i actually have nothing else to do with my life

I know they’re just fictional characters, it’s been 78 years and this is not good for my blood pressure, but it physically pains me when people take the best scenes of Sasuke caring as proof of how much he doesn’t care.

Sasuke can’t word. Like, at all. He’s absolutely terrible at stuff like giving verbal reassurance or even at explaining himself clearly. He’s your go-to guy if you have a meteorite problem or an alien problem or… some other highly unlikely problem like that, but to assume that he possesses the basic skills necessary to send an obligatory ‘get well soon’ card to someone without accidentally insulting the person’s intelligence and ancestors in the process would be a mistake.

To make things even more hilarious (or sad depending on the context) it’s not even a tsundere thing. He doesn’t say the opposite of what he means, he says exactly what he means but in such a succinct and blunt fashion it leaves people feeling like he’s being purposefully vague or just straight up rude. This is because Sasuke can not only not word but he also can’t people, so he’s the type who will assume that his partner in conversation will just get what he means if he gives them a nudge – or a hn, I suppose – in the right direction. A prime example of this would be every time he called Sakura “annoying” when what he really meant was, “I already decided to leave you and everyone else I care about behind so could you maybe stop actively reminding me of how incredibly difficult that was,” as well as this glorious mess right here:

What Sakura thinks Sasuke just said: My life is none of your business.

What Sasuke thinks Sasuke just said: It’s my road to redemption. You have nothing to do with my sins. [It doesn’t matter whether or not I want you with me because this isn’t your cross to bear. I can’t expect you to leave your family and friends behind and put your career on hold in favor of wandering around the continent with me while I sort out the mess that is my life. You have a life of your own and while I’m grateful for your offer, I care about you too much to take you up on it.] *forehead poke*

Keep reading

The moon signs when they’re emotional

Aries: I’M GOING TO PUNCH A WALL!!!!!! WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BE OUT TO GET ME???? CAN’T I LIVE??? I’M SO UPSET AND WHY DOES NO ONE CARE??? MY EMOTIONS ARE THE #1 PRIORITY RN!!!! *blames someone else for their problems* (5 minutes later is over it)

Taurus: why life wHY?????? I didn’t want to mOVE today let alone CRY *crawls into a hole full of blankets and sobs into a bag of chips*

Gemini: oh lol whatever idk why my eyes are wet but I’m just gonna ignore this and hope it’ll go away tomorrow

Cancer: I just love to fEeEeEeL things :(((((( I’m going to cry and think about the reasons why I’m crying and maybe look at old pictures and write a poem and cry more *eats an entire carton of ice cream*

Leo: I can’t cRy in fRonT of PEOPLE!!! I have too much pRiDe!!!!! *throws head back and struts their stuff* (10 minutes later they have a dramatic emotional show just for the benefit of everyone else)

Virgo: am I actually feeling this or am I just projecting my feelings into this moment so that I can get them out? what do these feelings mean? what does the fact that I’m questioning my feelings mean? is that another feeling? is life even real? I hate myself I’m so INCOMPETENT *hysterical crying*

Libra: nOOOOO this means cONFLICT!!!!!! I can’t have this in my life!!!!!! maybe if I hold this in nothing will happen. I definitely won’t bother anyone else about it because that would be tOO MUCH FOR ME I can’t put burden on others

Scorpio: *has straight face* this is just another case of the darkness inside my soul

Sagittarius: haha WHATEVER!!!!!! gonna go run away from this bc who needs this kind of drama in life?!?!?! not me!!!!!!!! I’m fiiiiiine those aren’t tears it’s just a piece of dust in my eye

Capricorn: I need…to pull…myself…together….must…look…like…everything…is…normal… *has mental breakdown alone*

Aquarius: emotions???? I don’t have emotions lol what are those??? I’m aBOVE that so I’m just going to focus on the fact that society is so corrupted or something!!! there are way more important issues that MY feelings

Pisces: I…just CAN’T deal with life anymore…I need to eScApE I’m drowning in my own tEARS *sobs*

“Flat out” - h.s. Part 3

Part 1 / Part 2 

—–

—–

Before Harry came back to London, you had always enjoyed that your flat was kind of a drama free zone. You never invited anyone over, except for Felicity who came over on weekends to study, and you always had a sense of clear calm and peace to have your work zone and just enjoy yourself.

But when Harry came back for longer than just a couple weeks, things did become different. You didn’t mind though considering it was technically his apartment, and it was just his space as much as it was yours. But you knew that the only reason the flat had been so quiet was because you had been the only one in it. And now that Harry was back, you both found a way to express yourselves through some louder words every once in a while.

With the arrest of diTorino and his buddies, you really didn’t feel unsafe in any way. But that didn’t seem to matter to Harry as he drove you in silence back to the flat you shared. He was quiet, a brooding angry quiet that you didn’t want to mess with, and you decided not to allow it to bother you in any way as you dropped your keys and shoes at the front door and made your way inside.

