i absolutely hated the first tv shows ones i made for this challenge

Shots Fired

Word Count: 2440

Pairing: FBI Agent Dean x Pharmacist Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence, Some Angst, Some Fluff

A/N: Written for @dancingalone21 ‘s funny quote challenge. My quote was: “That attitude right there. That’s why I always got the extra cookie.” Also written for @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms Shit My Patient’s Say challenge. I used a ton of quotes from that one. They’re all bolded. 

A/N 2: Unbeta’d and unedited. Probably a shit ton of mistakes. My bad.

A/N 3: Most/All of the stories in here aside from being robbed (at gunpoint anyway) have happened to me in my career. More than once. Fun times. 

You left your 12 and a half hour shift at the pharmacy over 30 minutes late. Some asshole had decided to wait until 9:00 to come get their prescription filled that they needed right that second. Of course, they’d had the prescription in their hand for over three weeks. Not that you could turn them down. Your district manager would surely find out and chew your ass out for it the next day.

Grabbing your bags and sliding out of your car you realized Dean wasn’t home yet either. Your husband’s Impala was nowhere to be seen. Ever since he’d taken a job as an FBI agent, he’d been working crazy hours too. The two of you barely saw each other anymore and it sucked. Sighing, you trudged into the house and dropped your stuff, kicking off your shoes. You made your way into the kitchen, grabbing all the junk food you could find and a bottle of Captain Morgan before throwing yourself in a heap on the couch.

You were mindlessly watching TV when Dean came home, discarding his jacket and tie before he lifted your legs and sat down, resting your legs in his lap. “Rough day?”

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“The completely eaten bag of chips, the leftover ketchup on the plate where you probably had a frozen cheeseburger, oh and the uh…half drunk bottle of Captain Morgan that was totally full yesterday.” Dean pointed to the bottle in your hand and you rolled your eyes, sarcastically scoffing into the air.

“Good job, detective.

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Fight (DFMO Part 3)

Here we go! The third and last part of my little mini-series. I had so much fun writing this one, and I hope you enjoy. Much love. xo

DFMO: Part One // DFMO: Part Two

The following week after you had your fight with Harry, the two of you didn’t say a word to each other.

In your head, you told yourself that it was okay; after all, he turned out to be a jerk when it came to being anything other than a friend, and if that’s what he was going to be then you didn’t need him. You were quite independent enough to handle yourself without him, and you knew that you deserved somebody who didn’t play games with you.

But your heart said something different.

It was easy saying goodbye to a prospective boyfriend who screwed up, but it was harder to say goodbye to your best friend. And there were so many times throughout the week that you wanted to run to him and tell him about your day. You wanted to tell him about your ups and your downs, you wanted to talk to him about everything that happened even if only because you knew he cared.

At least, he used to.

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When We Collide (Part 3)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: PG-All

Parts: 1 | 2

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

The busy streets of New York seemed so empty, so gloomy and definitely not comfortable walking through. In the corner you could hear the faint sound of cars driving but so far on the road not a single car was in sight.

The only source of lights was the many ones from the building above. If you looked up you were able to spot a few people in the windows despite the time being in the middle of A.M. A woman standing in front of a stove, a pair on the floor above watching TV on the couch and if you looked to the left you could tell someone was about to go to bed.

At moments like these you would be in the stage of overthinking about everything but, it seemed so empty. You could tell that you were still drunk, your head was spinning heavily and your feet were so sore to the point of forming blisters.

But you were still so determined to walk home on your own.

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Man In Uniform {Part 2}

Fandom: Avengers/Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Series will feature issues around crime, being a victim of crime, etc.

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/Request: James Barnes is the local neighbourhood cop known for saving cats from trees and walking people home at night. It just so happens that he lives in your apartment building, in the apartment across from yours.

Prologue X, Part 1 X, Part 2 X, Part 3 X

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Check Please HP AU

ALRIGHT, so I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while but I have accepted that it not going to happen in full-fic format. So, here, the old “this isn’t a fic but oh wait it’s turned into a bit of a fic” format (a petals classic):

So, the key of a CP HP AU is that, in general, you have to get everyone in the same House because that’s how the quidditch teams work. And a quick glance (I haven’t read them bc I try not to read aus im going to write for fear of transference) tells me that others have done Hufflepuff and Gryffindor but if you know anything about me, you know there is nothing I love more than dismantling the last vestiges of anti-Slytherin prejudice that still lingers in everyone’s subconscious. (*cough* Untamed *cough*)

Basically, I’m going to put everyone into Slytherin. Cuz I can. So here you go, you have:

Jack Zimmermann, son of Bad Bob Zimmermann, a quidditch legend. He played Beater for the Montrose Magpies and is known for creating and coining the term “Scoring Beater” due to his skill at using his beater’s bat not only to control the bludger, but to hit the quaffle through the posts at incredible distances. It starts out as a trick play but turned into a legitimate scoring strategy. Most importantly for our story, Bob Zimmermann was the Captain of the team for his final two years of Hogwarts, won the House Cup for 4/6 years he was on the team, and is generally regarded as one of the finest flyers ever to come out of Gryfindor.

Yes, Gryffindor. Bad Bob Zimmermann was a Gryffindor. In fact, all of the Zimmermanns in the history of Magic have been Gryffindors. 

Until Jack Zimmermann. Already dealing with the pressure of dominating in quidditch little leagues, Jack Zimmermann came to Hogwarts and then in a moment that didn’t quite seem real, the Sorting Hat was put onto his head and screamed SLYTHERIN before it had even finished it’s downward descent. The Gryffinders started clapping before they realized what had happened. The Slytherins didn’t start clapping because they assumed there was some mistake. Some claimed that the Hat must just be a bit tired (it was the end of the alphabet after all) and it made a mistake. It is said that this might be the only time Headmaster McGonagall broke her calm exterior during a Sorting Ceremony and tried to put the hat back on a student’s head.

But, eventually (when the Hat just turned and huffed at McGonagall and the Slytherins finally started cheering), there was nothing left for Jack Zimmermann to do but walk over to the Slytherin side of the Great Hall and plop next to B. Knight, already wondering how on earth he was going to explain this to his parents. Even his mother, who was a Muggle, knew enough about Hogwarts to know that Slytherins were the worst

Of course, in the weeks/months/years that follow, Jack Zimmermann realizes that he is, in fact, a Slytherin. Goal-oriented? Ambitious? He is all of those things. And, actually, he is a lot of things from the other Houses as well because, really, what person can be reduced to just three or four traits and isn’t it a bit ridiculous that eleven year olds are just sorted into Houses and then basically conditioned to view themselves in a certain light throughout their formative years and–

Well, wait. We’re getting into Shitty.

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MCL — Who’s most likely to ... (part 1)

I just love that game so much, it’s why I wanted to do it with MCL boys.

One set, four questions. Each one will also be done with Eldarya boys (in another post). Ready ? 

If you appreciated it and have a “who’s most likely to” specific idea, send it to me, I will use it for the next part. 

Tell me if you are agree, and if you would put yourself as the number one in some tops !

Who’s most likely to know all the words to a TV show theme song ? 

    1. Armin — He knows everything by heart, even when he dislikes the show. He definitely is that guy who watches tops and “try not to sing challenge” on YouTube. Imagine him and the Game of Thrones theme. That’s gold. 
    2. Lysander  — I really see him as a Disney fan, because it contains  beautiful moralities, and since all princesses need to show us they also have perfect vocal cords, the songs stay in his mind for a while, and he likes to accompany from the couch. 
    3. Castiel — I mostly see him trying to imitate instruments on epic songs, like Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars.
    4. Kentin — He will sing some cartoon themes he remembers from his childhood, but that’s all. 
    5. Nathaniel — Do the war and geography documentaries have epic themes? He could maybe try to perform on the Experts song, but no more. 

    Who’s most likely to be a drama queen ?

    1. Castiel — Honestly, between him and Kentin, the first place was hard to give. But as Castiel is always busy to express what he doesn’t like at all, really loudly, and we are always there at the bad moment… So, yes, we can affirm he is a really good drama queen. 
    2. Kentin — More silent about his feelings, but he already made some scenes. When we had a little scratch during the sewing workshop and he made it past like if we were literally dying ? Amazing. When he came back and broke Amber’s phone ? The best one (even if a lot of us hated him at this moment for that). 
    3. Armin — Armin is the balanced boy. Like, sometimes, yes, it can happen, but it doesn’t go on too long. He is more an “I-want-to-complain-for-five-minutes-so-just-let-me-do-it” queen. 
    4. Nathaniel — Maybe sometimes, but it’s pretty rare. He will stay calm, will think a lot. Except maybe with Castiel, but we all know it is like if they were in another universe when it happens. 
    5. Lysander — Drama queen ? Lysander ? Please. He is more like a “My-job-is-to-reason-with-my-best-friend-and-official-drama-queen”. 

    Who’s most likely to cry because of a sad movie ? 

