i actually made this for casey

Longest Night

-

Here’s a little something I made for a couple of art contests in two Night In The Woods discord servers (actually won one, ain’t that amazing?). Wanted to also make this to remember Casey; I waited to share until today because today’s when he went missing according to the posters (June 27th). 

Happy Casey Day <3

Manchester By the Sea is incredible in the most understated way possible. It seems like it should be this extremely dramatic over-acted film, and instead it just felt like invading someone’s actual life. I didn’t actually spend any of it laughing or crying, just feeling. I was brought back to my own memories of that kind of overwhelming grief that’s awkward and you have no idea how to even deal with it. Casey Affleck says a million words without speaking. There is such an understanding of real grief and it made the whole film so cathartic. It cut like a knife and was a relief at the same time. 

3

┐(´∀`)┌  Heh.


More College!AU (made by the awesome @cryssalia )with some more uh… Casey and Scriggins.

Since I had the headcanon that Casey’s Minor is Linguistics (and my voicecanon for him is actually Jonas Erik Altberg), I have him speaking Swedish… Also I had a friend from Sweden who didn’t like IKEA so… I made that to be Casey too lmao. 

Let's Talk, CW.

I can’t even express how pissed I am that they skipped Kevin and Joaquin’s entire relationship development, went straight to telling us they’re boyfriends (Not even BY either of them - FUCKING ARCHIE SAID IT, and WAYYY TO CASUALLY) and then made it out to seem like the whole relationship was a con???
Like can we maybe focus a little less on Hermione and Fred’s relationship (I’m not sure if I COULD care less) and a little more on actually BUILDING a relationship between Kev and Joaquin. If you’re going to tear them apart, at least make sure there’s something to destroy!

"Red Like Roses" Remix
"Red Like Roses" Remix

My “Red Like Roses” remix, made on FL Studio 11 with no samples.

I usually keep my Tumblr and music seperate but the rapper I made this for actually quit making music between asking for a beat and me finishing this.

I’ve been sitting on it for months debating what to do with it and my brother telling me I need to do something with it prompted me to put it on here.

I can’t wait to be able to put my fashion and textile qualifications in to good use again, in the new house I will actually have room for all my supplies 😍 I already have ideas about making casey some adapted clothing for when he gets his peg! A colourful bumper for his cot, some new dresses or altering charity shop finds… I’ve not made my own clothes in 7 years 😱😱 I’ve just not had the space!
Time to get some hobbies back 💜 I’m getting back into gardening slowly, sad I know but it’s relaxing 😊 I have my lifting, occasional cycling and running, I’m thinking of taking up some more fitness things but that’s eventually… When I have a little more time! Feeling good about the future atm, nobody burst my bubble thanks 😘

reasons why greek was the best show on abc family ever ever ever

  • strong female friendships. i mean, this makes the show a winner already. casey and ashleigh, casey and rebecca… strong female friendships are so important to me man. their friendships were never ruined over stupid things, or over guys. sO GOOD
  • strong friendships in general. greek is a show that puts friendship over relationships and promoting positive platonic friendship is something i can’t ever get enough of because good friendships are incredible things to have and you don’t see that enough in media.
  • calvin, and heath’s sexuality never defined them - they were just normal college guys, looking for relationships too. heath and calvin were kissing at frat parties without a care in the world and i love that. i love that they had LGBT characters who were never defined by their sexuality. they were people above all else - treated the same as all the straight characters.
  • they promoted positive sexual health and positive sex in general - katherine wanted advice on what kind of birth control to be on, rusty realised that he couldn’t be the one to take katherine’s virginity just because she wanted to loose it before law school (i don’t think sex and love come hand in hand don’t get me wrong but i do buy into the idea that your first time should probably be with someone you trust and katherine and rusty barely knew each other) sex was never a shameful thing for girls to be having (OK there was some issues and name-calling but for the most part girls having sex was GOOD and not a problem and girls can be sexual beings too yay)
  • rebecca realising that she deserved better than the way evan was treating her and ending the relationship despite how much she cared for him because she knew it was important to be in a relationship where both parties love equally
  • couples realising they have issues and need to work them out before they can actually be together (cough evan and rebecca cough)
  • calling out shitty behaviour even though its being done by your brothers (the whole calvin vs tripp thing)
  • it was funny and witty and made me laugh way too much
  • actual decent storylines
  • college is fuckin scary man and leaving it will probably be scarier and they didn’t shy away from that (cappie’s storyline basically) 
  • they didn’t magically get jobs and happy after they graduated (final season was in 2011 in the middle of a severe recession and they didn’t shy away from that fact either)
  • can we talk about casey and cappies love story for a second - “its a fairytale” “no other girl in the world compares to you” i mean come on they were such an incredible relationship and they felt almost real because they had issues and problems they couldn’t work through for a really long time
  • they (eventually) dealt with a love triangle far better than any other show i’ve watched to be honest (evan/casey/cappie)

so ok the show had its problems and it wasn’t perfect but it was a really damn good show and it has so many positive things and positive atributes and it was definitely the best show on ABC family they will never top it ever again bye

To the rescue

I hope I stuck close to what you requested! Had to give Leo a little love in there to! Hope you don’t mind anon :) -the reader is caseys teenage sister that gets kidnapped by bebop and rocksteady, and the turtles swing in to help- 

 This was the third time this week that they’ve kidnapped you and you couldn’t tell if they were getting good at it or you were just getting to tired to run.
 They seemed to think that you knew who they were talking about when they interrogated you about these ‘turtles’ probably some whacky friends of Casey you thought. It’s not like Casey introduced you to his friends often, they were probably pretty boring.

