10

Three weeks before I saw All Time low I decided to draw up a comic based around the new album. I wanted to print it and give it to them but I ended up having to give it to a stranger to pass on so I hope they got it but I decided I’d post it online to share with anyone who is interested anyway. It’s low quality because it was sized to print not to post online and I didn’t want to have to resize it as I’m having issues with my laptop currently. So regardless of that I hope you like it! I’m so happy I actually got it done in time, it’s not to the standard I would have liked but I’m happy! Each page represents a different song on the album. If people like it, I’ll do back issues for old albums! So.. Let me know what you think!
A crazy sugar story. (But aren't they all?)

Getting desperate, i jumped on Tinder to hook me a fast squeeze, see if i couldn’t catch a couple hundred from a dinner date?

Well, hello Gary. Yes. Gary.
After a couple texts back and fourth, (i obviously was very clear on what i was looking for), we met at a bar in the city (Sydney), (he was covering ubers with $200).
That was the longest 2/3 hours of my life, this 56 year old man couldn’t stop talking about himself, how he founded a famous chip company, coming from the very bottom a thousand years ago actually picking the potatos from the ground or whatever, all to sell his partnership and move into real estate (i smell bullshit?). He just kept talking!
Highlight - at least he kept the cocktails coming!
Eventually he asked if I wanted to go back to his apartment, my first thought was, maybe i can get some more money out of him. When he get there i find out is ISNT ACTUALLY HIS APARTMENT BUT ONE HE SOLD THAT DAY AND THE NEW TENANTS WERE MOVING IN THE FOLLOWING DAY. Seriously, can’t make this shit up. The place is completely blank. No furniture.
He proceeds to ask if i party. I do not. I play along and innocent, “hehe I’ve never done that before! Im not feeling too confident!”
He tells me we can each go to the bathroom and “shelf” it. ALARM BELLS. I tell him to go first! He goes into the bathroom​ and i grab whatever i could from his wallet and get the fuck out of there. I believe i deserve the compensation from all that bullshit.
$550 bucks.

Stripper Tip For New Dancers

When it comes to being a dancers the only people you should really be on good terms with is…..

•The bartenders
•DJ
•House mom
•managers
•VIP host

Why do I say this, well I’ll explain…..

•The bartenders - these are the girls that customers pretty much talk to first before they go to a dancer. They’re going to ask them which dancer is worth my money, who’s the cutest, who gives the best lap dances etc. when that bartender likes you she’s going to make sure the money is heading in your direction.

•The DJ- it doesn’t pay for you to be rude to the DJ. Remember he’s the one who pretty much has control of how many stage dances you do. So the more stage dance the more money. The less stage dance, well you get the point. Also he has control of your music too so the nicer you are to him I guarantee you he will play nothing but songs you like.

•The house mom - I hands down love my house mom at my club. House moms are the ones who has control of the dressing room. He/she will get you looking right makeup wise. Will tell you their opinion on the outfits you wear. When you treat your house mom right, they will treat you even better. Make sure you tip out your house mom every night. Trust when I say they keep track on who does and doesn’t.

•The VIP host - this one might not seem important but it is. You might ask why because all they do is collect money from the costumer and let y'all know how long you got in there. Well no. When your sweet to the VIP host he’s going to try and up sale you. For example…..if a costumer comes and say he wants to do a 1 song for $25 dance. He’s going to convince the costumer why he should get the 3 for $60 instead. And majority of the time it works. That’s more money going in your bag.

And last but not least……

•The Manager- the most important person in the club. The one that hires you. The one that runs the club on their shift to make sure your safe and everything is running smoothly . Yes please be nice to them. At my old club the manager there was such a sweet heart and he liked me (not in a crush/flirtatious way) so he always made sure that when a customer came in the club with lots of money I was the first he would tell. When your nice to them they’ll make sure any girl that fucks with you will get fired, they will take care of you. Promise.

So yeah, Fuck being friendly to the dancers. Your best bet is to honestly just stay to yourself. But when it comes down to those 5 types of people I just mentioned, always remain on their good side. If you got a problem with something they said or did talk it out because making enemies out of them is only going to effect your money.

flickr

1968 Dodge Charger R/T | Scott Crawford - Dad’s Hot Rod (Hint… It’s not the Car)