It's been so long since I read the books or watched the movies, could you tell me why snape was a bully, etc? Or give me a link to read up on it? I honestly can't remember anything other than the fact that the patronus thing that helped harry in the woods was snape's
Hi, i’m not sure about links I can actually give you to read up on it because most of the “antisnape” thing stems from people who read the books and have reached that conclusion. I can kinda give you a run down though, but I think the best thing would be re-read the books especially when you’re older and more mature :)
Snape grew up in an abusive household, which many people think gives him the right to be a dick to people because he was broken, but at the same time do not see that Harry and other characters have come from abusive households and did not feel the need to be so hateful
Snape used to creep and watch Lily from the bushes as a child, and when he got caught, he tried to turn her against her muggle family and her sister.
Snape leered after Lily for years, and hated James Potter for having a crush on her as well. I will agree that the marauders were special dicks to Snape and only Snape, which was wrong, but it was also school time and Snape wasn’t exactly the nicest guy either? James and Sirius were compared even by the teachers to Fred and George, and it seems their rivalry with Snape was similar to Harry’s rivalry with Draco. Anyways, the point was that he would tell her off for being friends with Potter and Black, with no regard to her wishes
Snape actively tried to expose Remus as a werewolf and actually ended up doing that because he was resentful. In fact, his prejudice against him was so strong that he made a class of third years look it up just to out him?
He hung around with the Youth Death Eaters Club or whatever and actually sympathized with them
Lily was the only friend he had that wasn’t Slytherin Death Eater and he called her a “mudblood” in a very nasty way as well after he got bullied by the Marauders (who incidentally actually grew up and changed). People don’t just blurt out racial slurs against their friends unless they believed them to begin with
He then grew up and actually actively became a Death Eater whereas the Marauders and Lily (with the exception of Peter of course) joined the Order of the Phoenix. The Death Eaters murdered and terrorized for years and Snape was a part of that.
Snape was the one who heard the prophecy about a child bringing down the Dark Lord and was so loyal to Voldemort that he immediately went and informed him. He was happy to have a family and a baby die until he realized that family was Lily Evans’ family. He was also happy to let James and Harry die as long as Lily was safe, which is pretty disgusting.
He may have then been recruited by Dumbledore, and yes, he may have had a part to play in appearing like a “large overgrown bat” but it doesn’t mistake the deep look of loathing he gave Harry, a 11-year old boy, the first time they made eye contact.
Not only that, but Snape went out of his way to make sure Harry struggled in Potions, goading and taunting him from their very first lesson, and making life difficult for him. Harry was actually quite good at potions, he got an E in it without Snape breathing down his neck as he puts it. If a teacher cannot even develop their subject in all students, what are they good for?
Let’s also not forget that he was so loathed as being a massive bully that Neville’s greatest fear was Professor Snape, a category that was actually comprised creatures such as giant spiders, banshees and dementors by his classmates. Imagine being such a scary bully of a teacher (force-feeding poison to Trevor) that a 13-year old child’s greatest fear is you.
I also understand that to keep up appearances, it was important for him favor Slytherins, but he didn’t have to be so cruel to Harry and his friends.
He purposefully goaded Sirius Black in OOTP as being useless to the Order, even though he of all people should have known (being so close to Dumbledore) that Sirius had no choice. Old rivalries or not, that’s an remarkably cruel thing to do.
Speaking of OOTP, the Occlumency classes were particularly torturous for Harry, where Snape attacked him and fished out horrible experiences from Harry’s childhood for fun. He seemed to take pleasure in hurting Harry and didn’t teach him anything at all, and made sure to embarrass Harry whenever he could about “Remedial Potions”. Not only that, but he didn’t even stop to listen to Harry after he saw the memories in the Pensieve but just cancelled the classes without telling Dumbledore. Snape was so sure Harry was just like James that he was okay with Voldemort possessing Harry rather than accept any alternative.
Basically Snape was a man who hated a child for having survived an attack he made sure happened, who hated a child for having the same eyes as the woman he loved and the same face as the man he hated, and he was so bitter that Lily never loved him back that he bullied most children. Snape never admitted Voldemort was wrong, just that he loved Lily, and that’s the only reason he ever joined forces with Dumbledore. Being evil came naturally to Snape, if it weren’t for Lily dying, he would have happily ended up alongside Voldemort. I refuse to believe that a man with such horrible moral principles is a hero. To everyone who says Snape was faking it, he really, truly, was not. he was a Death Eater long before. And to everyone who says James and Sirius are the same, they really aren’t. They were the kind of boys like Fred and George, who played questionable practical jokes and pranks, and then outgrew them to fight the war. Besides, they supported Remus as a werewolf for years, and would have died for each other. Snape doesn’t even come close to them.
Ok something very exciting happened to me last night. I have been on another planet literally since and just can’t keep it to myself anymore. I ran it by some friends on here I trust a ton (sslarrysettingsail, bromanceshmomance, and pianolouis) and decided to go ahead and share. It’s super long though, so you may want to grab a beverage and get comfy.
I'm naming her Bella. I will not allow you to butcher and mesh two more names. Her name is Carlie. Deal with it.
Why can't I fight with you and momma papa? I want to show the Volturi that I'm not a scared little girl. Anyone threatens to kill my family, I refuse to run away
Carlie, how many times have I told you? No throwing knifes in the house. You could hurt Renessmee or yourself. Be more careful.
C'mon kiddo. I'll teach you how to fight.
*scoffs* It'd be best if I teach her. You get frustrated too easily Emmett.
Carlie, your growth is more rapid than Renessmee's. Your genes must be slightly different from hers. It could be an attribution to a power we haven't discovered yet.
It's so sweet of you to help me make dinner for you and Renessmee. I feel like you and I hardly get any time together. Renessmee's always off with either her parents or Jacob and you keep to yourself most of the time. Just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone sweetie. You are my grandbaby afterall.
Your mother and I don't love Renessmee more than you Carlie. We love you both equally. She just relies on us more than you. You've always been more independent than your sister.
I'm more independent because you and mom are always with her and Aunt Rose takes care of me. But whatever. I don't care anymore. She'll be stuck here in Forks and you all will have to leave eventually and I will travel the world once I reach an acceptable age growth.
Where have you been Carlie?! You've been gone for three whole days! What on earth are you wearing?!
*sighs* Relax mom. I went to Comic Con in San Diego and cosplayed as Harley Quinn. I went to have some fun. Geez, it's like your trying to keep me trapped with you forever since Renessmee started solely hanging out with Jacob. I bet you really hate that imprint now cause you finally have to pay attention to your other daughter.
