hush tours

Ryden Theory

Ryden.  Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie.  The two men who have royally fucked up my life.  I wanted to “decode”  their relationship.  Song lyrics, interview, lore.  Everything.  If anyone has read M Theory about Sherlock, that is the feel I’m going for.  I’m going to do this chronologically, but first a quick overview of Ryden and a little background.   Even If you don’t believe they were in love, the loss of friendship is just as sad.

DISCLAIMER

A lot of this is speculation.  I love Brendon, Ryan, Jon, Spencer, Dallon and Sarah.  

Overview

So, Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie are both known because of the band Panic!  At the Disco.  A band that has had no fewer than nine members.  The originals, Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, and Brent Wilson.  Ryan and Spencer had been friends since they were five and had begun the band playing Blink-182 covers.  Many splits over twelve years, leaving lead singer, Brendon Urie, the only original member left.  

2005

Panic!  Was originally Ryan and Spencer Smith (original drummer’s)  band, joined by Brent Wilson (original bassist)  who was the one to bring in Brendon.  The thing is, Brendon was originally the backup guitarist with Ryan as lead vocals.  After hearing Brendon sing they made him lead singer and Ryan the lead guitarist.  Ryan was reluctant to let Brendon take over, these were HIS songs about HIS struggles.  Both Ryan and Brendon have talked about how hard it was for them to communicate on how to sing the songs.  You might know the next bit,  they sent some demos (Camisado, Time to Dance, Nails for Breakfast and Tacks for Snacks)  to Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy bassist)  who flew to LA and watched them practice.  He ended up signing them to his label, decaydance.  Ryan wrote all of the songs from A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, the album including hit, I Write Sins Not Tragedies.  Chances are, this is the first P!atd song you ever heard.  Ryan and Brendon were beginning to warm up to each other.

2006

Panic!  Really hit it big in 2006.  They sold 10, 000 albums in the first week.  Later on that year they won ‘MTV video of the Year’ for I Write Sins.  They began to tour. This is around the time they started the ‘stage-gay’.  You may have seen the ‘Perfect Passionate Kiss’ video  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK25McZVK0c) .  Later this year the first split occurred, bassist Brent Wilson was kicked out of the band.  It was revealed that he didn’t record any bass on the album.  Instead, Brendon had filled in and recorded all of the bass.  The Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour replaced Brent with Jon Walker.  The Circus tour’s most notable event was

Myrtle Beach.

Myrtle Beach

Panic! Had a dancer named Dream, who every night would go on stage and say that Brendon was a virgin.  In an interview, Dream said this was a lie.  Greta Salpeter from Hush Sound, who was touring with Panic!  Said that they went skinny dipping at Myrtle Beach around midnight.    This is normal.  Friends skinny dip together all the time.  What makes it part of Ryden Lore is good ol’ Ryro’s livejournal post later that night.

6-25-06 01:21:28 PDT - (No Subject)

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight. the salt burned you right out of my eyes. and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.

Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath. this is why I walk to the ocean. swim with jellyfish. I may never get this chance again. this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss. If you want to cry you should cry, and if you want to live you should live. You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia. it’s for lovers (orjustfriends) This is why I do it.

THIS IS AFTER BEING NAKED WITH BRENDON.  UNDER THE MOONLIGHT.  JUST SAYING.

Also, I’m going to mention a few lyrics here.  I will go deeper into lyrics later on.

Northern Downpour

Hey moon, please forget to fall down.

I’m just going to say, it’s probable that Ryan and Brendon fucked that night.  I think this lyric is about not wanting that night to end.  Hey moon, don’t you go down.  Don’t go down because that means this night is over.  A night which was probably one of the best of their lives.

2007

2007 was pretty uneventful.  They started to work on Pretty. Odd, around the same time Ryan’s dad passed away.  They worked through it though.  The band.