You’d seen Harry angry on multiple accounts. There had been the whole cupcake fiasco at Liam’s birthday two years ago, and then that paparazzi that had almost knocked you over during your time in Canada. And though it was scary at times, you never took it that seriously because you knew he was nothing more than a softy on the inside.

So you didn’t take it into thought as Harry slammed the door behind you while you walked over to the kitchen.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Draco, seriously, don't you realize that Harry could have someone so much better than you? Just think of who you are and who he is... (Sorry ! Draco is actually my favorite character, I just want to see their reactions, ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable and sorry if it does !)

Draco: Ah… I believe we have our first hater.

Harry: *incredulously angry* Do you people genuinely have nothing else to do?

Draco: *lightly* It’s alright, I don’t care.

Harry: I care! ‘Think of who you are and who he is’? What the fuck?!

Draco: Well, an ex-Death Eater does make an odd life partner, I mean, for the Vanquisher of the Dark L–

Harry: I am not inclined to make light of this, Draco. There is literally nobody else who’d be ‘better’ for me. I can’t be without you, you know that right?

Draco: *cheekily* Obviously. I’m still here, aren’t I? *sighs when Harry doesn’t soften* Come here… you’re awfully cute when you’re all riled up.

Harry: I hate these fucking–

Draco: Would you be quiet and kiss me?

anonymous asked:

do you enjoy a little that tests you with her brattiness?

no. i dont. at all. only a maniac would.

the thing about brattiness… is that littles, contrary to popular belief, are not naturally bratty.  A good daddy… one who does his job correctly and efficiently never has to worry about having this issue

the bratty sub/little most commonly ends up being bratty as a result of the daddys incompetence as a caregiver or really human being in general. Its because hes failing at his job and she can only be so patient.. its because shes not getting what she wants and shes been incorrectly trained to deal with it through acting out in the past… its because she simply carries an attitude or a stigma that every relationship will be the same, so she ultimately tries to self sabotage as an effort of making things come to and end.

That way at least she can feel that it ended for a specific reason, by her own doing, and she can own it and feel ok instead of fearing abandonment, abuse, cheating, and anything else that some half wit jackhole who read 50 shades of grey would do to her…

however… 

What separates me from most of the daddys that I end up hearing about… is the fact that I am genuine, real and actually have a good record in the lifestyle of experience and training, and as such, I dont tolerate shenanigans.

 I especially dont tolerate unwarranted brattiness towards me when I have done nothing to deserve it. I put 100% of my best efforts into a person in order to improve their life.. and if after all that you spit in my face, youre not going to get an apology and a pat on the bottom from me while I grovel at your feet. You’ll be met with indignant umbrage and a reaction you didnt expect and wont like. 

test me with your brattiness? its a test youre going to absolutely fail.

I Thought You Were Different: Book 4 (Part 16/?) (Steve Rogers x reader)

Part 15

There was no memorial service; no large outpouring of support from your team, and no words of remembrance spoken.  The only people allowed at this final moment with Maggie were you, Steve, and Tony.  Your trio refused to come along, not wanting this memory of their baby sister to be the last that they had.  You didn’t argue, and you understood; it made a strange sense to you that it would be just the three of you here, and that was enough if not almost too many.  Of course, as a part of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, when one of them fell or became victim to trauma or sorrow, the media felt the right to push themselves into your life without regard to your feelings.  Ever the vigilant guardian, just as he had done after your accident, Vision stood strong at a far periphery of the small cemetery, casting a hazy field around you so that their prying eyes couldn’t see the private moment.

Keep reading

Thought I should make an update since my content has been about as deep as a puddle lately. The reason why I don’t really have anything to post about is as I’ve previously stated that there isn’t anything going on in my life right now. So I thought that I maybe should explain that a bit more and while I’m at it why it’s pretty much impossible to get a hold of me.

So, first things first. I’m still waiting for the hospital and my hormones.
I’ve been depressed for a very long time, which shouldn’t really come as a surprise as it’s usually goes hand in hand with gender dysphoria. Which in my case means that I don’t really have the energy to do shit.
I believe that the only way for me to feel better would be to do something about my dysphoria since that’s the root of my depression and ultimately why I can’t seem to get my life together.
The problem here is simply that I have no idea when I’ll actually get my hormones since not even the hospital knows when they will be ready to see me yet.

This has made my depression worse, simply because of the stress of not knowing when I may finally get help turning my life around. I’m unable to focus on anything else since I believe this is the only thing that may actually help me getting better.