Carlie, come shopping with me. We never spend any girl time together since you started buying your own clothes.
But there's a Gotham marathon on today. How about I go shopping with you tomorrow then?
*watching the Romanian aired teach you how to fight and use weapons from a window in the house because Bella and Edward forbid him from teaching her himself* I don't see what the problem was with them Alice. I have no urge to drink wither of the girls blood and I adore Carlie. I should be teaching her how to fight, not those barbaric two.
I know Jas. But she finally made some friends that weren't a part of our family. Renessmee has Jacob and that's all she needs. Carlie is free to expand herself unbound to anyone. We don't want to smother the girl by crowding her all the time.
I can't believe Bella never told you about periods. Oh wait, I can. Look Carlie, you have nothing to fear. It's completely natural.
I HATE IT! I FEEL HORRIBLE ALL THE TIME AND I KEEP CRAVING CHEESECAKE AND CHEETOS!
Why do you hate me Carlie? I never did anything to you.
*rolls eyes and scoffs* Exactly. I hardly even know you and you're the guy my sister is bound to for life. You've hardly ever acknowledged me before. You've hardly ever spokento me and you have no interest in anyone but my sister. I don't like you because I know that the imprint you have with my sister isn't how you really are or were before my mom even started screwing with your life.
How can you say such a thing Carlie?!
Oh please. Shut up mom. You know I'm right. You only support that imprint because now, Jacob will forever be within your grasp. Just because you chose not to have him all those years ago doesn't mean you get to keep him around when he's moved on with his life.
Will you be my maid of honor?
I haven't seen or heard from you in nearly four years sis. And frankly I don't want to go to your wedding at all. You know your marriage won't end well. You're in love with Nahuel and whether you admit it or not, you don't feel the same pull if the imprint like you used to. Stop dragging Jacob along. Stop your relationship with him and decide what you want. God, you are worse than our mother. Make up your freaking mind.
I didn't think it would be possible, but I am actually best friends with someone who shares half her DNA with Bella Cullen.
Oh hush. I'm nothing like my mother and you know it. Now shut up so I can hear Tom Hiddleston say "mewling quim."
Are you sure about this Carlie?
Yes, for the thousandth time. I love you and I refuse to be bound to someone I met only once. I fell in love with you and that is what I've always wanted. To fall in love, not be bound by fate to become whatever my mate pleases.
Oh gosh, the Izumi fic was perfection Kat <3 Can't wait for the next part filled with badass missing female nin! It does sound like someday they would go back to Konoha though. Would they actually, or would they change their minds when they meet Yugito? Speaking of waiting for the next part, hows the Akatsuki!Kiba sequels coming along?
Tbh I haven’t really decided yet? It’s one of those things that’s still in the works. As for the Akatsuki!Kiba fics, want a snippet? ^-^
Neji doesn’t know why the Suna
mission leaves him so shaken.
No, that’s a lie, because he does know. He was familiar with Kiba
even before his encounter with Naruto, knew his cousin’s team and its worthless
members, the lack of skill that made him scoff when he heard they had been
entered in the Chuunin Exams.
Inuzuka Kiba, he had thought,
was the most worthless one of all, without Naruto’s hidden brilliance to redeem
himself. Inuzuka Kiba was a clown and a loudmouthed braggart and an obnoxious
façade of a shinobi, who would end up a chuunin when he decided to put in the
effort and never rise higher than that. Even after learning the truth about his
father’s death, Neji hadn’t spared the other genin a single thought.
And then he’d woken up one
morning, barely a week after Tsunade’s appointment, to grim faces all across
the village, whispered rumors that he couldn’t—wouldn’t—believe. He’d kept on
not believing right up until he met with the rest of his team, and Gai had
stared at them with an expression Neji had never seen him wear before.
Village elder Shimura Danzō is dead, he’d told them. Inuzuka Kiba, his murderer, has been
declared an S-rank missing-nin and is to be captured alive by any means
Neji had stared,
uncomprehending. Impossible to imagine that the braggart twelve-year-old he’d
watched fight just a handful of weeks ago could be a missing-nin, and especially an S-rank one. Ludicrous to think that
he’d killed a war hero, a veteran noted for paranoia and caution, said to be
nearly on par with the Sandaime Hokage.
It’s true, though. Neji hasn’t
thought about much else in months, because that braggart twelve-year-old is now
a dangerous sixteen-year-old, part of Akatsuki and trying to take over the
He rubs his arm unconsciously,
hardly seeing the door to the Hokage’s office before him. Tenten is occupying
Lee, mostly by waving her newest set of kunai under his nose and cooing over
them like other people do kittens, and Gai is speaking with a tired-looking
Kakashi, which leaves Neji alone with his thoughts.
It’s not the most comfortable
place to be.
There’s a bone-deep bruise on
his arm, shades of black and purple even days after the Suna mission. He can’t
remember the last time someone bruised him, but Kiba managed it, even in the
bare half-second they actually fought.
That encounter in Wind Country
was the first time Neji has seen Kiba since the Chuunin Exams. Hinata and her
team had encountered him a few months after he joined Akatsuki, and Neji can
remember their faces when they returned, pale and horrified and shaken right
down to the core. He thinks he understands it a little better, now.
Inuzuka Kiba is supposed to be loud and
aggravating and loyal, steady and steadfast and devoted. The shinobi who
stopped them outside of Suna, who barred their way and so easily tore through
the Kiri nin accompanying them, was only the Kiba that Neji knew in the most
superficial of ways.
Do you remember when you were with Eddie & you told me about your 3's list?
My 3's list?
Yeah, you know, three guys you could cheat on Eddie with.
*snorts* oh, right. My 3 list.
You don't still HAVE that, do you?
Your 3 list. Do you still have it?
Uh...probably somewhere. Why?
*clears throat* I was just wondering if Oliver was still on it.
*smirks & crawls over to him* Babe, you know that's not a serious thing, right?
what do you mean?
*laughs* even if Oliver had given my fangirl self the time of day when I was with Eddie, I wouldn't have slept with him.
*blinks* you wouldn't have?
*laughs* Who do you think I am, Bear? You think 'he's on my three list!' would've sufficed if Eddie had caught us in bed together?
*blushes fiercely* No, I guess not.
*cups face* Babe, you've got nothing to worry about. *kisses him* You're the only one I want.
*after many kisses & sweet nothings whispered* But is Oliver still--
*rolls eyes & gets off him* oh, for crying out loud.