    1. Kentin — Of course he is. It’s not bad at all, and please stop with the “a man doesn’t cry” speech. Let him see Dumbo and he is screaming and crying on the floor. Literally. 
    2. Lysander — He is absolutely not ashamed. As he actually is a sensitive boy, when he really appreciates the movie and thinks characters were really well worked, yes, a tear could come at the end. His secret nerve ? Animals. Don’t even dare to kill the dog or abandon the cat.
    3. Armin — Never, of course. Ok, maybe it happened one or two times, but it was only because it was the last Harry Potter or because of this epic ending scene in Rogue One. 
    4. Nathaniel — If you find a movie which will make him cry, I built an altar in your name. He could be more the type who is touched, can understand that most sensible people cry and will comfort you. 
    5. Castiel — Crying ? Because of a movie ? Him ? Come on, he would only cry from laughing because of some bad actor’s performances, but that’s all. In fact, he could be that asshole who gently makes fun of you if you are crying, and would even top it off. 

    Who’s most likely to get arrested ? 

    1. Armin — I know, I know ! It was too easy with that one… And I really wanted to pull him lower in the top, but the thing is, Armin had really been arrested, while others didn’t (yet). So, reluctantly, we have to give him the first place. 
    2. Castiel — If episode 35 didn’t show us a terrible thing, Castiel would steal the first place, of course. He is a natural troublemaker. 
    3. Kentin — Maybe because of a fight in a public place ? It wouldn’t happen really easily, he could contain himself a minimum, but if someone tries to come after Candy or even Alexy, he could react aggressively. 
    4. Nathaniel — Honestly, I don’t see him in this situation at all. He is at the same level than Lysander on that point. He has the fourth place because of his personality, a little (but really a little) more ready to do something bad and having troubles. 
    5. Lysander — Peaceful, calm, negotiator, mature. It would be so improbable. But never say never.

    MCL - Who’s most likely to… summer edition (part 2) | global summary

    Out of the Frying Pan (25/?)

    “You want me to climb out a window or something?” Killian asked, blue eyes flashing up at her. “Because I don’t know if I’m that coordinated.”

    “You don’t have to climb out of anything. Although you should probably consider putting pants on before we go outside.”

    “I can do that,” he said softly, the emotion obvious in his voice as it settled into the pit of her stomach.

    He pulled his arm away, only after brushing his lips across hers and Henry pounded the door again. “Mom! I’m starving. Can we make pancakes? Or you could make french toast if you really want. Can we just eat? Soon?”

    AN: Guys. Guuuuys. Emotions. EMOTIONS. Lots of them. And a hint of angst. And then more emotions. Thank you so much for your continued response to this story. It constantly blows my mind. As does that aesthetic because @distant-rose is the best. 

    Living it up on Ao3 and tag’ed up from the start on Tumblr

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    Sterek Fic Recs

    The Accidental Hale Brood by Julibean19 [Sterek, M, 42k]
    Kidfic, adoption, fake/pretend relationship, fluff, cuteness, police officers

    Author’s summary: Stiles and Derek have been BCPD partners for years when they are assigned Halloween duty and run into a couple of kids from the orphanage. One fake marriage and two real adoptions later, they somehow become a family.

    This is lovely. Fake relationship is one of my favorite tropes, and I love kidfic with well written, realistic kids. This is long enough to be satisfying too, with lots of characterisation and context. A good read.

    Lunches, Knitting and Definitely Not Dating by Noxlunate [Sterek, T, 10k]
    Mpreg, aboverse, past Stiles/OMC, acquaintances to lovers, deputy Derek

    Author’s summary: Just a weird mpreg fic with Derek and Stiles totally kinda dating without realizing it, and Stiles figuring out this whole having a baby thing.

    It’s not weird, the author’s being way too harsh on themself. I love a good mpreg fic. There’s not enough mpreg in my opinion. I could read mpreg fic all day every day and still want more. So I enjoyed this very much. It’s got great characterisation, especially for Stiles being terribly practical about it from the moment he finds out he’s pregnant, and yet oblivious about how he and Derek find each other without quite realising. Cute.

    When You’re Gone by illusemywords [Sterek, T, 27k]
    Mystery, unreliable narrator, illness, memory loss due to trauma, angst, character death (the Hale fire)

    Author’s summary: Stiles Stilinski suffers memory loss and terrible headaches after an accident he had the summer he was fifteen. He doesn’t remember what happened that summer or why the Hales left town, and no one seems to want to talk about it. Now he’s just turned seventeen and he decides that if he ever wants to know what happened to him that summer he’ll have to figure it out himself. Eventually, memories start coming back to him, and he starts piecing them together.

    I love fic that’s a bit different, and this is definitely different. It’s got a very unusual narrative structure, but it’s perfect for the fic, which has a creepy, unsettled vibe, due to the nature of the story its telling. It’s angsty and sad and beautiful. I really liked it.

    Scowls and Sarcasm by dr_girlfriend [Sterek, T, 26k]
    Pride and Prejudice Au

    Author’s summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single alpha in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mate.

    This is a Pride and Prejudice AU. A good one. I don’t know what more information you could possibly need. It veers off radically towards the end for the sake of drama, which I’m not completely convinced was necessary if I’m being brutally honest, because P&P is epic and perfect just as it is, but Peter Hale as Lady Catherine De Bourgh honestly makes up for anything. Heh.

    Married at First Glance by Wonderwolf [Sterek, E, 63k]
    Reality TV AU, fake/pretend relationship, one-sided Paige/Derek

    Author’s summary: Married at First Glance gives its participants seven weeks. Seven weeks, starting when they meet and marry their “perfect match”, to decide if they want to stay married or divorce. For Stiles and Derek though, the challenge lies within trying to pretend that they don’t absolutely hate each other’s guts. When you’re married to a werewolf who dislikes humans, however, this can get a little tricky. But the sweet, sweet cash reward at the end will be worth it. Right?

    I’ve never watched these reality shows, they’re not my thing tbh, but they’re undeniably and awesome premise for a fic, and this one really does the concept justice by putting meat on the bones and taking enough time over it to make it feel like a proper story, not just a precursor to Sterek getting together. I followed this as a WIP and read each part as soon as it came in because I was enjoying it so much. Good stuff.

    Written Can’t Be Denied by lookslikenico and winglesswarrior [Sterek, T, 55k]
    Actor Stiles, Photographer Derek, soulmates au, soulmarks, single parent derek

    Author’s summary: The story goes that, the first time you meet your ‘soulmate’, the universe will give you a sign in what should be the most obvious way - somewhere in your immediate vicinity the word ‘soulmate’ will appear. …  A fact that causes havoc the day that up and coming actor, Stiles Stilinski holds up a bottle emblazoned with the word ‘soulmate’ in the middle of a press conference where Derek Hale is working as a photographer, in the middle of the worst day of his life.

    The trend for soulmate/soulmark AUs has cooled off a bit recently, I think, which is fine. It’s just the natural rhythm of fandom, tropes come and go. There have been some really intriguing explorations of the concept, and some that have just used the concept to tell beautiful stories, and this fic falls into the second of those categories. It’s depthful and interesting and well characterised and I was rooting so hard for those crazy kids.

    Seat Belts & Gravity by calrissian18 [Sterek, E, 22k]
    Friends with benefits, mostly canon compliant

    Author’s summary: People leave in Beacon Hills, give up on the town, the people, on life itself. And he and Derek are still here, six years later, still able to drink a beer and share space. It’s kind of remarkable in a really understated way.

    I love the way this author writes. I love their style, and I love their characterisation. They have an absolute gift for writing Stiles especially in this quirky way that feels more canon than canon, like it’s what Stiles should be if the show wasn’t so hampered and trapped by stupid bullshit like being written by a bunch of apes at typewriters under instructions from network executives who think viewers just want more love triangles. To be honest, if I were you I’d just run straight to AO3 and read everything this author’s ever written, and then find their Tumblr and read the stuff there too. You will not regret it.

    Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of by Lissadiane [Sterek, T-ish, 15k]
    Character death (not Sterek), coffee shop au / college au, ghosts, ghost animals

    Author’s summary:  In which Stiles Stilinski sees the ghosts of animals with unfinished business, and Derek Hale is unaware that his dearly departed sister left a few things unfinished.

    Fair warning, this made me cry. When I read the summary, I went “phhh that sounds dumb”, but it’s actually beautiful. Just go and read it. But have a box of tissues handy.

    The White Hart of Winter by DarkAthena [Sterek, E, 65k]
    Historic AU, aboverse, mpreg, evil Kate Argent, period typical violence, pre-verbal / animalistic Derek

    Author’s summary: Sent to marry the Hale Beast Stiles finds himself alone in a castle left to ruin and watched over by Kate Argent, who he thinks is sleeping with his new husband and seems determined to destroy him.

    Oh lord. Where to start. Look, this is not the best written fic in the world, not least (I think) because the author wrote it during NaNoWriMo, so it’s perhaps not been beta read or edited as well as it could’ve been. But it had me absolutely gripped from start to finish. I loved the storyline (it’s historical abo mpreg, I was in heaven), and the historical stuff, you can really tell the author knows what they’re talking about. It’s dark and bloody at times, but Stiles is pretty awesome throughout and Derek as “the Beast” is explained and developed very well. If, like me, you love a bit of abo mpreg and historical high drama, and you can overlook a few typos, this is fantastic stuff.

    I’ve Been Everywhere With You by Leslie_Knope [Sterek, E, 61k]
    College Au, escaping from Beacon Hills, everyone gets therapy, life goes on, friends to lovers

    Author’s summary: “Dude, you should totally come with me.”
    “What? Like on the road trip?“
    “No, come with me. To Austin. Get out of Beacon Hills.”
    Derek paused. “What?” he asked again.