 “So guys what’s it this week? Tie me up and send a video to my brother? Hang me from my ankles until I say uncle?” 

“Duh we’re gonna get some information out of ya! Gotta look good in front of tha boss eh Rocky?”

 “Ya bad the big boss is here today, gotta do some digging!”

 “You guys actually have a boss? Your not just nuts that kidnap little girls?” 

Sighing, how was Casey going to get you out of this one. Normally him and April could out smart these two but something told you that these guys boss meant serious business. They also referred to him as the shredder which made you just a wee bit shaky since he sounded menacing. You were 17 after all, not to much had gone on in your life besides the normal teen dilemmas, you kept meaning to take those self defense classes but between these two and school you really didn’t have much free time on your hands. Watching the oafs leave the room you started to struggle against the ropes that held your hands behind you, the tough rope cutting into your skin as you pulled.

 Suddenly a loud bang came echoing through the building, shouts of your punk captors roared just outside the door. Wincing at the noise you began to shout out whatever came to mind to make sure you were noticed,

 “HEY! IN HERE I’M IN HERE! HELP!” 

What seemed like forever was probably just two minutes as the door burst open as your saviors strolled in, least to say they were not what you were expecting. Four tall and bulky boys…turtles? Crashed into the room, on clad in blue with katana’s slung across his back, another clad in red with sai’s set on his hips, the third in orange swinging nun-chucks around the air and the last with a big stick at his side. You’d gotten used to bebop and rock steady so these four weren’t the worst thing you’d seen, after all you were a New Yorker and the subway at night was a little more terrifying then these guys.
Then again you didn’t want to stick around to see the shredder either so you’d take what you could get. The blue turtle was the first to approach you as the purple one got on the phone appearing to be letting the person on the other end know you were okay.

 “My names Leonardo, you must be y/n Jones. We’re here to help you, are you hurt?”

 “No…I’m pretty good, my wrists hurt but they’ll heal within the month. I’m assuming you guys are the ones they call the turtles?”

 “You’d be right y/n, we best be going, don’t want anymore run ins”

 Nodding in agreement Leo suddenly swept you off your feet and raced out of the building, a red heat spread across your face as you grinned like an idiot. Not that getting rescued by your brother was bad but you could certainly get used to Leonardo coming to your rescue…

Originally posted by pizzaplanet666

Originally posted by jaguna

today i made pearl’s shirt! Just have to add the star.

The way i made this is actually really weird, because I don’t like things being tight around my neck the collar only goes halfway around the shirt. If I tuck it under the collar of my jacket it looks totally normal, but if I take the jacket off the collar flops over the front of the shirt😅

anonymous asked:

for the summer prompt thing, can i see some capritello?? please and thank you! <3

(a/n) of course! totes was not listening to Lust for Life while writing this by the way

The beach was an awful nice place to go to for a picnic or something really cute like that. Casey sees that sort of stuff in movies on the boxy television they stole, and wonders if it’s as wonderful as the lighting and the laughing made it all out to be. But then the boxy television died and life got, like, way too busy and so left the dream of sand and salty water and laughing and food shared and obnoxiously mushy, lovely things.

But it didn’t really leave Casey, because somewhere in the back of his mind, and deep in his heart, he imagines that place; April, Donnie and him. He never says a thing about it in their travels between stars, but thinks once or twice and lets his mind wander there for several glorious seconds. And then there’s the stress lines in Don’s face and the way April’s always got a blaster nearby that makes Casey think they’re a little overdue for a vacation that didn’t involve their profession. It’d involve, instead, a beach, some hot sand and good food and the distinct taste of strawberries on swollen lips.

“Like…on Earth? A beach on Earth?” Donnie says after Casey brings it up during one of their many sleepless nights, staring through the glass at the constellations.

And Casey shrugs, fingers running loosely through April’s hair, “I dunno. Somewhere nice though. Like uh…“ he thinks back to the swaying ships on Telurus and smiles, “I dunno wherever- long as it’s quiet…far enough away from everything .”

That gets Donnie sitting up, partially, lips parting into a small, soft, tired kind of grin, “Wow, you’re really serious about this aren’t you, Jones…?”

Donnie studies the quiet look Casey gets- always gets- when he’s actually not joking and everything is almost raw and real; Casey was always real, but he also made good habit out of hiding with his emotions well. And Donnie’s just a little bit amazed every time they slip out in those natural, easy ways.

“Uh…yeah?” Casey smiles back, shrugging again, “Why not, ya know?”

So they gather up whatever’s stashed away from their last job, and April handles the booking affairs quite nicely.

The island is off in the distance, on a planet filled with sand, and saltwater- sun and food (that none of them cooked but thanks Mikey) and, of course, the taste of strawberries and foreign drinks on each other’s lips.

2

Imagine – Sam and Dean helping you with your depression

Word Count – 6,916 (I’m so sorry, but wanted to make sure this was actually good. I hope it was worth the long read lol)

Pairing – Sam and Dean x Reader

Triggers – Depression, Suicide attempt, Alcoholism, Death of a family caused by demon, Cutting

A/N – I really want to get the special ending to Babysitting JJ with Jensen done but things have happened and I’ve been really either busy or to sad to write. It always helps to write out my feelings in a way like this so wanted to get this out of the way then try to write the special ending so sorry on the wait. Thank you to anyone who understands, and hope this fic helps you out.

-

One of your worst fears has always been getting possessed, or hurting someone who didn’t deserve it emotionally or physically. Maybe it was because that’s all your parents did at home was hurt you, or the bullies all through your years at school. You just couldn’t stand hurting people, not one bit.

Of course they both had to happen at the same time.