Wait, Iris, I didn't mean-
You most certainly did. *starts to walk away*
Calm down. I'll be right back. *dashes up the stairs & comes back 10 minutes later* Found it!
*shifts towards her, eyes wide* What did you... *spots piece of paper she's holding* Oh.
*hands paper over* Take a look for yourself.
*scans list of names & frowns* He's still on it.
This doesn't make me feel any better, Iris.
*crosses arms* that's the original list. I only updated it once, a couple months after I'd moved in with Eddie.
*still frowning* where's that one?
*makes circling motion with her finger*
*checks the other side* This one looks pretty much the same. I don't see-- *jaw drops*
*starts to grin* See something you like, hun?
Am...Am I...? *squeaks*
I'm in the number 2 spot!
That's one above Oliver, I believe.
*still gawking* I don't understand.
*comes & sits next to him on the couch* After you told me how you felt when I was with Eddie, I had a lot of feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. Then when Eddie got all secretive on me I started thinking about you even more, and how my best friend would NEVER keep secrets from me the way my boyfriend was doing.
*winces* sarcasm is warranted.
in the past. *waves it off*
*swallows hard & nods*
That night when I came back to my dad's & you were there reassuring me, I felt like that was a safe place to put them. My feelings for you.
On your 3 list?
*nods* On my 3 list.
Did Eddie ever see it?
*laughs* Are you kidding? If Eddie had seen the updated version, he would've figured out what was up right away, even before I did.
And what was up?
*smiles & gently kisses him* I was in love with my best friend.
*has warm fuzzies* Iris...
So, you can keep that if you like. Oliver's name is still on it - BENEATH yours though. I don't have a need for it anymore. I haven't looked at it until today in over two years.
*nuzzles & kisses* yeah. You're all I want, Bear. If I can't have you, there's no one else I want. Not even a one night stand with a celebrity.
Do YOU have a 3 list? *raises eyebrows*
You heard me.
*sighs & then laughs* I have a 1 list.
*eyebrow furrow* What's a 1 list?
*pulls out wallet & digs out tiny scrap of paper inside & hands it to her* Same thing as a 3 list. Except mine only has 1 name on it.
*jaw drops when she reads it* I'M the only name on your 3 list??
*grins & pulls her close* Yep.
But of all he gorgeous celebrities, even SCIENCE NERDS, you only chose--
You're the only one I've wanted since the day that I met you.
Getting a chance with you? 10 times better than any hook up with ANY celebrity.
*sighs contently & kisses him* I love you, Barry Allen.
I love you, Iris West.
*nuzzles & pulls away after a while* So what are you going to do with my 3 list?
Give it back to you. *hands it over* You decide what to do with it.
*grins* Mmk. *pecks him in the cheek, stands up & heads to the roaring fireplace*
Wait, Iris, what are you doing?! *speeds over*
Getting rid of it. I don't need it anymore.
Well, maybe you should keep it. You know, as a keepsake.
*eyes him suspiciously* Why do you want it?
*I* don't want it. It's yours. I gave it back to you. So you--
*swallows* I mean, you ranked me ABOVE Oliver, so...
OHMYGOD. *rolls eyes & shoves it into his hand* You keep it. It'll be YOUR keepsake. *walks back to the couch & sits down*
It's not really MINE, so--
*gives him THE LOOK* one more word, Barry, and I WILL throw it to the flames. Not even your superspeed will stop me.
*nods & swallows* Right. *tucks paper into pocket & comes to sit next to her* So...
*irritation fades away & she pulls him close, kissing him* Now I get some one-on-one time with #2 on my 3 list.
*pulls back after a few kisses* I thought you just said--
I swear to God, Barry, if you don't just kiss me--
*speeds them up their bedroom, drops her on the bed & takes off t-shirt, then hovers over her & kisses her, lingering*
*moans* Don't tell my boyfriend about this. He'll be extremely jealous.
*restrains groan* On my life. *mutters & kisses her again*
Just did (as of 4/2/17) a bit of an edit, b/c I watched the 1.08 scene & realized it's actually called a 'three' list, not a 'threes' list. So I changed all those & added a short line to something Iris said early on.
Could u suggest some good jikook fanfics with angst. No vkook though please. Vmin is fine 💜 I really can't find any good fanfics. With good storylines
Okay this is a list of most angsty fics I’ve read. But I more than likely forgot some. I recommend going on AO3 and just searching for angst fics by outting it in the “additional tags”. There’s like 700 fics for angst, I’m sure you’ll find one you like 😊😊
This list has I think one fic with side tae/kook and a few with side V/min and Min/joon!
Hey hey hey ! Can I request a scenario w/ Oikawa where he just keep complaining about his gf and breakups to his girl childhood friend. But she has the biggest crush on him and one day she just get angry and confess her love to him like "You keep complaining but you can't even see that I love you !" Thank you in advance ♡
“I got dumped again y/n-chan! Can you believe this?!” Honestly you could, who could put up with him whining like this.
You knew he actually never did whine with his previous ‘conquests’ but with you it was whine central and you were getting very fukin tired. It didn’t help matters that you had a crush on him. Hearing him talk about whenever he got a new girlfriend, and how she was so pretty, got on your nerves. How could he not see what was right in front of him!
You’ve been his friend, best friend, like Hajime, since your were toddlers! So why? Why didn’t he notice? He just saw you as friend of course, you thought grumbling.
He did notice when you stopped paying attention to his whining- “I’m not whining!”
He pursed his mouth into a pout, and called your name, “Oi y/n-chan you weren’t listening to me!”
“Listening to you whine?”
He gasped, fake tears in his eyes as he grasped his school shirt over his heart, “I have not been whining!”
“You were so whining, because you were complaining that she said you never made time for her!”
“You’re so rude y/n-chan!” At that you stuck your tongue out, shrugging. “Someone has to put you in your place Tooru.”
“I already have Iwa-chan for that!!”
This was how it would go every single time one of his girlfriends broke up with him. Him whining and you sitting there listening, like the good friend you are. Well not listening to him per say, just there as a witness.
Every single time you had to ‘be a witness’ to Tooru’s whining, your patience slowly ran out. You wanted and, at the same time, you didn’t want to confess to him. I mean, have you seen the girls he’d go out with? Yeah. Nothing like you.
The third years discovered your plight when they were second years. (Were you that obvious? No y/n just who could stand that idiot that long hm? Even Iwaizumi didn’t.) They actually offered to tell Tooru that a girl liked him, one who was friends with him but you said no, wanting to do it yourself.
