i . . . i gave myself feels making this

hello tumbler.edu, it turns out i am a lesbian after all and just liked the attention guys gave me because girls don’t find me attractive  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in all honesty, I was trying to make myself like boys and thought I could choose to/make myself like them over time but then I realised how harmful that way of thinking is and also it wouldn’t be fair on any potential male/male aligned partner to be dating a woman who only sees him as a best friend. so yeah. i need to just accept i’m gay and move on but sadly it’s hard and i really feel like i’ve been dealt a lousy hand because being a lesbian is so lonely lol.

4

I remember being teased relentlessly throughout my childhood and my teenage life where people would say that because of my skin I’ll never be beautiful enough, they would even recommend skin bleaching products. So as a child I quickly realised that as a dark skinned girl I was not considered beautiful enough… At that time I didn’t know that it was the negativity from the people around me that was causing me to hate my skin and myself for that matter. I remember a time during school photos where a girl shouted “she’s too dark! You won’t see anything on her ID but her teeth!”, of course everyone laughed it out… And so did I…. Because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was offended… Their feelings felt more important than mine… After all growing up I was always reminded of how unlikely I was of ever being beautiful or finding someone that found my darkness beautiful…..
As a 19 year old today I sit here and say “I never gave in to skin bleaching”, “I was constantly reminded of how ugly I was but that only made me love myself even more….. I began considering myself as someone different, someone beautiful and out of the ordinary.”
Your skin no matter how dark it is that when you smile you can only see the glow of your teeth is worthy of love, your skin is that of a goddess and you should never feel anything about your skin but self love. I write this to all of the people that have gone through similar and worse, you don’t need to learn to Love your skin, the love is already there… You just gotta unleash it.

I would like to hear some stories of yours if you’ve ever gone through the same thing…. Message me on Instagram.
IG: YoungNubiie

You are love.
You are also heartbreak.

You are love because you made me feel a feeling I’ve never experienced before. Something so new.
You made me feel so calm when i had so much chaos going on in my mind. Every time i talked to you my soul just grew into something stronger. At some point, you were the only one I cared about, at some point you was the one floating thru my mind from 1am till 12pm.
I did everything in my power to make you happy and exposed myself to you. That everytime I saw you I was stuttering in my words and so nervous. You made me feel like I could face everything that was In my way. You gave me that positive mindset I was looking for all my life, that last piece of the puzzle I was looking for all my life. And It did actually fit perfect, connected.
Connected like our souls.
I lost myself way too much in your eyes, i saw paradises when I looked in your eyes. A sight of heaven.
We used to talk about the moon and found ourselves up in the sky. You shine like the stars. You were my light at the end of the tunnel. You made me feel like cold water on a summer day.
You made me feel like I was alive.
Endless conversations where once in my lifetime I didn’t feel useless. Made me feel like I was actually worth something. I can’t even remember the time where I wasn’t in love with you. I guess I’ve always been In love with you, even when I didn’t know you. You were the reason I wanted to wake up early in the morning, or not sleep at all.
Because reality became better than my dreams.
You changed my life so much and I forever owe you for that.

—  yungogsyd 

How is it possible
That a single human being
Could fuck you up so much
And make you feel as if your self worth has diminished
up to the point where you don’t even have confidence
Or believe you can find someone to make you happy

I wonder if you know,
how exactly you have broken me
How I look in the mirror and think,
I am not good enough.
I stare at myself and truly believe
no one will ever love me
at least not as much as I love them,
because I give too much and that is just exhausting.

I get anxiety all the time,
at the thought of you
At the thought of ever loving someone
The way I loved you.
Of getting attached
because I fear they will all become you,
constantly disappointing me.

I don’t have confidence anymore,
I can’t even talk to someone else
because I don’t think anything I say will be good enough
But I am fucking good enough
You just made me feel that I could never be.

I’m afraid of the world because of you,
Of people like you
That act so selfishly and call it,
“Making myself better”
When in reality
You’re a shitty indecisive person
That cannot let go of the one person
Who gave you everything
And you realize a little too late,
they are all you’ve ever wanted.

But guess what,
I’ve know that for a long time.
I’ve known you were all I ever wanted,
the sad part is
You changed.

You are not the person I fell in love with.
And I’m not the person you feel in love with

I am the person you destroyed
but I will also be the person
that will find happiness,
without you.

—  basically word vomit

Azaj,17, Oakland, Calif. Transgender girl. Part 1

1-As long as I can remember I always knew I was a girl. I was just very feminine, not because I tried to be, but because it was just natural. I remember when I was in elementary school everything was separated by girl and boy, it was confusing for me because I was a boy physically, but was a girl with my heart, mind and soul. It was not until I was in the 6th grade that I came across the term transgender and when I did so many questions I had started to be answered. I finally felt like I knew who I am. I knew I could trust it because it made me feel complete, that confused feeling was no longer there, but it was still a secret.