    This is one of those domestic type fics where there’s no angst or high drama, just people living their lives and finding ways to be happy. I love this author’s style, and this fic is no exception. Lovely, happy, satisfying.

    Millstone by eleanor_lavish [Sterek, E, 31k]
    Sex worker Derek, client to boyfriend stiles, college au

    Author’s summary: Derek waits until the door is shut behind him before he turns around. He holds out his hand, plants his ‘if you’re not weird about it, I won’t be’ smile on his face and says, “Nice to meet you, Stiles. I’m Michael. What kind of a good time are you looking for tonight?”

    This is a particularly good example of the sex worker trope because it’s not really about Derek being a sex worker, it doesn’t glorify or condemn, it just examines it the same as it examines the other ways Derek responds and reacts to what he’s been through. And it’s told through Derek’s POV, which I liked. Plus Stiles is adorable and supportive in a completely non-pressuring way, which I like to think he would be. Charming.

    i have always been the storm by stilinskisparkles [Sterek, E, 25k]
    Stormchaser Stiles, photographer Derek, break up make up

    Author’s summary: that twister au i’ve been trying to write for three years and finally used a "pining exes” prompt to do so with.

    Stilinskisparkles. What can I say that hasn’t been said before. Do you need anything more than to see their name to convince you this is worth reading? Perhaps you do, perhaps you’re new to Sterek. If so, you’re in for a treat. This, like all their fics, has wonderful characterisation, dialogue, emotion, depth, and universe building. It was just so atmospheric. They have a particular gift for showing everyone’s thoughts and motivations while staying within one POV, Derek’s in this case. It sounds easy but it’s really really hard to do subtly, and this author absolutely nails it. And everything else. Go. Read. Now.

    The Hollow Moon by thepsychicclam [Sterek, E, 180k]
    Post s4 fix it, memory loss/alteration, slow burn, mystery

    Author’s summary: It’s the summer after Stiles’ first year of college, and he’s working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he’s okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn’t care about, nope, not at all.

    After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he’s just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

    As you’d expect from something that’s 180k long, this is plotty and deep and takes its time taking you on a journey. It’s quintessentially a fix it fic, fixing all the things the author (any many others) didn’t like about canon at and after season 4 of the show. Which means, spoiler alert, a lot of people who are dead in canon are not dead here. But the way everything is explained and how it all fits together works so well, I didn’t mind in the slightest. It’s a bit like everything you wished canon could be, and that’s certainly not a bad thing. I almost wish I’d waited and read it all in one rather than as a WIP, because as much as I usually don’t mind reading things as WIPs, I feel like this should be read the way a novel is read - all in one. So if you can do it that way, I’d recommend it. If you can’t, read it anyway. It’s the canon we all deserve, and if Jeff won’t give it to us, we’ll damn well make it ourselves.

    Wild Night (Stark!Reader x Pietro Maximoff)

    Word Count: 1198

    Summary: The reader and boyfriend Pietro decide to start a new show on Netflix. Pietro falls asleep, but that doesn’t seem to stop the reader from reading.

    A/N: Hi loves! I changed the OG request just a tad in how the reader reacts, but still pretty much the same!! I wanted to get this out to you, so I hope you enjoy this!! Ah, Pietro… <3 love of my life

    Keep reading

    Finished filming Director Luca Guadagnino and actor Armie Hammer about the power of sensuality, ugly beauty and sex in front of cameras

    The Italian director Luca Guadagnino is a master of emotional, intimate theatre like ‘I Am Love’ (with Tilda Swinton) and ‘A Bigger Splash’ (with Ralph Fiennes) that unsettle and charm with their intensity. Armie Hammer rather drew attention with his complex interpretations of discrete roles, not at last with the Winklevoss twins in ‘The Social Network’. Now Luca Guadagnino assigned him with the role of Oliver, a young American that gets tangled in an armour fou (intense love affair, in his screen adaption of André Aciman’s novel ‘Call me by your name’ (Berlinale 2017/Sundance Festival).

    For the VOGUE-talk they met in the Palazzo Albergoni in the Lombardy, a century old villa that is the home of an American professor, his Italian wife and their 17 year old son Elio in the movie. Oliver is a guest in their villa and like Armie Hammer he was changed by his Italian experiences.

    Armie Hammer: We already talked about the fact that the atmosphere of the movie is supposed to be relaxed and loose. Thanks to you this is also true behind the camera. And that despite the hard circumstances, especially the rainfall.

    Luca Guadagnino: That happens without me having to think about it. I love having guests. And this movie is about someone that is a guest. Many things in human relationships can’t be controlled but some things can be alleviated. The shooting is a hectic process full of conflicts that are related to personal discomfort. Shooting A Bigger Splash was all about it. This time I wanted to avoid such tensions. But there is always an inner tension that builds up during shooting and is related to the contents of the movie. I try to redirect the intensities between my colleagues into the movie. Especially the cultural differences between Italiens, French and American has to be channelled.

    —– PROFILES —–

    Name: Luca Guadagnino
    Job: movie, documentary and opera director
    Life: Born 1971 in Palermo. Childhood in Ethiopia. Study of film history in Rome, thesis about Jonathan Demme. After first short and fictional movies were ‘I Am Love’ (2009) and ‘A Bigger Splash’ (2015) internationally successful. 2013 he introduced the documentary ‘Bertolucci on Bertolucci’. Since 2013 his creative agency is producing fictional and fashion movies and supervises fashion campaigns. 2012 debut as opera director with ‘Falstaff’ in Verona.
    Privately: Lives in Crema, Italy.

    Name: Armie Hammer
    Job: Actor
    Life: Born 1986 in Los Angeles. Childhood in Dallas and on the Cayman Islands. Dropped out of high school in Los Angeles to start his acting career. First roles in TV-shows. 2008 main role in ‘Billy: The Early Years’. 2010 ‘The Social Network’. 2011 co-star to Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘J.Edgar’. 2013 main role in ‘The Lone Ranger’. Bought the movie rights for the story of the drug lord La Barbie.
    Privately: Married to the actress Elizabeth Chambers. One daughter.

    Armie Hammer: Your movies always play in Italy despite international cast?

    Luca Guadagnino: It is easier to organise. But I don’t plan it. To tell the truth I hope this is the last movie shot in Italy for a long while. By the way I always wanted to work with you and ‘Call Me By Your Name’ was the moment to ask you. The international cast wasn’t planned, developed naturally. I would never as a European director cast an American for a reason that isn’t part of history.

    Armie Hammer: I love this shooting experience and the life here. Crema, where we live, is the most pittoresk town that I can imagine. Nobody speaks English. That is completely new for me as an American who usually gets through with this. I dive into a new world 24 hours a day. And it is an analog experience. My smartphone is turned off most of the time alone because of the time difference. This isolation makes it easy to concentrate on the project. I feel like I landed in a different universe.

    Luca Guadagnino: Really? You don’t know this way of shooting?

    Armie Hammer: Absolutely not. I never worked with a director with where I instantly felt like we fit. I just walked into this world where everything is lovely, the colleagues, you, this villa.

    Luca Guadagnino: But isn’t it always like that? I’m curious now.

    Armie Hammer: You make me feel like we are equal. There’s no hierarchy here where the director is like the god where me as an actor is located beneath after the author, the producer and so on.

    Luca Guadagnino: So that’s how it’s usually?

    Armie Hammer: Yes, especially with projects with a gigantic budget and big studio. You are only the actor there who has to fit into the designated mould.

    Luca Guadagnino: As a director I always feel like a kid that still has many years until the graduation. I still have much to explore and discover. I don’t only want to get a concept of the fictional characters but also of the actors. This attitude is probably because of the postwar movies and exploded in the 70s. With directors like Scorsese and Coppola the line between actors, characters and story blurred. I wonder how I can realise a bigger movie with this attitude, an action movie for example.

    Armie Hammer: Like ‘French Connection’?

    Luca Guadagnino: Absolutely. As a spectator you get completely absorbed into the lives of the cops played by Gene Hackman and Roy Scheider. You feel the risk that they and the director take. The movie is a phenomenal adrenaline ride. Something like this is a huge inspiration. I’m not very interested in fiction. I hate the man-made, constructed, polished way of it. I want to find out something while filming, I want to, how do they say?

    Armie Hammer: Be a midwife?

    Luca Guadagnino: Exactly. I am a delivery nurse. And my new interpretation of ‘Suspiria’ is gonna be as personal as ‘Call Me By Your Name’. I always felt I wanted to shoot this movie again. I want to honour the feeling that the movie caused me when I was ten. I hope that it will shock the audience.

    Armie Hammer: That is an interesting idea to make a movie for the sole purpose to make the audience feel what you once did.

    Luca Guadagnino: Just like I will hopefully convince the audience with our that it doesn’t matter who they fall in love with.

    Armie Hammer: That they can fall in love with anyone?

    Luca Guadagnino: I love the impossible and hate the possible. When I suspect that something unreachable can be realised I get really enthusiastic.

    Armie Hammer: The novel from André Aciman, which inspired our movie, is also a challenge. It is narrated in its own perspective. You are completely in Elio’s head. You hear his doubts see the scenes painted by him. But the screen adaption is more the study of two people who overcome all kinds of obstacles and fears.

    Luca Guadagnino: A face can tell a lot about what’s going on inside. And when you have fantastic actors then you build an emotional world that gets tangible while watching.