2008

They released the first single Nine in the Afternoon, early in 2008.  What stands out about this song is really the video.  Despite having great lyrics, if you’re looking at this through the Ryden Conspiracy Theorist Lens™ like I am, the video really stands out.  The end especially shows how comfortable they were around each other.  It’s just really cute.  I don’t want to talk about Northern Downpour yet because it’s 1 AM and I don’t want to cry right now.  So we’re going to talk about  When The Day Met The Night.  This is the Sun and Moon theory.  Ryan is the sun, Brendon is the moon.  Some believe it’s the other way around.  Please check http://analyzingpanic.tumblr.com/post/65592663208/i-think-its-the-other-way-around-ryans-the-sun for why I think this.  I think that the song is a story.  A story about how they fell in love.

 When the moon (Brendon) found the sun (Ryan)  he looked like he was barely hanging on.  I think this is saying that  before Brendon, Ryan was close to giving up.  

  Her (Brendon) eyes saved his (Ryan) life.  Brendon’s love saved Ryan.  Like it or not, Brendon’s voice is what gave Panic! That little boost that it desperately needed to make it big.  Many other songs reference this particular piece of lore.  Anyway, I guess I have to do it now.  Northern Downpour.  THE Ryden song.  First, we have to talk about Ryan’s 21st birthday.  Pete threw Ryan a party in New York, which is on the EAST coast.  Ryan was the only one drinking age, so the rest flew to RAINY NORTHERN SEATTLE.  Around midnight Ryan left his party and his girlfriend, Keltie Colleen, and flew to Seattle without warning.  Maybe you’ve already figured it out.

 I missed your skin when you were east.  Ryan was on the east coast away from Brendon.  This ties in with- You clicked your heels and wished for me.  Ryan wished he was with Brendon.  

 I know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home.  THIS LINE.  Ryan told Brendon to pay special attention to this line.  Also, this is the line when Brendon would start crying while performing it after the 2009 split.  The meaning though.  I think it’s about how yes, the world sucks, and hurts.  But if you ignore that, let the pain melt away, it’s home.  

You may be wondering how we know about Seattle.  The thing is, there’s photos of them there.  Eating at the Market.  Ryan in the same clothes as the night before.  Seattle itself is very important.  Ryan has said it’s his favourite place to perform.  Ry was driving to Seattle when he got the call that his father died.  Of course there’s also the “Maybe one day we’ll settle in Seattle” line.  Also Bren breaking down while performing   Casual Affair in Seattle.

Okay. I’m done with 2008.  Bring on 2009.

2009

If I didn’t want to talk about Northern Downpour, I definitely don’t want to talk about 2009.  But I gotta.  Fuck 2009.  2009 is the year of the split.  The cited reason of the split is ‘Musical Differences’  I think that this is partially true.  Ryan and Jon had begun to write music on their own.  They had also started to make fun of Brendon’s attempts at writing music.  The tension was building.  They did try to work things out by going to a cabin to write their next album,  Crickets and Clover.  Never heard of it?  That’s okay.  It was never released.  Now.  Now we talk about Cape Town.

Cape Town

This was it.  The End.  I can’t really talk about Cape Town.  No one knows what happened.

The Young Veins

Ryan and Jon left.  They formed their own semi-successful band.  There’s a few song we need to talk about.  Lie to the Truth is all about how Ryan tried to love Keltie, but couldn’t.  About how he wanted needed their relationship to stay private.  But I really need to talk about Cape Town. Yes, they wrote a song about.  BUT IT’S RYAN ROSS SO NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.  POETIC LITTLE SHIT. Specifically, the contrast between it and The Calendar.  I think that The Calendar is very important so I’ll talk about it separately later.

Cape Town vs.  The Calendar

The Calendar

And I meant everything that I said that night.   Brendon did mean everything he said.  Presumably they had a fight.

I will come back to life, but only for you.  THIS CHANGES THE LAST LINE.  Yes, Brendon meant what he said, he was mad. But he was still in love.  He can forgive him.  Only him.

Cape Town

Woke me in the morning, asked me if I meant it.  I’m assuming Ryan said some pretty shitty things to Brendon.  But he didn’t mean them.

I loved, I left you, in Cape Town.  Ryan did love Brendon, but they couldn’t stay together.

Vices & Virtues

I love this album.  So much.  I cried the first time I listened to it.  I swear this entire album is about Ryan Ross.  Every song has meaning so this’ll take a while.