2.  It was not until I was in the 10th grade that I came out as transgender. I was really difficult because I was so used to hiding myself, but when my friends gave me the courage I needed I was unstoppable. I was finally being myself. I was wearing make-up and the clothes I wanted to wear. I truly believe I was a happier person once I came out. I started to regain that light I lost as kid. I wanted to spread my pretty colors everywhere! I had to show everyone that I had found my place in this world and that is anywhere I choose to be.

4. It is really different living as myself. I never thought that this would be happening. Before I felt like I was always trying to squeeze into jeans that were 6 sizes too small, but now it feels like am in jeans that were made just for me. I don’t feel uncomfortable. I am not always sad or overly upset. I am free. I now feel like I have a purpose. I no longer wake up hating myself or this world that does not understand me. I wake up with a smile, not because my life is so great, but because I love who I am. We will not hide anymore!

5. Have people you know been supportive?

Yes, I have a really great support system. My friends and family loves me for me and I am so grateful, but I mean not everyone I have told supports me.  It is something that comes with being transgender. People come and go in life and it hurts, however life goes on. I was told by my aunt that I am not in charge of anyone’s happiness, but my own. I strongly agree! If you support me I have room your opinions and ideas, but if you don’t you should have nothing to say about what I am or what I do in my life.  

Photo by Annie Tritt

DPR facts / profile
  • “Dream Perfect Regime (DPR) is an independent, multigenre, music and video group. We create, direct, and edit all types of visual work as well as curate artists stemming fro a wide array of musical backgrounds and influences. Based in Seoul, our primary focus is to engage viewers by producing a unique and dynamic experience of both visual and audio output”.
  • DPR started with no major backing nor any financial support.
  • They might release some merch soon.
  • According to Chris, they all gather together to watch reaction videos.

CHRISTIAN YU

  • His Korean name is 유바롬 (Yoo/Yu Barom).
  • He used to be known as Rome.
  • He was born on September 6th, 1990.
  • He was born in Sydney, Australia.
  • He speaks both English and Korean.
  • He moved to Korean when he was 18.
  • He is 174cm.
  • He is good at B-boying.
  • He used to be a member and the leader of the K-pop group C-Clonw. On October 5th, 2015 the group was disolved.
  • He debuted on July 19th, 2012.
  • He likes football and surf.
  • He has a dog named Choco.
  • He collects professional cameras.
  • He plays the drums since he was young. He used to be in a band and really liked Heavy Metal.
  • He is the founder of DPR.
  • He is the director and chief editor in DPR.
  • He directed Mino’s debut MV.
  • He has a dog named Lori.
  • His favourite colour is green (he said this on an IGLive and it might change with time).
  • He likes the songs “Diamonds” by Tory Lanez and “Have You Seen That Girl” by GoldLink.
  • He grew up surfing and likes to keep doing it when he goes to Australia.
  • He likes women who are passionate about what they do.
  • His favourite cologne is Giorgio Armani.
  • He is friends with BTOB’s Peniel and B.A.P’s Zelo.

DPR LIVE

  • His real name is 홍다빈 (Hong DaBin).
  • He was born in January 1st, 1993.
  • He was bon in Korea.
  • When he was 5 years old he moved to Guam.
  • He is about 169cm.
  • He is a rapper.
  • His most popular song is “Eung Freestyle”, featuring Punchnello, Owen Ovadoz, Sik-K and Flowsik.
  • He usually introduces his raps with the sentence “Coming to you Live!”.
  • His tagline “Coming to you Live!” is much like a live broadcaster reporting at the scene of a weather event to the viewers in real-time. This is related to the meaning of his artist name.
  • He didn’t take music seriously until he released “Till I Die” on his YouTube channel.
  • He wants to do his best in order to “give off the same lasting, meaningful impression a lot of artists that he admired, had on him. This kind of reflects hand-in-hand to why I ultimately chose my artist name to be LIVE”.
  • He came up with the name LIVE to remind himself of two motives: 1) ”to always LIVE LIFe in the present, both through ups&downs and through success&failures”; 2) “to always remain honest and true to one’s self and one’s craft”.
  • He is inspired by artists that create their own sound and colour.
  • He considers DPR his family.
  • He joined DPR around March 2015.
  • He likes the songs “Sacrifices” by Big Sean and “Colors” by Taylor Bennet.
  • His favourite song from “Coming To You Live” is “Right Here Right Now”. (He said this during an IGLive and he said that it was at the moment, so it might change).
  • He likes Skizzy Mars.
  • He is a dog person.
  • He spent half of his life in Guam and half in Korea.
  • He prefers rice over noodles.
  • He says that being told to choose between Christian or Scott is like choosing between mom and dad.
  • He used to listen to a lot of rock music and one of his favourite bands was Paramore.
  • He got the scar on his forehead when he was five years old after he banged his head on a metal thing.
  • When he was younger he didn’t like americano coffee, but nowadays he thinks it can give you a lot of energy.
  • He already did his military service.
  • He likes tall girls.
  • He said he will not make an Snapchat soon since Instagram and Twitter are overwhelming enough.
  • He is right-handed.
  • He is excited to watch SMTM6 because Dok2, Jay Park and Dean are on the show.
  • After coming to Korea, he worked at a Subway for a couple months.