    Armie Hammer: Normally I research for a movie for months and read everything what I can get my hands on. But for the information that I needed for the role of Oliver Aciman’s nove is not the perfect source. Instead I tried to find out what it meant to grow up in the 70s and 80s. And I got acquainted with the Jewish identity that is important for my role. But mostly I tried to understand the tone of the movie. My character is curious, sensual and open for everything that he encounters. No matter if it’s a glass of peach juice, Elio or the young Chiara. To understand that was a big part of the preparation.

    Luca Guadagnino: The movie doesn’t portray Oliver like for example ‘Malèna’ by Giuseppe Tornatore was directed - as a pretty woman you stare at. That he is a good looking man was always an ironic detail for me. All characters are beautiful but not because of their physical appearance but because we gaze into their heart and soul. What is important is the emotional process that Elio undergoes and that we can see in his look. How does he deal with his crush? Does he make more out of it?

    Armie Hammer: I noticed there’s not a single vanity shot in this movie where it’s about the best angle with the most flattering sun light that stages the face. But still every single shot is gorgeous in all your movies. They are incredibly cautious and subtle.

    Luca Guadagnino: I’m interested in sensuousness not beauty. When I hear the word beauty I cock my gun. For me it’s about how those people submit to the sensuousness at last. In the end you can’t turn down an erotic challenge. Another impossibility that I think about constantly.

    Armie Hammer: Water is a sensuous element in this movie.

    Luca Guadagnino: And that while I can’t swim. When I go into the water I drown. I hate the sea, I hate the heat, the humidity, the people around me, I don’t want to present myself naked. Pantelleria was also disgusting for me while shooting ‘A Bigger Splash’.

    Armie Hammer: Well, this is funny: We spend a good part of the movie in the water and that while you hate it!

    Luca Guadagnino: It is about the meaning in the movie just like with the sex scenes. Technically they’re without meaning if they’re not about the dialogue between two people.

    Armie Hammer: If you believe it or not I had my first sex scene in ‘Call Me By Your Name’!

    Luca Guadagnino: Wait, you never did this before?

    Armie Hammer: No! But you and the crew dealt with it like it would be nothing special, just another scene. And as soon as it is “Cut!” you look up and come out of the fog: there’s the boom operator, there’s the camera man and they just do their job. I wish I could fill this feeling in bottles, the feelings before and after the scene. I would need weeks to explain the difference. Anyway it doesn’t feel like anything special to me anymore either.

    Luca Guadagnino: You made it emotionally completely believable. That was fantastic. Actors are in a very fragile position.

    Armie Hammer: We are incredibly exposed alone because the whole crew is there.

    Luca Guadagnino: The actor gives the director a credit of trust. And then the movie goes out into the world.

    Armie Hammer: But that is why I became an actor.

    Luca Guadagnino: And when will you become a director?

    Armie Hammer: I’ll probably never write my own script. I don’t have the concentration to sit down for months. I’d really like to direct a movie though. But when I see how fluent and effortless the process is for someone like you then I tell myself I’ll never be able to do this.

    Luca Guadagnino: In your opinion, what does it mean to be a director? You already worked with the best.

    Armie Hammer: Well, it’s about reconcile everyone involved and always keep the outline in mind. I don’t have a single clue what processes are happening in a director, it’s all going on inside. And it’s so fast I tell myself if I ask a question now I only hinder everything. But there are directors that approach things completely different and think at every shot out loud where the camera should be placed.

    Luca Guadagnino: Do you like that better?

    Armie Hammer: Sure. No one is as close to the camera as the actor. And when the director walks over to start a talk with the cameraman I sure do listen closely. I always knew I wanted to make movies. As a child I went to the cinema on weekends and watched everything that was on the program. I had no idea what a director or producer does so the next thing was to become an actor.

    Luca Guadagnino: To direct means to be an outcast. You have to ready yourself for a journey that’s deep and dark.

    Armie Hammer: What’s the reason for that? Where does this alienation come from?

    Luca Guadagnino: I thought about what I like today. While growing up I loved directors whose movies were strong, compromising and hard to take. Their movies had no success at the beginning but became legends later: Stanley Kubrick for example, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Michael Powell, Federico Fellini. Under this circumstances I can’t make a Hollywood movie. You are dead before you receive a second chance. So: I like directors that do what they want and address my desires. It’s scary but I also always get what I want. I was in love with Ralph Fiennes, his photos hung on my wall. And then he played in ‘A Bigger Splash’. It is important to get what you really want. I really need to own and desire the actors that star in my movies.

    Armie Hammer: Was it the same with me?

    Luca Guadagnino: When I saw ‘The Social Network’: Yes, the movie is brilliant, the script is great, Jesse Eisenberg plays Mark Zuckerberg fantastically - but who the hell are the Winklevoss twins? There was something about you that I wanted to bring in front of the cameras.

    Armie Hammer: And we did it.

    Luca Guadagnino: My next goal is to find your dark side. Do you see yourself as an actor as a seducer or as seduced? I always hear that actors are seductive. But as a director I have to say that sometimes they get seduced and then left alone.

    Armie Hammer: Who isn’t involved in the origination process romanticises actors. It would be really great if I would get surrounded with scripts. But the sad truth is that there are so little good directors and great scripts that everyone wants a role as soon as a good movie appears on the market. I feel more like a boxer in the fight for a chance. Sure there are colleagues that get all the fantastical commissions automatically…

    Luca Guadagnino: … but you don’t even want that.

    Armie Hammer: But you seduced me and it was definitely worth it. The filming with you has left as big an impression in my personal life as in my professional.

    Luca Guadagnino: It’s irrelevant how many movies an actor shoots per year. It’s about giving an emotional iconic performance. And you did that. That’s how Film history works. That’s how I see it and I’m film historian.

    Armie Hammer: You know more about movies than anyone else. And partly that’s the reason why you make such beautiful movies. On the other hand you gaze so interestingly at things, at everything, whatever it may be. Your opinion is always cultivated, considered carefully.

    Luca Guadagnino: There are so many practical problems while filming it’s overwhelming. You have to work with every single shot and then the total out of it.

    Armie Hammer: I worked with directors that said, no the trees have to be planted differently.

    Luca Guadagnino: It’s crazy! That’s how I thought about it when I was 17. You shoot in a garden where everything gets redesigned. But that’s not how it works.

    Armie Hammer: I know other directors that like midwifes let things take their way.

    Luca Guadagnino: There we come to the masters of the subject. They didn’t close the door to reality, how Jean Renoir once said.

    The talk was moderated by Ingeborg Harms 
    Photo by Peter Rigaud
    Original text published in VOGUE GERMANY, January 2017 issue, translated from German into English by Nici Jones. 

    Mystery Kids: In Too Deep

    Hi everyone! I’m back! 

    Here is another short oneshot I’ve been working on! Don’t worry, the next chapter of the Whispering Rock fic will be out soon. For now, I hope you enjoy this!

    Also, I just want to say, the ending of this fic took DAYS to get right. So many rewrites. In the end, my best friend had to help point me in the right direction. 

    WARNING! Dipper’s real name is hinted (very very small hint, if you blink you miss it kind of thing) at in this fic near the end. Just wanted to give a small warning because I think someone asked me to do that.

    Summary: Dipper finds something in the journal that he thinks will interest Raz. There seems to be an entry on breaking curses.

    AO3 Link

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    Mystery Kids: In Too Deep

    Time period: First Summer

    Dipper stared down at his journal, but he needn’t bother. He already knew the words as he recited them over and over, his lips moving along to each syllable. He had done his research into old languages, he was confident he could pronounce everything correctly. He knew the spell from front to back; there was no way he could make a mistake.

    He looked up from the journal to the other kids seated in front of the TV in the Mystery Shack living room. A superhero movie’s credits rolled on the TV screen while a popular song played in the background. The kids sat close together, ignoring credits in favor of talking with each other. Coraline, Lili and Raz seemed to be planning tomorrow’s events, Mabel and Norman were engrossed in a conversation about the movie, and Wybie was explaining something to Neil that he knew far too much about.

    Dipper hadn’t known these other kids for long, and he usually didn’t warm up to people very fast, but there was something about surviving horrific life and death situations together that created instant bonds.

    Dipper looked back down at his journal. He wanted to help his friend. He didn’t know if it was possible, but if there was even a slim chance that this would work, shouldn’t he take it?

    Dipper took a deep breath and snapped the journal closed.

    Standing up from his seat on the floor, he walked towards where Raz, Lili and Coraline were sitting.

    “Hey… Raz?” Dipper said hesitantly.

    Raz turned in his direction. “What’s up, Dipper? Finally coming out of that book to join us?” Raz said with a teasing smirk.

    “Yeah, sort of. About the journal…” Dipper trailed off awkwardly. Raz must have realized that something was off, because he was giving Dipper a strange look. Had Raz been reading his mind? Dipper groaned mentally at the prospect. Raz usually didn’t read his friend’s minds on purpose, but like a leaky valve, every so often thoughts would trickle through whether Raz wanted them to or not. For Dipper, this was probably the most challenging part about being friends with Raz. He hated the idea of someone else reading his private thoughts.

    Raz’s smile faltered. “What about the journal?”

    “I thought you might be interested to know that there is a page in here about breaking curses.” Dipper gestured awkwardly to the journal.

