hungry crocodile

Become The Croc

–Following on from the last post, our party (an elf Naivara, a dwarf Krystrid, and a tiefling Murithi) is fleeing the resistance base through the sewers, and gets stuck in a room with two hungry crocodiles—

Murithi: (OOC) Wait, my characters basically half-crocodile, can I just like… become one of them?

DM: I mean… you can try?

Murithi: (OOC) I’m doing it.

–She proceeds to roll like a 19 or 20 on Deception–

DM: SO, you two see Murithi stripoff her clothes, lie down belly first in the water, and just drift past the other crocodiles, who just kindof ignore her.

Nai & Krystrid: wtf??? ???

–The fight ends with Naivara rolling a natural 20 on Chromatic Orb and totally annihilating one crocodile, and then magical surging, casting fireball on herself and miraculously only killing the other crocodile –

Office (CEO!Jimin)

Plot: #29: “I lost our child.” with CEO!Jimin as a father

Word Count: 1062

A/N: so I will start working on pirate!Hobi, I’ll keep you guys updated on it but for now, here is some good old fashioned fluff with father!chim, the links for this are CEO!Jimin (here) and father!Jimin (all of the father related posts are here)

He should’ve guessed this would happen. It was bring your kids to work day and he had been more than happy to bring his daughter into work with him. She had always loved going to work with Jimin but that day she had all of the other kids to play with. It had been one moment of looking away from her, one moment of letting go of her hand and one moment for him to realize she wasn’t stood next to him anymore.

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anonymous asked:

hey so it looks like you're doing requests and I don't wanna bother you but I've been feeling really down lately and there's been no taegi to feed on so could you maybe please do some mafia au hcs w/ taegi and spoiled tae/babied tae idk I relate to him easily plz baby be thsi got wild ok I'm sorry

Taehyung is the type of boy who lives for being spoiled more so with attention over actual physical gifts, to be honest. Like sure, those pretty wide doll eyes light up when he’s given a new Gucci top or shoes or belt and he’s always so thankful. Sure, he happily giggles when he’s given the most expensive camera to take his pictures or when a new gold plated gun is placed in his lap along with the new knife set he’d seen and desperately wanted. But NOTHING compares to being spoiled in attention by his usually busy boss boyfriend. 

In his eyes, there is literally nothing better than waking up early in the morning to the sound of Yoongi quietly playing his favorite songs on the baby grand piano in their room. It’s like his own literal piece of heaven really. He gets to open his eyes and just barely make out the elder’s silhouette through the canopy that surrounds their bed.  Yoongi always looks so handsome too. The elder is in a bloody white button up shirt that has been left open to show off the gun holster at his side and the many tattoos covering his skin, with Taehyung’s name straight over his heart. His mint hair is messy, held out of his face by a red bandana Taehyung gifted him back before he was a boss, when he was only running drugs in the streets, for good luck. He’s not even looking at the keys as he plays. His eyes on 100 percent on Taehyung’s form on their bed and it’s everything. 

Taehyung literally buzzes right from the beginning because he loves the attention Yoongi has for him, even when he’s asleep and unaware the elder is watching. 

Of course, Yoongi’s gone overboard even in something simple like waking Taehyung up. 

The mafia boss has filled their white plush carpet in red rose petals and has laid out the most expensive looking breakfast on their bedside table for when his baby gets hungry.  He’s set out a new silk robe, gold in color because it’s the color prettiest on Taehyung, for the younger to put on and it honestly looks like it cost more than their entire house. 

Taehyung actually giggles as he takes it all in. 

“Welcome back home, how was the business in China?” 

Yoongi moves closer to Taehyung’s spot on their bed because he knows that while the gifts are pretty, what Taehyung really wants is skin to skin contact. He gets rewarded for it with a kiss on his cheek before the younger wipes some stray white powder from his pants. 

“It was the same.” Yoongi sighs and begins running his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. “Only three people died this time, I got a surprise for you too by the way.” 

It’s just one of the smaller but best ways he spoils his prince. He showers his love in affection the best he can and it’s just great. 

Sometimes he spoils Taehyung by showing him off. 

The younger doesn’t admit it, but then again he doesn’t really need to, the elder just knows Taehyung loves being shown off. Taehyung loves being the meat that is dangled over the swamp filled with hungry crocodiles just barely out of reach.  Taehyung loves dressing up in the most expensive, shortest, showy dresses and furs he can find while his neck and wrist is filled with Tiffany’s most expensive diamonds so everyone can want to fuck him or be him. 

Yoongi makes sure his boy gets his fill of being the flashy boy the world wants to be. 

He shows up to drug trades with Taehyung hanging on his arm, wearing nothing but short leather shorts and a too big Givenchy sweater that hasn’t even hit runways yet. Smirking while everyone stares. Taehyung’s freshly died lilac hair is perfectly done and the Rolex on his wrist cost more than the warehouse they are in but what really matters to him is that everyone stares at Yoongi with envy.

What really matters is that everyone wants Taehyung on their arm too. 

