i actually made this for casey

Manchester By the Sea is incredible in the most understated way possible. It seems like it should be this extremely dramatic over-acted film, and instead it just felt like invading someone’s actual life. I didn’t actually spend any of it laughing or crying, just feeling. I was brought back to my own memories of that kind of overwhelming grief that’s awkward and you have no idea how to even deal with it. Casey Affleck says a million words without speaking. There is such an understanding of real grief and it made the whole film so cathartic. It cut like a knife and was a relief at the same time. 

Let's Talk, CW.

I can’t even express how pissed I am that they skipped Kevin and Joaquin’s entire relationship development, went straight to telling us they’re boyfriends (Not even BY either of them - FUCKING ARCHIE SAID IT, and WAYYY TO CASUALLY) and then made it out to seem like the whole relationship was a con???
Like can we maybe focus a little less on Hermione and Fred’s relationship (I’m not sure if I COULD care less) and a little more on actually BUILDING a relationship between Kev and Joaquin. If you’re going to tear them apart, at least make sure there’s something to destroy!

anonymous asked:

good blackhawks moments this season-- when vinnie(??) fought ryan nugent hopkins(????), when ryan hartman made casey cizikas mad but just backed away smiling instead of fighting him, when pkane's visor got caught on bread's when they were cellying, when they stared each other down before cellying, hossa's 500th goal(!!!), panik's filthy goal against the pens, all of the outdoor classic video stuff (before the actual game bc that was. less fun) i didnt mean to write this much god i love them

All of these are really really great moments

Originally posted by hockeyeurs

I literally spent the whole morning taking care of my tipsy coworker and his very very drunk friend (it was his birthday and they pulled an alcohol fueled all nighter) and honestly if it were anyone else I would have been so annoyed but his friend was just a big helpless baby who was really sweet and lost his shoes and just wanted tatertots (we serve breakfast for volunteers and there were tots this morning) and anyway I got coffee and water for his friend and made sure he was hydrated and he was like “I love you!!! you’re such a good friend. Casey she’s so great I love her you’re so lucky you work with her” and Casey was like “yeah! I’m actually planning on taking her on a date soon” and his friend was like “it better be somewhere NICE. she DESERVES IT. you’d better treat he WELL”

2

Imagine – Sam and Dean helping you with your depression

Word Count – 6,916 (I’m so sorry, but wanted to make sure this was actually good. I hope it was worth the long read lol)

Pairing – Sam and Dean x Reader

Triggers – Depression, Suicide attempt, Alcoholism, Death of a family caused by demon, Cutting

A/N – I really want to get the special ending to Babysitting JJ with Jensen done but things have happened and I’ve been really either busy or to sad to write. It always helps to write out my feelings in a way like this so wanted to get this out of the way then try to write the special ending so sorry on the wait. Thank you to anyone who understands, and hope this fic helps you out.

-

One of your worst fears has always been getting possessed, or hurting someone who didn’t deserve it emotionally or physically. Maybe it was because that’s all your parents did at home was hurt you, or the bullies all through your years at school. You just couldn’t stand hurting people, not one bit.

Of course they both had to happen at the same time.

You woke up after being hit in the head while walking down an alley at the bar to get fresh air away from the smell of beer and smoke. You couldn’t tell where you were at all. It was dark, and cold. When you tried to yell for help you realized the sounds didn’t echo as it should’ve. Then when you tried to move your hand away from the knife on the table it wouldn’t move.

Your body was trapped and taken over, you were possessed.

You looked up and noticed Crowley sitting in front of “you”. The view of him made your stomach turn with disgust and anger. After all he did to Dean, all he did to Sam and Cas. You hated that man with a passion.

“You go out there, and you kill those Winchester boys. You kill anyone who gets in your way, or tries to stop you. They need to be gone and actually STAY dead this time. Do you hear me, Casey? Dead!”

“Yes, your master.”

“Good, that’s why I have you dressed in y/n’s meat suit. They’ll never see it coming.”

They finished the conversation with a hand shake. She walked over to the table and grabbed a few knives, and other things to kill your family with. You yelled for her to stop what seemed like a million times but all she did was laugh.

You were terrified.

-

You watched as the demon possessing your body kicked down the wooden door to someone’s house. It was a pretty big, clean and organized house. Filled with tons of happy photos of the family everywhere you looked. She walked up and placed her fingertips on one of the pictures. It was a man, his wife, a little girl who looked about 8 and a boy who looked around 10 along with a golden retriever smiling next to them.

Next thing you knew there was the same dog growling behind you. You turned around and gave it a mean stare, noticing it looked terrified and ran down to the other room. You smiled evily and walked slowly up the stairs. You slowly opened up one of the bedroom doors and noticed it was the parents. They were cuddling in bed fast asleep, probably because it was 3 AM.

“What the hell? Who are you! Get out of our house!” The man yelled, holding up his shotgun in defense.

“Honey, that is only gonna hurt the person inside me, but me? It’ll just feel like a few bumps.”

“I ain’t scared to shoot!”

He shot a few bullets into your chest and stomach. Casey or whatever her name was wasn’t wrong, it hurt like a bitch.

Him and his wife backed up with their hands up in defense.

“Who are you?! The wife cried

“I’m your worst nightmare.”

In a blink they were already both on the floor, getting torn apart by Crowley’s “Hellhounds”. You cried and screamed as you watched both of their lives get torn away. What will their kids do? Who will take care of the dog? What about the rest of their family.

“2 down, 2 to go.” She smiled.

“No! Don’t – please don’t hurt the children…please… this is enough.” You sniffled, but she didn’t care.

She walked in and noticed both of them shaking underneath their blankets along with quiet sobs from the little girl and the boy telling hushing her softly, telling her it’ll be okay.

It reminded you of Dean and Sam. This must’ve been how they were when they were younger. Sam panicking, wondering where his daddy was and why he wasn’t coming home while Dean tried to calm him down as he shook in fear against him.

“Don’t you fucking touch them!”

You watched as more hellhounds came in and blood flung all over the walls, the windows, blankets and covered the toys. You felt your heart break into a million pieces and your whole world far apart a long with theirs. You wanted to be in their spot. You wanted them to have a happy living life while you got torn apart and killed instead.

Casey walked out of the house with the biggest smile on her face, along with blood covering her hands and all over her clothes. She got back in your car and looked in the review mirror, eyes pitch black.

“Why are you doing this?!”

“Cause it’s fun! Don’t worry, the worst is yet to come.”

-

You pulled into your usual parking spot, turning off the car and getting out quickly. You tried all you could to make your legs stop moving, along with your hands knowing what was about to come. But of course as expected, she was stronger than you.

She knocked on the door loudly, hopping everyone would still be awake. You knew right away they would know it wasn’t you because you never knocked, especially to your own home. After a few minutes Dean opened the door with tired eyes and messy hair.

“y/n? It’s 4 AM. Where have you been and why did you knock? This is your home, remember.” You always knew he had a smart part in his head, just sometimes it’d be filled with sarcasm in the wrong time

“Uh, door was locked and I was out at the bar.”

“It wasn’t locked, but whatever. Just – call next time okay? Sammy and I worry about ya.”

You gave him a small nod along with a quiet goodnight then headed to your bedroom to “sleep”. You laid there and fought with yourself all night long.

“Those people are dead cause of you, are you going to really live with that for the rest of your life?”

“What? You’re not going to kill me?”

“Oh no! I want you to live with this, this guilt. I want you to suffer with it till the end of time, that’s why I did it. You don’t deserve happiness, y/n. Let alone comfort. All those failed hunts, people dying cause of you and the Winchesters? Innocent lives gone, cause of you.”

“Shut up.”

“Kill yourself”

“What?! No!”

“Come on y/n. We know you’ve been wanting to since the day your family kicked you out of your house and left you half dead on the streets. Since those kids made fun of you all throughout your school year, not letting you get to enjoy life for a second. Get it over with.”

“But what about Sam and Dean?”

“They don’t need you. They got each other and let’s face it sweetheart, you’re a pain in the ass anyways. You’re in the way of everything! So why not take yourself out?”

“Stop it, that’s not true.”

“Oh isn’t it? You’re such a fucking waste –“

“I said stop!” You yelled with anger.

The sounds of your door slamming open caught you and Casey out of your thoughts, turning your attention to it. It was Sam.

“You’re not y/n.” He grumbled, standing straight with both of his fists clenched with anger in his eyes while Dean stood behind him with rope and a smirk

“What are you talking about? Of course I am, Sam.”