This is pretty much the long version of “nothing going on“. I spend most of my time trying to find work, but I have problems with my sleep, eating and generally have a hard time focusing on anything. So more often than not I just end up doing nothing.
I was seeing a speech-therapist, but since I was unable to focus on actually practicing I decided to wait and do it while I’m actually on hormones so that I wouldn’t end up just wasting their and other patients time.
This may sound strange since this may seem like an activity that would help with my dysphoria, but I don’t really care all that much about my voice as of now and it doesn’t actually cause me any discomfort.

All I know is that I will most likely get my hormones sometime next year, but since the hospitals schedule for next year wasn’t done yet they don’t know more than that. So, I’m pretty much hoping that it’s sometime early 2017, but it’s to early to actually tell.




That’s about all I have to say about that, so I’ll go on to the next topic. Why it’s so hard to get a hold of me.
This one is pretty simple actually. I used to answer every message and more importantly try to help those who needed it. But as it stands the vast majority of the messages I get is of sexual nature. Something that I time and time again explain that I have no interest in.
What this means is that I don’t go through my messages as frequently anymore and when I do it’s easy to miss people who actually ask for advice and such because of all the shit.
I do try to go through it once in a while to see if there’s actually anything of interest, but it gets dull going through so much shit.
I do apologize that it’s so hard to get a hold of me, but I’m not sure what I can do about it yet. I guess I could make a script to just remove some of the messages by keywords, but I’m not certain yet.

A real, effective apology has three parts: (1) Acknowledge how your action affected the person; (2) say you're sorry; (3) describe what you're going to do to make it right or make sure it doesn't happen again. Don't excuse or explain.

Most people treat an apology as a way to explain their point of view. But that feels to the listener like making excuses or minimizing their experience.

Say your roommate accidentally ruins your  couch by spilling a big cup of coffee on it. Think about which you’d rather hear.

Mediocre apology: “I’m so sorry! I just got startled when my phone buzzed and I accidentally knocked it over. It was totally an accident. I feel terrible.”

Good apology: “I know you really like the look of that couch, and now it’s got a stain on it - you must be really bummed about that. I’m so sorry. I’d be happy to pay for a cleaning, and in the future, I’ll keep my drinks in the kitchen.

Edit: Reading through the comments, I think I should clarify. I’m talking about situations where you feel bad about something you did or said, and want to clear the air with an apology. This is not applicable to situations where you feel you did nothing wrong, or don’t want to apologize.

Edit 2.  Well. Had I known anyone would actually read this, I probably would have put some time into thinking of some better examples! I’m super new to reddit, so this has been interesting.

I went though the first couple hundred responses and got some rough numbers, as follows:

This is a pretty good idea, I will contribute some further thoughts or information: 12%

I like this. Nothing further. 11%

This is the right idea, but Jesus H. Christ, your examples are terrible. 8%

I will tell a joke. 7%

You gotta have some explanation, or else how are they supposed to know what you’re apologizing for? 7%

I wish [person in my life] did this. 7%

You plagiarized this from Jimmy John’s/Dr. Laura/Daniel Tiger/other. 7%

You gotta also do something else (ask forgiveness, actually do something to make amends, etc.). 7%

And for the love of FSM, never say "I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry, but…” because that’s awful. 6%

10.Apologizing sucks. 6%

This would not be appropriate for every situation. 5%

This is a terrible idea. 4%

Something about Trump. 3%

I have my Google JD and/or my cousin’s wife’s stepmom is a lawyer, and therefore I have determined that you’ll be legally liable. 3%

Here’s a link you won’t click. 3%

This is just as stupid and repetitive as the rest of the thoughtless dreck on this wasteland of a sub. I’M LEAVING. 3%

You are a robot/HR person/narcissist/ neckbeard fuckboy/passive-aggressive jerk. 2%

Percentages rounded.

stardustsantiago  asked:

do you have any college prompts? i'm stuck on an idea. Thank you!

1) “Oh god, are you okay?” 
“I’m fine.”
“Are you hurt?”
“Just my pride.” 


2)  Someone kept stealing all of the food out of the communal fridge. When they eventually stole a birthday cake, I decided enough was enough. It was time to track down the food thief once and for all.


3) “I’m wondering if I’ve ever talked to you when we’re both not drunk.”
“Probably not. I don’t really talk when I’m sober. Anxiety.”
“That kinda sounds like a challenge.”


4) You thought I was terrifying and aloof and my reputation preceded me. Really, you just had the bad habit of talking to my morning face.


5) The hazing ritual for the sorority was the sweetest, most positive hazing on campus. The hazing for entering the poetry club, however…
“Last year they sacrificed bloody chickens to the muses.” 
“Writer’s block is hard, man.”
“Don’t make excuses for them.”


6) Sometimes, it felt like everyone else had been handed the keys to life and she was sitting in her room listening to it. Doing nothing. Imagining scenarios and then hiding before anything could actually happen to her. Enough. On this Year Abroad, she was going to be an all new person. 
It wasn’t supposed to end with a murder charge.