Now you were the one whining to Hajime about how much Tooru whined (whine-ception) and Hajime just looked at you with an amused face. “None of this would happen to you if you, I don’t know… confess!”
“No buts. You gotta tell it to his stupid face just so he can get a damn hint.”
You sulked after that conversation and went home, not wanting to stay for practice, which was weird to Tooru since you always stayed.
The next day you were brooding.
“Hajime I’m not brooding!”
“Okay I am. And I’ll do it. Maybe.”
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the day) you were in the same class as Tooru and instead of a greeting, you were greeted with the fact that he had a date tonight, and had a good feeling for it.
Now you were definitely broosulking (brooding and sulking combined ain’t I funny), and put on your fake smile.
“I’m happy for you Tooru!”
“But you don’t sound happy y/n-chan.”
“I’m just tired, didn’t get much sleep yesterday.”
After that he let you be. You had your whining tree, where you always meet up when he sends you a text. Of course after a few days Tooru had another girlfriend (he had to get so many because the world was going to end-) and you got a text to go to your tree. And were back on the receiving end of yet another complaint about his new girlfriend. You wanted to groan and tear your hair out, or kill Tooru. You were contemplating the second option quite seriously.
“I’m trying to make time for her and she keeps complaining that I’m not! I’m the captain, so of course I have to be at all the practices, and make sure everything’s back in place after we’re done! But she still fights me because I’m not making enough time!”
“Well, aren’t you supposed to be with her right now instead of whining to me?”
“But I want to be with you y/n-chan.”
Sure, you sarcastically thought, that’s why you have a girlfriend you’re whining about right?
You shake you head and stand up, imploring him to do so as well. When he does, you begin pushing him back into the school, away from the tree.
“Go to her. So you don’t have to whine to me tomorrow again!”
“Have you been learning from Iwa-chan?!”
It all came to a head of course, a few weeks later. Tooru, not her, had broken up with her, and he was beginning to get on a long tangent, complaining about her (of course). You felt your eye twitch, gritting your teeth as he payed you no heed at how pissed off you were getting. Just when you thought he would stop he paused for a breath before continuing.
Your patience had run its course and you were ready to burst. You stood up, taking your bag and gave him a solid ‘thwack’ with it, hissing. “You keep complaining about girls but you can’t even see that I love you!” you yelled out, disturbing some birds from their slumber.
You raised your bag again, hitting him before realizing what you had blurted out. You didn’t even have the energy to blush, just weakly glared at him before turning to walk away.
Our dear Tooru-chan was shocked, and just watched you walked away. He raised his hand to call out to you but by now you were walking into the school. He dropped his hand, mulling your words over in his head. He didn’t know you felt that way. Okay he had a hint but…
Now he felt bad, we have a sad Tooru in our hands, and he stood up just as the bell rang. He brightened up because he would be able to talk to you in class, and maybe ask you when you started liking him? Loving him even.
When he arrived at the classroom, he saw that you had moved your seat and was talking to your friend. He could see you were ignoring him and he sat in his regular seat, pouting.
When classes ended he went straight to the third years, panting as he had ran from the classroom to the gym where they were.
“Iwa-chan y/n-chan just confes-”
“We know dumbass, she told us. Congratulations for just staying there doing nothing by the way.”
“Were you really that oblivious? Who could stand to hear your ass when you got whining Oikawa?” That was Takahiro (takashit-) talking, looking grim.
He tore off again, leaving everything behind and rushing to meet you halfway to your house. He caught up to you, stopping in front and panting.
“What? Came here to tell me you don’t feel the same way? Yeah I figured as much.”
“Wait what? No! I love you too!”
“Oikawa, if you say like a friend I’m never talking to you again.”
“I do love you. I just didn’t want to admit it… you’ve been with me since we were kids and I thought you wanted someone less annoying.-”
So, Prison Break will be back in a matter of hours.
And to a lot of you, that may mean nothing.
But it means a hell of a lot to me.
Prison Break first aired when I was fourteen. I don’t remember much about the night itself, but what I do remember is kicking up a real fuss when my brothers outvoted me on the choice of programming, the two of them commandeering the TV remote and forcing me to watch the pilot of this new prison show instead of the episode of House that I had apparently very much wanted to watch at the time. After that night, though, House certainly never took precedence in my schedule ever again, because I had fallen hard for Prison Break in a way that I never had with a show before (or since), my soul already eagerly sold to it before the credits were even rolling on the first episode.
For the next four years of my life, it was my obsession, my joy, my greatest love, the one thing I could talk endlessly about (particularly any part related to MiSa, my OTP of all OTPs), and the mere thought of which would always make me happy. It led me to my first fan forum, to amazing friends (who I am still in touch with to this day), and also brought me into the world of fanfiction, which in itself became (and remains) a hugely important part of my life.
As it went on, the show not only taught me life lessons like sacrifice and making difficult decisions and taking responsibility for your actions; it also taught me about myself, and what I wanted and valued and believed. And, as with any show that truly pulls you in, the characters were always far more than just actors spouting lines– they were like family to me, and I celebrated and struggled and grieved with them through four incredible and traumatising seasons. I genuinely cried more tears for them and their pain than I ever did over anything else in my own (obviously very fortunate and privileged) life.
The same year that Prison Break ended, I graduated high school and was accepted into medical school, a career that I had chosen for several very good reasons, not the least of which was because my still-forming teenage self had looked at Dr Sara Tancredi and had seen exactly the kind of woman I wanted to grow up to be. About five years after that, I was freshly graduated as a doctor, and finally got the chance to meet Went, Dom, and Sarah at my first Comic Con, and was able to thank them in person for the beautiful thing that they had helped create, and which– in Sarah’s case in particular, of course– had helped to create me.
Today, I’m exactly a month shy of my twenty-sixth birthday, and have been a doctor for almost two and a half years, having even worked briefly in the prison system during that time, among many other things. I may not have the posters hanging on my wall anymore, and the cardboard box full of memorabilia and carefully folded cranes might be tucked away in a closet out of sight, but even still, this show has never left me. It’s in the “Be the change you want to see in the world” ring that I’ve worn every day for the last nine years. It’s in the tiny origami flower that has been tattooed on the back of my left ear since I was nineteen. It’s in the crane that was tattooed on my left wrist two years ago in Chicago, with those same old forum friends beside me, all coming together for the first time in our ten-year friendship to visit the city and the prison that had been the setting for the story that had brought us into each other’s lives. But even more than the marks on my skin, its mark is still inside me, a permanent building block in the foundation of who I am.