“Y/n doesn’t talk to herself, especially talk to herself into suicide. Tie her, Dean.”

“My pleasure.” He walked up to you and tried his best to tie you up as your body tossed around angrily, biting and scratching him as he tied up your hands and Sam tied your legs together.

“Oh honey, I’ve already been bitten and scratched before, I kind of like it.”

He threw you over his shoulder and walked you into the trap room while Sam locked the cellar door behind you. He sat you down in the wooden chair and tied you up while Sam grabbed the bible and holy water.

“You really can’t do anything to save her, you know that right? She’s already dead inside.” Casey smirked, making the boys even angrier

“Yeah? Well you’re next.” Sam said, opening the book while Dean gave him a small nod, allowing him to go on

He threw the water on you and watched as you groaned and yelled in pain, seeing your flesh burn and turn into patches.

“Besides, not like she’s going to kill herself after this anyways.”

“You shut your fucking mouth.” Dean growled

“Oh! Do you kiss your mother with that foul mouth? Oh that’s right, I guess not. You really don’t know anything about her, do you? You don’t know the scars and burns she causes on herself but blames it on the hunts? The tears she’s shed every night? Your baby girl’s suicidal, Dean. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Especially after this, she’ll be ruined.”

He punched her in the mouth, causing her lip to bleed and bruise up but of course, all she did was smile. Sam gasped and froze until Dean yelled at him and told him to keep reading.

“You must do that a lot, don’t you Dean?”

“I’d never hurt y/n, you son of a bitch.” He screamed in her face, pounding his fist on the wooden chair’s arm rest in anger

“Oh? But you just did. I didn’t feel a bit of that, but she felt it all.”

The room began to shake and the lights started to flicker as Sam kept reading, along with the sounds of your screams and Dean yelling telling Casey to let you go. After what seemed like hours it was over, you were back. Their y/n was back. But not the way she used to be, never again.

Dean cupped your face with his palms as he yelled out your name, trying to wake you up or even see if you were alive. Your head leaned over him as blood fell from your lip. He laid your head on his shoulder as he hugged you tightly while Sam untied you.

“Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead..” his voice broke as he rocked you

“Let’s take her to the couch Dean” Sam reminded him, placing his hand on his shoulder softly.

They carried you to the couch and laid you down gently, trying to not cause you any more pain than you’re already in. Dean paced around the room as Sam held a bag of ice on your head for you, talking to you to see if you’d wake up or notice his voice at all. Both hopping for a miracle, praying nonstop.

“I’m going to rip Crowley apart with my own hands, I swear to god.” Dean said, punching the brick wall after

“We’ll handle him later, now we just need to focus on y/n and make sure she’s not in a coma or anything.”

“Should we … should we ask her about what Casey said? About her wanting to kill herself, her scars and all that? How could we have been so blind…”

Sam sighed and ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head in disappointment.

“We’ll wait a little after she wakes up. We don’t want to scare her to much, I mean she was just possessed.”

Dean nodded and finally sat down, neither of him or his brother getting sleep that night.

-

You sighed when your eyes flickered open, not to mention you had a killer headache along with your whole body feeling like you just got hit by a truck. You looked over and noticed the boys laying in separate chairs fast sleep along with sleeping pills and beer next to both of them.

You had to stop yourself from taking that whole bottle of pills and chugging all that alcohol till it killed you. Not now, you wanted to see the boys first before you did anything. You looked over at the clock and noticed it was 8:15 in the morning, latest you’ve slept in in weeks. Usually you’d be awake at 4, then that’d be it for today but Casey must’ve token a lot out on you for you to sleep in an extra four almost five hours.

The sounds of a sleepy moose caught your attention, making you smile knowing you weren’t alone now with your thoughts. Sam always knew how to keep you happy, at least as much as it was possible for you.

“Hey sunshine, you feeling alright?” He croaked, rubbing his eyes with a smile

“Feel like I’ve been to hell and back”

“Well… you kind of in a way have. I’ll get you some aspirin and water.” He got up and began walking to the kitchen till you reached your hand out and stopped him

“Beer? Please..” You said with puppy eyes, while he gave you them back of course.

“You just woke up from all that hell, you need water.” You sighed and left him off.

Few minutes pass and Dean was up as well. The first thing he did when he woke up and turned around was look to see if you were okay or awake, he was glad to see both.

“Hey sweet pea, you put up a hell of a fight earlier.”

You chuckled and gave him a small nod while he got up and hugged you softly, still trying to be gentle with you and not cause any pain.

“I could say the same for you, thanks for busting my lip open asswipe.” You joked, making him feel bad

“I’m sorry, it’s just Casey said … some stuff that pissed me off and I didn’t think it through. Does it hurt? I’ll pay for anything to fix it ok –“ You cut him off, holding your hand up and shushing him

“It’s cool, Dean. I was joking.”

He smiled and hugged you again, this time a little longer. Sam came in and passed you the meds and water, thanking him after. He knelt down in front of you as Dean sat at the end of the couch by your feet both looking at each other then back at you with concern.

“Do you uh – remember anything?” Sam asked, giving you a sad and worried look.

Your heart broke as you remembered what happened. The images of the parents and the kids bodies getting torn apart flashed in your mind. You remembered the smell of the blood, the sounds of their screams and cries along with yours, and how Casey just stood there and smiled. How could anyone do that? Even a demon?

Sam and Dean must’ve took notice to your mood and put both of their hands on your knees in comfort, letting you know it’s okay.

“I….She…She made me….kill…a family..” You stumbled, taking them both to shock

“How many?” Dean asked

“So many, but this one… this one family, they looked so happy. It was a husband, wife, a little girl and I assume her big brother..”

“The mom and dad were sleeping before she killed them. They looked so peaceful and calm, then she came in and took it away. Then … we went into the kids room and the little girl was hiding underneath her blanket with the brother. The brother … was comforting her as she cried. They reminded me of you guys, how you guys have always looked out for each other now matter how scared you were.”

The boys just sat there and took everything in, both giving you hugs and comforting you as you cried against them, gripping onto both of them more and more as you cried. This was a nightmare, this wasn’t supposed to be happening.

“It’s all my fault, I should’ve … I should’ve stopped her.”

They both pulled away, giving you a look

“No, you couldn’t do anything she was taking over your body y/n. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Sam said

“Yeah but I could’ve talked her out of it, Sam. I gotta go.” You got up to walk away until Dean grabbed your wrist gently trying to make you come back, until he noticed what was on under your sleeves as they rolled up.

Your heart dropped. You couldn’t even bare to look at the boys, your family. You never wanted them to find out, not this way and not now. Maybe when you’ve recovered you’d explain it but not now. Why, why, why.

“What the hell is this?” Dean said with shock, looking at you while you looked down at the ground with shame

“I said what the hell is this, y/n.”

You pulled your arm out of his grip and ran to your room, slamming the door and locking it after. You leaned back against the door and slid down it slowly, covering your mouth with your hands as you sobbed. Why was everything falling apart?

Sam and Dean ran to your door as fast as they could. They both banged, and banged, and banged along with telling you to come out but there was no chance. 10 minutes passed and they finally left you alone.

You looked around the room and remembered your blade you had hid from yourself awhile back to help you stop relapsing. You got up and tore apart your room to find it, then found it taped underneath your bed.

You sat on the floor, threw your jeans off and slid it against your thighs a few times, whispering “why” to yourself as you did as the tears fell and hit the cuts, making them burn even more.

“This is for not stopping Casey for killing those parents.”

“This is for not helping those poor kids”

“This is for letting Sam and Dean down, they don’t need me.”

“This is for not being there for Cas, Kevin or Charlie. I’m an terrible excuse for a friend.”

“This is for being me.”

After that you pulled out a box of whiskey you’ve hid underneath your bed away from the boys and drank till you couldn’t anymore. By the end of the night you were shitfaced drunk, crying into your pillow along with punching and breaking anything you could find.

The sounds of someone knocking got you out of your thoughts, making you groan tiredly.

“Go away” You grumbled into your pillow

“It’s your moose, Sam. Can I come in?” He picked the lock and came in anyways.

You felt the side of your bed dip in as he sat down and rubbed circles on your back as you buried your head in your pillow still not wanting to see his face of disappointment.

“Dean went for a walk, so I wanted to come talk to you alone.”