Everyone wants the boy that easily pulls out a knife from the inside of one of his knee-high boots before stabbing it into a bag of cocaine.  Everyone, bosses, and runners alike want Taehyung and it’s obvious as they watch with lust filled eyes while Taehyung takes some of the drugs and snorts it before pouting. 

“It’s not real Yoonie.” 

Yoongi sighs and kisses Taehyung sloppily, making sure everyone gets a good view, and one last minute of wanting the pretty boy, before putting a bullet into everyone’s head. 

Literally, anything Taehyung wants, Yoongi makes sure his prince gets it. 

Taehyung wants the cute dog he saw some lady at the park with? Guess what? Yoongi is using his best informants to find her home and is personally sticking a gun up in her face and stealing the canines. 

It’s how they welcome Min Holly and Kim Soonshim to their home. 

Taehyung wants to walk in Milan’s fashion week? 

Damn right Yoongi is sending out his best hitters to cut off a finger from the main fashion designer’s hand as a warning until his baby is added to the show. 

Anything to see his boy smile that box grin that makes his eyes scrunch up into cute half moons. Anything to hear the way Taehyung happily screams “YOONIE BABE THANK YOU!!!” before he’s showered in kisses by the younger. Anything for the boy that always rides for him and would 100 percent die for him. 

Somewhere in Neverland (Ashton Irwin)

Having never been to Disneyland before, to say you were excited was a bit of an understatement. You and your two best friends wanted to spend time together since you never really got to anymore with them going to different colleges across the country, so you were obviously the first to agree to the mini vacation. They’d been the ones to suggest going to Disney – they knew you’d always wanted to go – and now, here you were: you, Leah, and Kara walking around the park in search of all your favorite characters.

You’d met every character you’d grown up on and even the ones that were newer to the Disney family.

Well… All but one.

Near the end of the day, you were starting to get discouraged about your search. You hadn’t seen Peter Pan all day and he was the one character you were really excited to meet.

Your friends could sense your mood change and insisted you all go get some ice cream to make you feel better. You did – you could never go wrong with ice cream – and while you were sitting at a table, Leah and Kara had gone to the bathroom.

As they were coming back, you saw their eyes widen and a huge smile form on their faces as you got up. You raised an eyebrow as you made your way over to them. Once you were fairly close, you opened your mouth to ask them what was up when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned and your heart skipped a beat, instantly smiling at Peter Pan.

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constellationskeith  asked:

Sheith prompt: Tending to a child together.

Warning: this is omegaverse, and Keith’s is being called mom. 

“Shiro?” Keith leaned against the wall; arms crossed over his chest.

Shiro looked from behind the table. Keith could see only one pair of eyes and messy bangs. On Shiro’s forehead was plastered a silver star. He gained this star for being the best in the hide and seek game. Keith was the worse, so their son just poured some gold dust from his art supplies on his father’s head. Now Keith looked like a formal nebula hidden in the depth of the space. But after all, Shiro have to admit that his husband’s new look magnificent him. 

Shhh!” Shiro hid back behind the table.

“Do you really think that our son is going to let you win the second time?”

“No, if you won’t stop talking to me!”

“He’s six years old, and he constructed his first combustion engine.” Keith moved from the wall. 

Dad?!” a boy’s painful voice was coming from the hallway. The tone alarmed Keith. Immediately he ran out of the room, following his son’s cry. 

Airi, the six years old son of two Paladins of Voltron was sitting on the floor. His body covered in the gold and silver dust. On both of his cheeks were shining two golden stars. When the boy saw his mom walking towards him, stressed out, eyes big and full of worry, he lifted both of his palms. 

“Airi, what happened!” Keith crouch next to his son.

“I stumbled over the toolkit. I fell on glue.” 

“What is happening! what happened!” Shiro jerked into the corridor prepared to fight any devil that would touch his family. “Where are they?!” 

Keith sighed, watching his husband waving around with a wooden sword. He almost forgot that his two little boys were playing on knights and dragons. Of course, he was the princess. Why not? Eventually, it didn’t matter, because the princess had to save herself. Both of her knights fell into a river full of hungry crocodiles. Hunk and Coran were excellent at playing crocodiles. 

“Is she back? The dragon?!” Shiro swung the sword looking at his son.

“Pidge is in the lab,” Keith replied, “and you should go and bring some thinner and clean cloth.” 

“What happened?” Now concerned, Shiro placed the provisory sword on the floor. He bent to his son, ruffling his hair. 

“Airi tripped and fell on glue.” Keith pulled his son into his arms and lifted him from the cold floor. “Just, be careful with your hands.” 

“Mom, why is glue gluing?” Airi asked looking into his sticky palms. 

“The glue is gluing, because of its formula. It’s all about chemistry.” At the very last moment, Shiro managed to catch his son’s hand before it touched Keith’s braid. “No Airi, you don’t want to stick your fingers into your mom’s hair. The braid is very important. Uncle Kolivan wouldn’t be happy.“

“Stop scaring me!” Keith entered the infirmary. 

Airi chuckled when he’s father used the plait of his husband to create a mustache. Curious what is happening behind his back, Keith turned around. Shiro accidentally pulled his hair and almost stumbled over his feets. Keith hissed, kicking his husband into the shin. 