You woke up after being hit in the head while walking down an alley at the bar to get fresh air away from the smell of beer and smoke. You couldn’t tell where you were at all. It was dark, and cold. When you tried to yell for help you realized the sounds didn’t echo as it should’ve. Then when you tried to move your hand away from the knife on the table it wouldn’t move.

Your body was trapped and taken over, you were possessed.

You looked up and noticed Crowley sitting in front of “you”. The view of him made your stomach turn with disgust and anger. After all he did to Dean, all he did to Sam and Cas. You hated that man with a passion.

“You go out there, and you kill those Winchester boys. You kill anyone who gets in your way, or tries to stop you. They need to be gone and actually STAY dead this time. Do you hear me, Casey? Dead!”

“Yes, your master.”

“Good, that’s why I have you dressed in y/n’s meat suit. They’ll never see it coming.”

They finished the conversation with a hand shake. She walked over to the table and grabbed a few knives, and other things to kill your family with. You yelled for her to stop what seemed like a million times but all she did was laugh.

You were terrified.

-

You watched as the demon possessing your body kicked down the wooden door to someone’s house. It was a pretty big, clean and organized house. Filled with tons of happy photos of the family everywhere you looked. She walked up and placed her fingertips on one of the pictures. It was a man, his wife, a little girl who looked about 8 and a boy who looked around 10 along with a golden retriever smiling next to them.

Next thing you knew there was the same dog growling behind you. You turned around and gave it a mean stare, noticing it looked terrified and ran down to the other room. You smiled evily and walked slowly up the stairs. You slowly opened up one of the bedroom doors and noticed it was the parents. They were cuddling in bed fast asleep, probably because it was 3 AM.

“What the hell? Who are you! Get out of our house!” The man yelled, holding up his shotgun in defense.

“Honey, that is only gonna hurt the person inside me, but me? It’ll just feel like a few bumps.”

“I ain’t scared to shoot!”

He shot a few bullets into your chest and stomach. Casey or whatever her name was wasn’t wrong, it hurt like a bitch.

Him and his wife backed up with their hands up in defense.

“Who are you?! The wife cried

“I’m your worst nightmare.”

In a blink they were already both on the floor, getting torn apart by Crowley’s “Hellhounds”. You cried and screamed as you watched both of their lives get torn away. What will their kids do? Who will take care of the dog? What about the rest of their family.

“2 down, 2 to go.” She smiled.

“No! Don’t – please don’t hurt the children…please… this is enough.” You sniffled, but she didn’t care.

She walked in and noticed both of them shaking underneath their blankets along with quiet sobs from the little girl and the boy telling hushing her softly, telling her it’ll be okay.

It reminded you of Dean and Sam. This must’ve been how they were when they were younger. Sam panicking, wondering where his daddy was and why he wasn’t coming home while Dean tried to calm him down as he shook in fear against him.

“Don’t you fucking touch them!”

You watched as more hellhounds came in and blood flung all over the walls, the windows, blankets and covered the toys. You felt your heart break into a million pieces and your whole world far apart a long with theirs. You wanted to be in their spot. You wanted them to have a happy living life while you got torn apart and killed instead.

Casey walked out of the house with the biggest smile on her face, along with blood covering her hands and all over her clothes. She got back in your car and looked in the review mirror, eyes pitch black.

“Why are you doing this?!”

“Cause it’s fun! Don’t worry, the worst is yet to come.”

-

You pulled into your usual parking spot, turning off the car and getting out quickly. You tried all you could to make your legs stop moving, along with your hands knowing what was about to come. But of course as expected, she was stronger than you.

She knocked on the door loudly, hopping everyone would still be awake. You knew right away they would know it wasn’t you because you never knocked, especially to your own home. After a few minutes Dean opened the door with tired eyes and messy hair.

“y/n? It’s 4 AM. Where have you been and why did you knock? This is your home, remember.” You always knew he had a smart part in his head, just sometimes it’d be filled with sarcasm in the wrong time

“Uh, door was locked and I was out at the bar.”

“It wasn’t locked, but whatever. Just – call next time okay? Sammy and I worry about ya.”

You gave him a small nod along with a quiet goodnight then headed to your bedroom to “sleep”. You laid there and fought with yourself all night long.

“Those people are dead cause of you, are you going to really live with that for the rest of your life?”

“What? You’re not going to kill me?”

“Oh no! I want you to live with this, this guilt. I want you to suffer with it till the end of time, that’s why I did it. You don’t deserve happiness, y/n. Let alone comfort. All those failed hunts, people dying cause of you and the Winchesters? Innocent lives gone, cause of you.”

“Shut up.”

“Kill yourself”

“What?! No!”

“Come on y/n. We know you’ve been wanting to since the day your family kicked you out of your house and left you half dead on the streets. Since those kids made fun of you all throughout your school year, not letting you get to enjoy life for a second. Get it over with.”

“But what about Sam and Dean?”

“They don’t need you. They got each other and let’s face it sweetheart, you’re a pain in the ass anyways. You’re in the way of everything! So why not take yourself out?”

“Stop it, that’s not true.”

“Oh isn’t it? You’re such a fucking waste –“

“I said stop!” You yelled with anger.

The sounds of your door slamming open caught you and Casey out of your thoughts, turning your attention to it. It was Sam.

“You’re not y/n.” He grumbled, standing straight with both of his fists clenched with anger in his eyes while Dean stood behind him with rope and a smirk

“What are you talking about? Of course I am, Sam.”

“Y/n doesn’t talk to herself, especially talk to herself into suicide. Tie her, Dean.”

“My pleasure.” He walked up to you and tried his best to tie you up as your body tossed around angrily, biting and scratching him as he tied up your hands and Sam tied your legs together.

“Oh honey, I’ve already been bitten and scratched before, I kind of like it.”