“Dean’s always fucking walking.” You slurred

Sam sighed and looked around your room, noticing all the whiskey bottles filling the floor and bed.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” You nodded with a chuckle

“You’re going to end up killing yourself if you carry on drinking like this, y/n.”

“Isn’t that the plan?” His heart broke at your words

“No! You’re supposed – supposed to live for me, and Dean! Cas, Charlie, Kevin! You’re family, y/n.”

“I just get in the fucking way. If I take myself out, you and Dean will probably be happier and not have me up your asses. You could move on and do hunts without worrying about me. So why not?”

Sam glared at you as he clenched his jaw. He was more sad then angry, but he was for sure angry. How could someone amazing as you feel this way about herself? They needed you! You were their rock, why couldn’t you see that? If only he could hack into your mind, and show you how wonderful and how much you meant to him and his brother.

“You know, I wish I could make you see how much you mean to all of us.” That’s the last thing he left you with.

-

The more the night went on the more you felt worse. You felt guilty for killing those innocent people, and for hurting Sam and Dean. You didn’t hurt them physically but hell you hurt the emotionally. You felt angry at yourself for everything and anything.

As everyone knows one of the two of your worst fears are hurting people. You couldn’t hurt Sam and Dean anymore if you weren’t here, so this only meant one thing.

You have to run away.

They were pissed at you anyways, so why would they care?

You slowly got up and walked over to your closet to grab your bag you usually take with you if you’re packing away for a few days, but this time it’d be forever. You were still drunk and dizzy which made walking hard, and hard to remember everything you needed. You threw your clothes in, your hairbrush and other hygiene things you need. On your way out of your room with your bag over your shoulder you noticed a picture on your dresser. A picture you took about a few months ago of Sam, Dean and Cas all standing there smiling and laughing along as if they didn’t just killed a monster a few hours before. You remembered that day as if it was yesterday.

-Few months back-

You and the guys finally finished a hunt you were working on for hours. Everyone was happy and relieved for the first time in months and damn it felt good not only for you but to see everyone happy like they deserve.

“I say we get some ice cream sundaes. We deserve it!” Dean smiled, wiping the blood off his face with a towel and changing his shirt in the car while everyone else did too. You passed Cas a spare white buttoned up shirt while he gave you a huge smile and a thank you as you helped him put it on.

“We’re all cleaned up, might as well.” Sam smiled with a happy sigh

“What are ice cream sundaes?”

Dean sighed with a smile as he patted Cas on the shoulder. “Oh buddy, you have no idea what you’re missing out on.”

You all sat down in the booth. Sam and Dean sat next to each other (of course) while you sat next to Cas. You all ordered your sundaes and ate away with smiles never leaving. Once Cas took a bite of his he looked at you all with a amazement while you all stared at him with smiles, waiting to see his reaction.

“This is …. Amazing. So much going on, I can’t even explain.”

“Do you love it more than burgers though?” You smiled while Sam and Dean gasped

“Oh no…no..no. I love burgers very much.”

You all finished your desert with happy conversations. Not a case was mentioned, not a worry if there was a demon or vamp around, nothing. It felt like you actually lived normal lives for once. Dean was even to caught up talking to you guys and enjoying the moment to much he forgot to ask the pretty waitress for her number.

You all stepped outside and rode home. The Impala was filled with the sounds of you, Sam and Dean singing classic rock loudly while Cas sat and wondered what the hell was going on. The windows were down, the sun was out, and you guys were happy.

When you finally arrived home you pulled out your phone, knowing if you didn’t capture this moment you’d regret it later. Thankfully you did, not knowing what was yet to come.

“What are you doing?! Don’t take pictures of me I’m not hot like Paris Hilton yet!” Dean laughed smiling for the camera anyways while Sam and Cas did too while laughing at Dean’s comment.

You kept that picture and printed it out then put it in a frame. The picture never left the top of your dresser. Not even when you were mad at them or having a fit, that picture would still be there not moving an inch.

-

You rubbed your thumb over the picture and watched as a stray tear hit and ran down the glass. You caught your sobs and placed the picture back down.

“I can’t take this with me.. If I do, I might come back..” You thought to yourself, wiping your face and closing your bedroom door softly.

You walked down the hall and noticed Sam and Dean were no where to be found in the bunker, which meant they had to be in their rooms or away on a hunt for some reason at 3 AM. You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of paper then wrote down your goodbye, not taking to much time in it just in case one of them decide to wake up early or come home.

“Dear Sam and Dean,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, but that won’t be happening anymore. Tell Cas I’m sorry too. I love you guys, and thanks for making this place home for 7 years. Don’t come looking for me.

-Y/N”

You grabbed your bag and a bottle of whiskey then quietly went out the door.

“Goodbye home.”

-

The second Dean woke up he knew today was going to be dreadful and bad, but he didn’t expect this.

“Sam!” He yelled on top of his lungs, looking at the paper

Sam ran down the hall as fast as he could, thinking he was in danger or something. He pulled out his gun and placed it down when he saw Dean standing in the kitchen with a note in his hands. The first thought that came to his head was you.

“She’s …. She’s gone.” Dean said, passing Sam the note and throwing the wooden chair against the wall, snapping it into pieces while Sam read.

“We gotta find her. I’ll track her phone.”

“No, her phone’s still here. Damn it, God damn it!”

Sam sat and thought then the greatest idea came to him.

“I uh … I have a tracking thing on her car.” He said awkwardly while Dean looked at him with confusion

“What? Like a stalker?!”

“Not stalking …. Concerned.”

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his two fingers in annoyance.

“Well, We’re gonna have to go full stalker on this one, Sammy. Pull it up, and let’s bring her home.”

-

After the boys found out where you were they were on the road right away. Sam had his laptop in his lap as he watched the tracking device go wherever you were. The sound of Sam’s phone ringing made both of them jump while Dean growled and focused back on the road looking everywhere for you.

“Hey Cas” Sam said with a sigh, wishing it was you.

“Hello Sam. How is everyone?”

“Uh not really good right now. Well um long story short but we….don’t know where y/n is.”

“What?!” Cas yelled through the phone.

“Hold on let me talk to him.” Dean said with anger, grabbing Sam’s phone out of his hand.

“Cas! Where the hell have you been?!”

“I have other things to do sometimes Dean. I’m not free for your attention all the time.”

“Did y/n pray to you at all throughout these few days? Tell me!”

“No! No I have not heard any word from her. I’m sorry, Dean.”

He swore under his breath then threw the phone back to Sam. Sam explained that he had to keep track of your car so he had to go, hanging up after. The drive went on for hours, then the car randomly stopped.

“Dean..”

“What?”

“The car stopped, it hasn’t moved for like 40 minutes.”

“What! Why didn’t you tell me!?”

Sam sighed while he punched the wheel, pulling over on the side in the middle of nowhere to get some air and walk around, as he usually does when he’s angry. He got out and slammed the door, making Sam jump as he kept searching up ways to track your car. He heard Dean yelling and cussing the whole time, kicking and punching the car, tree, and the ground. He was furious, mostly with himself.

He leaned against the car and shoved his face in his hands, letting the quiet sobs he’s been holding in for so long come out. He looked up at the sky as his tears fell down his face, not even noticing Sam came out and was sitting behind him.

“Why do I push everyone away?” He said, looking back down at the ground

“You don’t, Dean. You didn’t cause this –“

“Bullshit! I got angry at her once I saw her scars even though I knew! I just .. I just wished Casey was lying, and she actually didn’t hurt herself or feel that way about herself. She’s so amazing, you know? Why do the good people get hurt the worst?”

“I wish I knew, brother.”

“I just want her to come home. I want to make sure she’s okay, Sammy. I want her home and I want us to take care of her. Even if she doesn’t let us at first we’re going to try all we can. I just hope she’s safe..”

After a few more minutes of Dean ranting and Sam listening he heard his laptop beeping from inside the car. They both looked over and noticed the spot was moving again. They both ran in and drove right away, not even giving the car a chance to warm up.

-

You stood on the bridge and looked down at the water. This was it, you were done. This was your last moment alive. Even though it was a pretty scene, your favorite thing to look at was the stars and the moon shining in the water, now it’d be the last view you’d see.

Before you could jump and say goodbye you heard the sounds of an Impala rolling up, fuck. Your heart pounded as the sound got closer, then you saw the lights and heard the tires screech.

“Dean don’t –“ Sam said, trying to stop Dean as he marched angrily at you.