    Raz’s eyes widened and the room fell silent. All eyes turned to Dipper and Raz.

    “You’re… you’re serious?” Raz asked, slowly coming out of his initial stupor.

    Dipper shrugged. “I don’t know if it will work. I’ve never tried to break a curse before, and yours seems really strong if it affects your whole family. I’m not even sure if I have the right spell to break it…” Dipper felt like he was rambling now. “Or if it can even be broken by a spell, but… I mean, there is a chance it could work.”

    Raz didn’t seem to be able to speak. He just kept staring up at Dipper, his mouth hanging open.

    “What happens if it doesn’t work?” Lili asked.

    “Nothing happens,” Dipper answered. “It’s not dangerous to try, unless I get the words wrong, but I won’t get them wrong,” he insisted. “If it doesn’t work, then nothing will change.”

    “Is this a good idea?” Wybie asked. “Messing with magic doesn’t seem very smart. How do you know you can even use magic anyway?”

    “I told you I’ve used a spell to raise an army of the undead before, right?” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “It didn’t work out the way I planned, but that’s beside the point. It seems like almost anyone can do magic if they have the right words. I’ve been studying this spell and I know I can pronounce it correctly, but-.”

    “But you don’t know if it will work,” Coraline finished for him.  

    “Exactly. It’s up to Raz if he-”

    “Let’s do it,” Raz said suddenly, jumping to his feet.  


    “Yeah! From what you’ve said there’s no risk, right? You know how to perform the spell or you wouldn’t have brought it up.”

    Raz was right about that. Dipper had been planning this for weeks. He didn’t want to say anything until he could be absolutely sure he could use the spell on his friend without hurting him.

    “And I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if we don’t at least try,” Raz finished.

    Dipper nodded numbly. “O-okay, I just have to get the potion ready. It should be done by tomorrow morning.”

    “Wait, wait, potion?” Lili asked, getting to her feet. “What exactly are you feeding my boyfriend, Pines?”

    “Yeah, Bro-bro,” Mabel said. “I trust you when it comes to journal stuff, but you aren’t exactly a master in the kitchen. Anything you make should be tested first.”

    Dipper sighed and rolled his eyes. “If this is about the time I made pancakes, I didn’t know the cookbook was cursed, okay? Anyone could have made that mistake!”

    “Umm, guys?” Norman interrupted. “Maybe Dipper can show us what’s going to be in this potion? I think that will make everyone feel better.”

    “Right,” Dipper agreed. “It’s surprisingly normal kitchen stuff. We need a lot of vinegar for some reason. Oh, and some of Raz’s hair.”

    Raz wrinkled his nose in disgust.

    “Sorry, there is always one weird ingredient. Be lucky it’s your own hair. A surprising number of the potions in here ask for gnome beard hair.”

    “Oh, I have some of that!” Mabel volunteered happily.  

    Dipper raised an eyebrow at his sister. “Yes, and as disgusted as I am that you kept that, you should hold onto it, because apparently it’s a valuable ingredient.”

    “Weird,” Mabel said.

    Lili raised an eyebrow at her. “No, the weird part is that you kept the hair not knowing it was useful.”

    “Is there anything I can do to help?” Neil volunteered. “I can find the ingredients for the potion.”

    “Sure,” Dipper said. “The potion will need to chill overnight but you can help me prepare it.” Dipper glanced at the girl reading intently over his shoulder. “And Lili can stand there silently judging everything I do because she thinks I’m going to poison Raz.”

    Raz chuckled. “It’s how she shows she cares.” He paused, glancing over at the journal himself. “But seriously, I would appreciate it if you didn’t poison me.”

    “Well… here it is,” Dipper said as he handed a Mystery Shack mug filled with black liquid over to Raz.

    “Well, that looks appetizing,” Coraline remarked sarcastically.

    Hesitantly, Raz took the cold mug which had been chilling in the refrigerator overnight.

    He sniffed the mug and made a face, sticking out his tongue in disgust. “This smells awful!”

    “Oh! Let me smell it!” Mabel took the mug from him, and after sticking her nose into the cup, gagged and held it away from her as if it had physically assaulted her. “Yuck! That’s gross!”

    Of course, after that, everyone had to sniff it for themselves.

    “Are you sure you said the words right?” Lili challenged, eyeing the mug distrustfully as she passed it back to Raz.

    Dipper rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’ve been studying this stuff. You can trust me, we did everything a hundred percent right. Neil and Mabel even got fresh ingredients at the store, which wasn’t necessary but is recommended.”

    “Yeah, don’t worry, my bro is the most detailed oriented person there is, and he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Raz.”

    Lili didn’t look happy (though she rarely did) but this answer seemed to appease her.

    “Well, as disgusting as this looks, I trust you,” Raz said, eyeing the mug unhappily. “And if this breaks my family’s curse, then no matter how disgusting it tastes, it will be worth it.”

    Raz brought the mug closer to his lips.

    “Wait!” Dipper shouted, causing Raz to pause and glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

    “What is it?”

    “It’s just…” Dipper hesitated, rubbing his upper arm nervously. “You know this might not work, right? The spell might not be strong enough or it might be the wrong kind. You just… shouldn’t get your hopes up. There’s a good chance it won’t work.”

    Raz lowered the mug slightly and shook his head. A grin forming at the corners of his mouth.

    “I know, Dipper. I get that it’s a long shot. But thanks to you, I get to at least try. And if it doesn’t work then… then I’m no worse off than I was before,” he said with a shrug. “So… here is goes…” He held the mug up and flashed Dipper a grin. “Cheers.”

    With one swift movement, Raz downed the entirety of the mug.

    Keep reading

    political relations (political!kylo au) | chapter two

    AU in which Kylo and Reader are politicians for opposing parties. When Kylo’s department threatens the livelihood of your citizens, you are caught up in a battle against the most insufferable political you have ever met. But he slowly but surely lures you in with his charm, what happens when you end up falling for the enemy?

    Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

    Word Count: 1.5k


    Keep reading

    Alphabet challenge

    I was tagged by @amycampbell00 (thanks ^-^) and i thought i’d do this too :) so yeah okay here we go

    CHALLENGE: say something that begins with each letter of the alphabet, then you explain what the word means to you (why you chose it or why it’s special to you) Tag 26 people at the end to do it as well!

    A FOR ANTISEPTICEYE - off to a great start here. Anti has really made a part of the community, he was the thing that really, I mean Really pulled me in. There’s something i can’t explain about the way i feel about the glitch bitch, it’s inspiring, in way.

    B FOR BOXING - that’s my hobby and i love it. I started last fall, so i don’t compete or beat people up just yet tho, so don’t worry :’D

    C FOR CURIOUS - i like to think i am curious, at least curious as in strange :D

    D FOR DARKIPLIER - Dark has made me appreciate Mark and his ambitiousness and just the way he does things, with his entire being. Also he’s the evil alter ego of Mark, and i love evik characters in general (also my darkiplier charity shirt arrived today and i’m so happy)

    E FOR ENDIGO - He is a swedish youtuber and he is also the first youtuber i started watching and in a way he lead me to Mark and Jack, and all the other cool people i now know thanks to youtube

    FINLAND - where i’m from, yay (so excuse possible bad grammar and what not)

    G FOR GUITAR - i’d love to be good at playing the guitar, and i’ve tried practising, but i’m helplessly too lazy to do it when i can’t see the results…

    H FOR HARRY POTTER - probably the first fandom i ended up in. Soon i’ll be visiting the studios in London, so the hype is building up ^-^

    I FOR IDIOT - because that’s what i am, sometimes.

    J FOR JACKSEPTICEYE - i wish to reach his level of being a good person one day. Sean is also a big inspiration to me and he gives me energy to get through each day

    K FOR KID - because i am VERY childish at times :D i also really truly do not feel adult yet, even though that’s what i’m supposed to be…

    L FOR LORDI - my absolute all time favourite band. It’s been 11 years since i found them (i was 8 at the time) and they’ve been sorta there for me all that time.

    M FOR MARKIPLIER - i bet nobody saw this coming :p anyway, Mark makes me laugh. One day i hope that i find something that drives me forward, the way that Mark is driven by doing youtube.

    N FOR NOTHING - because nothing can stop me, or you, from doing what you want

    O FOR OPEN MIND - i have a tendency to judge people too fast. I’m trying to get rid of that habit and be more open minded about things

    P FOR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN - there was a time in my life when i had nothing to look up to. Then i saw pirates of the caribbean the curse of the black pearl and i was amazed. Johnny Depp has since that been my fave actor.

    Q FOR QUIRKY - i spend 45 minutes trying to find a word that stsrts with a q :’D but quirky mean weird but cool, right? So i’d like to be that. Now i’m just weird. Not cool at all.

    R FOR RECKLESS - this is just a beautiful word to look at or hear. My favourite word

    S FOR SHY - i am probably the most shy and awkward person you’ll ever meet. I struggle even talking to friends (which i have like 2 and a half), having a presentation at school is literal death

    T FOR TRAVEL - i wanna see the world and i want to travel more and more

    U FOR UNIVERSITY - i study at a university and i absolutely hate it. So. Much. You. Have. No. Idea. I’ve contemplated dropping out. Or at least changing to some other school. I dont have anyone to talk to there. And i feel bad for not liking it because i know there are so many people who want to go to uni but cant and i’m just here complaining about it

    V FOR VACCINATION - eh yeah. I am scared of hospitals and anything related to that. I don’t want to go anywhere near anything medical if i don’t have to. Oddly enough i’m not afraid of blood.