CREAM

  • He is a producer.
  • He is a member of the duo LAYBACKSOUND.
  • He plays the piano.
  • He can sing, and he does some vocals in LAYBACKSOUND.
  • He doesn’t speak English, he understands and speaks a little, but he himself has said through IGLives that he is not very good.
  • His favourite song from the album “Coming To You Live” is “Laputa”.
  • He made tracks 1, 2, 4, 6 and 7 from the album “Coming To You Live”.
  • He likes video games.

CLINE

  • He likes video games.
  • He was born on the 29th April.
  • In one of their IGLives, Cream was teasing him about an Internet girlfriend.  I did not watch this myself, I only read a transcrip, so I am not sure what this all was about).

SCOTT

  • His name is Scott Kim.
  • He was born on 21st February.
  • He was born in the United States.
  • He is the production director (PD).
  • He is the one in charge of making the merch (according to DaBin they are currently working on it).
  • He gave DaBin a jacket as a present.

KANG GUN

  • He has a cat.
  • He is the assistant director.

JUNGMOO JUN

  • Has a son.
  • He was born on the 27th March.

Disclaimer: facts in italics are not confirmed or at least I haven’t seen any real proof. Feel free to let me know if there is any mistake.

Crds: IG@/dpr.fanpage & IG@/coolnightcrew

Real talk, part of the reason I get weirdly emotional over Weiss being held is because pretty much everything we’ve seen so far points to a scarcity of loving physical affection in her life.

Because we have moments like this

which we all laughed at endlessly, as we should, because it’s hilarious. But the contradiction in what she says and what she does is also indicative of the fact that Weiss really doesn’t know how to show her affection for people. Which also gives us moments like this

…not “physical affection” exactly, but a caring moment, a “tell us what’s troubling you,” somewhat awkwardly executed and confrontational. Some of the tension between her and Blake specifically is probably contributing to the action here, since this episode comes on the heels of the V1 Monochrome train Black and White. But even considering that, she shows genuine concern, reveals that she’s been preoccupied by Blake’s mood, and offers help in a dramatic gesture that manages to feel both caring and out of place at the same time.

And watching her interactions with Winter, I’m starting to understand where some of these contradictions stem from. Weiss greets her very formally (like royalty, I remember seeing someone point out) and has to break down the wall of what I originally interpreted as apathy before Winter starts to (stiffly) show her affection. I doubt the two of them get the opportunity to hug often like they did in episode 4, and their physical interactions before that moment were almost entirely Winter correcting her.

That first hit gets played off as affectionate (“I don’t recall asking about your ranking, I’m asking how you’ve been.”) and we see that Winter actually does care about Weiss on a personal level. But coupling a slap with a thoughtful inquiry carries some implications about Weiss’s family life, especially for the dynamic they seem to have that at times more closely resembles parent-child than sisters. I’m not saying that no one ever hugged Weiss or showed her love, because I was honestly touched by Winter’s “learn yourself” speech, and also because this happened

…but even here Weiss seems unsure how to react for a moment before she gives a cute lil smile and makes me go “awww”

“It was really good to see you, Winter.”

This, right here, is what Weiss needs more of in her life: unconditional affection coupled with the reminder that people care about far more than the perks of her last name, which she’s starting to learn isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

The more time Weiss spends with her team, the more we see her depart from the awkward days of V1. We’re not even halfway through volume 3 yet but she’s managed to go from ineffective Pyrrha-fawning, bossy standoffishness, and racist comments, to someone who is willing to step away from her father’s influence and sacrifice herself for her friends (yes Weiss, they are indeed your friends). And she manages to make that growth without totally losing her trademark attitude.

I attribute these changes mostly to RBY’s influence. The beautiful part is that they all challenge and support her in different ways. Ruby’s enthusiasm, combat style, and leader status all really rubbed Weiss the wrong way…

…but she also provides unwavering acceptance of Weiss for who she is and genuinely admires her independent of her family status.

Blake’s background automatically put the two of them at odds and forced Weiss to really examine her stereotyping behavior…

…yet Blake chose to catch her as she fell and carry her to safety even though she had the perfect opportunity to fuck up Torchwick while he was practically begging her to do just that.