He threw you over his shoulder and walked you into the trap room while Sam locked the cellar door behind you. He sat you down in the wooden chair and tied you up while Sam grabbed the bible and holy water.

“You really can’t do anything to save her, you know that right? She’s already dead inside.” Casey smirked, making the boys even angrier

“Yeah? Well you’re next.” Sam said, opening the book while Dean gave him a small nod, allowing him to go on

He threw the water on you and watched as you groaned and yelled in pain, seeing your flesh burn and turn into patches.

“Besides, not like she’s going to kill herself after this anyways.”

“You shut your fucking mouth.” Dean growled

“Oh! Do you kiss your mother with that foul mouth? Oh that’s right, I guess not. You really don’t know anything about her, do you? You don’t know the scars and burns she causes on herself but blames it on the hunts? The tears she’s shed every night? Your baby girl’s suicidal, Dean. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Especially after this, she’ll be ruined.”

He punched her in the mouth, causing her lip to bleed and bruise up but of course, all she did was smile. Sam gasped and froze until Dean yelled at him and told him to keep reading.

“You must do that a lot, don’t you Dean?”

“I’d never hurt y/n, you son of a bitch.” He screamed in her face, pounding his fist on the wooden chair’s arm rest in anger

“Oh? But you just did. I didn’t feel a bit of that, but she felt it all.”

The room began to shake and the lights started to flicker as Sam kept reading, along with the sounds of your screams and Dean yelling telling Casey to let you go. After what seemed like hours it was over, you were back. Their y/n was back. But not the way she used to be, never again.

Dean cupped your face with his palms as he yelled out your name, trying to wake you up or even see if you were alive. Your head leaned over him as blood fell from your lip. He laid your head on his shoulder as he hugged you tightly while Sam untied you.

“Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead..” his voice broke as he rocked you

“Let’s take her to the couch Dean” Sam reminded him, placing his hand on his shoulder softly.

They carried you to the couch and laid you down gently, trying to not cause you any more pain than you’re already in. Dean paced around the room as Sam held a bag of ice on your head for you, talking to you to see if you’d wake up or notice his voice at all. Both hopping for a miracle, praying nonstop.

“I’m going to rip Crowley apart with my own hands, I swear to god.” Dean said, punching the brick wall after

“We’ll handle him later, now we just need to focus on y/n and make sure she’s not in a coma or anything.”

“Should we … should we ask her about what Casey said? About her wanting to kill herself, her scars and all that? How could we have been so blind…”

Sam sighed and ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head in disappointment.

“We’ll wait a little after she wakes up. We don’t want to scare her to much, I mean she was just possessed.”

Dean nodded and finally sat down, neither of him or his brother getting sleep that night.

-

You sighed when your eyes flickered open, not to mention you had a killer headache along with your whole body feeling like you just got hit by a truck. You looked over and noticed the boys laying in separate chairs fast sleep along with sleeping pills and beer next to both of them.

You had to stop yourself from taking that whole bottle of pills and chugging all that alcohol till it killed you. Not now, you wanted to see the boys first before you did anything. You looked over at the clock and noticed it was 8:15 in the morning, latest you’ve slept in in weeks. Usually you’d be awake at 4, then that’d be it for today but Casey must’ve token a lot out on you for you to sleep in an extra four almost five hours.

The sounds of a sleepy moose caught your attention, making you smile knowing you weren’t alone now with your thoughts. Sam always knew how to keep you happy, at least as much as it was possible for you.

“Hey sunshine, you feeling alright?” He croaked, rubbing his eyes with a smile

“Feel like I’ve been to hell and back”

“Well… you kind of in a way have. I’ll get you some aspirin and water.” He got up and began walking to the kitchen till you reached your hand out and stopped him

“Beer? Please..” You said with puppy eyes, while he gave you them back of course.

“You just woke up from all that hell, you need water.” You sighed and left him off.

Few minutes pass and Dean was up as well. The first thing he did when he woke up and turned around was look to see if you were okay or awake, he was glad to see both.

“Hey sweet pea, you put up a hell of a fight earlier.”

You chuckled and gave him a small nod while he got up and hugged you softly, still trying to be gentle with you and not cause any pain.

“I could say the same for you, thanks for busting my lip open asswipe.” You joked, making him feel bad

“I’m sorry, it’s just Casey said … some stuff that pissed me off and I didn’t think it through. Does it hurt? I’ll pay for anything to fix it ok –“ You cut him off, holding your hand up and shushing him

“It’s cool, Dean. I was joking.”

He smiled and hugged you again, this time a little longer. Sam came in and passed you the meds and water, thanking him after. He knelt down in front of you as Dean sat at the end of the couch by your feet both looking at each other then back at you with concern.

“Do you uh – remember anything?” Sam asked, giving you a sad and worried look.

Your heart broke as you remembered what happened. The images of the parents and the kids bodies getting torn apart flashed in your mind. You remembered the smell of the blood, the sounds of their screams and cries along with yours, and how Casey just stood there and smiled. How could anyone do that? Even a demon?

Sam and Dean must’ve took notice to your mood and put both of their hands on your knees in comfort, letting you know it’s okay.

“I….She…She made me….kill…a family..” You stumbled, taking them both to shock

“How many?” Dean asked

“So many, but this one… this one family, they looked so happy. It was a husband, wife, a little girl and I assume her big brother..”

“The mom and dad were sleeping before she killed them. They looked so peaceful and calm, then she came in and took it away. Then … we went into the kids room and the little girl was hiding underneath her blanket with the brother. The brother … was comforting her as she cried. They reminded me of you guys, how you guys have always looked out for each other now matter how scared you were.”