You held your hands up in defense and was ready to jump till he wrapped his arms around your body and hugged you tightly, carrying you off the railing and sitting against the wall of the bridge with you in his arms. He leaned his head against your back as you sat in between his legs not even bothering to fight him off cause how tight he was holding you, there was no point.

Sam ran out of the car and stopped in front of you, kneeling down and placing a stray of your hair behind your ear and kissing your forehead while they both cried of happiness. You felt the back of your shirt soak up as Dean cried, and could see the tears welling up in Sam’s from the moonlight.

“Oh y/n, thank god you’re safe. Thank god we came in time.” Sam said, hugging you again.

“Let’s go home, please.” You said softly.

Home. You were going home.

The drive home was really quiet and awkward. You could cut the tension with a knife. Nobody was angry only at themselves. You kept your eyes on the window next to you but you could feel Sam and Dean giving you small glances from the mirror to make sure you didn’t take any pills in the back or anything.

After 5 hours you finally arrived home. It was around 5 AM now so usually you guys would be heading to bed for two hours but there was no hope for sleep tonight, not after everything.

Dean carried your bag in and helped you put everything away as Sam sat with you on the couch and talked to you about everything.

“I’m glad you didn’t do it, y/n. We need you more than anything. You’re our rock and I’m not sure why you don’t see that.”

“Cause … I always get in the w-“

“No, no. Do not talk like that, okay? Cause none of it is true! I know you think you screw up a lot, I know you feel guilty for killing that family even though it was really Casey doing it but with your body. I know you feel out of place, and like you don’t matter but you truly do! You’re a beautiful individual and we love you very much. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s human. But you shouldn’t let them take over you. You’re you, y/n! You’re an amazing, beautiful, smart, caring girl not to mention you can kick mine and Dean’s ass in a few minutes cause you’re so bad ass” You laughed at that part as he did too.

“Look, none of this is your fault. It’s not because you are weak, it’s not because you are scared it is because you’re hurting. You’ve been dealing with Dean and I for 7 almost 8 years which is a hell of a long time. Maybe after this, when you’re all well and everything we’ll take you out for sundaes again. We can even invite Cas along with us we all know how much he loves those sundaes.”

You sniffled with a smile as Sam wiped your tears away, kissing your cheek after.

“We love you y/n. And we’ll help you fight this battle, just like you help us with ours. Always Keep Fighting for us, please.”

You both hugged for about 5 minutes until you heard Dean clomp his boots against the wooden floor and come back in with a pie in his hands. A piece for you, Sam and him.

“I’ll even let you have the last piece.” He smiled at you.

You finished the night off with catching up on Dexter and drinking beers along with eating pies and ice cream. Sam even tried making homemade sundaes but they weren’t exactly what he expected, which was okay of course.

Dean looked over and noticed the scars on your thighs, and how they looked newer than the others. Once Sam looked over and noticed what he was staring at, he understood.

“y/n? are those … new?” Dean asked while you nodded shamefully.

“Sammy, grab the alcohol and bandages please.” He got up and left straight away, leaving you alone with Dean. You gave him a “I’m sorry” look while he gave you a hug, letting you know he’s not mad.

When Sam came back you laid out on the couch in your underwear, not being the first time you went through this with them being a hunter and all. Sam did the work as Dean held your hand, trying to keep you calm as he knew how much you hated doing this.

“It’s okay y/n. You’re so strong you can do this.” He reminded you, running your hair back and kissing your head as you groaned in pain.

He talked to you about memories to calm you down, even memories that were embarrassing for him but still made you and him laugh, even Sam while he was cleaning you up. You never realized how much you needed these two dorks to keep you sane till now.

After you finished you all decided to go to bed. The boys walked down the hall with you as you all  walked side by side and talked, like usual

“Hey y/n, if you want me or Sammy can stay with ya tonight just to make sure you’re uh .. you know.”

“Dean, I’m okay I promise. Really.” He gave you a small nod while they both hugged you, telling you goodnight.

-

You woke up covered in sweat, tears and the sounds of your screams. The door busted open and slammed against the wall, lights being off all you could see was a shadow figure making you panic more. You screamed and covered your face with your blankets, asking for whatever or whoever it was to go away until you heard a voice you would always remember, Dean’s.

“Y/n?! y/n! It’s me! Hshhhh., it’s okay. I’m right here it’s okay.” He panicked, cupping your face and laying your head on his chest as he held you.

He noticed your breathing starting to settle down and let the tears flow. He didn’t ask what was wrong, or begged you to tell him. He knew you’d tell him when you were ready, and he was willing to help you till you’re there.

“See? You’re safe. I got you, I got you.”

“The nightmares Dean… they’re horrible.”

“I know sweet pea, I know.”

“The kids…the parents… they were in my dream. They were all circling around me and asking why, WHY! I didn’t know how to fucking answer, cause I don’t know why Casey did it! If I knew and if I could give them closure I would, but I can’t Dean. I can’t!”

He let you rant as much as you needed. He let you cry as much as he wanted, not caring if his shirt was going to be soaked after. He knew you needed him, needed him now more than ever and he was going to be here.

“Think about the sundaes we’re going to have once you’re better, darling. Think about the good times. Think about Dexter. What do you think is going to happen next? I’m so excited to find out. Think about that day we went out and got sundaes with Cas and Sammy and how we finished the night playing board games together. We can do that again sometime this week if you want? I kind of miss it even though you always kick my ass in Monopoly. Think about me, think about Sam. Think about how much you mean to us. We love you, so, so much. You have no idea how sane you keep us just by being here. We NEED you!”

He stopped talking to catch some air and looked over and noticed the picture frame sitting on your dresser. He reached over and grabbed it, then laid back down with you in his strong arms. He rubbed his thumb over the picture, just as you did before you left but he was smiling instead.

“You still have this?” You nodded of course

“You didn’t take it with you?”

“No… I couldn’t…”

He noticed your voice get quiet so he stopped and talked happier things, happier thoughts to keep his girl happy.

“We’re gonna be smiling down at this when we’re 70 and in rocking chairs.” You both chuckled as he put it away.

“I cried when we couldn’t find you, y/n. I actually .. cried. I cried in front of Sam and you know how rarely I let people see that side of me. I was so fucking scared. I was so relieved to see you didn’t jump, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you did.”

“I’m glad I didn’t too, Dean, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not gonna leave you, ever. Not when you’re having an episode, not if you’re stressed or in a pissy mood. Family sticks together through the good and bad. Even if we weren’t family I’d still stay, cause I care about you. I’m going to stay with you tonight, so if you need anything I’ll be right here.”

He got up to get his pillow and blanket to lay on the floor with till you stopped him with a sad look he could barley see from the darkness of the room, but he could tell something was wrong.

“Where are you going?”

“I was going to go get my pillow and blanket to sleep on the floor with..” He said with an awkward, shy tone

You patted the spot on your bed next to you and nodded over to him. He looked at you with confusion, wondering why you would ever allow him to sleep in the same bed as you. Most the time if you had to share beds in a motel you’d share with Sam, only because you thought Dean wouldn’t want to.

“Sleep with me, please? I don’t want to be scared anymore. I’m so tired of being scared.” He didn’t ask twice and laid back down

He wrapped his arms around your waist and laid his head against your back as you smiled against him. You placed your hand on top of his as it rested on your stomach as you laid on your side, making him smirk too. He gripped on tighter and eventually you both fell asleep peacefully for the first time in what seemed like forever.

It was good to be home.

91b�yVG���

2

Ever since ‘The Deadly Venom’ when Karai gave Casey a venomous kiss, I’ve been thinking about how poor Leo probably can’t even kiss his crush without suffering the same fate.

And of course, that made me think of ‘Pushing Daisies’, and how Ned and Chuck found a creative way around their inability to touch each other using plastic wrap.

Hence my messy sketch and lazy coloring job. This was actually my first time drawing this pair, I do adore them. After all the Ramona feels this week, I felt poor Leo needed some love.

Also, if you have never seen Pushing Daisies, I highly recommend it! I still have a crush on Lee Pace’s, Ned the pie maker.

3

tl;dr Hey look it’s (Hard)Case finally, as a cousin to the main 7 bros, and Dogma’s older brother.

