I feel like i’m living in two different worlds at the same time. There’s the external, that is the world that you know, the world of cities and people, interactions and schooling, of laughter and screams, everything that you and I share, everything that is physical. But for some reason i feel disconnected to it, it all seems faked. I feel like everything i do, all these interactions i make are hollow. It’s as if everyone is a member of the cast and i’m the interactive audience member. I’ve been put into the action without a script, and equipped with only a program of how things are supposed to go.
Then there’s the world that only I know, inside my head. The world that makes sense, where everything is peaceful and calm, where i feel this connection to nature and the universe. This one is genuine. This one is real. In my head i understand. i know what is important. i know what is true. In my world i don’t have to pretend or act out meaningless social norms, i just have to be, i just am.
When i try to mix these two, the world inside my head becomes a hurricane, a whirlwind of thought, this disaster zone of contemplation over the external. I begin to lose myself and my understanding of what is true and what is real. Only when i step away from the external, can my mind begin to calm. Only when i exit the theatre, can i become the director.
I know you dont care but the blogs that talk about you are so childish and embarrassing. These are grown women. Old enough to be wives and mothers. And they sit behind their computers talking shit over opinions about a boyband. It's just sad.
i do want to be very careful to point out that their ages/marital status etc have nothing to do with them being shitty people online. ultimately people who behave in shitty ways towards other people will do that whether they’re 15, 30, 45, 60, or 85.
because you’re right, grown adults in general should know better than to act like they’re still in high school. this isn’t mean girls. being regina george isn’t a good thing.
i appreciate your support and i thank you for it but i just want to make sure that none of us (even inadvertently) perpetuate any kind of ageist attitudes. there’s already such a huge stigma in fandom and in the media/in society towards women (particularly mothers) who continue to engage with fandoms beyond ~a certain ‘acceptable’ age~ and it really frustrates me because men are never held to the same standards, mocked or shamed for still liking certain bands, or shows, books (or comic books), or movies past ‘a certain age’.
some of the best people i’ve met in this fandom have children and/or are married and i feel privileged both to know them and to get to hear their opinions on fandom goings on (just like there are some incredibly bright teenagers in this fandom and some people in their 20s and 30s who have so many clever insights or thoughts to contribute).
Comic books seem to think that super-senses would be a cool and useful power, but my sister left the room five minutes ago and I’m still in physical pain from the residual smell of what was apparently her moisturiser, so
That BPD feel when I’m so hypersensitive to someone’s tone of voice on the phone and think that if they sound a bit more abrupt and curt than the last time I spoke to them I start to secretly panic and worry unnecessarily about whether I’ve done something to annoy them and make them hate me.
How a person with hypersensitivity processes being rightfully lectured at
Logical part of brain:
That person made a fair point. Although they raised their voice to you when they spoke, you understand that they were rightfully calling you out for a repeated mistake that affects your ability to function as an adult. They brought to your attention that you were legitimately doing something wrong, as opposed to lecturing you for no real reason. With this knowledge, you can work towards fixing the problem and bettering yourself as an adult.
Emotional part of brain:
THAT PERSON YELLED AT YOU!! YOU SHOULD BE MAD AT THEM FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! WHAT DID THEY SAY TO YOU??? WHO CARES!!! THEY YELLED AT YOU AND YELLING IS SCARY, SO BE MAD AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
Sit there in silent, emotionally-distraught confusion or make yourself look productive because you officially have no idea how the fuck to react to anything for the next few hours
How do you deal with being a hypersensitive person? It just feels as if even the smallest things can cause such emotional pain, let alone worser things. How do you avoid getting abused and treated badly by people that are more insensitive?
It’s important to have boundaries and to take space to heal, recharge, and to process from intense emotions and experiences.
Having boundaries means that you don’t put yourself in situations that will bring you difficulty unnecessarily. You’re not obligated to be a shoulder to cry on or to listen to people vent. If that sort of thing brings you emotional turmoil that you aren’t yet able to handle, have boundaries and simply let the person know that you’re not available for that right now.
Furthermore, recognize that because you are highly sensitive, there is likely a tendency to want to please other people, so that they can be happy, so that you too can be happy because you tend to feel whatever they feel.
This can lead to you being abused or taken advantage of, because you might be willing to do anything to make another person feel happy (because you feel whatever they feel). This is unhealthy.
It is much better to distance yourself from that kind of relationship, so that you are no longer feeling what the other is feeling. By taking space, you’ll be able to find peace on your own. This is healthy.