The boys just sat there and took everything in, both giving you hugs and comforting you as you cried against them, gripping onto both of them more and more as you cried. This was a nightmare, this wasn’t supposed to be happening.

“It’s all my fault, I should’ve … I should’ve stopped her.”

They both pulled away, giving you a look

“No, you couldn’t do anything she was taking over your body y/n. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Sam said

“Yeah but I could’ve talked her out of it, Sam. I gotta go.” You got up to walk away until Dean grabbed your wrist gently trying to make you come back, until he noticed what was on under your sleeves as they rolled up.

Your heart dropped. You couldn’t even bare to look at the boys, your family. You never wanted them to find out, not this way and not now. Maybe when you’ve recovered you’d explain it but not now. Why, why, why.

“What the hell is this?” Dean said with shock, looking at you while you looked down at the ground with shame

“I said what the hell is this, y/n.”

You pulled your arm out of his grip and ran to your room, slamming the door and locking it after. You leaned back against the door and slid down it slowly, covering your mouth with your hands as you sobbed. Why was everything falling apart?

Sam and Dean ran to your door as fast as they could. They both banged, and banged, and banged along with telling you to come out but there was no chance. 10 minutes passed and they finally left you alone.

You looked around the room and remembered your blade you had hid from yourself awhile back to help you stop relapsing. You got up and tore apart your room to find it, then found it taped underneath your bed.

You sat on the floor, threw your jeans off and slid it against your thighs a few times, whispering “why” to yourself as you did as the tears fell and hit the cuts, making them burn even more.

“This is for not stopping Casey for killing those parents.”

“This is for not helping those poor kids”

“This is for letting Sam and Dean down, they don’t need me.”

“This is for not being there for Cas, Kevin or Charlie. I’m an terrible excuse for a friend.”

“This is for being me.”

After that you pulled out a box of whiskey you’ve hid underneath your bed away from the boys and drank till you couldn’t anymore. By the end of the night you were shitfaced drunk, crying into your pillow along with punching and breaking anything you could find.

The sounds of someone knocking got you out of your thoughts, making you groan tiredly.

“Go away” You grumbled into your pillow

“It’s your moose, Sam. Can I come in?” He picked the lock and came in anyways.

You felt the side of your bed dip in as he sat down and rubbed circles on your back as you buried your head in your pillow still not wanting to see his face of disappointment.

“Dean went for a walk, so I wanted to come talk to you alone.”

“Dean’s always fucking walking.” You slurred

Sam sighed and looked around your room, noticing all the whiskey bottles filling the floor and bed.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” You nodded with a chuckle

“You’re going to end up killing yourself if you carry on drinking like this, y/n.”

“Isn’t that the plan?” His heart broke at your words

“No! You’re supposed – supposed to live for me, and Dean! Cas, Charlie, Kevin! You’re family, y/n.”

“I just get in the fucking way. If I take myself out, you and Dean will probably be happier and not have me up your asses. You could move on and do hunts without worrying about me. So why not?”

Sam glared at you as he clenched his jaw. He was more sad then angry, but he was for sure angry. How could someone amazing as you feel this way about herself? They needed you! You were their rock, why couldn’t you see that? If only he could hack into your mind, and show you how wonderful and how much you meant to him and his brother.

“You know, I wish I could make you see how much you mean to all of us.” That’s the last thing he left you with.

-

The more the night went on the more you felt worse. You felt guilty for killing those innocent people, and for hurting Sam and Dean. You didn’t hurt them physically but hell you hurt the emotionally. You felt angry at yourself for everything and anything.

As everyone knows one of the two of your worst fears are hurting people. You couldn’t hurt Sam and Dean anymore if you weren’t here, so this only meant one thing.

You have to run away.

They were pissed at you anyways, so why would they care?

You slowly got up and walked over to your closet to grab your bag you usually take with you if you’re packing away for a few days, but this time it’d be forever. You were still drunk and dizzy which made walking hard, and hard to remember everything you needed. You threw your clothes in, your hairbrush and other hygiene things you need. On your way out of your room with your bag over your shoulder you noticed a picture on your dresser. A picture you took about a few months ago of Sam, Dean and Cas all standing there smiling and laughing along as if they didn’t just killed a monster a few hours before. You remembered that day as if it was yesterday.

-Few months back-

You and the guys finally finished a hunt you were working on for hours. Everyone was happy and relieved for the first time in months and damn it felt good not only for you but to see everyone happy like they deserve.

“I say we get some ice cream sundaes. We deserve it!” Dean smiled, wiping the blood off his face with a towel and changing his shirt in the car while everyone else did too. You passed Cas a spare white buttoned up shirt while he gave you a huge smile and a thank you as you helped him put it on.

“We’re all cleaned up, might as well.” Sam smiled with a happy sigh

“What are ice cream sundaes?”

Dean sighed with a smile as he patted Cas on the shoulder. “Oh buddy, you have no idea what you’re missing out on.”

You all sat down in the booth. Sam and Dean sat next to each other (of course) while you sat next to Cas. You all ordered your sundaes and ate away with smiles never leaving. Once Cas took a bite of his he looked at you all with a amazement while you all stared at him with smiles, waiting to see his reaction.

“This is …. Amazing. So much going on, I can’t even explain.”

“Do you love it more than burgers though?” You smiled while Sam and Dean gasped

“Oh no…no..no. I love burgers very much.”

You all finished your desert with happy conversations. Not a case was mentioned, not a worry if there was a demon or vamp around, nothing. It felt like you actually lived normal lives for once. Dean was even to caught up talking to you guys and enjoying the moment to much he forgot to ask the pretty waitress for her number.