    W FOR WHO - to be more specific Doctor Who. My fave tv show. I love space and scifi

    X FOR X - i know that’s not actually a word. BUT hear me out. There is an amusement park ride, literally called X. I got a job at an amusement park for the summer. So that’s what up.

    Y FOR YOUTUBE - i watch way too much youtube. All the time. Especially when i should be studying. It helps me not to lose my mind i guess. Like distraction.

    Z FOR ZEBRA - i have a pair of socks with … um.. zebra pattern on them. Like they are black and white striped socks. My fave socks.. okay

    There we go :D that was fun ^-^ ummm i don’t think i’m tagging anyone tho because shy and i dont really know anyone so okay i’ll add some tags so if you see this, feel free to do this yourself :)

    Caged [14]

    Characters: NamjoonxReader
    Length: 2497 words
    Genre: Mafia AU
    Warnings: Violence

    Part 13  Part 15

    There was a knock on the door before it flew open and only stopped when it hit the rubber stopper on the floor. The noise tore you from a dreamless sleep and your eyes darted around as you were trying to orient yourself. The covers were pulled to your chin and on top of them next to you was Namjoon, his arm resting heavily on your stomach and his forehead pressed against you shoulder. You had fallen asleep before he had come back from his phone call so you had no idea when he had come back to bed, but you smiled and turned your head to nuzzle into his disheveled hair.

    At the other end of the room, Jin inhaled sharply.

    “You have got to be kidding me.”

    Keep reading

    Hey guys, this was a long time in the making. This is my first article for tips on how to make better fanfictions. Today I want to talk about Mary Sues.

     If a character is too perfect, then a character could often times be referred to as a Mary Sue or Gary Stu if the character is male. This definition, while getting the general idea across, is too narrow and allows too many fantastic characters to fall under this category. So in order to fully grasp what a Mary Sue is, we need to go back to where the term originated.

    The term “Mary Sue” was coined back in the 70s in a Star Trek parody fanfiction called “A Trekee’s Tale”. In the story, there was a character named, you guessed it, Mary Sue. She was prefect at everything, including being the youngest lieutenant in the fleet at 15, had all three of the major male characters falling at her feet and was the one to always save the day. As you probably also guessed, the editors of the magazine it was posted in and the people read it, called bullshit.

    Even with this in mind, it is hard to say what the true definition of a Mary Sue actually is. This term gets tossed around so much that it becomes super vague, loosing all meaning. Some definitions say they can only be in fanfictions; others say they can be idealised versions of the authors; others say they are just insert characters in general. I heard of characters being mixed race (which is complete bullshit, but I digress), having large boobs, being an orphan, wearing all black, liking the colour pink, having a tragic backstory, is good looking, popular at school, have magical powers and so much more declared Mary Sues. Reality is, I don’t think any of these really define that.

    What the definition is to me, and to quote Bronycurious or Tommy Oliver, “A character so prefect they are not challenged by the events of the narrative.”

    I like this one since it encompasses what a Mary Sue is while being specific enough to not consider perfection a flaw. After all, a lot of characters have perfection in a couple different areas. What makes a story interesting is if they still have obstacles in the narrative and areas of weakness.

    So when a character is so powerful, prefect and solve a problem in a few seconds flat with no effort to point of wanting to face palm yourself, then you yourself a Mary Sue.

    An example of a Mary Sue in literature is Bella from Twilight. The story was based off a dream Meyers had where a male vampire and an average girl were having a conversation a meadow. Whether or not Bella Swan is based on the author herself is unknown to me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Bella is perfect and has absolutely no conflicts or struggles she faces in the story. She is smarter than every girl in class, even saying she read all of the books on the reading list in her class and an ace in bio (which is funny in hindsight since my brothers, who have science degrees, told me that she was doing a lot of the labs wrong and was doing middle school lab experiments). Nothing ever touches her. Even when she is attacked or hurt, she’s automatically saved and healed perfectly well and is not traumatized or effected by those events. She never develops or changes throughout the story. She is never called out once for her mistakes. She is always in the centre of the universe.  There are many more examples of Mary Sue characters in fiction, obviously, but that is the first one that jumps out to me.

    So, you may be wondering, “How do I prevent this?” These are some tips that will help you out and ways to prevent some of these things to happen.

    Tip 1: Don’t have the character defy the laws of the set narrative without a reason or explanation

    This is for fanfiction, but can apply for original stuff, too.  For instance, a character being a Super Saiyan would not add up in the Digimon universe or being a Pokémon master in the Yu-Gi-Oh universe. These worlds have defined world building, so it’s not wise to play around with that without either explaining things or having these actions have consequences.

    How do I fix this?

    Know your fandom very well.  If there is a manga, read it; if there is a Japanese version of the show, watch every single episode or find somewhere that has a recap of them; if there is a video game tie in, watch a let’s play of it; if there is a side story or extra fandom info, read it.  

    If you do not know the fandom well or are very new, do not be afraid to ask others for help. There will be lots of people on the site who will be glad to help you out if you are unsure of something.

     If certain characteristics not fit into the context of that universe, it’s not a good idea to add it without explaining why it happened or making it an AU.

    Tip 2:  Self inserts are not automatically bad, you just have to work on them more

    Yup. You heard me right.  Self inserts are not an automatic death sentence like many people claim them to be.  They appear in published works more often than you might think and you’d be shocked how many of your favourite characters are self inserts or based on a real person. 

    The first example that comes to mind is Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls. The creator of Gravity Falls, Alex Hirsch, admitted in interviews that the characters Dipper and Mabel are loosely based on himself and his twin sister when they were kids. The character Grunkle Stan is based on his Grandpa. Soos is based on a guy he knew in college.  In fact, the show is inspired by Alex’s childhood experiences of being out in the woods during the summer, wishing for something exciting to happen like in the show.

    Does this mean the show is bad? Hell no! This is one of my favourite shows TV right now and is one of my favourite Disney shows. I am not the only one who thinks this.  Many critics and audiences alike enjoy the show immensely.  This show even won an Annie Award in 2015 for Best Cartoon. Even if you don’t like the show, which is perfectly fine and I totally respect, it not poorly written piece of crap either.  

    Gravity Falls isn’t the only show to have pulled this off. Other shows have as well such as TMNT, South Park, Harry Potter, a lot of Disney movies and many more.

    Like I said, this is not an automatic death sentence with just the idea of a self-insert, it is possible to do this right.

    You may be wondering to yourself, “How can something like Gravity Falls pull this off and get praise meanwhile a lot of fanfictions cannot?” I think this is because of a couple things.

    Gravity Falls focuses on many different side characters, giving them moments in the sun and character development.

    Dipper gets into trouble and caused trouble numerous times on the show. There many points in the show where Dipper was almost killed.  He even turned into a wood craving in one episode!

    In addition, Dipper is not always the one to save the day. Other characters saved him a couple times including Wendy, Mabel, Grunkle Stan, Ford and Pacifica.     It is also a team effort sometimes as well.  While Dipper does save the day sometimes, it’s never just him doing it all time, sometimes he has help too.

    In a lot of fanfictions, the author allows nothing bad to happen to star main character, letting them take all the spotlight and glory.  No one is allowed to help or get development, even the canon cast. This is not a good thing.

    The second thing is that Dipper isn’t, Jaden Yuki in Yu-Gi-Oh Gx Abridged puts it, absolutely flawless. He has a vast amount of character flaws.  He can be insecure, paranoid, can be vengeful, vindictive towards those he hates and much more. These traits do prevent him from reaching his goal.

    Dipper has made some very dumb mistakes in the show. One example being when he read a page out of the journal and making zombies appear just to make a point. However, when he does screw up, he admits it and tries his best to make things right.

    In a lot of these fanfictions, the character most likely never screws up. When they do, they never admit it or it’s never mentioned.  The narrative never challenges them and they have no character flaws or setbacks.  When you neglect to do this, that’s what makes the OC fall flat.

    How do I fix this?

    Think hard to yourself about how others perceive you and what your own flaws are.  Everyone has them.  For me, one of my major personality flaws are that: I have a hard time doing certain tasks at a brisk pace, I learn things slower sometimes, I can procrastinate things a lot, I can be a worrywart when it comes to my stories and whole bunch more. Everyone has flaws, so  should your character. Bring them up in the story and let your character fail because of them.

    Also, don’t be afraid if the character gains traits you don’t, this is natural and is bound to happen over time. Even Dipper is not an exact clone of Alex Hirsch.

    Tip 3: Give your characters actual flaws and make them seem human

    A character’s problems and flaws that make it harder for them in the narrative. I am not talking about “cute” flaws like clumsiness, but real problematic traits that set the character back from the goal. Not only that, these setbacks have to happen because of said flaws.  Everyone has set-backs, flaws and insecurities, it is what makes us human.

    As for making them human, it’s about giving them flaws, like I just said, but also giving them traits that make us like them. Obviously, you can make a douche or an idealised person a main character and have it work out fine. But if you do, you have to give them other traits for the viewer or the reader to latch onto and challenge them, giving them setbacks and flaws.    

