DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DEALS WITH MY OWN BODY INSECURITIES ABOUT WEIGHT AND HOW I LOOK. IF YOU ARE A LARGER PERSON YOU ARE STILL FAB. I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW ABOUT MUSCLES AND STUFF
I was well and truly prepared to hate these photos. And when I first took them, I looked at them and thought ‘oh god.’ But the more I cropped them and picked out the pictures that weren’t fuzzy or badly lit or whatever, the more I realised.
I’m not as overweight as I think I am.
Sure, I have big legs with cellulite and bruises, but goddamn look at them. That’s not fat. And yeah, I have some flab under my arms, but underneath that arm flab, I have muscles I never really realised I had. I mean, they’re not super defined or the most toned muscles. They’re not super big muscles. But they’re there.
And my tummy! The biggest of my insecurities. It’s a little bit chubby. But whenever I look in the mirror, I keep thinking I look pregnant. Looking at these pictures has made me realised that I don’t. Alright, I’ve cheated a little with my running pants, because they don’t muffin top my stomach like my normal jeans and jeggins do, but still.
I feel slim. Not perfect, but not too far off. And I’m damn proud of my thighs, oh lord. I still have work to do. I want to skim off the fat on my tummy, arms, and the little bit left on my thighs so my muscles can actually start showing through properly.
I’ve been worrying because I lost about half a stone and then put it all back on again. I thought it was purely down to my bad eating habits (which I’m now changing), but it’s not. I’ve gained some muscle weight too.
I feel really…content with my body right now. Probably for the first time in my life.
Roll on next month!