“Dad! Mom defeated the dragon and horde of evil wizards!” Airi let his mom settle him on the table.

“But your dad defeated the crocodiles.” Keith smiled, turning his child’s palms upward. “Shiro the thinner.” 


“Now,” Keith grabbed the face mask, “I’ll cover your nose and mouth because of the harmful fumes.” 

Airi nodded watching his father uncapped the lid from the glass bottle. Milion light years in the space, hundreds of highly intelligent species and each one of them used a diluent. Maybe not for the glue, but humans didn’t know better. 

“Your father is very brave.” Keith wetted the cloth, “without him we wouldn’t even have this conversation.” 

Shiro frowned, thinking about just one reason why they shouldn’t be here without him and how in the hell it could be dangerous to come at this point when finally, the lights turned on, and he started to laugh. “Yeah, bringing you to this world was an extreme journey.” 

Keith smiled, “that’s not what I meant.” 

“How did you bring me?” Airi asked, his voice muffled in the mask. 

“Well,” Shiro rubbed the back of his neck, “we.. uhm… me and Keith, your mom, we both… had a moment and then…” Nervously he shifted on his place and then moved closer to Keith begging for help. 

“I don’t know either, would you tell me, Shiro?” Keith gently scuffed the glue from between his son’s fingers. 

“Stork!” Shiro snapped. 

Keith straightened, looking at his son for a while. He turned his head to his husband. “A stork, in the space.” He lifted his eyebrow. 

“Space stork!” The proud smile on his Shiro’s face, evoked a strong desire to slap Shiro’s arm and spank him until not even his ass would be red, but also his…

“Mom?” Airi broke the thread of his thought, “It’s fine!” He closed and opened his palms that were no longer sticky. “Thank you.”

“Be careful next time, alright?” Keith smiled, taking off the mask from his son’s face.  

“Can I go to aunt Allura and tell her about the space stork?”

“Of course, go on.” With a smile, Keith started to clean up. 

When their son disappeared in the hallway, Shiro leaned against the table, watching his husband smiling. But soon the innocent chuckle turned into a laugh. Keith threw the used cloth at Shiro. Without a word, but smirking, Shiro removed the star from his forehead and plastered it on Keith’s cheek. 


> Her s/o isn’t big like Reinhardt, but there’s just something about them that reeks of back alleys and the fires of war. The numerous scars on their body doesn’t help make them seem any more friendly than a hungry crocodile.

> They’re a valuable fighter, but the others keep their distance to them.

> Tracer is pretty oblivious to their threatening demeanour, and reaches out to them right away despite the others’ warnings.

> For that reason, her s/o fell in love with her - she saw through their appearance when no one else could.

> Reinhardt choked on his coffee when he showed up to the kitchen and found Tracer’s s/o in an apron, baking little tarts for Tracer (and begrudgingly, the rest of the team).

> The rest of the team is practically in shock when the couple’s in the dining table, not just with them being lovey-dovey and all, but for the fact that Tracer’s tough-as-nails s/o is bending over backwards for her little requests

> They had to scrape McCree’s chin off the floor when Tracer’s s/o kissed her on her cheek.

> Admin GK

anonymous asked:

Yeah. *smiles and nods* Oh, hey! Ya nevah told me 'bout da funniest headline ya evah made up. 'Member 'cause ya said we should tell each other 'bout 'em an' I told ya 'bout my fake clown headline. ~Mouth

(Flame): Well I guess the best one I have eva come up with is “ Crocodiles go hungry due to shortage of tourists” when it was jus’ some article ‘bout traveling

Bill Watterson, the reclusive creator of Calvin and Hobbes, briefly returned to comics last week when he ghostwrote parts of Stephan Pastis’ Pearls Before Swine. In those strips, Pastis is replaced by a precocious second grader named Libby, who draws exuberant scenes of Martian invasions and hungry crocodiles, in contrast with Pastis’ more understated style.

In a weekend post on his website, Pastis revealed that “Libby” was really Watterson and remarked that working with Watterson was like catching “a glimpse of Bigfoot.” Pastis added: “By the end of the process, I was left with the distinct impression that he works in a log cabin lit by whale oil and hands his finished artwork to a man on a pony.”

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therunya  asked:

Sousuke listens to music on his phone in the show right? What if you wrote about Sou being willing to share an earbud with Haru? It helps when I write it.

This became mostly makorin, I’m sorry, it got away from me!  Rin is in so so deep.  And Sousuke probably got a little lax on his no pda rule…

“Do they really think this is necessary?” Rin asks, voice low as he bends across the picnic table to speak to Makoto.

Giggling softly, Makoto can only shrug, looking half-exasperated himself.  

“They just care about us, Rin,” he whispers, chancing a glance at their uninvited audience.  Sousuke and Haru are sitting side-by-side on a bench across the park; Sousuke on his phone with his earbuds in while Haru stares blankly off into space, probably dreaming about water.

“Did they actually think we wouldn’t notice them there?” Rin hisses.  He squeezes Makoto’s wrist without thinking, before he quickly draws back with a blush.

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