In the last eight years, there’s only one thing about this show that I’ve always regretted, one thing that I have literally wished (on shooting stars, four-leaf clovers, birthday cakes, 11:11, dandelions– you name it, I’ve wished on it) that I could change. Of course, I know that happy endings don’t always exist; that reality is hard and cruel and whatever, so supposedly TV should be too. But that never stopped me from wishing that there could have been just one more happy ending out there to give to this story.
Then, about two years ago, something happened. Stars– both astronomical and celebrity– aligned. Whispers like ‘reboot’ and ‘season 5′ floated around, and then suddenly, startlingly, my dream had started looking like a possibility. A possibility that eventually turned into a miraculous definite, the confirmation followed by months of filming and promoting that I promptly did my very best to ignore or hide from, because I was convinced that if I thought about it too much– let myself hope too much– it would somehow all disappear again; would revert to being merely an elaborate fantasy that I’d concocted in my head, a silly fangirl’s headcanon to rectify her OTP’s heartbreak as well as her own.
But tonight, it’s all becoming real. Tonight, for the first time in eight years, I will turn on my TV and see my character-family again; will experience that old feeling afresh. And though there’s certainly always the chance that the new season will somehow be a disappointment, or will only add more pain, it’s a chance I’m so very willing to take.
A chance that I’m so, so grateful even exists.
So, if you can, tune in tonight (9/8c on Fox). Even if you’ve never watched before, even if you think that frankly I’m probably just overhyping it and it’s actually nowhere near as great as I claim. Do it anyway, and show the network and showrunners that what they have done means something to the viewers out there– to the people like me, who got far more from this show than just a fascinating story, who might have been a very different person today if they’d managed to wrestle the TV remote off of their brothers on that one night a dozen years ago. And who knows; a success for Prison Break now, like with The X-Files and Gilmore Girls before it, could mean reboots– and therefore justice– for even more beloved shows down the line, and even more opportunities for other fans to re-experience the things that helped to shape them into who they are.
And, well, this moment may have been eight long years in the making– but whatever happens, it was worth it.
YOUR HP HEADCANONS GIVE LIFE nalu tho. She finds out he's in love with her because they were in potions together and she asked him to describe what the love potion he made smelled like and he was so entranced and just THIRSTY for Lucy he just actually says the truth and she's like "wait I use Dove soap and I had coffee this morning and wait I read paperback books too oh. OH" and he just sputters and can't believe he ACTUALLY SAID IT OUT LOUD and Levy gapes WHAT ARE YOURS THO PLS
Ok so i’m not sure if you meant what my favourite smells would be (I am tragically single so nothing lmao) so I’m going to assume you mean how do I picture nalu getting together
(Your’s is supes adorable tho and we can never have too much nalu fluff so plz write yours <3)
It starts in Year Six
They have been in mutual pining/love since year three.
Natsu fell first a week into year two when Lucy jump kicked a boy that was trying to hex a first years pet frog. No teacher believed Lucy could be so violent and so her house received no punishment. When Natsu asked her how she managed to get away with it Lucy looked at him slyly and said “Teachers always take your side when you’re the good kid bcus you never do anything bad, so no one believes it when you actually do something bad” before just walking away to class and humming to herself
Lucy’s slytherin heritage and Natsu’s love were confirmed on the same day praise
Lucy took longer but she found her way there. She can’t pinpoint a moment but suddenly all the prospects her father brought to her for marriage turned from resigned disapproval to outright disgust
They weren’t sweet enough or goofy enough or too boring or not good enough with animals or no cute obsession with fire or pink hair
Everyone else knew
And they had to watch these fools dance around one another for yeAR S and there may or may not have been a school wide betting pool on for when they would get together.
Cana started it, Gildarts was the first to lose, and surprisingly Evergreen was the one to win it
Even tho she was no longer enrolled and couldn’t technically collect
So Year Six:
Lucy is renting a small cottage in Magnolia, a town a short train ride away from Hogwarts and suspiciously close to forest known for its wild and rare animals. Her and her father had a… disagreement… about bloodstatus and what she would be doing after Hogwarts.
Natsu is basically living with her
Despite her weak protests
One day in the middle of advanced potions Natsu and Lucy are working seamlessly without even looking at one another, while somehow still bickering endlessly about whether to follow the book (Natsu Dragneel I cannot afford to experiment on another potion I need good grades to keep my job at the Brewery in town and I need my job to pay for rent unless you’d enjoy being homeless) (But Lushi this would mature much quicker if we used 3/4′s newt eye instead of 3/8′s and then substituted bone of Jackle in for the witch’s bane) and Levy makes a comment about them acting like a married couple
Natsu: Pshh, that’s stupid
Lucy: Yeah Levy, we work much better than any married people we know
Natsu: Besides how can act like a married couple if I haven't even bought Lucy’s ring yet
Porly: what - also Mr. Dragneel your potion is set to explode if you don’t add wart of the greater toad or some other base
Natsu: ah shit
Juvia: WH A T
Levy and Juvia: OH MY GOD
Levy -screaming out the door into the corridor and in the general area of the open door where Gajeel and Gray are in their Gryff/Slytherin class- :GET YOUR BLOODY ASSES IN HERE THESE TWO BELLENDS JUST GOT ENGAGED WITHOUT EVEN DATING
Juvia: -is crying too hard to understand past howling sobs-
*Natsu’s potion explodes*
Juvia will not stop hinting for Gray to propose for MONTHS and Gray’s old hatred for Natsu reappears with a vengeance bcus he can’t even talk to the Slytherin house mermaids without being swarmed with proposal questions/advice
How does Juvia even know how to speak in the mermaid native tongue???? and why do they protect her like their own?? Like sure she found a way to transfigure parts of her body to water and can spend hours in the lake
Gray has be awoken by the sound of screaming first years as Juvia swim by their glass under the lake.
He groggily blows his girlfriend a morning kiss, and then a swarm of mermaids start violently signing for him to put a ring on it
being Gray is suffering
This prompts Gajeel to finally ask Levy on a date as he will not be outdone by his dumbass cousin. He will be twice, no, triple the boyfriend Salamander could be!
Levy is just thankful as they have essentially been dating for over two years (including kissing) but Gajeel was too dense to actually connect the label with their actions
She is surprised at how much of a romantic he is though and understand that dating Gajeel and having a thing with him are very different things
This sparks a sort of ‘date war’ amongst the boys as to who can woo their partner best.