7) “Can I come and sleep on your floor? My roommate won’t stop with her boyfriend and I have a test in the morning and-” 
“This is the third time this week!” 

Episode 1
  • Lance screamed for Keith when they were all being pulled apart :’)
  • Nice reminder of how gorgeous the animation is
  • PIDGE, my actual daughter… So yes, Green is a girl <3
  • “I’ll see what I can do”…*proceeds to build her teammates out of space garbage*
  • awww she misses them
  • anyone else hella impressed by allura’s fingers flying across the screens in panic mode? no? just me? ok.
  • HOLY SHIT! ponytail coran was nothing compared to this sexy edgelord right here
  • and omg his voice :’D 
  • i can’t believe young coran = lance
  • what the fukc was the pirouette IM SCREAMING
  • for someone who hates the outdoors pidge has the best nature karma i s2g
  • damn. i could have gone my whole life without seeing coran’s emo nihilist phase
  • space mom can deal with literally any personality type \(^.^)/
  • WTF 5 YEAR OLD CORAN HAD A MUSTACHE LMFAOOO
  • well at least you found water keith A+ space exploring
  • me @shiro: you’re doing great sweetie!
  • pidge my smol genius daughter u build that transmitter girl - again with the amazing nature karma
  • broganes bonding :’)
  • aaahhh toddler coran with a lisp AND A MUSTACHE LAKDFJL;AKDFJ;AL
  • “i hungry’ *angry stomping* SAME KID, SAME
  • mom of the year award goes to allura; she just handle a good 4 decades worth of parenting in 20 minutes
  • Keith piloting the black lion? nice 80s voltron reference ;)
  • all those de-age fics of lance and keef, and it’s actually baby coran we get <333 he’s so smol 
  • more broganes <3 but sadder this time :(
  • Prorok: “I’m innocent” maybe innocent means something different in galran
  • THACE! i need to know more

im tired of art. im tired of being an artist, of making art, of having to deal in art and it being the only thing people identify me with/as, of it being all my dumb life is built on externally, since inside’s just a fucking mess that I hate. i mean obviously im responsible for all of the above and i get that, and there’s nothing else i wish people identified me with/as. 

im tired of my art and my style and the entire process of making a drawing. I’m tired and im frustrated. im tired of having to try and keep up with the artistic community and trying to improve (and not actually doing shit, just getting fucking worse) and im tired of dreading people telling me to “become a graphic designer” or “concept illustrator/video game illustrator” like honestly, dude, I’m a fucking shit artist. I’m not fucking original at all. I can’t draw jack fucking squat when I don’t have a clear objective such as it being a commission of an existing character.

I fucking hate my style, I hate everything I do and when I try I get nowhere. I’m so tired of being generic and ugly and not gifted. I don’t have any real talent aside from just spending thousands of hours drawing, im not inspired my shit. im only inspired by wishing i could be as creative or original as other artists, and yeah i absolutely could technically try harder in so many areas that might alleviate my stupid ass whining, but deep down I know I’ll never be original, nor will I ever have that sort of aspect about my art that sets aside my shit tier scrub fucking art from lovely and inspired artists. 

redxluna replied to your post: anally-fucked-up replied to your post: …

It’s interesting too since he and then Solas are the only two characters that can happen with. (Also I hope you’re feeling better!)

Yeah, I find that to be an odd choice there and really would like the developers to explain this in better detail. Also, I wonder if anyone commented to the developers on how concerning it was to see the openly gay character hit so violently, because Dorian falls to the ground when he gets punched while Solas does not.

And I am feeling better. I’m working on a Fallout 4 Cullrian AU because I have nothing else to do with my life, which meant actually turning only Fallout 4 for the first time in MONTHS!

Strange Happenings - Ch. 3

Originally posted by reylo-musings

Summary: Your roommate finally returns, though she’s accepted your venture to help Kylo, she remains hesitant and skeptical. The process of getting Kylo accustomed to Earth also continues everywhere from your local coffee shop, to the DMV. Kylo also reflects on just how much he needs to change since his brave decision to escape the First Order as well as how much there’s still to learn.

A/N: Look who busted out another chapter sooner than she thought she would!


Mila’s mouth hung open, slice of pizza in her hand waiting as she simply stared in what you could only guess was mild shock. You turned your gaze to Kylo, as he practically inhaled his 3rd piece of cheese pizza only to reach into the box and grab another. She turned to you mouth still agape and eyebrows scrunched as she mouthed ‘what the fuck’ to you. You simply shrugged. Mila turned back to Kylo and cleared her throat.

 “I see you’re liking the pizza…they don’t have it where you’re from I’m guessing?”

He finally put the slice down as he shook his head in response. 

“Not even close.” he managed to say, with his mouth full.

“Where exactly are you from? I mean you speak pretty perfect English for an exchange student. No accent either.”