RIGHT okay I meant to put my thinking cap on for Hardcase ages ago, but kept forgetting. Shoutout to @nevawaveharp for accidentally reminding me! When I first assembled the main Fett family, I was only vaguely aware of canon regiments and companies and whatnot. I just threw clones in semi-randomly based on things I recalled offhand from my first watchthrough of the first season or two. Actually, it was the “research” that I then did for this AU that made me better at being able to tell apart and keep track of clones in the show, so eventually I noticed that I missed Hardcase. I mean, I’ve missed a lot, but Hardcase routinely interacted with many of the clones I grabbed for bros.

I was stuck for a while on where to stick him. Stupidly, it was mostly because of his name. I’ve let weird things like “Dogma” slip by, but “Hardcase” is just… it doesn’t sound like a reasonable legal name at all to me. But I don’t want to overuse the “they just go by a weird nickname” thing, so I thought maybe he should be a pet? (Tangent: While Fives is stubborn to the point of possibly legally changing his name, Echo actually mostly just uses ‘Echo’ with family and older friends. When he’s an adult, colleagues and newer friends use his legal name.) But then my brain finally switched on and I was like “Wait… I have a dude friend named Casey. I bet just Case is a name, too.” And it is. But still, where to stick him?

I toyed with retconning myself and making him a bro between Echo and Tup, but I just like the dynamic I have set up for the 7 too much. I poked around Wookiepedia for inspiration, and his helmet designs made me think of freckles. Freckles! I gave Dogma freckles! BAM, bros. Especially once I started imagining how hilarious it would be watching them interact. So yeah. Case and Dogma, the freckle-y cousins.

On an unrelated note, teen Kix tho *^*

I AM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS! Omg you have no idea how long it took me to work on this, three days! Why? Work, then the background wasn’t working because I tried to draw one myself but that just made everything real slow for some reason and fucked everything up. So i just used an image of NYC from google. But yeah enjoy a Casey and April riding away from some Purple Dragons or something. 

This was actually based on a scene in the TMNT Mutant Nightmare 3 opening, seriously why does no one talk about that more?

4

What’s in my pencilcase?
School still hasn’t started for me yet, and I’m kind of half dreading/half excited for it… the only definite good thing is that I can buy school supplies! After lugging around a really big, really full pencil case last year that made things difficult to find, I decided this year I’d just carry stuff that I would actually use. I also tried to pick things that weren’t super expensive. 

Lihit Lab Teffa Pen Case
I really like this case so far. It’s not a really large case, but I still managed to fit everything I needed in it. It seems pretty durable and it’s very lightweight. The price is really good as well. At first the mesh pockets seemed a little tight but now they’ve loosened up. Last year I had a problem with the zippers on my other case falling off, this one has two zippers and they both look pretty strong. 

InkJoy Ballpoints
I love these pens. So much. I’m not a big fan of gel ink ballpoints, but these are really smooth and write beautifully. I only have four in this picture but they come in a variety of nice bright colors. Seriously, the smoothest ballpoints you’ll find around. Don’t let them near your significant other. 

BIC Mechanical Pencils
Where would I be without these? Pencil sharpeners are my mortal enemy, so. Bought these in a bulk pack at Costco, so no link. I carry multiple as people always want to borrow them and they’re not easily refilled. Getting more of these is always better. Trust me.

Zebra Mildliner Highlighters
Yeah, they’re the new studyblr fad, but these highlighters live up to the hype! I have the pastel pack now. They don’t smudge the pen ink I write with after it’s dry, and the dual tips are really nice. Definitely recommend. 

Uni-Ball Deluxe Micro Ballpoints
I got a three-pack of these, I’m keeping two in my pencil case and the other with my journal. The tip is very thin, ink flow is smooth, and the ink itself is a really dark black, and very liquid. The only problem I have with these is that they need a soft writing surface (they write well on moleskine paper) in order to not skip. Sometimes I just stack several sheets to fix the problem. 

Fiskars Softgrip 5in Scissors 
These are probably the best small scissors ever. They’re tiny, wicked sharp, and can cut through anything– even fabric– amazingly. Seriously, get a pair even if you don’t keep them in your pencil case. I love these. 

Swingline Tot Stapler
This stapler was pretty cheap and I’ve never had any problems with it. It can’t staple a ton of sheets together, but it’s strong for it’s size. Comes with lots of extra staples as well. 

Post-it Page Markers (Writeable)
I use these for bookmarking and journaling. I’m only carrying five with me, but the linked pack has 10 different colors. 

Not listed
A black Sharpie, an 03 (0.35mm) Sakura Micron waterproof inking pen, some refill nibs for my drawing tablet pen, hairbands, Burt’s Bees peppermint lip balm (It’s a lifesaver. Ask any of my friends. It is always with me.) the refill staples that came with my stapler, a pair of tweezers from CVS, a roll of plain clear scotch tape, and a DnD d20 (there’s a story behind this, but that’s for some other day), one pad of purple post-its (I carry the other colors in my backpack but I usually only use one at a time). 

So, I hope this post was helpful! I might get some more supplies to add in here before school starts including an eraser and an xacto knife. If you have questions about what I have, send me an ask! 

10

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3, Episode 5:

4,722 Hours


“You’d be so proud of me, Fitz. I killed the monster plant. Then I made a fire, cooked him and ate him. And then I burped. Really loud. I wish you could have been here. Actually, no I don’t. I don’t wish that to anyone. ” 

2

Photograph: Sarah Lee for the Guardian
Stuart Jeffries
Tuesday 15 March 2016 14.05 EDT Last modified on Tuesday 15 March 2016 18.00 EDT

Andrew Lincoln: ‘I’m employed to go on a zombie frenzy killing spree"

Once the loveable loser Egg in 90s drama This Life, Andrew Lincoln has found global fame as The Walking Dead’s chief zombie-slayer. So how did the affable Englishman get the part? Maybe it’s down to his death stare.

Andrew Lincoln is eyeing me narrowly. I know that look. It’s the one he has been using for the past six years in the hit US post-apocalyptic TV drama The Walking Dead, before upping the body count. His character, Georgia sheriff Rick Grimes, has macheted, axed, gunned and spiked at least 150 zombies and quite a few humans since the show’s premiere in 2010.

In Britain, Lincoln may still be best known for his performance 20 years ago as lovable loser Edgar “Egg” Cook on BBC2’s then hipster drama This Life, about five twentysomethings trying to cut it in the legal profession. Stateside, though, he is renowned as the go-to guy to take out the undead trash – 14.6 million Americans watched the season six premiere last month. He is the Englishman who slayed America.

So, why the zombie death stare? It’s because I ask him about politics, a subject that sends him scampering off in the opposite direction, as if pursued by an implacable, if slow-moving zombie horde. Interviewing celebrities is often like this.

But surely The Walking Dead is richly allegorical, I suggest. The refugee crisis, resentment over immigration, Islamophobia, distrust of government – all have their onscreen parallels in the show that has made Lincoln globally famous. And Trump’s foreign-policy platform – building a wall to keep out Mexicans and refusing Muslims entry to the US – finds its parallel in The Walking Dead, in which humans build walls to keep out the undead? “I’d rather not be drawn into saying something about Donald Trump,” he says. Disappointing.

In any case, Lincoln argues, The Walking Dead is bigger than mere presidential elections. “In western culture, we have ignored death. We’re running the other way – everything is about life and youth. So, there’s something resonant about walking around with our own death masks. Zombies are the visible embodiment of death staring at us with our own faces.”

True, those death masks are made to order in a studio in California and shipped in their thousands to the set in Georgia each season to be worn by heavily madeup extras, but let’s not spoil the story.

“We’ve got an opportunity in this crazy-ass world we’ve invented – which is obviously very cool ass, bad ass, thrilling exciting, bloody, gory, scary and action-packed – to say something about what it is to be human. It’s about the undead, but it’s also about what it is to be alive.”


Asses notwithstanding, Lincoln speaks in a posh English accent, which is discombobulating, because for eight months of the year, during filming of The Walking Dead, he speaks in an American Southern accent on-set, off-set and at home in Atlanta, Georgia. Maybe his pillow talk is that of a Southern gent – he won’t let on.

“My wife and children think I’m bananas. They’re like: ‘Please stop doing that.’ It’s very unsettling for them because they don’t know who they’re talking to.” Don’t his kids speak American at school in Atlanta? “No, they’re Brits, because they like the cachet of it. As soon as they start to get a bit of an American twang, we pull them out and then we put them back in over here.”

When he flies home to Wiltshire each year, though, he undergoes a transformation akin to what happens when a murdered human regenerates as a zombie: Andrew Lincoln becomes Andrew Clutterbuck.