You all stepped outside and rode home. The Impala was filled with the sounds of you, Sam and Dean singing classic rock loudly while Cas sat and wondered what the hell was going on. The windows were down, the sun was out, and you guys were happy.

When you finally arrived home you pulled out your phone, knowing if you didn’t capture this moment you’d regret it later. Thankfully you did, not knowing what was yet to come.

“What are you doing?! Don’t take pictures of me I’m not hot like Paris Hilton yet!” Dean laughed smiling for the camera anyways while Sam and Cas did too while laughing at Dean’s comment.

You kept that picture and printed it out then put it in a frame. The picture never left the top of your dresser. Not even when you were mad at them or having a fit, that picture would still be there not moving an inch.

-

You rubbed your thumb over the picture and watched as a stray tear hit and ran down the glass. You caught your sobs and placed the picture back down.

“I can’t take this with me.. If I do, I might come back..” You thought to yourself, wiping your face and closing your bedroom door softly.

You walked down the hall and noticed Sam and Dean were no where to be found in the bunker, which meant they had to be in their rooms or away on a hunt for some reason at 3 AM. You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of paper then wrote down your goodbye, not taking to much time in it just in case one of them decide to wake up early or come home.

“Dear Sam and Dean,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, but that won’t be happening anymore. Tell Cas I’m sorry too. I love you guys, and thanks for making this place home for 7 years. Don’t come looking for me.

-Y/N”

You grabbed your bag and a bottle of whiskey then quietly went out the door.

“Goodbye home.”

-

The second Dean woke up he knew today was going to be dreadful and bad, but he didn’t expect this.

“Sam!” He yelled on top of his lungs, looking at the paper

Sam ran down the hall as fast as he could, thinking he was in danger or something. He pulled out his gun and placed it down when he saw Dean standing in the kitchen with a note in his hands. The first thought that came to his head was you.

“She’s …. She’s gone.” Dean said, passing Sam the note and throwing the wooden chair against the wall, snapping it into pieces while Sam read.

“We gotta find her. I’ll track her phone.”

“No, her phone’s still here. Damn it, God damn it!”

Sam sat and thought then the greatest idea came to him.

“I uh … I have a tracking thing on her car.” He said awkwardly while Dean looked at him with confusion

“What? Like a stalker?!”

“Not stalking …. Concerned.”

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his two fingers in annoyance.

“Well, We’re gonna have to go full stalker on this one, Sammy. Pull it up, and let’s bring her home.”

-

After the boys found out where you were they were on the road right away. Sam had his laptop in his lap as he watched the tracking device go wherever you were. The sound of Sam’s phone ringing made both of them jump while Dean growled and focused back on the road looking everywhere for you.

“Hey Cas” Sam said with a sigh, wishing it was you.

“Hello Sam. How is everyone?”

“Uh not really good right now. Well um long story short but we….don’t know where y/n is.”

“What?!” Cas yelled through the phone.

“Hold on let me talk to him.” Dean said with anger, grabbing Sam’s phone out of his hand.

“Cas! Where the hell have you been?!”

“I have other things to do sometimes Dean. I’m not free for your attention all the time.”

“Did y/n pray to you at all throughout these few days? Tell me!”

“No! No I have not heard any word from her. I’m sorry, Dean.”

He swore under his breath then threw the phone back to Sam. Sam explained that he had to keep track of your car so he had to go, hanging up after. The drive went on for hours, then the car randomly stopped.

“Dean..”

“What?”

“The car stopped, it hasn’t moved for like 40 minutes.”

“What! Why didn’t you tell me!?”

Sam sighed while he punched the wheel, pulling over on the side in the middle of nowhere to get some air and walk around, as he usually does when he’s angry. He got out and slammed the door, making Sam jump as he kept searching up ways to track your car. He heard Dean yelling and cussing the whole time, kicking and punching the car, tree, and the ground. He was furious, mostly with himself.

He leaned against the car and shoved his face in his hands, letting the quiet sobs he’s been holding in for so long come out. He looked up at the sky as his tears fell down his face, not even noticing Sam came out and was sitting behind him.

“Why do I push everyone away?” He said, looking back down at the ground

“You don’t, Dean. You didn’t cause this –“

“Bullshit! I got angry at her once I saw her scars even though I knew! I just .. I just wished Casey was lying, and she actually didn’t hurt herself or feel that way about herself. She’s so amazing, you know? Why do the good people get hurt the worst?”

“I wish I knew, brother.”

“I just want her to come home. I want to make sure she’s okay, Sammy. I want her home and I want us to take care of her. Even if she doesn’t let us at first we’re going to try all we can. I just hope she’s safe..”

After a few more minutes of Dean ranting and Sam listening he heard his laptop beeping from inside the car. They both looked over and noticed the spot was moving again. They both ran in and drove right away, not even giving the car a chance to warm up.

-

You stood on the bridge and looked down at the water. This was it, you were done. This was your last moment alive. Even though it was a pretty scene, your favorite thing to look at was the stars and the moon shining in the water, now it’d be the last view you’d see.

Before you could jump and say goodbye you heard the sounds of an Impala rolling up, fuck. Your heart pounded as the sound got closer, then you saw the lights and heard the tires screech.

“Dean don’t –“ Sam said, trying to stop Dean as he marched angrily at you.

You held your hands up in defense and was ready to jump till he wrapped his arms around your body and hugged you tightly, carrying you off the railing and sitting against the wall of the bridge with you in his arms. He leaned his head against your back as you sat in between his legs not even bothering to fight him off cause how tight he was holding you, there was no point.

Sam ran out of the car and stopped in front of you, kneeling down and placing a stray of your hair behind your ear and kissing your forehead while they both cried of happiness. You felt the back of your shirt soak up as Dean cried, and could see the tears welling up in Sam’s from the moonlight.