    A good example of a more problematic main character is Iron Man/Tony Stark.    On paper, he seems like a douche. He is a womaniser, a party animal, and a drunk, alcoholic, is very reckless with his actions, and endangers others and so much more.     There is a lot more to him than that. He cares about his loved ones, he’s smart and can get himself out of trouble and is very witty. Despite his flaws, a person can cheer him on and want to see him get out okay because we can see a person like him existing.  

    On the opposite side of the spectrum is Superman. While he isn’t my favourite hero, he is still an icon that is around to this day and I don’t consider him a Mary-Sue. Superman is very noble and virtuous, but he still has obstacles in the form of extremely powerful beings like Darkseid and many more. He even died once in the comics. His morals are always being tested since he does almost kill people sometimes, even sometimes doing this in the movies. Even though he does little for me personally, many people admire the traits he does stand for and that he does stand up for what he believes in. These characters are a lot harder to pull off, especially in the modern day, needing a truly powerful villain to face off that will challenge those ideals and show some sign of those ideals possibly breaking. Even then, these character should  have characters flaws.  

    Let’s take a look at another character, Bella Swan. She endangers people around her, she is hung up on her playgirl calendars, she takes little action throughout the story, she has little personality, she jumps off cliffs to get boys to notice her, her world seems to end because a guy dumped her and the list goes on.     I think most people can agree that if they met someone in real life like her, they’d probably want to smack her.  There is little that a person can understand or identify with due her choices being so odd and hardly ever being tested or called out for her actions. Because of this, people dislike her as a character.

    A person can forgive a few plot holes or even a cliché premise if the characters stand out and you can cheer for them. If the main characters and side characters are crap, then it will fall apart.

    How do I prevent this?  

    In order to make sure that your characters are likable, take a step back and wonder if their personalities are balanced and if they have set backs. For example, if the character is a royal queen from ancient Egypt, she’d probably have a hard time fitting into modern times. She will also come off an overbearing and could make some very harsh judgement calls, some of which might not be popular with others. On the flip side, she can think on her toes and knows to make deals among other things.

    If it helps, base characters on people you know. A lot of authors do this…to the point it is kind of scary if you look into it too much.

    Tip 4 Have the canon characters act realistically around said character:  

    Not every side character is going to love the main character or view them the same way in the story.  Some might like them, some might be indifferent towards them and other might hate them. In a lot of bad fanfictions, this doesn’t change at all.

    The reverse of this is true as well when a character from the show, who should get along with your character, becomes hostile towards said character for no reason, contradicting their canon personality. This also happens a lot in bashing fics, but that’s another topic for another day.

    For example, something I do see happen in Yu-Gi-Oh fanfictions is Tea hating the OC, most of the time for no reason.  Sometimes it’s over the fact the OC shows affection towards Yami, a guy who she had shown interest in at the start of the series. However, in the series, she has no sign of having a problem with hanging out with another girl; if anything, she would be ecstatic to have another girl in the group. So, in short, this makes no sense in the narrative since she’d never react like that.

     Even if you hate said canon character, try to understand her view point and understand where she is coming from with her actions. People will always have a few characters they hate in a show, it’s natural and no one should hate you for that.  If someone gives you flax for just hating a character when you never bashed them, send them to the Shadow Realm.  However, there is always a reason behind people’s actions, even if you might not like them or disagree with them. As an author, you must keep that in mind and explain why the character is acting like that and keep close to their cannon personality, even if you might not like it.

    How to do fix this?

    Mainly, try to make the canon characters act like themselves and act like a real person would. Know the canon cast well, keeping them in line no matter how much you might despise some of them.

    Tip 6: If this is an OC x canon, story have the romance build up at a realistic pace

    I think everyone heard of love at first sight where a girl sees some hot dude across the room and falls in love right then and there. Reality is, this is impossible in real life and scientifically proven this it cannot happen.

    No healthy long term relationship goes from laying eyes on someone to marrying them in five seconds. Relationships take time to form, having ups and downs along the way.

    For the love of Ra, think twice before you add a love triangle to a fanfiction. While it is possible to pull this off, it’s not something I’d recommend to a novice writer to test out on their first fan fiction. It takes a lot of talent and skill to pull a love triangle right. Many people, even professional writers, cannot pull this off right.

    Tip 7: Give your OC realistic, human reactions to things.

    One thing I see in bad fanfictions and even published novels is where the character make bizarre decisions that no one will think of. I’m not talking like a good thing like coming up with a new chemical formula, I’m talking about irrational decisions that no one in their right mind would do.

    A perfect example of this is Bella Swan (wow I’m using her as example a lot in this article). In Twilight, Edward admits to Bella that he watches her in her sleep. She does not freak out about this in the slightest.     I think most girls agree that if their crush did that to them in real life, they’d call the police and put a restraining order on their ass.

    Another example from another YA novel Prince of Wolves by Quinn Loftis where the main character told her besties that she can hear voices in her head and they went along with it, not even questioning this in the slightest. I love my besties to death, but if one of my friends told me that, I would think she was joking. If she said she was serious, then I would make this face…

    Originally posted by reactionswithgifs

    However, this one is complicated as well since this can vary from character to character. Not everyone thinks and reacts the same way. In real life, our surroundings and experiences influence our actions and views of the world. Since no one has the same background and the same life experiences, not everyone is going to view or react the same way.  Even with this in mind, there are just somethings that are general common sense among most people.

    There are exceptions like if you are writing an alien or some other supernatural creature since it is hard to know their thought process for obvious reasons.

     Truly think to yourself, “If my character was in a situation like this in real life, how’d they react?” Sometimes this can take many drafts and just writing many one shots to know how a character would react to things.

    Tip 9: Don’t be afraid to have things not go their way or have bad things happen to them once in a while.  Give your OC obstacles that challenge them and are hard to overcome.

    This is the ultimate big one.  The big kahuna. This one is the big determining factor whether or not you have a Mary Sue or not.  

    I am not saying this is a free for all for character bashing or something. Hell, no! What I am saying that you should put in events that test the character and not have everything go their way all the time. Like have them fail at a test, not get the guy they had a crush on, have them fail the first try fighting off a villain etc.  

    In life, not everything is going to go our way and there is little we can do about it other than overcome it. That is what ultimately makes an amazing story, not how much we win— but how much we overcome and change into better people. This is even one of the Pixar rules of good story telling. After all, Mary sues do not exist in real life since every human has problems and setbacks in their lives; no one can achieve greatness without any effort.

    That about wraps it up. Like with anything, there are exceptions to the rules. These are just some general rules to keep in mind. Let me know what you guys think.  

    anonymous asked:

    I have a head canon that Andrew is scared of lighting and thunder. So here's my prompt. You can do it as fluffy or as smutty as you want. ( Though I'm sure you know the kind we both secretly want)

    (what a fantastic head canon, consider it accepted.)

    (sfw. the fluff… it overtook me……. please let these boys be happy.)

    The promised storm rolled in during the early morning, which was to say, Neil Josten woke up at three-fifty-four to a foot lodging in the small of his back and kicking him off the bed.

    For two years of sharing a bed every time they managed to sneak away to Columbia, that was a first. He’d woken to a fight, Andrew seeing someone else and Neil not actually being someone else, but that usually involved more hands around the throat and knees shoved into his gut and Andrew staring down at him until they both came down from the adrenaline rush. They were rare, but they happened. There was no fighting a nightmare, waking or asleep.

    But when Neil tumbled onto the cold floor, his pillow following him like a loyal companion, and even after regaining his senses and calming his heart, no one appeared at the edge to check on the damage (something Andrew always did but never acknowledged the intent behind), something struck him as Off.

    Outside the window, lightning cracked across the sky. The downpour had been bad when they’d fallen asleep, but the light show was new.

    Neil rubbed at his newly sore back, but it wasn’t that bad. The lack of movement from Andrew concerned him more.

    Keep reading

    Protagonist/Rival Post-Game Headcanons (Gen 1 - 2)

    This is the first in a series of posts kickstarted at the request of @bourgeorgeis-scum​. I hope it meets expectations!


    In his brief period as Champion, Red was regarded as one of the top three best trainers in the world. Despite his relatively young age (eighteen), his average victory rate was within the range of 85-95%, his array of previous tournament wins confirming both the breadth and depth of his skill. Critics and the public alike expected him to have a long rein. 

    Red, however, was Champion for only nine weeks. Although his skill was unparalleled, League officials were concerned about his role as a figurehead and representative of the region’s battle industry. He interviewed poorly, didn’t engage in publicity events, and had an evident lack of interest in the more commercialised side of battling. Red’s entrance to the position came in the heat of another publicity campaign - League officials were still plugging Blue at the time of his defeat, so Red’s victory caused a great deal of disruption and a sharp u-turn in the direction of funds. The League had to publicise an even bigger, more dramatic campaign for Red, in order to maintain the attention of the somewhat disillusioned Kanto-Johtan public, who were suddenly being asked to forget all about the Champion who had dominated the media for the past few weeks and welcome a new one.     

    The issue was that Red couldn’t match this publicity campaign. Unlike Blue, he did not revel in the attention. He was not naturally chatty or charismatic in interview, as engaging as he was in battle, so the public struggled to warm to him. For those first few months, opinion on Red was divided. Some argued that his personality didn’t matter a damn, and that he had a right to his privacy. Others claimed that a Champion, as one of the most important figures in the region, needed to establish themselves as a figurehead. 

    The jury was still out when Red vanished. 