The Ballad of the Mona Lisa

Say what you mean.  Ryan stop being so cryptic and just TELL BRENDON WHAT YOU MEAN.

Let the sun rain down on me.  Sun and Moon theory.

Give me a sign, I want to believe.  Brendon wants Ryan to show him he’s still in love with him, Brendon wants them to be together.

You’re guaranteed to run this town.  Good job, Ry!  You finally have control over you music.  Even later into 2009 Ryan and Brendon still struggled with how Brendon was singing Ryan’s lyrics.  This is Bren being petty.

I’d pay to see you frown.  Brendon wants Ryan to fail so he’ll finally realize that he needs Brendon.  

Pleased to please ya.  Brendon felt like Ryan thought that it was a privilege for Brendon to sleep with him.

Hurricane

You’re behind my eyelids when I’m all alone.   Brendon misses Ryan.  A lot.

I led the revolution, in my bedroom.  This is talking about the fact Ryden was a LGBTQ+  relationship.

They don’t look like me.  Brendon’s a cocky lil shit.  Brendon knows that Ryan isn’t going to be with anyone more attractive than him.

They don’t sound like me.  No matter how hard Ryan and Jon try, none of those songs they write can sound like his.  They don’t have the vocal ability.

This one hurts too.  Memories

With an unrequited love.  Brendon felt that Ryan never really loved him back

She was the youngest of the family, and the last to be let go.  Brendon was the youngest of a large mormon family.

Then they decided that they would try to make it on their own.  The original four all risked everything for this chance that they would make it in the music world.

Oh memories, where’d you go?   You were all I’d ever known.  I actually think this is about Ryan and Spencer’s friendship.  One of the unanswered questions of the split is, why did Spencer side with Brendon even though Ryan had been his best friends since they were five?

How I miss yesterday.  Brendon and Spencer both just really want it to be 2009 again.

When July became December.  An overarching theme of this album is summer ending.  This is often related to the split.

But they couldn’t quite remember what inspired them to go.  After the underwhelming debut of The Young Veins, Ryan and Jon would have to watch Panic!  Make a comeback, without them.

They were fighting for their love, it was growing tired.  Brendon and Ryan tried to make it work.

When the money lost momentum.  Ryan and Jon were probably rolling in Panic!  Royalties after they left, but although they still gain a little money from their Panic! Days, it’s definitely slowed down.

They were young and independent, and they thought they had it planned. Should have known right from the start, you can’t predict the end.  At the beginning they were young, and desperate for separation from their parents.  They thought everything would be perfect.  You can’t predict how things will end.

Don’t let it fade away.  I think that this is a message to us, the fans.  Don’t let these first two albums be forgotten.

Trade Mistakes

I think this song is about Brendon’s mistakes as a lover and friend.   About how it bothers him that Ryan can seemingly just keep going without him.  Brendon knows he fucked up by letting Ryan leave, he wants to trade those mistakes for peace of mind

Ready to Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind)

You’ve got these little things, that you’ve been running from.  Ryan had a troubled childhood that still haunts him, it’s why he can’t stay with someone from his past.  These tiny things following him everywhere.

I’m ready to live.  Fuck Ryan Ross.  Brendon is learning how to be in Panic! Without Ryan.   Learning to live without Ryan.

Get me out of my mind.  Brendon wants to think about anything but Ryan.

Always  this song fucks me up too

When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back.  I think this is about how Ryan wrote songs about his struggles, then Brendon had to sing it.  Brendon would have to carry part of the burden.

You’re taking me apart.  Brendon is slowly being pulled apart, Ryan left him.  His band is split in two.

It was always you, falling for me.   Brendon now sees that Ryan did love him.  

I’m the light blinking at the end of the road, blink back to let me know.  Despite everything, Brendon is still waiting for Ryan.  He’s begging Ryan for a sign that there’s something worth waiting for.

I’m a fly that’s trapped, in a web, but I’m thinking that, my spider’s dead.  Brendon is still very in love with Ryan, but he’s beginning to believe that there’s no hope for them.

Lonely, lonely little life, I could kid myself, thinking that I’m fine.  Brendon feels alone without Ryan.  Yes, he has Spencer, but it’s not the same.  Even though he knows that Spencer can’t replace Ryan in anyway, he can make himself believe that.

