i acted so foolishly



Summary: [Y/N] and Draco are playing in the fields behind her house, finally catching a glimpse of what a normal childhood is like, when a choice by her father and Lucius’ inevitable reaction causes Draco and her to be unable to see, to talk or to even associate ever again. 

Originally posted by blaming-the-nargles

“I’ll race you,” I challenged, mentally measuring the distance between where we were and the tree across the field.

He rolled his eyes, “Why run when there are brooms?”

I sighed, struggling to break Draco away from relying on magic and being ignorant to what normal children do.

“Are you saying this because you’re… scared?”

My taunting had the desired effect as a mist of competitiveness clouded his eyes. I grinned, triumphantly, at getting him to accept the race.

“3,” I started, readying myself. I’d already taken off my jacket and thrown it haphazardly to the side. Draco followed suit and placed a hand on the wall behind us, like I had done.

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Let me repeat, sleep deprivation is not fun nor does it make anyone look interesting. It is just pure suffering. I’ve had heart palpitations and shortness of breath since morning. 

I know I rant about it often but god damn, too often have I seen people romanticize sleep deprivation and mental illness to appear “cool” or “interesting”. An accessory to match their fucked ego. I also wish sleep deprivation could used as a sickness to take time off work but alas, life is not as such. 

It felt like a huge black cloud has been sitting on my face for the whole day… but luckily bed time draws near and I’ll be inside the covers any moment now. 

People, don’t stay awake longer than you have to. Please think again before staying up for another hour. Sure, a few nights hear and there of little sleep won’t do much damage but when it becomes chronic, that’s when we should start getting worried. The physical symptoms are very unpleasant but the mental ones are whole new level. Not only can it cause irritability but anxiety and depression, including psychosis! I feel truly unreal, out of touch of reality when I have had little sleep continuously. It actually feels like a waking nightmare, a simulation, a game. Then there are the delusions… now, they feel real as my fingers and toes. The most irrational of thoughts grow strongly in my head and gosh, it takes every bit of willpower not to surrender to them. I have in the past and have experienced much regret. I have acted so incredibly foolishly thanks to little sleep. 

So go to sleep. Don’t stay up. Drink water, meditate and sleep.