Imagine...Telling The Winchesters About Your Past
Request: do you think you could do one where dean (or sam) finds out that the reader has extreme depression and mental problems because her parents were actually demons in disguise and that’s why she became a hunter?
Pairing: Sam x reader
Warnings: implied prior abuse
“You’re quiet tonight,” said Sam, taking a seat beside you on the motel bed. You shifted away from him, finding the floor more interesting to look at. “I know you don’t like demon hunts but you got that kid out. No one got hurt.”
“I don’t want to talk about it Sam,” you said. You saw Dean raise an eyebrow as he plopped down on his bed.
“You’re going to tell one of us about whatever underlying issue you have with demons is someday,” said Dean, throwing back his covers.
“Baby,” said Sam, rubbing his palm into your back, his fingers tickling your neck. “You trust us right?”
“Of course I do,” you said, lifting your head up to see Dean sitting up in his bed.
“I can go drive around in Baby if you feel more comfortable talking to Sam about it,” said Dean, waiting for your cue.
“You’re both my guys,” you said, moving closer to Sam, his large arms pulling you into his lap, long legs wrapping around you, making you safe. “Sam’s kind of guessed this but I get…sad sometimes.”
“Yeah, we uh, we noticed,” said Dean, keeping his voice soft.
“Not sad like you think of sad. It’s more of a permanent state for me and it’s either bad or less bad,” you said, feeling Sam’s head rest on yours. “Like right now, I’m not happy. But it’s not so bad because Sam’s all around me.”
“Okay,” said Sam gently, giving your body a little squeeze that both said he thought nothing was wrong with you but that he’d help in any way he could.
“I guess, I don’t trust you both the way I want to,” you said, watching Dean tilt his head curiously. “I don’t know how to trust fully like you and Sam. The whole demon thing ties in with that.”
“That’s okay too,” said Sam in your ear, making you remember what happy was in that moment just to have him want you.
“My parents weren’t hunters,” you said. “More like…demons pretending to be my parents. I was a baby when this demon couple found them half-dead after a car accident. They finished them off and popped into their new bodies. They were a little surprised to find out there was a six month old waiting at home.”
“You six month old babies get it rough, don’t you?” teased Dean, looking at Sam who scolded him. “Sorry, keep going.”
“They weren’t what I would call good,” you said, leaning back into Sam. “They screwed me up pretty good and really screwed me up when I found out the truth. They thought they could get some of their humanity back by raising me or something.”
“You got the short end of it,” said Dean, looking at his lap.
“Y/N,” said Sam quietly. “We’re your family now. Dean and I, our lives were messed up because of demons too. You don’t have to let it keep a hold over you.”
“I want to feel normal, to know what normal feels like,” you said, looking over to Dean who had a sad smile on his face.
“I think we can help with that,” said Sam.
You woke up one morning, months and months later, looking over at a sleeping Sam in bed, hair in his face, snores escaping him.
It’d taken some time for you to learn that normal was a range, not a set thing. Normal people got in funks, got sad, upset and Dean so conveniently pointed out one day, you were hunters. Hunters weren’t normal.
It was strange but that comment helped more than you trying to fit yourself into what you thought the world needed you to be. Sam told you to be yourself, don’t try to make anyone happy, including him.
Without all the pressure you put on yourself, things got easier. You weren’t sure you’d ever fall into that normal you’d imagined for yourself but easier was a start.
A start that had helped lead from your first thoughts in the morning being Sam would leave you any day now to yeah, he was right, you deserved him.
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