Yang cares little for the spoiled rich girl attitude, shares a lot of Ruby’s “fly by the seat of your pants” fighting style that contradicts Weiss’s attention to perfect form, and has a fire affinity to contrast Weiss’s ice affinity…

…yet they collaborate so wonderfully, and Yang’s immediate reaction after the tournament fight ends as she’s coming down from rage mode is to run to Weiss’s side.

Tell me, can a heart be turned to stone?” she sings in White Trailer, but these three seem bound and determined to make sure that doesn’t happen.

IN CONCLUSION: Everyone should hug the snowy shitlord as much as is humanly possible.

4

SISTAR Handwritten Letters to Fans

“7 years have already passed by I think I felt especially happy and less stressed because of the members that stood by me, as well as our STAR1.Looking back, I feel saddened and sorry that we didn’t get to spend as much time with our fans. No matter how I present myself on whatever stage, I will never forget my love for our members and fans.I love you …. I’m sorry … and thank you. I’ll be releasing good music Fighting, everyone, until the very end.” — Soyou

“Hello Star1. This is Bora.Every year I say that the fans make me happy and I’ve had so much fun and been so happy for the past 7 years.The time that the SISTAR members have spent with Star1 were very precious and happy times. It seems like I have reached further out than my efforts have shown. I feel more and more sad that I wasn’t able to show an even better side of myself during SISTAR’s promotions.For me, it was difficult to always show a bright image but the fans always gave me even more strength. In the future, I will never forget to this image and continue being strong. I got a lot of memories while writing this. Now, the members will all be going their separate ways, I will be cheering for them.But it’s not like you all won’t ever see me. In the future, I will put in the effort to show a good image of myself as Yoon Bora.To everyone who loved both SISTAR and Bora, to everyone who stuck with us, thank you. It was a happy time. I will be happy in the future too. I love you.”— Bora

“To all the STAR1s who have loved and supported SISTAR, this is SISTAR’s leader Hyorin.It’s already been 7 years since SISTAR debuted and the time I spent as Hyorin of SISTAR with the members and the fans was priceless and like a dream. The members of SISTAR have chosen to continue on a new path to move onto our second stage in life.STAR1, you guys have showed us how happy it can be to get up on stage, sing, and be loved by someone…and we thank you for that. With great sadness, we will continue to support each other and grow and show you a better side of us. The members and STAR1 will forever be in my heart and thank you for giving me more love than I deserve. I thank you with all my heart, and I love you..” — SISTAR’s Leader Hyorin

“For our fans, STAR1!I’m very sorry for greeting you guys after such a long time. I have so much I want to say to you guys that I am having trouble thinking of what to say first.It’s been 7 years since we debuted as SISTAR. I just want to say thank you to everyone who supported us throughout all these years.Thanks to the continued love and support, we were able to continue as SISTAR for such a long time. I really believe it’s because of you guys that everyone in our group along with myself, got here.It is with a heavy heart that I say that we will be disbanding after this album. We wish you guys will support us with our individual activities and we will return the favor as well.I will work harder and stronger from now on to connect with my fans even better.Cheer for us! Thank you.” — Dasom

anonymous asked:

how did you learn how to draw? and any tips for people who want to learn?

i get this question often and i’m never quite sure how to answer it, because i didn’t really learn it from anyone/anywhere? for me it wasn’t about how i “learned” to draw, but how i “allowed” myself to draw. for years i felt guilty drawing because it was something i did secretly instead of studying. this went on forever until around 2 years ago, when i finally gave myself the time to draw. so, to answer your question my tips would be-

  • don’t rush
  • when you’re drawing, you’re drawing. try and forget about everything else
  • give yourself some time
  • explore different styles (especially when you’re beginning. having an “artstyle” doesn’t make you cool)
  • look back at your progress from time to time and feel good about what you’re doing
Positive Coping Thoughts

For those who have been emotionally neglected or abused, your head may be filled to the brim with negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you. As I’ve emphasized in my past posts, these negative thoughts come from how you were treated or raised growing up. While you are working toward recovery, it is essential to add some positive coping thoughts to your regular practice. Here are some good positive coping thoughts to tell yourself during times when you become triggered… many of them specialized for those who are healing from emotional abuse/neglect:

I am important and worthy. (Even if my family tried to brainwash me otherwise).

I am ALWAYS deserving of love and respect.

I am a survivor.

The fact I am standing here today is proof of my unquestionable strength.

I will continue to move forward in life with my strength.

I will not tolerate disrespect, violence, or disregard in any of my relationships.

I do not need to maintain relationships with people who do not prioritize me or who actively hurt me.

It is completely okay to cut people out of my life. 

I NEED to learn how to cut people out of my life, as it is a part of my healthy recovery.

