“Lawrence, only two kinds of creature get fun in the desert: Bedouins and gods, and you’re neither. Take it from me; for ordinary men, it’s a burning, fiery furnace.” “No, Dryden. It’s going to be fun.”
Semi serious post here. I feel like a bit of a tit writing it, to be honest. I’m a bit worried that I’m going to make a complete boob of it, but I feel like it’s important to keep abreast of these things.
Long story short, my right tit is being a right tit, and has decided to develop a huge lump.
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and I know academically and objectively that it is all going to be fine, that there is a literal 95% chance of it being absolutely nothing to worry about, but I am still nervous. It feels really, really stupid saying ‘hey, I’m basically sure that there’s nothing to worry about, and yet I’m still worried!’ but that’s the truth of it.
It’s always seemed strange to me that when our friends are applying for a dream job, we say ‘yes, there’s a small chance, but there’s still a chance! Go for it!’ and yet when we find something wrong with our bodies, we’re supposed to focus on the bigger numbers, the 95% and not the 5%. Inevitably, the 5% creeps through.
So, even though I am certain that it is all going to be fine, this is my 5%. I’m embarrassed to even be writing this because it feels too personal and also like I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill (a mole lump?) but I’m also aware that there’s a stigma around talking about these things, and that’s super not helpful. Bodies aren’t inherently shameful, and there’s nothing embarrassing about saying ‘well, something didn’t feel right, so I got it checked out’. That’s just being mature and responsible.
People with bosoms, check your bosoms. Heck, bosoms or not, check all your body parts. Not, like, too much. Probably not in public, either. In the shower maybe. Do it now. And if you feel like something’s amiss, make an appointment. Pls. Do it for me.