The Calendar

If you don’t let it out, you’re gonna let it eat you away.  Ryan and Brendon were keeping their love a secret and it was slowly destroying them.

Pray I could replace her, forget the way her tears taste.  Brendon tried to replace Ryan and Jon with Dallon, but it wasn’t the same.

Put another X on the calendar, summer’s on its death bed.  Summer was when their love both blossomed and and died.

There’s simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends. Brendon had said in interviews that he’d hoped that they’d be together forever.  I bet if you’d told 17 year old Panic! That it would end with them all hating each other, not talking.  Toxic relationships.  They would have hesitated before signing to decaydance.

And I meant everything I said that night, I’ll come back to life, but only for you.  This is hinting at the resurgence of Panic!  Literally 90% of the songs on V&V were about Ryan.  Panic! Came back, but for Ryan.

Don’t want to call it a second chance, but when I came back, it was more of a relapse. Whenever Brendon gave Ryan a second chance it felt like he was doing drugs again, like he was high.  Like he had broken a promise to himself.

Sarah Smiles

THIS SONG IS ABOUT SARAH.  I CAN MAKE AN ARGUMENT FOR MOST OF THESE SONGS.  BUT. THIS. IS. ABOUT. SARAH.

Nearly Witches.

This song is special because it’s technically the last song written by Ryan Ross for Panic!  He didn’t write all of it though.  We need to start with the french.

Dès le premier jour, ton parfum enivra mon amour, et dans ces instants, j'aimerais être comme toi par moments, mais depuis ce jour, je n'ai qu'un seul et unique regret

From day one, my love your perfume intoxicated, and in these moments

I want to be like you at times, but since that day, I only have a single regret.  Most of this comes in again later.

Here I am, composing a burlesque.  What’s really important about this line is how Brendon performs it.  This is the last line Ryan ever wrote.  Brendon will often perform it mockingly, many people have interpreted it as Brendon being petty af and making fun of Ryan.

I only shoot up with your perfume.  Only Ryan can get him the high he craves.

I’ve got just one regret to live through, that one regret is you.  Brendon regrets Ryan, regrets their love.

I’ve got just one regret to live through, and I regret ever letting you go.  This changes the meaning of the original line.  Now, it’s about Brendon regretting letting what he and Ryan had die.  He thinks he should’ve held onto it as long as possible.

Mona Lisa, pleased to please ya.  This makes me think that the Mona Lisa is Ryan.  Even though Brendon regrets leaving Ryan, he knows he was never as much to Ryan as Ryan was to him.

The album as a whole

Brendon is a salty bitch.  

Not much happened between this and Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die.  Brendon cried while performing Northern Downpour.  Idk not much.   Oh yeah, Brendon and Sarah got married.

Too Rare to Live, Too Rare to Die

I think this album is a lot of Brendon accepting his sexuality, Ryan+Jon being gone, and the future.  A fair amount of this album was written by Dallon.  

This is Gospel

This song is about Spencer and his struggle with addiction.

Miss Jackson

When I saw Panic! In concert, Brendon said this was about a girl in Vegas.  I think that there’s some parts that apply to Ryan though.  I think when Brendon sings about no one knowing who was there, he’s talking about how they’d had to keep their love a secret.

Girl That You Love

This song was dedicated to Ryan Ross in the album notebook.

Drop every pretense.  Pretense literally means an attempt to make something that is not the case to appear true.  So basically Brendon is saying, ‘hey Ry, yeah remember how we pretended we weren’t in love.  Yeah stop that’

Nicotine

The song’s about how Brendon felt addicted to Ryan’s love, always saying that it would be the last time.  

Girls/Girls/Boys

I actually think this isn’t about Ryan, but instead Brendon realizing that it’s okay for him to have these feelings for another man.  

Casual Affair

This song is talking about how they’d both just said, ‘Oh it’s okay, we’re young, fooling around.’  If you want to cry watch this video of Brendon singing Casual Affair and breaking down.  In Seattle.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhXDQBZNdIE

End of All Things

I am always yours.  Yes, Brendon’s married and loves Sarah.  But this song is about the end of an era.  Ryan will  always have a hold over Brendon, but this song is Brendon trying to move on.