I will not overwork myself in my relationships, and give more than I am receiving.

I deserve to receive.

I will strive to live my life with balance.

It is okay to say no.

I don’t need to answer or respond to anyone’s negative thoughts or opinions.

Someone’s negativity is not mine to hold; it is theirs.

It is okay to make mistakes. I am only human. We all make mistakes.

I may feel bad about myself now, but that is only because I have never gotten the chance to discover who I really am.

I deserved so much more than what my parents/family gave me.

I will commit to rising above my parents’/family’s negativity, in order to actualize my true self.

From this point on, I refuse to let anyone hold me back, including my parents/family/abuser.

You can also make up your own positive coping thoughts, but write them down in your journal or put it in your phone–whatever helps you. And pull them out when you need a reminder. It’ll take time to shift your thinking, so expect that, but if you make your positive coping thoughts into a habit, I guarantee you that your mind will eventually start to shift! ♥

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY SENTENCE MEME

possible spoilers.

  • ‘ whatever i do, i do it to protect you. ‘
  • ‘ you’re confusing peace with terror. ‘
  • ‘ have to start somewhere. ‘
  • ‘ you will never win. ‘
  • ‘ come. we have a long ride ahead of us. ‘
  • ‘ is that ___ ? he/she/they look a little different than i imagined.’
  • ‘ what part of ‘urgent message’ do you guys not understand
  • ‘ you want to get out of here
  • ‘ congratulations. you are being rescued. ‘
  • ‘ i like to think he/she’s/they’re dead. it makes things easier. ‘
  • ‘ i’ve never had the luxury of political opinions. ‘
  • ‘ what we need is someone who can get us through the door without being killed. ‘
  • ‘ that is a bad idea. i think so, and so does ___. ‘
  • ‘ you find him/her/them, you kill him/her/them. then and there. ‘
  • ‘ why does he/she/they get a ___ and i don’t ? ‘
  • ‘ i find that answer vague and unconvincing. ‘
  • ‘ trust goes both ways. ‘
  • ‘ i will not fail. ‘
  • ‘ yes, i’m speaking to you. ‘
  • ‘ for that answer, you must pay. ‘
  • ‘ we’re not here to make friends. ‘
  • ‘ tell me you have a back-up plan. ‘
  • ‘ there are a lot of explosions for two people blending in. ‘
  • ‘ quiet
  • ‘ and there’s a fresh one if you mouth off again. ‘
  • ‘ let them pass in peace. ‘
  • ‘ is your foot alright
  • ‘ you almost shot me
  • ‘ there is more than one sort of prison, ___. i sense you carry yours wherever you go. ‘
  • ‘ not a day goes by where i don’t think of you. ‘
  • ‘ did they send you – ? did you come here to kill me ? ‘
  • ‘ all it’s ever brought me is pain. ‘
  • ‘ i will run no longer, but you must save yourself. ‘
  • ‘ it’s beautiful. ‘
  • ‘ i’m not very optimistic about our odds. ‘
  • ‘ i believe i owe you an apology, ___. your work exceeds all expectations. ‘
  • ‘ we stand here amidst my achievement, not yours
  • ‘ does he/she/they look like a killer ? ‘
  • ‘i don’t need luck, i have you. ‘
  • ‘ i have so much to tell you. ‘
  • ‘ you lied to me. ‘
  • ‘ you’re in shock. ‘
  • ‘ you’re in shock, and looking for someplace to put it. i’ve seen it before.’
  • ‘ i had every chance to pull the trigger. but did i ? ‘
  • ‘ i had orders. orders that i disobeyed. but you wouldn’t understand that. ‘
  • ‘ we don’t all have the luxury of deciding when we want to care about something. ‘
  • ‘ you’re not the only one who lost everything. some of us just decided to do something about it. ‘
  • ‘ be careful not to choke on your aspirations, ___. ‘
  • ‘ what chance do we have ? the question is, what choice ? ‘
  • ‘ the time to fight is now. ‘
  • ‘ every time i walked away from something i wanted to forget, i told myself it was for a cause i believed in. ‘
  • ‘ i couldn’t face myself if i gave up now. ‘
  • ‘ ___, i’ll be there for you. ‘
  • ‘ ___ said i had to. ‘
  • ‘ not used to people sticking around when things go bad. ‘
  • ‘ welcome home. ‘
  • ‘ one fighter with a sharp stick and nothing left to lose can take the day. ‘
  • ‘ make ten men feel like a hundred. ‘
  • ‘ good luck, little sister/brother. ‘
  • ‘ i’ve got a bad feeling about this – ‘
  • ‘ light it up. ‘
  • ‘ why does nobody ever tell me anything, ___ ? ‘
  • ‘ here. you wanted one, right ? ‘
  • ‘ your behavior, ___, is continually unexpected. ‘
  • ‘ ___ ! come back ! please ! ‘
  • ‘ ___, don’t go. don’t go. i’m here. i’m here. ‘
  • ‘ it’s okay. it’s okay. ‘
  • ‘ this is for you, ___. ‘
  • ‘ do you think anybody’s listening
  • ‘ you may fire when ready. ‘
  • ‘ ___ would have been proud of you. ‘
Discriminating douchebag gets served