Then, when you’re ready, you can engage with others at a rate that is appropriate so as to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Furthermore, you’ll then be able to use your sensitivity as a gift (the way it was intended). You will be able to feel what others are feeling and tactfully be able to respond in a way that serves everyone involved, including yourself.
But in order to get to that point, you have to take space, set up boundaries, and begin to explore and understand your sensitivity over time.
NPD and AvPD are two relatively different personality disorders. You don’t often hear anyone speaking of their comorbidity, yet there are certainly people out there who have or believe they might have both disorders. Which is why I’d like to address this and compare and contrast them in an informational post.
Let’s start with differences. Just remember that when one has two contradictory personality disorders, they may experience one or the other contradictory symptom, both symptoms but in different situations, or a mix of the two symptoms simultaneously.
NPD and AvPD contrast in the following ways:
NPD involves a lot of anger and a lack of control over it, while AvPD causes an inhibition in feeling and expressing anger. This might cause one to experience hugely pent-up anger with no way of letting it out, except perhaps to self-destruct.
NPD can make someone desire a lot of attention or to always be the center of attention, while AvPD can make someone afraid of having too much attention on them out of the fear of being negatively scrutinized. This might manifest in a way that causes one to desperately crave attention but be too scared to do anything about it. They want to be praised and admired, but instead fear that they will be judged.
NPD causes a sense of grandiosity and superiority, while AvPD causes a sense of being inept and inferior to others. This is one of the biggest dichotomies in the two disorders. There’s really no other way of explaining it but that many people experience these two symptoms in a fluctuating manner, or even both at the same time. When praised, a person with both disorders may feel that they totally deserve such praise, but simultaneously have the nagging feeling that they can’t possibly be as amazing as they’re told. Alternatively, they may respond in a self-deprecating manner, but inwardly feel a sense of arrogance and inflated ego.
NPD makes it so that the person is largely focused on themselves, failing to even consider the needs of others, while AvPD may make it so that the person is hyper-focused on others’ needs and ignores their own needs to please people. There aren’t a lot of ways in which these symptoms can be experienced simultaneously, so they probably fluctuate, or someone with both disorders may experience only one or the other.
NPD often causes one to overshare and constantly talk about themselves, while AvPD causes one to fear opening up because they might be judged. This might make it so that a person with both disorders overshares and talks about themselves a lot, but finds themselves regretting it later on and believing they must’ve said something stupid.
Now, despite their differences, there’s a surprising overlap between NPD and AvPD. The two share the following potential symptoms:
Hugely negative reactions to criticism. Both can make one feel greatly injured by even constructive criticism. This can cause withdrawal and feelings of depression, or in the case of NPD, it can cause either internalized or externalized anger.
Avoidance of situations in which one might be ridiculed. Piggybacking off the last bullet point, people with both disorders may completely avoid some situations involving social interaction if they think that others will criticize them or find them to be flawed.
Fear of failure. This can cause one with both disorders to avoid opportunities in life in which failure might be an outcome. This includes even educational or occupational opportunities, leading to a life which may lack direction.
Being highly self-conscious and concerned with how one is viewed by others. Both NPD and AvPD make a person hypersensitive to the scrutinization of other people. They may be constantly wondering how others are seeing them in a social interaction or even just walking down the street.
Vulnerable self-esteem. Despite NPD’s reputation for being all about grandiosity and “high self-esteem”, it’s actually quite often centered around a very fragile self-esteem. This means that those with this mental illness base their self-esteem off of how others view them, or how they think others view them. If AvPD causes the default belief that others view them in a negative way, then they might have considerably low self-esteem which can only be increased by instances of praise and admiration.
Perfectionism. Both disorders cause one to be highly critical of themselves. They can make one believe that if their work is not perfect, if it’s not “the best”, then it might as well be the worst.
A strong need to be liked and approved of. NPD makes it so that one needs to feel basically worshipped by others, and AvPD makes it so that one desperately wants to be socially accepted. Both cases can cause one to feign politeness not necessarily for the sake of being polite, but for the arguably selfish reason of needing to be approved of.
Fantasizing about an ideal life. This is one of the diagnostic criteria for NPD, but it can also apply to AvPD. Both disorders can cause someone to be preoccupied with thinking longingly about success in life.
If you have anything you might be able to add to these lists, feel free to do so. This is all just off the top of my head and a lot of it relates to my own experiences.
Keep in mind, even if you relate to much of this, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have both personality disorders. Since many of these symptoms are very general and happen to relate to each mental illness, there are other possible things you may be dealing with. Remember to do lots of research on each individual personality disorder before making any decision as to what you may have.