Kylo hesitated. He knew from your thoughts you wanted him to lie about being from another location on Earth, but you had yet to cover geography with him. Frantically you mustered up a thought for Kylo to pick-up, a country you were more than positive Mila knew nothing about, remembering a project you once did in high school. 

“Uh I’m from…Moldova actually…my parents home schooled me…taught me fluent Basic-I mean English. We spoke English.”

You turned to look back at her, evaluating if she truly believed him or not. She eyed him up and down as she nodded.

“Ok…Eastern Europe yeah?”

He slowly nodded in response, looking to you in the corner of his eye for assurance.

“I see it. Must have been interesting. Did you grow up in the city?”

“N-no…I grew up in the farming region. Really desolate. No neighbors.”

You winked in his direction, assuring him he was doing a good job conveying your story you were spinning for him. 

“No neighbors? Did you ever visit other cities?”

“No. My parents kept me very…sheltered.”

Ooo, good improv

“How’d you end up flying out here? You know, with a life so sheltered.”

“I uh…I decided I needed to leave, needed to see what else was out there. There was nothing good left for me there. It was going to end up killing me…if I stayed.”

Another improv, was he telling his actual story now?

“So just curious if you have no one to contact, what happened to your parents? Any siblings still out there?”

Keep reading

parabatai stuff!

Hello Cassie! I have a question about Parabatai. Well, basically about a specific thing in TID/TMI that I somehow can’t seem to forget. So, when Will and Jem’s bond broke, Will broke down in pain, physically and mentally, which was really bad for me to handle and showed me how strong the bond really has to be to hurt someone so bad when it breaks. But in TMI, when Jace died, it said Alec didn’t feel it because he was “busy” with the battle. Now what I’m wondering is if it is really possible to just not feel the bond breaking when your Parabatai dies and you are distracted. Of course the battle was something big, but the way it seemed to me in TID, it must /hurt/ a lot when your Parabatai dies and I am having a hard time to believe that Alec didn’t feel anything when Jace died. Lots of love! — daddari-no

1) ‘Allo!

2) I’ve answered this a bit before, but I’ll re-answer it, as I’ve been asked it quite a bit over the past few weeks, which usually means someone is discussing it somewhere.

3) What Alec actually says about what he felt when Jace “died,” was that it was “like there was a cord tying [me] to something and it has snapped, and now [I was falling.” Which isn’t the same as not feeling something because you are busy, though…

4) Being “busy” in a battle in not like being “busy” playing Monopoly — you’re literally fighting for your life. Your digestive system shuts down. Your kidneys start to shut down. You can no longer produce saliva. You stop being able to feel most pain because your body floods with endorphins. And that’s normal folk — imagine what it’s like for Shadowhunters. The parabatai system is a warrior system. It is essentially meant to make two people fight together better. The things we actually all like about it (friendship, personal bonding, love) are side effects, not the purpose. If people collapsed entirely every time their parabatai was hurt in battle, or when their parabatai was hurt and they were in battle, then the parabatai system would probably be less useful than it is trouble, and they might stop doing it!

5)  People often compare Jace dying and Jem becoming a Silent Brother, because both would “break” the parabatai bond, and that is true. But I think it’s also worth asking: if you feel the parabatai bond is so strong, do you think there’s no difference to one parabatai if their partner dies peacefully of old age, or is tortured to death over a long period? I guess what I am saying is: yes, Alec felt a flash of something terrible, in the middle of battle, when Jace briefly died. Alec felt for much longer, much more strongly, what was going on in City of Lost Souls: Jace being possessed, and divided from him by a dimension. One of those things is unnatural, the other is part of life. Which is not to say that having your parabatai bond ended by death isn’t awful. It’s awful. But it can’t be so awful it destroys you, or again: no one would do it or agree to do it to someone else.

6) Jem being turned into a Silent Brother — a terrible, torturous process — and Jace dying aren’t the same thing. Death is a natural part of life, while what happens to Jem isn’t. 

7) Also, Jace is dead for all of ten minutes maybe. We have no idea how many minutes passed after Jem became a Silent Brother before Will actually felt it. It could have been hours. 

8) As I said in my previous post: “Alec and Jace do have a normal parabatai bond, even a strong one. Jem and Will have an extraordinary bond. That’s nothing bad about Jace and Alec. The Jem/Will thing is just one of those things that hardly ever happens. It doesn’t mean Jace and Alec suck or don’t love each other or anything like that.” I get a lot of questions about whether I think Jace cares about Alec more than Alec cares about him and vice versa: kind of like I get a lot of questions about whether I ship Wessa or Jessa. And kind of the way I feel about the Wessa/Jessa thing, I think that Alec and Jace have a balanced friendship and care about each other equally. 

