one. Maybe things like this happen for a reason or no reason at all. But I really do not want to believe she is gone. I want to believe that she is still here with us smiling and laughing and then say something like “you just got punk’d!” I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me, but i still miss her. My condolences to her friends and family.

anonymous asked:

Not a question but I was in my way to the NFL and life just really threw me some curveballs (mom was paralyzed, diagnosed with cancer, brother got over 100k from a lawsuit, and didn't share almost any of it, my depression was bad, I got fat, I lost all my friends but 2, I flunked out of school etc) and now when I finally see the light I get diagnosed with arthritis so no more football. I was playing in college & I was close! Now I take pain pills everyday & cant walk/function w/o them. Its a lot

Subhanallah! How are you coping? Remember that Allah’s plan is what is best for you and whatever wasnt meant for you was never going to reach you. May Allah bless you and your mother

THIS! MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!! I am actually a (almost) 19 year old fan, and i cannot control what calum does, yes BUT I also know and have lived with the effects of smoking. My grandma passed away from it, i never got to meet her. My other grandma’s best friend has lung cancer. She breathes through an oxygen tube & tank that she has to bring everywhere. They have given her a 6 months notice because she continues to use the vape pens because SHE IS SO ADDICTED. No i cannot control calum, no i do not want to upset him or make drama but YES i do care about him & his health. I dont want this to cost him his voice, or life. theres a difference between a 12 year old telling a grown man what to do, and worrying about his health.

The 2p! Allies As Love Quotes

2p! America: From Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 4,

“Romeo: I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe. Under love’s heavy burden do I sink

Mercutio: And, to sink of it, should you burden love-Too great oppression for a tender thing.

Romeo: is love a tender thing? It is too rough, Too rude, too boist’rous, and it pricks like thorn.

Mercutio: If love be rough with you, be rough with love.”


2p! England: From Gone Girl

“Because you can’t be as in love as we were and not have it invade your bone marrow. Our kind of love can go into remission, but it’s always waiting to return. Like the world’s sweetest cancer.” 


2p! France: From Your Laughter

“My love, in the darkest hour your laughter opens, and if suddenly you see my blood staining the stones of the street, laugh, because your laughter will be for my hands like a fresh sword”


2p! China: From Gone Girl (again)

“Her mind was both wide and deep, and I got smarter being with her. And more considerate, and more active, and more alive, and almost electric, because for Amy, love was like drugs or booze or porn: There was no plateau. Each exposure needed to be more intense than the last to achieve the same result”


2p! Russia: From The Last Vampire

“Some loves have to be given up, others have to be forgotten. Strange as it may sound, if you think of me as a monster, but I can love most passionately. I do not think of myself as evil.”

365 days of writing: day 117

Day 117: insurance

               I have work today mehh. I’m almost done with the shredding so I’m not sure what tasks they will have for me once I’m finished with shredding and I’m almost a tad worried about it. The insurance company is also being a pain about providing for my surgery and I might have to find a second therapist just to confirm the diagnosis I already got from my main therapist which is a waste of our time and money. I highly doubt any other therapist will be as affordable as my current one and I can’t imagine people who are less financially stable than me being able to afford a whole new therapist so it feels like the therapists are a little anti-trans still. I mean, if I had cancer or something like that they’d pay no problem but I’m trans so it has to go through this whole process. I just hope we’ll get it done because I am not getting this surgery without insurance paying for it.

               Anyway, my day went fine yesterday. The employment resources woman I met with seems like she had some pretty good ideas about employment. I haven’t told her about going to Japan in October but I at least told her that I applied to the school and plan to tell her once I hear from the admissions director at the school again. I still haven’t heard from him so I’m trying to be optimistic still but it’s annoying not hearing anything. IF they accept me he’ll have to get back to me because he’ll want money for the registration fee and I can’t pay him until he gives me the information on how to pay so yeah…still waiting. I hung out with my best bro yesterday and we had fun hanging out. He came over relatively early too so we had a nice long day together.

               The doctor is going to examine me tomorrow to decide which type of hysterectomy to give ma and it will be under anesthesia so I won’t be able to eat anything after midnight. The appointment is at 11:15 so I’m probably going to be a mess. I’ll get to eat right after the appointment though so I guess I’ll just be a little miserable in the morning. I’m allowed to wake up at 4 AM and do a few clear liquids but I don’t think we have any clear liquids with sugar in them, I’ll have to ask Poppy if she can pick something up but it doesn’t really sound like much fun either way. My best bro is off on Friday so he might be able to come over and doesn’t seem to care that it would be late so I guess he can cheer me up if I’m out of it.

               I guess that’s it for now, I don’t really have much else to say. Next week I’m going to work Monday and Tuesday since my best bro is off next Wednesday again and Poppy’s leaving to go to the beach again this Saturday for a week so I’ll have four solid days by myself. I’m sure though that mom and dad will want to hang out with me for some of that time though. I’m still mixed about Natasha…I’m thinking I’m just going to cancel this week with her because I don’t really want to go to the mall without eating or buying anything and she wants to save her money which I understand but like…I dunno it doesn’t sound like a good time to me and working out transportation with mom and dad is a pain so I might just tell her I can’t do this week because I’m house-sitting. I am house sitting anyway so I don’t feel bad saying that.