[Various illustrations of Eve, a brown-haired Autistic white girl who has telekinetic powers. She is shown looking out a window, magically lifting books, holding a sparkler while mesmerized by its light, walking in a cloak, using her superior hearing to help a friend find a lost child, and talking to her mother.]
At age 11, I didn’t have a word for why I was different from other kids (besides “unique” and “gifted,” words supplied by my parents). So even though I had no idea what autism was, I made autistic character after autistic character. These autistic cuties were sensitive and connected to nature, with hypersensitive senses and quirky personal styles. Their development was often at their own pace, ahead in intellectual areas and behind in socioemotional ones. And their quirks inevitably charmed those around them.
Were they Mary Sues? Yes, for sure. They were also fantastic coping mechanisms for an undiagnosed little Autistic girl, with few friends and no explanation for why she was so out of step with her peers.
Celebrating autistic traits kept me strong, even as I faced challenges for which I had no words. I didn’t know why I was so alone, but my characters reminded me that it was okay to be unique, and that I could have worth while being misunderstood.
Eve and her cohorts were my special interest, my reason for waking up long before sunrise and writing for hours. They made me the writer, and the person, who I am today.
Gal Gadot: Has the audacity to defend her home country. Shocking thing defending your own home country. I mean jeez what a horrible person fighting for the place where she was born. Also, she was required by law to fight for her home. Simple research should cover that.
Henry Cavil: Is dating someone who is of age and both are consenting adults. A 30 year old woman also dated him when he was 17. But I’m sure some hypersensitive person on this site would find him at fault there too.
Jason Mamoa: No idea, feel free to gripe if you wish
Ezra Miller: Co-Directed a short documentary with Sol Guy (an African American man and BLM supporter) about Wilson’s horrendous lies. His band also stated that he is an avid BLM supporter
Me: Tumblr is full of problematic people. More problematic than the people they claim should “choke.” They grasp onto misinformation and spread that information like wildfire without looking into it first. I thought we all learned our lesson with the xKit fiasco, but it has only gotten worse. This site contributes to the anti-intellectualism that plagues the extremists in any conflict. Cognitive intellectualism died and hate was born again with Tumblr and Twitter and you have no one to blame but yourselves. This, and this increasing love to hate is upon all your heads.
why do you think tumblr attracts such hyper sensitive people?
It doesnt. the whole point of tumblr is being yourself to an open community so when a debatable topic or sensitive discussion arises (i.e. triggers, feminism, hatred/love for anime), people will openly state their satisfaction/dissatisfaction without any qualms whatsoever. the objectivity of ‘hypersensitive’ is debatable in of itself by who you follow and what your interests are. also its hard to define a ‘hypersensitive person’ over a media platform such as tumblr because the only thing you are judging people on is what they reblog or what they write on their posts and not their actions in real life.
Do you have any resources for what do do when a hypersensitive person becomes extremely overwhelmed? Like in the scenario where you can't/failed to simply avoid over stimulating environments and need to self regulate? Thank you!
Hi there! Those situations really suck =( Here is what I do when I become overwhelmed in these environments:
If possible, remove yourself/have someone help you remove yourself from the environment. Try to go somewhere dark and quiet
If you cannot remove yourself from the environment, have sensory defensive equipment ready. I would recommend keeping sunglasses and headphones/earbuds/earmuffs with out when you go out
If scent is a problem, carrying a small bag of coffee beans around with you to smell may help to neutralise these smells (unless you hate coffee beans)
Something weighted may be helpful too. It could be something specialised like a weighted lap pad or vest, or something like a heavy book or bean bag you could carry around. You could also wear a tight shirt or a pressure vest if you find that pressure helps regulate you
Consider therapeutic brushing using the Wilbarger Protocol. This can be done before you go out, and can help regulate your senses for longer. You can take the brush with you and go to a bathroom to do it every few hours, if you need to. You need to buy a TheraPressure brush to do this
Take stim toys with you. Stim when you feel you need to. You make feel shy or anxious about stimming in public, but most people honestly don’t notice or care, and it’s more important to keep yourself regulated!
Let people you are out with know you may become overwhelmed. If you can’t speak when you become overwhelmed, have some kind of signal you can give them to tell them you need to get out of there. The Emergency Chat app can also be very useful for this, and it’s free! [Apple] [Android]
Hmm, those are the things that I can think of. If there is anything I have missed, please feel free to reblog and add them! I hope this helps!