hurt inside

i am soft.
i have needled.
i have been so
uncarefully handled;
this body that
looks sturdy but
always breaks
and breaks.
i have learned not
to let just anybody near.
i have been picked apart.
i have
done
the picking apart.
i have
hurt and
hurt inside my hurt
and hurt
outside my hurt.
there are no
excuses here,
just reasons.
just explanations.
just
anecdotes behind these
tender wounds
that sometimes
look like scars,
and other times
like flesh wounds.
i get cut deep and
my hollow body
fills up with everything.
there are good parts to everything,
i suppose.
i’m not so lonely anymore.
there are so many people
here,
inside.
i find them
when i mean to find myself.
i find myself
when i try to lose her.
i’m not asking
for anyone to keep me.
i am asking
for my body
to be a body.
i am asking
for my hands
to remain hands,
and my feet
to stay my feet.
and my heart
to stay soft.
and my eyes,
my eyes.
they must change.
they must be able
to stand the mirror,
and the image that comes with it.
—  and my mind: may it stay always changing
6

#he is SO!!! FUCKING!!!!!! HURT!!!!!!!!!!! #look inside his fucking eyes #JUST LOOK AT HIM #it’s all over his face #risking his life ONCE AGAIN to save the girl he loves was not enough to bring her home #and worst part is that this time SHE was the one who decided that

Let me cover your shit in glitter
I can make it gold, gold
Heard you’re tryna sell your soul, baby
But I’m not sure, you’re running low, lately - Consideration

I’d rather be breaking things
Cause we can’t see
We’re too busy kissing
Just making scenes - James joint

Just take it on back, take it on back
Do what you gotta do, keep me up all night
Hurting bad man, and it hurts inside when I look you in your eye - Kiss it better

I believed all of your dreams, adoration
You took my heart and my keys and my patience
You took my heart on my sleeve for decoration
You mistaken my love I brought for you for foundation - Work

If you want, we could be runaways
Running from and it’s out of luck
Yeah, yeah, there ain’t nothing
There ain’t nothing here for me - Desperado

I bet she could never make you cry
Cause the scars on your heart are still mine - Woo

You needed me
Oooh, you needed me
To feel a little more, and give a little less - Needed me

I want you to homicide it
Going slow and I want you to pop it
And I think I kinda like ya
Up against the wall, we don’t need a title - Yeah I said it

Feel like a brand new person
So how will I know that it’s right?
In a new direction
So how will I know I’ve gone too far? - Same ol’ mistakes

Slipped into a peril that I’ll never understand
This feeling always gets away
Wishing I could hold on longer
It doesn’t have to feel so strange
To be in love again - Never again

And I run for miles just to get a taste
Must be love on the brain
That’s got me feeling this way - Love on the brain

This whiskey got me feelin’ pretty
So pardon if I’m impolite
I just really need your ass with me - Higher

No you don’t need my protection
But I’m in love, can’t blame me for checking
I look in your direction, hoping that the message goes - Close to you

Anti - Rihanna

super quick and short drabble inspired by @findoworld‘s feelsy art ;-;
nalu – natsu waking up scene for next chapter, focusing solely on the small things; the touches, the glances, nothing big

She traces the palm of his hand with her fingertips, gently lacing their fingers together.

The bandages on his arm are stained with dried blood, the ones around his chest fresher, pristine and white. She sighs. It’s the second day he is asleep.

Melancholy lingers in her eyes as she watches his sleeping form, regret and hurt flaring up inside her now as much as ever since she had lain eyes on him in the infirmary, bruised and battered and unconscious. He had almost died. He had almost left her alone.

His fingers twitch.

Lucy stills completely, eyes trained on his index finger, which is uncurling the tiniest bit.

She lifts her head, seeking out his face. His eyelids, too, twitch. Pulling her hand from his, Lucy scrambles closer, very carefully placing the palm of her hand on his unscarred cheek. Her hand is warm from holding his, but it wouldn’t have had to be: he is burning up.

His brows scrunch. Lucy holds her breath.

Happy is curled into a ball at the side of his thigh, his innocent slumber not interrupted just yet.

Eyelids flutter, and then Natsu’s dark eyes hazily drift across her face. He stares for a moment, until the faintest of smiles tugs at his mouth.

“Lucy?” he rasps, voice sore from pain and disuse. Lucy nods, smiling.

Her fingertips still press against his cheek, and now she ever so carefully moves them along his skin, swallowing in time with him.

“Hey,” she whispers, blinking away tears of relief.

His hand stops her from pulling back, closing weakly around her wrist. Then it moves over hers, so large and calloused and warm above her small one, pressing it back onto his cheek. He blinks sleepily, struggling to focus.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, and Lucy is not sure what he is apologizing for.

It does not matter.

Her hair pools on his chest as she leanes forward a little more, and gently presses her forehead to his. She hears him exhale deeply.

“It’s alright,” she answers, voice trembling but strong nonetheless. Her thumb strokes across his cheek, a genuine smile finally brightening her face. She hopes he sees it. Hopes it makes him believe in better things.

“It’s alright.”