    Only nine weeks after his victory, Red disappeared without a trace. He left no evidence as to where he had gone, but the absence of certain resources from his home suggested that his departure was planned. Officially, he is missing, but a fraction of the public suspect him to be dead. Blue and Red’s mother both refuse to believe that, but that doesn’t stop them worrying. It hits Blue out of nowhere, sometimes, and keeps him up at night. Especially the guilt. He and Red were not on good terms when the latter vanished, and Blue hates to think that he might never get to make peace with him.  

    I’m not sure when Red would come down from Mt Silver. I’m sure he would eventually, but not for years and years, until he was sure that he had been mostly forgotten about. He’d have some serious apologising to do, in any case.


    Blue was the first to break Lance’s long rein as Champion. His matches with the Elites in previous months had already generated considerable public interest - several battle magazines had labelled him as ‘one to watch’ - but his defeat of Lance was still a surprise. He very much represented a new, trendy type of battling (mixed-type teams were still a relatively modern concept in the Indigo League at the time, considered to be a particular trademark of the young), and to see such a contemporary style usurp the traditional nobility of dragon taming was a shock to the public. The publicity campaigns that followed Blue’s victory played up to this shock, marketing him as a fashionable, avant-garde trainer that would shake the traditions of the League to the core. Some responded well to this. Some did not. Blue’s good looks and witty demeanour made him a hit with younger members of the public, but traditionalists responded vehemently to the loss of Lance.

    Love him or hate him, nobody had expected him to lose the position so early. His humiliation was absolute. He managed to remain his composure long enough that his fury wasn’t televised, but only just. He had never known anger like it. Red was a better trainer that him - both of them knew this, had always known it. He was the one person that Blue couldn’t defeat. And yet Red had still challenged him, knowing that he was snatching away the one thing Blue wanted most in the world.   

    So he was furious. He said ugly things, things he both did and didn’t mean simultaneously, and cut Red off. He hasn’t spoken to him since then. 

    Years on, the regret still gnaws at him. 

    Red’s disappearance led to chaos within the League. They were quick to re-offer Blue the Champion position, seeing as he had been the last to occupy it, but he refused, having already been appointed as the Viridian City Gym Leader. The offer was then made to Lance instead, who accepted (hence why he is Champion in Gold and Silver).     

    Blue probably remained in the Gym position for a year or two, but I always imagine him eventually taking his interests outside of battle and integrating himself in research instead, following (begrudgingly, as their relationship isn’t great) in the footsteps of his grandfather. Oddly enough, he’d be more comfortable in that line of work.

    At the time of his departure from the Indigo League, he was ranked 9th in the world.


    Leaf didn’t gain her LCP at as early an age as Red and Blue, so she didn’t travel the region at the same time as them. Although a keen and skilled trainer with ample potential, she never had the same ambition to challenge the Elite Four, simply because her interests lay elsewhere. She has a general knack for using grass and water types, but is particularly good at training young, newly-hatched Pokémon that have no experience working with trainers. She obtained all of the Gym badges in the space of a year and was encouraged by Blaine, who took a shine to her, to challenge the Elite Four, but she refused. Instead, she went back to school, obtained ten SCEs, and went on to do a course in Pokémon rearing. Nowadays, she works in the largest Cerulean City Daycare, as both a breeder, a minder, and an aide to those who are learning to manage newborn Pokémon. Some people make disparaging comments about her ‘cosy’ job choice, to which she normally responds by showing them the numerous scars and burn-marks on her arms, gifts from the many untamed Pokémon she has reared. 


    Gold was a Champion that nobody expected. One of several rising trainers in the industry, he was mostly ignored until his match with Lance, which he won by inches. Although Lance argued that Gold had won fair and square, the latter was flustered and attributed his victory to luck, barely able to believe it had happened. As a consequence, Gold refused to accept the position of Champion immediately, spending several weeks training alongside Lance to ensure that he felt comfortable in his ability before taking over.

    Eighteen is not a particularly unusual age for a Champion, as most trainers begin their careers early, but the media emphasised Gold’s youth a great deal. He was perceived as being younger than he was, mostly due to his sweet-natured and slightly clumsy demeanour in interview - jokes about the new ‘twelve-year-old champ’ circulated for weeks after his victory. He was a sharp contrast to Lance in almost every way, but the public responded well to him, admiring the extra training he underwent and how seriously he seemed to take the position. 

    Gold’s humble character initially led some, both locally and overseas, to doubt his ability, but he shattered these uncertainties with his strong debut at the PWT, where he finished third, only losing out to Cynthia and Volkner. Since then, he’s become something of a national treasure, with a large online following and a solid place in the rankings. He is currently rated 6th in the world.        


    Silver has always been a powerful trainer, but he lacks the patience and sensitivity that Gold has, as well as the eagerness to learn from criticism. He’s skilled with temperamental types of Pokémon - the dark-types and the more mischievous ghosts - but he struggles to be flexible in his training approaches. Because Gold so often tagged after him and pestered for battles that he would always win, Silver began to underestimate his own ability and think himself weak. Partially because he’s horribly insecure in most ways, but partially because Gold being stronger than average was something he couldn’t contemplate - not at first. 

    Silver challenged the Gyms at a similar pace to Gold, but he is yet to achieve his eighth badge. The reason for this has nothing to do with his ability, but with the fact that he and Clair clashed so much upon their meeting that he refuses to go back to her Gym and challenge her. Years on, he still avoids her at League functions, which he sometimes attends as Gold’s plus-one.     

    As for his career, I don’t know what it is, but I doubt it pertains to battle. He still has his Pokémon, but he never enters tournaments or trains them any more, though Gold sometimes nags that he shouldn’t let his talent go to waste. In truth, however, the industry probably wouldn’t suit him. He’s too much of a bad loser.


    Crystal got her LCP around a similar time that Gold did, but her battle style is a little zany and off-key. She struggled to gain Gym badges at first because of her dazy attention span and her determination to do things her own way, but did eventually establish a weird, wild technique that, oddly enough, would lead her to victory. Her team isn’t completely balanced due to her preference for bizarre, slow-to-train Pokémon - quagsire, dunsparce, slowpoke, sudowoodo - but she has an uncanny ability to make what shouldn’t work work, and her party is no exception. 

    Her strange technique could only carry her so far, however. She obtained all of the badges, much to the Gym Leaders’ surprise, but never challenged the Elite Four. She contemplated the idea at first, and booked an all-out match with Chuck (who she thinks is just great) to test herself. When she was brutally obliterated, she just shrugged her shoulders and decided that she’d better start being interested in something else.

    Nowadays, she’s probably cheerily working in an allotment or reading stories in exciting voices to nursery kids, or selling woollen creations on Etsy, or doing whatever else takes her fancy. Nothing to do with Pokémon, but she’s happy, I’m sure.


    Lyra began a voyage around Johto at the same time as Gold despite not being hugely interested in Pokémon. Rather she wanted an excuse to get away from home and school and gain some independence. Nonetheless, for someone without much enthusiasm, she wasn’t bad at battling, quite handy with neat, pretty little strategies and a tricky marill. She gained three of the badges at a dawdling pace, preferring to sightsee rather than train, before one of the aides in Goldenrod City Gym saw her battling and told her that she ought to try her hand at coordinating. After one visit to Goldenrod’s contest hall, she completely abandoned battle and set herself on a new path. Her and her marill were a success in beginner’s tournaments, and their partnership gained more and more popularity over the years. She was marketable, due to her cutesy good-looks and her pretty, home-made outfits, but boasted enough skill and potential to make it big in the industry with proper coaching. By the time she was seventeen, she had been scouted, and eventually travelled to Sinnoh against her parents’ wishes to make her name. Whilst she never achieved the household-name status she was hoping for, she did do fairly well as a contest star, winning a few of the smaller championships. 

    Coordinators usually zip in and out of favour quickly, having firework careers, and she was no exception. She did, however, manage to remain within the industry after her time as a coordinator was over. Having always made her contest outfits herself, she now has a steady career designing bespoke costumes for new competitors.

    Not a Morning Person

    (tumblr. please stop hating me…)

    So this is for Franzi’s (@faith-in-dean) April Writing Challenge and I know its late - sorry!

    Prompt: “And I tell you it was huge!”

    Pairing: Sam x Reader (Dean x One Night Stand)

    Warnings: interrupted smut, sleep deprived reader, grumpy Dean, oversharing one night stand, Sammy being Sammy.

    taggity: @faith-in-dean @mrswhozeewhatsis @aprofoundbondwithdean @spnfanficpond @the-mrs-deanwinchester @pada-ackles @writingthingsisdifficult @meganwinchester1999 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @mamapeterson @mrs-squirrel-chester @bkwrm523 @eyeofdionysus @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @spnashley @leviathanslovedick @abaddonwithyall @mysupernaturalfics @blushingsamgirl @unadulteratedstorycollector @beholders-chroniclers @dreamsfromthebunker @ruby-loves-supernatural @teamfreewill-imagine @ilostmyshoe-79 @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki

    Originally posted by yaelstiel

    Originally posted by supernaturalmentalhealthimagines

    Dean had kept you up all night with a blonde from the local bar, and now said blonde was trying to explain to you absolutely everything about Dean. Between your not listening and not caring you heard her mention Dean’s member, for the man who felt like a brother to you - you did not need, nor want, to know more than you already did.

    Keep reading