Born to a South African nurse and a English civil engineer in 1973, young Andrew was told to ditch Clutterbuck by his first agent, because it made him sound like a hobbit. Advice that, given the Postlethwaites, Cumberbatches, Spalls and Broadbents who bespangle the Brit thesp firmament, seems dubious. But still, he tells me, the identity change is useful for him to guard his privacy. Even his credit card reads Clutterbuck.

Twenty years ago, only one year out of Rada, Lincoln was made when he got his big break on This Life. “There are certain roles in my career that make you scream out loud,” he says. “That was the first without a doubt.”

On one of the first days of filming, he was required to come out of a shower and get it on with his screen wife, Milly (Amita Dhiri). “I was really committed and everybody was really in the zone. But the shower was cold. And I was doing it wrong.

“The director came up to me after the first take very respectfully and said: ‘It’s like you’re in Ballet Rambert trying to dance to get the towel. Can you just get out of the shower normally?’” The scene impressed his mates, but for the wrong reasons: “A buddy in Bath texted me and said: ‘Just watched the episode with you and Amita. That’s one of the best lesbian shower scenes I have had the privilege of witnessing.’”

Did he like Egg? For all that the character fails as lawyer and cafe owner (and supports Manchester United)? “I love him! He was a sweet-natured guy and he spoke to a lot of people who had come out of university and were stuck in a rut and were re-evaluating what they wanted to do and believed in.”

According to Lincoln, when the actors hung out together off-set, they couldn’t quite forget the roles they were playing: “We used to socialise a lot, as we were filming as a gang. Everybody would come up to me at nightclubs because they liked Egg and they hated Jack [Davenport, who played Miles, the posh twerp with a calamitous sex life]. They thought he was a dick. Jack was like: ‘What’s going on? I’m really a nice guy.’”

The 2007 This Life reunion show, in which Egg became, to my mind, an unacceptably successful and smug novelist, bombed. (“Maybe it would have been better to leave Anna, Egg, Miles, Milly and Warren in their graves,” wrote the Guardian’s Sam Wollaston at the time.) “I don’t necessarily read critiques and I don’t judge that as a reason not to see it,” he says. “I mean, it was very nice to see everybody, but I’m not sure we’ll be doing it again.”

Nonetheless, the series gave Lincoln’s career a massive boost. “It gave us leverage and notoriety and access to meetings. It also gave me two years’ experience in front of camera after three years’ theatre training. It made me understand why there are so many people on set, looking at you and touching you.” Touching you? “People are always invading your personal space on set, especially on The Walking Dead.” They’re forever smearing him with zombie viscera, he explains.

I glance sidelong at this London-born, Bath-raised, Rada-trained actor, looking fruitlessly for the ghost of Edgar “Egg” Cook. How did this genial 42-year-old, who today looks good carrying off designer stubble and even a mini-mullet without it going early Michael Bolton, get to be the face of one of the millennium’s most successful US dramas?

Until 2010, after all, his CV was crammed with unremittingly British stuff – not just This Life, but probationary teacher Simon Casey in C4’s 00s dramedy Teachers, and turns in Britflicks such as Richard Curtis’s Love Actually and Made in Dagenham. How did his career switch so dramatically? Lincoln says he was lucky enough to look haggard after the recent birth of his second kid when he auditioned for the role of Rick Grimes. “I hadn’t slept for three days, and I was shell shocked. I had this apocalyptic chic that probably fitted the bill. I looked like I’d survived a zombie apocalypse.”

Frank [Darabont, show creator and director of The Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile] wanted the Gary Cooper of High Noon, a classical leading man, very moral, almost gentle and quiet. But he also wanted a family man, so the perfect storm of meeting someone who had just had his second child was really appealing to him.”

When he got the part, Lincoln signed away a chunk of his life. “You have to sign a standard Hollywood contract of five or six years. Generally, a show doesn’t go past one season, so it is a matter of hedging your bets. But we [he and his wife Gael Anderson, daughter of Jethro Tull frontman Ian Anderson] did have that conversation while our child was screaming during a night feed, and decided to risk it.”

“I’ve always wanted to work in America because of those brilliant east-coast political movies of the 70s and 80s – great scripts, wonderful performances, gritty urban parable.” He cites Serpico, The Conversation, The French Connection and the Godfather trilogy. “Whenever I’m losing faith in the planet I’ll get a box set out and watch those.”

It was one of his co-stars on This Life who lured him over to give it a go. “Jack was one of the main instruments in making me go to America. He said: ‘Come over here. The water’s warm.’”


As a result, Lincoln has become part of a successful British invasion of American TV, joining Matthew Rhys (The Americans), Dominic West and Idris Elba (The Wire), Ruth Wilson (The Affair), Michael Sheen (Masters of Sex), Martin Freeman (Fargo), Damian Lewis (Homeland), not to mention Lennie James and David Morrissey, his fellow Brits on The Walking Dead.

None of his compatriots, though, manage to go quite as nuts on screen as Lincoln. In a recent episode, Grimes – understandably vexed after his girlfriend and her son are eaten by zombies, and his son has his eye put out in a shooting accident – picks up an axe to vent his spleen on the milling zombie hordes. Does he really go nuts or is the scene so choreographed that he has to be controlled? “Oh, I’m going nuts. Don’t worry about that. I’m employed to go into a zombie frenzy killing spree. That’s what I do.

“It is choreographed, of course, because otherwise we would have a lot of insurance problems. We’re very fortunate that we have a lot of committed, hardcore stunt zombies.”

But what does Lincoln know? He has never seen the show. “I haven’t watched myself for 15 years, because I don’t enjoy it. There’s a lot of working parts that can change your performance in between you giving it and it going out. I just realised I’d prefer to have my own imagination about what the story is.”

If he had seen the results of his work, he might share the worries of some critics. Rick Grimes, they fear, has become less Gary Cooper and more a tooled-up nutjob devoid of a moral compass – perhaps even the show’s villain – rumoured on fan sites to be facing termination. Lincoln won’t comment on whether Grimes is going to be written out, but in any event he is now plotting his exit strategy from the show. Like anyone spearheading a lucrative franchise – think Craig as Bond, Spacey as President Underwood, Clarkson on Top Gear — he risks getting typecast and becoming frustrated.

“The fun of my job is I get to dress up for a living and play different people,” he says. That dream has been thwarted because of commitments to the show. “The window of opportunity is so small. I was going to do a play and it would have meant me getting off a plane from America and going straight to rehearsals, doing the play, getting back on plane and going straight back to America. I couldn’t do that. My No 1 responsibility when I’m not slaying zombies is being a parent.

What does his wife do while he is taking out the zombie trash? “Everything. She’s the reason I’m able to do this mad job. She has built a life in Atlanta while I’m away filming. I don’t have a smartphone or apps or anything and people ask me why. I say: ‘My wife is my app.’ She’s magnificent. She’s in the most honourable profession in the world – she’s a full-time mum.” He glances at the female PR across the room for approbation and says unexpectedly: “Fight the power!” Quite so, although if I compared my wife to an app, I’d be sleeping on the sofa tonight.

Lincoln doesn’t do social media either. To keep the madding crowds of fans at bay? “I’ve got nothing to say and I’m just too busy. But I don’t get it – people taking photos of their own food? That’s very odd behaviour.” The PR woman gently objects that she does just that. “Oh God! That’s why I’m not on social media – straight away you’ve isolated half the world!”

Does Andrew Lincoln have what it takes to survive a zombie apocalypse? I get the zombie death stare for one last time, before he cracks a smile. “I think my wife is the one who would get me through, probably. If I did survive, it would only be due to her incredible dexterity in all things.” Onscreen, Andrew Lincoln may be a buff, zombie-slaying post-apocalyptic survivor; offscreen, he’s as helpless as a kitten up a tree.

[Sports Night/Check Please, G] The Off-Season Request

I’m placing this in a world were these two worlds happen at the same time because if I were aging all of Sports Night up, they’d probably not work at Sports Night.

“Hey Dana, I’ve got Falconer PR on the phone, they want to set up an interview for Jack Zimmerman tomorrow.” Natalie holds out her headset as Dana passes by.

“On the phone?”

“No in person.”

“I meant, they called? Not an email?”

“It’s a phone call.”

Dana takes the headset, “I wasn’t aware that people still made phone calls for interview requests. Yes, this is Dana – yes..”