“Oh y/n, thank god you’re safe. Thank god we came in time.” Sam said, hugging you again.

“Let’s go home, please.” You said softly.

Home. You were going home.

The drive home was really quiet and awkward. You could cut the tension with a knife. Nobody was angry only at themselves. You kept your eyes on the window next to you but you could feel Sam and Dean giving you small glances from the mirror to make sure you didn’t take any pills in the back or anything.

After 5 hours you finally arrived home. It was around 5 AM now so usually you guys would be heading to bed for two hours but there was no hope for sleep tonight, not after everything.

Dean carried your bag in and helped you put everything away as Sam sat with you on the couch and talked to you about everything.

“I’m glad you didn’t do it, y/n. We need you more than anything. You’re our rock and I’m not sure why you don’t see that.”

“Cause … I always get in the w-“

“No, no. Do not talk like that, okay? Cause none of it is true! I know you think you screw up a lot, I know you feel guilty for killing that family even though it was really Casey doing it but with your body. I know you feel out of place, and like you don’t matter but you truly do! You’re a beautiful individual and we love you very much. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s human. But you shouldn’t let them take over you. You’re you, y/n! You’re an amazing, beautiful, smart, caring girl not to mention you can kick mine and Dean’s ass in a few minutes cause you’re so bad ass” You laughed at that part as he did too.

“Look, none of this is your fault. It’s not because you are weak, it’s not because you are scared it is because you’re hurting. You’ve been dealing with Dean and I for 7 almost 8 years which is a hell of a long time. Maybe after this, when you’re all well and everything we’ll take you out for sundaes again. We can even invite Cas along with us we all know how much he loves those sundaes.”

You sniffled with a smile as Sam wiped your tears away, kissing your cheek after.

“We love you y/n. And we’ll help you fight this battle, just like you help us with ours. Always Keep Fighting for us, please.”

You both hugged for about 5 minutes until you heard Dean clomp his boots against the wooden floor and come back in with a pie in his hands. A piece for you, Sam and him.

“I’ll even let you have the last piece.” He smiled at you.

You finished the night off with catching up on Dexter and drinking beers along with eating pies and ice cream. Sam even tried making homemade sundaes but they weren’t exactly what he expected, which was okay of course.

Dean looked over and noticed the scars on your thighs, and how they looked newer than the others. Once Sam looked over and noticed what he was staring at, he understood.

“y/n? are those … new?” Dean asked while you nodded shamefully.

“Sammy, grab the alcohol and bandages please.” He got up and left straight away, leaving you alone with Dean. You gave him a “I’m sorry” look while he gave you a hug, letting you know he’s not mad.

When Sam came back you laid out on the couch in your underwear, not being the first time you went through this with them being a hunter and all. Sam did the work as Dean held your hand, trying to keep you calm as he knew how much you hated doing this.

“It’s okay y/n. You’re so strong you can do this.” He reminded you, running your hair back and kissing your head as you groaned in pain.

He talked to you about memories to calm you down, even memories that were embarrassing for him but still made you and him laugh, even Sam while he was cleaning you up. You never realized how much you needed these two dorks to keep you sane till now.

After you finished you all decided to go to bed. The boys walked down the hall with you as you all  walked side by side and talked, like usual

“Hey y/n, if you want me or Sammy can stay with ya tonight just to make sure you’re uh .. you know.”

“Dean, I’m okay I promise. Really.” He gave you a small nod while they both hugged you, telling you goodnight.

-

You woke up covered in sweat, tears and the sounds of your screams. The door busted open and slammed against the wall, lights being off all you could see was a shadow figure making you panic more. You screamed and covered your face with your blankets, asking for whatever or whoever it was to go away until you heard a voice you would always remember, Dean’s.

“Y/n?! y/n! It’s me! Hshhhh., it’s okay. I’m right here it’s okay.” He panicked, cupping your face and laying your head on his chest as he held you.

He noticed your breathing starting to settle down and let the tears flow. He didn’t ask what was wrong, or begged you to tell him. He knew you’d tell him when you were ready, and he was willing to help you till you’re there.

“See? You’re safe. I got you, I got you.”

“The nightmares Dean… they’re horrible.”

“I know sweet pea, I know.”

“The kids…the parents… they were in my dream. They were all circling around me and asking why, WHY! I didn’t know how to fucking answer, cause I don’t know why Casey did it! If I knew and if I could give them closure I would, but I can’t Dean. I can’t!”

He let you rant as much as you needed. He let you cry as much as he wanted, not caring if his shirt was going to be soaked after. He knew you needed him, needed him now more than ever and he was going to be here.

“Think about the sundaes we’re going to have once you’re better, darling. Think about the good times. Think about Dexter. What do you think is going to happen next? I’m so excited to find out. Think about that day we went out and got sundaes with Cas and Sammy and how we finished the night playing board games together. We can do that again sometime this week if you want? I kind of miss it even though you always kick my ass in Monopoly. Think about me, think about Sam. Think about how much you mean to us. We love you, so, so much. You have no idea how sane you keep us just by being here. We NEED you!”

He stopped talking to catch some air and looked over and noticed the picture frame sitting on your dresser. He reached over and grabbed it, then laid back down with you in his strong arms. He rubbed his thumb over the picture, just as you did before you left but he was smiling instead.

“You still have this?” You nodded of course

“You didn’t take it with you?”

“No… I couldn’t…”

He noticed your voice get quiet so he stopped and talked happier things, happier thoughts to keep his girl happy.

“We’re gonna be smiling down at this when we’re 70 and in rocking chairs.” You both chuckled as he put it away.