Gajeel always fucking wins and no one understands how??????
And that’s how Natsu and Lucy get together! Sting and Rouge actually get married before nalu tho, as both settle into their careers before getting married. Natsu becomes a specialist in fire beasts and has to travel quite a bit, and Lucy writes books of their adventures and details the beasts. Her book and thesis on the biology and the resulting anthrozoology of the regions become part of the class mandatory list at Hogwarts.
Please please please share with the world the story of how you convinced your high school to take you to Mega for "community service"
Oh my god okay so. This is one of my favorite stories and it’s also sort of the story of how I got into cosplay.
I went to this really fancy high school in Florida. Super preppy, super homogenous, basically the high school from every bad teen movie but REAL. We had an anime club but it was really more like… all the nerds go and sit in the art room, talk about nerd stuff, and sometimes watch anime club.
Anyway. When I became an officer of the club (I can’t for the life of me remember if I was the secretary or the vice president) I realized that we were actually required to do community service in order to maintain our status as a club at this school. This was great in theory, but I looked around the room at my fellow club members and was like no way in hell are any of these people going to show up for community service hours I’m gonna get stuck doing like 200 hours by myself.
So I started trying to figure out how I could fix this little problem. And I came up with a really great idea that would let me do something that I’d always wanted to do and hinged entirely on my ability to bullshit authority figures like a champion.
I went to the dean of students and was like “Look. This club is already providing a really valuable service to the school by providing a safe space for students who otherwise would feel really ostracized by the rest of the community…” etc, etc in that vein for quite some time until the dean was like “OKAY OKAY WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
And I was like “I want to take the anime club to a convention in Orlando. It’s a gathering of other anime clubs from other schools and I want our club to use our community service hours to go as representatives of the school.”
And he was like “Okay sounds good, just get permission slips signed by everyone’s parents.” He asked me no questions and literally didn’t even look this up at all. I could have been taking us all to a strip club and he never would have known.
And that’s how we ended up with a school sponsored bus and driver taking my dinky little anime club (in all of our baby’s first cosplays) up to Megacon (along with our club supervisor who was dressed as Agent Smith from the Matrix) and I’ve been cosplaying ever since.
Little do the egg and toaster know that they've influenced each others lives far longer than they realize.;D
Where'd that little shrimp go? He owes me 1000¥ More for lunch.
He's probably near the playground!
-As they rush off towards the park, from around the corner of a building he peaked to check if the coast was clear.-
[-sighs-] Finally. I thought they'd never leave.
-Yet again, Genos was having his lunch in hiding from his usual band of bullies who liked to pick on him.-
[-sits down on the steps of the building he'd taken shelter in, having a small bento with the usual rice and pickeled raddishes his mother made for him.-] I can't believe they'd actually beat me for something like this everyday....Well, I better savor this since this'll likely be the only trip I'll ever take outside of home.
-As he ate his humble lunch, he couldn't help but enjoy his rare solitude as he watched a few birds fly over him towards a tree. As he felt like he could relax for a while, his guard immediately went up as the door behind him opened.-
Ugh, what a pain in the ass. That teacher really doesn't know the meaning of mercy, does he?
-Genos blinked as he looked up at the tall guy who came out of the building. He was a rather ordinary looking student, most likely a freshman. He had jet-black hair and very comfortable jersey, with an expression that seemed lackluster as he stared gloomily at a test paper in his hand.-
Hm? What's a kid doing here? You lost?
-He blinked as he looked down at him with a disinterested yet curious gaze. But before he could answer, he heard those kids from before hooting about getting some snacks from some elementary kids, and quickly dashed behind him to hide.-
Hm? [-He blinked as he looked at him using his legs like a wall, and watched as three burly boys came running towards the small park on the opposite side of the campus.-]...Ah, I see.
-Having figured out what was up, he decided to help him out.-
Follow me. I'll show you a good place...
-Blinking in confusion, he simply did as the young man told him and followed him. The "good place" he was talking about was the roof of one of the campus buildings overlooking the city. The two of them sat on the ledge, looking out at the view while Genos continued to finish his lunch.-
Thanks for showing me this place, Mister.
Don't call me "Mister." I ain't old. [-he growled with annoyance.-] And it's no big deal. I've been through that kind of stuff growing up, so I know it's best to go to places that are high and secluded.
-As Genos eats his food, Saitama hums as he stares a the sky, kicking his feet back and forth.-
So~ You kids out here for a field trip, or something? I've never seen your face around here before, so I assume your not from around here.
[-nods as he finishes his first few bites-] It's to see the difference between a rural enviroment and an urban one.
[-gags at the sound of that-] I always hated those kinds of field trips since they always expected us to write something insightful.
-Genos blinked at this reaction and couldn't help but snicker before finishing his last few bites. He was sure funny for a guy who was older than him.-
[-claps his hands-] Thank you for the food.
-Saitama, now lying on his side looks up as Genos closes his bento up and wrap it back in its scarf.-
Well, come on. I better get you back to your group before some teacher nags me for taking a brat up to the roof like this. Wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea like I kidnapped you or something...
-As he brushed the dust and debris off his pants, Genos looked up at him curiously.-
Why did you help me earlier? Didn't you have to go somewhere?
Huh? What makes you say that?
-He points to his test paper, which he looks at curiously.-
It says on the note that you were supposed to report to that teacher immediately-OWCH! [-whimpers as he knocks his head with the knuckle of his fist.-]
It's rude to look at adult's stuff like that.[-miffed at the kids creepily observant yet blunt response.-]
As for why I helped you out...[-He crumpled the paper into his pocket-] It's like I said. I was in your shoes growing up. It wasn't really my business, but it would have left a bad taste in my mouth to just leave you like that...the way most people did for me...
-Hearing such a simple reason brought a smile to his face as he nodded. Although there were a lot of shitty people like the three bullies, there were still some guys who weren't all that bad like this man.-
...I see. Thank you, Mister.
I told you not to call me "Mister." [-He grumbled.-]
-Some Years Later-
-As the Minis watch TV with reports on heroes saving a town, Gou looks up at Genos as he sits in his lap.-
Mommy, was Daddy 'always' your hero?
-He looked up as Saitama scolded Roku for trying to knock the controller out of his brother's hand with a flame pellet.-
...Mm, Well he reminded me of someone who was my 'first' hero after he took me in as his disciple...but let's keep that a secret, okay?