There’s little noise from Dana as she’s railroaded by a faster talking PR rep acting like all she’s doing is making a routine phone call. That’s not what the rep sounded like, and really who can remember all their names, but her voice was as thin and fake as cotton candy, a bit of deceptive fluff.

“Exclusive?” Dana finally says, “What kind of exclus– yes, we’ll take it, but what…we’ll see. Yes. Of course. Thank you.”  Dana blinks for a moment, then hands back the headset. “Okay, Natalie, we need to free up five minutes in tomorrow’s show.”

“Five minutes?” Natalie repeats.

“Five minutes. And prep for an in-person interview.” Dana starts walking towards the bullpen.

“Five minutes? Who do we have five minutes with?” Natalie falls in step, “I mean it matters. Because the Falconers, good team, but it’s the off-season. They aren’t news.”

“I think that we cover a lot of a lot of things while they are in their off-season, and if a major sports outlet asks for five minutes with the term exclusive we are not in a position to say no. Can you pull Casey and Dan out of their office?”

The request is cryptic and strange,  and a phone call. A real life phone call and not one of the dozen emails Dana gets asking for time to try to rehabilitate the image of a player who is “young” and “made a terrible mistake” and is “fundamentally a good boy”,  but there’s no recent scandals on the Falconers. Nothing that needs a media blitz.

“Who are we making time for?” Casey asks as he and Dan settle into the room. Jeremy follows

“Why are we caring about hockey in June? Isn’t June the opposite of hockey season? There isn’t snow, the players haven’t been carved out of ice yet.” Dan asked.

“I don’t think they actually do that.” Natalie says.

“Zimmerman.”

“Jack Zimmerman?” Casey says, jaw dropping just a little bit, “He who answered a question about boxer or briefs with, and I quote, ‘I just want to play hockey’. That Jack Zimmerman wants five minutes.”

“Yes. With us.”

“From the Falconers?”

“Do you know another Jack Zimmerman?”

“What the hell does Jack Zimmerman want to talk to us about for five minutes?”

“The burdens of a sports legacy?” Dan answers.

“Recovering from addiction and managing anxiety within professional sports?” Jeremy offers.

“A round table discussion on college athletics as a training ground for professional players?” 

“Jack Zimmerman could offer us five minutes to discuss his senior capstone paper on the Franco-Prussian War and we would air it just for the sheer novelty of getting Zimmerman to say something off-script.” Dana interrupts, “Dan, Casey — figure out how you want to prepare for this, and Natalie —get more details from their PR for guidelines. Let’s fit it into the first half.”

***

<photo of moving boxes, labeled kitchen>  Moving into our new digs in Providence!

@omgcheckplease

<photo of Jack and Bitty putting away dishes> I’m proud and honored to be the face of @youcanplay, and to share my home with the man I love.

@jackplayshockey

***

“So…” Dan says.

“So…” Casey says.

“What were you going to ask questions about?”

“What was I going to ask questions about?”

“Yeah, for the Zimmerman interview. I was thinking we could start with the Franco-Prussian War and then move to getting the real dirt on that boxers or briefs questions.”

“Or we could ask him about his boyfriend.” Casey offers.

“Otto Von Bismarck was an interesting guy

“Dan.”

“Bismarck was an interesting guy.” Dan explains, “I’m sure he has opinions.

“Why don’t we end with that.”

“I figured we could end with boxer or briefs.”

“Or we could ask about his boyfriend.”

“We should probably focus on that.”

“Hockey news in the off-season.” Casey says, “What is the world coming to?”

Okay so i was thinking of some headcnons wchich lead me to this drunk alec rap:

i’m di hardy
i solved the sandbrook case
i love ellie miller
who’s my ds

but then i felt more creative and started making up these poems??? (and @whatisthepointofyouhardy​ made me post it) so here they are:

i’m staring at the horizon
thinking your husband’s a killer
but now i can admit
that i love you miller 

————————————–

everything’s now over
we’re getting drunk at pub
oh just look at us
former detectives club

—————————————–

it’s just how i look
why does it even bother you
you think i own one shirt
but i actually own two

——————————————–
Miller you’re my sunshine
so i’m writing you this ballad
go on a date with me
we’ll eat a healthy salad

—————————————–

i want to tell you something
but does it need saying
shit, it’s the wrong show
i fucked up everything

—————————————–

i’m gonna call them scruffy poems because i can

The Five Times I Knew That Matthew Casey Would Be a Perfect Dad

The Five Times I Knew That Matthew Casey Would Be a Perfect Dad

Hey guys! How ya holding up after that episode? I figured emotions would be running high after tonight’s Chicago Fire season finale, so why not add a little something to the mix? There’s no new promo to post, but I still wanted to treat you guys, so I figured I’d try something new with this. The focus on this will be on one particular character. Yup, this is the post that I’ve been waiting three seasons to write and I’ve finally decided to give it a go.

Lieutenant Matthew Casey is many things. He’s strong. Confident. Bold. Generous. Compassionate. A leader. He’d also be a pretty outstanding father. Hear me out. I will admit, I am quite biased on this one, my Daddy Casey feels have been off the charts since the pilot, but I’ll get to that soon. Promise.

Follow me on this little journey as I describe the five (but actually SO many more than five I apologize) times that proved for me that Daddy Casey would be so beyond incredible. Are you ready? Here we go. Oh yeah, one more thing. Check out the Daddy Casey inspired playlist I made for you guys. As always, happy listening! ;)

Now let’s get started.

5. The Very Beginning

The pilot. I watched as the brightness in his big blue eyes as he greeted Hallie soon dulled, the childlike giddiness no longer found there as his mouth opened ever so slightly. Perhaps it was in the very small shift of his weight as his body leaned from the heaviness of the conversation, the familiar words weighing him down. Maybe it was how his lips set in contemplation before the words tumbled out of his mouth. He would marry her tomorrow if he knew they wanted the same things. The slight tremble in his voice for a mere half second, when she said she couldn’t start a family, gave him away. The bow of his head, the sadness, regret, and exhaustion written all over his face when he finally picked it back up. It was then, as I watched him let the girl he was supposed to marry, who he supposedly loved, walk right out his front door without even a word that I knew. When he quickly swallowed back his emotion as the door clicked in place I knew.

4. Adventures in Uncle Casey

I watched as the calm, cool, and collected Matthew Casey came apart at the seams when he realized his niece was in trouble. How a man who usually drips of confidence turned into the awkward uncle who was desperately trying to be ‘hip.’ I watched as he consciously tried to reign himself in, not wanting to be too overprotective, but still reminding her that he would always be there for her. It was in the way he leaned up against the ambo, head slightly tilted and signature Matthew Casey smile plastered on his face as he asked her what she was watching on her phone. It was in the way you could actually see that he was interested in her reply. I saw it in the way his body tensed when he heard the sadness in her voice and how he moved to sit next to her, pulling her into his side. How his thumb gently traced the outline of her shoulder, a means of soothing her, as he whispered reassurances that it wasn’t her fault, that he would fix it, that he would make it right. When he went to her house later that night and he went to tuck her in, it was in the way I could see perfectly a future moment when he would be tucking in his own little girl. It was in the way he kissed her goodnight and shut the light and l knew I wasn’t alone in my vision.

3. Little Baby Grace

Maybe it was in the way he slightly jogged behind Dawson after she said she found a baby in the freezing cold, or how he watched adoringly as Mills checked her out and made sure she was okay. Maybe it was in the way he went to update Dawson on the status of DCFS and his initial thought was to check on Grace and see how she was. Maybe it was in the way his eyes would steal quick glances at the little baby girl in Dawson’s arms as he continued to bring her up to speed. The lingering eyes had me sold, but it wasn’t until he stood there, eyes observing the little girl, soaking her in, and his smirk made its way to his face that I knew. His eyes had a different light to them. They shone just a little bit brighter. They always do when he’s in the presence of little ones, and believe me, I’ve noticed. It was in the small giggle that escaped his lips when Dawson placed Grace in his arms, how he instinctively shifted to make sure he was holding her the proper way, and how he couldn’t help but smile down at her every single time she made a noise. It was in the way that his face said everything he didn’t, how I could see from his expression that he saw his future in her tiny button nose and her cute little hands. I knew.

