Solved the mystery of Nugget gettin’ up on the counter. Rose got me this “play pen” thing for keepin’ him in when I be cookin’. Sneaky, smart ass little ninja be usin’ it to crawl up on.
I ain’t know why the lil ma’fk like sugar so much, it ain’t good for grubs (that what Kanaya told me) but he ain’t got sick yet. I does try ta’ keep him outta my bakin’ shit. Jus’ turn around for a motherfuckin’ minute to check some shit and he crawlin’ up that thing again. This grub shit be hard..
Hair | Okay, gotta bleach him out, peroxide on him / Hair on the floor like my memory of him / Now I feel brand new, this chick is over you
Love Me Like You | I tried to find somebody new / Baby they ain't got a clue, can't love me like you.
A.D.I.D.A.S | Since I met you I been thinking all day / I been Googling ways to keep you entertained / It's been 3 weeks since we started to play / Now it's serious babe cause what you do is crazy
The End | I won't be missing, missing you, And no one can love you, The way I used to do,
Black Magic | Take a sip of my secret potion,I'll make you fall in love. For a spell that can't be broken, One drop should be enough.
Love Me or Leave Me | You can take this heart / Heal it or break it all apart / No, this isn't fair / Love me or leave me here
Secret Love Song | We keep behind closed doors / Every time I see you, I die a little more / Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls / It'll never be enough
Lightning | I'd cross a desert and an ocean / To get away from the pain of your storm / But chase the sun light, been running from your shadow
OMG | Oh my gosh, I did it again / He said I broke his heart, it keeps happening / I don't know why they always fall for me
It's funny how the tables turn / I'm sitting back baby watching you burn / No regrets, it's a lesson learned / 'Cause what you think ain't my concern
Weird People | When I was just a little kid, I was sitting on the garden wall / Well, I must've bumped my head cause I don't dance the same no more
I Love You | I got this hole up in my heart baby, baby / And it doesn't matter what no one say / Even though it's broken, I love you anyway
The words hang out in the balance and neither of them know how to address them; there is no retracting them and no one in their right mind would willingly step forward and claim them, instead they just hover in the silence over a stoic Lena and stunned Kara, who’s blinking back tears.
Rejection’s one thing. Kara’s experienced rejection before and it stung, but she got over herself. Circle of life, all that jazz. This? This is a whole other level of pain.
Lena just looks at her, like she doesn’t know what to follow with that damning of a statement. Lena looks at her and apology is the only color in her eyes because that’s not how the words meant to come out but it is, it is and there’s no taking it back.
“No, Kara insists, shaking her head as tears burn in her eyes and casts them downwards so Lena doesn’t see, doesn’t get to see. “No, it’s okay, I…um, I really have to go–“ Her voice falls off short, there’s not much more she knows to say in a situation like this because her brain and body and heart are all screaming for her to flee.
It’s as good as over.
It’s over, all because Kara shot out how she felt and Lena froze up like a glacier, Kara driving herself right in the side of it only to sink like the damn Titanic. She sits on her couch for thirty-six hours solid, staring at the wall because she’s still trying to figure out how to breathe while surrounded by nothing but ice-cold water. She was a mistake to Lena, that’s what this was. Kara loved, Lena regretted, and it was over. It couldn’t not be. Kara wasn’t cruel, Kara wasn’t going to keep Lena around if she knew that she wasn’t wanted, Kara wasn’t going to hurt someone out of sparing their feelings
Thirty six hours goes by and then there’s a knock on the door, reminding Kara that a world outside of her mind does in fact exist.
She’s expecting Alex, knowing that the minute she got off work she’d be coming over to drag Kara into the shower and force her to return to civilized society even if it meant nothing more than Kara paying the pizza guy when he arrived. She’s expecting her sister, so she’s more than confused when Lena Luthor’s on the other end of the door.
Kara goes straight to shut it in her face, when Lena sticks her hand out in the doorway. Kara’s not looking to cost Lena a few of her fingers, but she’ll do it if she has to. She wants to be left alone, and alone doesn’t translate to Lena at the front door wanting to make small talk.
“Look,” Kara sighs. “I get it, okay? We’re done, we’re over, I’ll send you your stuff in the mail, can you please just leave me alone now? I’d rather…not have to look at you.”
Lena shakes her head, squaring back her shoulders like this is taking all of the courage and dignity she’s still got in her to say this. “Kara, I’m sorry, I am so unbelievably sorry, I didn’t mean for it to–”
“–for it to sound like it did, but it did, Lena, it did, and you can’t take it back, you can’t, so can you please just go?”
“You and I are not some error, okay? God, Kara, you are the farthest thing from a mistake in my life. The mistake was me ever making you feel like you were a mistake to me, the mistake? The mistake was letting you walk out of there.”
“So what does that make this, then?” Kara asks, gesturing out towards Lena and then back to herself. “A complete omission?”
“Something you have to give me time with,” Lena says, pleads even, as she reaches for Kara’s hand. “I am used to being alone, I’m not used to feeling wanted or anything and you have to understand when you…when you say stuff like that, I panic because I’m not used to someone saying that to me and then meaning it.”
Kara’s eyebrows furrow. “That I love you?” Lena just nods, and Kara feels her heart plummet straight to her knees. “Lena…”
“Don’t give me the..the puppy dog eyes, don’t act like this is news and you need to pity me,” Lena quickly says, shaking her head. “It’s new to me, okay? Surely you’re not surprised by that. Look around, Kara; look at my family and how well the public took to me after my family.”
“You are not your family,” Kara whispers fiercely, her eyes beginning to sting again because this, this wasn’t what she was expecting and it’s not a solution but it’s a start. Lena’s fiddling with her hands now, taking great interest in her fingers as she talks and it’s plain as day that her vulnerability is seeping through without her having any rein on it.
“That doesn’t mean that I don’t know how it feels to be one of them. When you…when you said, that, it…I don’t know, Kara. I don’t know. I want to believe it, I do, but it’s going to take time. The instinct is to act like it’s a mistake because it always has been when someone said it to me, that doesn’t magically go away even when I have met someone who makes me feel the way you do. Someone who I want to love, who I want to love me back.”
Kara’s insides are on fire, she’s validated in her feelings even if Lena’s not sure of it and she moves closer even though her brain and her body and her aching heart are telling her maybe it’s not the best idea thirty-six hours fresh into what she swore was the end all be all.“I love you. Even if you think I’m making a mistake when I say it, even though it’s not. I love you, Lena; I love you, I love you.”
Kara’s nods, both hands resting on Lena’s face, because while everything’s still floating around them in the water waiting to be dealt with, there’s just some things she’s never been more sure of in her life and this, this she couldn’t be more crystal clear about.