I was talking to this guy on the internet for a couple of years, and he started being a total dick during the second year. It wasn’t even gradual, he just snapped over the smallest things. (ex: we used to be in an online relationship, and I once took a break to get my shit together. I didn’t respond to some of his messages because I was out with my friends more and he accused me of hating him, cheating on him, and being a whore).

I tried very hard for the longest time to keep it on good terms, but even a joke and he’d snap. He’d make all sorts of rude comments about my sexuality, gender, suicide, racism, etc. He even sent a picture of a mutilated kitten and threatened that I’d look the same if I ignored him again (after I didn’t respond for 2 minutes) and made many violently sexual threats. I decided after 6 months of everlasting patience that I had enough evidence. After I made it clear that I didn’t want to keep in touch, he decided he’s harass me constantly. I blocked him and he continually found all of my social medias and kept making new accounts to harass me with.

Finally I said to myself, “It’s time.”

I went on omegle and gave away his social media and contact information advertising hookups and doing the same on various other sites as well. This was about 3 months ago and 1 month ago he called me claiming to be sorry.

I decided to test the waters, and whaddya know, no changes.

I was feeling especially evil, so I went through facebook and some name searching and going off of the information I already knew about him, I found ways to contact his parents, brother, and sister. Impressive, since he lives across the country and I didn’t know his last name. So I collect many folders containing a gargantuan amount of screenshots, hookup ads that I made, a couple of his nudes, and watched the magic happen.

He hasn’t contacted me since.

Spread Your Legs For Me C.H

Originally posted by bri3395

warning: smut

word count: 1400+

summary: Calum fingers you while driving

requested?: yes, hope you liked it anon :)) I hope you guys are ready because we have a week full of smut coming out, tomorrow, wednesday and hopefully thursday so get ready. 

this turned out a bit eh but i think it’s alright, also IM OPENING REQUESTS AGAIN YAY

so now song requests and full requests, fluff or smut are open again so go nuts on anon or not on anon, whichever you prefer :))

- Find my Masterlist here -

________________________________________________________________

Keep reading

the t-shirt thief (m)

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 9,812

description: In the midst of your loneliness due to Taehyung’s absence, you decide that you need a distraction, which somehow manifests itself as going over to his apartment and stealing a t-shirt or two… or three… 

request: being in a relationship with taehyung, and stealing all of his t-shirts while he’s busy with bts’ latest comeback + smut

cr.


You watched with a prominent downward quirk of your lips as Taehyung ran around the apartment, quickly stuffing clothes into a duffel bag as he scurried in every direction to gather his things before he had to head off to the dorms. It was time for a comeback, and all of the members agreed that it would be much easier on everyone to just stay at the dorms together during the busy hype of the first couple of weeks. This cut down the annoyances of people showing up to schedules at different times, or getting caught in traffic, so you completely understood the point of it… You just wished it didn’t mean having to stay back at your apartment all alone.

At this point in your relationship with Taehyung, you probably should have been used to the notion of him having to leave for a few weeks, or sometimes even a few months, every once in a while… but just because you were used to it, didn’t mean you had to like it.

You fell back against the mattress, your mind heavy with thoughts, and you weren’t exactly trying your hardest to mask the disdain you had for him leaving, so it wasn’t surprising when you felt the slight sink of someone taking the spot next to you on the bed. You opened your eyes, a concerned looking Taehyung coming into view.

“Please don’t pout. You know I don’t want to leave.” He reached forward, lightly pinching at your bottom lip that was sticking out.

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1. i don’t know how to say this so i’m just going to say it - don’t text me anymore. don’t call me. don’t ask me how i am when you feel lonely. don’t check up on me. don’t tell me you’re doing well. i don’t want to hear it. i don’t want to hear it because you fucking broke me. GOODBYE.

2. hey, okay, sooo i thought i could be friends with you but it hurts too much. not that you hurt me that much. no, i’m okay. i don’t cry in the shower anymore. some nights i actually fall asleep before 4 a.m. but then there’s some nights where i think about you and her kissing and it’s all that’s on my mind for days. no, no, it’s not like that. it’s not that i love you anymore or that i’m jealous. i just hate you for what you did to me. so yeah, anyways, just thought you should know i don’t want to be friends. hope you’re doing well though. maybe our paths will cross again.