We are young again.  Brendon wants to go back to the beginning.  When they were young and happy and carefree.

In these coming years, many things will change, but the way I feel, will remain the same.  Brendon wants Ryan to know things will change, he’s married now. But a part of him will always care about Ryan, no matter what.

After Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die Spencer left.  He left to go get help for is drug abuse.  Brendon began to work on Death of a Bachelor.  Ryan….  Ryan kept being emo™.

Death of a Bachelor

Doab is about Brendon falling in love with Sarah, getting married, AGAIN trying to move on.

Hallelujah

My life started the day I got caught, under the covers.  Brendon didn’t know what life was truly like before Ryan.

Who was I trying to be?  Why were they trying to hide it?  Everyone guessed anyway.

Then the time for being sad is over, and you miss them like you miss no other, but being blue is better than being over it.   Brendon knows he should be over Ryan by now, but he still misses him.  And to Brendon, being sad about the split is better than forgetting about the love he shared with Ryan.

Death of a Bachelor

Do I look lonely?  Hey Ryan.   Ryan look. I’m married and still in the band.  I’m still friends with Spencer.  I’m not lonely.

And when you think of me, am I the best you ever had?  Does Ryan still miss Brendon like Brendon misses him.  Is Brendon still the best relationship he ever had?

Share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad.  Brendon is married.  Ryan can never be that person for him anymore, but Ryan has to pretend that he’s happy for Brendon.

Golden Days

Fuck this song.  If I went through every song that could possibly reference Ryden/Original band it would take pages.  So here’s some highlights.

We’ll stay drunk, we’ll stay tan, let the love remain.   The summer before the split, where they toured around the world.  That is summer that Brendon is talking about.  The summer when the band got along, where they ALL loved each other.

Golden days.  Brendon thinks these are the best days of his life.  He knows that when he’s older he’ll look back on his life and remember the summer spent with his three best friends is the of his life.

Time can never break your heart, but it can take the pain away.  Brendon knows that eventually thinking about the split will hurt less.

House of Memories

This song is a problem.  I hate it.  So much.  HOUSE OF PROBLEMS.  It has the same problem as the last one.  Highlights;

Memories turn into daydreams.  Brendon longs for days of Pretty. Odd   And the memories have slowly morphed into daydreams about what could’ve been.

Promise me a place, in your house of memories.  Ryan promise me that you won’t forget what we had.

I THINK OF YOU FROM TIME TO TIME, MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD, YOU WERE JUST TOO KIND, AND I WAS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW.  Brendon knew he’d miss Ryan, but thought it would be rarer.  Now looking back, Brendon realizes that what they had was worth keeping.

These thoughts of past lovers, they’ll always haunt me.   This is a message  to Sarah saying I love you, but I can’t let go of him.

Bonus Lines

Memories tend to just pop up. Brendon doesn’t want to miss the old Panic!  But he can’t help is.  -Don’t Threaten Me With  Good Time

For future interviewers:

here’s a list of questions to ask Little Mix instead of boring questions about 1D/Zerrie wedding:

  • What’s the album title?
  • What’s the new album sound like?
  • What’s Jesy’s favorite song on Rixton’s album?
  • More questions about Leigh’s fashion blog
  • Is Perrie gonna keep the sidepart forever?
  • Who’s going to dye their hair next?
  • Have they kept in touch with Rodney?
  • What’s going on with them video diaries??
  • What does Jordan actually do…..?? Like what’s his career?
  • Why did Aaron play Perrie like that @ the brits this year?
  • What do they think of a pop legend (aka Britney Spears) recording and releasing a song they wrote?
  • Is DNA really going to be continued?
  • Why wasn’t Nothing Feels Like You a single?
  • Will Leigh Anne start getting braids more often?
  • Will Jade ever wear those cute buns she had in the Dreaming Together video again?
  • Some actual questions about Dreaming Together…like that happened why y’all so hush about it?
  • TOUR QUESTIONS…..TOUR QUESTIONS…….