I understand the desire to pick sides (I think it’s fostered by the weird way people have been encouraged to read everything as being about Teams since Twilight) but rather like picking between Will and Jem, picking between Jace and Alec is picking between two people who wouldn’t thank you for picking between them. Alec would not thank you for telling him Jace was not a good friend. He would use you for target practice. :) If you told Jace Alec was not a good friend I suspect he would challenge you to a jumping off the roof of the Institute contest.

Jace and Alec are very different people, and they show their love differently, as they show their anger. Alec did feel Jace’s death, which goes to show in part how very strongly they are bonded and how much they do love each other. If anything happened to Jace, Alec would never really be the same again, and the same goes the other way. So fingers crossed for them both. ;)

Perfect

You hadn’t wanted to go out that night. The couch and your favourite novel were calling you, begging you to stay in. But your best friend was also calling you, literally, blowing up your phone with messages of how you never go out. You respectfully disagreed; she said that school and work didn’t count. She won, of course, that was how you ended up at the bar.

You were out, but that didn’t mean you had to enjoy yourself. You were fully content with sipping on your diet Coke, tucked safely away from the mass of people. That, you could handle. You were comfortable, like you were blended into the scenery. You felt his eyes on you before you saw them. Your back was towards him but suddenly it was like your cover was blown. You felt vulnerable and alive and just, seen. Slowly you turned your body around and your eyes fell on the source of the stare. Even from across the room you could see the bright green. They were almond shaped, yet wide at the same time. You found yourself curious at how something could look that innocent and tempting simultaneously. He took a step towards you. You took a step towards him. A few more and the two of you were face to face. Oh God, he was good looking. You knew that from the moment you saw him, but up close he was a whole other level of stunning. Pink, pouty lips, tanned skin with the slightest hint of stubble. You could feel yourself begin to melt.

“Harry,” he said, extending his hand. His voice was deep and rough yet smooth. It sliced right through you.

“Y/N,” you blushed, shaking his soft hand.

Harry’s head sat in your lap as you ran your fingers through his hair. His eyes were fluttering closed with relaxation but every so often you’d say something funny and they’d snap open, alight with humour. But then you’d get right back to lightly tracing his scalp, urging him to relax. He didn’t do it enough.

“How long do we have the room for?” you asked quietly, twisting a lock of his hair around your fingers.

“Just one more night,” Harry said in a sleepy voice.

Your heart sank and your lips dropped into a frown. Your hands fell to the sides of Harry’s face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked gently, sitting up. His hand lightly caressed your cheek. You relaxed into his touch.

“Nothing, that’s just not a lot of time,” you murmured.

You inhaled deeply. Sharing a hotel room with Harry was fun, but they weren’t permanent. It was a fantasy world, really. Harry pulling off the bed sheets after a night that began with him grabbing at your hips as he slid the key in. The way your only responsibility was to make the other person feel as much pleasure as possible. But then they’d be off. A new city with packed bags in a new room. And the smoke and mirrors would clear.

Harry looked at you, eyelids heavy with sympathy. He swallowed.

“Look, I know this isn’t ideal, nothing about us being steady, but I’m enjoying this too much to stop,” Harry admitted.

You felt your heart pull at his words. Nothing about the two of you was steady? Surely you had misunderstood. Because even though there was no fixed address or plans, the feelings were strong. They were real. Weren’t they?

To assuage your worries, you leaned in and kissed him. Softly at first, letting him be the one to deepen it.

“Thank you,” you smiled against his lips. He returned the gesture.

“I better get going,” Harry said, standing up and adjusting his shirt. “We have a meeting in twenty. New single is being released tomorrow.” His eyebrows wiggled.

You didn’t realize it then, but the word ‘single’ had a scary double meaning.

You were in the car when you heard it. It was fun, it was catchy and you tapped your fingers along the steering wheel to the beat. You liked it immediately, you decided. It was just innocent fun. Although you couldn’t say you related to it. You were most definitely a relationship girl. You liked commitment and you liked knowing you were special to someone. You liked being Harry’s.

Your smile was bright as you stepped into the studio. Harry had texted you the address earlier and you felt yourself grow giddy at the fact that as soon at the interview was over the two of you would have the entire day to yourselves.

The wall to the room was all glass. You poked your head inside and winked at Niall to let him know you were there. His eyes widened and he nudged Harry, but he was distracted, talking to the interviewer.

“I mean, it’s definitely something that’s familiar to me. This type of relationship. I think a lot of guys our age, you know, want this relationship. The kind where there’s no strings attached and it’s not all that serious. But in our case, it’s a little bit sad, because it’s all we can get. With our lifestyle, our schedules, there’s no time for anything more than casual.”

A sick feeling crept into your stomach.

“So would you say that all of your relationships have been like this, then?” The obnoxious sounding radio host asked.

“Yeah, I mean, even with my current relationships, they’re like this.”