2. The Darden Boys

It was in his selflessness. In the way he agreed to be the guardian of two young boys who needed him, never turning his back on them for a single second, even when he wasn’t sure how to make it work. The subtle gestures screamed the loudest. Like how he gently lifted Ben off the floor after he had dropped a beer bottle in the kitchen, moving the boy so that he wouldn’t step on the broken glass and hurt himself. It was in the way he noticed that Griffin had barely eaten his dinner, and the concern that laced his words was not lost on me. Perhaps it was the way he dropped to his knees whenever he was talking to Ben so that he could look into his eyes, or how he told them that they couldn’t go home because their mother was in jail, but never let them think for a second that they couldn’t handle it. He made them strong. When he sat, sandwiched between the two boys on the bed that same night, it was in the naturalness of it, how the scene looked the way home feels. It was in the way he would rub small circles on Ben’s back as he cried, pulling him into his side, and gently placing a small kiss to the top of his head. It was how even when he was busy comforting Ben, he was reaching out to Griffin as well, both literally and metaphorically. It was in the way he turned his body towards the older brother of the little boy whimpering in his lap, letting him know that he wasn’t alone. The way his hand extended to rub those very same circles on Griffin, the gentle reassuring pats, that’s when I knew. But really, it was in the way he would rest his chin on the top of their heads while he was comforting them. How he noticed that Ben was outgrowing his shoes and how he tucked in his shirt to make sure he looked presentable for his mom. How he told Griffin to be careful on the monkey bars. It was in the way they would play board games, boyish giggles escaping their lips and a giddiness in all three of them. It was in living room football games and laughter and family fun. It was in the sound of his voice when he told Griffin to keep being brave and reassured both boys that he wasn’t going anywhere. It was in the reprimanding and the scolding. How he sat with one boy on each side of him and ate ice cream like they were their own little family. In so many ways they were. Then, of course, there were the big moments. The moments that I really knew. Like how he didn’t miss a beat when Griffin asked him to stay with him until he fell asleep. How his eyes smiled way before his lips as he tucked the boy in and grabbed his hand, not bothering to let go. Like how there was pride written all over his face when Griffin asked him if he could come back to the firehouse, like he had finally done something right. In the moment when he took Griffin to the see his father’s badge and told him that it was okay to cry there because he had, holding him as he cried, his head resting lightly on top of the boy’s and inhaling slowly I knew. It was in the .5 seconds it took for Casey to respond ‘yeah’ to the question if he was a father. It was in the badges, both Andy’s and his own, that he placed in Griffin’s hand, and in the proud grin that danced across his face as the boy jumped into his arms. It was in the slight pause he took before fully embracing the boy and bringing his lips down to place a small kiss on his head like he had done countless times before. It was in that habit. It was in the hesitance of accepting Ben’s G.I Joe, and the thick emotion that echoed through his words when he said he would never forget them. Not a chance. It was how he gently pulled both boys into his arms, his hands automatically going to rub their backs like he had become accustomed to. It was in that habit. As he placed one last kiss on Griffin’s head, it was in the way he lifted his own head, looking far away into the distance, a mixture of sadness and happiness and pride and adoration all rolled into one expression that I knew.

1. Extra Special Delivery 

It wasn’t quite in the fearlessness that he exhibited as he tirelessly worked to get the victim out of the car. Nor was it in his eyes, wide with fear, that darted towards the woman as soon as the husband informed him that she was having a baby. It wasn’t how he backed away in shock for only a beat before calling out orders to his men, or the way his voice hitched when he called through the radio for Shay and Dawson, nervously gasping for breath as he told them the circumstances. It wasn’t in the astonishment in his voice that I heard come through the radio when he said he could see the top of the baby’s head, how his voice sounded like fear and bliss and genuine awe all rolled into one. And it wasn’t in the way he eagerly rid himself of his helmet and turnout gear, his body taking control, as if on instinct, and leading the way. It wasn’t in the way he coached the woman as she pushed, encouraging her, nor the actual delivery of the baby or the way his voice sounded, frantic and panicked, when he told Dawson on the radio that the baby wasn’t breathing. No, it wasn’t in any of that. It was in the way he breathed his own life into the little boy, swaddling him in his turnout gear and passing him on to his mother. It was in the way he sat back, stunned and overwhelmed, and how I have yet to see his eyes shine quite that bright. It was in his expression as the camera zoomed in on him, eyes looking on in disbelief, mouth slightly open in a smile, that I knew. As he started to laugh, a real, genuine laugh and I swore I could see those beautiful blue eyes getting misty that I knew. It was in the way he animatedly relayed the story back to Hallie, his eyes now shining with something else: optimism and hope. I knew. It was in the slight hitch of his voice when he said the little guy was alive, his hands coming to his head. I knew. It was in the small tears that formed in the corner of his eyes as he said that he was a part of that, and the excitement in his body language as he told Hallie he wanted them to have a baby. Soon. Now. The silent pleas. I knew. It was in his arched brows and the pain in his face when she responded by saying she didn’t want kids, as if her words had stung him. It was in the way his body slumped against his table, his head bowed and his breathing steady, as he took in the severity of her words. It was then that I knew. Oh god, I knew.

Make sure you listen to the Daddy Casey playlist here

Huge credit to fyeahchicagofire for the gorgeous gif and images. 

anonymous asked:

I'm curious what Karlie is trying to do honestly. Trying to stay relevant in the worls of Kendall and Gigi? Signing with SB , Fallon, the power couple angle ? She can't compete with them and I don't mean in talent, and if she's pushing koding, it's only interesting to a certain small group who is not watching Fallon probably. She's definitely working to raise her profile or celebrity, I just don't get why and honestly I liked her better before, seemed more genuine, she was Karlie not klossy TM

Same here, buddy. Personally I feel like since leaving VS, which was a big crutch for her honestly, she’s tried to distance and prop herself on something else that was more “her” (and that wasn’t just being part of Taylor’s #SQUAD). It started with the Klossy channel and eventually just snowballed into a complete rebrand even with the cookies and her coding scholarship. Like I understand why she’s doing it but I agree with what you’re saying that it takes away from her being genuine. Not gonna lie, I miss knowing and seeing ‘Karlie Kloss’ instead of Klossy™.

She’s playing on an elevated field now and being around fellow models like Kendall/Gigi with their SM savvy or Cara/Rosie HW with acting, who are more cohesive with their brand image, is definitely a factor for the change. And signing with Scooter in general to maintain and expand her commercial exposure. But like she’s trying to cater to being known for so many things it comes off as choppy and skewed? There’s a divide with her trying to balance: food (baking), health (work outs/dance), tech, philanthropy, & fashion all at once. The Zoolander 2 cameo, the constant DM hounding, her Snapchat, even that thing with the WSJ & Space X and now the Fallon appearance, is an effect of the rebrand and lord knows what Scooter is going to get her into next. They’re totally banking on the fact of her hardcore fans + the swifties/kaylor friendship shippers being there though so  👀 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

you’re pretty good with your hands - luke hemmings au

summary: hockey captain luke needs a little help from his dorm mate after a rough training session (this is kind of an adaption and extension of this drabble i wrote the other day).


Luke was not the kind of guy Casey had expected to end up living with at college.

First of all, she’d thought the people who organised the on campus accommodation would have made her share a dorm room with a girl. Second of all Luke seemed like the kind of guy who should be living in a frat house - you know the type, insanely good looking, sports fanatic, captain of the college hockey team.

Yet despite all that the two of them actually managed to get along quite well. Despite the fact that he looked like your typical frat boy Luke was actually really sweet and he always helped out around the place. He respected her space and things, and most of all he respected her which was pretty much all she could ask for in a dorm mate.

He knew not to bother Casey when she were studying for an exam and she knew not to ask him about his games unless he was the one to bring them up. The two of them had somehow settled into a comfortable state of co-dependence.

One day when Luke came home from practice - his hair damp and mussed up from his helmet, his skates dangling over his shoulder, and his stick poking out from under his arm - Casey couldn’t help but notice the way he winced whenever he moved. She knew the rule but seeing him in physical pain actually made her uncomfortable so she waited until he’d dumped his stuff in his room and started running a bath before approaching him.

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“I walked past a pet shop this afternoon on my way back from the park and there was this really cute kitten in there. It made me want a cat, but I work what like a hundred hours a week if you include working at home, which is normally what i’m doing when I’m there but not getting my two hours of sleep a night, so I don’t think it’s the best idea. You should get the kitty! Then I can come see it, but I don’t have to actually look after it.” Casey suggested to the other, putting the finishing touches to an e-mail on her iphone before sending it with a whooshing noise and looking up again. “Good idea right? It was cute, this little black fluffy thing. You could call it Casey.”