-Gou smiled and nodded as they continued to watch TV together.-
I know a lot of you assumed that Part 9 was the last part of IP, if you follow my side blog @tawnatalks then you know that I’ve answered this but for those of you who don’t surprise! Part 10 is a thing!
And I’m releasing it tonight n.n
Before it comes out, I just wanted to give myself a disclaimer since I’m sure at least one of you is going to be skeptical, and here it is. The ending for Immortal Pines was written over half a year ago, and has not changed since the release of the final episode. I have changed some minor terminology with things because of the show, but other than that, the story itself has not changed.
Once upon a time in the spring of 2014 there was a pll fan who had been watching Pretty Little Liars for 6-7 months. The pll fan really loved the show. The pll fan thought everything was brilliant! Especially the mystery of A, the main plot. Pretty much like anybody else who watched it. One day, the pll fan came across a video on youtube. Called “70 reasons why Aria is A”.(My very first AriA video.<3) “That’s stupid. Why would she be A? None of the girls are A! Why would anybody even think she has something to with her worst enemy?” the pll fan thoguht but decided to watch it. Just for fun and to see what “reasons” there were for her to be A. And after that, the pll fan’s eyes were opened. There was no way back now. The pll fan became a true and loyal “Aria is A believer”. There was no longer doubts and it was impossible to ignore all the clues around Aria. Once you’re in. there is no way out. That pll fan? Was me. One of the most harcore Aria is A believers there is.
There are so many things to say about this show. About the characters, storylines, writing and e.g. other A theories! There are literally clues for everyone. But Aria is probably the one with the most clues, hints and proofs. (Or maybe except Wren?) All the theories about her are awesome and clever. Mmaking one of the victims into the actual perpetrator, that is what I call a plot twist! They’ve could have done it so very good. And they almost did. It could have been an absolutely amazing story.
After the finale I watched a video on youtube with the spoilers for the original script for 6x10. They did not mention anything about Aria… though IF that script would have been the actual episode in the end, would they reveal Aria later in the series? Maybe as Uber A. Just wishful thinking? At least I feel like there was a bigger chance that she would. ESPECIALLY since she there is connections and parallels to Wren and Melissa, they would both be revealed originally. Now I kind of doubt it since Marlene said that the story of A is over. Just like that. Imo you can’t drag on a story for that long and then just say “game over”, then at once the story is done andimmediately there’s a time jump 5 years forward?
BUT I will watch the whole show. (Ahh…like the first seasons. The good ol’ days<3 Can’t wait to rewatch!) I will continue reading Aria theories. I will not hesitate to make my own theories about her. It’s still fun. I enjoy Aria theories more than any other theories. Actually, I would call Aria theories my actual hobby. I became so excited of the idea and now I’m stuck. Not that I want to let go either.
I’m sorry but unless I get a big ass fucking hella goodexplanation from Marlene and the other writers about Aria and her apparently non-shadidnes… maybe then I would sort of accept it in some way… that Aria is… innocent… (ugh) Well, OK I doubt I would truly accept it. To be completely honest. Yes, I KNOW it’s “JUST” a show and “JUST” a theory etc. BUT it is my LIFE. My passion.
I stayed up many nights just to think about PLL, of he great mystery and I could only fantasize what it would be like when they finally revealed Aria as A. I was… I AM, obsessed OK. I had several dreams about Aria getting reveladed because I was excited for an Aria is A theory video on youtube… This show… has destroyed me. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried to this show. I’ve been so happy and so angry and of course disappointed before, not like this though. Though I still remained hopeful. And for what? Apparently nothing.
I will always stick to this “Aria IS A. NO MATTER WHAT.” Always. Because… why are they way too many clues for her to not be involved then? If they made Aria A. Pretty Little Liars would be my favourite show… thing… EVER! One of the greatest mysteries ever created. Well, even though I just can’t let go. I am not good of explaining or convince you why Aria would make the best A or why I adore it so much. It’s just my opinion. Including “some” others. I guess I can’t express my disappointment enough. *Never ending sigh*
I’m not saying the Aria theories are perfect. Because they’re not. No theory is. I mean, you can’t be right on every single thing in your theory, right? Of course some things are far-fetched and some things which were considered as clues and hints, were maybe explained later in the show. But that’s not the point. There are still too much convincing and some really huge evidence that points to Aria Montgomery. That shouldn’t be ignored.
The “worst” I was expecting about Aria…. was “if she’s not A… Then she is at least being framed or she has a big, dirty secret.” But I guess “things went from worse to worser.” (To quote Hanna.) Well… “You know what they say about hope? Hope breeds eternal misery.” :( A certainly too accurate quote said by Spencer. I used to think that they would actually make something out of the clues, hints and evidence about Aria, that’s all….
Sure, not everyone can be pleased with A’s identity. I know there are many people hating on the Aria theories. Sure, you can dislike a theory. I dislike Wren theories, Melissa theories etc. Or, no, I don’t dislke the theoires. I just don’t like the idea of them being A. But it doesn’t mean I will ignore the facts. (And never be rude to someone because of a theory of theirs.) “There are no coincidences in Rosewood.” Ahh, the (in)famous quote by Marlene King. Used by probably every theorist ever. Buuut lol, there were apparently extremly many coincidences in Rosewood. Seriously though why all these clues, for all these years? WHY? WERE THE WRITERS JUST TEASING US THE WHOLE TIME? FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT? OR WHAT? MARLENE CAN YOU JUST TELL US ALREADY?
Well… I guess I take this way too seriously. I am way to dedicated. Too addicted. I need a life. Pll used to be so great… I am sorry. I just had to finally say all of this. In my dream world, the episode was just a parody or something and we will get to see the real finale soon. A finale that’s been worth the waiting.
That’s all for now.. end of rant. But; just for now. So if Marlene & Co. decided to “nah” “the Aria thing”. The potential… well… it’s your loss then. Suit yourself. I’m done. (OK, I will continue watching in January obviously lol.) Conclusion: I don’t think they will make her A, not as much as I used to believe. But I strongly believe she really is the real A. Umm… I need some DAMN good alternative ending… so… I guess the only way: is fanfiction. For every theory there is. To make it fair, haha. And in my wildest dreams.Or I may just check into Radley at once!
To ALL of the theorist out there I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING! And a special THANK YOU to all the Aria theorists out there. Thank you so much.