The next thing you heard was the clang of glass. It took you a moment to realize that it came from you. The wind was knocked out of you, sending you flying into the wall. You had taken two steps back and you had knocked into the mirror. It flew to the floor and shattered within seconds. The commotion garnered the attention of everyone in the room, including those on the other side.

Harry’s eyes widened and he jumped to his feet when he saw you standing amongst the shards of glass with tear stained cheeks. The colour drained from his face. He wasn’t moving. You were just standing there, staring at each other like idiots.

“Sweetie, wait,” you heard a woman’s voice call.

But it was too late. You were already running away, the humiliation giving you an adrenaline rush. You pushed through the double doors and hastily pressed the elevator button. You tapped your foot impatiently as you waited for it to come.

“Y/N, stop!” Harry called, rushing after you.

You panicked. The elevator was there, but you couldn’t risk taking it with Harry. Instead you ran for the stairs. You were taking them two at a time, tears blurring your vision.

“Please, you have to wait. Let me explain!”

With the sound of Harry’s voice, you lost your balance and tripped over the last step. Your limbs landed in a heap and there was a sharp sting in your knee.

“Shit,” you heard Harry mutter from behind you. He reached for your body but suddenly it felt like his touch was poisonous.

“Don’t touch me!” you cried, backing away from him.

He recoiled as though he had been slapped.

“Please, give me a…”

You swallowed the bile in your throat. “That song. Was it about me?” Your eyes snapped shut. You couldn’t bear to look at him when he admitted that.

“Not just you!” he said, struggling to find the right words.

“But it was, wasn’t it! That’s how you see us! See me, isn’t it?”

Harry didn’t answer with words. Instead, his shoulders slumped and he stared straight through you.

“Thought so,” you muttered. “Goodbye Harry.”

You turned to walk away but Harry’s hand gripped the top of your arm.

“Don’t do this,” he begged. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Let me go,” you spoke through your teeth. “This was my fault, for thinking I actually meant something to you.”

You pulled out of his grip and ran down the stairs to your car, fighting tears the entire time. You were so hurt and sad but you couldn’t even blame Harry. You should have known better, really you should have. Nothing in life is ever that perfect.

You figured maybe it was time to go out. You couldn’t let him ruin anything else for you. They were your favourite group, a country duo, and you’d be damned if you didn’t go see them. So what if it was at the bar that you and Harry met. You had to get over him. One way or another.

You had thought you could do it. Really, you were a fool for even trying. As soon as you stepped foot into the crowded bar, you felt all the air leave your lungs. You could almost feel his presence even though you were sure he was miles away. You wanted to leave. Leave and never come back. But you had promised yourself. Harry hated this group; he had always teased you over it. You owed it to yourself to stay and prove Harry wrong.

You pushed your body into the crowd, wanting nothing more than to feel lost. Lost in the music. Your hips moved easily to the beat you heard through your headphones every night. You could feel yourself glow at the rush of being free and in charge. They were a nice change from the loneliness.

“This song sucks,” someone whispered in your ear, placing his hands on your waist.

Harry.

You huffed in equal parts annoyance and the pleasure that came from his hands on your body. You wanted to tell him to get the hell off but you were enjoying the feeling too much.

“What are you doing here? You hate this group.” You didn’t turn to look at him yet.

“True. But I love you.”

You froze, the music fading away to the background. You looked at him. His eyes were soft and sincere. Your breath caught in your throat. You needed air. Harry was hot on your tail as you weaved through the crowd to the hallway at the back of the bar. You stopped abruptly, leaning against the wall. Harry raised his arms above you, trapping you.

“Are you…what the hell is wrong with you?” You spat, feeling your heart beat quicken.

“I…I don’t know,” Harry said, staring at your mouth.

“That’s too bad. I sure have a good list.” You rolled your eyes.

“Tell me,” Harry said. What? He was so bizarre. “Tell me everything that’s wrong with me.”

You huffed in annoyance. You didn’t need to be told twice. “Well, for one thing, you can be a real ass sometimes. You never say when something is bugging you, you just sulk like a child. You’re so hard on people, yourself included, and it drives me nuts. You chew gum like a cow and you have the weirdest taste in restaurants. Your outfits remind me of my nan’s house and sometimes you get this stupid smirk like you’re the most important…”

Harry’s lips pressed into your speaking ones without warning. His tongue entered through your parted lips, setting your body on fire. Harry’s forehead rested on the top of yours, your breaths mixing.

“And?” Harry breathed.

“And even with all of that, I’m still in love with you,” you cried, looking into his green eyes. Silent tears fell. Harry wrapped his arms around your lower body and pulled you into him. He rubbed your back, whispering sweet nothings.

“I’m here, Y/N, I’m right here with you,” Harry whispered.

“You humiliated me,” you cried into his chest. “And led me on.”

Harry winced. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If you let me, of course.”