3. i told myself many, many months ago that if i wanted this to work, if i wanted us to be friends, i couldn’t talk to you about my feelings ever again. i couldn’t turn every conversation into our failed relationship. so for many, many months, i’ve been letting it eat at me instead. i don’t want it to eat at me anymore and you don’t want to listen to me whine so i think this has to end. sorry.

4. hey, listen: some days i’m fine, but the smallest things get to me. like i’m pretty sure i saw you on her snapchat story. it’s none of my business, but i’m really mad at you for it. i’m really mad that you still talk to that girl you chose over me and you still like all of these girls’ facebook photos but you never like mine. and it’s not fair for me to be mad at you for having friends or being happy, i have no right to be, you didn’t do anything wrong. but it still gets to me, still eats away at me, still makes me want to knock down your door and ask you why the fuck you had to leave, why you had to do anything you did, why i poured all of my love into you that i didn’t have any left for myself and you took it and gave it to somebody else. god, this hurts. i don’t want you to know how badly this hurts but it does. i’m leaving you and taking this hurt with me.

5. hey, hope you’re doing well, but this still feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from. and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry, it’s not fair to you to have to listen to this shit because it’s been two whole years and i’m still not over it. and that’s my problem, not yours. it will never be your fault that i’m so goddamn sensitive. i’ve never been able to get over anything and i hate myself for it. please let me heal. please leave.

6. hey, remember the summer where i hooked up with the first guy who wasn’t you, when you had me blocked on everything and i couldn’t see what you were up to? well, i still read my posts from that summer and i was actually HAPPY. can you believe that? i was actually going about my life without you and i wasn’t thinking about what you did to me. but here i am again, thinking about it and the only thing that’s changed is that you speak to me. and i would love to be friends with you, i would, i’ve been trying so hard to be for months, but it’s making me so damn miserable. and i’m so jealous that she gets to be friends with you and i don’t. i’m sorry i’m not her. i’m sorry i never will be.

7. i’ve been ignoring your messages on purpose and you keep texting me again and it’s exhausting to have to ignore you all of the time and feel so guilty about it. i just don’t understand how you just don’t get the hint. so here’s a bigger one: LEAVE ME ALONE.

8. hey, okay, i know this is sudden but i don’t want to hear from you anymore. i don’t want to think about this anymore. i want to move on with my life and there’s no room for you in it. it was stupid of me to think that just because you’ve always been a good friend to me that we can be friends. we can’t.

9. hey. first off, i want to say i’m sorry, i just need to do what’s best for me. secondly, thank you for always being there when i needed you, but i don’t need you anymore. for now, it has to be just me. it feels like i’m breaking up with you and we’re not even dating, but this is it - this is goodbye. forever. don’t contact me.

10. all you ever did was hurt me. fuck you. i don’t want to see your stupid fucking name on my phone anymore. fucking get out. leave.

—  10 text messages i’m afraid to send because i don’t want to say goodbye to you, not again
Cassian (& Nesta) Headcannon

This got a bit…. long

Concept:

•Cassian, with his 500 years of living, has picked up how to play some musical instruments out of curiosity
•BUT, he’s never really played in front of or for anyone
•His favorite instrument is definitely the piano
•He just- he loves the way the chords flow together and the sounds that resonate in a room even after he’s stopped pressing down on the keys
•He loves to lose himself in the notes; to let everything in him be consumed by the way music affects him so intensely
•So one day, Cass is in the House of Wind or something when everyone else is gone doing their own thing
•He’s wandering around and just so happens to walk past one of his favorite rooms, where his beloved piano is bathed in golden sunlight in this open, airy balcony, music room type of thing
•And his fingers twitch as his side, yearning to create melodies long since suppressed, considering he hasn’t played in what seems like forever
•So he gently crosses the room and sits down on the bench; runs a hand lovingly across the lid of his piano before placing his fingers tentively on the ivory keys
•And with a deep breathe to calm his nerves, he begins to play
•It’s messy at first; years of not playing has caused his brain to muddle his usual technique, but he still continues, pushing on
•Slowly, slowly, the notes start to come out smoother
•Memories and notes come back to him in waves; his fingers dancing across the keys in excitement, having almost forgotten how good it feels to release his emotions and craft them into something beautiful
•He remembers now, why he started learning to play piano in the first place
•He remembers: a younger Cassian wandering around Velaris, centuries ago, and hearing something that stopped him in his tracks
•It was music- a type he’d never heard before; music that burrowed itself in his skin and settled along his bones
•So he followed that sound, coming to a shop with its door open, and peered in to see an older woman sitting at a piano bench
•He watched her for a few moments, losing himself in the movement of her hands- how intricate the chords seemed to be, and he wanted it so bad- wanted to know how to create something as breathtaking as that
•So after her musical piece came to an end, he approached her, swallowing his pride to get out the following breathless words, “Can you- can you teach me?”
•From then on, he would go to that little shop to be taught the ways of the massive instrument
•She taught him & he learned to know which pedals to push and how long to hold each note; how to build a piece higher and higher until the crescendo shattered into existence, all from the tips of their fingers
•Eventually, when he was quite advanced in learning and playing after months of practice, the woman told him that her job was done, all that was left was for him to create his own music instead of learning hers
• “You have so much inside of you,” she had said, gently pressing a palm to his heart. “You must take all those deeply buried feelings and let them out. Forge them into something useful, something that brings you peace instead of turmoil. You must understand that music is your companion, it will be there when all else is lost. Don’t forget to share your burdens, your happiness, your sorrow, with the one thing that will never betray you.” With that, she had taken the hand that was still on his chest and placed it on her magnificent piano, letting her own memories sweep her into an inviting embrace as Cassian quietly left for the day
•A few weeks later, as Cassian was making his way back to the old lady’s piano shop for a visit, he walked in to find the place empty- all except the piano they had played on together for hours on end
•And as he made his way over to the instrument, he found a note laying on top of it saying, “She is now yours, and she is your friend. Treat her well.”
•Cassian has never seen her again, but the memory of her will live on with him for as long as he’s alive
•So now, he is currently sitting still at the House of Wind, having lost himself in the memories of his earlier life, and he just - starts crying
•Like, it hits him so hard and he misses the old woman who taught him how to play and he wants to go back to the time where everything was not quite so hectic; before Amarantha and the King of Hybern and all the wars that he has fought in
•He wants to go back to the time where his soul wasn’t so heavy, even though he has never experienced a time where he’s been completely light hearted
•Not until her
•With that thought, his silent tears instantly slow until they stop
•Nesta
•When he’s with her, everything seems so simple
•Although she’s a pain in the ass a lot of the time, he wouldn’t have it any other way
•He recalls a past conversation with Rhysand, where his brother had confessed to him that when Feyre and him had first gone to the Summer Court, Feyre had told the High Lord Tarquin that, “It would be very easy to love you.” Rhys had been a wreck whenever it came to his mate (during the time she didn’t know she was his mate yet)
•But those words had stuck with Cassian for a while
•It is very, very easy to love Nesta
•With that notion, and feeling of love in his heart, he begins to play again
•But this song is slow, peaceful, and effortless
•He let’s his heart compose this piece, as his hands do the work
•The music is lovely, resembling the most cherished of his feelings
•And Cassian can’t help but memorize it; he knows it’s dedicated to his love- to Nesta
•And after this afternoon is over, and he has created the most graceful tune he has ever played, he knows he has to show her
•So when the opportunity arrives a week or two later, and Nesta & Cassian are alone, he brings her to his music room, and plays the piece he crafted for her
•And she knows, can feel it deep down in her soul, that the music he plays for her is for her ears alone
•She cherishes it, loves it, spills more than a few tears over it
•Cassian is so nervous and anxious because this is his first time showing someone this part of him, this love for piano
•But Nesta just comes over to sit next to him on the bench, and leans her head on his shoulder as she gently grabs his hand and entwines her fingers with his
•And he’s just silent, so full of happiness and he’s content and he’s proud to have a woman like Nesta in his life
•He tentively asks her, “Do you like it?”
•She turns her head to peer up at him, her eyes shining silver, “It’s perfect.”
•And the purest smile appears on his face and it just breaks her heart and mends it back together again all in the same instant and she leans in to kiss him
•And the kiss is slow and extraordinary, and it reminds them that they have the rest of their immortal lives to be with each other, and even in death they will not be separated

"You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” 1/3- Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : You have been married to Bruce for quite some years now, and you both knew it was inevitable that you’d get in danger one day…but you really never expected the Joker to start to be obsessed with you. CHAPTER 1/3. 

Warnings : mentions of sex, also, Bruce is “old” if that bothers you in any way…If your like me and have a thing for older guys, then carry on please.

PART TWO PART THREE

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

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Looking at yourself in the mirror of your bathroom, you groaned and turned around to glare at your husband that was taking a shower. He immediately felt that you were staring, but to his disappointment, it wasn’t for the reason he hoped for…

-Is something wrong dear ? 

-Yes Bruce, something’s wrong. How old are you ? 

-…What ? 

-Just answer my question honey. 

-…Hum, 46 ?

-Yes. 46. You’re 46 years old.  

At the way you were looking at him, mad as Hell, standing in the frame of the shower door that you just violently swung open, billionaire ex-playboy superhero Bruce Wayne got kinda worried. He was trying to figure out what he did that could have pissed you off that much, as you were really difficult to annoy, almost never getting angry…But boy when you were angry, it was scary. Apparently now though, you were more annoyed than mad. So he was trying to remember what he could have done. 

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