Merry Christmas! (if you don’t celebrate: hello, have a nice day! :3)
It’s been exactly a year since I posted my first wip of my Kirk cosplay and I’ve come a long way since then. So many of you followed and messaged me because of this cosplay, I’m still a little overwhelmed haha! I’m super happy and grateful. Thank you all so much for an awesome fandom year, my fellow Trekkies. ♥
Artist: scofflawn (Art here!) Beta: Eilie (I’m not so sure I should put their email here, but I’m sorry I’m so bad at keeping in touch!) Word count: 14k Rating: R Warnings: slight smut Summary: Dan is a complete mystery and Phil is background noise, And everyone just wants to escape the dead-end town they grew up in. High-school-ish AU. Author’s Notes: Thank you for your patience, I hope this somehow makes up for my months of absence <3
* Dex’s dads’ names are Jerome and David
* They met when David came over from Ireland to work one summer. When he went back home, they kept in touch. When he finished college (2 years later) David moved back to Maine, and he and Jerome started dating.
* They’ve been together since David was 21, and Jerome was 20
* Jerome is from a fishing background, and still has his lobster boat.
* David gets horribly seasick, (or at least claims to) and has never gone on the lobster boat.
* David works in IT. He loves to explain why he does, but no one understands what he’s saying.
* They use pet names a lot, especially “sweetie”, “honey”, and “love”.
* They decide they’d like to start a family, and an old friend from college offers to be a surrogate.
* A few months later, they have William Jerome Poindexter. He is biologically David’s, and named after David’s Grandfather William, and Jerome.
* The elementary school Will attends is in the next town over. Its a pretty long bus ride. Before starting school, his dads tell William to tell the other kids Jerome is his uncle. He doesn’t understand why, but goes with it.
* By the time he’s in middle school, people know about his “uncle”. Will gets teased and bullied about it a lot. He’s not one for words, and instead fights with his fists. Will gets suspended so many times, but it isn’t until the fourth time that he finally tells his dads why he’s getting into fights at school.
* They complain to the principal, and no one teases Dex in school anymore.
The bus home is a different story, but Dex won’t fight on the bus.
* He goes to high school in his hometown. He promised his dads he wouldn’t get into fights anymore. Its hard, but Dex soon finds he can bite his tongue, and let his anger out when playing hockey.
* While in his first year at school he has a boyfriend who he introduces to his parents. They break up when his boyfriend moves away.
* Dex gets an athletic scholarship to Samwell. His dads are so proud of him, and they take him out for dinner to celebrate.
* At the dinner Jerome proposes to David.
* They marry the following winter. Dex is best man. Its a small ceremony, with close friends and some family. Afterwards they honeymoon in Venice.
* They can’t make it to Parents’ Weekend at Samwell the first year, because they both caught a stomach flu.
* At Samwell, Dex is doing his best to make sure he doesn’t get into fights. He is mostly successful (except where Derek Nurse is concerned).
* He reverts to calling Jerome his uncle, and avoids talking about his family or his life too much.
* Whenever anyone mentions LGBTQIAP+ community, he stays quiet. This often misinterpreted as him being either against them, or not caring one way or another.
* All year Shitty is itching to give him a lecture, but Nursey always stops him.
* Dex is seriously surprised by the “1 in 4” statistic, and asks his team about it. He’s surprised to learn there could be so many people like him on campus, and he’s so happy that so many of them can be so open. He doesn’t explain this, and his team think he’s disgusted by the figure. Chowder tries to change the subject, but things are still kinda tense with Dex and the team for a while.
* Dex’s second year, his parents are able to come to Parents’ Weekend. He introduces them to a very shocked and confused team.
* They watch the game, and are the loudest parents at Faber. Dex is so embarrassed, but also really happy.
* After the game they go for dinner. They find out Nursey’s moms had to leave early (work emergency.) and take Nursey out with them.
* Jerome and David spend the entire meal letting Dex know that they know that he’s got a crush on Nursey.
* Afterwards they talk to him seriously, and let him know they like Nursey, and that their mutual pining is sweet, but annoying. Dex denies everything.
* Until a week later, when he tells them that they were right. His dads are supportive and tell him he should go talk to Nursey.
* Dex avoids talking to Nursey for 2 days. His dads find out, and encourage him to talk to Nursey.
* Eventually he does, and they start dating. Dex tells his dads, and their really proud of themselves.
* They get Nursey’s phone number, and occasionally ring him to see how he’s doing (Nursey’s moms do the same with Dex.).
*They also ring him with dad jokes, because they reason that Nursey hasn’t had nearly enough dad jokes in his life. Dex pretends to be embarrassed, and Nursey pretends to think the jokes are awful, but they actually both love that Jerome and David do this.
I am watching qaf again for the 1000 times and I just can't get over Justin and Brian's last scene in 2x02. Brian is so vulnerable and the scene is just beautiful and emotional... I need to know what you think bc I love the way you analyze b/j scenes
Ahhh, you are so lovely, thank you! And I love analyzing scenes, so this is a win-win. I actually have a couple of similar scenes analysis asks in my inbox at the moment, so friends, brace yourselves: it’s going to be a Queer as Folk analysis party. But yes — let’s talk about this scene, because it is stunning and saturated with symbolism and it makes my heart ache in the most beautiful of ways. Analysis below the cut!
"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
"Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
"Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
"I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
"You're right. I suck dick for money."
"Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
"Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
"Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
"It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
"When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
"All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
"She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
"It's never too late to get it back."
"I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
"You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
"Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
"I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
"You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
"Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
"Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
"I don't think we can be friends anymore."
"Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
"You're way too uptight about sex."
"I want to look good naked!"
"Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
"I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
"You don't really think [name] and I were..."
"Want me to kill him for you?"
"I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
"I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
"Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
"She hates me. She hates you, too."
"There's plenty of joy in my life."
"Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
"My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
"Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
"Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
"I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
"You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
"I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
"I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
"Who are you looking for?"
"This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
"Everything that's meant to happen does."
"You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
"Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
"Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
"I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
"Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
"Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
"If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
"You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
"I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
"Never underestimate the power of denial."
"Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
"How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
"Jesus, what is it with you?"
"I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
"See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
"Don't interrupt me, honey!"
"[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
"You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
"I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
"You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
"Uh, whose car is that out front?"
"Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
"In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
"She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
"I think you just became my personal hero!"
"Man, you are one twisted fuck."
"The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
"You know, this really doesn't concern you."
"I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
"I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
"Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
"In less than a year, I'll be dead."
"[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
"I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
"We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
"I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
"Well, at least I'm not ugly."
"This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
"[Name], are you masturbating?!"
"If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
"In a way, I'm dead already."
"You are so busted."
"I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."