hunch-back

Keeping Promises {Calum Hood Smut}

PAIRING: Calum/Y/N
RATING: R
WORD COUNT: 6000+
REQUESTED: Yes! It took fucking forever, I’m so sorry :(

I’ve had major writer’s block since August, ugh :/ but I finally finished this, and I sort of love it, yet sort of despise it so…anyways, let me know what you think!

~*~

Keep reading

The worst assassin

OK, premise. We’re playing Dark Heresy and I’m the DM. In the previous campaign I’d been an assassin that became almost godly at getting into and out of places. So when I DM’d one of the other players wanted to try their hand at it.

DM(me): So you’ve managed to sneak up on the guy, he’s hunched over with his back to you.

Assassin: Okay I want to pull him onto his back then curb stomp him in the face. *rolls critical success on strength, but critically fails the stomp*

DM: You’ve fluffed it, missed and twisted your ankle and are on the floor in pain. Meanwhile he gets up and is going for the revenge! *NPC attempts curb stomp and also critically fails, twists ankle, is on the floor too*

Guardsman(ooc): You sure failed that hard

Assassin(ooc): He did too!

Guardsman(ooc): He’s a mechanic! You’ve been trained from birth!