“I cried when we couldn’t find you, y/n. I actually .. cried. I cried in front of Sam and you know how rarely I let people see that side of me. I was so fucking scared. I was so relieved to see you didn’t jump, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you did.”

“I’m glad I didn’t too, Dean, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not gonna leave you, ever. Not when you’re having an episode, not if you’re stressed or in a pissy mood. Family sticks together through the good and bad. Even if we weren’t family I’d still stay, cause I care about you. I’m going to stay with you tonight, so if you need anything I’ll be right here.”

He got up to get his pillow and blanket to lay on the floor with till you stopped him with a sad look he could barley see from the darkness of the room, but he could tell something was wrong.

“Where are you going?”

“I was going to go get my pillow and blanket to sleep on the floor with..” He said with an awkward, shy tone

You patted the spot on your bed next to you and nodded over to him. He looked at you with confusion, wondering why you would ever allow him to sleep in the same bed as you. Most the time if you had to share beds in a motel you’d share with Sam, only because you thought Dean wouldn’t want to.

“Sleep with me, please? I don’t want to be scared anymore. I’m so tired of being scared.” He didn’t ask twice and laid back down

He wrapped his arms around your waist and laid his head against your back as you smiled against him. You placed your hand on top of his as it rested on your stomach as you laid on your side, making him smirk too. He gripped on tighter and eventually you both fell asleep peacefully for the first time in what seemed like forever.

It was good to be home.

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anonymous asked:

I'm just curios here. How did you end up shipping Casey (Hartley) and scriggins . I mean they never meet or mentions each other in the entire game so where did this ship come from

I… Actually don’t remember honestly? 

I think…. I think I remember seeing a small portion somewhere in @allistor-miguel-richards ‘ blog? I just remember someone- Somewhere- mentioned about the two hanging out. Just like a little headcanon they made up. 

At the time I was like ‘Oh, that would be interesting! Haha’. And then I was also like ‘You know what? I should draw Casey and Scriggins some more cause I need to practice drawing guys anyway-’

Then… BOOM.

Instead of drawing pictures of them, I just drew pictures of them TOGETHER and I just spiraled to the ship that I like to tag as:

‘Casey x Scriggins’

And well… That’s how I fell into the ship that rarely anyone has heard about, but I self indulge myself with constantly.

But hey, I think its a very nice ship. Plus, I think I gotten the hang of drawing some dudes better too, If I say so myself.

//sips tea//

Anyway. Thank you for stopping by with the interesting question Anon! Hope you have a wonderful evening! 

(  >w<)/ ♫

anonymous asked:

hey! would u mind giving a quick rundown/intro to the engwnt roster? thanks :)

i’ll answer seriously this time lol

GOALKEEPERS
Karen Bardsley
- Makes world class saves. Good punch on the ball when a cross comes into the penalty box. Could work on catching and not missing the ball when a Belgian is a metre away but overall very confident with her in net.

Siobhan Chamberlain - Has had to play back up for a long time but is a solid keeper and a good shot-stopper.

Carly Telford - Haven’t actually seen much of her so not really got much to say but she made some incredible saves in last seasons wsl

DEFENDERS
Steph
Houghton - Brilliant leader and CB. Stays calm in pressured situations (like goal line clearances). Good in the air and at free kicks too.

Casey Stoney - Very experienced CB with excellent vision of the game. I think other players feel very comfortable with her on the pitch.

Laura Bassett - A CB who plays with no fear. Solid at the back (except that one time lol)

Millie Bright - Absolute tank of a CB/CDM. Produces crunching, well timed tackles and pops up with a headed goal on occasions.

Jo Potter - Good passer of the ball. A versatile player between MF and DF.

Lucy Bronze - Just an incredible RB. Can perform in all areas of the pitch. Bombs down the right to provide options in attack and scores some wonder goals. Absolutely key to the team.

Demi Stokes - Very fast LB who also is good at getting forward and helping put balls in the box.

Alex Scott - Might not play as much these days but when she does she offers speed and experience.

Alex Greenwood - Wonder of a left foot which takes very good set pieces. Good amount of aggression to push opponents off the ball (henlo shoulder barge)

MIDFIELDERS
Jade
Moore- Another tank in midfield who will not pull out of a tackle no matter the risk.

Fara Williams - Cool, calm and collected, especially from the penalty spot. Very experienced with an incredible passing range.

Jordan Nobbs - The engine of the team. Her energy never lets up and so she constantly bosses the middle of the pitch. Also a wonderful striker of the ball. Future captain.

Jill Scott - 86th minute tap in merchant. Obviously very good when it comes to heading.

Izzy Christiansen - Very energetic player who makes good runs off the ball. Finds space where many wouldn’t.

Karen Carney - Tricky player who can often make something from a seemingly impossible position. Work rate is second to none.

FORWARDS
Fran Kirby - Clever player who makes clever runs and scores clever goals.

Nikita Parris - FAST. Makes nifty runs down the wings and provides many assists.

Ellen White - Never second to the ball. Gets herself into great positions to get shots away and does not miss very often. Top rate fitness levels too.

Toni Duggan - Likes to go through periods of time where she cannot stop scoring screamers.Very talented but just needs to improve her shooting under pressure.

Jodie Taylor- Incredible work rate, a player that doesn’t stop until the final whistle. Very clinical in front of goal.

So back when I was trying to make a story with the Tokyo Boys collection I made Elle’s girlfriend and the Isao siblings for plot reasons.  Which was the main reason I had wanted to make her a Volks doll and why she was shelled briefly as a Volks Liz.

Liz and Isao never really looked all that related.


Now that I’ve scrapped the story and any real need for the relation.  And changed the girlfriend to the Unon Marion.  WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE ACTUAL SIBLINGS NOW?!