You shut your eyes, letting the tears seep through. Could you forgive him? You wanted to, but could you?

“Please, Y/N. I’m not perfect,” he begged.

He wasn’t. But neither were you. What you were was right. Right for each other.

You looked up at him. “It’s gonna take a long time for me to get over this. You know that don’t you? You sure you want to stick around that long?”

Harry smiled and suddenly everything was okay.

“That sounds perfect.”

The signs as I know them
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Aries:</b> I am actually not supposed to get along with Aries but two of my best friends are both Aries. You guys have so much energy it's amazing. You always come up with new things to do. Though you tend to tease the people you like a lot, if anyone else tries to do that you will break their face. If you have an Aries in your life, nothing will ever be boring.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> I know so many Tauruses and I really like them all. My general friends group are mainly Tauruses. In my experience they are all quite different from the stereotype but they are all generally really relax and good hearted people. Stubborn and enjoy chilling with a smaller group of people, they are no party goers. They have a very comforting nature.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> contrary to popular belief Geminis are lovely people. Very smart, great listeners and talkers and always fun to be around. They are very social and have a lot of friends. Life of the party and very influential. They can snap out at you but they never mean to hurt you. Geminis are a great friend to have.<p/><b>Cancer:</b> I don't know many Cancers but they are very emotional people which they either let out or try to hide with a lot of sarcastic remarks. They can really be quite mean when they try to hide their feelings. Needy but they have a lot of love for you and you need to learn how to deal with that. A Cancer's love is the warmest you can receive.<p/><b>Leo:</b> my sister is a Leo. Leos are beautiful people. In my experience they are very artistic and warm hearted, even the boys. They love luxury and being spoilt. They are quite popular and maybe a little conceited sometimes but they have a soft spot for people they love. Will destroy you if you mess with them.<p/><b>Virgo:</b> I get along really well with Virgos. My other two best friends are Virgos. In my experience they are very smart and ambitious. Are both ridiculously messy and organized at the same time it's confusing. You can always trust a Virgos jugement. They can hide their feelings well so they can come off as fake but take time to get to know them. But once you earn a Virgo's loyalty they will be there for you forever.<p/><b>Libra:</b> Libras are so versatile. I've seen lots of different Libras. But generally they are all social and chatty especially if they feel comfortable around you. Have the sweetest laughs. Don't get on a Libras bad side, their death stares are terrifying. They tend to be a little clingy but that only means that they care and want to keep you safe. They have this calming nature about them, if you feel stressed go to a Libra, they'll sort you out.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> okay ngl Scorpios are difficult for me. They tend to be drawn to Capricorns a lot. Though they are charming and very deep, they get jealous very quickly. They don't mean it badly, they just care a lot. I feel like they tend to drown in their own sadness a lot, because they're scared no one will give them the love they need. Are very misunderstood, and very emotional. But once a Scorpio falls in love with you, you will be loved forever.<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> Sagittariuses are really beautiful. In my experience they want so much more then than most people. Crave freedom and adventure. Though they have very individual thoughts, I feel they sometimes follow the crowd a lot. They are scared of rejection but there really is no need to fear that. Go out there and think for yourself! Stand up for what you believe in, you won't regret it.<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> though I am a Capricorn myself I know a lot of other Capricors. Capricorns are really hard to read, they seem to have the same expressions most of the time. They are really deep though, have a lot on their mind. Highly ambitious, they judge themselves more than anyone else. Always seem distant, Capricorn is the guy or girl in school everyone knows but no one really knows anything about.<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> my boyfriend is an Aquarius. You guys are so aloof, always seem to be dreaming. Get caught up in their own world a lot. Very artistic and seem to love the past on which they built the present. But they can be so detached. Never seem to say anything real to you, don't feel genuine but I know you don't mean it like that. Let the important people know how much you care, it would mean so much to them.<p/><b>Pisces:</b> I know quite a few Pisces and I really like you guys. You are so genuine and smart. Have their goals set and know exactly where they want to be. Good listeners, trust a Pisces when it comes to advice on relationships. I honestly just wanna cuddle you. But Pisces can be a little selfish sometimes but with all the love you give, you can get away with that.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
okay does anyone else with bpd do this PLEASE HELP?????

 So what I will do is just be walking and randomly think of something like example my mom dying so i play scenarios in my head of everything of what I will do, how I will feel what I will say how the organizing will go for the funeral where I will move because I live at home with her, how am I going to pay rent or if I will live with someone else. If im still gonna have a job and it changes with every scenario but like i can do this for 10 minutes and then think of someone else dying and do the same thing until i am so overwhelmed i am about to have a panic attack or so depressed i wanna kill myself  I dont know if this is just me being a freak or if it is an actual thing and im not allone with this. My doctor says it is obsessive thinking but is that ocd or bpd or nothing PLEASE HELP?